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#we are stronger together than we are apart
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"the heart is a repository of vanished things:" throughout this episode the sunjae of each timeline called out from within the current sunjae's soul — begging to be heard.
the scene with sol's grandma was so beautifully melancholic: you can lose memories, but their essence stays with you forever. your recollection may become fragmentary; but each piece of the person most important to you will find its way back to you somehow.
when you love someone, it's for life. your souls are knitted together, stronger than flesh.
even when sunjae doesn't fully recognize sol; his body remembers. knows to wipe her tears, to hold her hand while she's sick. to give her a warmer blanket. to prepare food for her, remind her to cool it before eating.
all of his acts of service are for her: and all sol's acts of sacrifice are for him. "i love someone very much," she tells him. "that's why i can't be with you."
it's the truth — sol has torn time apart out of love for him. and sunjae has stitched it back together, for her.
the soul is eternal — it holds love close; and refuses to let go. the scene where sunjae and sol sing 'sonaki' together at the same time reduced me to tears. you can practically see their spirits reach out to each other and link hands — disavowing any kind of distance. once a boy's song of unrequited love, now a girl's talisman of lasting devotion. finally, it belongs to them both.
some cords just cannot be cut, no matter what you do. some loves transcend a lifetime.
and when sunjae finally remembers her!! three timelines worth of memories flooding in: the abject terror and relief in his gaze as his one sacred love returns to him at last. and the fact that it happened while it was snowing — like the weather was a guide leading him back into the light of sol's memory: just exquisite writing.
despite bearing the full weight of how every timeline ends, sunjae chooses to run to sol anyway. he chooses her. he will always, always choose her.
it's his fate to fall in love with sol, even knowing every consequence. it's her fate to try and save him, knowing how everything ends.
i am filled with so much love and awe for this show. i can't believe we only have one day left. no matter what, i'll never let lovely runner go.
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mustainegf · 3 days
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Kirk Hammett with a breeding kink. And when he succeeds in getting his lady pregnant, he gets extra horny and needs to fuck her all the time about it, especially as her belly gets bigger and bigger with his baby.
Kirk totally has a breeding kink, u cant change my mind
So sorry if it’s kinda short !! :(
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Kirk and I had always shared a deep, passionate connection, but that night took it to another level.
We were in his apartment, the room dimly lit by the soft glow of a bedside lamp. The air was thick with lust, and every touch, every kiss, sent electric shivers down my spine.
“I can’t wait to fill you up,” Kirk murmured against my ear, his voice husky and filled with desire. I felt a rush of heat flood my body at his words.
Kirk had always been vocal about his breeding kink, but hearing him say it in such a raw, intimate moment was different. It stirred something deep within me.
His hands roamed over my body, his touch both tender and possessive. As he kissed me deeply, I could feel the intensity of his need. “You’re going to take all of me, every last drop,” he whispered, his lips brushing against my neck.
The words sent a wave of arousal through me, and I clung to him, needing him as much as he needed me.
Kirk’s eyes burned with a primal desire, and I found myself melting under his gaze.
When he finally entered me, it felt like the world stopped. Each thrust was harsh, filled with purpose, as he whispered filthy promises about filling me with his cum.
“I’m going to breed you, fill you up so good,” he groaned, his hands gripping my hips tightly. The raw passion in his voice sent me over the edge, and I lost myself in the overwhelming pleasure.
After we finished, we lay there, a tangle of sweaty, satisfied limbs.
Kirk kissed my forehead tenderly, and I couldn’t help but smile, feeling more connected to him than ever.
A month later, I stood in the bathroom, staring at the positive pregnancy test in my hand. My heart raced with a mix of excitement and nervousness.
I knew how much Kirk wanted this, and part of me had secretly hoped for it too.
“Kirk,” I called out, my voice trembling slightly. He appeared in the doorway, concern flashing across his face until he saw the test in my hand.
“Is that…?” he trailed off, his eyes widening in realization.
“I’m pregnant,” I confirmed, my voice barely a whisper. A wide grin spread across his face, and he pulled me into a tight embrace.
“We’re having a baby,” he murmured against my hair, his voice filled with wonder and joy. “I’m so happy, holy shit...”
As my pregnancy progressed, I noticed a change in Kirk. He was more attentive, more loving, but there was also a new intensity in his desire. He couldn’t seem to get enough of my growing body.
One evening, as I stood in front of the mirror, admiring the slight swell of my belly, Kirk came up behind me. His hands slid over my growing curves, his touch sending a shiver down my spine.
“You look so beautiful,” he said, his voice thick with arousal. “Seeing you pregnant with our child turns me on so much.”
I blushed, feeling a surge of desire at his words. Kirk’s hands roamed over my belly, then higher to my swollen breasts. “I can’t help it,” he admitted, his breath hot against my ear. “I just want you so bad.”
Before I could respond, he turned me around, his lips capturing mine in a deep, hungry kiss. He guided me to the bed, his touch gentle yet insistent.
As he made love to me, his hands caressed my growing belly, and he whispered how much he loved seeing me like this, how much he wanted to fill me up again and again.
Each time we were together, his desire for my pregnant body seemed to grow stronger. He loved the way my belly swelled, the way my breasts grew fuller, it’s like he couldn’t get enough of me. His hands were always on me, his lips worshiping every new curve.
One night, as we lay in bed after yet another intense session of lovemaking, Kirk rested his hand on my belly, feeling the slight movements of our baby. “I can’t believe we made this,” he said, his voice filled with awe. “You’re so beautiful, carrying our child.”
His words made my heart swell with love and desire. “I love you,” I whispered, my hand covering his.
“I love you too,” he replied, leaning down to kiss me softly. “And I love our baby.”
And as I felt our baby move inside me, I knew that we were building something beautiful together, a family built on love, passion, and unbreakable bonds.
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a-polite-melody · 1 year
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Separatism is never the answer. All it does is make all of us more vulnerable, and create spaces full of isolated people who are much more easily manipulated and abused by bad-faith actors.
Queer unity is important for all of us.
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aq2003 · 11 days
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i saw a post saying boom was good bc it feels like it could be done with any doctor/companion duo and honestly that was one of the things i felt was wrong with it
#in a show with a title character that could be Literally Anyone and a companion sharing the lead that could be Literally Anyone#i value the little moments that set this duo apart from the rest. ESPECIALLY when it comes to returning writers like rtd/moff#fifteen and ruby felt a little too eleven/twelve and clara adjacent in boom. in both their dialogue and characterization#space babies also landed a little weird at first bc it lifted a bit from end of the world BUT the scenes that fifteen and ruby#had to themselves. like ruby getting covered in snot and fifteen laughing. or fifteen and ruby looking after the Space Babies#or fifteen going out of his way to save the monster bc that monster is the only one of its kind Just Like Him Fr#that stuff is so good and its also something we haven't seen from another nuwho doctor. the vulnerable bleeding-heart empathy#and a dynamic w a companion that is basically 'two troublemakers that just deeply love fun and adventure and getting into trouble together'#oh yeah and also the devil's chord was peak fiction because it touches on fifteen's renewed connection and love for humanity#and marries it to ruby being a musician and how music like any art is the expression of the human soul etc etc#WHAT MAKES A DOCTOR WHO STORY GOOD TO ME IS PARTLY HOW THE PREMISE TIES INTO THE DOCTOR AND COMPANION'S CHARACTERS#IT HAS TO FEEL LIKE IT WAS TAILOR MADE TO THEM. ELSE IT WONT LAND RIGHT TO ME#i hate the take that they should've saved wild blue yonder for a fifteen episode bc#the tension is hinged on how well the doctor/companion know each other. u have a level of it that u can ONLY get#with fourteen and donna who are two halves of a whole soul but have also spent much more time missing the other than knowing them#im not rewatching fifteen's eps rn until a week later when i can watch it w my qpp but#rn i still feel a stronger sense of fifteen and ruby's characters from all the rtd-written eps rather moffat#which like. i get that a lot of that is my personal dislike of moffat's writing style but still#dr who#15 era#dw spoilers
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sunmoontruth-stiles · 2 months
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I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.
#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her#and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura#he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life#deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was#he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means.#when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial.#the best he can do at least#he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times.#often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship#but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost.#22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way#Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless#he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it#she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes.#he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone#he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home.#can’t bare to see another shell of a home#he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes#Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon#but promises feel costly these days#he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura#someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here#his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long.#Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place.#clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them#but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here#he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention#he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves.#he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods#he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.
