#this was so funny to me and not just watching that part reminded me when fra sent me a screenshot version of this
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The Nanny
Pairing: Rafe x Nanny Reader
Summary: Being Wheezie's nanny was great. The only downside was dealing with the oldest Cameron, Rafe. What happens when his fascination with the nanny becomes a reality?
Warnings: Angst, mention of drugs, sexual harassment (some creep tries to force themselves on reader), forced kiss (same creep with the reader), slight comfort?, (please be careful if you have any issues with sexual harassment it doesn't go far but I don't want anyone uncomfortable), (let me know if I missed anything), fighting
Wc: 7.0K
A/N: One more part to go! Sad to see it coming to an end but thank you for all of your support.
Chapter 8: What are we?
You just watch as Rafe leaves. A sinking feeling builds in your chest. It’s like when you’re on a rollercoaster and you get to the really big drop. You always hated that part of the ride, somehow this feeling tops it. Fighting back the tears you walk to your room. Wheezie can wait until the morning, right now you just need to go to bed. You try to calm your breath the whole walk to your room. Scared if you made too much noise someone will hear.
Entering your room you finally let the tears go, finding solace within the four walls. The tears well onto your lashes, falling down in fat drops. Choked sobs echoing inside the silent room.You furiously try to wipe them away, hating how small you feel at this moment. This isn’t what you wanted. Deep down a part of you wanted him to fight for you. Seeing him give up so easily just adds salt to the gaping wound.
You strip from your clothes, throwing on a pair of sleep shorts and stopping when you reach for a shirt Rafe left. A part of your brain is screaming to find another shirt, the other is dying to have at least one last piece of him. Against your better judgment you grab the shirt and put it on. It faintly smells like him, another reminder how you truly thought he cared. The birthday cologne smelt slightly more bitter than it did before. But it was still him.
You turn to your bed, the sage green sheets lay perfectly flat, a bouquet of flowers on top. Walking closer you notice that they are white roses, your favorite. There’s a little note tied on the string that holds them all together. You pick them, opening the card to read it. I’m sorry Sunny. I fucked up but I can’t lose you. Please let’s just talk it out. I miss you. -R
The note makes you sob harder. He knew your favorite flower and he wanted to work things out. If you had just seen this before interrupting maybe things would be different. Maybe he would be he instead of walking away. Why would he remember your favorite flower? You barely even remember when you mentioned it around him.
“What are you doing?” The voice behind you makes you jump. The rose in your hand flies as you grip the scissors tighter. You turn your head to see Rafe leaning back on the kitchen counter. “Jesus Rafe you can’t do that. You scared the crap out of me.” You lean on the kitchen sink, regulating your heartbeat back to normal. He chuckles a little, a small smile spreading on his lips.
“Sorry didn’t mean to scare ya. Just saw you standing there and was curious.” He eyes your ass getting a perfect view from his spot behind you. “I’m cutting the stems of these roses.” “What Rose wants to be in every part of this house now?” He thinks he’s funny but he’s not. “No smartass. They are my favorite flowers, specifically the white ones.” You got back to cutting the stems, picking up flower to flower.
He sits there and watches and you finish the rest of the flowers. “Kinda seems corny doesn’t it? Like every chick likes roses it's never another flower.” Rafe remarks. Teasing you for the choice. “Well I like them because of my grandma. She used to get fresh bach every week and put them around the house. I get them because they remind me of her.” That’s the most you’ve shared about her since she died.
She was kind of the glue that held the family together. She always knew how to make everyone laugh. Always made you feel safe and welcomed. Your parents weren't that bad when you were growing up at first. They loved you so much as a baby, couldn’t have been prouder. Then the older you got the more money they had to spend. The more time they had to put into you and not them. It seemed the older you got the more problems they had. The more pressure they would put on you to be better.
Your grandma did a great job at shielding it from you for as long as she could. The flowers were the thing the two of you shared. Spending time picking out the right ones just to go home and build a bouquet. It was the highlight of your weeks and after she died it was over. You held on to the last bouquet until all the petals were left to nothing. Rotting on your dresser, burning holes into the wood to leave their marks. No bouquet felt the same after but it brought you comfort.
“Remind you?” Rafe questions. “She died when I was eight. I make bouquets to feel connected to her.” He just looks at you as you fill the vase with water, adding the roses one by one. He remembers watching his mom arrange flowers for the house. She would bring him along as she picked out various flowers. Always asking him for his input because he was her special helper. It was their special day activity, Ward would get upset at the sight of Rafe helping out. His mother would go to his defense, nipping Ward’s words in the butt the moment they exit his mouth.
It hurt to remember his mom, the memory causing more heartache than anything. The image of his happy mom crushed when he realizes she’s gone. Left him behind with a man that hates him. In a town where no one will ever care for him. But then he watches you do a simple action that brings her back. It hurts but he can’t help but smile watching you. “I’m sorry. I bet it was hard losing her. They look good, she’d be proud.”
You look him in the eyes, a soft smile gracing your face. Rafe can’t help but to think how beautiful you look. “Thank you. That was very sweet of you Rafe.” You praise. He blushes, straightening up and walking off. “WHatever don’t tell everyone now.” You laugh at him. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
The memory makes the feeling worse. He had remembered that conversation this whole time. It had happened early on to you working here, one of the first few meetings with the oldest sibling. You thought he was just being polite because you were new and you just told him something sad. But he still had that information stored away in some filing cabinet in his mind. The fact he still knew makes you want to find him and forgive him. Then you think about the fact he gave up.
You can’t really fault him, he has a right to do what he wants. Yet it still stings that you weren’t enough for him the first time and you weren’t enough for him this time. You place the flowers on the bedside table. Pulling the covers back you climb into bed, curling up into a ball and going yourself to sleep for the second night in a row.
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The sound of voices stir you slowly awake. “Come on, leave her alone.” A hushed voice breaks through the door. “I want to know what happened last night. She never came to tell me.” Wheezie’s hush whispers fully wake you up. “No, let's go.” Sarah’s voice firmly states, footsteps fading down the hall. The room is bright, the curtains are fully open, you must have forgotten to close them last night. The light is harsh on your eyes, they still sting from crying the night before.
Everything keeps replaying in your mind. Memories creating a slow motion picture just for you. They are on a continuous loop as you get ready for the day. Your mind keeps going back to what Wheezie said to you yesterday. Would you be okay if you saw him with someone else? No you wouldn’t, seeing him with Sofia was hard enough. You don’t think you would be able to handle it further.
That realization brings you back to the flowers and the note. He has kept the memory with him since that day. Rafe wanted to make it up with you and showed you that he does care about you. He used the memory to do something that would make you happy, even if he caused you pain. The note made it obvious he wanted to work things out, maybe you should have listened to him. He didn’t actually have any reason to stay loyal to you, no conversation was had for the next step to happen.
Once you are finally dressed you slip on your shoes determined to find Rafe. You look around the hall when you step out, not wanting to run into anyone and change your mind. You make your way to his door and knock. Butterflies fill your abdomen, the nervous feeling eating you from the inside out. “Rafe?” You call out, keeping your voice low. Your right hand opens the door and you are faced with an empty room. The room is still a mess, things littered everywhere, a perfect match to him.
Sighing you close the door again, heading downstairs to get some breakfast. Voices can be heard from the kitchen, they aren’t loud so it’s hard to make anything out. Entering the kitchen you see Rafe talking with Sarah and Barry just sitting at the island. “He shouldn’t be here Rafe. Dad will flip out.” Sarah argues with her brother. “He already doesn’t like me, why should I care?” He huffs out and turns around, pausing when he sees you at the door. Barry and Sarah to look at what caught his attention.
“Well hello baby. Thought I would never see you again.” Barry’s voice rings in your ears but you can only focus on Rafe. “Hi.” You squeak, your voice giving away how nervous you are to see him. His jaw is clench, his hands forming fists as he looks at the man staring you down. “Let’s go Barry. We got shit to do.” He says pushing the other guy's shoulder as he passes him. Rafe gives you a nod as he walks by you and leaves. Barry tsk’s as he gets up making his way out as well. “That boy never learns does he?”
You just stand there, eyes glancing at Sarah. “I’m sorry I didn’t think you would be up right now after last night.” You smile at her and go in further to make food. “It’s fine. He already said he was going to leave me alone from now on. I just didn’t take him seriously.” Boiling water, you get the oats out of the cabinet, oatmeal was the fastest thing you could think of. “Wait what?” Sarah exclaims. Her shocked face staring at the back of your head.
You know she won’t leave you alone for the rest of the day. You have picked up on a few things over this past year. Never interrupt Ward when he is in meetings or talking in general. Rose really does care but the kids will never respect her so she lets them be. Rafe has been hurt for so long that he refuses to be himself now. Even though Sarah and Wheezie are different people they have the same personality trait. They care so much that they don’t know when to call it quits. Granted Sarah is better at keeping it at bay than Wheeze.
Knowing this and knowing how she feels about her brother you give in. You spilled and told her everything. How Wheezie accidentally was the reason why Ward knows what happened. How Ward was yelling at Rafe and how you stepped in. Then told her about the argument between the two of you. Finally leading to him saying he will leave you alone from now on. The whole conversation lasted all of breakfast, the oatmeal you made for the two of you long gone.
“I can’t believe that he just walked away like that. He was the one to mess up, he can't be mad.” She’s saying things you’ve already said to yourself. He did mess up and he shouldn’t be mad. But another part knows that you hurt him too in some way. You shut him out when he wanted to fix things. You ignored him and refused to talk. In the end you did the same thing he did, you didn’t communicate with him how you felt. “It’s not that simple, Sar. He hurt me yeah but I also shut him out. I’m sure that had to hurt him too, I can’t expect him to wait around for me.” You are trying to be reasonable. This is her brother you are talking about, you don’t want to be the reason why they are not on good terms. Things just started to die down between them.
“But it is simple. He messed up by kissing another girl and all you did was get space from him. He decided to just give up without much of a fight.” Her words force you to think back to when he was crying. Pleading with you to give him a second chance, just to hear him out. “He did try. I just didn’t give him the chance and it’s okay. He’s hurt and he needs his space too. I can’t get upset with him for doing the same.” Deep down you know you have a point. He is hurt and needs time which is what you did. It just hurts that when you figured out how you felt it was too late.
“Why are you defending him so much? I get that you liked him but he hurt you.” You are quiet, looking at your bowl. “Do you still like him?” She asks, watching your reactions. When she doesn’t get an answer she realizes it was deeper than what she thought. “Oh.” You both sit there, the weight of your unspoken words heavy in the air. “We never said we were exclusive. It was never something we talked about so he really didn’t do anything wrong. I just can’t hate him.”
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The thrap of the tennis ball takes you out of your daydream. Wheezie had dragged you out to the country club for a round of tennis, stating it would help you feel better. It was sweet of her for caring but the exercise was not welcomed. You would rather be enjoying the day reading then out on the court hitting a ball back and forth. “How many points is that?” She asks, a smile bright on her face. “6-2 I think.” You respond. You bounce the ball a few times before throwing it up and hitting it to her.
The rest of the morning was uneventful after your talk with Sarah. She tried to talk to you more about how you should be upset but it got nowhere. Once Wheezie popped into the kitchen the conversation died and it was over with. You were relieved when Wheezie didn’t mention Rafe at all after. Even happier when all she wanted to do was go out. That soon faded when she said she wanted to play tennis. It was just an excuse to see the cute tennis instructor that just started there.
Everything was going well until you were both leaving. You were stepping off the court when a golf cart blew past you. “Watch it, asshole.” Wheezie yells causing the cart to stop. The boys inside it all turn around and low and behold there’s Rafe with some guy you’ve never seen. “Watch it, Wheeze. Next time you might get run over.” The boy next to him chuckles. “Yeah, stay out of the way.” Rafe shoots him a look and the boy quiets down. “Oh please like you are so scary. Stop driving like a maniac and be normal.”
Rafe looks at you, eyes lingering for a little longer than needed. You smile at him, opening your mouth to greet him. He turns away before the words could escape. The cart drives off again leaving the two of you alone. He was really taking this leaving you alone seriously. You had hoped that he would be able to talk to you or be civil at least. You miss his voice, his smile, you miss him. Standing there you both just watch them drive off, walking to the building to get changed into clothes.
Wheezie wants to comment on how Rafe didn’t say anything to you. Noticing the look on your face as he ignored you. There’s a nagging in the back of her brain to ask you about last night. Her anxiety is getting the best of her, she’s scared that Rafe hates her. She has seen him get really angry and as much as she isn’t afraid of him, she still doesn’t like it. Wheezie doesn’t want to be the reason why her brother is angry at their father or at you.
“What should we watch tonight? I saw 10 Things I Hate about You the other day while scrolling and I’ve been wanting to watch it. What do you think?” You ask the younger girl as you walk the halls to the changing rooms. Wheezie clams up, her anxiety increases a bit more as she tries to think of an excuse. She needs this to go perfectly, nothing can get messed up. “Can we watch it as soon as we get home? My friends and I are having a Netflix watch party tonight.”
“That’s fine. We can get some dinner and then watch it. How does that sound?” You ask while getting your clothes from the locker you put it in. “That’s perfect.” Wheezie wasn’t lying it was perfect. She needed you to be happy and complacent for the time being. She knows that you might be a little angry with her by tomorrow so she wants to butter you up while she has the chance.
You both got changed and packed up the rest of your things. You are trying hard not to think about Rafe but are failing. Would he still want a second chance if you gave it to him? Yes is the first answer that pops into your brain. Then you think about how he’s ignoring you and that changes. He seems to have no problems pretending you don’t exist, maybe he doesn’t actually want you. Maybe the roses and letter was a ploy to get in your bed again. Yeah that was it.
Snapping out of your thoughts, you have Wheezie order some food. Getting into the car you drive to pick it up before going home. The house is quiet, no one seems to be home besides Sarah. “Hey guys.” Sarah shifts her eyes back to the book in her hands. “Hey! We are going to watch a movie. Want to join?” You ask as you make your way to the living room to settle down. “What movie?” “10 Things I Hate about You.” Wheezie answers. “You had me at Heath Ledger let’s go.” Sarah bolts up, the book forgotten as it flies in the air.
The three of you all get comfortable and queue the movie up. You all just sit in silence, eating and enjoying the movie. Once the food is finished , everyone relaxes back. Only really speaking to comment on the movie. “Uh, I wish he would sing for me.” Sarah dreams out loud. You chuckle at her, nudging her thigh with your foot. “Want me to tell John B to serenade you?” Wheezie laughs at your teasing. “Oh my god. I would pay to see that.”
You honestly can’t help but see the irony of watching this movie. Boy pretends to be into the girl only for her to find out it was all a lie. She tries to hate him but can never seem to, only to find each other in the end. But this isn’t a movie. Clearly Rafe is content with having you out of his life. There won’t be some big confession that absolves him of all his mistakes. He’s too proud to let anyone see how he feels. Maybe this wasn’t the best choice of movie.
Some masochistic part of you wants to feel the pain of watching something that will never happen. To soak in that feeling just to spite yourself. If the girls weren’t here you would probably be crying right now. Mourning the what if’s that plague your mind. It isn’t fair to do this to yourself and you know that. You just can’t seem to help yourself from finding comfort in your own pain. So used to the feeling that anything else seems foreign.
The rest of the movie plays out. Patrick and Kat just made up and are now kissing. Every muscle in your body feels heavy. The weight of the situation pulls you down further into the couch cushions. The credits start to roll and the girls are stretching. “Okay I’m going to my room now.” Wheezie gets up to leave. “Already? It’s still early.” Sarah questions. “Yeah I’m doing a watch party with some friends.” Wheezie shrugs trying to walk fast out the room. Sarah squints her eyes at her younger sister and watches as she leaves.
“Doesn’t she usually stick to you like glue until she goes to bed?” Sarah asks you. She finds it weird that she randomly watches parties with friends. She looks at you when you don’t answer. You were still stuck in your head that it took you a while to process what happened and Sarah’s words. “Um yeah sometimes. It’s good that she’s hanging out with friends. I’m not always going to be her nanny.” That’s when it hit you, this job isn’t forever. There’s no reason for any of them to stay in contact with you after Wheezie gets old enough. The girls would most likely stay in touch you know that. But you won’t be forced around Rafe anymore, maybe that’s a good thing.
“What are you even talking about?” She laughs. “You will always be a part of this family. At least you will be with Wheeze and I. You can’t get rid of us that easily.” She smiles at you. It makes you feel better having that reassurance. Even in the end you will still have them. “I think I’m going to go to my room and read. If you want to hang out or need me just come in.” You tell her. There’s a book on your night stand that you want to finish.
You must have been reading for an hour or two when Sarah bursted into your bedroom. “Is Wheezie in here with you?” She asks. You look up from the book, your face scrunching in confusion. “No, why?” Her face seems worried which only intensifies when she realizes Wheezie isn’t here either. “She’s not in her room and I can’t find her around the house. I wanted my sweater back and she was just gone.” Worry starts to gnaw at you. She has to be here somewhere, she couldn’t have just disappeared.
“Hold on. She has to be here somewhere. I’m just going to call her.” You place your book down and grab your phone. You dial her number and it rings. Sarah just stares waiting to see what happens. She didn’t answer. “Nothing.” You say. Sarah sighs not knowing what to do. “Let me track her phone.” Sarah gives you a bewildered look. “You track us?” She practically yells. “No. Your dad put it on Wheezie’s phone and I just have access to it. I never use it but this is kinda important.”
