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unsqeakable · 5 years
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The Black Heir
Summary: Regulus Black: A pureblood wizard. The Heir of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black. A husband. A teenager. A Death Eater. Desire for revenge leads him right into the Dark Lord's arms, and allows him to cross the boundaries that once crossed cannot be undone. All actions have consequencs and now it's time for him to pay for his sins. So his unborn child can be proud of him.
Status: completed
Chapters: 3
Words: 18k+
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Happy birthday! 😃
😁😁😁
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9, 10, and 30! Asking the important questions :)
9. Where is the true North/South divide?
This is a map of all the waitrose branches in Britain. Need I say more
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10. Explain the Freddos controversy for all your non-British followers
Listen up, freddos are these tiny little chocolate bars (sorta) shaped like frogs (irl chocolate frogs if you will) and when I was little they used to cost 10p which is a  REASONABLE PRICE because seriously they’re tiny. They’re like 15 grams. 
And from like 1990-2005 it cost 10p (yes I’ve done my research) which like I say is a reasonable price for such a small amount of chocolate. And the price stayed constant for 15 years but now it costs 30p??? What is that??
And yes, I know inflation exists but that is DOUBLE the original price adjusted for inflation. If the price of freddos were increasing at a normal rate they’d be 15p and it is RIDICULOUS that cadbury’s is charging 30p for that shit
Disclaimer: I haven’t eaten a freddo in about 10 years and I don’t know anybody that buys them. We’re all just trained to care very deeply about this even though I probably wouldn’t buy freddos even if they were only 15p. We just care deeply about the injustice of it
30. Chips with gravy: a delicacy or an abomination? How about curry sauce?
As a southerner I didn’t even realise chips and gravy was a thing until I was about 15 and I had nightmares for weeks
Curry sauce is only acceptable if you’re from the midlands/wales and don’t know any better
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prongsno · 5 years
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Hey love, I'm sorry to hear about your grandma passing away and I wish you and your family lots of love! ❤
thank you
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abrcxasmalfoy · 6 years
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2k make me choose: Regulus Black or Abraxas Malfoy
Regulus was instantly recognisable as the boy sitting in the middle of the front row: He had the same dark hair and slightly haughty look of his brother, though he was smaller, slighter, and rather less handsome than Sirius had been.
for @txmriddlx
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scopriusmalfoy · 5 years
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Purple :)
PURPLE: We near never speak, but I do enjoy your presence on my dashboard.
same here, darling!!!! xxx
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meraudurs · 5 years
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How do you take your tea? :)
black tea/orange pekoe with two teaspoons of milk and sugar :”)
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ginniewheezie · 6 years
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‘Really, what has got into you all today?’ said Professor McGonagall, turning back into herself with a faint pop, and staring around at them all. ‘Not that it matters, but that’s the first time my transformation’s not got applause from a class.’
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azkabqn · 6 years
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"It's okay" Myrtle cooed, "We're alone you can talk to me." She floated down to sit next to the pale boy slumped against the cold white tiles. His late night visits to the first floor bathroom had increased over the last month, as did his desire to disappear. His tears fell and Draco had no fight left in him to regain his composure. They were very much alone but he'd rather be struck with a hex than to talk to Moaning Myrtle, though she may be the only soul in Hogwarts who wanted to do so. Talking only made his situation more unbearably real. Myrtles hand reached out to touch Dracos knee, the phantom gesture running a sharp shiver down his spine. The pain bringing him back to his thoughts. He had no choice, like a puppet on strings he would follow his orders, the consequences too great to risk. Dracos blurred vision spilled into the memory he desperately tried to forget.  
Stepping through to the dining room which had once framed Dracos favorite view of the lush green garden beyond the manor, was now drowned out with dark heavy floor curtains. Cracks of light spilled down the sides illuminating the dust in the air. A dozen cloaked masses now sat at his once welocming dining table. His breath caught in the back of his throat as he inhaled before pacing to the empty seat at the table. His mother's hand gripped his knee as he sat and glanced down at the figures now removing their masks. Keeping his gaze low, Draco turned to the head of the table. 