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screamingdollxd · 24 days
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Seeing Christians (not all of them, but the majority of them, especially here in the West) being islamophobic and fighting AGAINST Palestinians is so weird like do they not realize that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism is all under Abrahamic religion? Like yeah dude there’s some differences but we’re all siblings under God/Allah/Yahweh at the end of the day and if you’re a follower of any of those religions, imagine how devastated your God must feel, seeing His creations, his followers he cares so deeply for, all of them advocating against each other in a time where we should all be closer together than ever? Idk man, seems a lil weird to me. Regardless of our religions though, we should see the suffering the Palestinians are undergoing and at the very least have sympathy and advocate however we can for immediate change to save them???
And honestly if you’re just gonna fight in the comments or reblogs just scroll, this obviously won’t convince you otherwise and you can just bring your negativity somewhere else
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fowlblue · 1 year
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Happy first day of Pride Month, everyone!
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infizero · 9 months
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light and misa's "relationship" is rlly tragic and fucked but also in an isolated state its really fucking funny. ESPECIALLY if you consider them both to be arospec like i do
#misa is like ''oh light my wonderful boyfriend~!! we need to go on a date we haven't been on one in so long!''#(i know that when you're dating you're supposed to go on dates. so we have to go on a date every so often to assure me that i'm getting a#good grade in Having a Boyfriend something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve)#and then light is like (internally) 'i would literally rather kill myself than spend time with her but i need her for my purposes so i have#to appease her' (externally) ''ok sure i guess misa''#and then they go to a restaurant and misa waits for him to kiss her the whole night (she does not attempt to herself)#meanwhile light just sits there and goes nonverbal for long extended periods of time while he monologues in his head about how to appear#like a normal (straight) human being (spoiler: he's really bad at this)#and every so often he'll be like ''you look nice. this food is good. other boring pleasantries'' while glaring as if he's poisoned her food#THEY LIVED LIKE THIS FOR 4 YEARS.#again. awful. but also kind of fucking funny. gay aroace guy and aroace girl going through the motions of a heterosexual relationship for 4#whole years. they hate each other for sure dawg ToT obvs misa to a lesser extent but i think she definitely had a lot subconscious hate for#light. that only got stronger the longer things went on#also during this time they definitely had sex a Single Time because they got to a point where misa was like we've been dating for like#2 years normal couples usually sleep together way before then...... and light was like. LOUD SIGH. ok#it was terrible. neither of them enjoyed it and they never spoke of it again#gee wonder why that was (holding the ace spectrum behind my back)#anyways they're so awful im obsessed w them. awful apart and even WORSE together. it's beautiful#then you throw L in this mix and it gets even funnier and MORE awful#(he's bi aroace to me btw. for the record)#serena.txt#death note posting
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https://www.xinjiangpolicefiles.org/
This is some seriously heavy shit,but is also direct evidence, from the ccp, of the genocide happening in Xinjiang. These documents may be triggering for a lot of people. So be warned now
TW: Cultural erasure, guns, prison, blood, genocide.
Thank you to all the brave hackers that got these files out of China. This shit is maybe the most important thing I'll ever reblog. It's been verified by news outlets throughout the world.
But I want to remind everyone, this is not the actions of Chinese people outside of China. This is the actions of what now essentially amounts to an ethnostate attempt.
We need to stand together as a human species against this barbarism from almost a century ago. If Russia wants to stand against nazis, they'd be better off invading China. Their actions are the same, if not debatably worse, than those taken by the nazis. This is slavery and genocide of an entire culture. The one thing that makes humanity strong is our ability to work together despite cultural differences.
I'm just now learning about these files and I have to say, I almost puked. I'm still nauseous to think of what has been forced on the Uyghur people, let alone seeing it.
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t4transsexual · 11 months
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trans people who are anti t4t make me so sad. because beyond just not knowing what being t4t means, the fact that they believe that t4t is just being a chaser is indicative of a deeper issue, being that cis people have ingrained the idea that we are unfuckable and unloveable, disgusting by nature, and that anybody who would voice attraction to us, a step further, ONLY CHOOSE TO DATE TRANS PEOPLE, would be a pervert with a disgusting fetish who wont see them as equal.
thats not what t4t is.
t4t is the rejection of the idea that we are inherently disgusting, just because we are in the eyes of a cisnormative society.
t4t is the understanding that we are safer and stronger together as a community than apart.
t4t is seeing your trans boyfriend try on clothes from your old boy wardrobe that you hated growing up but now your least favorite shirt is your favorite because its the perfect shade of red that brings out his eyes.
t4t is teaching your trans girlfriend that has been scared to do her own makeup how youve learned from other trans women, who learned from other trans women, who learned from other trans women.
t4t is doing your testosterone shots together and kissing each others sticks after you put the bandaid on.
t4t is holding the door for your trans girlfriend and showing her the chivalry she didn't get from her dad growing up, but its ok because you can show her now.
t4t is being on the phone with your partner who just came out as trans/nonbinary after seeing you, YOU, live your truth, and them asking you to help them find a new name, the perfect name for them, and you hope theyll carry that part of you forever.
you are trans and that is beautiful. your transness is beautiful. trans love is beautiful. dont let ANYBODY make you feel unworthy of sex or love. THATS what being t4t means.
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tojikai · 4 months
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Sundered 9: RESOLVE
Pairing: Gojo x reader
• Part 1  |  Part 2   | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Alt. Ending
Genre: Angst
tags/cw: angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments, mentions of abortion
word count: 7.8k
a/n: sorry, it took so long. i had problems lol mb
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You can’t remember at what point everything started going right but you’re not complaining.
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 “I don’t think I can continue like this. I don’t think we should continue like this.” 
“Like what?” You looked up at him, a look of worry filling your wide eyes. He stared down at you with an expression you can’t read. You felt his hands trail beside you, before cupping your cheeks, kissing your lips softly. “Toji, was I not-” And he was quick to quell you
“No, Y/N. It’s not on you, stop putting everything on yourself, baby.” He hates that the first thing you think when something fails is your fault. He hates that he’s making you feel like you’re the only one who needs to put in the work. 
After your arguments, Toji’s been thinking that his emphasis on how you’re being pointlessly jealous of a dead person is why you think you’re the only one who has to make big adjustments. That’s probably why you think you have to put in the most effort to make this work.
“Then, what is it? I thought we were doing well, Toji.” The worried look on your face mixed with frustration as you took a step back from him, rubbing your face with your hands. “We are doing well, Y/N.” He was firm with his answer, and you know he’s telling the truth. But why? “We work so well together. But this isn’t the relationship we deserve.” He sighed.
“That doesn’t make sense, Toji.” You pursed your lips, emotions getting stronger. “If we work so well together, then how can you say that this isn’t what we deserve?” You sat on the bed, patiently waiting for an answer.
“We deserve to be in a relationship where we don’t have to remind ourselves how we should be constantly.” Toji mentally cursed himself for putting you in such a situation early in the morning but he doesn’t think he could sleep another peaceful night with everything in his mind. 
“Relationships are things that flow naturally, Y/N. You do not do things just because you have to, or just because somebody told you to do it. You shouldn’t feel like you have to remind yourself what to do.” He breathed heavily, sounding as if he’d been practicing this in his head for a while now. “Is that how you feel with me?” You tried him, only to get the question back.
“Is that not how you feel with me?” Your silence answered his question. There was a pool of hot liquid in your eyes that you wouldn’t allow to fall. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Think of the strain that you’ve been putting on yourself, Y/N. Tell me you had not once thought of letting it all go even just for a second.”
A sob erupted from your throat; one that you didn’t see coming. It’s a thought you always choose to ignore because you really want to try hard for him, for this thing to work. Now, you understand when they say that sometimes it’s more painful to hold on than to let go.
As if getting burnt by holding on to a rope too tightly, hoping that the other end would stop pulling away.
But right now, Toji’s slowly being torn away from you. And you can’t do anything about this unbearable pain that feels like it could tear you apart; limb for limb. You realize that even if he doesn’t pull away, you’d still end up being hurt for this rope that you are holding on to is too far out of your reach. 
“Toji… I don’t know, I thought I found something good with you. And now it just felt like I’m losing all of it like I’m losing—” Toji quickly shushed you, hugging you ever so tightly to him and it scared you. It almost felt like he was letting you memorize the comfort of his body against yours because this was the last time you’d be feeling it.
“You’re not losing me, love.” He consoled you and though, you can’t express it, the words brought you comfort. “I just don’t think we’re meant to be in this setup but that doesn’t mean you’re losing me.” And just like that, the pain was back again.
“Do I not deserve it?” You asked him, almost flinching at your words when you promised yourself you’d never ask anyone that. Toji sighed, taking both of your hands and bringing them to his lips. “Not this. You deserve more than this. You deserve to be genuinely happy without sacrificing anything, without feeling spent.”