The app shows Wheezie at a house not too far from Tanny Hill. “She’s at a house. It’s close to here.” You get up putting your shoes on and grabbing your keys. “I think she’s at Trevor’s party. The one she was talking about yesterday.” Crap. Of course, that’s why she had a watch party. She just wanted me to leave her alone so she could sneak off.
The car ride to the party was tense. You were so upset and worried. She went behind your back and put herself at risk to go to this party. No one knew where she was and something could have happened to her. Oh god what if something did happen? She is still young and people like to take advantage of that. This situation is setting panic alarms in your mind. You just hope Ward doesn’t find out because the Rafe situation can be forgiven. Letting his teen daughter go to a party and get drunk might be his last straw.
Loud music is blasting as you pull into the street. There are people everywhere and the feeling of dread increases. It’s going to take forever to find her here. Not only that, you know Rafe is around. There’s no way that he would miss the opportunity to sell and take drugs. Walking into the house was a hassle, people kept blocking the way. Drinks are being spilled on you, soaking your shoes in the process. This is the one thing you hate about parties, they are always a mess. People get too drunk and throw up everywhere. Others start fights or spend the night taking copious amounts of drugs. You don’t judge them, it's just not something you enjoy.
“We should split up. I’ll call you if I find her.” Sarah yells over the music. “Sounds good.” You head towards the stairs to check up stairs. The stairs are littered with cups making the floors sticky. Most of the doors are closed so you have to open each one. You found a couple in one room, the rest being empty or locked. Laughter fills your ears from the other end of the hall. Walking over you see a group of guys all sitting around.
Looking closer you can see that they are doing line and in the middle of all of them was Rafe. Barry was sitting next to him chatting up a customer trying to upsell. A girl enters your view and you watch as she walks over to Rafe. She leans down and whispers in her ear and rests her hand on his shoulder. You watch as he smiles up at her, shaking a little bag in her face. He turns to make a line for her on the table and he catches your eyes.
He freezes, the card in his hand stalling. He picks up his actions when the girl whispers to him again. She makes her way onto his lap and that’s when you look away. Heading back down the stairs, missing how he pushed her off his lap and shot up. How he looked for you but you were already gone.
You keep looking around the house. Stopping into every room to check them. The next thirty minutes were spent searching the house. You kept coming up short which was freaking you out even more. You look at the app again and can see that she is still in the house. She’s here somewhere but you just can’t seem to figure out where. Your phone starts to ring in your pocket. “Hello?” You answer
“I found her. I’m bringing her to the car so we can leave.” Sarah tells you. Relief floods through your system. “Okay I’ll meet the two of you there.” She hangs up. Knowing that Wheezie is safe now you are ready to leave. You walk through the living room, eyes trained on the front door next to the kitchen. A body blocks you as you get right outside the living room. “Hey.” Some random guy says.
“Uh hey?” You say wearily. You are a little weirded out. You have never seen this guy before and he keeps blocking you as you try to get around him. “You’re that nanny for Rafe’s little sister right?” He asks. “Yeah.” He nods at you. His hands are in his pockets, he looks a little awkward like this. He takes a step closer to you, your body backing up closer to the wall. “Sorry for what he did to you. Think he’s kinda stupid for letting a girl like you go.” He says.
As if his words would make you feel better about what happened. “Thanks. I have to go now.” You try to step around him again and his arm lands on the wall, blocking you. This is starting to get more uncomfortable by the minute. “Hey I’m just trying to talk to you. I think you’re really pretty. We can just have some fun.” He tries to ration with you. “I’m good, I really just want to go. I have to get back to Wheezie.” You try to push him off you but he just gets a little closer.
His breath fans against your neck as you squirm away from him. One of his hands grabs your bicep, keeping you still. “Come one don’t be like that. I just want to get to know you. I think we could really like each other.” His body is now pressed up to you. You can feel how hard he is through his pants. It's disgusting. Your hand raises to his chest trying to push him off. It only makes it worse, in lips kissing your neck.
From the kitchen Rafe has been watching the whole interaction. Watching as he hit on you and how you stood there. He watches as his hands are touching you, his lips kissing the same skin his own lips touched. He was angry. Angry at himself for fucking this up, angry at his dad for being the reason he’s like this, mostly mad at you for moving on right in front of him. He was just filled with anger.
It didn’t help that he was so high and coked out that the feeling was ten fold. He had spent all day yesterday and today taking bump after bump. Smoking the day away and drinking. There’s so much in his system that he’s surprised he’s even standing. No matter how much he takes you are always still there. There in his home, at the country club and now here. He can handle seeing you, not really but he could manage. But he can’t stand there and watch as you are with someone else. His breaking point is when the guy kisses you.
He doesn’t know what he’s doing. One moment he was just watching you, hating his life. Now he’s marching over to drag you out of here and yell at you. You can’t just rub it in his face how little he means to you. He was about to call you out when he heard you speak. “Get off of me.” It’s like a switch flipped. He is now paying attention to your body language. Rafe sees her hands trying to push his chest. How the guy keeps grabbing them to bring them down to his pants. “Just shut up and stay still.”
That was Rafe’s breaking point. He grabs the guy from the back of his shirt, throwing him to the ground. You watch in horror as the guy hits the floor in a hard thump. Rafe’s fist meets the guy's face in an instant. You stand there as his body holds the guy down and he keeps hitting him. Everyone is yelling in horror, telling Rafe to stop. “What is wrong with you? She told you to get off her.” Rafe yells.
His voice snaps you out of it. The guy is trying to block Rafe’s hits but he can’t do much in his position. Rafe has him trapped on the floor. “Rafe stop, let him go.” You yell. You really don’t want to be the reason that he got into a fight. It’s bad enough that his dad yelled at him over you.
Topper and Kelce run over, dragging Rafe off of the poor guy. “Fucking touch her again and I swear I’ll kill you. I won’t hesitate if I see you near her again.” Rafe screams as his friends drag him away. You look at the guy on the floor, he just lays there as people try to check on him. “God he’s such a psycho. Who just attacks a random guy.” Someone says as they pull out their phone to call the cops. “Maybe he shouldn’t be such a creep forcing himself onto people.” You say without thinking. Heads turn to look at you in confusion. Some people connect the dots as to what happened. “DId he try to..” You walk away before people can ask questions.
You find Rafe outside, pacing in circles as he yells at his friends. “Why would you pull me off? FUcking asshole deserved it. He’s lucking I didn’t fucking kill him.” The boys just look at him with worried looks. “You can’t just say you are going to kill people Rafe.” Topper tries to reason but it falls on deaf ears. “Nah I mean it. He was going to hurt her and I wanted to kill him. I would do it to anyone who even thinks about touching her.” The boys don’t know what to say. Rafe is like a ticking bomb when he’s like this.
“Rafe.” Your voice calms him, he turns to you. “Are you okay?” He rushes to you. Examining you to make sure that creep didn’t harm you in any way. “I’m fine. Thank you.” You don’t know what else to say. He helped you out back there and you are grateful. “I swear if he hurt you I’m going back in there and killing him. DOn’t care if they arrest me.” He’s being irrational. “Hey, just calm down. Everything is fine now. You made it okay.” He pauses, your words sinking in. He made it okay.
He was the one who helped you, the one that saved you. He reaches out to you, caressing your check. Relishing the feeling of you leaning into his touch. “You should go home.” He whispers. Your eyes open and meet his. Their red and his pupils are dilated. “Come with me.” He looks at you, debating if it’s a good idea. “I can’t. I said I would leave you alone, so I can’t.” He takes his hand off your face, about to back away from you but you stopped him.
“I want you to come with me, please. You can’t drive like this.” He gave in, no fighting was needed. You want him and that’s all he needs to know. He steps closer, walking side by side to your car. He sees Wheezie and Sarah in it. “What are they doing here?” He asks you. “Wheeze snuck off to the party. We came to get her and when I was leaving well.” You look back at the house and at him. “Well you know.”
He nods at you, not saying another word as you get into the car and drive off. The car ride was filled with you and Sarah lecturing Wheezie on how dangerous this was. That if something happened to her and no one knew where she was it could end badly. Rafe tenses at this thought. He was so coked out he didn’t realize his own sister was at the party. You were right she could have been hurt. Look at what happened to you, the same could have happened to Wheezie.
He’s on autopilot as he walks into the house and up the stairs. Your conversation plays in the background in his mind. He enters his room shutting the door but not noticing how it doesn’t click shut until a moment later. “Are you okay?” Rafe turns to see you in front of the door. “Yeah, I just want to get to bed.” What he really wants is to take another line and sleep the thoughts away.
“I just wanted to say thank you again for helping me today.” You shift your eyes from him. “No problem. Didn’t want you to get hurt.” He sits on the edge of his bed, folding his hands and looking at them. “That’s all? I got the flowers you gave me.” you take a step closer, wanting to be near him. You want to fix this, tonight made you realize he does care.
“Oh yeah. You can just forget about them. Don’t know why I even got them in the first place.” Your smile fades, the small flame of hope flickers out. “So that note was for nothing?” He doesn’t say anything. Guess you finally got your answer, it's over. “Don’t know why I even tried talking to you. You don’t care.” You go to leave the room. “Don’t leave.” He calls out.
Your hand is still on the door knob, one twist and you’ll be free. “Why? There’s nothing to stay for.” You hear him grunt, the bed squeaking under him. “Do you think I want to be like this? I can’t stand myself. I’m a fuck up, everyone knows it. For fucks sake my own father hates me.” He gets up, adrenaline coursing through him.
“I wish I could be normal. That I was enough of a man to be worthy of anything. I’m just a failure at everything so no point in pulling you down with me.” His eyes are collecting tears. His breath came in short bursts. “That’s the drugs talking. You are normal Rafe.” He scoffs at you. “No, the drugs just make it easier to swallow that pill.” He laughs out.
“I know what everyone says about me, I’m not stupid. Ever since my mom died I was some monster. No one wanted to be around me and I just kept acting up. I know I’m not worth anything, then there you were. My own personal sunshine. For a second I was able to forget who I was. I was someone else and didn't have to worry about the rumors that go around. Guess I forgot I don’t deserve good things.”
He’s laughing but you can hear the hurt in his voice. Tears fill your eyes at the thought of him feeling so worthless. “You do deserve good things.” “Look at what that got us. I fucked it up and you don’t even want me around. I get it, don't get me wrong but it sucks. I didn’t think you meant anything, the little voice in my head saying I was a fool for wanting to be with you. I let it get to me and now whatever we were is gone.”
A tear falls down his cheek. “I lost the last good thing that ever happened to me. You know you’re the only person that cared about me. It’s funny not even my own family likes me but you did. You were a breath of fresh air, the sunny day after a storm. I finally had you and I couldn’t even keep that. So no, I don't deserve good things.” His voice raises. A hollow feeling in his chest, he wishes it was a blackhole ready to swallow him up.
“Is that why you call me Sunny?” The nickname starts to make sense to you now. “Yeah, you’re this bright light that took everything away.” He sits down on the bed again, looking at the sun necklace laying on his table. He picks it up, playing with the gem between his fingers. “My Sunny. So beautiful it hurts. I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up. Wish I was different, maybe then we would actually be together.”
Your breath hitches, was this just the drugs? He did say that it just made it easier to handle how he feels. “I don’t want you to be different.” You stroll over to him, stepping between his legs. You grab his head in your hands so he can look you in the face. “I just wanted you to be you. I like who Rafe Cameron is. Why would I want you to be anyone different?” His eyes are shiny, glossed over with the tears that keep falling.
“It doesn’t matter now right? It’s too late.” His hand wraps around your wrist. “We can talk about this tomorrow. You should get some sleep, we’ll talk when you have a clearer mind.” You go to leave the room but he stops you. “Stay. Don’t leave me.” His eyes are pleading with you. “Okay.”
You take off your shoes as he gets up. He hands you a change of clothes and he strips from his, laying in his bed waiting for you. You don’t know whether to change here or go into his bathroom. His eyes are are staring at you and you decide fuck it. He divulged how he felt, you can give in for at least this. You change into the shirt he gave you, leaving the pants to the side and get into bed. His fist still holds the necklace, you take his hand. The piece of jewelry moving to you.
You look at it, mixed emotions fill you. The happiness when you first got it, how you thought it was a step further in the relationship. The sadness of when you found him at the bonfire. The confusion you feel at this moment. You forgive him. You want to get past this and it seems like he does too. There’s still this fear in the back of your mind.
He traces your facial features with a light touch, scooting closer to your body. You are both on your sides facing each other. His eyes are drooping, sleep knocking on his door. Slowly fading his consciousness as he fights it off to have one more minute with you. “I think I’ll always be in love with you.” His words are softly whispered between you two.
Your mind short circuits. He said he was in love with you. There’s no way he actually said that. His hand lays motionless on your side, the sandman claiming him as his next victim. You look at him and then the necklace once again. Shifting slightly as to not wake him, you put the necklace back on. You move closer to him, touching his jaw. Letting sleep take you with it. “I’ll always be in love with you too.”
#rafe x reader#rafe cameron#rafe obx#obx#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe outer banks#rafe x nannyreader
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Hello!!
I'm back to crack posting about my favourite shows and/or characters! =D
We Are ep 8 was gold. It had comedy, friendship, silliness and romance in the absolute perfect amounts.
Warning: long post 😊😅
This scene with Peem and Matt is peak comedy. I rewatched it so many times hehe
Phum: I'm gonna ignore every inch of space to stand right beside you. <3
Peem: *bombastic side eye*
Also Peem: *leans into him*
Khaofang woke up today and chose violence 😭👍🏼
Let's be honest though, that was not the sibling we'd expected to throw fists.
Meanwhile, Toey: that's my hia Fang 😊
Isn't that the million dollar question Mick 😭
If they got together already, how would the series run for 16 eps 😭
Toey with his hias ^ (also Matt edging him on like he's in a competition I'm dying 😭)
Toey with his P'Q:
However savage Q may be, he still shares the same braincell with his friends 😭👍🏼
IT WAS SO MEAN OF THEM TO MAKE MATT PAY WHEN THEY'VE HARDLY EVEN TAKEN A SIP! T-T
Peem before, when Phum even touched him: LET GO YOU ASSHOLE
Peem now: *fond, indulging smile* what do you want to do?
*shakes head with a sigh* boys in love ay
The motorcycle 'hold me tightly' trope being reused with a bicycle aka how to make them sit even closer
Peem saying so-so when Phum asks if he looks handsome: Peem, babe, you were the one who called him handsome first remember? 😭
What secretly. Phum was about as subtle as football directly hitting your painting (yes I think I'm very funny).
With all due respect, please get the f out and let my boys be. Please and thank you. :)
^This is the answer to any question about Pun. 😭👍🏼
This scene is so, so beautiful. I am absolutely loving how they’re giving friendship/platonic love as much importance as romantic love because yes. I've been waiting for a bl like this forever (or at least since I got into bls hehe-). Bad Buddy and MSP came close, but We Are took the trophy. They love each other so much. Kill for each other? Nah, they'd go together and make that person's life living hell, and that would make my day.
I really really love that they're still so silly with each other in college, and are close to and comfortable enough with each other to be able to be childish and play in the middle of the day, to be each other's safe space.
This friendship is so precious and close to my heart. Even more than the romantic parts of the story, this is what makes me want to watch this series every week to see what new shenanigans they've got up to.
I love them. So much.
Beer is me, I am Beer.
Smiling at them so softly. Oh, he knows. And he ships. 👍🏼
This scene was also so beautiful.
They've finally started acknowledging that there's something between them.
I think more than Phum being unable to express himself, he's taking small steps to guage how Peem reacts. He wants them to be on the same page before he takes the next step.
Like with the kiss, he didn't hesitate to talk about it, to tell how much it means to him and then kiss Peem again. But he waited until Peem kissed him first, and till he was sure that Peem wanted to talk about it.
I really like this about him. He's not taking a step back per se, just making sure that when he takes a step forward, he's not leaving Peem one step behind.
Phum explains again and again how Peem is his safe space (his dialogues this time reminding us of Peem's little speech to his own friends and Fang talking about why he likes Tan with Phum), to make sure Peem knows.
It's already been told to us how alone he's been most of his life, so Peem and his ragtag group of friends is very new for him, but it's fun, and it not only brings him closer to Peem but also a friend group - a support system he didn't really have before. Sure, he has Fang, Beer and Mick, and Tan, but it's nothing like this silly little group that puts paint on each other then plays with water and gets almost black out drunk on a regular basis.
Also, did anyone else notice the two matching rainbow coloured jars behind Peem here? No? 👀
Simp. (affectionate)
I always love these call scenes where one of them somehow travels through his cell phone to land in the other's bed hehe
Peem is so done with Phum and his branded fashion outfits 😭😭
"You were born in Thailand."
Pond and the "I'm Thai" meme 😭
wait.
A bl lead realising he likes someone (his romantic interest) all on his lonesome??
Colour me surprised!
I actually didn't think I'd get to see this happen ever in a Thai bl, but good for him lol
So that's that for this week! If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊
Here, have a bubble tea 🧋
#we are#we are the series#we are series#thai bl#watching bls: we are#let's talk bl#phumpeem#tanfang#qtoey#chainpun
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Im glad I didn't give up and not watch that livestream. It was very nice to see it live and watch the chat go bonkers in real time
Josh munchin n crunchin on snacks
The little goofs n gaffs
THE FUCKING FOREST FIC REFERENCES. I almost lost it when they cut back to them after playing Navigating and Josh wasn't there. Golden moment!
