roguefankc

[roguefankc]

(The Dagger Squad are all in the rec room in Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and Tom "Iceman" Kazansky's house, watching the TV when Maverick runs into the room in a panic, before quickly closing the door behind him before leaning against it, worried)

Maverick: Who wants to make 100 bucks?!

(The Daggers look at Maverick with suspicion and confusion)

Callie "Halo" Bassett: How?

Maverick: I need someone to take the fall.

(Iceman is heard from the next room)

Iceman (shocked): What the fuck?

(The Daggers are now more confused)

Robert "Bob" Floyd: What did you do?!

Maverick (desperate): I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

(Iceman is heard from the next room, now louder)

Iceman (angry): What the fuck?!

Jake "Hangman" Seresin: Make it 500.

Maverick (instantly and relieved): Done!

(Maverick opens the door, and now Iceman is heard screaming from the next room)

Iceman (in terror and horrified): WHAT THE FUCK?!

(Maverick places his hands on Hangman's shoulders)

Maverick (grateful): You're a good man, Jake Seresin.

(Maverick then grabs Hangman by the collar of his shirt and drags him off to the next room to Iceman while the Dagger Squad watches wordlessly)

Maverick (yelling to the next room): I got him, Ice! I got him, don't worry, honey!

#source: malcolm in the middle #incorrect top gun quotes #incorrect top gun maverick quotes #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #jake hangman seresin #robert bob floyd #iceman isn't stupid #iceman would automatically suspect maverick at this point #iceman knows maverick after all these years #callie halo bassett #icemav

[roguefankc]

It's Flu Season! And because Maverick would be the biggest baby if he got sick...

(Penny, Wolfman, Slider, Merlin, and Hollywood run though the front door of Iceman and Maverick house, with Iceman tiredly sitting on the couch in the living room)

Wolfman: Ice?! what's wrong?! We all got your message that you needed help!

Iceman: It's awful! The whole house is sick! First Hangman came down with the flu, then Phoenix, then Rooster, then Payback, and then all the rest of the Dagger Squad! I was running a sick ward all weekend!

Merlin:...wait, why isn't Maverick helping you?

Iceman (flatly): Because then came Monday...

(Maverick comes out in his bathrobe, hair tousled, pale, clammy, and half-asleep and in his hands a bottle of pills)

Maverick (whining): Ice, honey? Can you open the aspirin for me?

---

(The whole 80s Top Gun team and Penny stay to help Iceman run the house and take care of Maverick and the Dagger Squad)

(Maverick is in bed, weakly ringing a bell)

Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...

Slider (in the next room helping Coyote): Give me a minute.

Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...

Slider (in the next room): I said I'm coming!

Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...

(Slider rushes into Maverick's bedroom in a panic): What?! What?! What?!

Maverick (weakly): My pillow needs poofing.

Slider (eye twitching):...Mitchell, I don't think you want to put a pillow in my hands right now.

---

(Maverick is in bed, whining and gasping for breath)

Maverick (weakly): I'm dying, Hollywood. I'm giving up the ghost. Every cell in my being is crying out in anguish. It was a good life while it lasted, but this is it. Hello, Grim Reaper.

Hollywood (with a bottle of cough syrup and a spoon in his hands): Cut the bullshit. The medicine doesn't taste that bad.

Maverick (weakly):...Goose? Dad? Carol? Is that you?

---

(Maverick is in his bathrobe, still sick, and in Iceman's home office while Iceman is frantically typing away on his keyboard)

Maverick: Ice, sweetie? Can you heat up some chicken soup for me?

Iceman (stressed): Mav, sorry but I'm really busy right now! I need to approve this contract in twenty minutes! Can't you just fend for yourself?

Maverick (whining): But I'm sick, honey...

Iceman: Mav, for fuck's sake, we're not talking brain surgery! All you have to do is open a stupid can and dump it in a pot!

(Maverick disappears into the kitchen and then come back a minute later. In his hands is a pot, and in the pot is a can of chicken soup. The can is open but the contents of the soup are still inside the can)

Maverick: Now what?

Iceman:...now, we talk brain surgery.

---

(Maverick stumbles in the kitchen where Penny, Wolfman, and Merlin are making soup and orange juice for all the Dagger Squad)

Maverick: Is it time for my aspirin yet?

Wolfman: No, Mitchell.

Maverick: But my throat hurts...

Merlin: Maverick, go back to bed. It hasn't been four hours yet.

Maverick: But my head hurts! My joints hurt! My eyes hurt! My body hurts! (in a baby voice) My itty bitty widdle pinkies hurt!

