#wanna make it more eldritch and horrifying...

[orbdotexe]

This is absolutely unrelated to literally anything I post, ever. Not even Fallen Division, and that actually is HFY/Humans Are Space Orcs, but lemme tell you: If I'm not thinking about Destiny, I'm thinking about my beloved Space Orcs.

the funniest type of character: Dude who could shut up, but refuses to, and uses it to get out of mortal situations constantly. But in a sci-fi setting where his alien comrades aren't used to this.

There's an eldritch Creacher of writhing tentacles, spikes of teeth, full on Carrion monster re-painted, asking him and his captured crewmates how they want to die, they all look terrified, and he just pops OFF.

"Well, yknow, I kinda want my body intact, for the burial and whatnot, so like. Could you just stab me and be done with it?"

"Ah, a fair reques-"

"Oh!, speaking of the burial, do you think you could ship my body home, too? Like, if you're gonna kill me, you could at least do me a favor, ya get me?"

Somewhat... sensible, wanting a body that's able to be buried, but then- He makes a complete 180.

"Yknow what, no, actually, I wanna be on like. Buzzfeed Unsolved. Think you could do that?"

"Wh... what?" as the thing's getting just. so confused. And honestly? Quite uncomfortable, too. This was... not supposed to happen.

"Yeah!! You're like... really fuckin' weird lookin', I bet chu could do some Strange Stuff to a body. What if- hear me out here. What if you made my body unidentifiable? Not like mutilated, alright, but just. an otherwise normal corpse, except no one can figure out if its even human in anything but looks, right?"

And he's just... so SMUG the whole time. Like he sees nothing wrong with what he's saying, meanwhile the Entity looks more and more uncomfortable (didn't even know a mass of flesh could do that!) and the entire crew just looks horrified. They'd heard that humans were insane, and theirs was certainly a little weird, but this? Oh, they never expected this.

And he keeps going! He goes on for half an hour, just completely incoherent and ranting and raving about ways to kill him, and oh the crew's half-certain his brain had been fried the moment he laid eyes upon the Horror because no sane sapient would ever even consider any of this.

#humans are space orcs #my beloved <3 #i dunno I just thought this was funny- #not destiny

[someidiotwithalaptop]

"I'm afraid I haven't been entirely honest with you Ruby...

I'm not like the other Afterans here. I'm cursed with curiosity.

I need to know everything, but more than anything, I need to know why my makers left me here, only to leave and make all of—"

Okay. OKAY. So.

CURIOUS CAT IS EVER AFTER SALEM?!?!?!?!? Like, Cursed? Angry at the gods?? Lying to advance their plans???

If these are the same "makers" then the Brother Gods truly are the real villains here holy fuck

Only to leave and make all of what? Because if they were about to say "Remnant" then it's possible the Ever After was the first draft and Remnant the second.

I see you CRWBY. I see you turning the cat into an eldritch horror. And listen it was a noble effort to make them so horrifying that even the most die-hard cat lover cannot stan. But, unfortunately:

Still too cute, I just wanna scritch their evil little ears and poke their evil little toe beans and slip them evil catnip.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 9 #curious cat rwby

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I finally read again today, chapters 34-39 this time

Usually I read these books in german while on the bus but today I forgot my book, but fortunately, I had some time to go to the library and they had it, but only in english. And since I was sitting at a table with my phone, I was able to take notes live as I read, and I'd like to share those with you rather than doing what I usually do and trying to sum up all of my thoughts a few hours later

Chapter 35:

the fact that NO ONE in the summer court recognized Feyre is absolutely ridiculous, it really is like her accomplishments from the first just vanished, no wonder so many people recommend just skipping ahead to MAF i bet that would make the reading experience wayyyyy less frustrating

shes cursing herself from being so out of shape despite Cassian's 'lessons' and that reminds me, at the start of ACOMAF her internal monologue and other characters kept remarking on how thin and frail she had become and I dont think its come up since she started staying at the NC permanently, great mental health rep girlie

"I let instinct, no doubt granted from Rhys, guide me forward." Come onnnnnnnn, can Feyre not be cool on her own for one (1) moment

"Amarathan did not break that kindness [from before UTM]." no, but Rhys sure did

Once again, Feyre is horrified at her violating Tarquin's mind, rightfully so, and yet she continues to hang out with His Majesty, The King of Violating Minds

Rhys tells Feyre that she "thinks like an Illyrian", which is very strange to me given that Illyrian women are literally not allowed to do anything other than housework and Illyrian men are seemingly all violent misogynists whom Rhys hates

Chapter 36:

"I'd bet they wouldn't have handed over that book" but you didnt ask them though??? Like, they couldve just told Tarquin about their plans, he seems reasonable enough, even if Cresseida and Varian dont agree, he as high lord should be able to override their opinions easily and if that doesnt work out THEN you can go ahead and steal it. Sure, maybe they wouldve trippled security and/or thrown them out of the SC but that should hardly be an obstacle for The Most Powerful Highlord In The History Of Prythian and his eldritch girl best friend

Okay, so Rhysand did pack illyrian leathers for her which is nice, but still, I see no reason why Feyre had to wear dresses for this (and be okay with wearkng dresses when she absolutely wasnt at the start of ACOMAF) when the NC clearly has more feminine fashion involving pants

Theres lead in this vaguely medieval fantasy world?? And theyve had for like centuries?? That seems weird to me I'll have to look into that i think

Okay, so Feyre shapeshifted into Tarquin and she says that she didnt let any part of herself that wasnt Tarquin shine through while she opened the books locks, but those shapeshifting powers are Tamlin's though. That has some very interesting implications but tbh idk if I trust sjm to have thought about it that much

"I am summer; I am sea and sun and green things" that just sounds kinda silly, also I feel like it shouldve been "I am sea and sun and golden sand" given the beach vibes that the Summer Court has

Chapter 37:

note to self: lookup what Leshon Hakodesh is exactly bc theres no way its not some random mythological term that sjm is just dropping into her world [edit: its just the jewish term for 'the Holy Tongue', im not gonna question the implications of that any more than im gonna question the existence of Nyx as a minor goddess or something in this world]

Rhysand doesnt tells anyone jackshit and Cassian is ready to stab Amren if she dares go against him, why are these jokers friends again?