Mark was so funny, he needs more love. Shout out Mark, your just as much a part of this as the boys are. Love you, man 💜
Curse my auditory sensory issues and sleep deprived mind, I had a hard time hearing the lyrics, so today is relisten with lyrics in front of me day. But what I got, I fully enjoyed
I loved the music videos. I think the lower budget ones may be my favorite. There is something so personal and down to earth seeing a literal Grammy Award winning, sells-out-stadiums band just going out onto a frozen lake, a snowy field, a forest, and a small midwestern town with a camera and small crew, DIYing music videos as if they're just starting out. They don't need to be reminded of where they started. They don't need to be reminded of their roots. They never left them. And that's amazing. It hit me when I saw the music video for Snap Back. It's just... Tyler n Mark in a garage. They continue to bring back the old iconic scenes like shaving his head each era in a mv. It warms my heart.
God I had so much more I wanted to say but im still so tired and I fruckin hurt so im gunna just rb other ppls thoughts for a while n head back to bed. Ill gush more in the rb tags yall.
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Before You Go Performing (2): Rosie Rosenthal x OC
summary: Billie tries to work through some insecurities and Rosie is an absolute gentleman about it. Also Crosby turns out to be a good friend when things go down at the pub.
word count: 11.8k
read on ao3
part one
Billie felt like she was on top of the world with Rosie escorting her back home to her hut like something out of a romantic movie. The pair were walking slowly and a brief moment of comfortable silence had come over them. Billie couldn’t help but look out at the sun beginning to set over the trees and she smiled at the sight. Billie had long loved a good sunset and now that she was thousands of miles away from home she appreciated them even more. Even though no two sunsets were the same each reminded Billie of the red and white big top with the lights around beginning to glow. She could almost smell the popcorn and hear laughter in the air as the sky was starting to shift into something both purple and orange.
Growing up in the circus a lot of what seemed magical to others was her mundane. But she always felt the magic in the sunsets before the last show of the day. Watching the sunset had been a part of her superstition filled warm up routine on the nights she got to perform. She found it funny that she used to feel such potential in a sunset while lately she found it in the sunrise. But it was easy to find the beauty in anything with Rosie by her side. The past week with Rosie had been an absolute dream and Billie had trouble falling asleep each night, afraid that when she woke up she’d find it had been just that, a dream.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come out with me tonight? I’d make sure you have a good time.” Rosie asked, drawing Billie’s attention away from thinking about sunsets.
“I always have a good time when I’m with you.” Billie answered with a smile. She received one in return.
“So then why don’t you come?” He asked.
“I told you.” She squeezed his hand quickly and resisted the urge to pull him in for a hug. There were too many people around for that. “I have a headache building and being around all the noise and people in the officer’s club sounds like a nightmare. I need a quiet night. I just need to curl up with my book and turn in early.”
“I want to hear your thoughts when you finish the chapter. You’re going to have a lot to say, I can’t wait.” Rosie said.
“If I can finish. You know how slow I go.” Billie teased herself.
“You’ll finish just fine, don’t worry. There’s no rush.” Rosie reassured her.
Billie couldn’t help but think he was wrong. Of course there was a rush. They rarely talked about it but Rosie could be lost just like that. Ever since this thing had first started between Billie and Rosie it was like Billie had been living in limbo. She’d never had to live like this, with her heart on the line almost every day. It’d been an adjustment over the past week getting used to the life of having her heart wrapped up in a pilot. Despite being such a positive person the reality hung so heavy Billie couldn’t ignore it. She had a lifetime of experience masking any of her emotions so she didn’t think Rosie had picked up on it quite yet, but she knew it was only a matter of time until he brought up the future. And once they talked about the future they would have to acknowledge all of the possibilities.
A part of her knew they needed to have that sort of conversation but she was also terrified of solidifying what was developing between them. Rosie had changed her world with just one look but she hadn’t figured out what that meant for her future. Even though being around Rosie somehow made the rest of the world make sense it also made her lose her inability to think rationally. All she really knew was that she would be utterly destroyed if she lost Rosie in any way.
Rosie grabbed her hand and pulled her into one of the little alleys in-between the nurses’ huts, Billie couldn’t help but giggle as they went. "I'll take my dance now since I can't tonight." He twirled her around and while Billie almost stumbled she was quick to find Rosie’s rhythm and follow along as he swung her around their grass dance floor.
Billie couldn’t help but smile as she looked up at Rosie. Their faces were so close it wouldn’t take much for her to stretch out and kiss him and the thought made her stomach flip with nerves. Rosie seemed to be thinking the same and Billie swore he started moving his head towards hers but she turned her head before seeing if she was right.
She slipped out of Rosie’s arms and went to stand against the wall. After feigning being out of breath Billie put a hands on her hips, shrugged and said, “Sorry.”
Rosie came to stand beside her and reached an arm arm out so his elbow rested on the wall and his head settled onto his fist. He looked at Billie and she couldn’t help but blush under his scrutiny. She wondered how long it was going to take for her body to adjust and not react that way every time he looked at her.
“I feel there’s something you’re not telling me.” He said, perceptive as always.
“I don’t know what you mean.” She lied.
“We don’t have to talk about it. But I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything.”
And it was that, Rosie’s constant understanding and grace, that had Billie speaking before she could plan what to say. She’d fold in an instant if he was the one questioning her.
“I don’t know how I feel about the touching in public where people can see. Beyond what’s normal I mean.”
Rosie immediately dropped his arm and took a large step back. The distance left a bitter taste in her mouth. “Have I made you uncomfortable?” Rosie looked distraught so Billie ignored the hypocrisy and stretched her hands out to grab Rosie’s in an attempt to comfort him. She hated seeing him so upset.
“Not at all! Don’t you dare think that. You have been perfectly lovely in every way, Rosie. And I really mean that, trust me. This is a me thing.”
“Then can you expand on what you mean?” Rosie slowly asked.
Billie dropped her hands from Rosie’s and started wringing them nervously. “I don’t think I can really explain it. It’s just …” she waved a hand as if brushing off a thought. “I guess it all stems from being insecure. It’s just I don’t want to bring you down. I don’t want to be a distraction, you need to stay focused.”
Rosie was making that face again so Billie continued, “I’m not saying I don’t want to be around you or be seen with you. I want to be with you, I just want to go slow. I want respectable not indecent.”
Billie couldn’t explain how conflicted she felt. Because Billie knew all about physical relationships. She was no stranger to sex. Billie in the past was not shy, hadn’t had an ounce of shame and she was mortified at the idea of sharing her history with Rosie. If she had her way Rosie would never know about all of the scandalous things she used to do in public. Billie hated that she proved certain stereotypes right but she couldn’t help her past. She was both ashamed of her past self and proud for having been confident enough to get what she wanted. Still, she didn’t want to be seen as some sort of easy or loose girl. She didn't want to be like that anymore. Even more she wanted to be wanted beyond her body for once.
She didn’t know how to explain that she wanted something steady and real. This was the first thing Billie could possibly call a relationship and she’d spent years dreaming about this happening. But now that she was here with Rosie she was realizing how her past was on the edge making her fairy tale dreams unobtainable. She’d be destroyed if her history somehow brought about Rosie’s social downfall or worse, turned him off completely. If she could keep things physically mild with Rosie, if she could convince him to stay around without relying on her body then there was a chance for things to continue. Because this thing did feel real with Rosie, the most real and right thing she’d ever felt. Billie would never forgive herself if she messed this up.
“You want something real.” Rosie said with an understanding smile.
It was like he read her mind. Billie met his eyes again and she was struck again with a sense of awe in how in tune he was with her.
“How do you always do that?” she asked.
“How do I do what?”
“You know exactly what I’m thinking when I don’t know how to say it.” She started wringing her hands again and looked around at anything but Rosie. “It’s embarrassing but… I don’t have any experience and because of that I want to do things right.”
Rosie reached his hand out and gently touched her elbow to get her attention before dropping it back to his side. “You’re working yourself up over something you don’t even need to worry about. I’m fine with slow.” he reassured her. “I’ll take whatever you’ll give me.”
“You really don’t mind?”
“Honestly, I don’t mind. I can handle real.” Rosie took a small step closer and resumed his position leaning against the wall. “In fact, I like the idea of a little courting. It’s romantic.”
Billie really didn’t understand how she got so lucky with Rosie. A girl like her didn’t deserve someone like him but she certainly wasn’t going to let him go. She was going to do whatever it took to keep him by her side.
“I’m fine with you setting the pace.” Rosie said and that really had Billie melting.
She looked around to see if anyone could see them and when she felt like it was safe she grabbed Rosie’s tie and pulled him into a kiss that she wanted to escalate but resisted the temptation. It was a quick thing and Billie immediately turned on her heels and fled the scene in embarrassment at her forwardness. Especially after having just said she didn’t want that sort of thing yet. Understandably she left him stunned with his eyes wide and mouth open in surprise.
Billie stopped after rounding the corner off the building and stuck her head back around to look at Rosie. “I hope you have a good night, I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow.” Rosie answered weakly. Billie winked at him and gave a little wave then made her way inside.
It didn’t take long for Billie to get comfortable in the chair by the window with a blanket tucked around her. She wouldn’t be able to stay here for long with the fading sunlight but she wanted to take advantage while she could. Billie had only managed a couple of pages when voices just outside the window distracted her. She couldn’t help but lean closer to listen and it didn’t take long for her to recognize Rebecca’s nasally drone.
“It’s just that she’s a waste of space. We give her the easiest tasks and she can barely handle them!” Rebecca said.
“At least she’s always in a good mood.” Someone else said.
“Who care’s if she’s in a good mood if she’s a waste of the Army’s resources.”
The girls all laughed and the sound sent chills down Billie’s spine. She wasn’t stupid; Rebecca and her friends were talking about her. She felt three inches tall but she couldn’t stop listening.
“Plus there’s the way she’s been hanging on to Rosie.” Rebecca complained. “She was bad before but now her heads all in the clouds. She’s such a floozy distracting our best pilot.”
“I saw him walking her back after dinner the other night.” someone confessed. “He has to be somewhat interested in her.” Billie’s heart warmed at the small argument in her favor but it didn’t last long.
“Or, Rosie is simply a gentlemen and Billie knows how to take advantage of that.” Rebecca countered. “She’s the kind of girl to use men. She’s circus trash who brings trouble with her wherever she goes, so what else would you expect? We can’t trust her with anything of value. We’d be doing Rosie a favor by pulling Billie from his side. He deserves someone better. It’s always heartbreaking seeing a man with potential being held back.” Rebecca’s voice was filled with distain for Billie and she could picture exactly what Rebecca’s face looked like as she complained about Billie. It was always the beautiful and talented ones that could say the most hurtful things, or at least it’d been that way in Billie’s life.
“By someone better you mean you, right?” Someone asked.
“What can I say, you saw how we looked together the other week.” Billie could picture Rebecca flipping her blonde hair behind her shoulder as she laughed. Billie felt sick. They had looked rather good dancing together and it had broke Billie’s heart and still hurt to think about.
Having heard enough Billie got out of the chair and fell face first onto her bed. She screamed. Then she rolled over, grabbed her pillow and put it over her face then screamed again. Hate was a useless emotion in Billie’s book but for the first time in her life she understood what it felt like to hate someone. She was so frustrated she felt hysterical. It was like Rebecca had confirmed all of her worst fears of what people thought of her. One of her goals when signing up to be a nurse had been to reinvent herself and it was devastating to have her past ruin that. She wished she could go back in time and never tell anyone she was from the circus. She should have made up some backstory and lived a lie. Surely that would have been easier to deal with than this.
Billie sat straight up with one thought on her mind, she needed to get drunk. Her adrenaline was racing with her frustration and humiliation and she needed to get the energy out somehow. She wanted to be reckless and make poor decisions to cover up this deep hurt. After peeking out of the window to make sure Rebecca and her friends had left Billie gathered her things and left the hut. She climbed on her bike and started furiously pedaling away, making it to the pub in record time.
Billie burst through the door of the pub with such gusto that more than a couple of heads turned in her direction. She marched right up to the bar and ordered a shot of whiskey. Before the bartender could set it down Billie snatched the glass from his hand and slammed it back. “Another.” she asked. The bartender’s eyebrows were raised but he grabbed the bottle and poured more into her glass. Again she downed it all in one go and sucked a hiss through her teeth. “Another.”
“Are you sure you can—”
“Another.” She glared at him and he immediately poured her another heavy pour. She threw it back. He set the bottle down next to her while he got her a glass of water and left her to go check on other side of the bar. After making sure he wasn’t looking she grabbed the bottle and with her heavy hand poured the whiskey like it was water. But this time Billie waited a bit before drinking and took a sip instead of throwing it back like she’d been doing. She picked her glass up and studied the whiskey, noting how the amber liquid reflected the dim light of the pub. It was so pretty it reminded her of the wood beams and rigging that held the big top together. It reminded her of safety and support.
Billie’s headache was gone but in its place she felt nauseous as all of the shots she’d taken hit her at once. She set the glass back down and let her head fall to rest on the bar. Billie wanted to forget, she wanted to make everything go away. She lifted her head back up and took another sip of her drink. She wanted to be numbed out and she was well on her way to that point. She pulled out enough money for what she'd taken and stuck it under the glass of water.
Billie worked her way back to a table near the window and smiled to herself as she settled down. Billie loved how dark and moody the pub was; she loved how she could sink into the flickering shadows from all the candle light. There was an intimacy to the pub, a warmth that Billie found missing in the officer’s club. The officer’s club had an edge of respectability that got under Billie’s skin. She preferred places where people could fully let loose. She liked being with the common man. She was used to being with those described as rough around the edges, so even though she didn’t interact with any of them she felt at home with the pub’s patrons.
It didn’t take long for Billie to start wallowing about Rebecca. This wasn’t her first foray into mean girl drama but it had been a long while since she’d had to deal with it. She hadn’t thought that it was something she’d have to worry about but now that she was in it she felt like a fool for thinking it wouldn’t happen. Gossip and drama were a part of life no matter where one went and Thorpe Abbotts was no different. Billie should have been more prepared. She used to have thicker skin than this.
But even if she’d been prepared she’d still have gotten hurt over things she couldn’t change. It was frustrating because Billie knew she didn’t have anything to apologize for, nothing to be ashamed about. If men could live their lives sexually free then she had every right to do the same. She knew her truth and so did those who’s opinion she actually cared about. In the grand scheme of things Rebecca’s opinion didn’t matter and Billie should let it roll off of her like water off a duck’s back. Still, Billie did her best to drink away her bad mood.
Luckily she’d been left alone over the course of the night. It was as if she was giving off the aura of someone who shouldn’t be messed with. Billie supposed that since she was almost always in a good mood her brief moments of melancholy carried more weight than normal. She wondered what Rosie would do when she inevitably got this way around him. How would he respond when she was practically vibrating with negative energy and became a miserable bitch? Billie knew the effect her rare bad moods could have on those closest to her and she wasn’t looking forward to testing it with Rosie. It was a good thing she’d gone to the pub to drown her sorrows. Hopefully she’d be able to work her anger and shame out of her system so she’d be back to normal by the next time she saw Rosie.
Billie had been eyeing an arm wresting contest that had started across the room while absentmindedly carving a heart into the table with her pocket knife. The group of airmen looked like they were having the time of their lives, their enthusiasm taking off all the years stress had added to their faces. Arm wrestling had been one of the games they’d played as kids and Billie missed the thrill and feeling of slamming someone’s hand down. She loved games, she missed playing things. She set her knife down and rubbed her thumb over the finished carving, her nail catching on the corner and a splinter got caught under her nail. Billie hissed in pain but then managed to squeeze it out. This was justice coming for her for defacing the pub’s table. It was very on theme for how she was feeling.
Billie looked up to take a drink of her almost empty pint and saw Crosby heading directly for her. She’d never seen him at the pub in all of her time on base and even though she’d never thought about it before she realized that she’d unconsciously assumed he hated the pub like Rosie.
She waited until he came to stand right in front of her to greet him. “Good evening, Sir.”
“Good evening. I’ve been watching you.” Crosby said. Billie made a face and he scrambled to say, “Wait, that sounds awful. I didn’t mean that in a creepy way.”
Billie couldn’t help but laugh and gave a smile, “It’s okay, I get what you mean. What about it?’’
“It’s just that you seem upset and I wanted to see if you needed to talk about it.”
“How did you come to that conclusion?” Billie couldn’t help but be a bit defensive. She knew it was obvious but she was still sensitive.
“Judging by how many trips you took to the bar,” he nodded down at all of the empty glasses on her table. “It looks like you’re drinking for two.”
“If you want me to be embarrassed you’re shit out of luck.”
Crosby placed a glass of water in front of her then sat down in the seat across. Billie was annoyed, she felt like Crosby was babying her even though she knew he was just looking out for her. He was a good man she was grateful he had forgiven her after the blood drawing fiasco. Billie liked having him on her side even if it bothered her at times. She took a small sip of water and then went back to watching the arm contest over in the corner.
“I can tell you want to go over there.” Crosby observed.
“Is it that obvious?” Billie asked.
"A little. It’s all the staring.” Billie must have made some sort of face again because he reassured her by saying “It’s only because I was keeping an eye on you that I noticed.” He hesitated as if debating whether or not he should say something. “You seem more down than usual. And I’ve never seen you alone before without all your girls. Did something happen?”
Billie finished off her drink and gave a little shrug as she put the empty glass on the table with all the rest. She really didn’t want to answer Crosby’s question. A part of her thought that Crosby would actually be a good person to confide in since he’d probably respond well and give her some sort of advice, but everything was still too fresh. She couldn’t bare to talk about her embarrassment. Her self loathing was suffocating.
“Do you think I could win?” Billie nodded in the direction of the men arm wrestling.