You can’t remember, or more like you chose not to carve into your memory how that day ended. The only image you can see in your head is how he cuddled you to sleep, woke you up to eat with him and the kids, and went home. You remember him saying that they could always visit. And you hated yourself for doubting him.
“Mama, look it.” You heard your baby talking to you as she showed you the screen of your phone. It was Toji. It surprised you that you weren’t crying, or hurting as much as you thought you would. Maybe it’s because of the reassurance that you received from him. 
And it’s not something like hoping that you’d be back together again but it’s more of a security that you didn’t just lose such a good man in your life; even as a friend. “Yeah?” You answered, pulling your toddler closer to you just as she started to move near the edge of the bed. “Just wanna know how you're doing.” 
You chuckled, finding it funny that your now ex is calling you, indirectly checking if you’re still crying. It’s normal for him to expect that kind of thing but the difference between this and other breakups is that you actually ended on good terms and with valid reasons, seeking only the best for each other.
“I am a bit ok, surprisingly.” You answered, you heard a sigh from the other end of the line and a tiny laugh from Megumi, probably watching something on his iPad. You looked at your daughter, thinking if she’ll start looking for her little friend tomorrow and how you’re going to handle that. 
“I’m sorry.” You rubbed your eyes, humming at his words. “This is for the best, I guess.” You spoke, remembering how you used to tell that to yourself when you found out that Satoru got himself a new girlfriend; throwing all his promises out the window and choosing to move forward away from you. 
“You know Yui can still come over for play dates, right?” He spoke as if reading your mind. Toji knows of your concern about this matter as you expressed it earlier to him. Yui has spent a lot of time with Megumi and you know how she is with him because he’s her real first close friend.
“I won’t mind if she’ll be dropped off by Satoruf, he could even accompany her with you guys. I won’t mind, really. I know Megumi will ask for Yui.” He laughed lightly, patiently waiting for your answer, only to receive a hum.
“Y/N, you’re free to make decisions now—” You know that he’s talking about your reconciliation with Satoru but to be very honest, that’s not in your mind right now. You might be yearning for that whole family, and you can see Satoru’s progress but that doesn’t mean you can just bounce back like that. 
“I don’t know, that’s not how I really feel, I think  I should focus on building myself as an independent person for now.” You pursed your lips and you could just imagine him nodding his head to your words. “It’ll happen if it’s meant to happen.” You know that Yui needs her father, and you know that if she could talk to you right now, she’d probably wish for the two of you to be together with her.
But you want to know if this thing you’re feeling for Satoru is real or if it’s only because you longed to give your daughter that fulfillment. It’s not a bad thing to want that for her but you don’t know if you can handle another heartbreak for rushing things. “I’ll just let things be for now.” You added, sighing deeply.  
The conversation with Toji went on for a couple of minutes before you said your goodbyes. You know it won’t be like this every night and that makes your chest squeeze but it’d only feel like forcing things if you asked him for that. You’ll move forward. Like you always do. Your child is growing and maybe it’s about time she learns something valuable from you.
—---------------------------------------
“Da!” The little girl squealed as her father entered your apartment. She got up and ran to him, almost tripping on one of her toys. “Careful. I’m not going away.” He picked her up, kissing her cheek. You closed the door behind you, rushing to kick away the things on the floor. It’s still a bit messy because you’re trying to get her ready for the day before you head to work.
“You’re early.” You spoke to him, watching them sit on the couch. “I’m…uh, cooking something. Have you had breakfast?” You bite your top lip as you turn away from them. “I had coffee.” Yui was trying to put a clip on his hair, laughing when she thought she got it done. “Come, eat with us, then.” You picked your daughter up, heading to the kitchen.
“Mama! ‘Gumi?” You put her in her chair, sighing lightly at the mention of her playmate. It has been almost three weeks and you still haven’t told Satoru about what happened with Toji and you. He’s not asking either, but you can tell he’s curious, eyeing you as he enters the small kitchen.
“He’s at daycare. Maybe next week, when Mama’s not busy, alright?” You spoke, placing the food in front of her, and pressing on the plate to make sure that it was stuck on the surface. “Haven’t seen them around.” Satoru cleared his throat, playing it cool as he didn’t want to seem like he was intruding into your “love life.”
“They, uh, they won’t be around so much anymore.” You put the plates on the table, tucking a hair behind your ear as you turned. Satoru pursed his lips, not wanting to pry any longer but the next sentence made his eyebrows raise. “We kinda…Toji and I broke up. So, if not for the kids, we won’t-“ 
“Since when?” If it was before Satoru would probably be thinking about how this is a chance for him but right now, as he sat on that kitchen table, all he could feel was worry. He thinks that you really love Toji and he became your rock during the times when your baby daddy’s acting up.
“Almost three weeks ago. It’s, uh, nothing too heavy. The relationship just became too much.” Satoru doesn’t know if it’s right for him to say “sorry.” He’s scared that it might break you and he doesn’t want to see you cry again. 
He made you cry many times and he hated himself for it. He can’t help but feel like any anger he might harbor towards Toji would be… invalid.  “I didn't think dating when you both already have kids would be so different than when you don’t.” You chuckled half-heartedly. 
“We just don’t think it could stand in the long run, so…” You shrugged, finally sitting down after you placed the glass pitcher on the table. You peeked at Satoru, attempting to read the expression on his face. 
“Look, I know Yui’s always been our priority but if you need a bit of time for yourself, you know you can leave Yui with me.” He cracked his knuckles, not sure of how to help you with this. “You should take a break from work, if you think that’s what you need, I will-“ You placed a hand on his arm, stopping him.
There’s not much he can offer that wouldn’t make it look like he’s trying to take advantage of the situation. That’s the last thing he wants you to think. He thought you were a bit gloomy during the past couple of weeks and assumed it was just a lover’s quarrel or something.
“Thanks. But it’s alright. We’re good, we’re just…not dating anymore.” You let out a laugh, retracting your hand away as you reached for the towel to wipe your daughter’s food-stained cheek. “Megumi and Yui still play together, I mean they’re besties now, right?” Yui giggled at the mention of her friend.
“That’s nice, he’s her first friend.” Satoru smiled genuinely. Aside from Yui’s occasional babbles, Satoru and you ate in silence. Eating together at your home is beginning to become a normal, regular thing now. And for some reason, it doesn’t worry you anymore. 
Getting Yui ready took a bit more time than it should have when she wanted her Dad to pick her clothes. Of course, none of you could say no. You quickly brought out your phone to take a photo of her and her father, holding hands as they stood before the clothes she took out of her drawer.
“It’s chilly. You can’t wear that.” You commented on the shirt she brought out. With a pout on her lips, she continued to pull on her clothes. “We’ll pair it with something. Yeah?” Satoru consoled her, earning a smile from the little girl. “I’ll make the two of you fold all of that.” You joked before turning to pick up a few scattered clothes. 
You checked her bag one last time, counting all the things she needed in your mind. You can hear her laughing as Satoru struggles to put on her boots. She is the happiest when he’s in the house. You fear that she’ll soon start asking about why her father lives in a different house, unlike most kids. 
“You don’t have to worry so much if she left something. We’ll probably be here tomorrow, you know how she is.” Satoru laughed, lifting the child. It’s true that even during the days when she’s supposed to be with her dad, she still asks him to see you. There was one time when they showed up at your work and everybody thought that you’re back together.
“It could be something important.” You sighed, leaning in to give your daughter a kiss. “Be good.” She nodded her head, wiggling her brows in the process, knowing that it never fails to make you laugh. Satoru can’t help but stare, statued by how close you are to each other; paralyzed by the fact that this could’ve been better if he never did what he did.
“Don’t forget the face creams at night, please.” You reminded him, stepping away as you locked eyes. “Of course.” He took the bag, walking towards the door with you trailing closely behind them. “Buh-bye!” She waved at you from her car seat. You watched as Satoru made sure it was locked before closing the door behind him.
“See you in a few days, Mama.” He spoke playfully, and you know that he’s just trying to say it for your daughter but it made your heart swell for some reason, a blush forcing its way to your cheek. This has been happening a lot with him, even when you were still with Toji. You tried to convince yourself that you were just “caught off guard.”
Work kept you busy for the whole day. It wasn’t long until you found yourself on your couch, smiling at the video Satoru sent you. Yui was holding an elephant bowl full of ice cream, focused on the movie playing on the screen. Their matching lilac pajamas made everything more adorable. After sending a reply, you put your phone down.
