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furiousgoldfish · 1 year

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I dislike the term 'trust issues' because it implies that the trust should be the default, and that the one who 'doesn't trust' is somehow morally wrong for it.

In reality, we learned very slowly and painfully where we can and can't trust. People are born with infinite and instinctual trust; as a toddler, you didn't suspect anyone, didn't doubt anyone. You couldn't. It was by repeated interactions, inflicted displeasure, disappointment, pain, betrayal, rejection, abandonment and grief that you learned to predict and mimic other people's behaviour. Your trust has remained only where it has not been broken.

For someone to fear interactions with other people, they would have to be utterly broken by what other people did to them, and how much verbal abuse and trauma they suffered. For someone to not trust others to touch them, they would have to be tortured and severely violated by human touch. People crave both interaction and touch, and for that craving to be overwritten by fear, it had to be proven unbearable and deadly to be touched and interacted with. People don't lose their trust completely for anything less.

Even when all trust is lost, it can be re-established by very slow, cautious and consistent actions. If another person took care to approach you slowly, to be very consistent with their actions, never attempted to violate you, took great care to understand and protect your comfort - after a while of confirming that they mean it, you could potentially feel safe around them. Unless this is exactly how someone approached you before, and they did it right until the point you relaxed, and then they betrayed your trust and hurt you. Sometimes, that happens too. In that case, it becomes even harder to establish trust.

But if someone wants your trust after all you've been put thru, they should earn it. They should figure out your ideal pace and your level of comfort and be respectful of your boundaries, not once or twice, but consistently. And even then, you don't owe your trust to them. You don't owe it to anybody. You do not have to risk your well being for someone else's curiosity or desires or whatever kind of intentions they have with you. You don't need to expose yourself to a potential new trauma just so someone wouldn't accuse you of having 'trust issues'. What exactly do they want to do to you that requires your blind trust? Why should anyone require trust they didn't earn?

Trust comes naturally, and is broken forcefully. If someone refuses to acknowledge that your trust was broken by force, and not by your choice, they're not the kind of person to be trusted.

#trust issues #betrayal #trust to be touched #trust to be interacted with #social anxiety #trauma and trust #getting triggered by people repeating abusive patterns #then accused its your fault you feel uncomfortable around them #like you can control where you do and don't feel comfort in your life #ugh

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blueskittlesart · 9 months

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do you have any thoughts on zelda not staying as a dragon? me personally I like it and am very cool with it mostly because I think zelda should get to be happy forever (and because I'm smart enough to know she changed back because of recall and not some ambiguous power of love lmao) but a lot of people seem to dislike that it made the draconification inconsequential?

i think there's like. some valid concerns surrounding inconsequentiality/"curing" the physical problems characters have as a way of giving them a "happy ending" but I think those concerns don't necessarily apply to totk in the way people seem to be applying them, especially irt zelda's draconification and link's arm.

most of the time when the criticism of this "magic cure" trope is applied to media, it's because the trope is used as a cure-all to erase a character's suffering or trauma and make them "normal" again, and often ignores the character development or themes of the story in favor of giving the character a happy ending. I don't think that applies to totk, though, because the "curing" link and zelda experience is both within the realm of possibility given the worldbuilding present in the game (recall could easily have done it, as you mentioned) AND thematically consistent with the rest of the game. One of if not the most important central themes of totk is the idea of failure and second chances. we see a hyrule that has been given a second chance after link's initial failure with the calamity brought it to the brink of destruction. we see characters who were deeply unhappy and entrenched in the shame of their precalamity mistakes like purah and zelda become active, beloved members of their communities. we see the people of lurelin village take back and rebuild their destroyed home. we watch this kingdom and its people make an unprecedented comeback after a century of struggle and ruin.