“You want to go over and get in on it?” Crosby asked.
“Come on, tell me you don’t think I can. Give me a reason to prove you wrong.” It was the liveliest she’d been all night.
“Why do I feel like you somehow hustled me into coming over just so I could bet that you can’t beat someone in an arm wrestling contest?” Crosby said with a groan.
“I wish I could say I was that skilled. But what do you say? You think I should go for it?”
“You’re drunk is what I think.” He snarked.
“Do I seem drunk to you?” Billie asked. Besides her face getting flushed she was good at holding her drink. Normally she could be well beyond drunk and still act as if she was stone cold sober. But she wasn’t herself tonight and she wondered if she was off her game.
“No, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t. Looks can be deceiving.” he sighed. “But yes, I think you could beat someone. I don’t know if any of them are that someone but I know you’re going to try.”
“You’re a smart man, Crosby. I get why they promoted you.”
Mind made up that she was going to get in on the action she stood up from the table with such force she bumped the table causing the glasses to clang together.
“Easy now.” Crosby was startled by Billie’s sudden movement and moved to steady the glasses.
“You want to come watch?” She was on the move before he could answer.
As she got closer she realized that she didn’t recognize any of the airmen in the group but that wasn’t unusual. Like others on base she hadn’t been as good at keeping up with the new recruits as the original crews. Still, she marched forward smiling as if she knew them already and didn’t bother introducing herself.
“Evening gentlemen. Can I have the next round?” She asked.
“Yeah, we’ll have a couple of lagers.” The man who just won said with a smile to all his friends.
“No, I meant the game.” Billie pointed at the empty space between the men.
All of them looked at her confused. The one who just lost asked, “You want to arm wrestle us?”
“Not all of you, just whoever’s next. Normal rules, come on now.” She snapped her fingers at them to keep up.
“Look, ma’am. This sort of thing isn’t really for ladies.”
“Ladies can’t be strong?” she cocked an eyebrow and stared them down.
The one across from her visibly swallowed then saw something just over Billie’s shoulder and he sat up straighter.
“Why don’t you humor her?” Crosby asked from behind Billie, but it carried the weight of an order.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Now she felt bad for trying to have some fun. She didn’t want to get rank involved.
“I just don’t want to hurt you.” The airman said and Billie had to admit she appreciated the gesture. The guy meant well. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know what Billie could handle.
“Oh you’re so sweet to be worried about me.” she put her hand over her heart. “But you don’t have to. It’s just been a while since I’ve arm wrestled. My brother and I used to all the time.
“I won’t take it easy on you like your brother, ma’am.”
“I’d be insulted if you did.” She shooed one of the guys out of their seat and plopped down. She stuck her arm out. “Are you going to let me have my fun or not?”
Billie won the first round easily. It was clear her opponent had completely misjudged her. Billie couldn’t help but love when men did that.
“I thought you said you weren’t going to go easy on her?” one his friends teased him. And Billie wanted to echo the question but figured it was best to chill on the table talk.
Her challenger was frustrated. He stuck his arm out to go again and Billie obliged. He was certainly trying harder but it didn’t take long for Billie to gain momentum. The guy’s face flushed, his whole face and neck red as he struggled to move her arm. Billie would be worried about him causing trouble but with Crosby behind her she knew she was safe. She was vaguely aware of more people around them but it wasn’t enough that she was worried about seriously wounding this guy’s pride. Her arm was beginning to hurt but Billie knew it was a level of pain she could push through for a while even though she’d be feeling the affects for far longer.
The man fell back into his chair in shock when Billie won the second round. He was still bright red and Billie couldn’t help it this time and laughed at the teasing his friends were doing. This was the sort of fun she didn’t know she needed to cheer herself up. Crosby didn’t join in on the teasing but smiled in amusement at Billie’s antics; he was relieved that Billie was starting to act like herself again.
“One more.” The airman looked determined like some little toddler trying their hardest to do something for the first time.
He was a young thing Billie realized, probably around her brother’s age and her heart throbbed at the thought. Billie wanted to squeeze his cheeks and and lecture him about one thing or another like she would with Eddie. The next best thing would be knocking him down a peg and reminding him women weren’t to be judged so easy. She grabbed his hand and situated herself for another round.
While he made a good attempt Billie still had him knocked down in under a minute. He looked completely stunned after being bested. Billie held her breath for how he was going to respond since it looked like he could start yelling and causing trouble. One never did know with these military men. But then he just barked out a loud laugh, one that was joined by Billie and all of his friends. Billie got out of her chair and thanked him for humoring her.
“It was my pleasure. It was nice to be reminded about the dangers of expectations.” He suck his hand out. “We never got around to introductions, sorry for being rude. Lieutenant Miller, ma’am.”
Billie shook his hand. “Please, just call me Billie. I can’t stand all of this formal stuff.” Billie waved her hand dismissively. “Anyways, thank you for giving me a little taste of the home front.” Billie gave a slight curtsy then turned to go back to her original table.
She stopped before sitting down and put her hands on her hips while she inspected the table. The only glass with anything in it was the water that Crosby had brought her and that wouldn’t do. She stepped towards the bar but Crosby stopped her.
“Do you really need another drink?” he asked.
“I’ll get a beer instead of whiskey, does that make you feel better?” She turned on her heels and stomped away before she could hear Crosby’s response.
Billie wormed her way into the mess of people crowded around the bar. As soon as she found a spot the person to her right left but before Billie could spread out the space was immediately filled. She took in the newcomer out of the corner of her eye. Judging from the uniform he was an RAF airman and Billie couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him. She’d heard enough stories about them messing with her guys that she couldn’t help but be annoyed by this guy on sight.
Billie was really annoyed when the airman’s arm brushed against her boob as he reached out to grab the bowl of nuts in front of her. She had to lean back to give him more space. She was a bit grossed out but tried to not think much of it beyond being a drunk accident and lack of awareness. But then the man leaned into her space again as he talked to his friend. Billie had a bad feeling but she stayed where she was.
She told the bartender what she wanted then started drumming her fingers on the bar top to distract herself. Suddenly Billie felt a hand start to go around her waist and she immediately stepped away out of reach.
“Hands to yourself!” Billie snapped.
“Come on now, love. I’m just having a little fun is all. I saw you having fun over there with all those tossers, you can have a little fun with me.” He leaned into her space with his face close enough that Billie could smell how drunk he was.
Billie hated that the beautiful accent was being ruined by words that made her want to gag. “I don’t want to have fun with you. And you can have fun without touching me.”
His hand went to her waist again but then went further. He grabbed her ass and she roughly pushed his arm away.
“Get off of me!” She was furious. She wanted to rip his arm off but she didn’t want to start any more trouble than was necessary.
“Do I need to buy you a drink first? I thought you Americans had no problem jumping right to it." He was leering at her like something out of a nightmare.
“Just leave me alone.” Billie was annoyed no one around her was doing anything in her defense but she wasn’t that surprised. People often kept to themselves when things like this happened. She looked over her shoulder and saw that Crosby had left their table and was quickly coming towards her. He looked concerned and was staring down the man giving Billie a hard time.
“Here ya go little lady.” The bartender placed a pint down in front of her and Billie felt like she could breathe again. Now she’d be able to get away from the creep and carry on with her night. She turned her back on him and took a step away from the bar to meet Crosby in the crowd and go back to their table.
“Wait, where you going? You have a drink so now we can talk.” The man reached out and grabbed her with both hands around her waist. He pulled her backwards into him causing Billie to spill half of her drink onto the floor. Billie saw red and she almost threw the glass on the ground.
She twisted to the right and swung her left hand around to punch him straight in the face. It was like she put all of her strength behind the punch because the guy immediately crumpled, his head hitting the top of the bar before he slumped to the ground.
Billie felt like she was watching this all play out from an outsider’s perspective and she looked a disheveled mess standing over this guy with her fist clenched and breathing so hard her whole body was shaking. Everyone seemed to be frozen around her even though she knew people had to be reacting. She came back to herself and leaned over the man to put her drink back on the bar. He groaned but didn’t make any move to get up.
“Sorry about that.” She apologized to the bartender who was looking at her in shock just like everyone else around her. Billie was mortified at the attention and turned to run out of the pub.
Billie’s eyes began to sting as soon as her face hit the cool night air. She held back her tears long enough to dart around to the side of the pub and find a place in the shadows to lean against the wall. Billie was crying as soon as her back hit the bricks with a hand covering her mouth to keep from making a sound. She didn’t need any more attention on herself. She’d only just stopped shaking when she heard a group of men leaving and one of them saying something about “that bitch.”
“Yeah, but that bitch threw a mighty left hook.” Someone said.
They laughed and Billie took a step away from the sound. One split away from the group and started down the back alley towards Billie. In an instant Billie felt more sober than she’d ever been and again she stepped further back along the wall deeper into the shadows. He stopped a couple of feet from the front of the building and Billie heard him unzip his pants. She turned away and clamped her hand tighter over her mouth to keep back her nervous laughter as he took a piss. Billie stayed frozen against the wall as the man finished and returned to his group. Her breaths were slow to steady but eventually evened out as the voices faded and once they disappeared she dropped her hand from her mouth to study it.
She couldn’t see much with the miserable lighting in the back alley but she could tell she was bleeding. Her hand was throbbing in time with her still racing heart. With her knuckles a couple of inches from her face she noted that it wasn’t that serious of a thing despite what the amount of blood would imply. She’d probably caught the corner of one of his teeth since she did come at him from a bit of an angle. The memory of her closest friend Charles warning her of this very thing when he first taught her to throw a punch floated through her mind and she couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped out from her dry lips. Charles would be so frustrated with her but she knew that after pulling her into a headlock he’d whisper that he was proud of her and compliment her form. With how quickly the asshole had gone down she knew that she’d had the form worth complimenting.
Billie went to wipe off some of the blood on her skirt but stopped herself. She could stain her skirt and she didn’t want to deal with the hassle of getting the bloodstains out. She slumped back against the wall of the pub and leaned her head back so she could stare up at the stars. Billie felt woozy and a little nauseous so she crouched down on the ground and wrapped her arms around her legs. She waved her injured hand hang gently in the air so the breeze could help dry the blood and she could go back to using her hand freely again. Once the blood was dry she’d start the long trip home. There was no way she was going to be able to ride her bike being so drunk so she was going to have to walk it. Once again Billie was regretting her choices of the night.
Billie looked back up at the stars and thought about how exhausted she was. It wouldn’t take much for her to fall asleep right there. She felt like a wet rag being rung out after having felt practically every emotion throughout the course of the day. But despite the high of Rosie returning safely the devastating blow of Rebecca’s remarks weighed Billie down. Even though she wasn’t ashamed of how she’d responded to the RAF creep she felt like she’d somehow proved Rebecca right and she hated it. Billie felt like she was going to cry again and put her hands over her eyes as if she could physically keep the tears from coming out.
“Nurse James? Billie, you back there?”
A voice came from the other end of the alley by the front of the pub. Billie wiped at her eyes as she stood up and squinted at the figure coming closer to her. It was Crosby.
“I figured you might want this.” He was holding out a makeshift ice pack and Billie was touched at his gesture.
“Thank you. Yeah, this will really help.” She shuddered when she put the icepack on her knuckles but pushed through the slight discomfort. Soon she felt nothing but relief.
“I settled up for you inside. Can I walk you back to your quarters?” Crosby asked.
Billie must have given him some sort of look because he was quick to add, “It’s just that I don’t think Rosie would forgive me if I let you walk home alone.” he cleared his throat. “Especially after what just happened.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I know, but I’m going to do it anyways. Look at it this way, I’d do this to any of my friends who drank almost an entire bottle of whiskey on their own over the night.” he reasoned.
Billie figured she couldn’t argue her way out of it so she simply shrugged with acceptance. “Guess we best be off then.”
“After you.” Crosby stepped aside and gestured with his hand that Billie should lead the way. Billie stumbled with the first step she took and Crosby rushed forward to help her.
“I’m okay.” Billie reassured him as she straightened up.
She grabbed the icepack from where she’d dropped it on the ground and looked at how the rag was now covered in dirt. It was essentially useless now that she couldn’t put it back on her open wound. So much for nice things. Billie took a deep breath before starting to walk again, quickly coming to Crosby’s side and matching his pace. Once they were walking with their bikes she realized just how drunk she was and she was suddenly more grateful than annoyed that Crosby wanted to walk her home.
They walked in silence for a couple of minutes. Billie could tell that she was slightly swaying and was grateful Crosby wasn’t treating her more like a kid who couldn’t handle their drink and simply gave her the space to stumble along. It helped having the bike to keep her steady.
“How do you think you’re going to tell Rosie about this one?” Crosby asked interrupting the silence.
“Oh, I’m not going to tell Rosie.” Billie said bluntly.
“What do you mean? You have to tell him.” Crosby was confused.
“No I don’t. And neither do you. You can keep this quiet can’t you? Please?” Billie didn’t want to resort to begging but more so she didn’t want news of the night to get back to Rosie. So she’d beg if she must.
“Do you really think that you can keep him from finding out? I wasn’t the only witness in there. It’ll be the talk all around the breakfast tables tomorrow.”
Billie groaned, “But I can still try.” She kicked a rock as she pouted like a kid. “I can’t even think about talking to Rosie until I’ve sobered up.”
As if on cue Billie felt like she was going to throw up and stumbled off to the side of the gravel path leaving a startled Crosby and her bike behind. She hunched over and started dry heaving, only vaguely aware of Crosby coming up behind her pressing his hand gently on her back. She spat then coughed.
“Are you okay?” Crosby asked.
“I’m not going to let myself throw up if that’s what you’re asking.” Billie said then spat again.
“You say that as if you can will yourself not to be sick. If that was possible I would know, trust me.” He thought for a moment. “Is that really something you can do? A circus thing? You have to teach me if it is.”
Billie laughed. “No, that’s not one of my special skills. It’s mostly hope and drunk confidence that I can keep it all down. I hate having to be sick in public.”
“Something you’re familiar with?”
“I don’t like the judgement in your tone.” Billie snipped and stood up. She wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand and then gave a smile to Crosby. “But yes, that’s something I’m familiar with.”
“Here.” Crosby handed Billie a mint. “They help me, maybe they’ll do something for you too.”
Billie took the mint, unwrapped it and popped it in her mouth. “Thanks.”
They started back up again, though a bit slower this time. They had just entered the base’s bounds when Billie broke the comfortable silence that had fallen back over them.
“What were you even doing slumming it at the pub tonight with the rest of us? Normally you stick to the officer’s club like Rosie.” She waved around her injured hand and said, “The pub’s drunken debauchery isn’t really your style.” She had meant to ask earlier in the night but had forgotten in the midst of everything.
“I don’t hate it, it just gives me a headache.” he answered.
“Semantics.” Billie wanted an answer.
“I made a promise to some of the new guys.” Crosby’s response didn’t tell Billie anything but she figured it was best to accept his simple explanation. She was the dangerous combination of wasted and nosy but she held herself back.
“I’m trying to work on the whole bonding thing.” Crosby elaborated while making a pained face that made Billie laugh.
“You’re really suffering, aren’t you?”
Crosby brushed off her teasing with an eye roll but then turned serious. “I know it’s hard but I’m trying to take a page out of the Majors’ book.” he shrugged. “As much as I don’t want to get close to them it’s important for me to be familiar. I have to do what I can to take care of them, they’re my responsibility. And sometimes taking care of them means suffering a night in the pub.”
“You almost sounded like Buck there at the end, complaining about Bucky.”
Crosby chuckled. “I’m going to take that as a compliment.” He shook his head as he thought back on the Majors. “None of us will ever be able to do what they did.”
“But you can do things your way.” Billie encouraged. She leaned over and elbowed Crosby’s arm harder than she intended causing him to stumble slightly.
“I’m certainly trying.” Crosby answered as he righted himself.
“You know, I think trying is one of the most admirable things someone could ever do.” Billie said. “So many people know they should do something but they’re too scared to make themselves do it. So many people can’t act! Life is all about momentum. You know, it’s like back when I was first learning the trapeze and I would get frozen up on the platform. I would be paralyzed up there staring down at the people who looked like ants and I couldn’t do anything! I could never just start right away even though I knew it would be for the best. That was the hardest habit for me to shake off. My dad used to get so mad at me.” she trailed off with a laugh.
Billie suddenly stopped in her tracks and pointed a finger at Crosby who was looking back very confused at her drunk rambling. She wasn’t sure if she was going to make sense but she continued, “Once you get moving it’s easier to keep moving. And it’s easier to start back up than starting from scratch. Starting is the hard part and you’ve already done that! Now you’re in the thick of it doing the necessary thing which is something to be proud of.”
“Thank you… I think?”
“You’re welcome.” She clapped her hand on his back. “Your men are lucky to have you watching over them. You make a difference.” She really hoped he knew how serious she was. Crosby wasn’t the type to easily accept a compliment.
Crosby went to answer but was cut off by a loud laugh coming from behind the building directly to their left. A moment later and a group of airmen came around the corner heading in their direction. As if by some sort of magnetism Billie’s eyes immediately went to Rosie in the back who was laughing with Pappy beside him. Of course it would be Rosie. She really hadn’t wanted him to see her in this state but there was no avoiding it now.
“How’s that plan of keeping the whole thing from Rosie going?” Crosby seemed to have noticed Rosie too, much to Billie’s dismay.
“Sometimes I really can’t stand you, Croz.”
Crosby let out a laugh, taken aback but amused by Billie’s response. And as was her luck of the night Crosby’s laughter had drawn Rosie’s attention.
