#true love never fails

[ashotasfireandasdeepastheocean1]

"The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you, the world is transformed."

~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

...❤️

.

#jiddu krishnamurti #old souls love deeply #tLomL #mkG #true love never fails

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS. #ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY.. #i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them. #but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore. #but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow. #ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks- #-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl- #-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!! #anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

[geminison]

Serkonos didn’t change that much. Grass is still tall and yellow and storms still come at the end of spring, bringing salt to the air. It doesn’t smell of rot, only salt and dry weeds

#melancholy on the house #dishonored #daud #art tag #i sat down to rewatch true detective and it never fails to put me in special kind of mood #not going to say it’s my favourite thing but there’s something about this series that i love #anyway!! #damn it look so bleak on my laptop screen. shit

[scintillyyy]

honestly, though. sometimes when the drakes are discussed it does seem a little "oh, they never would never do <insert terrible fanon trait here>, they just <insert a different trait they....also never really did and is actually kind of contradicted by canon? here>"

#honestly i'm usually fairly forgiving about the second because i'm sure i'm guilty of it too lmao #and it's also like. that's usually more of personal intepretation/reading thing which should have different viewpoints #variety is the spice of life and all #& i like defending the drakes AND talking about how they failed #but sometimes the thing that is confidently stated they do instead is something canon directly contradicts. #they never would force feed him something he's allergic to #they would just have super strict expectations of his behavior & not be affectionate #meanwhile the expectations are limited to don't wear a t-shirt to a wedding rehearsal and jack is shown hugging tim like every 5 issues #(and janet is dead and can have no expectations but the only time we see her she's like “you can be whatever you want to be sweetie :)”) #and they are shown having a very iconic outing with him and they treat him nice & want him to have a good time & are very loving #i too want to swing the pendulum the other way but that second one does apply to both good and bad traits lmao #“jack was just trying to get close to his son” well. no he really wasn't. #or “jack never cared about his son & never tried to listen to him” well that's not exactly true either #god i love them. my polarizing flawed family.

[thefreshprinceofjunes]

you know. as much as i love rikus unyielding devotion to sora. part of me wonders how hes been, like, surviving in the year without him.

has he been doing anything else in his life besides looking for sora?

will riku need to have some sort of revelation in the future about his own importance and self-worth separate from sora, in a similiar vein to pearl from su?

bc like

a lot of pearls character arc feels... relevant. to riku. or at least, it could be.

idk like. im well aware sora and rikus relationship is leagues healthier than rose and pearls. and sora is a much better person than rose was. but i just. 

i see a lot of pearl in riku at times

#kingdom hearts #riku #riku kh #kh riku #soriku #kh3 #kh3 spoilers #steven universe #long post #image heavy post #kh meta #ali's kh meta #like i wouldnt be surprised if kh just played it all straight and never went deeper into the harm of being dedicated solely to one person #keeping with the ideals of true love and fairytales #but at the same time it seems like they were /trying/ to somewhat deconstruct sora in kh3 #with his 'my friends are my power' thing failing after everyones lost and him losing confidence in himself as a result #so who knows #anyway we stan our gay autistic knights on this blog #(i stan pearl significantly less than riku but i still love her)

[odysseys-blood]

literally how i feel any time i read this line. absolutely NOT

i think he's a great mirror type character for the mc depending on how much you draw on the default ra-on and their characterization, but more specifically their feeling of inferiority to solomon (which i take for my mc loyal). both the mc and bael are stuck filling in for a role for a king that neither feels they're well equipped for or were even born to hold and the fact that bael's so used to taking the fall that he's automatically ready to do it for you too is just. man. orz

#cliffnotes/.txt #whb #bael whb #its so...augh he makes me so sad #ik itll probably take forever to get to avisos since the promised chapter 6 hasnt even released yet #but waiting so patiently to pick bael apart (not really patient (vibrating like a chihuahua)) #bael and mc spiderman pointing meme #god and both being like an imperfect copy #just similar enough to pass off as a fraud but so very different at the same time #and bc of that they'll never be true replacements #though the mc isnt even supposed to be one its like #the moment of disappointment almost everyone has shown when they realize its not solomon #even if they change tunes and bounce back quickly its there #happy to meet you but still upset its not him #and the underlying expectation that it *should* be him at first #like how it should be beel in avisos. but its not #both get a good amount of reassurance and support from those around them tho i will say its nicd #esp after seeing how the rest of avisos' camp feels abt bael #they love him and trust in him so much even though he always feels like hes failing them just by not being the king #he does so much and still feels like itll never be enough #ok now im just rambling its time to be quiet before i write an essay in here

[lovinnelily]

Y'all do know you can't make Jason be NOT white without changing his whole character, right?

