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#try to do that and fail 100% of the time.
neil-gaiman · 14 hours
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I just saw somewhere you recommend writing 300 words a day. I can't imagine how to do that, I will manage 50-100 at most and I will edit endlessly. Do you continuously add to the story without returning to the previous chapters and keep almost everything as it first occurred to you? Is it a matter of practice to become more productive and require less editing? I think I enjoy playing around with details though, is that a bad habit to shed?
Write whatever works for you. I wrote Coraline at 50 words a day because that was the time I had. I wrote American Gods trying for 2,000 words a day (and often failing) because it needed to be a thick book and at 50 words a day I'd still be writing it.
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asarajaa · 3 days
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can I get some headcanons about jealous Kenma?? Thank you!!
Sure! Hope you like it <3!
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Warnings: gn!reader Words: 565 Disclaimer: English isn't my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!
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Jelous Kenma hcs
₊˚ෆ I don't think Kenma is the jelousy type tbh.
₊˚ෆ But sometimes he has insecurities because, look at you, how is it that you-a beautiful, incredible, gorgeous (and the list goes on) person- ended up with a guy like him?
₊˚ෆ The boy thinks that you're out of his league and that he's so lucky to have you.
₊˚ෆ However, if you're ignoring him, well, that's different.
₊˚ෆ At first, he doesn't notice beacuse, why would you ignore him?
₊˚ෆ But once he does- proceed with caution.
₊˚ෆ This boy will make anything to caught your attention.
₊˚ෆ There was this time when you decided to try videogames, but no Kenmas videogames, no, otome videogames.
You were just chilling in your boyfriends bed, scrolling through social media while your boyfriend was playing in his computer until you saw this new viral otome game. In your boredom, you decided to give it a try and- omg
What is this thing and where was it your whole life???
The hours went by and you were just giggling and moving while playing with your phone. After failing the mission for the 34th time in a row, Kenma decided to have a little break.
Kenma lay down on his bed only to find you 100% focused on your phone. At first, he though you were only watching a video and when the video's over you'll give him attention.
With that in mind, he waited patiently on the other side of his bed for you to notice him. But when the minutes went by and you weren't paying him any attention, he though he had enough.
"Uhm, babe? What are you watching?" he asked calmly, with no signs that he wanted your attention because he's not attention starved.
(Oh, but he is)
You shuddered and give a small jump "Kenma? I didn't notice you" you said while you returned your gaze back to the game, his brow furrowing. "What were you saying?" you asked.
"I asked you what were you watching" he repetead himself.
"Actually, I'm talking to a guy of this ne- oh my god" you let out a giggle while your fingertips were tapping.
His brow furrowed more because who were you talking to and why was he more important than him, your boyfriend?
"A guy? I know him?" he asked, moving closer to you.
"I don't think so?" you chuckle imagine your boyfriend playing the otome game "His name is Zach, he's 24 and has electric blue eyes with baby blue hair" you gave him hints, hoping that he'd hear of him since he's the main male lead of the game.
"Who on this earth has baby blue hair' Like-"
"Shoyo has orange hair."
"..."
"..."
"...Do you want me to dye my hair baby blue?"
"Baby- What?" you asked shocked, what on earth was he talking a- oh.
Oh.
"Are you jelous?" you were teasing him.
"..."
" You know I'm p-playing an otome-game, r-right?" you were trying your best to not laugh but his cute red face was not helping.
He quietly gets up of the bed and started walking towards his computer.
Now you were laughing.
"B-Baby! Wait! I didn't mean to but-"
₊˚ෆ He thinks that's the most embarassed time he's ever been.
₊˚ෆ Kenma will start playing videogames again like nothing happend.
₊˚ෆ At the end, you had to cuddle with him and explain him all the situation, while you tried your best to not laugh.
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Thank you all for sending request! I'm so happy to do them!
Please, tell me your opn about this one, I really appreciate if you guys comment on how can I improve <3
26/04/24
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© asarajaa — Please, do not copy, translate or reuse my work without my permission.