Days and weeks went by fast. Megumi and Yui played at the park together last week. You thought it’d be awkward but it was pretty much the same with Toji minus the intimacy. He was still chill to be with and he was still very caring towards you. And you admired him for all of it.
“I ran into them at the mall once. I think they went toy shopping.” He spoke, looking over at the kids as they struggled to understand how to make the seesaw work on their own. “Oh yeah, he mentioned that one time.” You replied, before giving a warning to your daughter who’s now so ready to climb the metal board.
Your mind went back to the image of Satoru coming in with boxes and bags, and a little kid trailing behind him, holding on to the hem of his jacket. He couldn’t even carry her because of everything but she was overjoyed, showing off her new stuff. 
“You can’t leave all that here. Her room isn’t big, Satoru.” You sighed, picking your daughter up, “You already have so many toys.” You reminded her but she wasn’t listening at all. “It’s alright, I’ll bring them to my house,” Satoru spoke as he put them on the couch. 
Sometimes you wonder if you’ll ever save up enough to get a bigger space for you and Yui. Satoru once brought it up, offering help but you don’t want that. You’re not together, so to you, being able to provide and improve on your own for your daughter is a goal. You trust that things’ll get better for you, even if you’re alone.
“You two working it out?” Toji's voice brought you out of your memory. You looked at him for a couple of seconds, and he just stared back at you, like he just asked the most normal question an ex could ask. “N-no. He’s not even trying, I mean he never even explicitly tried to show any hint. I doubt that any of us are thinking about that right now.” You rambled and he just nodded.
You didn’t mean to blurt out something like that so casually. But in all honesty, that made you more comfortable and less tense about all of this. He doesn’t make you feel awkward at all. He doesn’t make you feel like you’re stuck in your past with him. It’s almost as if he’s just been a friend, a very close one, all this time.
There was a moment of easy silence between the two of you. You can only hear the noises from the other kids and the two in front of you. But it wasn’t long until it was broken by Toji. “He loves you, you know?” You feel like even the sound of your breaths paused. “I’m not saying that you should force yourself to try again with him. I just want you to know that Satoru genuinely loves you.”
Thinking about it now, you realize that you and Toji never really talked like this about your relationship with Satoru before. It’s always just the problems and the past that you always claimed to be only bitter memories now. 
Toji leaned back on the chair, not caring if you were answering or not. He’s good at sensing the atmosphere, and you’re not in a way bothered by the topic. You were surprised to hear it from him, of course, but you don’t feel troubled at all. 
“Satoru and I had a talk once, just the two of us. I was expecting less from him due to how he treated you before.” He crossed his arms on his chest, eyes wandering as he recalled, “But he was so sure with his words, I was kind of taken aback.” He chuckled, and you wondered what his exact words were.
“No offense, but I feel like that was the only time I really looked at him as a man; a grown man.” He laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “I know 'cause I’ve been there.” He nodded, sounding softer and you just know who he’s thinking about. “The resolve; the determination in him even when he knows that it’s impossible.”
“He has to work on a lot of things. He’s got so much to reflect on.” You sighed, unsure of how to react, not because you rejected the information but because it got your heart drumming in your chest. “We gotta grow as individuals. And if we’re meant to be together, it’s…it’ll happen on its own.” You chuckled, swallowing dryly. 
You don’t know if that scares you or excites you for the future. But you know that it’s gonna be so much better than before.
—---------------------------------------
6 Months Later
“Mama why? Mama why?” You heard Satoru laugh loudly at your daughter's words. She’s been repeating the same words over and over since you started getting her ready. Her hair was up extra nice today and she’s staring at her gown hanging near the dresser.
“Mama whats go on? Huh, Mama?” She asked again, sending Satoru into another fit of laughter. “Baby, I’ve been saying. It’s Yui Day today. Your birthday.” You smiled at her kindly, securing the cute hair clips on her head. “I don’t think she’s fully taken any of this in.” Satoru sat on her bed, looking at the two of you.
Her grandfather volunteered to take care of the preparations at Satoru’s house. The helpers arrived early in the morning and Satoru left him there to pick the two of you up and to help get his little girl ready. You’re still in your house clothes and you’re not even a step closer to being ready. 
“Go take a shower, I got her.” Satoru arrived just as you were fixing Yui’s hair. “Okay, the shoes are over there. Put the headband on after the dress so it won’t mess up her hair.” You reminded him as you stood up. “Yes, Ma’am.” The little girl jumped towards him pointing at her dress. You stepped out and got ready as quickly as you can. 
You were supposed to wear the dress you bought the other week. It wasn’t much and you were worried that it might not look that good, especially with the guests that will come over. You didn’t want to look cheap but you wanted to save so you went for something that goes in the middle. 
To your surprise, when Satoru brought Yui’s gown and shoes, he got another set with him. You thought it was for some outfit change but he soon revealed, albeit shyly, that he thought the dress matched the theme of your daughter’s party so he got it for you. It was a designer dress and a pair of shoes. 
“I’d…I’ll pay for this, alright? I can’t just—” He cut you off with a close-lipped smile and a gentle sight. “Y/N, I know it’s hard to accept this but I already had lots of shortcomings with you and Yui. This doesn’t mean anything, don’t worry. I’m not trying to, you know, I just want you to feel your best during our daughter’s birthday.” He spoke, nervousness still clear in his voice.
“B-but you’re free to decline it if you don’t feel comfortable, sorry, I can take it back to the—” This time you cut him off with a laugh, “I’m sorry this is just so… expensive. I don’t know how to feel if I just openly accept it from you.” You placed the box on the table behind you, sitting down in hopes of changing the atmosphere. 
“Okay, then…just consider this as a gift since I, uh, failed to get you one on your last birthday.” He breathed out the last part as if it was a heavy feeling in his chest that he couldn’t push past his lips. It isn’t as heavy as it was to you though.
Your last birthday was painful to remember, probably the worst one you had ever since you were born even if you never had a big celebration your whole life aside from when you were with Satoru. Last year, your birthday was on the same day as Satoru’s co-parenting schedule. 
That time you were hoping that he and Yui would celebrate it with you. But that morning, he came in with Naomi. With hickeys peeking from his jacket, messy hair, and swollen lips, they picked Yui up. You remember your daughter babbling about “Mama day” in a much less understood baby talk that Naomi still caught.
“Oh, is it your birthday? She said ‘mama day’, right?” Her bright eyes shined at you, dimples showing as she smiled but it didn’t lessen the ache in your chest. “Oh, sorry. Happy birthday.” Satoru spoke, proceeding to take his daughter’s belongings. “We should’ve picked Yui up in the afternoon so, they could spend time together.” She suggested, laughing awkwardly.
“What time did you book the Children’s Museum trip?” Satoru halted, his back turned to you. You were about to interrupt, afraid that you were starting to look too pitiful for the lovebirds in front of you and your child. “It starts at 10:00.” She spoke, adjusting the toddler on her hip. “It’s 9:19.” Satoru read his watch, biting his lips with his eyebrows scrunched together.
“We can’t really leave her now, the Children’s Museum isn’t open every day. You can…uh—” He tried to think, turning to you but you can’t take it anymore. “N-no. It’s alright. You—Yui have fun, baby, alright? We’ll go out when you’re back home.” You waved at the child and her smile soothed you. Almost.
“Happy birthday, Y/N, sorry.” Naomi smiled, avoiding your eyes and you hated it. You hated that she felt sorry for you. You hated that they felt sorry for you. “Enjoy your day.” She added, turning around as she urged your daughter to wave again. “We’ll get going, sorry again. Happy birthday.” He spoke lowly, earning a fake smile and a nod from you.
You closed the door before you could even see him put his hand on her waist and guide them to his car. It was supposed to be. That should be the three of you. You wiped the stray tear that fell from your eyes with the back of your hand. That day, you stayed at home, slept until your mother came and brought food, and refused to tell her the story. 
That night you stayed awake, wondering how many falls a heart can take before it turns to dust, never to be recovered again.
“Done?” Satoru’s voice brought you back to reality. Your eyes flickered to the reflection of the door in the mirror. You were about to respond when the door burst open, and your child trudged in, almost falling as she squealed. “Mama! Pretty Mama!” She pulled at her skirt, turning. “Wow, lovely. You’re so beautiful, baby!” You cooed at her as she hugged your robe-covered waist.
“Dada put this. Dada! This!” You can tell how excited she is by how she shows off everything; from her headband to her anklets and shoes. She even shows it to her father even if he’s the one who dressed her up. You chuckled in amusement, all the pain numbed as your eyes focused on the present.