"Young Master Malfoy," the chilled voice prickled at the skin of his neck, "I am sure I need not explain the dire importance of our current situation. Your eavesdropping from behind closed doors should have filled you in quite nicely." Tensing every muscle Draco begged his body to remain still, the grip on his leg tightened keeping him grounded. Locking his focus on the small cracks of the table the figure to his left seemed to almost lounge in his chair, though his eyes searched every inch of his face hungry for attention.
"You shall kill Him Draco," Voldemort's voice hung in the air, a few murmurs came from the lower end of the table but were quickly silenced by a sickening laugh that pierced the room. With the flick of a wrist Draco's gaze was snapped straight in The Dark Lords direction; a smile cracked across the ghastly face in front of him, "and should the Malfoys yet again fail, I won't be so forgiving." The smile widened a fraction as Dracos nerves faltered. "I place their lives into your hands Draco." Silence fell and time slowed to an agonizing pace.
Across from him, Draco saw the moment panic strike his fathers face. Lucius' tired eyes flashed wide and his mother's vice grip dug deep into his leg. It felt like hours that he had been sat there, those words ringing in his head like a thumping headache. The weight of the situation drenched Draco in a cold sweat. Blood surged through his ears and his nails dug deep red patterns into his palms. His mind begged him to run, run and keep running til his lungs gave out. But his body felt like a weight it could not lift. Rooted in the chair his heart pounded, Voldemort's words constricting in his chest. How was he supposed to plot such an impossible task? To kill a man, no. To kill Dumbledore.
His vision blurred and his eyes stung, the memory faded into his silent tears. Myrtle now peered over the top of his knees with a look of pity he always despised. Pushing himself up off the bathroom floor he leaned over the sink and swallowed the wave of nausea, scowling at the disheveled mess that reflected back at him. Myrtle sulked about being ignored and swooped into a near by cubicle as he quickly regained his composure. Swiping the remaining tears away and running a hand through his limp hair, with what little energy he had Draco did his best to fix his appearance. Once he deemed himself adequate enough he swung the bathroom door open and silently made his way along the dimly lit corridors back to the common room.
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gryffindorkx · 6 years
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Amaryllis :)
amaryllis - name an attribute of yourself that you are proud of.
imaginative i guess?? i enjoy making stories but lack discipline to actually push it 😂
shove a flower on my fucking face!
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unsqeakable · 5 years
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The Black Heir
Regulus Black: A pureblood wizard. The Heir of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black. A husband. A teenager. A Death Eater. Desire for revenge leads him right into the Dark Lord's arms, and allows him to cross the boundaries that once crossed cannot be undone. All actions have consequencs and now it's time for him to pay for his sins in order to achieve absolution.
Regulus Arcturus Black was everything – and so much more – an aristocratic, pureblood family could expect from its future Head of House. He was a charming young man of extraordinary beauty, an incomparably accomplished wizard, but most importantly – Regulus wholeheartedly cherished the belief of supremacy of pureblood wizards over anyone else. His deep-rooted prejudice resulted in him joining the ranks of Lord Voldemort and receiving his Dark Mark. That included accepting as much of the responsibilities as he could take without raising the suspicions of his Hogwarts’ professors. Regulus was barely sixteen years old when he was recruited, but he contented to everything with the greatest dignity. He wanted to protect his people from the threat the Muggles and Muggle-borns caused. No matter the cost.
His parents – and, naturally, his eldest cousin Bellatrix Lestrange who was already, despite her young age, the Dark Lord’s lieutenant and who took pride in introducing him to her Master – were so proud when he announced to them that he was welcomed among the wizard’s followers. His cousin told them many incredible and fascinating stories about Lord Voldemort, so the idea that their beloved heir was fighting for the right cause filled their hearts with immense pride. Especially since their other child was the cause of great sorrow.