“That you, Harry?” Rosie broke from the pack and jogged ahead of them to reach the pair quicker. His face brightened when he realized Billie was next to Crosby and Billie felt her heart up in her throat as she received Rosie’s full attention. Somehow she was feeling both incredibly sober and like she’d just taken another chug of whiskey at the same time. Billie didn’t think she’d ever be able to make sense of the way Rosie made her feel. She swallowed nervously but smiled back and did a little wave.
“Good evening, you two.” Rosie didn’t stop as he came up to them. Instead he pulled Billie into his arms and swung her around to start dancing along to whatever song was in his head. Billie couldn’t help but laugh delightedly as she easily fell in step alongside Rosie. She could barely feel her hand throbbing with Rosie’s holding it. Crosby watched with a smile as the pair danced without noticing the group of airmen having to go out of their way to avoid the two.
“You’ve had a quite a bit to drink haven’t you?” Billie teased Rosie when they came to a stop and she leaned into his side to rest her head briefly on his shoulder.
“I could say the same about you my dear.” Rosie wrapped his arm around Billie to keep her steady against him. He turned his attention to Crosby standing near their bikes.
“What’s with the ice pack?” Rosie was looking at the ice pack Crosby was still holding after picking it up when Billie was almost sick. Billie had forgotten all about it. “What happened?”
“It’s not mine.” Crosby said and Billie bit her tongue to hold back a groan of frustration at his honesty.
Rosie looked her up and down and Billie shifted, for once uncomfortable with Rosie’s full attention on her. Without really thinking about it she moved her injured left hand behind her back, but she hadn’t realized that Rosie would feel her arm move since it was the one next to his side. He didn’t miss a thing and immediately moved to grab her arm and pull it out from behind her back.
“What happened?” Rosie asked, his tone no longer light and joking. He’d traced his way down her arm and was gently cradling her hand in his, the thumbs ghosting over the dried blood.
“This, oh it’s nothing.” Billie pulled her hand away from Rosie’s while taking a small step back. She hid her hand behind her back again. Maybe if she kept it out of sight Rosie would stay calm. She started shifting her weight side to side, swaying nervously.
“It’s something worth an ice pack.”
“It’s been a long night, Rosie, we don’t need to get into it.”
“I’m going to ask again and I’d really appreciate if you told me yourself. What happened?” Rosie’s tone had shifted into something so serious Billie stopped moving. Now wasn’t the time to play around.
“It was just a misunderstanding.” Still, Billie really didn’t want to get into it. Her worst fear was that Rosie would look at her different if he knew she started trouble even if she all she did was defend herself. She didn’t want to find out if he thought of her in the same way Rebecca did. She didn’t think her heart could handle that kind of hurt after the night she’d had.
“Why are you defending that guy?” Crosby asked Billie.
“Harry, leave it.” Billie snapped.
“No, Harry, go on. What do you mean? What guy?” Rosie asked, getting heated.
“Not one of ours. One of the RAF guys took an interest in Billie and wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Crosby explained while ignoring the killer look Billie was shooting at him.
“So you said no in a way he’d understand you?” Rosie directed his question at Billie, inferring the rest of the story.
“I’m not going to apologize.” Billie crossed her arms defensively with a huff. She was still terrified of him treating her different but she wasn’t one to be ashamed of defending herself.
“I didn’t say you needed to.” Rosie looked at Crosby. “Do you think you could recognize him if you saw him again?”
“Rosie, honey, leave it alone.” She grabbed his chin and pulled his face back to face hers.
“I’m not going to leave it alone!” Rosie’s voice echoed loud around them and Billie was proud of herself for not flinching at the sudden increase in volume.
Billie had never seen Rosie this worked up. Now that he’d been by her side for a while Billie realized that he’d had more to drink than he originally let on. He was more drunk than he’d ever been around her before. To be fair, this was the most drunk she’d ever been around him too. A part of her was beyond pleased that he was so upset on her behalf but the rest of her didn’t think she was worth all the fuss.
“It’s okay, I took care of it. He’s not going to do it again, I’m fine. It’s not worth getting worked up over.” Again she tried to reassure him.
“But you shouldn’t have to take care of whatever it is.” he said with a frown, voice back to a respectable volume. He reached a hand out and cradled the side of her face. She couldn’t help but lean into the palm of his hand. He let out a sigh.“You’re always taking care of it by yourself when I want to be the one taking care of you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you to protect you. You deserve that at the very least and I failed you.”
“You’re just drunk talking sweet, come on. You have nothing to apologize for, really, Rosie.” Billie reassured him with a smile as she wrapped her hand around Rosie’s wrist.
“I know you know I’m serious.” He dropped his hand from her face. “You shouldn’t have to fight battles all on your own.” Rosie studied her for a moment. “Life hasn’t been kind to you but that doesn’t mean it’s always going to this way.” His voice lowered to a whisper and Billie felt a stirring deep within her. “I could give you what you deserve.”
Billie didn’t know what to say to Rosie’s confession, his words weighed heavy on her chest making it hard to take a breath. She was too drunk, Rosie was too drunk, for them to be having a conversation like this. She cleared her throat and looked around suddenly uncomfortable with the thought of looking at Rosie. If she looked at him she was sure she’d burst into tears. He was just too much and she was too emotionally unstable to handle his sincerity. She needed to find a distraction. She saw her bike standing alone with no Crosby in sight.
“Looks like we’ve been abandoned.” She said.
Rosie laughed lightly as he noted that Crosby had in fact vanished at some point while the two had been wrapped up in each other. He walked over to the bike and grabbed hold of the handles. He gestured his head in the direction of the Billie’s hut. “Ready to move?”
Billie came to his side and they started down the path. They’d only gone a couple of yards when Rosie stopped. Billie looked at him, confused, but then Rosie stuck out his hand. Billie looked at it and debated with herself over whether or not she should take it. She hadn’t made her mind up but when Rosie started pulling his hand back Billie snatched it without a second thought. She was blushing like crazy but she refused to make eye contact with Rosie. She could picture his face perfectly and she preened inside at being able to put a smile on his face. She gave in and peeked to confirm what she’d assumed and was pleased to see Rosie was in fact smiling dopily ahead and blushing just as much as she was.
Rosie pulled her along the path with one hand, the other controlling Billie’s bike. Billie was grateful no one was around because she loved the feeling of Rosie’s hand in hers a bit too much. They came upon a bench and Rosie leaned the bike against the back.
He looked at her with a bashful smile, “Let’s sit for a bit.”
Billie nodded in agreement and they settled onto the bench with Billie not fully pressed into Rosie’s side but certainly sitting closer than what was standard.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Rosie asked.
“Harry already told you what happened.” Billie grumbled.
“That’s not what I meant.” Rosie reached out and brushed back a stray piece of Billie’s hair off her face. Chills rushed down Billie’s arms as his fingers gently traced the back of her ear. She ached for more of his touch as soon as his fingers left her skin.
“What did you mean then?” Once again Billie was pretty sure she knew what he meant but she couldn’t stop herself from asking. Knowing Rosie he picked up on the root of the problem and wanted to attack it head on. While she admired that about him it was frustrating being on the receiving end of his pointed observations.
“I thought you wanted a quiet night.” He lifted her injured hand up and quickly kissed her knuckles. “This isn’t quiet.”
Billie looked away from Rosie but didn’t pull her hand away. “I don’t know if I can talk about it quite yet.” She confessed while staring at how their fingers wrapped around each other.
“Is it about Eddie?”
Billie looked back up at Rosie. He’d always been so easy for her to read but now that he was drunk he was an open book. He was so worried for her it made Billie’s heart skip a beat. It was so sweet of him to ask about her brother first. Again she was struck with the thought that she didn’t deserve him.
She shook her head and answered, “No, it’s nothing to do with Eddie.” Billie sighed and said, “It’s embarrassing…” she trailed off with a weak chuckle.
Billie ran her free hand through her hair and her fingers caught on a couple of knots but she forced them through. She ripped out a couple of strands and tossed them out onto the ground in front of their bench. Billie felt so childish, so petty complaining to Rosie about gossip. She didn’t want to ruin his opinion of anyone even if she thought they deserved it. She knew how well respected Rebecca was on base. Billie didn’t want anyone else to get involved. Christ, she didn’t even think she could talk to Barbara about what she’d overheard.
Rosie’s thumb rubbed over the back of her hand and Billie was pulled back into the moment. She felt herself leaning further into Rosie’s side. She’d fantasized countless times about what it would feel like to be wrapped up in his arms but none of them came close to the real thing.
“I said it before and I’ll say it again, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I hope you know I’m here for you. You can talk to me about anything. There is nothing embarrassing you could possibly say that would put me off.” He let go of her hand and reached a finger out to playfully tap the tip of Billie’s nose. “Did I ever tell you about when I met Majors Egan and Cleven?”
Billie shook her head. “I don’t think so, no.”
Rosie was blushing fiercely but smiled as he said, “Let’s just say talking about flying in your skivvies doesn’t make the best first impression.”
Billie threw her head back and cackled. “You’re not serious!”
“I wish I could say I was joking.”
The sound of footsteps on the gravel and laughter behind them interrupted Billie asking for the whole story. Rosie straightened up and pulled away from Billie to give more than the illusion of a respectable distance between them. Billie hated how sick the sudden distance made her feel. She wanted him back. She felt weightless without his arm around her but for the first time in her life she hated the feeling. She needed grounding.
The pair were quiet while the group of airmen walked behind them and their banter did little to fill the space between Billie and Rosie. Billie suddenly realized Rosie had listened to what she’d said all those hours ago. He was respecting her wishes and letting her set the pace. It felt like it had been an entire lifetime since she’d shied away from his advance. But the more she thought about it the more Billie found herself opposing her original stance. She’d already proved Rebecca right that night so Billie figured she might as well go all in on bringing the gossip to life.
People were still walking behind them, an unknown number of witnesses but Billie mentally pushed them aside and leaned back into Rosie’s side to close the distance he’d created. An unspoken gesture of consent; the invitation he said he would wait for. His arm immediately wrapped around her shoulder and pulled her until two were pressed tighter together than they’d been before. Billie couldn’t help but giggle as she settled into her new position practically on top of Rosie’s lap. She couldn’t bare to move. He pressed a kiss onto the top of her forehead and Billie barely held back a whimper. It was such a soft sweet thing but she couldn’t remember the last time someone had kissed her forehead. Her stomach flipped as she followed the train of thought and realized, not for the first time, that no one had ever treated her with the reverence Rosie seemed to hold for her.
She stretched her neck to look up at Rosie through her eyelashes. He looked as drunk as Billie felt and Billie knew with every fiber in her being that Rosie wouldn’t kiss her unless she initiated it. Even though his dilated eyes kept darting from hers to her lips. Just like she could only pull herself away from thinking about what his mustache would feel like against her skin to stare back into his blue eyes. Billie felt ridiculous but nothing felt as right to her as looking at Rosie up close like this. She wanted to look at him for the rest of her life. Without another thought Billie stretched her neck and pressed her lips to his.
Rosie was slow to respond and Billie was desperate for more. She pulled back the slightest bit and parted her lips. The beginning of saying something, she didn’t know what, was on the tip of her tongue but Rosie stopped her from apologizing or begging for more by closing the distance with a passion that Billie hadn’t been expecting. It was quick to get heavy between them with tongues and hands and Billie felt like she was flying. Rosie’s hands went to her hair and Billie couldn’t help but gasp. The sound seemed to spur Rosie on and his hands moved to cradle her face, keeping her in place while he took what he wanted and what she eagerly gave. Billie had never had this much fun with just kissing. But then he suddenly broke away and dropped his hands as if they were burning. Billie sucked in a deep breath as she struggled to steady her breathing. Her head felt like it weight ten more pounds without Rosie’s hands there to steady her.
“We need to stop, I don’t want to rush this,” he said seeming to be as out of sorts as she was if his breathing was anything to go by. “I want to savor you.”
“But I’m having too much fun.” she pouted. Billie knew she was being confusing going back and forth with what she was comfortable with and Rosie deserved better than her instability. But she was too drunk to try and lie to Rosie. Besides, she didn’t like lying to Rosie.
She didn’t want more than necking in public right now, she didn’t even know if Rosie could handle more than that, but she wanted to keep going. It had been ages since she’d kissed anyone and she’d forgotten just how much she liked it. There was such a lovely intimacy to a good kiss. The real issue was now she knew what it was like to kiss someone she had proper feelings for. Billie had never kissed anyone like Rosie and she wasn’t sure if anyone would be able to live up to him. It was all so ridiculous because in some ways the kiss had been such a mild thing and yet it was the most life changing kiss Billie had ever had. She was on a high like no other and she didn’t want to stop. But she was weak willed when it came to Rosie and she’d do whatever he asked of her.
“This is the opposite of taking things slow. Besides you deserve better than a moonlight tryst outside where anyone can see.” He started brushing her hair back, trying to undo the mess he’d made.
“I really don’t have it in me to care right now.” She confessed and leaned her head down on his chest.
“Well that’s very progressive of you.”
She pulled back and studied Rosie. “Are you worried about my honor?” She phrased it as a question but in Billie’s heart it was a statement. She didn’t know how but there were times when she could just tell what he was thinking and this was one of them.
“Well you said you wanted respectable and I’m trying my hardest over here but you’re making it hard looking at me like that.” His voice dropped, “You’re absolutely beautiful. I hope you’ve been told that a lot over your life because it’s true.” he said almost to himself as if he didn’t realize he was talking out loud. He traced a finger along her jaw and started to go up to her lips but then he dropped his hand.
Billie had the sudden realization that Rosie probably thought she was a virgin. He probably thought that when she said she was inexperienced he’d assumed in every way. It seemed he hadn’t let any rumors or assumptions get to him. She felt like she owed it to him to be upfront with where she was really at. She was terrified of what he was going to think of her, if he was going to cut things off. It would be the hardest thing to recover from if Rosie broke her heart.
She took a deep breath and said, “I’ve never been with a man.”
“I know, you said that earlier.”
“Romantically. I haven’t been with a man romantically. But I have physically.” Rosie’s face was blank and Billie was quick to continue, “See, I’ve never dated anyone. I’ve never… I’ve never been serious about someone. And no one has ever been serious about me.” She looked at their hands. “I’ve done things I shouldn’t be proud of but the thing is… I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t made those choices.” And that was a truth Billie wasn’t proud of. So much of her self worth had been built off her body; being approved of sexually was just as formative for her confidence as was meeting her father’s expectations for performing.
Rosie didn’t say anything and Billie was too scared to look at him to see how he was feeling. If she read his face and saw any sort of disapproval or disappointment she didn’t think her heart would survive. “Does that surprise you?” she asked while running her thumb over the back of Rosie’s hand.
Rosie shook his head. “Honestly, nothing about you surprises me.”
Billie didn’t know how to take that and she said as such. She didn’t dare look at him. Rosie was quiet again as he thought about how to explain himself. He started playing with her hair and she couldn’t help but lean into his touch like some sort of animal getting pet. She held back voicing her desire for him to tug just a bit harder knowing it would lead to things getting carried away again.
“You come across someone who has this distinctively unique life experience. It’s just as you said, you wouldn’t be who you are if you hadn’t made those choices. And who am I to judge you for those choices? You shouldn’t feel like you have to apologize for living your life. You are who you are and I happen to like who you are.”
“That’s funny because I feel like I’ve barely lived a life at all.” Billie said with a disgruntled chuckle still refusing to look at Rosie. She didn't want to acknowledge his confession of feelings, she was blushing too hard to speak on it.
“Well whatever life it was, I’m glad it brought you to me.” He pressed a kiss onto the top of Billie’s head.
“You can’t just say things like that.” She finally looked up at Rosie who was looking back confused.
“What did I say?” he asked.
“It’s like you’re straight out of my dreams. You’re too good to be true.” Billie said breathlessly.
She was getting sidetracked by some of Rosie’s curls peeking out from under his hat. Billie wanted a turn with her hands in his hair. She raised her hand without thinking about it but let it hover by the side of Rosie’s face as she debated whether or not she should start something. She wanted to but she didn’t know if she should. Billie thought back to what she was talking to Crosby about, momentum. She dropped her hand.
“And you call me the sweet talker.” Rosie caught her hand as it fell and brought it up to his lips. She loved when he did that, it made her feel like the respectable lady she'd been told her whole life she wasn't.
Billie blushed and curled in on Rosie to hide her face. She felt so safe being in Rosie’s arms she never wanted to leave. She shifted to wrap her arms around him as best she could and leaned her head on his chest as they held each other. His racing heartbeat seemed perfectly in time with her own. Billie really didn’t want anyone to see them wrapped up in each other but at the same time she didn’t have it in her to care one bit who saw them. Rebecca herself could come up in front of them and Billie wouldn’t be able to pull herself away. She just couldn’t resist Rosie. His arms tightened around her and Billie knew the feeling was mutual.
#sorry this took forever to write ! hopefully the next bit won't take as long !! but i am the way i am so ?!!#masters of the air#masters of the air fanfiction#mota fanfic#mota fanfiction#rosie rosenthal x oc#masters of the air oc#rosiegirlie writes
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The Dos and Dont’s of Fake Dating - inspo guide!
When I'm working on a story, I draw on all kinds of media as inspiration. I make lists of characters' fav movies or playlists that remind me of them, etc.
These are just some things I took inspo from/relate to Dos and Don'ts! I'm taking a brief pause in writing, so hopefully these will hold us over!
@sheneedsrocknroll92 and @steeldaisies because yall showed some interest!!
Playlist
I have a lil playlist full of songs that fit this fic's vibes in some way or another. There are various genres and tones and themes, so if you aren't afraid of bouncing around between types of music, this may be a fun way to vibe with the fic!