Chapter 38:

granted, its been a while since I read this book and my memory isnt the best, but why exactly does Rhysand need to keep the 'why' of their mission secret? wasnt their mission just to find the cauldron before Hybern does and prevent a war with prythian and the human world?? I guess maybe Rhys doesnt wanna reveal his secret goodness or whatever, but he couldve just had Feyre act as some kind of emissary to the rest of Prythian, like, just have her pretend this is information she found out by herself at the Night Court and have her relay it to the other courts, Feyre has saved them before they have no reason not to listen to her

"'I think Tarquin wanted to be my friend.'" question, is Tarquin/Rhys a thing? Obviously Rhys doesnt deserve Tarquin but idk, there could be something there I think. they have some nice aesthetic contrasts

why would Feyre say stuff like "mother above" when thats not a deity she believed in for most of her life? Like, I already talked about how Feyre clearly had the impulse to pray in ACOTAR she just didnt do it because the names of the mortal gods have been long forgotten, but idk, I feel like her starting to embrace fae religion warrants more exploration. and fae religion in general warrants more exploration tbh

"'Its not the end of the world if you [make a mistake] every now and then'" hello??? Feyre, he made you steal from a man that has been nothing but kind to you for no reason and now theres a bounty on your heads!! And lets not forget that Rhys, Amren and Feyre are all highranking politicians in the night court, youre lucky the SC is too occupied with rebuilding itself to declare war on your asses

I keep saying this, its so infuriating how well Feyre and Rhysand already get along when theyve spent like, 2 or maybe 3 months if Im being very generous, worth of time together aside from their time UTM

god Feysand flirting is the most straight bullshit to ever straight bullshit I feel like im gonna die

Shes thinking about buying RED "lacy things" when that was meant to be a trigger for her, did no one edit this

"a sensual male voice chuckled with midnight laughter" istg the prose is so much worse in english

Feyre having to make herself focus to not look at Rhysand dick after he just had a horrible nightmare has the same energy as Bryce Crescent City thinking about how hot and muscular Hunt is while he just completely shut down because he had to kill someone

"The hole in my chest that was slowly starting to heal over" can you BE more unsubtle

Chapter 39:

Rhysand tattooing the symbol of the nightcourt onto both his knees because he "will bow for no one and nothing but his crown" is actually so funny, i wish he did more cringefail bullshit like that

I think out of all the inner circle relationships, I like Amren and Feyre the best so far and I absolutely do not believe that Cassian cares about Amren at all, much less sees her as family, that guy would kill her in a heartbeat if he could

forgive my aromanticness, but I really dont like the thing that Amren and Varian have going on, cant there be ONE character that doesnt have some stupid romance subplot in this world

Oh, so Mor telling Feyre very little of any specific plans they have is fine, but if someone from the spring court does it theyre the worst person ever

"[Cassian told me] that my family was full of bossy, know-it-all females" oh but hes sooooo much better than all those other illyrians who are all sexist brutes

Why are Beron and Helion the only ones with a last name

"[Strolling through Velaris with Mor] was perhaps my favorite, and the female certainly excelled at finding ways to spend money" are you fucking kidding me, are there actually people who consider a book with this kind of blatant 'women b shopping' bullshit to be feminist?

"'I wanted to protect my people, change the perceptions of the Illyrians, and eliminate the corruption that plagued the land'" wow Rhys and youve done such a good job at all of those things in the 500 years youve been on the throne

"[Tamlin] resented being High Lord — and maybe... maybe that was part of why the court had become what it was" ???? girlie what are you talking about, the spring court is fine right now it doesnt get destroyed until ACOWAR. which is also you fault

so Feyre is once again wearing a chiffon gown for political reasons when she could very well be wearing pants and shes completely fine with that. great

And Mor is wearing red and Feyre is completely unbothered by it, why give her a trigger like that if it just stops mattering the second shes out of the spring court

#hope you like this glimpse into my twisted mind as i read this book #anti acotar #anti sjm #anti acomaf #flames and darkness liveblog

[xamaxenta]

Respectfully,

Ace ; you have a bird inside of you? Neat, can I see them? You wanna unleash your natural instincts?

Marco; …No.

Don’t mean to spam, but Ace needs to understand there isn’t a “little bird” inside Marco. It isn’t sexy it’s life threatening, all in favour of making the phoenix and eldritch being

Ace calls Marco a dove his little chickadee

Marco indulging this but also damage controlling inwardly because the Phoenix takes great offense to being called both little and dove

It isnt sexy its horrifying, the form Marco takes on for battle is a far more palatable version of his phoenix, people expect a beautiful brilliant bird of flames, not the raptor horror lurking beneath the supposed grace and beauty, so Marco gives what people expect of him hes nice like that

Ace however would still find it sexy should he ever encounter the real beast

#i love… this. #i love the skull head and the glowinf eyes #other art #art submissions #lovely colours too

[creepylittlelady]

I am so desperate to share these so, Slenderman Headcanons [PUPPET STRINGS LORE DUMP]

Okay so I wanted to wait until the day someone asked about Slenderman and Zalgo's characterisation in my AU, but I don't know when that time will come and I seriously NEED to share this with all of you.

This AU has been in the works since 2016 and has been my number 1 hyperfixation, and Slenderman is one characters that I had the most fun making. I love love LOVE every rendition of him, from Your Dad Slenderman to EVIL MANIPULATIVE ELDRITCH MONSTER. I want to give homage to both of these renditions by bringing in my own Slender to the mix! I hope you like it, because Zalgo will get his own post very soon ;)

I'm currently writing his backstory on AO3! Chapter 5 should be up soon ;)

As I've said previously, Slenderman and Zalgo are my favourite characters! I just wanna lore dump about him right now because BRAINROT BRAINROT BRAINROT

So without further ado...

The "Slenderman"

-He's not actually one being or entity, although he'd like you to believe otherwise. He's actually a hivemind of two consciousnesses; Lord Operator, and the Vengeful Spirit Charles.

-Slenderman is actually just the body that's basically holding these two entities hostage, technically. Neither of them can escape, although they've definitely tried. Multiple times. Slenderman doesn't have a consciousness of his own and is just a horrifying mixture of the two of them combined into one.

-NEITHER OF THEM ARE HAVING A FUN TIME. They hate it and will go to great lengths to get out. His brain is just the two of them arguing about who gets to control the body at any given moment, and they both have ulterior motives of their own.

-A little backstory: Charles, the Vengeful Spirit, was sacrificed to the Operator and made a deal with him that he would allow himself to be used a Vessel in exchange for his lifespan to be elongated. However over the years Operator began to use Charles' body for more and more depraved purposes. Eventually this drove him insane and caused him to kill himself. However at that point the Operator was so co-dependant on his soul that it basically killed it too, and it had to use some of its remaining abilities to create a new body so that neither of them would really die.