You looked over at Satoru who tries to look everywhere but you. Your hair’s still wet from the shower, and you’re still in your robe, all bare underneath and you can’t believe it took you this long to realize that. “You’re so pretty, how about we take pictures downstairs? Or with your toys?” He tried to convince her, wanting to give you time to dress up.
“Mama come!” She pulls at you, “Mama has to wear her pretty dress too, so you’ll be twins.” Satoru quickly picked her up, smiling at you as her daughter babbled excitedly, allowing him to distract her as he closed the door behind them. You turned to look at yourself in the mirror once more, drying your hair quietly.
Thinking back on what Toji said, you can’t just believe them after everything Satoru has done.
—---------------------------------------
You can feel Satoru’s light touch as the three of you pose for the final picture of the day before the party ends. It has been such a long day. Yui happily walked around, clapping at the guests when they sang her a birthday song; quite the opposite of what you thought would happen. You and Satoru received a lot of statements and questions as you were greeting the visitors too.
“Oh, you’re back together again, that’s great!” His aunt said to which he quickly answered with a chuckle, “I’d love that, but no.” You smiled at the old lady, thankful for the understanding face rather than pushing.
“I knew you’d be back to Y/N!” His cousin winked at you, raising a fist bump which you couldn’t really reject. Satoru nodded his head, glancing at you awkwardly at how loud the man was being  “When did you guys get back together?” He elbowed him like he was so sure of the information. 
“We’re not…really back together. We’re…This is co-parenting.” Satoru took Yui from you. “Say hi.” And that’s how he changed that topic. He met Yui once when she was a baby and to say that he was mesmerized by how much she looked like Satoru now is an understatement. “How did you manage to turn yourself into a little girl.” He and Satoru laughed and you excused yourself to greet some of your relatives who attended. 
“I would be mad but, oh well, anything that makes that little doll happy.” Your grandma sighed, smiling as she hugged you. “We’re not back together. I’ll bring her here in a bit.” You muttered, pulling at your dress. “That’s a nice dress you have, it looks expensive, honey.” Your mother complimented.
“Yeah, Satoru got it…f-for me. So, uh, we could match the theme. He organized this.” You smiled nervously, worried at how her eyebrows raised. “I’ll be back, Mom.” You added with a little wave before going back to Satoru and Yui who were now looking at you in distress as she got taken by Satoru’s friend.
“Don’t take him back.” was Shoko’s first words to you as you reached them, making the whole table and you laugh. “Stop it.” Satoru grunted, “Give me my kid back if you’re going to be like that.” He rolled his eyes playfully before meeting yours. “He’s still far from that.” You replied, making them laugh again. Satoru knows that you aren’t joking at all.
It’s funny how the people around you have different views regarding reconciliation with him. And you, you don’t want to think of it. Or more like you’re scared to think of it. 
Because you fear that deep in your heart, you still yearn for all of it.
“Yui!” A voice called and when you turned around it was Megumi in his cut little outfit that almost matched Yui’s dress. “Oh gosh, you’re so cute ‘Gumi!” You cooed, hugging the little boy. He would look down at his shirt and back at you as if to show it off. Your eyes wandered around for Toji and you found him speaking to your Mother. You smiled as he waved at you.
“I didn’t see you guys come in.” You spoke as you got close to them. “Sorry, we’re a bit late. He wanted to get another gift.” Toji laughed, nodding at Megumi’s direction who was now walking towards your table with Satoru and Yui. “Thanks for coming.” Satoru encouraged, a little awkwardly.
“Megumi wouldn’t miss his best friend’s birthday.” Toji reached over to fix his son's clothes. You stayed for a bit to talk with Toji and your mom, Satoru took the kids to the photo booth to play with the other kids at the party. 
And now you’re walking the last few of the helpers out the door, thanking them for the smooth flow of the event. Yui already fell asleep on Satoru’s shoulder, just like her little friend. Toji went home with a sleepy Megumi who refused to get carried by his dad and insisted on walking despite the constant stumbling.
Thanking Satoru’s Dad before he heads home, he gives the two of you a piece of advice: “I hope you two are not thinking too much of what to do with what you have.” You both didn’t know what to say. You don’t even get it at first but when he spoke again, it all made sense.
“It will happen if it’s meant to happen. Like before. When you were blessed with this angel.” He softly stroked Yui’s cheek, chuckling when her nose twitched. “Well, that’s all. You’re both doing just great. Satoru, stop worrying about the things with your mom. Leave that to me.” With that, he bid goodbye and left. 
You had to stop yourself from being too curious about what happened with Satoru and his mother. All that you know is that he broke up with Naomi and you thought that she probably tried to stop him, of course. What’s bugging you is the fact that his father had to comfort him about it. Would it be too much to ask?
“Let’s go inside.” He ushered, adjusting his daughter in his arms and patting her head as she wiggled a little before going back to sleep. “I’m glad we hired helpers. I don’t think I can handle cleaning after all of that.” He laughed, carefully sitting on the couch. “I don’t know how celebrities do meet and greets. I feel so drained.” You agreed sitting down on the loveseat.
“I can’t believe she’s three now. It’s like she was still so tiny a few months ago.” His whispers were low; gentle. You could hear all the love in his voice and the tired yet contented look on his face as he gazed lovingly at his child. She could be getting a sibling now, but you fucked around. You caught yourself thinking, biting your lip at the realization of how silly you’re being.
After a short conversation, Satoru decided to put her in her bed. You’re sure that she’ll be awake in an hour or two. You agreed to stay the night here since you considered that Yui might want to open her gifts by the end of the party. She already opened some earlier due to curiosity but got distracted multiple times and ended up forgetting about them. 
“Oh, shit.” You whispered, rummaging through the baby bag with her feet on your lap. You were trying to clean her a little but you ran out of wipes and you forgot to put the extra pack due to the rush this early morning. You carefully placed her feet down to get up and find Satoru. You saw him in his front yard, putting away some things that had been used earlier.
“Does she have wet wipes here? The one in her bag ran out.” You asked him, stepping out of the house. “Yeah, it’s in my bedside drawer, do you mind getting it?” He spoke, carrying a foldable table to the other end of the yard, “Okay.” You found his bedroom door ajar and let yourself in.
Did he specify which one? There are two bedside tables. You went to the closest one, opening the first drawer. You knew you were looking for the wipes and that’s why you came here, you mentally noted that anything in here does not concern you and thus, must not be meddled with. 
But right now you’re staring at the brown envelope with a hospital address and a name with the  “MD, OB-GYN” title plastered on it. You don’t have to have a degree to understand that. You can feel your heart slowly picking up a pace as you think of all the possible meanings of it.
Was Naomi pregnant and they decided to abort it? Did Satoru make her do it? What if he made her do it because of the fact that he still wants to be with you? You can’t really do anything if that’s why but it makes you feel…accountable. Is this why they broke up on bad terms that even his mother doesn’t want to see him anymore?
The envelope was staring back at you and you can’t help but feel like touching it; opening it. You can get your answer right now if you just read what’s inside this quickly. You won’t have to think about all of this anymore. The voice in your head silenced the approaching footsteps and the sound of Satoru’s voice calling your name.
A shadow was cast upon you and the paper. You looked up to see Satoru staring at the envelope with slightly wide eyes. He quickly closed the cabinet, swallowing as he avoided your eyes. “Sorry, I forgot to mention.” He moved away to get the wipes from the other drawer. “It-it’s here.” He walked quickly, urging you to get moving. “Let’s go before she wakes up—”
“What was that, Satoru?” You don’t care how this made you sound as you grabbed his arm preventing him from leaving the room. He wouldn’t have reacted that way; he wouldn’t have disregarded the matter if it wasn’t something to be hidden. Why did he look so alarmed that you saw it? Like you’re not supposed to know about it.
“It was an old test, I forgot to throw it away.” He rasped, staring at your lips; staring everywhere but your eyes. “I know how to read. The date it was delivered shouldn’t be far from the day the test was done, right?” You half blinked, breathing in as you told yourself to calm down. You don’t know how you’d feel if he told you that’s none of your business. 
“Was Naomi pregnant when you broke up with her?” Your voice was a bit more steady, “No.” He sounded small and you could tell that whatever was going on inside his head wasn’t easy to verbalize. “Then, what’s there to hide about it?” You don’t need him to tell you, you could tell that you weren’t supposed to see that.
“I fear that I might be getting a little too overconfident about your feelings for me but—” You lowered your eyes, embarrassed at how that sounded and a bit thankful for being cut off. “She was never pregnant. Sh-she tried…while I was intoxicated. I got her examined.” Satoru rambled, obviously triggered by your words. 