Music
Mystery by Dio - this is 100% THEIR song, I've associated this with Eddie and ice princess since day one; it will also make an appearance in an upcoming chapter~
Just Tonight by the Pretty Reckless - this song is one I associate with a particular chapter that is drafted but not out yet, and the vibes in general really mesh with some of the themes of this fic.
Ghost, HIM/Ville Valo, & Twilight Creeps - I just listen to these artists a lot while brainstorming and writing this fic; some particular songs are on the playlist mentioned above!
David Bowie & Fleetwood Mac - sooo ice princess isn't really a music person, because I think it's a funny contrast to Eddie; however, I do think she has a few Bowie and Fleetwood vinyls/cassettes lying around that belonged to her mom, so that's the extent of her music knowledge lol
Movies
Can't Buy Me Love - originally, I wanted to write a story inspired by this movie; the setup is ridiculous and I love every minute of it, so if you want to see an early prototype Eddie x ice princess, I suggest watching this one!
10 Things I Hate About You - this was also a movie that I considered using as plot inspo; although they're not the same, I do think similarities can be found in the characters to some extent, especially Patrick = Eddie.
Heathers - the vibes and fashion speak to be, and in another world maybe Eddie and reader would serve up some JD and Veronica vibes~
Halloween - it hasn't come up yet in the fic, but reader is a closet horror movie fan whose favorite is Halloween (no it's not her fav bc it's my fav what do you mean).
Bride of Chucky - Chucky and Tiffany speak to me on a spiritual level, and I feel like Eddie x reader give some of these vibes??? Also RIP Eddie Munson, you would've LOVED Child's Play.
Labyrinth - I picture ice princess having a lot of similarities with Sarah, which I didn't initially notice when I was first writing. There have been many lines I've written that I can SO clearly hear in Jennifer Connelly's voice, so she's a big inspo for this fic. Also, I love Bowie
TV
That 70s Show - putting aside all the real-world controversies, I was obsessed with Jackie & Hyde when I was a kid, and I think you can clearly see a similar character dynamic with Eddie and ice princess.
Married... With Children - have yall SEEN Kelly Bundy??? enough said.
Other
Evil Ernie - maybe you've seen my other Eddie posts, but I've mentioned before that the vibes of this comic series and it's titular character remind me of Eddie, so that's all.
Flight of Icarus - yes, yes, I know that this is literally a book about Eddie, but I still think it's worth noting that I've used the book as some reference, but for the most part I haven't included it too much (I also haven't read it sorry not sorry)
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[ID: 11 gifs from season 3, episode 22 “explorers” from the tv series “star trek: deep space nine”, the gifs show miles o'brien and julian bashir inside o'brien's personal quarters. they are both drunk. julian is seated on the couch, and miles is on a chair behind the couch.
1st gif: "unless she really ignored you because she can't stand you." miles tells julian and then keeps laughing to himself.
2nd gif: miles is still laughing while julian says, "isn't there some explanation in between?"
3rd gif: miles stops laughing and sits up, he tells julian, "well... you're not an in-between kind of guy." and julian asks him, "what do you mean?"
4th gif: "well, people either love you or hate you." miles tells him matter of fact, he is holding a snack with his fingers. julian has turned to face miles, "really?"
5th gif: "i mean, i hated you when we first met." miles tells julian, pointing towards himself and chewing on his snack. "i remember." julian replies.
6th gif: miles leans back in his chair, "but now..." he trails off chewing his snack, and eating the one in his hand.
7th gif: the camera cuts to julian as he turns his head to look at miles once more. "and now?" he prompts him.
8th gif: the camera cuts to miles, he turns his head to look towards julian, he tells him, "well... now i don't." then looks ahead once more and goes to eat more of his snacks.
9th gif: the camera cuts to julian as he turns his head to look ahead. he is nodding while telling miles, "that means a lot to me, chief. it really does."
10th gif: miles leans over the couch, he tells julian, "really! now... that is from the heart, huh?" julian is nodding as he speaks and he pushes his fist against julian's shoulder to stress his words.
11th gif: julian turns to look at miles who continues talking, "huh? i really do. not hate you anymore." miles seems surprised with the realisation as well. /end ID]
#startrekedit#deepspace9edit#deepspacenineedit#ds9edit#deep space 9#deep space nine#ds9#miles o'brien#julian bashir#ds9*#ds9**#tv*#tv**#*#**#my stuff#this was so funny to me and not just watching that part reminded me when fra sent me a screenshot version of this#even from before i started the show (he really did knew i would love it 😭😭) and talking how julian is etc etc#julian isnt annoying tho... not to me... 😭
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Over the years, I've gotten a lot of cis people messaging me about how they should go about dating or courting somebody who's trans, and I always felt like my responses would almost... disappoint them because there isn't this magic secret to dating us.
Cis people, if you want to date us, just date us. We're human beings, we're not wild animals to tame! I promise you can have a healthy relationship with a trans person without needing to feel like the world will end if you mess up.
Trans people who date cis people often want to feel secure in your acceptance of them. You don't have to talk about our transness for hours on end to prove that you accept your loved one. You don't have to put on a display and cabaret about how Much You Accept Us. Just be a person around us, and let us be people, too!
I almost want to disappoint cis people by reminding them of this. Some of the best relationships I've had with cis people have been ones where my transness is acknowledged, sure, but it's acknowledged in the same way that my left-handedness is. It's not a joke to them, it isn't something to be horrified about, but it's also something that they don't objectify me for.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#watching a video about this topic and it just reminded me of this#like there have been plenty of cis people who have come to me for advice and while i appreciate the thoughtfulness (don't get me wrong!)...#...part of me just feels like... they see trans people as needing to be Tamed in some way or Appeased...#...like they see us as people but it's more like they see us as Trans People and not... people...#...and maybe i'm looking too deep into it. maybe i'm jaded but that's sometimes how it can feel with some people...#...like my besties that i talk to fully accepted me...#...though it is funny when they forget i'm... not a trans woman or (with other friends) that i'm... not a cis man#(maybe i just give off ambiguous vibes irl and online because it's happened irl and with my online buddies)#adding once again: i don't think ALL cis people who ask this are doing so in bad faith#cis people i'm glad you are vulnerable about not being sure about how to go about transness...#...however i don't always think it's the best move to go to a stranger about your interest in a trans person in your life...#...simply because: 1. transness isn't a monolith and...#...2. it feels awkward because you aren't going to *them* to have this conversation that will ultimately affect *them*...#...because your relationship with a trans person will likely /not/ affect a trans stranger...
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hear me out on this one
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#jo sawashiro#snap sketches#cause i asked myself 'what if we have him more layers' i dont want to see AN OUNCE of skin from this dude#another similarity between mine and sawashiro is ive drawn tthem both in turtlenecks. lol.#funny as hell tho ever since i watched we make antiques i actually wanted to draw arakawa in a turtleneck#he always reminds me of a turtle anyway for some reason...#i mean this isnt totally off that mentality either. ttm did look cute in a turtleneck in like. Two Things#Awful tho all i thought bout when drawin the neck part was that Pencil Neck bit from p&f LMAO#omg wait rant time cause i drew this while waiting to hang with my bitchass friend#done with comm work for the morning and she taking nine years so. lets doodle#but then this bitchass friend forgot we were hanging out today even tho SKE asked to hang out today. as she did yesterday.#like UGH im not saying sawashiro is valid for bullying ichi for being late all the time but i get it.#this is legitimately the second day in a row where she forgot we were meeting and its making me explode#anyway she just texted me nw so i guess shes gonna come over soon#which means i get to be mad at her playin y7 LMAO ITS ALL FUN anyway bye
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women 👍
#personal stuff#thorn plays genshin#really cool boss fight and design!!#not quite as difficult as i expected but fun mechanics#also i liked how up close and personal it was. felt more like a duel than the past few real Big bosses like the whale#reminded me of the raiden fight w her just ominously walking towards you with creepy boss music in the bg#AND THE CUTSCENE WOOOO. the traveler seeming genuinely scared.#i was wondering if they were having khaenri'ah flashbacks seeing her crimson moon. hehe. kicks feet in the air#like them thinking abt khaenri'ah when paimon mentions the eclipse hilichurl tribe#i do like how we didn't actually Win. like we've beaten eleven eight and god gundam six#but we barely hold our own against four who's holding back AND with having other people helping us#very fun. even if my personal fear of arlecchino has gone down with each piece of promotional material.#also listening to everyone talk back and forth about oh nooo the knave is doing something terrible#having watched the animated short and also read thru arle's voicelines. is very funny#ALSO TARTAGLIA SHOWING UP. just to show that yes she DID return his vision and he IS okay#he's so funny to me. he fought a whale and was on the brink of death and is like NO I HAVE TO GO BACK TO FONTAINE.#listen ME TOO i want to know more from skirk#i did enjoy them shitting on their coworkers together that was GREAT. i LOVE to see the inter-harbinger beef#and them being on alright terms is nice. i think arlecchino does see him as a kid kind of#also interesting to me that pulcinella and pantalone are seemingly more in charge with certain parts of the fatui as a whole#and that they work Together when they don't seem to get along in the lazzo trailer
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somewhat pleased to announce that in case someone wanted to know, and i really don't see why they wouldn't, the cameras that atz use in the cawaii men photoshoots are
fujifilm simple ace p&s camera (for taking photos), and
most probably? pentax spotmatic (the one hj, sh and jh pose with)
#YOUNG PEOPLE NOWADAYS!!! they're wasting film like pros :''')#shrimp thoughts#actually this is terribly artificial behaviour. i was not organically possessed by the urge to check what kinda camera are they posing with#but i DID think it would be funny if i did and then acted like it's a completely normal thing to do. hence.#i should learn up on hj's photography... he did have an exhibit a while ago after all#i'm curious about the pics the guys took with the fuji cameras! what % of them was unsalvageable lol#i know it was probably cold/late/both outside and that they were on a schedule but yknow what they say#or maybe they don't. but anyway the person who picked up THING three seconds ago acts like they know everything there is to know about#THING. and so. as this very person. i'd like to say the pics would probably be better if they could take them outside? you can see#the p&s all have flash but still! oh also that reminds me of my minor gripe w/ atz photoshoots namely. they're All Indoors#well not ALL all but sooo many of them are and it pains me because i love outdoorsy photoshoots#like the one in the diary ver of fever 3 or the second part of the fever epilogue diary ver#...and fever 2 diary ver too. wait are diary versions just More outdoorsy/less Studio Photography? HM#but anyway! i just like when models can interact/blend in with their surroundings. it's always much more interesting when there's something#Else going on in the photo than just one color background/the walls of a room. this is why i loved l**na's predebut album photoshoots becau#*because each was in a different location! several different locations even! sometimes you'd even get a photo that has no people in it#simply because the surroundings are so pretty!#oooh now that i think about it d-day is like that too. yoongi heard me grumbling abt how much i hate those empty pages in bt/s albums#and went Not On My Watch lol#anyway. sorry i'm rambling for no reason gkhsfgkjfsf
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You know what I love about ur series and stories in the mafia141, is that the main character is still afraid of them even if they’re kind and loving to her. But it’s so subtle and it gives some realism and emotion to the mc.
AND I MIGHHHTTT BE READING AND THINKING TOO MUCH ABOUT IT but I even saw it in the medieval series so I had to ask about it.
It’s not like they kidnapped her and she quickly accepted her new life immediately like “oh welp gotta live with these men I know nothing about that barged into my house with a gun then killed my husband” it’s like, if one of them even looked at her wrong or spoke to her ina slightly different tone of voice then she’s shivering
cause all the low trauma she received from all the stuff she went through w them comes flooding back her senses.
She could die.
Matter of a fact she was upset and refused to speak to them when they barged into her house and moved her into a new place, completely taking over her life and doing as they pleased and.. can she say no? she knows she’ll suffer the same deal as her ex husband… she’s scared
Yeah she likes it of course and she’s living a semi good life.. but it’s still clicks in her head that “price could kill me if he FELT like it and I should be afraid of that and listen to him to keep my limbs in check.”
Waiting for the day they’ll be bored of her. So she keeps them entertained doing it unconsciously. Survival instincts sorta?.
maybe you’ll write something about that where she finally lets herself be calm and normal with them and not fearful as much but of course it’ll take time action and patience.
She’s prey getting tossed around by the predators
-🧇
you know what's funny? you are absolutely right about all of this (including the part about the medieval au because the element is more prominent than in this au). you've just described the next part of this series perfectly🤭
y'all are gonna hate me for this🙃
warnings: +18 smut, p in v, light choking, angst, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, past trauma (gaslighting, manipulation, emotional, psychological and sexual abuse) coming into play.
you've always known this would be temporary. whatever this arrangement with 141 is, you know it can't last forever. it's a casual thing, that much you're aware of, even if it hadn't been explicitly stated. sooner or later, one by one, all four of them are either going to get bored and/or find partners of their own and live their lives separate from yours.
"you're losing my interest." his voice is calm, lazy even. but there's an edge to it. the icy fire in his veins nipping at the ankle, a predator barely flashing his teeth to remind those watching that he could end them just like that. "and that's very dangerous."
he leans back on the couch on his end, breathing out a slow puff of smoke. the words aren't directed towards you, but they leave a chill in the air all the same. the person sitting across from Price, a short old man with a pot belly and a comb-over, gulps and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his sweaty nose.
to you, Mr Hodge looks like a father of four kids. a local, working man just trying to get by. he looks like he's just trying to gather up enough money for all of his children for college and probably waiting for the eldest to give birth so he can finally be a grandfather. he looks like he could be telling stories to the little ones at Christmas. you'd never guess that he's an advocate for some other devil in another gang territory.
you squirm on Gaz's lap. he comforts you by rubbing your back, quietly telling you that the meeting will be over soon. you hadn't meant to be here. you wanted to leave as soon as the man had arrived, but Price didn't mind you staying.
"please, sir..." the nervous man said, hands fiddling with the glass of bourbon in his hand. "it—it's a fair deal."
"is it really?" Price challenged, raising an eyebrow. "you think any deal with Phillip Graves is a deal worth making?"
Mr Hodge doesn't answer. he remains incredibly still, eyes blinking rapidly at the leader of the group. he looks like he'd rather be anywhere but here and honestly, you don't blame him.
Price leans forward and flicks his cigar over the ashtray with sigh a sigh. the action stretches his dress shirt tightly over his back, the two top buttons already undone.
"i know his lot. he's the kind that doesn't keep his word." he says, eyes lazily shifting to the guest. all amusement fades and his voice darkens. "and the kind that stabs his own in the back."
you don't know who Phillip Graves is. but you know none of the boys don't like him. and you know the boys also don't like treachery.
you've heard things, whispers from your coworkers about people going missing around the city because they pissed off the wrong man (or men) because they said something they shouldn't have to someone else.
you've heard about how Ghost put down the men who betrayed him and left him for dead, how there weren't even bodies left for their families to bury. you've heard that Gaz had swept through an entire room of men who stole from their organisation, per Price's command. and he'd done it happily because he was equally as pissed. you've heard that where there's smoke, there's Soap because he's rumoured to be a bit of a pyromaniac.
hell, the act of treachery itself is what brought you to their doorstep in the first place and got your late husband buried six feet under because he decided to bite the hand that fed him.
"and you want me to go into business with him." Price added, his tone making it clear that he was against the idea.
"think he takes ye for a fool, Captain." Soap scoffed with a light shake of his head.
"oh?" you watched the amusement spark in his eyes again as he glanced at his subordinate. the gaze shifts back to the sitting across from him. "is that true, Mr Hodge?" Price lilts, smirking. "do you take me for a fool?"
"n—no! no, sir. that's n—not true."
poor guy, you thought. he's only a messenger. scared out of his mind as he's surrounded by a pack of wolves. you want to intervene, you do.
but John's words "you're losing my interest. and that's very dangerous" echo sharply in your mind and deter you from speaking up. you don't dare to say a word, fearing that the wolves might turn on you instead.
you bury your face in Kyle's neck and close your eyes, trying to tune out the man's pleas for mercy.
technically, you never had a say in the matter. coming to live with them, that is. you're not ignorant to the fact that they could've either killed you or forced you to live with them, whether you consented to it or not.
the only reason you went along with it is because you wanted to let them believe that you didn't know this tiny fact. to let them believe that you're a pacified lamb, letting them herd you wherever they want you to be. you know it'll hurt far less if you comply because you've seen what happens, or at least heard of what happens, to those who resist their will.
and it's been easy to let them do whatever they wanted. sell your little apartment. move you into another one. take you to their base. sit on their lap. kiss them. have sex with them. let them pump you full of cum whenever they like. it's easier that way because you don't want to have to think about what'll happen if you refuse to do any of it.
but after today, after the last few weeks at least, it's been getting harder and harder to ignore that just because the edge of the knife isn't pressed to your neck right now doesn't mean it won't be in the future.
you're only as good and useful to them as long as you do as they say. that's the policy.