-When Charles is fully in control, he is a 'decently' humane being and can sometimes even be a Father Figure to some of the residents of the Mansion. However he still retains some of his negative traits from life, such as being nihilistic and at times selfish. He's sociopathic as a joke and mainly spends his days trying desperately to fix whatever things he did when the Operator took over.

-When it's Charles, he actually has a good relationship with all of the Residents, and has more of a sit-com Boss-Employee relationship with the Proxies, often laughing at their misfortune. Although he and Sally argue a lot Sally is very close to him when he's Charles.

The same thing cannot be said for when its the Operator.

-The Operator first and foremost is a former God. Although it wasn't a very well-known God, it still said a web of loyal worshippers. However ever since its power was (mostly) stripped away and had to unwillingly transport itself into this new body, its hated every second of it there. The reasons why the Proxies exist in the first place is to create new followers for it so it can gain more power.

-It's absolutely HORRIBLE to everyone else when it takes over. He's mentally and physically abusive, lashing out at everyone who dares disobey it. Its manipulative as well, and the Pastas who are sensitive to that thing, like Toby, Natalie etc often lock themselves away when its taken over.

-Several rooms that Charles doesn't know the purpose of are usually used by the Operator to torture the residents into submission. There are multiple Basements and secret rooms that its locked people inside to get them to 'obey' its command.

-Several of the Slenderverse stories, like Marble Hornets happened when the Operator took over. It often goes unconscious again and leaves Slenderman to deal with the consequences.

(Okay to explain, when I talk about the Operator specifically I'll refer to it as 'Operator', but when its Charles I'll refer to him as Slenderman, Slender, Slendy etc).

-Slenderman is not having a fun time. Random people keep on confronting him and coming up to him when he has no idea who they are and why they're here. He has NO idea on who Toby, Masky or Hoodie are nor how they ended up here. However he's apathetic to it and decided to be decent to them for as long as he's the one in charge of the Slenderman body.

-Whenever the Operator becomes too violent, Zalgo has to come and knock it out. Yep, Zalgo has to beat the shit out of it and basically chain Slender up to get it out, or at least sedate it enough so that it doesn't do anything violent.

-Remember how I mentioned how they've both desperately tried to leave? Yeah, the Slenderman body is fucking terrifying to look at naked. Its severely malnourished, with bruises, shock wounds, stab wounds, slash wounds, cilice wounds and just open wounds EVERYWHERE. They've both tried to leave by any means necessary, and are slowly killing the vessel to try and escape.

-More lore important characters such as Zalgo, Lazari, EJ and Ben sort deal with problems like this as well. But Jesus fucking Christ is Slenderman having a horrible time. He has to basically deal with his own Slender Sickness (Slender Sickness actually comes from the Operator, since most mortals can't perceive Gods without their bodies basically shutting down).

-If Masky and Hoodie are slowly going insane from Slender Sickness, Slender is basically killing himself from it. He's always on the verge of psychosis, suffering from some kind of really disgusting illness, or otherwise just not having a great time. The body is a-okay when its the Operator, but when its Slenderman he's just not having fun.

-Its basically eternal damnation being stuck in that body. Its like an eternal punishment of lies and deceit, waking up every day not knowing that tortures you'll suffer through. However since this has been going on for about 123 years now, they're both used to it at this point.

-Due to being used as vessel and basically being trapped in an endless cycle of torment since the ripe age of 11, Slender's a bit apathetic to the Proxies' situation.

For Example:

Masky: You do realise that we're all suffering because of you, right? Slender: It's not even that deep Timothy we all get mentally and physically imprisoned by a nonhuman Entity at times you just have to deal with it. Masky: Slender, are you okay? Slender: *vomits out a dead corpse* yes why wouldn't I be.

Although he does feel remorse for the fact that Masky, Hoodie and Toby's situation will probably never improve due to the Operator basically holding them captive at the Labrinth, he just doesn't feel that much sympathy for them, as that idea of being used for an upper beings entertainment is just normalised to him.

-Despite the fact that some of the Pastas call him dad are nice to him, a lot of them hate him. Some of the ghost kids refuse to go near him due to the Operator's actions, and his brothers are all scared of him, although Operator cut contact with them years ago.

-One bittersweet tidbit: Slenderman has tentacles because it represents Charles' favourite animal; Octopi.

Okay that's like the only sweet headcanon I have for this guy.

-Slender isn't a good person even though he's a lot better than Operator, although he is actively trying to be a better person for the Pastas' benefit, due to being a vengeful spirit he's definitely prone to violent fits. He can and will hurt you if you agitate him enough, even though it doesn't happen often.

-The Slenderman Vessel is incredibly unstable, so neither of them know their own strength. Because of this, Slender has accidentally flung Toby out of a window more times than he would care to admit.

Also sometimes it just doesn't do what it's told? There's like a 5% chance that it just doesn't teleport where you want it to at any given point, which is very inconvenient.

-Often times when Slender knows the Operator is about to take over (he doesnt' really have a choice on when it happens), he just leaves the Labrinth. He usually stays in Zalgo's castle for months, even a year on end. Yes, the Operator can stay for THAT long.

Do any of the other Residents know?

-As a general rule of thumb; no, they don't. Neither Charles nor the Operator will tell, and even when Charles tries to explain whats happening the Operator will ALWAYS stop him by any means necessary.

Once, he tried to explain what happened after disappearing for half a year, but the Operator had forcibly forced his body to shut down, so he was just sitting there unconscious.

Slender: It all started when I was 11 years o- *starts choking* Hoodie: Oh my god is he having a stroke Slender: *is just unconscious sitting in his chair* Masky: Does this mean Payday is getting delayed or do I still get a raise? Toby: Man wtf

-Due to this unpredictability on whether they'll get 'Nice Slender' or 'Mean Slender' at any given moment, most of the Pastas are dead terrified of him. Although they won't show it sometimes when they see him ominously walking the halls at night or if he doesn't show up for breakfast that morning they all subconsciously start worrying that the Mean Slender's back.

-Sally is especially terrified of him. Slender brought her to the Mansion out of the Operator's wishes, which he HATES. Everytime the Operator comes out he tries to actively harm Sally, which is why she hides in her room for months on end or runs to the back end of the forest.

-Ben, EJ and Lazari all kind of understand whats happening, at least they have a semblance of an idea. Toby knows for the most part due to doing some snooping. However nobody else has a clue and it will probably stay like that for a long time.