Regulus used to have an older brother. Sirius, who was an exceptionally talented wizard in his own right and who was even more handsome than he was, was still very much alive. To Regulus though, he was already dead. The older Black boy was disowned by their mother as soon as he ran away from their family home. Sirius dared to disgrace their noble name by associating himself with Mudbloods as he believed that they were equal with purebloods and that blood purity was good for nothing. He had no reasons to be listed among the proper members of their family anymore. Regulus was also furious and regretted deeply that the older wizard was able to dodge his curse. A blood traitor like him simply didn’t deserve to live.
“You’re nothing but a bloody fool,” he recalled himself hissing the words as soon as his mother excused herself from the hall, watching with deep satisfaction and hatred as the teenager's name slowly disappeared from the tapestry. The woman was so mad and heartbroken that she went to grab a bottle of Firewhiskey and drown her sorrows into it, not even being able to observe the process of disownment of her first-born child. “Are you proud of yourself that you’ve managed to break Mother’s heart? How could you choose the blood traitors over your own family! You better pray the Potters treat you well because I’m going to make you pay for your betrayal!”
“And pay he indeed will,” agreed a familiar, albeit unexpected, female voice. He immediately turned his head and saw a beautiful young woman in her early twenties who was leaning against the door frame. She had messy black hair and her dark eyes were full of contempt. “If that makes you happy, I will personally deliver his head to Aunt Walburga.”
“No,” he snapped suddenly, and his pale cheeks flushed with embarrassment when his cousin raised her perfect eyebrow at him. Regulus averted his gaze as he was aware that Bellatrix didn’t approve of being spoken to in such a tone. “Sorry. I appreciate your offer as I want to see him dead. But… this blood traitor is mine. I want to be the one who’s going to end his life, though, I want to make him suffer before this happens. A pathetic piece of scum like him doesn’t deserve any mercy.”
“That’s the spirit, Reggie,” the witch chuckled darkly and closed the distance between them. Then she hugged him warmly from behind, put her chin on his right shoulder and looked at his ex-brother’s name with disgust before she focused on yet another burned face. Her younger sister Andromeda was disowned a few years ago because she married a Mudblood. “I know some very deliciously forbidden curses that we can use on these blood traitors to teach them a lesson. Trust me, dear cousin, that the Cruciatus Curse, albeit utterly incredible, is like the Tickling Charm in comparison to them.”
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Regulus shivered with excitement at Bellatrix’s husky voice. She had always been his favourite cousin. She was the eldest among their generation of the Blacks – she was ten years his senior – and the other children always looked up to her. She was a model daughter. She always held herself with grace. She was the best student in her year. She was an accomplished duellist and her wand movement was a pure art. The youngest Black adored watching her cast spells and curses as she reminded him of an artist creating their greatest masterpiece. He aspired to be just like her.
“Will you teach me, please?” he whispered and turned to face her, momentarily focusing his eyes on her left forearm. Bellatrix wore a black dress with long sleeves but they both knew what was hidden beneath it: the Dark Mark. The witch joined the man known as Lord Voldemort soon after her graduation from Hogwarts and he took her under his wings. He opened the doors that had previously been closed even to the dark families like theirs. “Teach me every dark curse and spell you know, and I promise you that when I’m old enough, I will join your Master and help him to get rid of all Mudbloods from our world.”
A small smirk began to form on his cousin’s full, red lips and Regulus held his breath when flames of madness made and appearance in her eyes. Besides, she bent over and almost pressed her mouth to his ear.
“I will teach you, baby cousin of mine, as long as you promise to be a good boy and do as I say without any complaints,” she started in a musical voice. He swallowed as such a tone never meant anything good. “Disobey me and there will be severe punishment. I’m not going to waste my time if you’re not serious about this. Understood?”
“Yes,” he responded hastily. He wanted her to be proud of him. “I won’t disappoint you. I promise.”
And so, she taught him.
He had spent the rest of the summer holiday training under Bellatrix’s firm hand. She was a tyrant and a perfectionist. She forced him to train day and night improving his skills, allowing him to take only three short breaks to grab something to eat. He once dared to complain that he was exhausted and she, in accordance with her promise, disciplined him for that. She put him under the Cruciatus Curse and didn’t release him until she became bored of his screams. He learned his lesson, though, and since then he was a perfect student.