Similarly, totk's gameplay is LINK's second chance, his comeback from the initial mistake of losing zelda, of specifically being unable to reach her with his injured hand when they fell. The consequences of that--the master sword's corruption, the loss of his arm, and zelda's draconification, are all supposed to SEEM irreversible, because that's how LINK initially sees them. he believes that he doomed both himself and zelda all because of that SINGLE moment in which he wasn't enough, a viewpoint which is obviously left over from the pressure he experienced to perform to an impossible standard of perfection pre-calamity. The story of totk is about deconstructing that belief and proving it wrong. the mistake he made caused harm, but it's never too late to repair things. he can fix the regional phenomena ganondorf causes and rebuild those communities. he can revitalize the master sword. he can GET ZELDA BACK, with his own arm, uninjured and able to reach her this time. no matter how impossible those things may initially seem, no matter the perceived finality of his mistakes and their consequences, there is always hope. there is always a second chance. no one person's single mistake can doom an entire kingdom for eternity. the fate of hyrule was NEVER resting on link's shoulders alone. he was never their final hope. there was always going to be an after. the whole POINT of the draconification and the loss of link's arm is that they AREN'T final. they ARE inconsequential, because they were born of one mistake and ONE MISTAKE IS NOT THE END ALL.

#like. think about the message the game sends if zelda stays a dragon. we are saying that link CAN'T come back from this mistake.#that one single split-second moment in which he made the wrong move because he had no way of knowing what to do #means that the one person who understands and supports him above all else. the one person who shares his experience and his trauma #the woman he LOVES. is gone forever with no hope of return ever and it's 100% his fault.#that's not true to the themes of botw OR totk. these games are about growth and healing and second chances.#this game was link learning that he gets a second chance. that no move he makes is the final be-all-end-all fuckup.#it removes the pressure and that's the POINT. for a character like link whose life has been DEFINED by pressure #who was taught from a horrifically young age that any wrong move on his part would KILL EVERYONE HE KNEW AND LOVED #this is such an important lesson to learn. removing that pressure/showing him that it was never actually real in the first place #is a crucial step towards healing for him.#asks #zelda analysis #totk spoilers #like i like the idea of lasting consequences dont get me wrong. <draconic features zelda enjoyer #but like. making link keep the fucking rauru arm rubs me the wrong way. the whole point is that he caught her with his own hand in the end #ugh. anyway. you get the idea

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swan2swan · 5 days

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There really is something terrifying and yet beautiful about how Darius's love of dinosaurs was quickly surpassed by his love for his friends and found family.

The revelation that as soon as one dinosaur killed one of his fellow campers, he was done with them? After they'd put their trust in him? Whether he was in love with them or not? That was all it took, one death? One loss? And it was Over? Even the keepsake he shared with his father was cast aside, because the thought of loving something that had brought so much harm was too much? Even with all of his knowledge, the weapon that kept his friends alive, that an animal is just doing what an animal does, he still vilified them and pushed all of that aside?

That is such beautiful, terrifying Character Growth.

#the thought that your emotions can utterly shatter who you are as a person?#UGH #darius bowman #jurassic world: chaos theory #jurassic world: camp cretaceous #the chilling fact is that that probably would have happened in a heartbeat had any of his fellow campers died on those islands #ben was at least something that happened before he grew attached #he hadn't regained his necklace and his identity and he was more haunted and uncertain #while he was still doubting himself and his contributions to the group #though even if Sammy had died to Scorpios I doubt that would have done it #because that was a mad hybrid #but...if the Ceratosaurus or Rexy had done it?#yeah that would have probably broken him in the same way #also it probably was the Second Time Trauma #you get One Get Out of Trauma Free card and Darius spent that on Ben #and just because he got Ben back didn't undo the penalty #like...it ground him to his soul #and Brooklynn's death broke him #and it's SO GOOD

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alissssssaka · 9 months

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#ugh them #the boys #billy butcher #hughie campbell #butchie #butcher x hughie #hughie x butcher #i have like a horrendous art block rn and this #is the only thing i could draw without crying and pulling out my hair and throwing up and yeah #my puppies. my men. my trauma and my therapy

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certified-bi · 3 months

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Thinking about how when Zuko walks through the earth kingdom pretending to be as a refugee and some people notice his eyes but honestly they're not the first thing you notice given the scar and the fact he doesn't let many people near him. No while some of the towns have people who sneer most look on with pity. People like Song and her mother, Lee and his family see the scar and see how the fire nation attacks and maims children. And the worst part is Zuko has little to combat that with because it's true but he's not ready to hear that.