“She what?” You looked at him, brows furrowed and eyes wide, finding it hard to believe the assumption in your head. “I got drunk. She…she tried to…” He walked towards that drawer, pulling out the envelope and the paper inside. 
“Y/N, read it. I couldn't… I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to vent about this to you because that’s all I’ve been doing, I just want to give you all the good now. I’ll try, Y/N, I promise.” At this point, you don’t even know what he’s trying to explain to you but the welling tears in his eyes and the coldness of his fingers against your skin was enough to pull you to him.
The papers were dropped to the floor as you held him to you. His head was bowed down as he cried on your shoulder as if this was the first day he was allowed to cry about this; as if this was the first time he could hold on to someone while the fear, anger, and shame tore him to pieces.
He held onto you as he sobbed his heart out after holding it all in for so long.
He doesn’t deserve this. No matter what he did or said, Satoru doesn’t deserve this. After everything, you can see how much he’s trying. Despite not being promised anything, he’s giving his all. It wouldn’t be easy to forget and it won’t be easy to trust. But the love you feel for this man comes too naturally to be contained.
“You didn’t deserve that…” You hushed him, hearing him blame himself was shattering. Does his mother know? Why did she disappear as well? What really happened? “Satoru, what happened with your Mom?” His breath hitches. The grown man in the room is now in the form of a child, looking for a hand to hold.
“She knew about it.” His cheeks were wet and his eyes bloodshot as he looked up, running his fingers through his hair. You thought there was something wrong that day. But you didn’t think it could be this bad. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t want to ruin this day, this is our baby girl’s day, I shouldn’t have-“
“Satoru, don’t talk like that. That’s beyond your control.” His breaths were shaky. You doubt that even his closest friends knew about this. “My dad and I placed a restraining order against them. I can’t look at those people the same way anymore.” His eyes were closed as he took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about what you’d feel or think if you accidentally found out…like now. I should’ve explained earlier.” He was referring to your assumptions earlier. “I know it’s hard. I’m sorry, I jumped to conclusions.” You don’t know how long the two of you were staring into each other’s eyes but a voice took you out of the little world that you share. 
“Mama…” A cute, sleepy voice called out from outside of the bedroom. “I’ll get her. Calm your mind, Satoru. It’s over. We’re here.” You have no idea how big of an impact those words had on Satoru. He almost wanted to cry again, to pull you close and cry to you again. 
To see your back walking out of this bedroom door, but this time with the promise of being on the other side, waiting. 
He sat there for a few more minutes, releasing all the heaviness in his chest before getting up to wash his face. Leaning on the doorframe of his daughter’s room, he saw you putting on her little sweaters as you sat barefoot on the floor. “Gumi sing me.�� The child spoke with enthusiasm. “He did? What did he sing?” You encouraged, fixing her clothes. 
“Can you sing me a song too?” He interrupted, walking in to sit down with you. It was all it took for Satoru to forget what happened earlier. Eating at home with the two of you always feels like an answered prayer. After that, you helped the child open her gifts until way past her sleeping hours.
Walking you to the guest room felt like the first time you lived together; awkward yet heartwarming. Of course, no boundaries were crossed. He wouldn’t try. And you won’t allow it. At least he got to wish you a good night and sweet dreams again.
—---------------------------------------
Days, weeks, and months went by fast. It’s already been 4 months since Yui’s birthday and now you’re walking with her and Satoru at a grocery store. “Yui, this is for the stuff we will buy, this is not a stroller.” You explained as she tried to get Satoru to put her in the pushcart. 
He wasn’t supposed to be with you here but it’s Yui’s pick-up day and you decided that you need to get some stuff. Satoru asked if he and Yui could join you since he doesn’t have anything planned except for an early movie night with his little girl. “You’re not a little baby anymore.” She hit Satoru’s chest as he pouted teasingly at her.
“Hey. We don’t hit.” You talked to her sternly, making her put her head on her father’s chest, whispering an almost inaudible apology. “Satoru, do not let her hit you, she’ll get used to doing that.” You reminded him, knowing that he can’t ever scold his baby girl.
“Yes, Ma’am.” He replied absentmindedly, bouncing the kid in his arms to get her to laugh. These days, you’ve been getting comfortable with things like this. You’ve been getting comfortable with compliments like “Oh you make cute babies” from old people who take a liking to your daughter.
You’ve been getting comfortable with Satoru pushing the cart for you as you look for what you need, reaching for the items on the top shelf, carrying your bags for you, and driving you home as you sit in the passenger seat.
Like right now.
“Her sleeping schedule got a lot better when she changed her vitamins, yeah?” You responded to Satoru with a hum as you chewed on your fries, handing a piece to your daughter as she kicked on her car seat. “Her doctor recommended that. I’m glad it works, she used to get up so early.” The car stopped in front of your apartment.
“Would you like to stay? I’ll be cooking.” You won’t deny that this isn’t the first time you asked, “I’d love to stay.” And this isn’t the first time he agreed. You don’t know why but you didn’t budge from the passenger seat, knowing that Satoru was rushing to open the door for you. You went to your baby and took her inside, not worrying about your things and the groceries you bought.
You can’t remember the last time it felt awkward with Satoru lying on your couch with your daughter. You also can’t remember how he had a pair of spare house slippers for him here. Walking past the fridge, you saw a photo of Yui and Megumi from their recent pool party. 
Satoru came to pick you and Yui up but you ended up staying for another hour. You can’t remember when Toji and Satoru shed a noticeable amount of awkwardness around them. At one point, you even heard them talking about business like they didn’t try to rip each other’s heads off when they first met. 
You can’t remember at what point everything started going right but you’re not complaining.
“Where’s her choccy-juice?” Satoru mimicked Yui’s words, laughing. “I told her we were about to eat in a few minutes but she won’t listen.” Taking the chocolate milk from the fridge, he stood beside you to fulfill his daughter’s request. “She’s not supposed to have a lot of that.” You sighed, “I’ll just let her have a taste so she’ll stop.” His voice sounded so much softer now.
“Dada!” She came running to the kitchen, holding onto Satoru’s leg as she tried to have a peek at what you were cooking. “Wanna see? Here’s your choccy.” He lifted her, letting her hold the sippy cup as they watched you cook. “Hmm…” Both you and Satoru can’t help but laugh at her reaction. 
You don’t know if it’s because a lot of things happened but they all feel like distant memories; some of which you can’t even clearly see in the back of your mind. Satoru felt like a new man and along with this, the pain of your past continuously fades away each time you see his face. 
You don’t want to name the feeling yet but, you know that all that’s meant to happen will happen. 
Like it did when you had Yui. Like it did when you got sundered. Like it did when you tried with different people. Like it does now, as you slowly, steadily fall back together.
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alargehunkofdebris · 10 months
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Why There’ll Never Be Another Good Omens 2 Experience
The strangest thing happened after a few days post my watching of S2. I got a wave of real, bittersweet sadness.
Not due to the obvious – I was dealing with that too, but with more excitement than anything – but because I realized something, as a writer and consumer of media. I realized that it’s unlikely I’ll ever get a media experience close to what I experienced at the end of Good Omens 2. Because really, its setup was absolutely unparalleled – in general, and for myself personally.
I am currently writing my third romance, and what I’ve learned primarily about the genre, the way for it to really work, is that there needs to be something keeping the couple apart initially. The more things keeping the couple apart, the stronger the romance hits. The more the couple clashes with each other, the better it is. Societal norms, class issues, initial dislike, literal danger—all these aspects are what make a romance a story. It’s that conflict that creates the compelling narrative. No romance was ever popular because things worked out well from the beginning – it’s that “look at what we were, and look at us now” aspect that gives readers/watchers that satisfaction. It’s the “I can’t believe this happened” effect. The “I would never have foreseen this” effect. The “they’ll never be together” effect. It’s why forbidden romances are so incredibly popular.
Another aspect that makes a romance story really work well is the amount of time it takes for the romance to develop. A couple that gets together after a few days? Eh, it’s tricky. You better make it really dramatic somehow. A great example is Titanic – class differences, betrothal, and a huge amount of danger threatens this couple, so them being in love after only a few days works. But what really sells this one is because we can see how this romance has survived beyond those few days. We see it 80 years in the future, still there, in the memory of Rose. That is why it hits so hard. Romances that span over long periods of time (especially ones that are bittersweet/tragic) hit so much more than ones spanning a short period.
But wait! There’s more!
You can up this effect by not only having the romance take time in story…but having it take time in real life, for the viewer/reader.