When he returned to Hogwarts to begin his fourth year, he was a changed boy. He was more withdrawn and barely spoke with his friends. Everyone assumed that it was because of what happened between Sirius and his family and he didn’t bother to correct them, even though the truth was different. He spent every single moment in an abandoned classroom in the dungeons where he practiced what his cousin taught him. His traitor brother was still at school with him, so he imagined that he was using the curses on him.
When he turned sixteen, Bellatrix took him to her Master who welcomed him in his ranks with open arms. Lestrange was his most faithful and devoted Death Eater, so it was assumed that he would follow in her footsteps. That day Regulus had a feeling that all of his dreams had come true. Lord Voldemort was… he was unable to find the right words to describe him. The man was everything. He was incredibly powerful – the young Black dared to say that the man was even more powerful than Dumbledore himself – and he was handsome. He was inspiring. He was… Lord Voldemort simply was and that was enough for him. Even breathing seemed to be much simpler when he was in the presence of the wizard.
However, a few things have changed since he became a Death Eater.
During the summer holiday before his last year at Hogwarts, at the age of seventeen, he got married to a French pureblood witch. Charlotte Delacour was a member of a very influential French family and the union between their houses would be highly beneficial for both parties. The girl was born the same year as he was, but she had never attended Beauxbatons Academy of Magic as she was home-schooled her entire life.
His wife was an extremely intelligent and beautiful young woman, and he was aware that many wizards were jealous of him and considered him a lucky man. He, on the other hand, thought something else. For him, the marriage was a punishment for some crimes he had no idea he had ever committed.
Regulus had known Charlotte for years before they tied the knot and there was even a time when he was enchanted by her but… everything changed when Sirius was disowned. His wife was supposed to marry the first-born son of Orion Black – his father – and that would be his brother. He was required to take his place to honour the contract.
He was furious when he was informed what was expected from him. He bluntly expressed his disagreement and agreed on the marriage only because his grandfather Arcturus Black, Duke of Lancaster, who at that time was the Head of their family, took him aside and threatened to disown him if he dared to disobey his orders.  
Disown him!
He had always been a model son and a member of their noble family. He had never dared to do anything against his Patriarch’s wishes. And yet, he was threatened with disownment only because his traitor of a brother neglected his responsibilities and chose the Mudbloods over his flesh and blood. He wanted to scream into oblivion and curse everyone around him. Fortunately, he was approached by Bellatrix who shared with him her words of wisdom.
“You must show her who’s the boss in the relationship,” she informed him matter-of-factly as soon as he had finished his tirade and she then took a sip of her Firewhiskey. “You must set certain boundaries and let her know what she can and cannot do.”
“And how am I supposed to do this?” he asked with a scorn and grabbed his own glass. “Put her under the Imperius Curse? Grandfather would definitely notice it and then he would disown me for sure. He really cares about the union between the families.”
“Putting the daughter of a respected Lord of a foreign country under the Imperious Curse would indeed be a stupid move, yes,” the witch agreed, and a cruel smirk made an appearance on her lips. “However, what I meant was intimidation. You must show her your strength. You must let her know that she’s nobody without you. Dominate her mentally, physically and, of course – sexually.”
“Did you… do the same with Rodolphus?” he hesitantly asked. His cousin’s husband was a very formidable wizard, but when he was in the presence of his wife, he always reminded him of a harmless puppy.
“What else did you expect, Reggie?” she asked with amusement and gently patted his hand. “The House of Black is the most powerful house in Britain. Did you really think that I would allow such a weak man to control my life?”