#littlelady #creepypasta #ben drowned #creepypasta fandom #slenderman #zalgo creepypasta #jeff the killer #sally williams #lazari creepypasta #lazari swann #ticci toby #toby rogers #tobias erin rogers #toby erin rogers #eyeless jack #tobias rogers #ben drowneed #slenderman headcanons #creepypasta au #puppet strings #clockwork #clockwork creepypasta #natalie ouellette #lifeless lucy #hoodie creepypasta #masky creepypasta #masky mh #proxy #hoody #creepypasta headcanons

[bookish-monster]

RECOMMENDATION

How to Get a Girlfriend (When You're a Terrifying Monster)

by Marie Cardno - find her on Twitter and Instagram

the storygraph link will provide information such as page count, publication date, and community-created content warnings.

How to Get a Girlfriend (When You’re a Terrifying Monster) by Marie Cardno advertises itself as a cozy fantasy romance between a scientist-witch and an eldritch horror (both of whom use she/her pronouns). It’s also the first installment of a duology!

Our story opens with Trillin, the eldritch horror, gaining consciousness as she finds herself separated from the predatory Cthulhian entity known as the Endless in the dimension where they live. She is now capable of having an individual personality as well as wants and desires, and one of the first things she sees upon awakening is Sian, the scientist-witch who has entered the Endless’ dimension to study its inhabitants. (Trillin figures out her individual wants and desires pretty quickly after Sian shows up). 

It’s adorably weird—Cardno doesn’t shy away from the body horror and describes more ever-multiplying teeth and eyeballs than any human is normally comfortable with, but Trillin is, if you will believe this, shy. She has very little life experience that is 100% hers (although she possesses hazy memories of everything the Endless has experienced, since she broke off from it) and when she meets Sian for the first time she freezes up and afterwards feels incredibly embarrassed. Imagine a teenage girl trying to talk to her crush, except the teenage girl in question has over a dozen eyeballs and lots of tentacles and cilia and is generally terrifying to look at.

Cardno is a master of the “creepy cute” school of creature design. Trillin is horrifying to behold, but she’s also adorable and sweet. Likewise, Sian rescues a cat-rabbit-bug-thing that is described as follows: “Trillin stared at the [creature]. It was tiny, and fluffy, and had made itself six tentative legs and two furry antennae on top of its head. It had one eye, then three, and settled on six.” Don’t you just wanna go “awwww” and pet it?

This is a weird book, but it’s also sweet enough to induce dental problems. In some ways the prose reminds me of Terry Pratchett’s writing style for the Discworld series, but with a bouncier and more happy-go-lucky edge; as a cozy fantasy romance, the reader and author both know that the stakes are lower here. Cardno maintains wit and humor throughout her novella—this really is a good book to curl up with when you want something safe, warm, weird, and funny all at once.

Sian herself is a great character as well. She’s big and buff but also unashamedly nerdy, and very tenacious, optimistic, and caring. It takes a very special kind of person to say “nice tentacles” to an eldritch horror as soon as you hop through a portal into a dimension that no other human researcher has ever returned alive from, but Sian makes it work. She’s hysterically funny and quite probably insane, and her growing feelings for Trillin are so cute.

This novella comes in at just over a hundred pages and is a treat all around. Trillin, Sian, and their new pet get into some amazing hijinks to stay alive as the Endless tries to hunt them down and absorb them into its mass, and I devoured the story in just about a single sitting. Overall, I would definitely recommend this to anyone in the mood for some tentacle-y sapphic sweetness.

Find this book on Amazon Kindle (US)

#bookblr #monster lover #monster romance #book recommendation #terato #book lover #human x monster #sapphic books #cozy fantasy #fantasy romance #book recs #lgbt fiction #wlw fiction #sapphic fiction

[hoardingpuffin]

I am bored so I am gonna rank my DND and other RPG characters I've played thus far from 1 to 10.

Maria the Mafia Bride - 2/10

First ever RPG character I played, and I didn't create her, because that game we all got a randomized character from our GM. Liked the campaign (we were all time travellers from different eras - one other character was a knight from the crusades named Melvin who, through a series of happenstances, ended up wearing one bright red stiletto heel, and another other character was a Dutch ballerina who one-hitted Billy the Kid with her dance skill. Iconic shit), but the character wasn't really my thing.

Jacen, the Troubled Kid - 2/10

This was the second campaign I played and it was sort-of-but-not-really superpowers themed? We all had powers but the universe was kinda weird and nobody really got to do much, especially with our powers? So I kind of never got to explore him in RP and I still am slightly salty about it.

The Nerd - 3/10

I do not remember her name anymore but this was for a Halloween oneshot where we all played American High School archetypes (except for one of our players who chose to be the janitor? Who for some reason hung out with all the teens?). I remember nothing about this oneshot except that everyone was dead at the end and that my character lugged around a huge encyklopedia that she ended up throwing at someone, which I think is neat.

Plush Octopus - 5/10

This was for a super chaotic Toy Story themed oneshot that somehow ended up in bloodshed? I still am not sure how exactly that happened but there was a stint where a toy dragon was being chased into a goldfish tank by the family cat.

Aevetia - 8/10

We played a WoW themed campaign, which was certainly challenging seeing that most of us knew zilch about World of Warcraft. Aevetia was a draenai huntress who was literally incapable of negative emotions, and she was so much fun to play. I think this was the first time I played a character that was somewhat able to hold herself in a battle and I definitely loved that. Plus, first time I felt like we actually had a more roleplay and improv based campaign which is what I prefer over just-combat. She did also get whacked in the face with the Doomhammer twice thanks to another player failing their rolls. Docking points because when playing a character who cannot feel anger that limits a lot of what you can do, plus it was hard to navigate a setting I knew zilch about.

Eiorna the Giant Magpie - 9/10

MY GIRL! I love her so much, I wanna play her again so bad. She's a 7 foot tall avian woman whose wings got burnt off, leaving her with only sceleton remains so she's creepy as hell visually, but her personality is about as intimidating as candy floss. Also she had a bag of shiny stuff she lugged around called The Trashbag and she would occasionally just reach in there and pull out shinies to tie them to her wingbones - oblivious to the fact that that was highkey horrifying to anyone around her. Docking one point because when I played her she was really really ditzy and I think I'd probably revise her a it before playing her again.

Gwyn the Rabbitfolk Barbarian - 8/10

I only played her for one session before the campaign was abandoned but she was so fun! The whole concept of a two foot white fluffy bunny with a slingshot raging in a tavern was fantastic, I wish I could have played her more. Docking points for my choice of making her Scottish (I cannot do a Scottish accent to save my arse and I think she just kept drifting off into Russian somehow).

Bex the Stablemaster - 10/10

My first ever tank, and the first time I ever played a queer character around my friends. This was for a Victorian era vibe Halloween oneshot and Bex was a strong she/they lesbian. Need I say more?