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the-massive-simp · 3 days
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I've been thinking about fem/gn reader losing their virginity to kaeya, venti and kaveh... But maybe they accidentally get hurt and have to stop? I wanna know how they'd act when something like that happens (:
a/n: I love this kind of prompt <3 here you go anon! I'm slowly trying to fight writer's block so its only headcanons and not drabbles but I tried my best. sadly there's no venti because i dont really feel comfortable writing suggestive or nsfw things with him (i know i got your request before changing my rules so you did nothing wrong. sorry for the inconvenience). and remember everyone: a yes can turn into a no at any moment, and that's completely fine. consent is key. also I think that my love for kaveh shows in this one because his part is twice kaeya's one
warnings: it's not graphic smut but sex is mentioned so don't read if you're uncomfortable with that. no mentions of protections (make sure use them irl)
♡Kaeya♡
I imagine Kaeya being a super sex positive person, like for him sex is not a big deal as long as there's respect for the other person
so he was probably ready to have sex with you since you started dating 💀
but of course he didn't push you, he waited for you to be ready to have your first time with him
one time you have dinner at his place and an heated make up sessions evolves in discarding eachother clothes
he asks for your consent like 100 times while you two move to the bedroom
he knows how important foreplay is, so he makes sure to prepare you for the main act
then he slowly pushes himself in, an heavy breath leaving his lips as he hides his face in your neck, his arms supporting him so he doesn’t put all of his weight on you
you immediately feel uncomfortable
the stretch feels too much and its almost painful
at first you think it's normal but it doesn't go away even after he begins to gently trust in you
if anything, it gets worse, but he fails to notice tour discomfort
tears start to spill from your eyes as you put your hands on kaeya chest and tell him to stop
he immediately freezes, concern and guilt flooding his face
"Can I pull out?"
you nod and he backs away from your body, opting to sit back to give you some space
"Did it hurt? Did I do something wrong? Should I go get anything?"
he listens to you as you try to explain him how you felt
he goes getting a warm cloth to gently clean you up before embracing you in his arms
he feels really bad for not having noticed your discomfort sooner
you tell him that's its fine, you thought you were ready but maybe you were too nervous
you two keep talking about it for a while until you fall asleep
after that for a while he's a bit reluctant to try again because he doesn't want to hurt you
but when you tell him that you really want to take this step with him, he finally agrees
expect 3 hours of foreplay
♡Kaveh♡
now now
sweet kaveh loves to spoil you, taking you out to have dinner and go shopping
however his wallet does not enjoy it as much as he does
so you often have dates where you just go for a walk together or have a picnic
it's during one of those dates that he casually mentions the subject of sex
now, he doesn’t want to force you but he loves you so much and the idea of you two doing that together looks amazing to him
the conversation its not meant to push you, but rather to offer you an occasion to talk about it together and see if you feel the same about him
when you tell him you're ready (be it that same date or after years) he gets so excited
he can't believe you're going to share the magic moment of your first time with him of all people
he probably asks you if you two can go at your place since he doesn't want alhaitham around
once you two get down to business, he's the sweetest guy ever
he kisses every single inch of your body, basically worshipping you
makes sure to keep eye contact with you most of the time so he can notice if anything is wrong
after the foreplay, he lets you get on top of him, straddling his lap while his back is propped up by some pillows
he wants you to be the one in charge so you can choose the pace of events
the moment you lower yourself on him, he knows something is wrong
yes, he does feel a lot of pleasure from finally being inside of you, but he doesn't miss the face you make
when after a few seconds he sees tears pooling in your eyes he has the confirmation of his suspects
he immediately grabs your hips and pulls you up, making you sit on his thighs before comfortly rubbing your arms and shoulders
"What's wrong baby?"
he's so gentle with you, holding you close while you sniffle in his neck, hands resting on his chest
he strokes your hair and reassures you that you don't have to do anything if you're not ready, that he'd wait a thousand years for you, that he loves you as much as before, that sex is not the important thing in your relationship
he waits for you to calm down before asking you what exactly you think went wrong
if you tell him you want to try again he's completely fine with it, but he becomes even more attentive and gentle, making sure that this time you'll be able to enjoy it
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teddynottss · 1 day
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• - ARE YOU FLIRTING OR STARTING A FIGHT?- •
PAIRING(S): theodre nott x fem. reader
WARNING(S): smutt
SUMMARY: theodore and y/n are academic rivals, and when one time she gets into an argument with snape and gets detention, the slytherin boy finds a way to follow her there
A/N: thanks for 100 followers ily all 💓
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Everyone knew you and theodore were academic rivals, both of you had always been racing to be at the top of your classes for years now. However, you always were a few points ahead of him, so you always managed to find a way to brag about it.
You’d always rub your higher marked grades in front of his face, you’d tease him about it in the corridor, lunchtime, anytime, all the time. One class however, potions, was one you faced difficulty with.
Snape wasn’t the biggest fan of your house, Ravenclaw, neither was he of you. He gave you a hard time in his class, while on the other hand theo had it the way he liked.
One time in potions class, Draco gave Neville a potion which caused the Gryffindor boy to throw up slugs all over the room. This little show earned a good chuckle from pretty much everyone, and seeing as Snape wasn’t really trying to do anything about it, you finally snapped. “What the hell is going on?” you shout. “Calm yourself, ms.” Snape answered. “No, no! Look what hes doing to him, do something about it!” “Alright, shush now. This is my class, my business to handle, my choices to make and take.” He said, more angrily now.
“This is bullshit!” You shout. “All right, detention ms!” Snape shouts angrily. Just then, theodore punches blaise in the face, making his nose bleed. Holding his face, blaise speaks “what the actual fuck was that for?”. Theo then goes for another punch and thats when snape stops him using his wand, “alright nott, detention for you too!” you could see the little smirk appearing on theo’s lips as snape spoke.