He unconsciously shook his head. Bellatrix was absolutely right. She must have been a fool to let her husband tell her what to do. The Blacks were the elite of the elite and everyone was aware of that. While in some other noble families – the Malfoys and the Lestranges immediately came to his mind due to his cousins’ marriages – the Head of Houses were titled as Earls, commonly referred to as “Lords,” then the Head of the House of Black was known as the Duke of Lancaster. The Muggles lived under a false assumption that the title of the Duke of Lancaster was always held by the current ruler of the British Monarchy (especially since it was merged with the Crown in the 14th century) but it wasn’t true. The Duchy of Lancaster, since the dawn of times, belonged to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. The Black bloodline had always been present in the British Royal family, as when wizards were forced into hiding the family married their Squibs into royalty to protect their families assets. Serving the family was a sacred thing to the House of Black, therefore, to erase their stain on their honour, the Squibs provided the family with security against the Muggles. Of course, all security measures were taken to make sure that the unmagical blood wouldn’t affect the continuality of their pure blood – magical and social disownment among them.
Regulus rubbed his forehead. Even the Dark Lord seemed to know that the Blacks are untouchable. The wizard had no problems with punishing his followers whenever they annoyed him, but he had never done anything to his cousin. What else, he respected her opinions and confided in her!
“Do as I told you, dear baby cousin of mine, and I promise you that the chit won’t even breathe without your explicit permission,” she continued and emptied her glass. “But if you’re not able to do this, then I’ll gladly take care of her.”
Regulus cringed at that. He wasn’t exactly sure what Bellatrix was doing – even though he had his suspicions – but when the Dark Lord needed to extract information from an exceptionally uncooperative opponent, he would call his cousin and she would take the person with her, and a few minutes later she would have all of the information he wanted.
“I appreciate your offer but…” He took a deep breath and looked at his interlocutor. “I know she used to be in contact with Sirius – and I think that she still is – and most likely still has some feelings for him but… I want her to be obedient, not traumatized for life.”
The woman simply shrugged and looked at her well-groomed nails.
“Do as you please. Just remember that I’m more than willing to put her in her place if you’re unable to do it.”
The youngest Black listened to his cousin and did as she advised him. He never dared to hit his wife, but he let her know from the very beginning that in his eyes she was inferior. During the wedding night, since the marriage required consummation, Regulus claimed what was lawfully his and didn’t even bother to ask Charlotte if she was all right afterwards. He was everything but gentle and loving back then, but he didn’t even care that he had ruined her first time.
Or any other for that matter, as they were sharing the bed only when he wanted to relieve himself. He made it obvious that she knew that now she belonged to him and not to his traitorous brother as she was supposed to.
When the summer holiday came to an end, Regulus was pleased. It was his last year at school and he awaited graduation because it would mean that he could commit himself fully to the Dark Lord’s services. He was the youngest Death Eater in the ranks – his school friend Severus Snape was a year older than him and already graduated – so he was unable to do much as most of the time he was at Hogwarts. Also, because he recently got married, he was asked to spend as much of his free time with his wife so he could provide the next follower. Regulus had no clue what he did to offend his Master to be punished in such a cruel way, but he was truly sorry for whatever it was.
However, by the time he was ready to accomplish his education, Regulus’ life turned upside down.
Arcturus Black had perished unexpectedly in early October and his father became the new Head of House and the Duke of Lancaster, which meant that Regulus was next in line for the titles. Obviously, he was aware that sooner or later he would become the heir apparent – especially since Sirius was out of the picture – but he had never thought that it would happen so suddenly. His grandfather was a man of good health, so his death took everyone by surprise.
Nonetheless, the biggest change happened in December – he finally realised what kind of idiot he really was.
Lord Voldemort summoned his followers for a meeting. A Christmas celebration. The Black Heir was eager to attend the assembly because he desperately craved his Master's presence. He noticed during his Hogwarts days that the longer he was away from the wizard, the more he thought about him and about the many ways in which he could impress him. His wife, of course, wasn’t thrilled by such a turn of events but she knew more than well that it was pointless to say anything. He made it clear to her that she should never question his choices.
At the beginning of the meeting, the wizard asked for a house-elf, so he, unsurprisingly, offered his beloved one – Kreacher – without hesitation. He was as proud as a peacock when his Master decided to take his servant, especially when he noticed that other owners of the house-elves looked at him with envy. Still, the boy’s satisfaction was short-lived because a moment later the Dark Lord announced the other reason of their summon, he wanted to award his faithful Death Eaters by giving them something special.