For other characters, yes, because their physical appearance are not that influential in their story, on how they are viewed by people, on their personality formation — you can have a black/asian/indigenous/arab/brown/latino/etc Nico and yes, the hate he gets will have a undertone of racism but at the same time nothing significant on his story, motivation or personality will need to change. This is also true for other characters: Clarisse risks repeating the "aggressive WoC" stereotype but the character itself doesn't change.

This isn't true for Jason, whose main character trait is how he is perceived by others and how he showcases himself to others based on that perception. (specially with how little effort Riordan put on him besides making him perfect-er Percy who's somehow also weaker and less important than him).

Let's not pretend a black, Arab, indigenous, Asian, Latin man, etc, in the USA would ever be treated with the universal reverence Jason gets from New Roma, you can't have the illusion of perfection and most of all, of invincibility they have about him when you see him suffering racism or xenophobia in the middle of a mission. Nothing in his life has ever gone wrong, that's his image, destined to be king, he is supposed to have no weakness on his peers eyes.

He is not trying to prove people wrong, he is trying to prove them right; he isn't worthy despite their prejudice, on the contrary, he only tried to make himself worthy to fulfill their expectations. He can't be a woman or an immigrant or have a visible disability or any other thing that strays him from a perfect ideal by western society standards, and be that same character.

#Different from the other white character in the series he was never questioned or doubted #There's a presumption of perfection with no exceptions that society doesn't give to us (women poc immigrants visible minorities in general) #His privilege (handsome white man with no visible disability son of Zeus etc) also prevented anyone from worrying for his well being #This illusion/expectation of him having no weakness/being untouchable pushes himself too far and clouds his judgment. #I headcanon he didn't even consider the possibility of myopia because that wouldn't fit Jason Grace Son of Jupiter so it wasn't an option #And you think it'd be the same character after facing racism? Because ain't no way he'd be praetor without going through racism #I think I'd love him nonetheless since I'm very weak to the whole golden boy tearing himself to save the world but it'd be a new character #jason grace #I know racism in USA is different from here but I know how different a “non-racist” white person treats me and treats my white friends #Also for him to not be an entirely different character if PoC would be incredibly disrespectful and racist on its own #It would fail to recognize the difference in how we are read (and written). I hate that a lot. #I remember that when Cody told Brandi “I see no color” she told him “then you don't see me” and that's so fucking striking #We ARE different. treated differently. if you act like you don't see it then you also turn a blind eye to the violence that comes from it #This is straying from my point I got a bit heated banalization of things I care about usually does that to me #Point is please don't change Jason on the very few things that man actually bothered writing about him #I actually think this is true about Octavian too. A lot of what he is allowed to do would not be possible if he weren't a white man. #Same for Rachel Elizabeth Dare. I mean you can work around making her poc but it will truly be pushing A LOT #Let's put it this way: a woc doing a street performance is perceived very differently from a white woman doing a street performance. #Specially in the eyes of cops #Pjo

[strawberrybabydog]

realizing im a lesbian has genuinely been one of the most life-ruining things ive experienced so far :0(

i dont think i know any other lesbians

i am a baby dyke. who likes a baby dyke? apparently nobody. i dont seem to fit into ANY lesbian spaces because i'm green but how do i become not green without experience? apparently i need 10 years experience for an entry-level job :0(??