Later ~
The both of you had to spend your night cleaning the library for detention, wonderful. You got there and to your surprise, theo was already there before you. You ignore him and immediately get to work, you wanted to be done and out of here in no time.
As you’re putting some of the books back, he approaches you. “You’re not going to ignore me the whole night right?” to that you dont answer. “But really, Longbottom, out of all people?” He chuckles. “What are you trying to say, neville is my friend and everyone always finds a way to make fun of him so i will not allow that to happen in my presence.”
You leave the slytherin boy in shock and he turns back to keep working on his part. After a while, he speaks again “You know that this whole problem thing with snape will cause you to fail his class?” he speaks.
“I do.” You scoff. “That means i have a higher chance of getting ahead of you and being at the top of the grade this year.”he teases. “I dont even fucking care nott.” You speak as you keep your face to the front, putting the books back in place. “But that wont happen.” He adds. You turn to him confused, “huh?”. “That wont happen i said.” He speaks.” “And how come?” you ask. “Listen to me, we’ve been academic rivals for years, every single time i was so close to beating you, but i never did, do you ever wonder how?”
You don’t speak, as you cant quiet understand what he’s talking about. He then proceeds to continue “i did it on purpose, i knew how much it matters to you, i read your diary in our first year saying how you were so bad at everything you’ve tried and that studying was the only thing you were good at, thats why i’d write the wrong answers on purpose. Id also steal potter’s invisibility cloak to sneak into the classrooms and change your wrong answers.”
“There is no way,” you say hesitantly unsure what to say instead. “Yes, you need to believe me.” “What the fuck, are you flirting with me or tryna start a fight?” He tilts your chin to look up at him, “i never wanna fight with you, i just want you to be happy.”
Just then you lean in closer and connect your lips. He kisses you back, tongues colliding, his hands land on your hips and he pulls you in closer. He pins you to the bookshelf and starts leaving wet, hungry kisses on your neck and collarbone. You moan at the feeling and grab his hair, to which he responds by biting the skin on your neck, slowly, then more aggressively. “Theo, i wanna thank you for what you did” you speak in between moans. “I wanna pleasure you please.” “You’ll only pleasure me by doing what i ask you to do, let me give you head until you forget your name, cara mia.”
Just then he lifts you so that your legs rest on his shoulders, he raises your skirt and lowers you panties. “God you’re already so fucking wet f’me bella.” He says as he begins trailing kisses around your pussy. You arch your back a bit, wanting him to eat you out already to which he chuckles before he begins teasing your folds with his tongue.
He licks your folds then keeps a hand on your thigh to make sure you don’t fall before he adds three fingers inside you all in one go. “HOLY FUCKKKK” you scream and squirm and squeeze around him, only burying his face deeper into your pussy as his tongue and fingers work in sync. You feel your climax building already, “im gonna cum, theo.” You moan as theo speeds his movements. “FUCKK, OH SHIT YEAH JUST LIKE THAT.”
You release and theo licks you clean. He then shows you some of your come on his fingers and he makes you lick them off his fingers. “You taste so fucking good,” he speaks, kissing you. You moan into his mouth then speak “let me give you head, please, i promise to swallow everything.” He breaks the kiss and smiles at you before beginning to remove his pants. You kneel between the boy, who’s now sat on a chair, and find the lace of his boxers.
You pull them down to reveal his hard, throbbing cock. You begin leaving trails of kisses along his v line. Then, you grab his cock and begin massaging it. He leans down to kiss you as you’re playing with him. You palm him and feel his dick twitch at your touch, then you take most of his length in one go. He moans loudly at the feeling as you lick around, sucking better than ever.
You allow your head to move up and down as you try to take more of his length, your nails digging into his thighs. He tugs at your hair, his fingers playing with your brown curls. The slytherin boy then pushes your head completely making his cock hit the back of your throat.
You gag loudly, the sound sending shivers down theos body. As a result, he throws his head back, moaning as you quicken your moves. “Ohhh, my god ‘hm, yeah, please.. mm.. hmh.. fuckkk just like that principessa.” The boy now a whining, whimpering mess. him moaning like that oml.
Without warning, he cums into your mouth. You look up at him between your lashes, your eyes filled with tears. He smiles down at you, watching you swallow everything. He then carries you and places you on his lap, “good girl, that was fucking awesome, tesoro (sweetheart).”
“I wanna make you cum one more time tonight, i know you have one left.” he speaks. “Only if you promise to come inside me.” You announce. He chuckles and nods as he begins removing your shirt. He removes it then proceeds to remove your bra.