Other assumptions are of course that he's a bastard of some solider with bad luck. That his mother was forced into having him and may the poor woman rest in peace... and later him realizing how true that was of Ursa. What really sets her apart from any of the earth kingdom common women forced into mockery of relationships or forced to sleep with soldiers to stay alive? Maybe the threats were more veiled but it boils down to the same ultimatum.

#atla #anyways i think Ursa gets a lot blame for things she couldnt really control #she was stolen from her home #forced into a marriage and to have children and then forced to see those children hurt #and thats without thinking about how Ozai probably treated her #behind closed doors #read one story where Azula grapples with the fact that Ursa had a lot more trauma by the time she was born and #just the concept of “i dont know how much of it im responsible for... but know it wasnt your fault #ugh gets me #allusions to rape #cw rape #sa #rape #cw sa

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keets-writing-corner · 2 months

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Alright everyone, buckle up and sit down. I was talking with @nerdasaurus1200 on another post and came to the conclusion that I need to write Sera meta so let's freaking GO

I'm mostly gonna be talking about Sera, what we know about her so far, and what makes her tick (aka her fears) and why she's not a bitch/asshole the way apparently so many people like to portray her? (I've mostly just been hanging out with fan art and headcanons specifically about Lucifer in the fandom so I haven't seen these specifically, but someone approached me about how they liked m portrayal of Sera in my fic which was NOT that of an asshole and apparently multiple people are portraying her that way? Idk I haven't seen any but uh yeah let's talk SERA)

Characters are always the most important part of a story, and even if they're not a main character and/or the audience nor the writer know what they want/need, the writer at the very least needs to know How and Why a character makes decisions, instead of just "oh they're an asshole" So let's do that for Sera. Why is she making the decisions she's making? LETS GO

Let's start off by talking about what we know about Sera

She's at least as old as Lucifer, she was there for the creation of earth given the appearance of her silhouette in Charlie's exposition

We know that the exterminations might have been Adam's idea, but it was HER decision to approve them

We know that she's FOR SURE older than Emily

and the other thing we know for sure about her is that she is the High Seraphim (we don't know WHAT that means exactly but clearly it is a position of authority and rule)

So those are the things we know for sure:

She's about as old as Lucifer

She approved the exterminations

She's older than Emily

and she's the high Seraphim

Now I'm going to circle back to all of these points but I want to start off with her relationship with Lucifer

Unfortunately for all of us, the only thing we can say about their relationship with 100% certainty is that they for SURE know each other, either because they were essentially "coworkers" in the past, or because they're both the respective rulers of their realms (even if Sera has some people above her) and they're implied to interact with each other

(at the very least you cannot convince me otherwise that they don't interact. Someone had to have talked to Lucifer about the exterminations for him to have had "approved it" and we know it wasn't Adam because Lucifer hadn't seen Adam since he fell to hell until the finale, and we know that Sera was not only the one to approve said exterminations but also decreed that no one else in heaven know about them. She clearly must have spoken to Lucifer about it because there's nobody else left who had the authority to do that AND knew about them)

So at the very least in present day Sera and Lucifer have some sort of professional relationship as leaders. And I'll come back to this because it's implied that this relationship isn't a very good one, but first let's talk about the past

full stop, we have NO IDEA what sort of relationship Sera and Lucifer might have had when he was still in heaven. But here's the thing, even if their relation was strictly "yeah I know them cuz I work with them, but that's as far as it goes" Lucifer's fall STILL would have been horrifying for Sera to witness. He was the same rank as her, probably no other angel except the elders likely ranked higher, and they still banished him. Charlie's storybook leaves it at that, but Lucifer implies it was violent in his debut episode.