(Penny sighs and opens the aspirin bottle)

Maverick (smirks): I knew I'd win with that one.

Penny: These aren't for you.

(Penny gives two pills to herself, Merlin, and Wolfman and they all gulp them down immediately)

---

(BONUS)

(Cyclone is back at headquarters in his office, feet on his desk with a small glass of bourbon)

Cyclone (smiling): What a peaceful, quiet day.

#incorrect top gun quotes #incorrect top gun maverick quotes #tom iceman kazansky #top gun maverick #incorrect top gun #Leonard Wolfman Wolfe #Ron Slider Kerner #Sam Merlin Wells #Rick Hollywood Neven #Penny Benjamin #source: foxtrot #pete maverick mitchell #maverick would be the biggest baby #phoenix is threating to kick hangman's ass for infecting her #beau cyclone simpson #top gun 1986 #icemav

[roguefankc]

(Kate Bishop and Yelena Belova walk by John Walker/U.S. Agent)

John Walker: What, aren't you two going to wish me a nice day?

(Kate and Yelena glare at U.S. Agent)

Kate Bishop (ticking off each point with a finger): You called me "the Discount Hawkeye" over a dozen times since we got introduced to each other. You told Yelena to her face that you can't trust her to lead the Thunderbolts because as a woman she's, and I quote, "too emotional to make good decisions". You insinuated to Sam Wilson the only reason he became Captain America was that Steve Rogers took pity on him. You gave an unauthorized interview with the Daily Bugle that you believe in Mysterio and threatened to arrest Spider-Man yourself. And you blatantly said in front of Princess Shuri and Namor that Wakanda and Talokan didn't deserve to have vibranium and that it should go to more deserving countries…

Yelena Belova: We don't care if you have a pulse, much less a nice day.

#incorrect kate bishop quotes #incorrect yelena belova quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #john walker #u.s. agent #yelena belova #kate bishop #marvel mcu #source: the golden palace

[roguefankc]

(Beau “Cyclone” Simpson is trying to run through a idea with Tom “Iceman” Kazansky in his office)

Iceman: This is a terrible proposal. I’m not approving it.

Cyclone: I know but it’s the only thing I can think of that the top brass would let slide!

Iceman: No, Simpson.

Cyclone: Give me one good reason.

Iceman (glaring): Well first of all, it sounds like one of Maverick’s ideas, and secondly - 

Cyclone (wincing): Hold it. That’s enough for me.

#source: i love lucy #incorrect top gun maverick quotes #incorrect top gun #incorrect top gun quotes #tom iceman kazansky #beau cyclone simpson #icemav #iceman x maverick #when you start emulating maverick something's wrong #pete maverick mitchell

[roguefankc]

(Beau “Cyclone” Simpson is screaming at Pete “Maverick” Mitchell in his office after Maverick’s latest fiasco/headache/disaster)

Cyclone: MY MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST A SICK GAME TO YOU, ISN’T IT?!

Maverick: Rack ‘em up, let’s play again.

#source: the nanny #incorrect top gun quotes #incorrect top gun maverick quotes #incorrect maverick #incorrect cyclone #pete maverick mitchell #beau cyclone simpson #ice is in the background sighing #pete maverick mitchell is a little shit #top gun maverick

[roguefankc]

Yelena Belova: I can't believe it! Valentina stabbed me in the back!

Everett Ross: See, I actually can.

Kate Bishop: Yelena, so what are you going to do now?

Yelena Belova: I'm going to deal with this the only way we Black Widows know how...

(Yelena brings out her batons)

Yelena Belova:...with swift and blinding violence.

Kate Bishop: Yelena, no.

Everett Ross: Hang on a minute, Bishop. Let's just wait and see where Belova goes with this.

Kate Bishop:....

#Kate Bishop #yelena belova #everett ross #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect kate bishop quotes #incorrect yelena belova quotes #incorrect everett ross quotes #source: married with children #kate let yelena give val exactly what she deserves #everett ross is supportive

[roguefankc]

Valentina Allegra de Fontaine: Belova! It's you're lucky day! We're going to get some vibranium!

Yelena Belova: Yeah, good luck with that.

Valentina Allegra de Fontaine:...did you not hear me? You're going to get some vibranium for me.

Yelena Belova:...and good luck with that.

Valentina Allegra de Fontaine: Let me spell it out for you, then. You, Yelena Belova, are going to lead the Thunderbolts into Takolan and Wakanda on joint suicide missions. You, Yelena Belova, and your team will sneak in, infiltrate, murder, and kill everyone in your way during the missions. You, Yelena Belova, will use the Thunderbolts to grab all the vibranium you and your cohorts can get your hands on. And you, Yelena Belova, and the Thunderbolts will bring back all the vibranium you can carry back to me clandestinely. Or die trying.