Your boobs fly out, bouncing, also revealing your hard tits. He immediately lays his mouth on your breast, pleasuring your left boob, licking and sucking on it endlessly. He also used his other hand to pinch and play with your tit on the other side. This man, lord. He was only playing with your boobs and he was already gonna throw you over the edge again.
He then pleasured the other boob similarly, licking, sucking, and biting before he started leaving a trail of kisses all the way up to your neck. He then held your hips and slowly begin lowering you onto him, you were able to get most of him in the first time. Then, he gave you time to adjust before pushing more of himself in. You moan when you have his whole length in and then when you get used to his size, you begin riding him.
As you begin riding him slowly and carefully, he groans slightly at the feeling. Theo then places his fingers on your clit and starts rubbing hard which makes you feel yourself cum start to form. “Im gonna cum again teddy..” you announce. “Do it, f’me cara mia.” You speed your movements and so does he, you begin moaning at the speed of things to which he kisses you to stop the moans from being too loud.
Then, theo uses his hips to thrust deeper into your so that you’re practically bouncing on him. That is followed by him sucking on the sensitive skin on your neck, biting and licking it until you scream as you release onto him. As he’s helping you ride out your climax, you moan his name making him groan and cum inside of you.
The boy then grabs your face and kisses you hard, “i fucking loved that,” he speaks. “So did i” you smile back at him. Just then, you hear a sound coming from somewhere to which you both jump in fear and begin getting dressed. You manage to put your skirt and shirt on, but the slytherin boy only his pants before mr lupin appears.
His eyes widen in surprise at the site of the boy half naked, “a little hot mr nott?” “uhh.. yes sir” he says hesitantly. Remus then chuckles, “im gonna let it slide this time but please try to do it in a more private place and finish your duties too.” You both nod before moving back to your jobs.
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Decepticons as cats. SFW, under the cut for space.
Megatron: Longhair gray maine coon who demands grooming. Too proud to let you cuddle him... most times. Will dig at the food container when hungry. You get him a grand cathouse- and he chooses to sleep in a box too small for him. Only enjoys catnip toys. Always tries to fight stray cats through the glass doors.
Starscream: Orange and white jerk cat who pushes stuff off of shelves, tables, etc when you don't pay attention to him. Zoomies come accompanied with loud and long yowling. Has to occasionally have a cone because he overgrooms due to stress... will bite in protest. Demands attention then suddenly wants to play. Isn't neutered.
Dialogue courtesy of @starscrumpt : "If you do not pick me up and cuddle me within thirty seconds, I will push this mug off this table and it will shatter upon impact! I know this is your favorite mug, and you'll never be able to use it again!!"
Soundwave: Tuxedo who's mostly quiet. You think he's a boy until he suddenly has kittens, then you accept him as a trans boy who now has a bunch of sons- how are the kittens so chaotic when their father is so calm? He will steal things to give to the kittens. Sleeps next to your pillow with one eye on the kits. Always brings the babies to you when busy. Likes watching ASMR videos with you.
Blitzwing: Bengal cat who goes from 0 to 100 in a split second. Sleeping one second, zoomies in the next. Sleeps on your face whenever possible. Goes insane for canned food. Will fight you for butter. Likes water. Demands to drink your cereal milk. Cuddles then sudden attack!! Loafs and stares at the ghosts in every room- growls when you try to stop him. Collects socks.
Shockwave: Sphynx. Spends most of his time on a cat shelf, judging everyone. Stares out the window, planning demise for the birds and squirrels. Chronically tries to escape to the great outdoors... but freezes in the backyard (easy to grab him and drag him back indoors). Tends to try to jump on things but fails and lands facefirst on the floor.
Lugnut: Huuuuuge gray cat. Likes to watch the TV. Always guilty when he gets in trouble. Loud meows. Gets his head stuck in things all the time. Cat no like banana. Scared of the printer. Tries to groom Megatron but Megatron bites him :(
Blackarachnia: The spider that Shockwave brought in after an escape attempt. Blitzwing plays with her until Soundwave's kittens eat her. [Sorry if you're a Blackarachnia fan. I do not like her, for her actions against my boi Blitzwing. There is a bias here]
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magpie-trove · 2 hours
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Soliciting some advice
#so if you have no idea how to discern God’s will because all the usual methods have failed you#and some opportunities arise and you’re like oh yes!! I want to do that!!#and things align well for the opportunity#but there’s one iffy thing about it#and so now you’re stuck wondering well do I go or is it a Distraction a Trap#and so you just start to decide well it must be a Trap because it’s something I want right#but that idea fills you with despair like you really are just trapped here and no new opportunities will ever come your way except as things#to say no to (aha caught a lie there! the old this is all there ever be lie)#and it could be a distraction because I am kinda at the crossroads about faith atm#like. I am basically Catholic#theologically I mean#and I keep trying to tell people/leaders but they don’t really have time to listen to me every time the convo gets derailed and delayed#and I’m having a lot of trouble extricating myself from my duties there (teens)#(technically it’s an interdenominational youth group but like I don’t think they’ll keep me on staff)#(and some of my teens parents are like yeah ‘stupid evil Catholic’ kinda of people)#and I just have no idea how to extricate myself from that situation in the middle of the Serious problems they are experiencing at the momen#and maybe that’s my pride saying they need me but god can do just as well with someone else there maybe it’s someone else’s time#but anyways the new opportunity would prob get me out of some of that but it wants me to sign a sworn Protestant waver too#and idk if I can do that. so I could fly under the radar and get a few things done as an unofficial aid#because most of the ministry would actually be stuff we all 100% agree on!#so like. idk man! I feel in need of advice but my friends are too busy to call#and everyone else is gone/preoccupied/can’t get chance to talk with#and I have no Christian adults around me other than unavailable ones#so like. don’t make me read the signs and figure it out God! tell me frankly! Crystal clear please!#amen!#so yeah any advice I turn to you my tumblr mutuals and the internet during this time of need#I will reject it and enter the despair if need be but the despair comes from there being no alternative steps to take#I’m just turning between fun good!!! and tv static
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koolades-world · 6 hours
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Hello there! hope your day is going good and if not I hope it gets better.
