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karenninaaa · 5 years

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Heartbeat and Memories in a Bottle

(Post-endgame fix it fic)

Read it on ao3

Summary: They tried to live in a world without him. Until one day, they started to see a glimpse of a man they thought was already dead. ENDGAME SPOILERS

Peter Parker decided that it was easier to pretend rather than to live in the moment. It was easier to go through the halls of his school and just smile at everyone who greeted him. It was easier to give Aunt May a kiss on the cheek and ask her how her day went before she could ask the same thing to him. And if she did ask, there were always the pre-made answers he could choose from. Ranging from, it’s good –his most common answer. So sometimes he had to switch up to, I had a great day, our teachers were giving us lots of homework and project, I am fine, just tired –that was one of his favorites if he didn’t want to talk at all, especially if a particular day had been so overwhelming.

Because, sometimes, when Peter would look around him and see how everything looked so normal and everyone was at peace, at last, that was when he was going to notice the void in him. Then there was the worst part. The worst part was he had to go out of the streets and see someone’s face everywhere.

Tony Stark was everywhere.

For months, the tributes for him were flooding, from social media to the news, from the Iron Man statues in some places to his pictures plastered left and right celebrating his name, remembering his heroic deed to save the universe.

And sometimes, remembering hurt. The void in him, probably bigger than his entire being, ached so badly and it overwhelmed him. It had been six months since Tony saved the universe but for Peter, he was always stuck in the time where he witnessed how Iron Man’s arc reactor flickered and shut off.

Mr. Stark, we won. . .

I’m sorry.

“Mr. Parker! Are you still with us?”

Peter looked up, a little bit startled. Ms. Brandt, his history teacher was looking at him with a stern expression. He glanced around to see that his classmates were looking back at him.

He sat up straighter. “Y-yeah, I am. . .”

“Then can you answer my question?”

“W-what was the question again?”

The class erupted in laughter. Then the bell rang before Ms. Brandt could silence them.

Instead, Ms. Brandt sighed in resignation. “Alright, class dismissed. We’ll continue the lesson next meeting. And Parker, would you stay for a sec?”

Peter froze as the students around him shuffled and one by one left the room. He remained seated, slightly dreading what was about to happen. Was he going to get detention now because he wasn’t listening to the class? Well, admittedly, there were several occasions that he zoned out on Ms. Brandt’s class. It was just that Ms. Brandt had a habit of correlating the past events with the present and there were a lot of things in the present that he didn’t want to hear or trying to avoid hearing. Peter’s brain must have subconsciously blocked it as a defense mechanism.

“Mr. Parker.” Ms. Brandt called when it was just the two of them in the room. She sat on the table in the front.

Peter exhaled and stood up. He slung his backpack on his shoulder and made his way to Ms. Brandt.

“Am I in trouble?” Peter asked when he reached her. “Is there something wrong?”

Ms. Brandt clasped her hands together on the table and gazed up at him. “I think I should be the one asking that question, Mr. Parker. Is there something wrong? Don’t think I haven’t noticed how your head was always somewhere far away when you’re in my class.” She paused. “You know, with the recent happenings, I am hyperaware on how some students are still traumatized-”

“I am good. Ms. Brandt.” The answer came faster than Peter would have expected it. His tongue and his brain knew what to do when things like that popped out.

Ms. Brandt just looked at him in sympathy that Peter had to look away. It made him sick. People who knew what he had lost always looked that way at him. Though, Ms. Brandt wasn’t aware of any of that.

“Peter, teaching was my job and it was also my job to help my students. We have counseling-”

“I swear Ms. Brandt, I’m okay.” Peter glanced back and looked at her steadily in the eyes, just to prove how okay and calm he was. He clasped his hands behind his back to avoid fidgeting. He tried to hide the restlessness in his eyes. Though, there were dark circles underneath it. He swallowed down the lump in his throat so he wouldn’t stutter and his voice wouldn’t break. He learned that a still composure always did the trick on adults when they were trying to dissect him on the spot.