Gaz finds you staring at the sink after you've washed your face in the bathroom. it takes everything in you not to flinch when he touches your shoulder. "you alright, love? do you need anything?"
your eyes catch his in the mirror and you're choked by the influx of words. you want to tell him that you never want to see that again. that you never want to be part of that world.
but you can't say it. any of it. you don't want him to tell you that you're thinking too much of things, that it's just a normal part of their lives. that you'll adjust. that you're overreacting.
suddenly, it's not your own voice that speaks to you. that warns you, heeds you of your actions. but it's someone else. someone long dead and buried.
don't be difficult, Blair hisses at you.
you don't flinch. your expression doesn't shift to reveal his thoughts, his warnings flooding into your mind. coaching you on what to do, on how to survive.
words that were once spoken to suppress you, to put chains around your wrists and build an entire cage that gleamed under the light. words that you now cling to because they make more sense than anything.
don't be difficult. don't raise your voice. don't cry. don't cry. don't cry-
thankfully, you think you've gotten better at lying over the last few weeks. you manage to pull him in for a kiss, murmuring a lie into his mouth, telling him that you're okay before he can discern the legitimacy of it. it distracts him as he immediately melts into your touch and wraps his arms around you, sliding his tongue into your mouth.
when you were sure that he'd been thoroughly derailed from your internal turmoil, you finally pulled away and gave him a sweet smile.
he nudges your nose against his, all concern melting from his eyes as he presses his lips over yours again. his hand gripping your ass and hooks your leg up, lifting you onto the sink. just as he was about to start pulling at your clothes, he hisses sharply when his phone vibrates.
"fuck..." he groans, pulling away and checks his phone. "duty calls, bunny."
you pout while working on fixing his tie. "later?"
"later." he agrees, pecking your lips one last time.
Gaz doesn't show up later as promised. you try not to be disappointed. of course, the work he does is important. dangerously so. instead, Ghost took his place in keeping you company.
you try not to wince at the dark spotting around his eye. he kisses your palm over his mask when you asked him if he's alright. he suggested a movie because he was exhausted. you gladly let him in and get on to making popcorn for the two of you. you found him slumped over on the couch and chuckled at him.
not fifteen minutes into the movie, a historical comedy to help him relax, you're both startled by the sound of his phone vibrating on the coffee table. you think you know what's about to happen. your chest tightens anyway as you watch him reach for the device.
"fuckin' hell." he sighs as he reads the text.
"now?" you ask as he stands up. "really?"
"sorry, luv." he pockets his phone. "duty calls."
you left the tv on to distract you from the overwhelming ache of his absence. it's hard not to take it personally. but it's so fucking reminiscent of those first few months with Blair. always taking calls and texts and leaving right after.
soon, he wasn't just taking off to work. soon, he'd be disappearing off for days without telling you where he went and comes back dishevelled and bright-eyed with lipstick marks on his shirts. soon, he'd be snapping at you for asking too many questions, telling you to be grateful for what he's given you, telling you to shut up.
whatever it is 141 has going on is obviously keeping them busy, you get that. but for the fact that they basically abducted you from your old life and brought you here, you think a little bit of attention should be granted to you, right? they owe you that much at least.
you just don't want to end up in the same destructive cycle with someone even more dangerous than the previous man.
Price has a habit of surprising you when he has you making a mess of his cock. doesn't happen often, but happens enough times for you to anticipate something that will make you tighten around him and make him all smug about it after.
this time, the surprise wasn't so pleasant.
you're startled by the hand on your neck, immediately gripping his wrist and your whole body locks, paralysed. it takes everything in you not to struggle, not to move. all of the heat draining from you and ice filling your veins in the blink of an eye as you look up.
for a moment, it's not Price looming over you, but a dead man. the image flickers away just as quickly as you gasp and blink rapidly to stay focused. and just as quickly he stops rocking his hips and immediately eases up on you, releasing his grasp on your neck with the heavy call of your name.
"i'm sorry. are you alright, love?" he pants, eyes scanning your features, his hand cupping your face. "i didn't hurt you, did i?"
you're whiplashed at how fast his demeanour changes. one minute he was determined to rearrange your guts and the next, he's checking to see if you're okay as if he's looking for wounds.
"no, i—" you breathe deeply as you're sitting up, trying not to let your voice get too squeaky. "i–it's fine. i'm fine."
he doesn't believe you. you try to feign a smile. "give a girl a warning next time."
the momentary lapse in judgement had kicked in an unpleasant rush of adrenaline that left you trembling as you reach for him, trying to pull him in for a kiss.
but he stops you, holding the back of your head to pull you away. "maybe we should stop."
deep down, you agree. you don't think you can get through the night without something breaking in you if you allow this to continue. but you have to let it happen.
don't be difficult. the words flitter to you in the quiet night. your eyes drop to his cock, still hard, still glistening. he's still sweating, flushed and chest heaving in breaths to make up for the steady flow of blood.
"no." your hand touches his shaft, stroking him while you press your lips over his. "keep going."
"darling." he grabs your wrist, careful not to be too forceful as he pushes at your shoulder. "stop."
your gaze shifts away from his, shoulders raising. "sorry."
"don't be." he gently says. "hey..." he cups your cheek, meeting your eyes. "this is on me. i pushed a boundary, i made you uncomfortable. if anyone's sorry, it's me."
"you didn't mean to." you reason, but he shakes his head.
"regardless." he refuted. "i'm sorry, love."
don't cry. don't cry—
tears sting your eyes the more you tell yourself not to let them spill. John brings you into a warm embrace, silencing every voice in your head and fills it with his instead with soft apologies.
"won't happen again, alright?" he murmurs into your hair and you let out a deep sigh of relief, melting into his arms.
it doesn't stop the tiny voice at the back of your head telling you not to get too comfortable.
it doesn't go unnoticed that the rest of the boys refrain from initiating sex. and honestly, that might have been the last straw.
you needed a break from them. one night with your girls. with Eleanor. one night to forget about everything and get drunk out of your mind. but alas, you're denied that too.
"you can't be serious. it was one time!" you say, exasperated. "i can't be cooped up in here all day, every day for the rest of my life."
regardless of your pestering, Soap maintains an apologetic look. Ghost barely acknowledges your raised voice from the couch, opting to read his book instead of listening to you bitch and moan about how you wanted to go out with your girlfriends again. but you know he hears you. you know that the moment you attempt to grab your purse and run, he'll be right there, blocking the door.
"i ken, bonnie." Soap's hands gently grasp your shoulder as he tries to placate you. "ye want some fresh air, but—"
but, your skin prickles uncomfortably at his next few words.
it's not safe.
it's for your own good.
for a split second, you're in your dead husband's mansion. the weight of his gaslighting and years of isolation pressing down on you. suffocating you. dragging you down to the bottom of the dark waters, forcing you to sit in the cold, silent abyss of your loneliness.
Blair didn't love you unless it's easy for him. till you were pliant and easily malleable to his whims. always asking for forgiveness when he hurt you, rather than asking for permission to do things he knew would make you uncomfortable. losing him had been twice as easy, far better than lying to yourself and telling your heart that what he does, he does it to keep you safe.
you silently beg Soap not to say it. that he's just joking. that he'll even go with you. but no.
"we think it's better if ye lay low." he tells you. "just for a little while."
and there it is. always the same damn problem, always the same shtick. same man, different faces. you feel the sting at the corner of your eyes, your heart beating too fast for your lungs to catch up.
"and how long is a little while?" you snap, shrugging his hands off. from behind him, you barely catch the shift of Ghost's head.
"bonnie—"
you shake your head, taking a step back to swirl and go straight back to your room, hiding further inside this prison.
you avoid them for a week. hardly make any conversation with them too, despite them being around you nearly all hours of the day. you quietly eat dinner, not making eye contact with any of the four of them.
"Soap tells me you wanted to go out the other day."
the dinner table goes quiet. your gaze lifts to catch his at the end of the table, twirling his fork. Gaz keeps eating, eyes fixed on his plate. Ghost glances at you only once. his sigh does not go unnoticed by you, almost as if he knows what's coming. Soap's grimace gives him away.
Price's expression is unnervingly stern. you manage to keep a blank stare, despite the blood roaring in your ears. you may have gotten better at lying. to Soap, to Gaz and maybe even Ghost. but not Price. he's always seen right through you and that is not about to change anytime soon.
there's four of them and only one of you. you keep this at the forefront of your mind.
"i did." you nodded.
"and you understand why you can't do that right now." he reasons with a calm tone he often uses on his dogs boys to keep them on a leash, to keep them from lashing out. "you got mugged the other day."
"that was an isolated incident." you state, shaking your head. "it's not going to dictate my life."
and neither will you. you refrain from saying that last bit.
he calls out your name. it's a warning. "we're trying to keep you safe."
"i understand that." you countered. and you want to spit in his face but you shove a carrot in your mouth instead, opting to crush it between your teeth. "but i'm not a pet to be kept on a leash."
his expression turns to stone. something in you tightens uncomfortably. poised to sprint, to run. you're poking the bear, you know it.
the air shifts. tides turning against you. suddenly, you truly understand Mr Hodge, truly understand the phrase 'surrounded by wolves'. slowly, one by one, you take in the subtle shift in each of them. all four gearing up to snap their teeth at you, to keep you pinned down if it comes to it and let the leader of the pack take the first bite.
you understand the gravity of your situation. that you shacked up with four dangerous individuals. men who have no qualms about pulling someone's teeth out of their gums or carving out a tongue. you don't know if ever they'd done that to someone but you don't put anything past them.
and you don't delude yourself into thinking that you'd never be on the receiving end of their wrath.
"i'd rather we not fight about this, love. i know it must be frustrating not to see your friends as much as you like." his placating tone only adds fuel to your fire. "but it's easier to keep you safe where can see you."
where we can see you. alarms ring. you narrow your eyes.
"easier to keep me safe or easier to control me?"
a knife clatters on the porcelin. "bonnie."
Gaz also attempts to place a bruised hand on top of yours, but you pull away. ignoring his silent plight entirely. the cut above his eyebrow pulls as his expression shifts.
"no, no— it's alright, boys." he raises a hand at them, a calm expression settling over his features as he looks at you. "darling, is that why you're upset? because you think we're keeping you caged?"
"i'm only calling out what i'm seeing." you state coldly, leaning back against your chair. "after all, i'm not unfamiliar with the bars of a golden cage."
the silence that follows is deafening. the Sergeants look at you in horror at the implication. Ghost looks like he's ready to throw the dinner plate across the room. Price remains unnervingly still, glowering at you.
"i am not your late husband." it's the coldest he's ever been to you.
and it feels like he's freezing the whole room over. blood roars to your ears faster than you can think and it almost makes you dizzy. the frantic beating of your heart tells you that you're risking too much, flying too high.
"none of us are." Ghost finally speaks up for the first time since he arrived. "we just want to keep you safe. we're not trying to imprison you."
sure doesn't feel like it.
"well," you start, "if i'm not a prisoner, then i guess i'm free to leave—"
"no." it's a sharp cut to your chest. your mouth snaps shut, eyes wide as his chair groans loudly when he suddenly stands. "you. stay. put. is that clear?"
there it is.
above Blair's voice, it's Price. and he's much louder.
you're losing my interest.
he holds your stare. unwaveringly so. unwilling to let you escape it. the cold turns to fractals turns to ice, frosting over your feet, keeping them stuck on the ground.
and that's very dangerous.
and you see it, him, for what he is. don't be difficult. far from the gentleman who opens the door for you and kisses your hand. don't be difficult. far from the bashful man who blushed at your mother's compliments. don't be difficult. far from John, who apologises for being too rough, for putting his hand on your neck, apologising for scaring you.
don't be difficult. don't be—
no. he's someone else. he's the man who stared down a frightened old man, asking if he should kill him for bringing him a shit deal. tell him you that the men who mugged you will get what's coming to them and it won't be pretty.
he's the man who put your husband in the ground. and he won't hesitate to do the same to you. so you lie down and surrender to his will. accepting whatever he says and accepting his demands, if only to live a second longer.
you grit your jaw, smiling through the strain in your teeth.
"crystal." it's sickly sweet, spoken with an edge as you dip your head in mock submission. "Captain."
your fork clutters loudly. Soap flinches at the noise, eyes wide as you catch his with your smile falling, revealing a dark expression as you stand up and walk away from the table.
later, when Price tries to open your door, he's not surprised to find it locked.
y'all really looked at the title and immediately assumed the worst? come on now😂 what do you take me for??🤭 also, can you tell that i'd been listening to Halsey and Sofia Isella while i was writing this?🙃
banners by @cafekitsune
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offer a note in the picklejar
#what's in the picklejar#mafia!141#mafia!price#mafia!ghost#mafia!gaz#mafia!soap#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick x female reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#john price x reader#john price x female reader#john soap mctavish x reader#john soap mctavish x you#x fem!reader#x female reader#call of duty x reader#call of duty x you#141 x reader#141 au#task force 141#cod x reader#cod x you#cod x female reader#🧇 anon#picklejar asks
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chicken shop date | ln
the one where your boyfriend gets invited to the chicken shop date and you’re not really happy about it.
lando norris x gender-neutral!reader
word count: ~1.1k
warnings: just reader being a tiny bit jealous and insecure & fluff at the end
note: based on this request. took me a little longer than it should had but i wanted to watch the interview before to know how to approach it, but hope you enjoy it!
"i'm just not really fond of the idea!" you huffed, sinking further into your boyfriend's couch, dramatically crossing your arms under your chest with pouty lips.
your reaction got a laugh out of lando and he let his body plop down next to you, looking over at your saddened expression with a soft smile on his lips.
"baby, come on. i'm gonna be late," he cooed, his fingers trying to reach for your chin to get you to look at him so he could give you a kiss goodbye, but you easily managed to turn your face in the opposite direction before his lips could touch yours.
this gesture got a sigh out of lando, making him drop his hand to your lap in defeat.
"it's gonna be alright," he said, his voice still sweet as he tried te reassure you, knowing that under your over dramatic reaction lied the anxiety of him getting even more popular.
just the previous evening, his team had informed him that he was scheduled for a new interview in the morning. when he finished telling you all about it after hanging up the phone, your eyebrows were furrowed and the pout you made hadn't left your face since that very moment.
the chicken shop date.
you usually watched the show, so you knew how big of an audience it had. it wasn't the fake dating part that worried you, but the huge amount of fans it would get him.
it was a little stupid, you knew, considering that he was one of the most popular faces of the sport. but you couldn't help the little insecurities that surfaced from time to time, thinking that he could find someone to replace you at any given minute.
lando's hand squeezed yours softly, making you get out of your mind and look back at him. he knew what you were thinking, so he gave you a reassuring smile before bringing your hand up to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to your knuckles. so you gave in.
"just don't be funny. or nice," you said, trying your best to forget about your worries and trust that nothing would change. "don't be cute, either."
"i can do that," lando chuckled, and with your hand still in his, he leaned closer to you to finally peck your lips.
"good, cause i don't want to share my boyfriend with any more people," you added, making him smile as he pulled away and got up from his spot next to you.
he found your overprotectiveness rather cute sometimes, and every single time he tried to comfort you, reminding you that you were the only one he wanted.
with your little act over, you looked up at his figure in front of you as he gathered his things before leaving the house. he looked extra good; you had noticed how the color of his hoodie was bringing out the blue of his eyes a few minutes earlier and how his curls were still a little damp from his shower, one of them perfectly falling over his forehead.
he turned to look at you one last time, leaning to kiss your forehead and whisper an "i love you" before he left the apartment in a rush, your little tantrum surely making him arrive a good couple of minutes late.
୨୧
lando had asked you to join him in australia so you could spend a few days exploring the city before he had to go back to work. and naturally, you had accepted.
as any other day, you woke up in his arms, limbs tangled under the bedsheets and your cheek softly pressed against his bare chest.
you lazily turned around, trying not to wake him up, to reach for your phone to check the time. that was your intention, but as you saw your phone blowing up with notifications, you remembered.
the episode had come out only a few hours earlier.
not wanting to spoil yourself scrolling on social media, you quickly opened youtube and looked it up, feeling a little uneasy once again. you weren't sure what you could expect, lando hadn't said much about it when he returned home that day.
you couldn't help the smile that creeped up to your lips the second he appeared on your screen, his soft spoken voice warming your heart and making you snuggle closer to him, your back against his chest now.
you felt the grip around your waist getting a little tighter, his knees tucking behind yours.
"are you serious?" his voice was hoarse, his breath on your skin as he hid his face on your neck.
"you didn't think i wouldn't watch, did you?" you giggled when he pulled you closer to him, only getting a soft groan from his lips as an answer.
he didn't say anything else, just kept pressing soft kissis to your skin as you finished watching the interview, your smile growing wider at his shyness.
once you were done, you put your phone down and turned around to face him again. your eyes met his under the soft morning light, the corners of your lips moving upwards at the beautiful sight in front of you.
"it wasn't that bad now, was it?" he whispered, clearly referring to your tantrum the day of the filming.
"it was fun," you admitted, running your fingers through his curls slowly.
he hummed, letting his eyelids flutter close once again at your touch.
"i'm still not happy about sharing my boyfriend with new people," you playfully added after a few seconds, the little pout on your lips, but lando was quick to kiss it away. "and i could've asked you those questions myself," you sassed, making him roll his eyes with a chuckle at your words.
"maybe you should go on a date with me if you want to ask me those questions so bad," he said, trying to nuzzle his face on your neck again to hide his smirk.
"smooth," you giggled, wrapping one of your legs around his body and pulling him a little closer to yours. "i'd love to go on a date with you, baby."
he smiled at your murmured answer, kissing your jaw before mumbling himself, "tomorrow night then?"
with a slight nod of your head, you hummed and let your eyes shut close to enjoy a couple more minutes in bed with your boyfriend before the alarm went off.