I was wondering if I could request a scenario (you can do headcanon format) Where Mc is in a life or death because a lower demon is about to kill them and Mc actually kills the lower demon with their own magic. how would the undatables react/comfort Mc after they killed someone because their life was in danger.
Thank you in advance if you do decide to write and make sure to stay hydrated!
hi there! i can do that :)
hope you're having a great day too <3 just drank water with a liquid iv in it so hopefully im super hydrated now haha. i've had a bit of a sore throat for the past few days now so i've been really chugging water better than i usually have which says a lot! love me my 30 oz water bottle that goes everywhere with me
enjoy!
Undatables react to Mc killing a lower demon while defending themself
Diavolo
he's very proud of you but quickly goes on high alert
you've never seen him more serious
he's doing all sorts of things such as upping security measures and looking into the background of the now deceased demon to ensure your safety and to make sure there wasn't anything more behind the attack
he makes sure to give you a huge hug and lets you know exactly how he feels <3
Barbatos
if you hadn't killed them, he would've finished the job for you
since there's no work there for him to do, he'll be taking a visit to see that demon's relatives in the near future
in the meantime, he'll help you unwind and try to take your mind off it
perhaps a tea party with all your favorite treats and little d's there, if you'd like :)
Simeon
he won't ask questions and he'll heal you no matter what
even if you didn't get very hurt, he insists you stay under his care for a little bit
you'll get the best bedside care and soup ever
let him dote on you, it'll make him feel better too knowing you're safe in his arms <3
Luke
he's immediately freaking out
what do you mean a lower demon tried to kill you!!!
100% in tears and refuses to let you out of death grip hug he has on you
the next day, he gifts you an amulet with an angelic blessing on it and asks you to carry it everywhere with you. doesn't care if that means the brothers can't get anywhere near you now. better for him that way anyways haha
Solomon
he's very impressed!
gah they grow up so fast. it felt like just yesterday he gave you the nickname of his apprentice
deep underneath his gushing, he's worried but he knows that you're capable
even goes as far as to give a few little tips for the future. love at it's finest haha
Mephisto
he's furious with himself that he even let you get in that situation
he almost feels as if he's failed you, but he tries to hold up a facade of nonchalantness
it won't take much coaxing to break down this barrier and see how upset he actually is
if you notice him being extra loving in the next week or so, try not to comment on it but accept his affections
Thirteen
she's with you as much as she can be, but she knows it's just impossible to be by your side all the time
she's angry at herself and the now dead lower demon because that window of time when she's away is never very large
but, she knows you are more than strong enough to take care of yourself if it wasn't already apparent before
she'll make excuse after excuse to be with you until she eventually just spills the beans. she really cares about you <33
Raphael
he's gonna check you at least three times over to make sure you're alright
but right after he almost scolds you, in a loving way
he tells you he should've been the one to do it and that he should've been by your side
he was just very nervous he could've lost you, but is so proud of how you stood up for yourself <3
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menalez · 11 months
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Idk about anyone else’s experiences but I never dreamed of marrying or holding hands with a guy even as a kid, like??? The thought disgusted me as a child. When I was 11, I was making my Barbie dolls lay on top of each other and also the first time I pictured my teacher topless I felt so horrified and disgusted I literally shut down and a few years later identified as asexual so! That’s my lesbian experience! A lot of guilt and shame, but I never imagined myself with a male character or anything like that even despite it all.