Ms. Brandt stared at him some more before she relented. “Alright, Mr. Parker, but next time I see you not paying attention in my class, you’ll go straight to the detention. I just wanted you to know that you’re not the first student I’ve talked about this and it’s okay not to be okay and to tell someone about it. We were all not okay at some point and talking it out usually helps. That’s all, you may go, Mr. Parker.”

“Yeah, I appreciate your concern, Ms. Brandt. Thank you.” Peter turned around and walked out of the classroom.

An empty and silent hallway greeted him. Some students must have gone to their classes. It was his lunch break so Ned must be in the cafeteria waiting for him. As he made his way through the corridor and to the cafeteria, he thought about what Ms. Brandt had said. He didn’t agree with some of her points. Talking it out didn’t always help. He tried before. He tried talking it out with Aunt May. But all it did was worry her to no end and after all that she had been through, he couldn’t give her another burden to carry on her shoulder. He tried to do the same with Pepper. Though, it was an unintentional breakdown when everything felt so heavy suddenly and Pepper’s voice was just so soft and comforting and he let his walls break down. Pepper was also worried. With all the things that she had in mind, worrying over him who wasn’t even blood related was maybe too much.

Even then, even when he talked about the emptiness and the loneliness, it didn’t help at all. All those ugly feelings did not lessen. Instead, it had gotten heavier each day. Nothing in him felt better.

Nothing would help him feel better because no one could be able to bring Mr. Stark back. No one and nothing.

Peter faltered in his steps as his vision got blurry. Then their tears were falling from his eyes like waterfalls. He tried to stop it really, but the more he did, the more those damn tears wouldn’t stop falling. His shoulder shook as a soft sob escaped his lips.

And it hurt all over again.

Please, Mr. Stark, just come back.

I can’t handle the pain anymore.

How do I make the pain to stop?

I am so so so tired.

His phone in his jeans’ pocket vibrated, startling him. He immediately wiped his face and fished out his phone from his pocket. Pepper was video-calling him. He frowned. She knew that he had school. He immediately answered it.

Instead of Pepper, Morgan’s face appeared on the screen. Her ever-cheerful voice resonated in the silent hallway. “Hi, Petey!!”

“H-hi, Mo,” He tried to match her enthusiastic voice. “W-what’s up, why are you calling, something’s wrong?”

Morgan hummed as she shook her head. “I am in Mommy’s office. Mommy had a meeting and I was with Uncle Happy but he was outside to take some calls. I got bored and I saw Mommy’s phone on her desk so I called you.”

Peter couldn’t help but smile at her adorableness. “So Pepper took you to her work huh?”

She hummed again this time in agreement. “She said that we’re going to get ice cream after her work. I’m excited.” She giggled.

“Aww, I am jealous. I wish I could get ice cream with you too.”

Her face suddenly lit up as if she remembered something. Her voice was rushed and excited. She moved her face closer to the screen and whispered. “Petey, Petey, do you want to know a secret?”

“What secret?”

“Mommy and I are going to New York to visit you!”

His smile got even wider. “Really, you’re going here?”

She bobbed her head up and down. Then she frowned. “But Mommy said it was a surprise. That was why it was a secret. Will you still be surprised if you see us there?”

Peter threw his head back in laughter.

“Morgan?”

“Oopsie.” Then the screen went black though the call was still connected and Peter could still hear voices from their line.

“Who are you talking to?” It was Happy’s voice. His voice was gentle and curious, far from the grumpy Happy that Peter used to hear before. He was surely wrapped around her little finger.

“Uhmmm, Petey?”

“Come on, give me that phone. Peter has school so he shouldn’t be bothered. He needs to study first.” Happy said.

Then the screen revealed Happy’s face. “Hey, squirt.”

“What’s up, Happy?”

“Are you in class?”