how... do i even find other lesbians irl? "gay bar" ok first off why would i ever go to a bar. also im pretty sure those dont exist where i live

do i love lesbians because i hate and am traumatized by men or do i love lesbians because im normal. only one answer actually makes me a lesbian

if im not lesbian what am i? :0( i dont want to Just be asexual, that doesnt Mean anything

lesbians are fucking scary. i used to follow 10 sapphic-centric blogs but.... theyre always talking about how horrible/annoying other lesbians are over discourse ive never heard of, meaning, im probably participating in it without knowing

oh yeah. that too. i know nothing about lesbians. and being a lesbian. apparently when you're a lesbian you have to know every single piece of sapphic literature and every lesbian of history or you're bad and stupid and dont deserve to be talked to

it really feels like being hetero is free and easy, like you dont have to think about it you just Love Someone, but being queer is hard and energy-consuming and you have no choice but to dedicate the rest of your life to learning and knowing every single piece of sapphic-centered discourse. it seems like being a lesbian has more to do with knowing facts about historic lesbianism than it has to do with loving another lesbian and i'm sooooo not interested in being queer for the sake of discourse i just want to kiss a lady or whatever but thats not allowed until i pass my lesbian exam that every other lesbian passed 20 years ago

idk. maybe all of this confusion means im not a lesbian. i think if i really was sapphic i'd know the answers to this stuff already, researching would be easy and enjoyable..... but the master lesbian google doc..... idk... it seems like being sapphic requires more than just "Girls Kinda Pretty" and that is awful to me. i dont want to spend 4 years in lesbian university studying lesbianism just to get my lesbian degree so i can kiss a girl. i want to just kiss a girl Now why do i need a masters degree?? why do i have to study and earn and prove my place in a society where i thought the bottom line was Kiss Girls And Chill

"community history is important" i agree but why do i need to know all of this shit First, Before i am a lesbian. why cant i kiss ladies and research at the same time. idfk. idk anymore. i just want to love my gf. why am i 22 trying to figure out my sexuality when everyone i know did it when we were 14, how is that fair to me?? im sorry for being a late bloomer i dont know what you want from me

#i think to other lesbians im always going to be That Bisexual who only dates men but never shuts up about loving women #but its deeper than that. those were longterm relationships. nobody i know irl was ever queer in a way where we could have a relationship #i dont know if im a lesbian but i know how nervous i get around a hot butch or a hot femme #i dont know if im a lesbian but i can describe to you every butch ive ever had a crush on #i dont know if im a lesbian but i think in grade 3 i was trying to impress that pretty girl for reasons beyond wanting to be friends #i dont know if im a lesbian but i am head over heels in love with my gf #i dont know i just dont know anymore i feel like a failure #everyone else had their sexyality figured out at 14 and im 22 #i hated going to the gaystraight alliance at my high school because they would buly me for not being gay enough when the teacher wasnt there #maybe its true maybe they knew better than me that im faking it or something #but on more than one occassion in hs i had classmates beefing about my sexuality i wish i was making this up #ive been told i have a lesbian voice i have lesbian vibes but i dont know if thats true especially if my actual queer friends didnt see it #i feel like im failing myself and every queer person ever i feel like every other lesbian just hates me so much and im so sorry #not dog #personal #big feelings

[agnesandhilda]

I genuinely can't imagine what blue lock would be like if any goalies besides gagamaru were allowed to be good at their jobs

#bolo liveblogs #we love to make fun of the blue lock men for being awful which is true but the unnamed human goalies aren't any better #which is in service of bllk having a more exciting narrative (it's cooler if the strikers are successful because of their own talent #rather than failing because *other* people are good players. unless we're supposed to care about those defensive players #and we're only really meant to care about like lorenzo aiku and gagamaru and all the defenders w/no character development suck) #but I think it would be funny if the random no name no backstory goalie of the week deflected a shot from like. rin or whoever. #make someone whose shots have never been successfully deflected by a *goalie* (the number of saves these forwards with NO training in #defense are making is unreasonable unrealistic and frankly disrespectful to defensive roles) #in canon miss once. make him seethe.