I get some lesbians try to overcorrect and force themselves into a hetero relationship or life, but also I don’t think a woman who pictures a life with a man and has crushes on male celebrities or characters is a lesbian. Idk! Don’t want to gatekeep but I do not relate at ALL to women who are attracted to any man - real or fictional.
i never fantasised about doing that w real or fictional guys but i did TRY to make myself visualise & fantasise about these things but it would just.. never work out how its intended. id just fantasise about a woman in a wedding dress who looks nothing like me (and would imagine her in detail w a clear face n everything) and then like. the man would be in the background like this
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if i tried to make myself imagine an actual man (which i did try doing as a teenager bc i was starting to wonder why i could never actually imagine a man), i would just imagine shit like this:
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and id end up crying and having a mental crisis over why they always look so ugly and why i cant imagine anything positive about it fhdshfsdh.
but also i was extremely stupid and unaware of my feelings.. i used to write my teacher ms rita poems all the time (when i was 5) and drew myself naked go-karting with my female arch nemesis (when i was 6) and wrote weird homoerotic stories when i was like 9 but i simply explained all of that stuff away to myself until i was in my teen years
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birdmenmanga · 1 month
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@raventhekittycat
hi okay so I've been mulling this one over for the past day or two and I think I have the answer. not to be using hamburger to explain anything to an american but you're my detco mutual so I'm going to try and explain it in detco terms
There's a post going around recently about how if you've read detco and only detco, the first time hakuba shows up you're going to be totally flummoxed, because damn this guy is clearly important, he gets to be even cooler than Shinichi, he's got a half-page shot of him (in such a panel-dense series such as Detective Conan, no less!!) and he's got a fucking hawk. he's CLEARLY important. everything about the narrative is indicating that you need to PAY ATTENTION to hakuba and that he's the coolest guy and he's important!!!! and then he dies in the case lol (not for real. but still.)!! and you're like huh??? what was that. why did aoyama do that.
But with the context of magic kaito this totally makes sense. He's a beloved character that people have been waiting decades to see again. Of course Aoyama is going to hype him up!! It's his big moment after years of being locked in the backrooms!!!
Anyways reading birdmen for me was kind of like that. The author's previous series, Kekkaishi, was pretty one-dimensional at the beginning, and even after the main plot started picking up at around volume 6, it still felt quite understandable. I knew what she was trying to get at, and the spectacular job she did with the anthropocene and climate change metaphor towards the end of that series really made me interested in the rest of her works. That and the way she writes familial relationships is absolutely DEVASTATING. (I mean this with the highest of praise)
But when I read BIRDMEN for the first time, I was probably in... middle school, maybe? And I read it, sure, but I didn't get it. I could see what was literally happening on the page but the narrative choices were absolutely baffling at times. Why skip over the entire part of the plot where they figure out who the birdman that saved them was? She blatantly doesn't care about that. What does she care about then?? I knew I didn't get it, I knew there were parts of it that were important and I couldn't figure out why and THAT'S how it dug its pretty little claws into me. Even after I finished catching up it nagged at me a little bit, not often at all, but enough that every once in a while I go, huh, right, that was a thing, let me go read it again.
For the record this type of story haunting has happened to me twice. First time was the Heart of Thomas, second time was BIRDMEN. I think the thing is that these are both stories which are not what other people say they are and I think I came into both of these stories with a misconception, trying to look too hard for things that weren't important and therefore missing the things that were.
Because sure, BIRDMEN is about mental illness. Yeah, it's about an evil scientific organization growing mutants in a lab. Yeah, it's about what it means to leave your humanity behind. That's all technically correct, on a surface level, and the fandom at large likely agrees with these takes for the most part, but in my opinion none of that really delves into what the thematic messaging of the story is about.
There are cryptic conversations about authority and human extinction and peculiar outfit and ability choices. You can tell these choices weren't made to serve the purpose of "writing exciting shonen manga" because that was what she did for the most part in Kekkaishi and you can tell she wasn't putting her whole pussy into doing that here. So what was she doing? What's like. All of this. Waves my hands at this.
The short answer is that it's really about the interplay between capitalism (represented by humanity) and communism (represented by birdmen), and explores the role institutional white supremacy (EDEN) plays in enforcing capitalism. It is ALSO about queer liberation and the importance of community, but hey, that double-stacks conveniently with the communism metaphor.
But also take this opinion of mine with a grain of salt. As far as I know I'm the only one who really truly deeply believes that it is not only AN interpretation of the work, but one that was fully intended by the author.
So basically, I like it, because I think it says something true and beautiful that I also believe in, even if I didn't have the words for it the first time I read it. But I don't really think that's what people really look for in a media recommendation.
Do I like it? Yes, I love it. Will I recommend it to others? Yeah, sure. But do I think it's deeply flawed? Yeah, absolutely. It's flawed in the same ways as The Witch from Mercury— a rushed ending, too many threads that were opened and never tied together. The pacing and characterization is perfect in the beginning, and too rushed at the end. There are prerequisites you basically HAVE to read in order to understand the story (tempest for G-Witch and the communist manifesto for birdmen). I think a truly good story wouldn't have any of these things so if people don't like it I never blame them.