“No, it was lunchtime so it’s okay,” Peter assured them.

Happy nodded and looked at his side. He appeared to be crouching down as Morgan was sitting to a chair beside him. “Morgie, say bye to Peter.”

“Bye, Petey! See you soon.” She gave him a flying kiss.

“Bye squirt.”

Then the call ended.

Peter let out another breath. Maybe Tony was listening somewhere and heard his pleas so he sent a little angel to make him a little bit better. Well, it was effective.

He resumed walking down to the cafeteria.

Nothing had changed much on Peter’s routine after his class. He still did patrols but there wasn’t much activity during his patrols. Sure, there were still petty criminals but they were mostly easy to catch. He guessed that even some of the bad guys were still reeling from the recent events.

He stopped by the pedestrian lane waiting for the traffic light to turn red so he could walk towards the other side of the street. He was going to change into his Spider-Man suit and start his patrol. He stood there waiting as he shoved his hands in the front pockets of his hoodie. He had his earphones in. His head was bobbing up and down with the music. His eyes were wandering around idly.

That’s when his eyes locked on someone on the other side of the street.

He paled.

He couldn’t breathe.

He was seeing a ghost.

On the other side of the street, Peter was looking at Tony Stark.

No, no, no, it wasn’t him, right?

The man was wearing a cap and shabby clothes: navy blue plaids and red vest partnered with jeans. Not the usual type of clothes that someone like Tony would wear. Sure. His face couldn’t be seen clearly because of his cap. He was looking around as if he was trying to figure something out from the towering buildings and the never-ending crowd and chaotic streets of Queens.

Maybe, it was his heightened vision. Maybe it was because Peter wouldn’t be able to forget Tony’s face ever. Maybe because he was hallucinating and his grief was making him see Tony everywhere. Maybe it was the lack of sleep that was why his eyes were playing tricks on him. Maybe it was his desperation just to see Tony again because he sorely missed him. All the maybes and logical reasoning were screaming at him but they weren’t enough to outweigh the urgency to know.

The traffic light turned red. People crossed the pedestrian. Peter ran.

He tried to dodge people left and right as he got caught in between the mob of people.

“Mr. Stark!” He tried to shout but his voice was caught in his throat. His chest was suddenly constricting.

Peter could see a glimpse of him in between the bodies that were trying to push him in a different direction. Before Peter could get a proper look on his face and before he could reach the other end of the pedestrian, the man turned and started walking away.

“No,” Peter gritted out. “Excuse me, please. Mr. Stark!”

Peter reached the sidewalk. But the man was gone. He craned his neck looking around wildly as he tried to retrace the steps that the man had probably gone through.

But the man was nowhere to be found.

As if he didn’t exist just a minute ago.

And Peter’s short-lived hope ended right there.

But if there was one thing that wouldn’t end, it was the tears and the ache. They would haunt Peter as long as he lived.

And boy, Peter was tired of going through the torturous cycle all over again.

#endgame fic #endgame #post-endgame fic #fix-it fic #tony stark #pepper potts #morgan stark #peter parker #harley keener #karennina writes

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nickireadstfc · 7 years

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The Raven King: A Summary – The Plot Twist King

Shocks and revelations! Sassfests! Backstory awesomeness! Team spirit! The Josten Glow Up™! Me losing my shit! But most importantly – plot.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to sum up The Raven King.

In 2013, now-renowned author Nora Sakavic blessed us with The Raven King, book two of the All For The Game trilogy. In this second installment of orange gay sporty murder shit, ex-runaway, part-time sassmaster, and all-time Exy nerd Neil Josten meets the Edgar Allan Ravens, a team that is exactly as dark and fucked-up as their completely unsubtle name suggests.

Especially Neil has reason to fear them: Star player Riko Moriyama, also known as That Fucker™, and his father Tetsuji are Neil's crime lord father's crime lord bosses and are exactly 0% fooled by his runaway act. However, as Neil is a 100% impulsive savage sassmaster, he consistently picks fights with them anyways, which Riko repays by revealing his true identity to Kevin.