This “something” turned out to be a person. A young pureblood witch by the name of Annabelle Shafiq. A Ravenclaw girl in his year at school. The Black Heir was flabbergasted when his cheerful cousin brought her inside the room because he had no idea what was going on. But one thing was certain: he was terrified to see the girl beaten and tied up.
“Thank you for your help, Bellatrix,” said Lord Voldemort and turned towards the rest of his followers as soon as his cousin approached him and threw the girl at his feet. “Gentlemen… let me introduce you to Miss Annabelle Shafiq. Her father recently refused to support our goal, so this young lady is going to pay for his insubordination… I hope you’re going to enjoy yourself with her. Regulus, my dear boy, you stay away from it. I have a different task for you this evening. Bella will explain it to you shortly.”
“As you wish, my Lord,” he answered and bowed slightly.
He didn’t want to admit it aloud, but he was relieved when he heard the order. Annabelle was his Herbology partner and even though she was a pretty witch, he had no desire to sleep with her. Especially since he didn't have the right to do that. Moreover, watching as the others decided amongst themselves who was going to take her first was something he would rather avoid.
Lucius Malfoy, the husband of his other cousin, Narcissa, was the one who won the inglorious lottery. Regulus was aware that it wasn’t the right moment to think about it, but he wondered if his wife was aware what her husband was doing when she wasn’t around. He glanced at Bellatrix who stood next to the Dark Lord’s throne and watched with an unpleasant smile as her brother-in-law forced himself on the already naked girl. Apparently, when the Malfoy man was unbuttoning his robes, his fellow companions took care of Annabelle’s clothes.
“You know what’s the most amusing part of it?” Regulus unexpectedly heard Bellatrix’s voice next to his ear and he almost had a heart attack when it happened. He had no idea when she approached him, as he was observing his cousin’s husband. “Lucius actually believes that he is the first one to be inside the girl.”
“What do you mean?” He used the chance that his eldest cousin talked with him to look away – he didn’t want to watch what the others were doing but he was too afraid to show weakness in their presence – and hoped that he sounded confident.
“Our Lord believes, and I, naturally, agree, that I deserve the best, so he allowed me to have some girl-to-girl fun with the brat when we were waiting for your arrival. Virgins are so prude, don’t you think, dear? Though, your wife's French so maybe you're luckier in that department than the rest of us,” she informed him with a chuckle and put her hands on his shoulders. “Now, Reggie, dear baby cousin of mine… our Master is merciful and wishes to spare the girl more suffering. You can only imagine how traumatised she would be if we released her after the meeting… that’s why, once the boys are done with the whore, you’re expected to end her misery.”
His immediate thought was to defy the Dark Lord’s order which was to kill his Herbology partner, as Annabelle was a proper pureblood witch and didn’t deserve to be punished for her father’s decision, but upon quick reflection he decided that to disobey the order of the most powerful Dark wizard in history would be very foolish indeed.
“I serve to please our Lord,” he responded instead and forced himself to smile. “I’m honoured.”
He knew he was a coward. He had chosen his life over Annabelle’s and he felt ashamed because of the choice he made. But he was aware that the Ravenclaw would die today anyway, so he saw no reason in risking his own neck. He was not a foolish Gryffindor. He had dreams to accomplish and dying at such a young age would intervene with them. He also tried to justify his horrendous actions by thinking that he was saving Bellatrix’s life as well, as she would be forced to protect him if anyone – Lord Voldemort included – dared to raise their wand at him.
There was a hierarchy in pureblood families. The most important person in the family was, obviously, the Head of House. The Head was responsible for representing the family in the Wizengamot and the Head’s decision considering any matters in the family was law. Other members were obligated to fulfil whatever the Head wanted: that was one of the reasons why he accepted Charlotte as his wife. Furthermore, the Head of House had the power to disown or bring back members of the family as they pleased. The current Head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black was his father.
The second most important person was the Heir (or the Heiress) apparent. The Heir was the future Head of the family and, after the Head, it was the person the other members were required to protect the most. If something happened to the Head, the Heir would become the leader of the family no matter their age. Currently, Regulus was the Heir, even though it was Sirius’ role before he was disowned. His disownment was crucial because if Orion died before his first-born child was disowned, Sirius would be untouchable and could change the family politics.