It's my personal experiences that make birdmen so profound to me. If you are not queer I just don't think Eishi coming out as a birdman to his mom will hit the same, just as an example. Sorry that I wasn't the kid you wanted me to be. I know you love me and you just want the best for me and that's why you're so controlling, because you think I can be saved by conforming to societal expectations. But I can't live like that. I can't be like that. And that's why I must go. etc.
Aesthetically I do love birdmen a lot. If I had to describe it in a few words it would probably be "chilling", "beautiful", and "powerful", which nicely coincides with the type of things I personally like to draw. It's also silly to a small degree but it's so serious and I know Tanabe can be way way way funnier (read kekkaishi for this. kekkaishi and hanazakari no kimitachi he were foundational to my sense of sequential art humor) so that's not really the standout trait of this series.
I can't let it go because I'm chewing this series like a bone. And it's taking me years but I am getting that sweet sweet marrow. By god. We are on year 3 of this shit and I am GOING to understand this series. and I'm going to make 3 video essays about it
#just thinking thoughts...#stray bird thoughts#so it's like... I don't like it because birdmen is good#I think I like it because I am a certain type of person and the author was trying to say something specifically to the type of person I am#OH#I'M THE TARGETED AUDIENCE THATS WHY I LIKE IT.#YEAH THATS REALLY IT!!!#A long time ago I said that birdmen wasn't written for the people who read it at the time it serialized.#it was written for the people they would become.#and I stand by that 100%#if it really stays with you there is going to be a reason even if you can't articulate it yet#and it may APPEAR sloppy to someone who doesn't see the queer or communist metaphor#like 'what is she doing what is she saying here she's not saying anything meaningful and emphasizing the wrong things'#but that sort of presumes she is gunning to make 'the best shonen manga ever'#which she clearly isn't.#I remember when I was reading fma with a bunch of my classmates and I'd lend them a volume or two every day#and a piece of feedback I received that has stuck with me was 'volume 15 was so boring'#(that was the volume recounting the ishval civil war. it was boring because we were middle schoolers and didn't REALLY get it.)#and like. I think to people who are looking for something like kks. the whole thing is going to feel like fma volume 15#like WHAT is she going on about? ? ?#like witch hat and dunmesh I think are similar types of stories but I think these two are just executed way better than bm#but because of that it is just not as compelling to me you know.#like yeah yeah it's well constructed. we all see it's well constructed.#the metaphor is so well constructed that I don't feel the need to point it out. everyone is saying it already you know#but bm is cryptic enough and just slightly missed that execution enough that I feel like I'm pulling the analysis out of a smoking wreckage#recently I've been watching mentourpilot videos about airplane accidents and like. that's exactly it.#there's nothing to say about a perfectly executed flight.#it's the ones that failed. and in particular the ones that just barely failed by a little bit. that compels people the most.#cue my de communism is failure post. bc that bm sure did fail.
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the fact that ford ultimately breaks down and is about to actually make a deal with bill to spare stan and the kids during weirdmageddon is like...a really powerful moment i think. this man has been trying to hold the line for three decades. but nobody could keep that up forever! it may have taken him longer to crack than it would have taken most people, and ford may be insanely determined and resilient, but in the end, he’s only human. even he has his breaking point and weirdmageddon was it. stan ended up finishing the job and delivering the final blow not because ford “was never really the hero,” not because ford’s efforts against bill didn’t actually matter, but because ford was worn out. bill’s defeat took a team effort from stan and ford because humans are meant to help and support each other and that’s what makes us great; we’re not meant to carry the weight of the world alone. and when that’s exactly what you’ve been doing for three decades, all to prevent something that ends up happening anyway...anyone would break down at that point. even the greatest heroes are falliable. even the most perseverant people can be worn down. even the strongest people need other people.
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fluffyk97 · 7 months
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When I started playing the new Final Horizon update I was expecting pure fun playing as Amy, Knuckles and Tails all while getting new story and a better final boss.... I wasn't expecting I was signing up for extra hard mode that made me feel very drained despite my setting being clearly set to normal difficulty.