But that's not all there is. Just when the Foxes' start to form some actual team spirit and real friendships, our heroes experience the shock of the century: At the Hemmick's family Thanksgiving, goalie, snarkmaster and court-approved maniac Andrew Minyard is raped by his long-time childhood abuser Drake. In his brother’s defense, Aaron rushes in and kills Drake - a ruse set up by Riko Moriyama.

In order to free his boyfriend teammate from the Moriyama-bribed doctors Andrew was sent to for rehab, Neil agrees to spend Christmas with the Ravens, which is exactly Not A Fun Time. There, he is tortured, abused, cut, burnt, tattooed against his will and generally made to look as if he had a fun encounter with a meat chopper. Bruised and beaten, Neil returns home to his Fox family and swears everlasting vengeance on The Raven Fuckers.

And that’s The Raven King for you.

Did I like it? Hell fucking yes.

Did I prefer it to the first book? Hell fucking yes.

Seriously, The Foxhole Court was wonderful, all good things in there, all the exposition a girl could want, but The Raven King was where shit finally, finally started going down.

There was PLOT. There were brain-mushing twists and jaw-dropping revelations, breath-stopping shocks and heart-clenching emotional moments galore.

This, as predicted last time, was the book where the arc of suspense picks up speed. It’s a basic - but effective - trilogy setup: The first book sets the scene, introduces the theme and the characters and gets the reader invested in the story. The second book dishes out the truly gripping plot points, keeping the reader at it and paving the way for the big finale. Finally, the third book is where shit truly goes down: Here, the last big twists are revealed and everything culminates in an epic finale.

It is Every Trilogy Ever, and it works like a fucking charm.

Personal highlights of this book include, but are not limited to:

THE FALL BANQUET SASSFEST. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. I will probably never shut up about this ever. "Dan, I said please" honestly ICONIC.

"I don't think Riko likes me very much"

The second banquet, but for entirely different reasons - reasons being Neil's newfound guard dog attitude and my newfound tears

Renee’s backstory can I get a hell yeah

Nicky teaching Neil how to cellphone uhmmm sign me the eff up

THEY FINALLY HAVE TEAMWORK AND DO STUFF TOGETHER MY LITTLE HUFFLEPUFF HEART CAN'T HANDLE THIS

Thanksgiving. We don't talk about Thanksgiving but. Honestly that chapter.

The very last two chapters scared the crap out of me but honestly, they were so well-written and so amazing so suck it I'm including them here seriously they were so good

DADMACK

Same as last time, but updated: Opinions on characters!

Neil is still my son, but wow, introducing Son 2.0 in the Updated Version: Now featuring Facing Your Problems, Dealing With Shit and Actual Responsibility! With a guaranteed 20% less emo and 100% more awesome! Buy now, get one punch in the Raven jaw for free. No, seriously, Fearless Neil Josten is my favourite Neil Josten. He is right on the same level as Sassmaster McSavage Neil Josten, followed by Responsible Neil Josten, with Angsty Dramatic Runaway Neil Josten coming in last. (Sorry, book 1.)

Andrew has risen through the ranks of my favourites faster than mentos in a coke bottle. I LOVE HIM. Thanksgiving has cemented this. He is my small gay angry knife murder son and I will protect him five-fucking-ever. He is the main reason I am hella excited for TKM because Andrew!! Off!! His!! Meds!!! Imma pass out I'm so excited.

Kevin has definitely improved as well – the awesome 'I Have Adopted This Team And I Will Make Them Great, Suck My Dick Riko' scene, anyone?

Nicky has won back my heart for good by now - the Teaching Neil How To Phone Incident has definitely rid him of any and all past mistakes in my book. Also, he is the fuck precious and continues to bring sunshine into all our bleak lives.