Yelena Belova: And let me spell it out for you: Good. Luck. With. That.

#yelena belova #Valentina Allegra de Fontaine #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect yelena belova #incorrect valentina allegra de fontaine #incorrect yelena belova quotes #yelena isn't an idiot #yelena would also tell val exactly where she can shove said order

[roguefankc]

Kate Bishop: Aren’t you going to introduce me to your family?

Yelena Belova: Not if I can help it.

#Kate Bishop #yelena belova #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect kate bishop #incorrect yelena belova #incorrect kate bishop quotes #incorrect yelena belova quotes #who can blame yelena? #source: mama's family

[roguefankc]

(Yelena and Kate are struggling trying to lug a gigantic Christmas tree through the entranceway. U.S. Agent and Valentina Allegra de Fontaine are watching)

John Walker: Hey dumbnuts! Where do you think you two are gonna put a tree that big?

Kate Bishop: Bend over and we'll show you.

John Walker: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that, Bishop!

Yelena Belova: She wasn't talking to you, Walker.

(John Walker pauses before he realizes, looking at Valentina)

Valentina Allegra de Fontaine:...

#yelena belova #Kate Bishop #john walker #valentina allegra de fontaine #incorrect yelena belova #incorrect kate bishop #incorrect john walker #u.s. agent #source: national lampoon's christmas vacation

[roguefankc]

(The Avengers and Thunderbolts are doing a news conference in public amid a cheering crowd. U.S. Agent unceremoniously nudges Kate Bishop aside as he steps forward to the flashing cameras and accolades)

John Walker: Move it, Discount Hawkeye. I want to make sure the reporters get me in the best possible light.

Kate Bishop: Then you better pray the room blows a fuse.

#source: mama's family #Kate Bishop #u.s. agent #incorrect kate bishop quotes #incorrect john walker quotes #hawkeye #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #thunderbolts

[roguefankc]

(Yelena Belova and John Walker are arguing about an upcoming mission)

Yelena Belova: I am NOT working with some two-bit, copycat-Avenger loser!

John Walker: Why not? (points at Kate Bishop) You sleep with one!

Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop:...

(John Walker is running away, dodging Kate’s arrows and Yelena’s bullets)

John Walker (laughing): So worth it.

(BONUS)

Nick Fury (on the phone with Valentina De Fontaine): Let me get this straight. They found urushiol inside U.S Agent’s suit? Especially around the crotch area? You’re asking if I have any idea who might have done it?

(Nick Fury glances at Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop who are quietly sipping coffee in the background)

#source: mama's family #kate bishop x yelena belova #incorrect kate bishop #incorrect yelena belova #incorrect john walker #Kate Bishop #yelena belova #john walker #nick fury #incorrect avengers #incorrect mcu quotes #bishova #innocent until proven guilty #john walker had it coming

[roguefankc]

General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross: Let me dumb it down so you three girls understand me. I’m General Thunderbolt Ross! And the Ross family motto is: “We see it, we want it, we get it”!

Cassie Lang: Well, the Avengers family motto is: “It sees us...”

Kate Bishop: “insults us...”

Yelena Belova: “...we kick its ass”.

#source: married with children #incorrect yelena belova #incorrect kate bishop quotes #incorrect cassie lang #incorrect marvel quotes #thaddeus ross #cassie lang #Kate Bishop #yelena belova #incorrect mcu quotes #general ross could try being less of a jerk

[roguefankc]

John Walker: Yelena Belova, great to meet you in person! Love your hair. Where’d you buy it?

Yelena Belova: Bought it off some whore. I think it was your mother.

#source: the oblongs #incorrect yelena belova quotes #incorrect yelena belova #incorrect john walker quotes #incorrect john walker #MCU #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect mcu quotes

[roguefankc]

John Walker (points at Kate Bishop and Yelena Belova): Hey, look, Thunderbolts!  It’s the discount Hawkeye and Black Widow!

Kate (sweetly with clenched teeth): Nice to meet you too, Mr. Walker.

Yelena: And likewise, we would call you a discount Captain America, but  discounts actually offer some value.

#incorrect yelena belova quotes #incorrect kate bishop quotes #Kate Bishop #yelena belova #john walker #u.s. agent #incorrect marvel quotes #insult kate and yelena at your own peril #incorrect mcu quotes #MCU

[roguefankc]

Kate: Look at the Thunderbolts team the Contessa is putting together!  Baron Zemo, Ghost, Taskmaster, even the Abomination!  If this group is supposed to be a replacement for the Avengers, then it will end up to be a miserable, little circus.