[archduke-enver-gortash]

having completely normal thoughts (gortash wotr au)

#yeah. it’s bad. not thinking about inserting zeke but GORTASH #he’d start out as aeon for sure #his opinions on companions are so fucking awful #not nearly as awful as the kingmaker au ofc. he’d call reg a sick dog that needs to be put down because his incompetent owner failed him #anyways. this is a deranged wotr post. #of course there’s no one among the companions fit to be his/equal status #but i’d say he’d have the most positive opinions of regill and greybor. as positive as a guy thinking of them as his tools can get. #towards greybor it’s like. ok you don’t see yourself as more than a weapon and neither do i. you do your job as long you get paid i can wor #with that. #meanwhile regill he’d love to have as a knight devoted to him instead of him being a hell knight #this of course never fucking works gortash’s weird manipulation would not pull through with regill in this matter #no romance of course. except for manipulative sex with wenduag probably. #he really wants that mongrel army! will pop a fantasy viagra if wenduag needs to be ‘roughly subdued to calm down.’ #he’d be a little more into it than usual because he doesn’t need to hold back with her but it’s still not a true subjugation in the end. #until later he’s like ok. i lied i don’t like sex get on the vivisection table #(aro + fucked version of grayace gortash truther if you didn’t know) #tries to refine her and the poison #he’d be awful to her in general. sees a weapon to be refined. she recognizes him as master now but her loyalty is fickle. #he’d earn all the respect flags #but still would punish her greatly for the first sign of betrayal in the abyss #oh and before this gets too long: one more for cam obviously. #sadly i don’t see a world in which he doesn’t immediately see through the mireya story and kill her in act 3 #but if he didn’t. it’d be so juicy. him in act 5 learning the full story. how her father talks about her. #just stands there frozen for 10 seconds with a thousand yard stare #<- to then go no i don’t think you should kill him you should [REDACTED GRUESOME TORTURE METHOD THAT KEEPS ONE ALIVE & AWAKETHE ENTIRE TIME #in the end he’d execute her anyways but. hm. he’d get triggered for sure #i have more thoughts but i’m gonna shut up now lmao

[songofwizardry]

hey there's a lot of shit out in the world but like. there's also 300k fanfics written as labours of love and exuberant comment threads on art that point out and gush over little details and there's people who spend hours sewing tiny details on their cosplays and there's fragments of poetry that get shared over and over and bring emotions over and over and there's entire communities of people built around 'we loved a story together' or 'we made a story together' and there's people poring over every line in a work and building theories together and there's getting together with your friends to have ridiculous fantasy adventures every week and yeah. there's some good stories here too yknow.

#text post #my post #yes this post was made immediately after d&d when i am emotional about the absolute fucking luck and joy of getting to do this regularly #but like #yknow not to quote the 11th doctor on you but it's TRUE we are all stories in the end #anyway i've been listening to lilli furfaro's stories a lot can you tell #just like. art and people and shared story and yeah #i got like three ao3 comments from the same person last week cause i'd left a comment on their work #and like. we don't know each other we've never met but now we've gone through each other pages and realised we feel the same way about this #and we have made each other smile with comments multiple times over the last week. that's fucking wild #like you know you watch a cosplay video and you see how many people and how much love and how much togetherness has gone into it #you recommend a book to a friend with your favourite passages underlined #you take part in a fic exchange and you make each other cry with words #you watch your friends roll dice and have emotions and fight and succeed and fail and you build a world together #idk idk i'd say i'm too emotional about this but i think i am the right amount of emotional actually #as lilli furfaro said. stories stitched together are how families are born

[yeonban]

I want to say so many unholy words right now.

#muse: nikolai gogol. #OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD #FIRST OF ALL WHY IS HE DRESSED EXACTLY HOW I ENVISIONED HE WOULD BE OUTSIDE OF HIS CLOWN PERSONA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #SECOND OF ALL WHY ARE KOLYA AND FEDYA MATCHING LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #THIRD OF ALL I NEED KOLYA TO PUT HIS TONGUE BACK WHERE IT BELONGS BEFORE I DO IT FOR HIM W MY OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I can't believe it Bones really is dead SET on never failing me w Kolya. SO true kings I love to see it #Kolya is giving so many glaring 'witnessed the fall of the wall of Berlin at 20 y.o' vibes rn aughhn #I'm never going to stop thinking about this Kolya outfit and pose and matching vibes w the bestie and- (I get escorted off the stage)

[skitskatdacat63]

If I had a nickel for every time there was a romanlukas piss scene, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