This is why romances in TV shows that take years to finally work out are so compelling. It’s that “Pam and Jim” effect, that will-they-won’t-they deal. We are waiting right along with them, and we’re feeling that same relief when all those things keeping them apart finally fall away. This is harder to pull off, because there’s never that guarantee that the story will make it that far. TV shows get cancelled, creators lose interest or die, etc. So it’s not just “Will They, Won’t They,” it’s “Will They, Won’t They, Can They Even Try?”
This is also compounded by that fear that it won’t happen in-story after all, and while in romances you’re pretty positive that things work out (they kinda have to, for it to be labeled a “romance”) in other media, there’s always that possibility. Look at Community – there’s a forbidden/conflict-ridden romance that didn’t end up working out, even though it was “Will They, Won’t They”d for six entire seasons. You also then have shows and ships where fans are almost sure it won’t happen, but still hold out hope. (See: Supernatural, Sherlock, etc.)
Now. Now look at Good Omens. Look at that absolutely unparalleled, unbelievable set up. It’s unbelievable because it takes almost every single thing that makes a romance compelling, and not only uses all of them, but dials them up to 11.
Why are they at odds? Why are they forbidden from being together?
Because they are literally the most opposing forces you can imagine in Western Canon. They are the Angel Guarding The Gate and The Serpent of Eden. The literal only way you could’ve made this a bigger deal would’ve been to make it God and Satan, and even that would’ve not hit as hard, because it’d be like two CEOs getting together – there’s no fear of a higher power adding that delicious conflict. And to add to all this, in real life, the couple is portrayed as two men, which adds that second meta level of conflict.
And what fear/danger is keeping this couple apart?
Not just familial disappointment—but disappointment from God and Heaven and Hell. Not just moral guilt, but the guilt of potentially dooming the entire Earth. And finally, on top of that, the very real danger of being killed. Not only that, but making it as though you never even existed.
And in real life, they face all those roadblocks that queer couples in media have been battling for years and years, but I'll talk about that more in a second.
Okay, then Time. How long have they been kept apart?
For…all of it.
All of the time that ever existed.
They, quite literally, could not have been kept apart longer.
And this leads into those final two points, the ones that actually really sell it. Because I can sit down right now and write a story about an angel and a demon falling for each other at the beginning of time against all odds…but what I can’t do is to have already written it thirty-three years ago.
That’s how long this story has existed. Thirty. Three. Years.
I’m not even counting how this is using characters that have existed as opposing forces for thousands of years. I’m not even saying that, even though that’s also a part of it. But besides that, this story, this exact story started thirty-three years ago, and is still being continued by the author to this day.
Do you know how uncommon that is?
Yes, we have canon that has lasted for many, many years. Hundreds. We get new versions of beloved older stories ever year. But it’s so very rare that they are by the same creator. We get new Sherlock Holmes content, but it is not written by Arthur Conan Doyle. This, on the other hand, is actual canon content, written by the author of the original. That is unbelievably rare.
That means we’ve got a fandom where some people have grown up with these characters. People who read it at twenty are fifty-three. People who read it at fifty are eighty-three. Kids who saw their parents reading the book now have children of their own. It is a cult classic that has been in the hearts of so many people for generations. Me, personally, I fell in love with it ten years ago, at age twenty, at the very beginning of my own writing journey. This story means so much to people, because it’s stood that test of time.
And yet, this story was never explicitly romantic. So many saw it that way, but it was never something confirmed. Because this was a book from the 90s, at a time where this kind of romance just wasn’t in popular media if it wasn’t played as a joke. It was, back then, the same kind of “forbidden” as a romance between angel and demon. So people imagined, but they never expected anything more. And they’ve continued not expecting more, because even in the 2019 first season, there was never any true confirmation of anything, and people accepted it. You have a 33-year-old story here – it’s possible that this major change/confirmation could happen, but all things considered, it was unlikely. You would never blame the creator for not making major developments to a story they wrote with their late friend a lifetime ago. And no one in production was saying a word to confirm or deny, but we’ve seen all this before. It was a Will-They-Won’t-They…Probably-Not situation.
And then you have the end of S2.
And that's where that bittersweet sadness comes in for me, personally. Not at a huge level, not to the point where I'd have it any other way, but it's there regardless. Because I realized that this was a unique situation that could never be replicated, for me, and likely for many, especially readers of the book pre-show. In all likelihood, I would never again experience a romantic payoff like this one. Because it was the most forbidden of forbidden romances, the couple of which have been kept apart by the worst of all dangers and highest level of guilt for the longest amount of time literally possible, written over a real-life span of time where this kind of romance went from “completely taboo even in real life” to “finally acceptable in popular media,” written by the same creator, and not confirmed as canon until the story reached the age of Jesus Christ himself.
And the real kicker is, even after everything these two literally star-crossed lovers have gone through…they’re still being kept apart. They’ve still not taken down those final, seemingly insurmountable barriers between them. It wasn’t a “here you go 😊” move to make long-time fans happy – it’s being used as a perfect, painful plot point. After 33 years, we’re still having to wait longer.
Chef's kiss. Couldn’t have been a better set up if it was mathematically calculated. And yet, the best part is that it happened organically.
It just works.
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jeneveuxrein · 5 months
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best behavior (BLACKPINK Jennie)
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word count: 11.2K
(this one was fun, lol)
You have a problem. 
To some, it wouldn’t be considered a problem. Maybe more of a hassle, or an annoyance at the very least.
To you, however, this is nuclear. Talking a DEFCON level one type of situation. 
It could’ve been easily avoided. 
Almost stupidly avoided if you hadn’t been such a pushover.
You were at dinner with Rosie and Lisa two weeks ago. They invited you to join them and a couple of your other friends on a small camping trip over the coming long weekend. You considered it, but when they told you exactly who was going, the decision was easy. 
“What do you mean you’re not going?” Rosie asked after hearing your answer. 
“Chaeng,” You dropped your fork, reaching for your wine glass, suddenly wanting something stronger. “If she’s going, you know I can’t.”
“It’s been years, oppa. She doesn’t mind,” Lisa said, nodding reassuringly. 
“We literally just got to a place where we can be in the same room and not argue,” You reasoned, finishing your drink in one gulp. 
“Which is why spending a few nights with her won’t be that hard,” Rosie smiles, adding, “She already knows you’re going, and she didn’t have much to say except for cool. So I think you’ll be okay. Plus, Jisoo and my sister will be there. You won’t even have to talk to her if you don’t want to.” 
Rosie had a solid argument. It slightly irritated you that she said you were going before you were even invited. You reluctantly said yes, excited to get away from the constraints of the city with the hopes you wouldn’t have to say anything more than hello to her. 
Her being Kim Jennie, your ex-girlfriend. 
The one who got away. The one who you royally fucked things up with. Any and all cliches fit your disaster of a relationship. 
You were young at the time. And stupid. 
So very stupid. 
You knew the moment Jisoo introduced Jennie to you at a party that she’d be the one you were going to marry. 
It took groveling and nearly losing your dignity for Jennie to finally say yes after months of asking her out, that you’d do absolutely anything to make sure she knew you only had eyes for her. 
But again, you were stupid. 
Before Jennie, you had a bit of a history with women. Player seemed to fit, though you thought of it more as indulgence to spend your nights with a beautiful woman. You developed a reputation that all your friends knew of your unwillingness to commit. 
Everyone was surprised at Jennie when she said yes. The girls, mainly Nayeon and Jihyo, were vocal about their opinions on your relationship, but Jennie didn’t care. She brushed them off, saying that she trusted you anyway. 
Something you stupidly broke. 
It was even more stupid whenever you thought about it, which was more than you’d like to admit. 
You were at a party, celebrating Rosie’s promotion, when you received a message from Jennie that she wouldn’t be able to make it. Something had come up at work, and she wasn’t able to leave. You didn’t bother responding, ticked off again that work had become the priority. 
You’d been dating for over a year at that point, and there was a small shift in your relationship. It was subtle, but enough for you to notice. It had been a small point of contention at first, then slowly built-up resentment turned into a huge argument about not spending time together anymore.
Because for Jennie, her climbing the corporate ladder was number one. You were considered second—one-point five as she would say. You’d throw it in her face, but she was adamant it was only temporary.
You really should’ve checked your messages again before you and Chaewon drunkenly stumbled into your apartment. If you did, then you would’ve known Jennie was waiting for you.
You froze as soon as you saw your girlfriend sitting on your couch, wearing a black silk robe with the slightest hint of lace peeking at the top. The guilt immediately washed over you as soon as you heard Chaewon sigh, a quiet stupid falling from her lips before she walked out. The only reason why she came home with you was because of the picture you painted of a broken heart, something that was a blatant lie, but soon became an obvious truth. 