Tancred the Weather Witch - 9/10

This was for like, a sort of Eldritch entity cultist themed oneshot? My character was maybe the only one who actually dealt damage and he was soooo fun. Now, did I essentially steal him from the Charlie Bone series? Yes. But for a oneshot it was fine, plus storm powers >

Zami - 10/10

If Tramp from Lady and the Tramp was a red tiefling who adopted about fifty kids. No notes, love him, he is perfect.

Veera Match - 9/10

My current Star Wars campaign character, a mother who is an ex-empirial soldier who is hunting down the man who killed her wife and stole her force sensitive child. Absolutely adore her but the campaign is just kinda not it. Might very well recycle her at some point though.

Nikolai Ortsev the Vampirist - 7/10

Made him for what was supposed to be a Halloween oneshot set in our GMs homebrew world. Nikolai's a self-obsessed anthropologist who believes he is the one who can singlehandedly unite the vampire and human societies... by becoming a vampire. Listen, he's my vain, slightly stupid gay scientist man and I love him - however I think he would have been better suited for a long-term campaign than a oneshot. We're not through with that story so we'll see where it goes with him.

The Toy Soldier - 10/10

Exactly what it sounds like: I played the Toy Soldier of The Mechanisms for another Halloween oneshot and IT WAS A BLAST. Easily the silliest and yet most damage-dealing character I have played to date. So so much fun. I love it, it's brilliant.

Vikesh Joiko - 10/10

He is my baby - purple tiefling cleric of a light deity, certified pretty boy, looks gorgeous in a ballgown, can and will flirt with any handsome man who seems willing, and his weapon of choice are dual axes. Also he is not above tearing out another tiefling's fangs and wearing them as jewellery when that other person is acting like a major creep. Love him, love him so much.

#dnd #dnd character #dnd campaign #my dnd characters #ttrpg #ttrpg character #the toy soldier #character ranking #pen and paper rpg

[pizza-games-and-more]

Dannggg, the cheeseslimes got thrown into the blender D: In all seriousness, that would be absolutely terrible for Maria, seeing her love meshed into an eldritch abomination like that... at least it all works out in the end, but I'm nervous about what the two Pizzas are going to get up to next. I'm glad I could help with your confidence in posting, because all of your concepts are amazing to read.

Oh, you wanna know how horrified Maria was?

She spent a solid few minutes just staring in horror, and Noisette had to snap her out of it. Once she did, she found where Vigi was in the Cheesebomination and used her Cool Spy Gadgets to get to him and try to pull him out. Her efforts were useless and she was now in danger, but she kept desperately trying anyway.

It took The Noise's crazy-enough-to-work plan of blowing it up from the inside to free everyone, but also knocked Maria into a wall, knocking her out as a result.

Once Vigi snapped out of his dazed state upon being freed, as soon as he noticed Maria, he instantly decided to stay with her while the others go ahead to make sure she's okay. Since he wasn't really in the best state to fight, that was probably for the best.

Also regarding the Pizzas' plans... without spoiling anything, I've seen your AU (which is great btw, I'm looking forward to seeing more of it) and when you posted the powerups and other effects for Vigert, one of them in particular made me chuckle a little because I had a very similar idea, but with completely different context and execution. And he's not alone in that in my case. That's all I'll say.

#ask #mod post #concept: pizza tower the series #since it discusses a specific episode

[cryptidofthekeys]

Pizza Tower, huh? I don’t know anything about it, but the characters seem really cool. I like that The Noise character is based of the Domino’s Noid. The Noid is a big favorite, so it made me smile when I found out about this. Still don’t know much about Fake Peppino though. Would you mind telling me more about him?

I think The Noise is very scrunkly, I've seen images bout Domino's Noid but other than that I have,, no idea anything about the creacher (my first reaction to him was O H... WH...WHAT IS THAT... B E A S T?)

Also honestly,, I saw a bit of Pizza Tower before, didn't expect to get into it at all,, but then I saw Fake Peppino and just INSTANTANEOUSLY b o o m- bc of course,, my dumbass would grow attached to that

fjgkdlgfjdfls I gotta put a read more on this

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Honestly? I'll spare you from me gushing about Feppino (I call him Fakey, Feppi, or Feppino) ...if I don't do this and I start gushing about- I'm sorry in advance but all I know in his canon is just that,, he's a clone of Peppino

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He VERY much seems to wanna act like him in every way possible, copying him as much as he can ...But also VERY much failing to copy any sorta humanity, I mean considering he speaks backwards and just what kind of amalgamation he CAN turn into (via the chase sequence)

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he's not... The best at imitating humans ...Although I do love the irony in the motto one of his signs has 'Nothing Compares' gotta love the irony of that being attached to a clone

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Honestly,, I see two different sides of Feppi's portrayal fgjkdjfds I've seen people make him the most fucking terrifying thing you've ever seen or could see, body horror galore, abomination that by all means SHOULD N O T exist but does

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and then, hehehe b-big froggie <3 just a silly goofy funky guy who honestly doesn't seem to mean any genuine harm, he's just happy to be here tbh

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me personally I am BOTH sides- I think he can be both the most horrifying abomination and also just a silly big guy- SOMETIMES he just gets in a silly goofy mood! fgkdjgdkfs I fucking adore Feppino thoughu v much,, he uh... actually He's one of my comfort characters ngl gfkdjgdfls

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I have noticed some interesting things about ''his'' restaurant in the canon game- I remember the sign saying 'Bruno's Pizza' which honestly makes me curious,, was it just a clone that was made to resemble Peppino's likeness in the first place?

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Was Bruno just some dude who owned the restaurant and Feppino kinda... ya know, came and took over

. . .

Was H E Bruno who got turned into a fucking horrifying amalgamation of a being that's now trying to impersonate Peppino? ...Me personally- ngl,, while I like everyone's theories n shit on Feppi about being Bruno

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I kinda just like the thought of Feppino n o t being created by Pizzahead (...I think that was his name,, you'd think I could remember a clown themed character's name oofy) or anything like that- I like the thought of him just existing in general

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like,, he was just a fucking creature who saw Peppino first more than likely and decided t h i s... This is the form I'll take <3 like he is just some weird,, monstrous creature (eldritch horror, alien, whatever) who is incredibly fascinated with humans (like with p much EVERYTHING they do) he found a form he liked, and now it wants to p much just imitate humans, specifically Peppino

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But that's uh besides the point fgjdkjfsk the short version of this is just: hehe Fake Peppino is just a silly goofy big guy

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I guess for my OWN cents added in,, I usually use He/It pronouns on Feppino, and also legit gfjkdhgdfks ngl I have like- well one: Crossover with Spooky Month bc I looked at this creachur and said hm,, CC would like this dude-

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and 2: Literally have a fuckin,, Pizza Tower OC that I put with him (it's an AU branching off from the canon for said OC fjdkjghdfskd)

#Chase Answers #thank you my anonymous friend <3 #fake peppino #only gonna tag that bc i dont wanna spAm tag #idk I like the thought of it just being like 'no one created it' it simply exists when it should not #it just has always existed without the aid of Pizzahead (even tho it probs makes no sense) and just happened #to like- see Peppino and said ... h m... I like this one <3 my form now

[vulpixelates]

@ocean-in-my-rebel-soul replied to your post “re: the post about magic users w different...”:

I'd love to hear more about your occultist, if you wanna share!