trauma is a funny thing when you think about it, you're just as likely to develop trauma by watching someone else be assaulted as you are for you to have been assaulted. And Sera was there, she likely saw the whole thing happen. So not only did Sera watch how brutal the elders could be to someone who questioned and disobeyed the order, but the fact that it was done to LUCIFER someone of equal rank and authority as her means that absolutely NOBODY is safe from the elders

and this is without taking into account that on some level, she and Lucifer had to have been close. There are no other seraphim in heaven besides her, the elders (who appear to be rather hands off and uninvolved) and Emily. Emily was likely created as a replacement for Lucifer, so at the time, it was basically just her and Lucifer as the only seraphim up there. They not only worked closely together, they likely had a close bond as well. Now I have my own head canon preferences as to what kind of bond, BUT let's ignore that and look at 3 options (although there are likely more, but huuu this post is gonna be long already so let's not push it yeah? )

option 1: equal peers. You are Sera and you've known Lucifer all your life. You two have "grown up" together, learned about the world and your powers together. You're comrades in arms! You know all of each other's secrets! You lean on each other for support as you lead heaven together. You work together all the time. Sure, he can be a little excitable at times but it's so much FUN right? This guy could be your bestie/brother. And you sit back and watch as the only ones with more authority than you, skewer him and banish him to hell for having questioned the order and now there's a metaphorical spear against your back at all times because you know it could have been you instead, and it could still be you if you don't behave

Option 2: Lucifer is your mentor. He's taught you everything you know. The ropes, your powers, the world. He's fantastic! You admire him greatly. He has such energy you could never hope to match. You put him on a pedestal, and in one fell swoop the only people he answers to destroy your mentor in front of you. You are now alone, without any more advice or guidance other than a warning to not step out of line as your mentor once did

Option 3: Lucifer is your apprentice. He's adorable! A little over enthusiastic but who doesn't love someone who's passionate about the things they like? He brings a wonderful energy and vibe, and... he's your responsibility. You try to reign in his wild energy only for the elders to step in and banish him because you failed him and now you know that the elders could do that to you too

So, I'll be honest, option 3 is NOT the one I'm biased towards, but if it ends up being that one, it would make Sera's behavior towards Emily extra heartbreaking. She already failed one apprentice, she will not fail another one, right?

Either way, Sera is terrified of going against the elders because of what they did to Lucifer in spite of his rank. She knows first hand how harsh they can be and because of that, she will do everything in her power to make sure nobody around her falls into the same fate. No one will ever question the elders again, and she will lie and withhold information to make sure that happens

And we're just talking about the INITIAL banishment.

Now why would Sera bring this up, unless what she was most afraid of wasn't even the initial banishment, but of the suffering she clearly knows comes afterwards? And why would she care or even know about the suffering? Well, if it's true that she and Lucifer were close, then regardless if she was spying on him or not the way we know heaven can do, she still watched a cute enthusiastic little angel go from this:

to this

all because because he suffered.

She watched him question, get banished, suffer, and change into someone she didn't recognize, in real time. And the worst part is, she's not only scared of what happened TO him, she's personally scared OF him and what he's become. He might be fallen, but he's still a powerful angel

And this segways into another bullet: she approved the exterminations, but WHY

Charlie's intro implies it was as some sort of punishment towards Lilith who was rallying the demons and they felt threatened

But clearly there's more to this

So first thing I'd like to point out, Sera doesn't look happy about this decision. She mentions as much in the song "You didn't Know" when she outright tells Emily "It was such a hard decision" and earlier in the same episode she outright tells Adam she wouldn't have approved of this if she had known it'd make things "worse"

But this is incomplete. Something doesn't make sense. Sera clearly meets with Lucifer for certain matters as previously established, and Lucifer, in spite of his initial trauma "NO CHARLIE DO NOT TALK TO HEAVEN" knee jerk reaction, never doubted that he COULD in fact get her a meeting with heaven. He outright tells her at the end of episode 5

He never says, "I'll try to get the meeting". He says straight up, I can do this. There isn't a doubt in his mind that he can get this meeting. He knows Sera will meet with him/take his call (idk how he contacts heaven) and will agree to the meeting. We don't really know WHY Sera agreed to this if she thought it was a bad idea and never really intended to entertain the idea to begin with, going as far as to tell Adam to rig the results and calling Charlie misguided. So what's up? Why on earth would she agree to it? Well...?