His cousin was a Lestrange now but since she has been a Black by blood, she was still obligated to protect him and his father.
“Regulus.” His Master’s voice unexpectedly brought him back down to earth. “It’s time.”
“Yes, my Lord,” he answered immediately, afraid that he could be punished for delay, and bowed slightly before he took his wand out of his sleeve and marched towards the deflowered witch. He cringed when his cousin offered him a wicked smile, imitating what she had done to his schoolmate.
He forced himself to return the gesture. He had no clue how much time had passed since Annabelle was brought to the room, as he was lost in his thoughts most of the time, but she looked terrible. Her body was covered in bruises, blood was running down her head, and she was curled up in the foetal position. She was crying, though no sounds dared to escape her bloodied mouth. Regulus assumed that she had previously been silenced.
The young Black Heir swallowed hard at the sight and anxiously licked his dry lips.
He was going to put her out of her misery. Soon, her unnecessary suffering would come to an end. She would be in a much better place. She would finally be safe. He was going to bring her salvation. He was the one who would save her.
Or so Regulus was trying to convince himself in order to silence his conscience.
He pointed his wand at his schoolmate. As soon as he did that, he could hear the excitement among his companions. He decided to ignore them.
He bit his bottom lip when he saw his hand shaking slightly. There was no time for weakness. Lord Voldemort could not see that he was scared! He was only bringing freedom. He should be confident!
He straightened up and took a deep breath to calm down his nerves, as he could hear his heart beating fast in his ears. He could do this. He would do this. He knew that failure was equal with severe punishment, or worse – death. He was too scared to die!
The incantation was easy to pronounce. He also knew how to properly cast the spell because his cousin made him practice it on the animals she had conjured up during their magic lessons. There would be no pain. He was not going to cause her any harm. He was going to stop the pain. The end would be quick. Faster than falling asleep.
He just had to say the curse aloud. Then everything would be over.
Annabelle, as if knowing that her death was near, lifted her bloodied head with difficulty. His grey eyes met her brown ones. Regulus’ heart stopped when he noticed that only emptiness was visible in them. Had she recognised him? He doubted it.
He closed his eyes. He was not able to look at her. But he had to finish it. Annabelle had suffered enough. It was time to release her from her misery. He re-opened his eyes.
“Avada Kedavra.”
The green light instantly escaped his wand and hit the girl’s body.
Regulus turned his gaze, as he was unable to look at his already dead friend. His companions, however, started cheering loudly the moment their Lord laughed cruelly. He stood quiet. He was shaking. He wanted to vomit. He wanted to disappear.
“I’m so proud of you, Reggie,” he heard Bellatrix’s joyful voice in his ear and a moment later her hands wrapped him in a familiar hug. But this time, he felt nothing. “You’re a good boy. You managed to pass your test. Our Lord is so proud of you.”
“Test?” he asked with confusion. Test? What test? He had no idea what was going on.
“Our Lord wished to find out if you’re ready to become a full member,” she informed him with a sincere smile. “Our Lord and I were aware that you knew the girl the moment she was taken. Everyone, but you, knew what was going to happen tonight, although the others had no clue who’s going to be present here this evening. They only knew that it’s someone you know. Lucius and some other guys thought that you would be too soft to kill your acquaintance. But I knew you were better than this. You won me a thousand galleons.”
Regulus inhaled sharply. He could refuse to kill and… he could live? They set him up? Did Annabelle’s father really reject Lord Voldemort's offer, or did they take her only because they knew each other? He had no idea what to think about it. He was still unable to comprehend what had just happened. He felt dizzy. He thought he was going to be sick.
He vomited as soon as he found himself at home. He didn’t even make it to the toilet. He just emptied his stomach in the living room the moment he left the fireplace. How he managed to stop himself from throwing up in front of everyone would forever stay an unsolved mystery.