#i honestly still cant tell if my romanlukas dreams have been destroyed or not this ep #that scene btwn them from the trailer was not what i was expecting #but hey added piss- #much more angsty that i expected ig and less silly hatefucking? but thats okay :) #kinda love tho roman trying to wreck the deal but Lukas being like 'haha nope. thought you could get away from me ;)' #roman: *trying to tank the deal by being an asshole* #lukas: no :3 #i just hope thats not their last interaction 😭 pls give me more weird homoerotic power move scenes #just the proximity of their bodies in that piss scene aaahhhhhh *silently screaming* wtf is wrong with them i love it #roman try not to stand extremely close to other men challenge: failed #lukas is such a weirdo but i really can never hate an alexander skarsgard character so i kinda love him #still honestly cant tell if that blood scene with shiv was him telling the truth or not #hes such a weirdo that i honestly would not be that surprised if it was true #roman roy #lukas matsson #romanlukas #succession

[oreolesbian]

#andor #star wars #sw #good sw - like ACTUAL good sw #the fact that there’s no stupid ass nostalgia or cameo bs that disney does #they don’t even bring in jedi or the force bc they know it’s not this story #they made this shit an hbo series #and yeah - it feels so different from sw’s usual vibe but it’s so true to the universe #it’s WONDERFUL #this is the ‘edgy dark lord’ that tlj failed to do #bc tlj had shit world building #andor out here just … mmm i love it #so SO glad the only good disney sw movie (rogue one) gets the only good disney sw show (andor) #like yeah our bar is really low here - but this show has no right being this good #cassian is the protag for his own show but it’s also balanced w/ amazing cast of characters who are all so intriguing #and they have CHARACATER #no forced bs just cause #ahhhhh #the appeal of star wars is the stories - its why the legends are so beloved - and this has only added to it #i’ll continue saying this feels like a legends novel i would never shut up about

[beeapocalypse]

trying to craft a funger oc like aughhhh i can see him i can picture him in my head right now [image of the most off putting little man possible]

#he does not have a name yet but he DOES have a vague concept. author from the eastern union who got drafted into the military and-- #--met another guy during the 1 week he had b4 getting shipped out to basic training. they immediately develop a WAY intense relationship-- #--and constantly send letters to each other. author is a total chickenshit and comes to cope w the violence of war thru-- #--alcoholism and a complete retreat into his obsession w the other man. gets a couple wires crossed and has his lust morph into more + more #--violent fantasies that the other man plays along w bc its Fun+Wild (at its core its the authors desire for CONTROL. if hes the one-- #--bringing the pain then hes safe. even better if its with the single person in existence he feels like he can trust during that-- #--period of time). manages to live throughout the rest of the war and rushes back to his lover. spends a slowly degrading week w him where- #--the man comes to realize what he thought of as simple metaphor+exaggeration was TRUE desire from the author + the author flounders-- #--without the then expected+familiar terror day in and day out. culminates in the man demanding the author leave and never try to contact-- #--him again (saying their romance was wild and exciting and unlike anything hed ever experienced but the only good way it couldve ended-- #--was if the author died out on the front and forever left him Wanting without the actual reality of those desires realized) and the-- #--author either tries to shoot himself or the man (fails to do so. lol) b4 running off to the first train out of town. worlds messiest guy #ya it leans a bit into samarie territory but hes fun. his theoretical ending b would probably have smth to do w sylvian worship + marriages #even more vague idea for his moonscorched form is a sopping wet pathetic red wolf ('red wolf' being one of the mans terms of endearment-- #--thru their wartime love letters) w its legs tangled up in barbed wire so it has to drag itself around. red bc its incredibly-- #--thin skin (<-- do you get it .) splits and bleeds thru with every movement. a lot of whining and incoherent babbling as it hesitates to-- #--ACTUALLY attack anybody. should have some cock horror element but ive no ideas on that front LOL #skill ideas are persistence predator (more melee damage dealt the less mind hes got- a backstory choice where he focuses entirely on the-- #--love letters rather than splitting focus on his on-pause career with short stories) and an unnamed one playing into his terror/lust deal- #--where he gets a buff to either melee damage or speed when his phobia is active. want to come up with at least one more though #mmmaybe him being an author doesnt play that well into his concept as a whole but hes my strangeguy so whatever