(John Walker/U.S. Agent walks by)

Yelena Belova: And what good would a circus be without a clown?

#source: somethingpositive #incorrect yelena belova #incorrect kate bishop #kate bishop #yelena belova #incorrect kate bishop quotes #incorrect yelena belova quotes #john walker #u.s. agent #incorrect mcu quotes

[roguefankc]

An anti-Sherlock fan posted that they think Batman is an “anti-hero at best” and that they wouldn’t trust their city to such a law-breaking vigilante.

Honestly, I don’t need that much negativity in my life...

#the batman #battison #bbc sherlock #batman is a hero #you want an anti-hero try Deadpool #I don't think they know the true meaning of that word

[roguefankc]

A wonderful commission from @anotherwellkeptsecret displaying a little future excerpt for my Deadpool/Sherlock crossover: Deadpool’s Bestest, Best Besties, (many thanks Kelley!) where Sally Donovan and Inspector Dimmock of Scotland Yard team up with the insufferable Deadpool of Marvel.

...it goes as well as you’d expect.

“Uh, Sally? Are you sure this is safe?” Dimmock asked warily. “Look, this was the only thing I could think of that could keep that nutcase busy and out from doing anything destructive or distracting! He’s just playing a bloody stupid card game! What possible damage could Deadpool do playing ‘Cards Against Humanity’ by himself?!” Sally demanded. (one Gilligan Cut later...) “All right, the good news is that the fire is now under control, only a few rooms were completely incinerated, and other than some cases of minor smoke inhalation, no one was seriously injured, and everyone managed to evacuate safely,” Dimmock stated. Sally Donovan acted like she didn’t hear as she wearily remained sitting on the pavement. Her clothes sooty and stained, Sally rested her elbows on her knees and clutched her forehead in an attempt to quell the immense migraine. In the background, the oblivious and carefree Deadpool was whistling a cheerful rendition of “Zippidy Doo Da” as he was toasting a chimichanga, a hot dog, a banana, a turkey leg, and an uncooked, unopened package of “Cup o’ Noodles”. On his katana sword. And using the flames that were currently engulfing the recently built Scotland Yard building. Amid a sea of annoyed and angry officers, civilians, reporters, and firemen. Sally's silence was the cue for Dimmock to continue... “The bad news is that the rooms that were destroyed by the fire were actually quite vital. Such as the cold case room…” Sally winced, remembering that a good number of their cold cases had physical reports on paper and other flammable evidence that was now as good as gone… “Lestrade’s office…” All right, that was bad, but Greg would be understanding. If he could forgive Sally for her role in Sherlock’s Fall, then he'd forgive her for this one… “The Chief Super’s office…” And that would explain why the Chief Superintendent, despite being filmed by numerous cameramen and reporters, was currently jumping up and down on the sidewalk, screaming an absolute fit and his entire face purple… “And due to sprinklers going off and the extensive water damage, we’ll have to move back to our old headquarters for an indefinite amount of time until the repairs and investigation is finished,” concluded Dimmock. Which meant that they would have to spend overtime moving their waterlogged computers and files and needing to get back on track with only half of their resources and security, and this entire disruption putting everyone off physically and mentally, and making the entirety of Scotland Yard a joke in front of hundreds of thousands of people that was most likely going to be in the news the very next hour… “I miss Sherlock…” Sally declared wearily. Dimmock actually paused and gave Sally Donovan a long look for several seconds before he then trusted himself to speak. “I’m sorry?” “Don’t make me repeat it, but I miss Sherlock Holmes,” Sally said, rubbing her face in her hands. There was another pause before Dimmock then called out to Inspector Hopkins. “Hey Stella!” Stella and a few officers looked up. “TIME! Sally just said she missed Sherlock! Who won the pool?!” “I’ll let you know when we can go back into the office!” called back Stella as a few officers groaned at the news. “You couldn’t have waited for one more day to toss up things with Deadpool, Donovan?!” whined one officer, “I lost five hundred quid!” “…I hate all of you,” Sally was all she could declare. Deadpool, who was happily chomping on the chimichanga he was roasting, offered out his katana blade to Sally. “Want my hot dog?” Deadpool asked innocently. Sally’s eye absolutely twitched…

#sherlock BBC #deadpool #sally donovan #inspector dimmock #CrossOver #anotherwellkeptsecret #commission