​the occultist is actually my bestie dia's character not mine but she's very cool so i asked her in dms about her backstory (it hasn't come up a whole lot yet in-game) and here's what she had to say!

i think she was like an urchin who just wanted to Make It in amn (edit: this is the name of the country she's from, it is a capitalist hellhole) and make money etc. she got a little fucked up from The Horrors just from being dirt poor and living on the streets, and when she taught herself to read her only goal was just to get a decent job tbh. which eventually she did, she got legitimate work at a library and kept working herself to death in there too, trying to make money and learn so she could make more money. but all nelinha's life she was like desperately haunted by the dream of a life she didn't have, haunted by the ghost of a better, stillborn world. thats what drove her to materialistic pursuits, she thought she could make it to that life someday. that imagined world/life became more real and substantial the more she learned and could flesh it out, but at the same time the more she learned the more clear it became that that world was distant from her and nothing she was doing was bringing it closer. eventually she was so haunted by the life she could never have and consumed by her alienation from this world that the unborn world haunting her took on a life of its own, it became bigger than just her mind. her thoughts about it began to think themselves and her dreams about it began to dream of her. she was just a tendril of that world reaching out into the mortal realm. she retroactively became an eldritch aasimar at that point asd;lghk ultimately to summarize, nelinha doesn't really see herself as someone who's in contact with some distant eldritch other like the Poser Cultists are. she is an eldritch other stranded in a terrifying and nauseating world, and she gains her power by grasping at the scraps she imagines/remembers of that alien home that never existed

as an aside: i literally cannot state how fucking good dia is at playing this weird little woman also. it's like the class was made for her. she loves leaning into the weird and bringing horrifying things upon nelinha and it's soooo much fun. the shenanigans are endless.

#ocean-in-my-rebel-soul #replies #pc: nelinha #campaign: swamp pirates

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: There Are No Saints by Sophie Lark

3.5/5. Rereleases 10/3/2023.

Vibes: serial killers, cat and mouse, enjoythesilence.mp3, the glorious pretentiousness of the contemporary art world.

Cole Blackwell and Alastor Shaw are rivals in the high-end art scene. They are also rival serial killers. When Mara Eldritch falls into their mutual line of sight, she's attacked by Shaw--and unexpectedly mentored by Cole.

This book... befuddled and bemused me. I'm not sure how I feel about everything. Like, it's camp, and I do love camp, but--there are a couple of specific areas that crossed a certain line for me. Not the murdering, I don't super care about the morality issues in this novel (though I should acknowledge that there are valid arguments made against serial killer romance novels, and while I'm not sure I agree with them 100%, points have been raised). But the dips into the silly.

Quick Takes:

--In terms of writing quality, for much of this book I found it stronger than Brutal Prince. Brutal Prince was a book in which the 21st century mobsters talked like they were closer to West Side Story. In this one, everyone seems... suitably over the top for the subject matter, but not, for the most part, a caricature. I mean, Cole got pretty close at times, but this is a man who butchered an art critic who dogged him, filed his bones down, dipped them in gold, and used them for a sculpture.

I would also add that, as someone not-unfamiliar with the contemporary art scene, I think setting this book in the art world helped its tone immensely. Because honestly? If anyone is going to believably be ridiculously pretentious and incredibly serious about the most ludicrous shit, it's an artist. Shaw and Cole's rivalry gives HARD "Dynasty" vibes, the champagne is SUPER burnt, and it works because these are men who make art that honestly sounds not great and sell it to other men with bad taste for $750K a pop. I believe it.

--One thing that similarly sells the tone of this book is fact that Mara is completely fucking insane. The name "Mara Eldritch" really clues you into this from the jump, and I do love it. And please understand, when I say she's insane, that's a compliment. I really expected a girl who'd be kind of horrified by her serial killer stalker, but Mara's like "I wanna fuck it", with the kind of enthusiasm with which a horny teenage boy approaches any vaguely cylindrical object. Mara's inability to demonstrate basic survival skills beyond worrying about money (and still renting a studio space for $200 a month, which contextually was a steal but if Mara shouldn't spend $12 on dinner, should she really be adding $200 to the monthly bill...?) was kind of charming to me.

Like, by all means this girl should be dead. But for one, like a cockroach, she refuses. For two, I got the impression that Cole was just so fucking confused by how not correctly she handled everything that he just couldn't really kill her. And I'll admit, "local pretentious serial killer is so gobsmacked by woman repeatedly running headfirst into wall that he must have her" is a fun dynamic.

--Like I said, Alastor and Cole are basically Alexis and Dominique, and I support that. I honestly could've used more of Shaw dipping into Cole's path and both of them agreeing that virgins are hella boring.

--Now... where this crossed from camp into ludicrousness for me, to a point where I had to go "okay, some restraint could've been and needed to be shown"... was with tattooing. I know this sounds ridiculous, seeing as these are Art Murderers. But there is a scene in which two people who are very much not experienced with tattooing execute ELABORATE freehand tattoos on each other (and I know they were elaborate, because the book has illustrations--more on that in a minute) and I just. Couldn't. You know, it may be because it's so minor compared to the overall camp of the main plot. It didn't need to happen. I bought into the bone sculpture, but the flawless freehand tattoos done by people who aren't tattoo artists just couldn't pass for me.

I'm not like, mad, but it was so distracting. Freehand tattoos aren't something experienced artists do lightly. It's so easy to fuck up a tattoo. So, seeing as these two characters are nutjobs, I just kind of pictured them walking through the world with the most ridiculous tattoos for the rest of the book, and I couldn't deal.

--As with Brutal Prince, this book is illustrated. I'd say they look a bit better in this copy than the Brutal Prince illustrations did. I'm not mad, I'm good with an illustration.