Regulus went to the bathroom, paying attention to the fact that nobody else was at home. He wanted to take a shower as he felt dirty, but water didn't take his dirty feeling away. When he finally realised what he had gotten himself into, he couldn’t even look at himself. In absolute fury, he smashed the mirror in the bathroom because it reminded him of what kind of scum he was.
A murderer.
Ever since Sirius ran away from their family home, he used to think that he wanted to see him dead. That was a lie and he realised it just now. Sirius was his brother. He used to be his best friend. He wanted him to suffer as much as he did because he dared to abandon him. But now… when he finally killed his first victim… no. That was wrong. It felt wrong. He was wrong. He was not a murderer.
Unfortunately, he was. He murdered his Herbology partner. But he doubted he would be able to take another life. The problem was… being a Death Eater was a lifetime service. He simply couldn't hand over his resignation. Desertion meant death.
Regulus lowered his eyes. His hands were cut, and blood poured profusely from the wounds, but he did nothing to fix the damage. Instead, he turned on his heel and excused himself from the bathroom; broken glass was scattered on the ceramic tiles.
The next thing he did was to grab a bottle of Firewhiskey – for some reason, they had a lot of it in the house – and drown his sorrows into it. He naively believed that he would be able to forget what he did. But forget he could not.
The young Heir drank and drank and drank. The moment the current bottle was empty, he summoned another one and repeated the action every time there was nothing else at the bottom of it. He didn’t care that it was making him sick. He cared not that he and the sofa were covered in his vomit and blood. His capacity to care about himself was thoroughly exhausted.
One sip. Then another. His hand was raising at a steady pace, allowing him to empty the bottle. One sip after another, the Firewhiskey cascaded down his throat. Each sip an attempt to numb himself from the inside out. He wanted to forget. Maybe the next sip would make him feel better? Maybe the sip after that would allow him to forget his heinous crime?
Damn it.
It wasn’t working.
He was still a murderer.
Why was he denied the right to forget?
The dishevelled Heir yawned. He was tired. So very tired. He closed his eyes. Just for a brief moment.
And then there was only darkness.
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Your blog is great! Have a wonderful day! :)
Aw thanks. I hope you have a great day too
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Hey Sabrina, I was wondering if you were one of the moderators on the account autism-asks? And as the inbox is currently closed there if you could tell me how I might be able to become a moderator? :) if this is the wrong person you can completely ignore this ask :)
Hello! I am the creator of autism-asks, though I’ve been on hiatus from the blog for the past few months as I’ve been dealing with a lot of health problems. 
We are not currently taking applications for mods. The process of taking on new mods is incredibly intensive and challenging and is not something I’m able to manage at this time.
When we start the next mod search, it will be posted through autism-asks. 
-Sabrina
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fleur · 6 years
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I socialised today and met some new people and they were nice and my anxiety didn't kick in until after I left!
i’m proud of you!! growth of all kinds should be celebrated so i hope you indulge in some ‘treat yo self’ behaviour asap! and i know this is something everyone says but really try not to overthink it! if you were comfortable enough with them to not overthink and spike your anxiety there and then, then to me that says everyone had a good time and don’t let yourself convince yourself otherwise 💕
distract me with asks 
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bideas-blog1 · 6 years
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1, 2, 3? :)
1. favourite place in your country?
Weirdly (for me) one of my favourite places in my country is in London. I love going to London in general, but St Paul’s Cathedral is a place of such peace and serenity that I can’t help but love it regardless of not believing in any god.
2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?
I prefer going abroad. No doubt. I do enjoy travelling to different places in Britain, but there’s something about going abroad that makes me feel connected to the whole world, and a part of something bigger than borders can contain.
3. does your country have access to sea?
It doooooooooes. And I live in a seaside town! I moved inland (as far as you can move inland in the UK) for a couple of years and I felt horribly trapped, even though I rarely go to the seaside.
- Mod Purple
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meraudurs · 6 years
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Happy Eid al-Fitr :) I hope you have a nice day
THANK YOUU 💞💞 omg you’re so sweet?? thank you wow i hope you have a beautiful day as well ♡♡
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