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sonic frontiers#Sonic frontiers final horizon#I am bad at games I know this and can admit it#Sonic fans really don't deserve the wonderful treatment the Sonic Team has been giving up lately frfr#But Imma need them to tune this shit DOWN#I enjoyed playing as Amy Knuckles and Tails but I was excited to get back to Sonic admittedly#Mainly because I was of course familiar with him while I wasn't with the others#I thought I could go ahead and get the map all completed and do a lil cyberspace before I did the first tower#What I wasn't expecting was to get stuck trying to do my one and first CyberSpace level over and over because I kept failing#I mainly just kept failing at the last bit because it was falling platforms and they give you such little space and time that I cant handle#When i gave up on that i decided focus on the map then so I'll really know where I'm going and all that#Turns out the challenges to get your map filled up were also made to be just ridiculous#I gave up at a fuckin ball and hoop challenge because shit feels so inconsistently annoying#Not to mention the guardian i fought beforehand because Sonic actually has stats#Maxed out ones even#Now i know this one is definitely more of a skill issue on my part I'm sure but#I have max defense and I was at 999 rings#Bro i got down to under 100 rings during that damn fight cause i didn't know the right time to attack#I can be short tempered ngl shsh so shit has definitely brought my mood down and I'll probably actually watch the rest of the story#I really don't want to put myself through all that and more some it drains me more than having fun#Props to those who have fun with it#I cannot and I admire their strength amd determination#Plus I'm already seeing people talking about the towers you need to do with Sonic being absolute pains#Last time I saw that was with The End fight which the game took pity on me with how many times I died#Just uyguggugh#Whole ass rant in the tags#I'm tired and I do hope the new story full on is good and redeems what we had before
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zoekrystall · 5 months
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Huh
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The thought of going to college is filling me with immense despair and I’m half thinking of dropping out
#I cant do this anymore godammit#i want to SCREAM#I know shipping characters won’t pay the bills but I wish it did#I just wish things weren’t hard anymore I want to play on easy mode. a tutorial mode even. I just. don’t want to do this anymore#I don’t want to! I cant! i cannot!!!! I am sick of disappointing people! I’m sick SICK SICK OF IT!#just another month I’ll be through with this I say#gosh I just need to hold out for just that much longer#I hate when people keep expectations from me! I hate it! Stop it!! stop telling me that I have the ‘capacity to do well’ I don’t! I am#exhausted and average at best! there is nothing I am outstanding in! I am just average! stop stop stop stop expecting that I’ll do something#remarkable in life when I’m just looking forward to dying as soon as possible! stop it! stop it!!#it drives me insane I want to punch a wall it’s driving me INSANE#I am average at everything ok? I’ve made my peace with it. I’m not destined for greater things. I’m studying for a pretty worthless degree.#I don’t even want this degree. I didn’t even choose it. I don’t want to do it. I don’t! I really don’t.#it drives me insane whenever people tell me that I don’t give my 100% in my academics. yes I don’t. I don’t because if I do I will self#destruct. last time I gave it my all I became so severely depressed that I quit everything I quit doing everything I loved. it was horrible#I gave it my all in the way people want you to and the whole time I was suffering and then I failed#it really does affect you when you for once try your absolute best and the result you get is worse than if you didn’t try at all#I was better off slacking. so ever since I’ve done the bare minimum and come to terms with the fact that I am average at best and I’m much#better off being average at best instead of being an absolute failure after doing my absolute best#they say that school doesn’t matter in the long run I hope it’s true because those scars haven’t faded still#the brain damage was irreparable#eugh I hate it here#delete later
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septimus-heap · 2 years
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Also thinks abt marcia dedicating the first like 50 years of her time as a ghost to pissing off marcellus
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nostalgia-tblr · 1 year
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if i write all the wanky stuff in the tags that means i am innocent if any wank ensues thereafter right?
#I didn't think i was supposed to ACTUALLY blame Loki for Frigga's death? like it obviously wasn't his fault in any deliberate way#and Mobius is a cop trying to break Loki enough to get him to help the cops to catch another Loki (oon inceptiony)#yeah Mobius SAYS it but i don't think Mobius speaks with 100% authority and accuracy u kno?#it's a deliberate cruelty to point out that Unintended Consequences happened there and i mean... it does work doesn't it?#that is the thing that breaks through to Loki and gets him to do Mobius's bidding from then on (mostly)#because Loki can of course justify all his DELIBERATE actions to himself - because he already did that at the time he did them#but 'u killed Frigga (sort of)' is a new Bad Thing and one he has no pre-prepared excuse for#basically Loki already knows all the tumblr meta that casts him as Right About Things so Mobius is never gonna win on those items alone#but then I also think Mobius was planning to just straight-up murder TVA!Loki when he'd done his part in catching The Bad Variant#and wouldn't be shocked if there were others before him who also got Mobius'd out of existence for failing or refusing to play along#how many times has Mobius done this? is there more than 'reading files' behind how easily he can see through Loki's attempted lies?#OH THAT GOT A BIT DARK DIDNT IT OH NO#(i enjoy a bit of lokius but i do wonder about the AU where they catch Sylvie and now Mobius has a spare Loki who is of no further use)#BUT I DIGRESS#yeah i didn't think i was supposed to ACTUALLY think Frigga dying can be fairly blamed on Loki#but Mobius knows that this is something Loki can't justify and it'll eat away at him and make him question the stuff he CAN justify#loki series
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roaringroa · 1 year
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i am devastated, i read a book today and didn’t realize it was part of an ongoing series until like halfway through this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me
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