I'm not as big a fan of the playlist accompanying the novel (complete with a QR code), along with the songs and artists peppered throughout the text. Sophie Lark explains in the note that she's very into music when writing. Respect that. However, I feel that not only supplying a soundtrack for your book but telling readers when to appreciate the songs is... distracting, for one thing. But for another, it takes the reader out of the story and tells them how to feel and when. Your writing should do that. Overall, I think Sophie's writing is capable of doing that. I don't like this method of telling me what to think of a scene or moment.

--On to the content warnings. Yes, Cole and Shaw (Alastor) are serial killers. No, Cole is not a vigilante killer. He just goes "I wanna" and kills people. There is graphic murder on the page. Shaw targets women. Cole does not seem against killing women, but does not have a taste for it as of yet. Mara is attacked by Alastor earlier in the novel; aside from general violence, I would call what happens to her most definitely a sexual assault. She and Cole later have sex in the novel, and during the encounter she tells him "no wait stop" before he moves on to a new experience, and he does not stop. This is not discussed after. The tone of the book is generally dark, though I personally found it more "Evanescence" than "Dexter".

The Sex:

It was fine. It actually take a lot of time for Cole and Mara to start hooking up--and I found multiple scenes in which she teases him and he watches hotter, to be honest, than their sex scene.

It's not because there wasn't interesting stuff going on there. It's because there is an intensely ridiculous anal sex scene. I don't expect anal to be portrayed with perfect accuracy in romance novels. You only have so much time. But this scene was just... beyond. Again, I couldn't deal.

So--if you're curious and not bothered by the subject matter, I'd say give it a shot... provided you have a high tolerance for silliness. Which I do! I didn't have a bad time with this one, I just...... again, was confused. It does end on a bit of a cliffhanger and is part of a duology, so keep that in mind. I'm on to the next book, because I do in fact need to know what happens, so that's a win for Sophie.

Thanks to Bloom Books and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

#romance novel blogging #arc reviews #netgalley #books #book reviews

[the-flower32]

If i want to write a story with no real message & just a bunch of characters doing wacky (or incredibly tragic, depends on my mood) things that i think are fun to write,

Im gonna write it.

I believe the idea that “all stories must have an intended moral/lesson/message” kills a lot of creativity.

Wanna write a story about someone fighting dragons? Do it.

Wanna write about a marine biology team facing the horrific through about what is in the deep sea? Do it.

Wanna write about a teenager slowly discovering the long dormant eldritch superpowers they posses from a distant ancestor & the hijinks that ensue? DO IT.

A moral or lesson is not necessary for a story to exist, planning out at least a rough beginning & end so you at least know where you’re going is only semi necessary for a story to exist, the want to make a story is the only thing truly necessary for a story to exist.

If I come up with a story that i think is cool & would be fun to write/make, im gonna do it! Oh, I dont have any moral or message that im trying to tell the world? Ok. I dont want to send a message to the world I wanna make a fun story (or a horrifying one). Sure, i may unintentionally create a story that emphasizes the belief that found family is just as important (if not more so) as blood family. If so- cool. was it intended? Not really.

From this point on i refuse to let my inner perfectionist squash any cool and/or fun stories that I come up with.

Writing should be fun, if not- then what’s the point.

#Writing #my writing #creativity #stoires #writting stuff #writing advice #writeblr #personal opinion #i hope whoever needs to hear this sees it

[unsleepingtales]

Ravening! War! Reactions!

Aw yea baby we’re doing these again!

Aabria’s character. Shapeshifter? Or caster class who shifts a lot kind of like Fig?

Brennan is just in his element huh. Just playing a weird old guy.

Brennan and Aabria <3 they are FRIENDS

Oh Karna has secrets. I love her.

I am having thoughts about how when Brennan was starting acoc they tossed around the idea of having an in-party traitor but decided not to. Hmm. Would be interesting if that. Happened.

He’s gonna take a lil nap!

Delissandro was meant to be the hot guy of the season and I feel so bad that Colin Provolone is coming for him with a steel chair.

COLIN HERE HE COMES

#1 soaking wet (but not really he’s got a coat) grimy boy

You know what I take back my earlier statement. Delissandro and Colin fill very different niches. They don’t deserve to be pit against one another.

We’ll workshop it!

There’s a reason the first episode of a season is usually my favorite. Getting to learn about the characters that I get to spend the next couple months with and the relationships between them! So fun and cool!

AAA THE DOME

I really enjoy Matt’s narration style, his voice is kinda soothing

Karna casting Eldritch Blast?????? Right off the bat in public?????? Holy shit. Ok. Karna warlock confirmed (I think?? Lmk if other classes can cast it but last I checked only warlocks could cast Eldritch Blast.)

You know what you’re right. Something about the city does just make you wanna open up a coffee shop.

Brennan has so much fun playing religious characters. It’s great.

My man’s got visions?? Sick.

Cream filled blueberries? Cannot tell if that’s a great idea or not.

It makes you want to make licentious noises 😃

HEY EVERYBODY.

The bishop and colin I need more of this duo

Colin Provolone my love and my light

Ohohohoho we got the Bishop’s stats

Look at him taking one level of rogue <3 also Brennan playing a college of eloquence bard just feels right.

Ah the overwhelming horniness of fructera

Hey! House Rocks! Nice!

Matt why

Ooh family lore!

You look… conscious. [<- me talking to all of my friends during finals week]

Colin!

Just colin and the chieftess eating charcuterie in the corner, talking shit. Love that for them.

Epic highs and lows of Aabria rolls

“There is no light more welcome than that which first pierces the darkness” SHUT UP I loved him already ok

Come on, Provolone!

WHAT

WHAT

I love how much multiclassing we’ve got this season!

Colin Provolone 6 charisma my fucking beloved

Brennan and Lou’s little dance

So many rogues damn

He’s so little and he’s so weak 😔

So small

God what they’re doing with the dome is so cool

They’re so cool

All of them are so neat

Vinegar cream puff blueberries? Horrifying

Karna & Deli friendship?? Please???

Months passing???? Okay. Sure!

YEARS passing???

Looking forward to the next episode!

#verbal component #ravening war #colin #karna #deli #The Bishop #aabria #woe queue be upon ye #reac #reactions

[actionsurges]

Sorry I meant 144 average! Not as sexy, but still pretty sexy!

I play a lv 3 swashbuckler rogue, lv 15 great old one warlock; things that go into this are thirsting blade, metamagic adept, agonising blast, eldritch smite and spirit shroud. This scenario assumes I have cast spirit shroud in a previous round (which I do almost every fight) and that everything hits (I have a +11 and +15 on melee and spell attacks so not that farfetched).

I make two attacks with my rapier as an action, use Eldritch smite on one of them, then take a step back (not provoking an attack of opportunity thanks to Fancy Footwork) to cast Eldritch Blast from 10 feet away, using Quickened Spell to make it a bonus action.