Sera is scared of the demons of hell, hence why she approved the exterminations, but she's even MORE scared of Lucifer and folded to his request. (or idk maybe there's more going on here and she feels guilt about what happened to him so she folds to him sometimes idk, but for the sake of this meta, SHE'S SCARED OF HIM)

but here's what's kinda weird. Charlie's storybook only mentions LILITH'S involvement with the demons rising in power, not Lucifer. Sera later claims that they were uprising to Emily as the reason she's scared of them and that it's her job to keep everyone safe.

Clearly SOMETHING happened between the creation of Hell and the exterminations being approved that involved BOTH the sinners AND Lucifer that made Sera scared of both. Sera doesn't seem the type to fear without reason. She fears questioning the order because that incurs the elders' wrath. She fears the elders because of what they did to Lucifer. She fears angels falling because she saw how much it hurt Lucifer. Sera is not the type to fear randomly. Clearly there is some sort of thing that happened that made it clear to Sera that Lucifer is to be feared enough to fold to his requests and that the sinners are dangerous enough that it justifies genocide.

And now to bring back the whole Sera is older than Emily. Emily didn't know this otherwise Sera wouldn't have needed to tell her. AKA Emily wasn't even around when said conflict happened. Sera not only had to go through something that clearly traumatized her to the point where she agreed that genocide was a reasonable response, but she had to go through that ALONE. Trauma is hard enough to deal with, but to have to navigate it alone really gives it some steroids it has no business in having

This genuinely makes me wonder how long the exterminations have to have been taking place. It probably took a WHILE for hell to gather up enough numbers that they started making buildings by the look of Charlie's storybook, AND THEN did something against heaven, so this was not happening from day one of hell, far from it. And this also makes me wonder how old exactly is Emily? She strikes me as extremely young

season 2 come out please, I'm working from CRUMBS here, there is so much we don't know

But yeah, all of this to say, Sera isn't just some alpha bitch who's prejudiced against demons (not to say there isn't bias there, there ABSOLUTELY is, ugh) but at her core, she's a leader who underwent a lot of trauma and she's full of fear and she makes decisions, rational, moral or not, based off of that fear. And yeah unfortunately, fear, especially trauma based fear, messes with us in ways we never would expect

a kind man may suddenly resort to violence. The confident argumentative person, may instead end up frozen. Someone who thought they valued their family all their life instead runs away. We may regret what we do in moments in fear, we might even logically know that we're making bad decisions, or decisions that go against our morals. Sera CLEARLY hates that she made the decision to approve extermination, but she holds onto it steadfast because it alleviates the fear

Funnily enough, I don't particularly LIKE Sera. I dislike her microaggressions towards Charlie and her attempts to sabotage her efforts at the meeting by calling upon Adam. But as a writer, looking at the clues I got to say she's a very interesting character to me. She seems like a reasonable authority figure, but she's so full of trauma that she's letting her fear make all of her decisions for her

#hazbin hotel #Sera #sera hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lucifer #Meta #Analysis #character analysis #ugh I wanted to talk about so many other things too #but they would derail the overall topic of SERA #so idk maybe be on the look out for more meta from me?#I almost went off on a whole tangent on how Lucifer and Sera respond to trauma in an eerily similar way #Lucifer was so desperate to just give Charlie whatever she wanted #but the second she said the magic trauma words #there was no hesitation no thoughts on his part just immediate IDEA SHUT DOWN #like the way when you touch a hot surface and the signal of HOT doesnt even reach your brain #your spine just yeets your hand away from it before you can even process what happened #that's what happened to Lucifer #he heard HEAVEN and immediately said NO #Sera is similarly also shutting down ideas from Emily due to #get this #THE SAME EXACT TRAUMA #(lucifer's banishment by the elders)#idk it's pretty fascinating #but yeah Sera isn't a bitch or an asshole she's just scared #for herself but especially for the people she loves

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