Aaron has gained mad, mad sympathy points in this book. He suddenly has a PERSONALITY, you guys. Also, the Thanksgiving incident. THE THANKSGIVING INCIDENT. Anyone hating on Aaron from this point on can fight me. Also Katelyn is an a+ cutiepie.

My opinions on Renee, Matt and Dan are pretty much the same as before, if heightened by the reveal of all of their awesome backstories. An ex-street gangster, an ex-junkie and an ex-stripper all loving and supporting each other and being their own family?? Sign me the fuck up.

The only one I'm still kind of 'meh' about is Allison. Where's her backstory. Pls. I want it.

Wymack, Abby and Betsy are the Fox Parent Triumvirate, my opinion on them hasn't changed either. Also Dadmack!

And my opinion on Riko and his bastard posse should be clear. Kind of split on Jean (he's a victim etc etc, still doesn't excuse him imo, but maybe he’ll become more likeable later), but that's about it.

Let's take a look at some predictions I made last time, shall we?

They’ll deal with Seth’s death – some better, some worse pretty much exactly sums it up, go me

The banquet thing will happen and it will be hella awkward and hilarious and something Super Dramatic And Important will happen OH MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD OH MY OH MY

Neil will master the Raven drills Kevin is making him do and it will be EPIC so he did pass them apparently, but I actually had to read back on this to be sure, sooo - no epicness. instead: heavier racquets! when will Kevin chill, the answer is never

Andreil will continue having Important Gay Moments™ uhmmm hECK YES lotsa andreil in this book, ya girl is happy

The “Kevin and Riko know Neil” situation will not be addressed (!) (I’m expecting that to be in the last book, near the final epic smackdown) GIRL YOU WERE EXPECTING WRONG BAHAHAHA

Neither will we meet Neil’s father (again, last book) ok I'm sticking with this tbh

However, we will meet Tetsuji and shit will go down oh hon

Also, we’ll meet some Ravens I suppose, since it is the Raven King after all "WE WILL MEET SOME RAVENS, I SUPPOSE" oh HON OH HON

We will find out Renee’s backstory y e e e s

We will find out something – if maybe not everything – about the Minyard-Hemmick backstory Y E E E E E E E E S oh dear

Some more kisses will happen. I don’t care who kisses whom. Probably not Andreil (yet). Let it be Abby and Wymack. Aaron and his irrelevant girlfriend. I don’t care. Give me kisses. excuse you, "irrelevant" psshh, but yeah that's the only kisses in this book :(

And because I don't learn from my mistakes, let's do this one last time - Shit I Think Will Happen In The Kings Men:

HANDS UP FOR CANON ANDREIL I'm sorry, I know this is happening, tumblr told me :/

Will they kiss tho?? Will they have actual love declarations?? Sexy times maybe even????? WHO KNOOOOOOWS

I will love the USC Trojans 1000% if they are huffy puffs I will love them

Someone's gotta die who are we kidding

Hopefully no one of our guys

We will finally get that sweet Allison backstory (come on girl don't let me down)

We will meet Neil's dad. This cannot not happen.

Some championship shit will happen in which the Foxes either a) win or b) don't win but The Real Prize Was The Friendships We Made Along The Way

Nicky's bullshit dad will get the court case he deserves (if this doesn't happen I'm the fuck quitting)

Cats are probably important somewhere

Phew. That's it for this book, then. As always, thank you guys are so much for sticking with me through this. You are the backbone, the spirit, the motivation of this blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

See you soon with the third - and final - book. I am not ready.

If you like what I do here and you want to help me continue writing (still working on that laptop), please consider buying me a coffee! Thank you so much <33

#nicki reads tfc #aftg #tfc #trk #the raven king #the foxhole court #all for the game #two days late this time bc life is STRESS im sorry #come hmu in my ask box if you like these!!!#kinda unsure abt the format aha ha ha #ily all have a great day/evening/night

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