#lando norris#lando norris fluff#lando norris smut#lando norris blurb#lando norris drabble#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic
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boat ride — rafe cameron
summary: rafe making it up to you after arguing over his ex-girlfriend sofia.
warnings/notes: fluff, pogue reader but it's not like a big part of the plot, soft!rafe. genuinely think this might be the first time i’ve written something that isn’t sexual/suggestive for rafe 😭 i need help. but i’m trying to write more fluff for him :) if you have any requests please send them! <33 love u all sm. also thanks to @starkeysprincess, my baby, for giving me the idea of a cute boat date that inspired this idea in my head !!!! <3333
pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader
“i just don’t get why you still need her in your phone, and why she still stays texting your phone!” you get defensive while sat in your boyfriend passenger seat. this was the second time you’d gotten in an argument over his ex-girlfriend, sofia. you trusted rafe, if you didn’t you wouldn’t be with him, but the thing was that; you didn’t trust her. her little texts asking rafe ‘how he was’ or ‘if he was busy and wanted to come over', you’d had enough.
“really? you’re going to genuinely get upset over this?”, rafe scoffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. part of him thought it was funny, only because the thought of you thinking that he wanted anyone else was humorous to him. he literally wanted to marry you, and some random ex-girlfriend in his phone was the last thing on his mind.
“yes rafe,” your eyes widened, waiting for him to say something. “yes i am.”
“s’fuckin’ stupid.” his right hand gripped the wheel, pissed off that you were so upset about his ex still being in his phone despite him always shutting her down. the thing that made you so upset about the whole situation was the fact that he let her down in the nicest ways possible. 'sorry, can't make it. maybe another time." sorry? what the fuck was he sorry for? maybe another time? does he want to see her?
“take me home.” you give up. you couldn’t be bothered to argue with him over this right now. your point always went straight over his head.
“are you serious?”
“does it look like i’m joking?” you pretend to scavenge for something in your purse, embarrassed that this was the second time you had to bring up this issue with rafe. did he not love you enough to just listen to you and block her?
rafe didn’t say anything, but instead put his truck in drive and made his way to your house, it was a silent 10 minutes.
your argument with rafe was long gone, you didn’t bring it up and neither did he. the ignorance was bliss for you, you liked to hope that after dropping you off at home and watching you silently tear up in his truck that night, that maybe he went home and blocked sofia.
you knew that wasn’t what went down, but the thought of anything else happening made you sick. so, you figured never bringing it up again would be more beneficial, even though you wanted to so badly.
“wanna go for a boat ride?” rafe let his phone fall to his chest and let out a yawn, both his hands making their way up your thighs that were rested on his legs. you two had tanneyhill all to yourselves, and sitting on the living room couch both occupied in your own tiktok for you pages was how you’d spent your time so far.
“sure,” you reply softly. one thing you loved about dating a rich kook was getting to ‘casually’ take a boat ride.
“cmon.” rafe pulled you out of your slumped position on the couch. "gotta surprise for you."
you smiled at him, wondering what the surprise could be. rafe wasn't always the best with surprises and such, but the bug smile on his made you think that maybe this time it would be different. his eagerness reminded you of a little boy on christmas.
"after you ma'lady," rafe chuckled and put his arm out, signaling for you to make your way out to the dock before him. he followed after you, "close your eyes." he took both hands and wrapped them around your face, covering your eyes.
"rafe!" you giggle. almost losing your balance, your grip onto his big arms, feeling safe when they're wrapped around you.
"hey! no peeking."
"i cant! with your big ass hands in my face!" the huge grin on your voice could be heard just through your voice.
"m'kay, ready?" rafe gets closer to you, his chest pressed up against back, he leaves a kiss on your ear.
"yes!" you couldn't contain your excitement anymore, you needed to know what your boyfriend had planned for you.
rafe dropped his hands from your eyes, but you kept one arm wrapped around his, not wanting to let go of him.
you were speechless. the string lights set up perfectly, complimenting the pink and blue sky, the wicker basket filled with all your favorite snacks, the white blanket laid across the floor of the boat, the pink and red (your favorite colors) colored gift boxes set up neatly, just waiting for you to open them.
no one had ever done anything like this for you before, tears welt up in your eyes, you buried yourself in rafe's chest, leaving a few tear stains on his grey t-shirt.
"i love you baby," rafe gave you a quick peck on the head. your tears and reaction almost getting a reaction out of him. seeing you with the biggest grin on your face had rafe literally doing cartwheels in his head. he swore he'd never love someone as much as he loved you, but there he was, spending all his money and time trying to make you happy.
"all this for me rafey?" you looked up at him with teary eyes. puckering your lips, waiting for him to give you a kiss, he does of course.
"well who else would it be for?"
rafe's ego would never let himself admit that this was all because he felt bad for arguing over his ex-girlfriend, but you knew it was. rafe had a soft spot for you and you loved it.
"i love you rafe."
#library#divider by v6que#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron fluff
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Happy Birthday Malleus Draconia 💚💕
Summary: You kidnap Malleus Draconia.
Sebek knew it would be a tiring day when he saw a letter placed on his wardrobe table.
It had decorative little crocodiles and squirrels all over with his name written in your writing.
He could already feel a headache incoming.
He’ll wonder how you snuck into his room to place said letter later, he was more interested in the message you had to say.
“Dear Knight,
Your Lord has been kidnapped. He is mine for the day.
Mwah~
YN”
Sebek rushed out of his room, running to the Diasomnia waiting room where his lord would sit and enjoy tea at this time.
…only to be met with a giggling Lilia and a napping Silver.
“YN!”
“Did you have to tease Sebek?”
“It’s all in good fun Tsunotaro.”
“I see.”
While Malleus ponders your answer, you plopped down right next to him on the couch.
“What does this…kidnapping entail?”
You could tell Malleus was humoring you. He found this whole situation funny and yet intriguing.
“For you? Just sit there look pretty and enjoy all the snacks, games, and movies I have.”
Malleus laughed lowly, “YN, I do have duties to fulfill. I can’t just sit here.”
You shrugged, “One day without work won’t bring down your dorm. Besides, all work and no play make dragons go cranky.”
Malleus laughed freely and you joined him this time, “Is that so? Then I shall join in this activity with you.”
You laid the nearby comforter over you and Malleus before starting your T.V.
It would be a good day; you would make sure of it.
“This warrior does not speak?”
“Kind of. He talks he’s just not voice acted, but he does make sounds when you attack with him.”
“Interesting. A silent and courageous warrior who will save his kingdom and the princess.”
“Reminds you of someone?”
“This Link reminds me of Silver. They share many similar qualities.”
You joked, “Are you the princess then?”
“I am a prince, am I not?” Malleus replied, before softly continuing, “and Silver has saved me, from myself.”
You bumped your shoulder with his, “That’s love for you.”
“Yes, it is.”
“That crocodile and that pirate…”
“Funny, isn’t it?”
“Yes, especially as Kingscholar dressed as one during Halloween.”
“Does the crocodile remind you of Sebek?”
The glint in Malleus' eyes answered your question.
You can only imagine Sebek's reaction if he knew, “Well with the way Sebek is always barking at Leona, I can't blame you for thinking it.”
Ah, you were going to hold this over Sebek's head forever.
“Those fairies should have never been given the child.”
“Yeah…”
“They haven’t properly fed her, even Lilia knew to feed a baby!”
“Yeah.”
“She almost fell off the cliff!”
“I know. They suck.”
You tugged at Malleus’ hair, “At least she had someone to take care of her, two of them in fact.”
Malleus calmed down knowing exactly to whom you referred, “Yes, those days were filled with laughter and warmth even amidst the chaos. How…nostalgic.”
Malleus leaned towards you; a mischievous glint in his eyes, it reminded you of a certain pink-streaked fae, “Want to hear an embarrassing story grandmother told me about Lilia?”
“Yes! I’m all ears!”
You watched as Tsunotaro enjoyed Toothless and Hiccup's adventures.
You knew he would like this series.
You wondered how Sam had the trilogy.
…you would question him thoroughly later.
You were content to watch Tsunotaro be happy.
His family is never far from his thoughts as he is never far from theirs.
You felt happy to be part of his family.
“YN, is there a reason to why we are making cupcakes this late at night?”
He didn’t know.
You hid your smile as you put the tray of goodies into the oven.
Malleus must have enjoyed his day if he forgot why tonight would be special.
“Anytime is a good time for cupcakes, just like how you can have ice cream even during winter.”
“I thought it was easier for human’s teeth to decay due to late night sugary treats?”
“We’ll be fine! Just make sure to brush your teeth and don’t tell Trey -senpai.”
You went over to the nearby drawer. The confetti poppers were there as planned, just a few more minutes before the time came, so you snuck them into your pocket discreetly.
“Let’s go play more Zelda.”
You and Malleus moved towards the lounge; you eyed the hallway clock on the way.
Less than a minute.
You took out the poppers from your pocket.
“Malleus?”
“Yes?”
You pulled the poppers out just as he entered the ramshackle lounge.
3…2…1
“Happy Birthday (Lord) Malleus!”
Malleus was shocked as confetti rained on him from all sides.
Lilia, Silver, Sebek, and you surrounded him as the day turned over.
His surprised face broke into a wide smile before an unrestrained joyous laughter filled the lounge.
What a beautiful start to today.
The day Malleus Draconia was born.
A day filled with endless love.
Happy Birthday Malleus.
Resounded affectionately in all the hearts of everyone present.
May you always be filled with happiness and love.
Bonus:
Silver came to you as you watch Lilia bear hug Malleus. It was funny how someone so petite wrapped all four limbs on someone so tall.
Silver hesitated.
You knew.
“He baked a cake, didn’t he?”
Silver sighed, “Yes. We tried to stop him.”
You laughed and shook your head.
“It’s okay. Toxic waste it might be, but it is something Lilia made with him in mind. Malleus will love it nonetheless.”
You bumped shoulders with Silver, whispering, “We made cupcakes.”
Silver’s grateful smile had you hugging him.
No one will get food poisoning today, not on your watch.
You hoped.
☺️🌺🌸💚
#twisted wonderland x reader#malleus draconia x reader#twst x you#twst malleus draconia x reader#malleus draconia#twst x reader#lilia vanrouge#twst silver#malleus x reader#sebek zigvolt#twst malleus draconia#twisted wonderland x you#silver vanrouge#x reader#twst scenarios#twst drabbles#twst imagines#twst#malleus draconia x yuu#twst x mc#malleus draconia x you#could be platonic or romantic#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland
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picturing Dustin watching at the trailer park, right after Eddie says, “Hey, Steve? Make him pay.”
And for some reason Dustin’s reminded of ‘84, of his conversation with Steve on the railroad tracks, it’s like before it’s gonna storm, you know? You can’t see it, but you can feel it, like this, uh... electricity, you know?—although he’s grown enough to suspect that Steve might not know everything in that regard.
And it’s not electricity he senses, not exactly, but it’s definitely a storm of some kind: something fragile. Something—someone—that’s very scared.
Dustin’s running before he’s even registered his decision. “Steve!”
Steve turns around, and he already looks like he’s about to ask a question—something practical, like whether Dustin’s forgotten something—and Dustin feels a twist of regret, that that’s where Steve’s mind goes; yeah, they’re all ready for battle, so it makes sense, but…
Feeling suddenly very young, Dustin barrels into Steve and hugs him.
He hears Steve’s surprised inhale, his hesitancy, before he returns the hug in full force.
For a little while, it’s like the world narrows down to only this. No ash in the air, no nightmarish red in the sky. Just the two of them.
Dustin’s about to pull away when he feels Steve’s chin dig into the top of his head. Hears him sniff, very quietly, like he’s trying to hide it; and that makes Dustin think of the tunnels, or afterwards, really, when Steve held onto him with shaking hands, kept saying, “We’re okay, we’re okay.”
So he just keeps hugging back.
Steve’s the one to let go; he’s smiling, but he looks a little sad too, forehead creased with worry.
“I need a ride tomorrow,” Dustin says.
Steve huffs. “Oh, yeah? Where to?”
Dustin taps his nose obnoxiously. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
It’s bullshit, of course; Dustin doesn’t need a ride anywhere.
Steve rolls his eyes, but some tightness in his jaw finally eases. “God, you’re such a dick.”
“Bright and early, Steve!” Dustin adds smugly. “Five am!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Steve says, waving him off, and for a moment it’s like they’re just in the school parking lot. He looks as if he’s about to say something else, then thinks better of it—glances back to where Robin and Nancy are waiting. He pulls Dustin in with one arm, a brief but tight hold. Nods, as if to himself. “Go on, scram.”
Dustin runs back to the trailer with a stitch in his side but a smile on his face. He knows it’s naive to think he can fix everything, but in this moment at least some part of the universe has been righted, even while in The Upside Down.
Eddie’s standing right where he left him, like he’s been frozen the whole time.
“Hey,” he says quietly. “is he, uh… is he okay?”
Dustin’s reminded that of course, Steve isn’t the only one who’s scared.
“Yeah, he will be,” he says, which he thinks is a more accurate answer than a simple yes or no.
It’s funny how life works, he muses while gathering supplies for the trailer defences. There’s no way he’d have thought even a week ago that Eddie would be sincerely asking him about Steve’s well-being. Whenever he happened to bring Steve up at Hellfire, Eddie would imitate him in a comedic falsetto, “Oh, Steve this, Steve that.”
For a minute, Eddie remains rooted to the spot, still staring in the direction of where Steve went—like he’d watched helplessly as Steve walked into the eye of a storm or something.
“You just gonna stand there and gawk?” Dustin says.
Eddie snorts. “So rude, Henderson.”
And it’s not like Dustin really knows, not when Steve and Eddie are still barely dancing around it themselves. Still, he can pick up on some things.
Like when they’ve finished setting up everything, waiting for the go-ahead for Eddie to start playing his guitar—to pass the time, they recount the high points of the day, keep it light. It’s a practice Eddie used to implement after campaigns.
And look, Dustin’s damn good at picking up on patterns. Like, he loves Steve, but he’s pretty sure the reality of him driving the hotwired RV doesn’t quite match up to how Eddie’s currently waxing lyrical about it.
He’s making it sound like it was something outta James Bond, Dustin thinks, when he’s sure Steve drove right into several trash cans.
Suddenly he knows exactly what he should do.
“Steve this, Steve that,” he sing-songs.
Eddie flushes; Dustin cackles.
“Fuck off,” Eddie says, but he’s smiling as Dustin keeps laughing, like he knows there’s nothing mean-spirited in it. He keeps going, Steve this, Steve that, talking right over Dustin’s teasing—somehow finding even more moments where Steve truly shines.
And Dustin doesn’t know everything, not even close, but at the very least, he knows that this feels right.
#i just love writing perceptive Dustin#think it’s partly the thought that “you’re my brother and I love all of you”#steddie with dustin’s pov#dustin henderson fic#steve and dustin#eddie and dustin#steddie#pre steddie#steddie ficlet#implied steddie#steve x eddie#dustin henderson ficlet#dustin henderson#steve harrington#eddie munson#henderfam
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sore loser — (a. donaldson/p. zweig)
summary: you're just trying to enjoy your lunch, but you can practically feel the two pairs of eyes on you | content/warning: reader also plays tennis, reader is kinda mean but not really.
You absent-mindedly poked your fork into the leftover piece of lasagna as your head rested in your other hand. You had lost your appetite the minute you set foot off the court today, but you knew you needed to at least try and get something in your stomach. You had taken a few big bites until the frustration of losing set in.
You let out a defeated sigh, dropping your fork and raising your head from your palm, looking around the cafeteria. It was basically empty except for a few people here and there quietly eating. Your eyes caught sight of two boys sitting by the window table, their seats practically turned to your direction. When their eyes caught yours, they smiled. The one on the right lifted his hand in greeting, his blonde friend quickly following suit.
You gave them a wave, sparing a small smile before your eyes went back to your tray. You figured you weren't going to finish the food, so you quickly grabbed your backpack, throwing it over your shoulder before taking your tray to the bin. At first, you hadn't even noticed the two boys joining you, one on either side as they disposed of their trays as well.
You took a step back, watching as the two turned around, eyes set on you. You spared them another small smile out of kindness before readjusting your bag on your shoulder and making your way to your dorm. You were barely outside until you were stopped by someone shouting your name, turning around to find the same dark-haired boy, his friend soon following.
"We saw you play today," he said once you had stopped walking and they were close enough. "You're really good," the blonde added with a smile. You knew him; you've seen him play and remember your roommate gushing over how cute he was. He was cute. They both were, you thought now that you got a good look at them.
"I lost," you retorted, reminded of the reason for your foul mood a while ago. "Doesn't mean you're not good." You looked up at the boy with the dark hair, trying to see if he was just trying to be funny. He had a small smirk playing on his face, his eyes darting down to your mouth before they met your eyes again.
"Thank you," you said, sparing both of them a look before focusing your eyes back on the dark-haired one. "Do you go here?" you asked. "Uh, no," he said, smile faltering for a split second before pointing his thumb back at his friend, "but he does."
"I know," you smiled, "I've watched a few of his games." Art couldn't help but smile at that, a bashful look on his face. "I'm Patrick, by the way," the other boy said, causing your eyes to shift back to him. You shook his hand. "Do you play, Patrick?" you asked. He nodded, and you nodded along absent-mindedly before sucking air through your teeth. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Patrick. And nice seeing you, Art," you said before adjusting your bag's strap again.
"Are you going to tonight's party?" Art asked and you turned around once again. "Would you like me to go?" you asked. "I'd like to see you again," he replied. "We both would," Patrick added. "You both wanna see me?" you asked as they nodded in unison. You laughed at that, your lips pursing in thought. "Okay, I'll be there," you said before making your way back to your dorm.
✰ ⊹ ˚. part 2
#challengers#challengers x reader#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson x you#art donaldson#patrick zweig x reader#patrick zweig x you#patrick zweig#likedovesinthewindd
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