Breaking this down: each of the two melee attacks deals 1d8+5, and each of the four EB rays deals 1d10 + 5, so that’s 2d8 + 4d10 + 30. Eldritch Smite uses a 5th level spell slot so it deals 5d8. 2d6 for sneak attack (which I nearly always get as a swashbuckler). Now here’s where it gets interesting! At 5th level, Spirit Shroud deals an extra 2d8 per hit within a distance of 10 feet. For a total of 6 hits, that adds 12d8.

So on total we have 2d6 + 19d8 + 4d10 + 30 = 144,5 on average.

I'm a dice addict but at this point even I cannot escape the rollbot :P

lmao this is an awesome set up! seeing that ur an 18th level pc the damage makes a lot more sense ! i am less horrified but i mean it's clear you've got excellent strategy for your build and the way you wanna play. i'm glad you're having fun!

#one off big damage turns are great but i am also fascinated with sustainable damage output builds

[ghoulinfuschia]

YAY now that my comic is finished and posted, I can finally talk about these two weirdos. I got a crap ton of asks about the Core’s role in this AU, so thank you for your patience HAHA

Okay, so what’s going on with these two? Ultimately we have a situation where the Core was not removed from Marcy’s mind, so now they’re headmates. I don’t want to say it’s a split personality situation, because it’s more like Marcy was possessed and the Core is kind of a prisoner in her mind now that Marcy’s regained control of herself.

The Core is incredibly…noisy (“Noisy” might be an understatement seeing as the commotion in her head looks like literal hell). The Core is, to my understanding, an ancient eldritch being compiled of the minds of numerous amphibians. With that in mind, i wanted to make it so there are many voices in Marcy’s head conversing, with The Core’s voice being the dominating one. It isn’t always super deafening. Sometimes the voices sound like a crowd’s soft murmuring, the volume really depends on how much the Core is demanding Marcy’s attention in that moment. It’ll also try to disorient her as much as possible, but Marcy’s grown a tolerance for the noise. Ultimately the Core’s goal is to regain control.

One thing I really didn’t want is for Marcy to be at the complete mercy of the Core. I didn’t want it to be where it’s bossing her around all day and making her miserable. I mean..okay she’s a little miserable, sure, but she’s not being controlled by fear. The Core is frightening, but she’s been stuck with this thing for so long that fright’s been watered down to pure irritation. She’s pretty jaded.

She’s just.

She’s over it.

At this point she’s just throwing snark at this thing and wanting it gone. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t see it as a threat though. See here’s the thing- Just because Marcy is pretty good about staying in control, doesn’t mean there haven’t been slip ups. If Marcy’s at an emotional low, the Core can more easily try to fight for control. There’s this constant battle going on where The Core is trying to break Marcy’s will so she’ll let it drive. There are moments where the Core is able to gain control for a few seconds, but Marcy immediately shuts that down. The only time where she’s super vulnerable is during the night.

She’s a sleepwalker— Or at least that’s how it looks to anyone who finds her waking up someplace outside her bedroom in the morning. The Core is able to roam around at night since Marcy’s not awake to stop its antics. She has to be in a super deep sleep though. Marcy’s aware that The Core does this, and has to try taking precautions before going to sleep (they rarely ever work though). For this reason, Marcy is pretty wary about the idea of sleepovers with Anne and Sasha. She’ll only attend if she knows there won’t be any actual sleeping. If they stay awake all night, then she’ll be fine most likely.

One last thing I wanna talk about is the Core’s design. The Core has no definite form. It can manifest itself in Marcy’s eyes however it pleases, but it chooses these two forms usually. One is more terrifying, while the other is emotionally damaging. The Core’s first form is basically an amalgamation of Marcy’s past self from her time in Amphibia, so it’s a mix of her warrior type fit and her Core armor. The form isn’t scary at all, but it serves as a reminder of Marcy’s mistakes. Her betrayal, the lying, the way she got her friends sent to another dimension against their will and caused them so much trauma- It’s arguably worse than any horrifying image the Core can create. Marcy’s grown numb to the scary crap, but this form feeds into her self loathing and guilt issue (which she has to actively combat everyday). I wanted to make a point to not have the Core age with her for the sake of drilling in the idea saying “This will never change. This is still you”.

The second form is just for the sake of being able to tower over Marcy and be more intimidating, plus I wanted to incorporate the Core’s robo arms in some fashion.

And YEAH that’s pretty much all I got…I love these two sm. It’s the “I’m sick of this and I’m sick of your crap specifically” dynamic. Also while drawing this comic, some friends and I were making fun of the Core for looking like an edgelord homestuck OC, so here’s this silly doodle

#Long post #PO3 AU #Power Of Three Amphibia AU #Marcy Wu #Honeybee rambles

[the-stick-seller]

The idea of eldritch beings being explained to us as as humans and ants posts are so good I wanna make one myself

You’re a human who lives next to an anthill. They’re pretty cool, usually leave you “gifts” in exchange for sweets. Nothing huge, a feather, a flower, a piece of cardboard that used came off a fast food container, things like that. You usually leave them a sugar cube in exchange, not like you drink tea anyway.

Today, the ants leave you a hamburger on your offering plate. How did they get it? Hell, you can’t speak ant! But it’s still warm and doesn’t look like it came out of the trash or anything, so you dig in and leave a huge pile of sugar in exchange. You can hardly imagine their little faces freaking out over the mountain of sugar nearly as high as their own anthill.

The next day it’s back to normal “sacrifices”, one sugar cube as usual. There’s more ants looking at you today and more of them hang around looking at you than usual, even after the cube is broken down and funneled back into their home. Weird.

You are greeted with a horrifying display when morning comes. A pile of dead or near dead ants are being dragged onto your plate by ants with odd coloring on their backs. Curiously you pick one up and examine it, revealing a human-like face on which appears to be painted on with blood. You throw it down in disgust and bring out your garden hose to blast away all the gross ants who killed their own kind! Something like this is sickening and it’s a full year before you have the courage to look out into your backyard again.

Eventually you do look around, sometime near spring. You arrive to see your plate half buried in the mud where you left it, but rotting leaves, flowers, and dried feathers litter it’s surface. A single ant drags over a berry, no fanfare or onlookers. Just a single ant.

Much to it’s surprise you reach down and take up the berry and plate both. After a small snack and some dish washing, you return to the ant and deposit both the cleaned plate and a single sugar cube. It scurries off before you finish setting up so you just head back indoors, unsure of what tomorrow will bring.

#eldrich beings #humans are weird #short story