You tried to explain, words forming sentences that had no merit, no weight that could get Jennie to believe you. She remained silent the whole time, that her last words to you before she left was I trusted you and that was that. 
You technically—if you wanted to be a real asshole—didn’t cheat. Nothing happened between you and Chaewon, but it was obvious that if Jennie didn’t show up, something would’ve happened. The intention was there, but you were stupid because you were young, immature, selfish and you couldn’t be patient. She never gave you any doubt that she didn’t want to be with you, but you were just stupid.  
You still had to see her after that. You couldn’t avoid it. You had the same friends, and it didn’t help that you were close to Jisoo, Rosie, and Lisa—Jennie’s best friends. 
In the beginning, you apologized every time you saw her, pleading—borderline begging—for her to give you one more chance. She would walk away, but you’d reach out to pull her back. Your face would be sore and red every single time. 
It got to the point where you were just as petty as she was. You mocked her every time she spoke, making faces and scoffing at any word that came from her mouth. She would curse you out and you’d just smile, eliciting an even greater reaction that Lisa had to physically restrain her away before she bruised your face. 
You didn’t get a pass. Jisoo kicked you square in the gonads once she found out what happened. Rosie threatened to sue you for whatever reason she could find. Lisa just shook her head, disappointed that you did what you swore you wouldn’t.
Lisa’s reaction hurt the most, reminding you of the effort you put to be with Jennie, and that was something you couldn’t forgive yourself for, the regret weighing on your shoulders every time you were in the same room with her. 
A feeble attempt to try to move on was made, but it wasn’t fair to the women who genuinely showed interest in you to be paraded in front of Jennie as a means to make her jealous. 
Whether it worked or not, you didn’t know. What you did know was that almost a year after you broke up, Jennie introduced everyone to her boyfriend—Taehyung. 
And intentional or not, you were jealous. 
You wanted to deck him square in the jaw for some comment he made during a conversation about cheating, but Lisa was there to pull you outside, reminding you that you had every intention of cheating on Jennie because of what your relationship was at that point. 
“She’s trying, oppa. She loved you too, but it wasn’t enough for you to wait,” Lisa lit up a cigarette after watching you kick a few chairs over. 
That stuck with you, forcing you to mellow out whenever Jennie was there. You started to politely greet her, which she met with a cool indifference, unfazed by your change in attitude.
It became cordial at the very least. The walls were up and you didn’t have it in you to break them down. You helped build them up after all.   
So the problem you’re currently experiencing could’ve just been avoided if you were firm in your no. 
“Why do you look stressed out?” Rosie asks as your jaw clenches, a headache forming in between your eyebrows. 
“Count how many tents we have,” You grit out, staring at the reserved camp site. 
“One… Two… Three… What’s wrong… Oh,” Rosie’s voice falls flat when she realizes what the problem was. “Shit, let me go talk to Alice.” 
You sigh when Rosie drops the wood she was holding on the ground, hurrying over to where Alice is. You quickly hear the siblings start to argue, causing you to sigh again because the only option that you think of is if you leave and come back to pick them up. 
“Why are they arguing?” Jennie asks out of nowhere, that you drop the wood you just picked up. 
“Jesus, when the hell did you get there?” You shake your head, doing everything you can to regulate your heartbeat. 
“I just got here,” Jennie shrugs as if she didn’t scare you. “So what’s going on?” 
“There’s only three tents,” You awkwardly answer, bracing yourself for her to yell at you for forgetting to bring the tent. 
The sleeping arrangements were decided on the hike to the campsite. The Park siblings would share a tent, Lisa and Jisoo would bunk together, while you and Jennie had your own tents. When you finished putting together the third tent and went to look for the fourth, it could not be found.
“I can just sleep by the fire,” You offer, already thinking of how you’ll get sick and how your assistant will hate you for missing work. 
“It’s fine,” Jennie waves you off, placing the water jugs at her feet. “We can share.” 
“Wh-what?” You stutter out, eyes widening. “We don’t need to do that.” 
“Stop being difficult,” Jennie rolls her eyes. “We can be adult about things, and it would make me feel bad if you got sick.” 
You open and close your mouth, but no words come out. You’re rendered speechless. Jennie hasn’t said anything remotely nice to you in over three years. The fact that she’s offering to share the tent with you speaks volumes. 
“Careful,” You say with the slightest hint of teasing, “It’s like you almost care about me or something.” 
The muttered shut up you hear has you absolutely grinning. It goes away the second she ‘accidentally’ kicks your shin as she steps over to the log. 
--
“Watch out, Jendeuks,” Jisoo slurs out, the effects of the soju catching up to her. It’s catching up to all of you at this point. “Oppa doesn’t behave around drunk girls, especially if he’s drunk himself.” 
“Jisoo,” You roll your eyes, watching the women around you laugh at your expense. 
“What?” Jisoo’s eyes narrow in your direction. “I don’t need to wake up tomorrow morning with the mandu upset for you trying something with her.” 
“I’m not even going to do anything!” You raise your arms up in defense, shaking your head. 
The girls, Alice included, had a field day when Jennie told them you’d be sharing the tent with her. They relentlessly teased you, almost to the point of where you’d rather get sick and end up in the hospital than having to share the next few nights with Jennie. 
“Ah,” Lisa clicks her tongue, waving a finger at you, “We’d have to watch out for Jennie instead, since Taehyung broke things off with her.” 
What?
“Lisa,” Jennie grits out, eyes glaring at the youngest member. “Shut the fuck up.” 
“What? Who cares, he sucked anyways,” Lisa honestly answers. “He was so insecure over op–”
Jennie’s hands are over Lisa’s mouth before she could finish that sentence. It piques your interest since it sounded like their breakup had something to do with you, but you couldn’t understand how you were involved. 
“On that note,” You watch Jennie and Lisa wrestle, “I’m going to bed.”
“It’s probably best if we all call it a night,” Alice stands, nodding in agreement that it was time for sleep.
“Jen,” You say, out of habit more than anything, that it has the two women stopping to look at you. When you realize your slip up, you awkwardly scratch your head, “Err, uh, you can change in the tent first, I’m just going to head to the bathroom. Leave it unzipped when you’re done, please.” 
You don’t bother waiting for her to respond, knowing she’ll do it anyways. 
By the time you return, the tent’s unzipped. You slip your shoes off before awkwardly climbing into the tent. It’s big enough for three people, but comfortably with two people and all their belongings. Your sleeping bags are on opposite sides of the tent, which the set-up isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. 
“Hey,” You greet her quietly, unzipping your sleeping bag to add another layer of warmth since the temperature suddenly dropped as soon as the sun set. 
“Hi, do you need to change?” Jennie asks politely, head tilting towards the tent entrance. 
You shake your head, deeming your sweats and hoodie were more than enough since you had an extra blanket. “I’m good.” 
“Okay, well,” Jennie shuts off the lamp once you’re tucked in, “Good night.” 
“Good night,” You murmur, listening to the fabric rustle as she settles into her sleeping bag. 
Once it goes completely silent, except for the not-so-hushed conversation between Jisoo and Lisa from the other tent, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Your eyes slowly close before sleep takes you, the tiredness from the day knocking you out.
--
You hear your name being called out, forcing you out of your slumber. It couldn’t be that early based on the small amount of light casted on the tent.
You look around before hearing your name again and realize Jennie’s the one saying it. 
“Jennie?” You whisper out, sitting up to Jennie’s sleeping bag much closer to yours than where it was before you fell asleep. 
What happens next has you sinking back into your sleeping bag when Jennie moans, a sound you’re all-too familiar with. 
Fuck is all that crosses your mind. You’re completely fucked and if there was some higher being out there, you would pray to them every day on your knees to get you out of this situation. It’s probably retribution for all the wrongs you’ve ever done in your life, and to hear your ex-girlfriend moan your name while she’s asleep is the worst kind of fate. 
You never thought you’d hear her like that ever again, but it reminds you of all the times she did. 
You wouldn’t exactly say you had a high sex drive because you are human, but when it came to sex and threw Jennie in the mix, it was hard for you to control yourself. Your relationship was physical, as expected from any healthy relationship, but there was something that could never compare to the other women you’ve known so intimately. 
When she told you she loved you, you made sure you showed her exactly how much you loved her right back.
You were into kinks and the like, but the word daddy out of her mouth had you fucking her like your life depended on it. 
Sometimes it did. She would always want more, losing herself around you that had you lost with her, but you’d find each other in the end. 
So yeah, the universe or higher being or whoever the fuck has it out for you. 
“Daddy,” Jennie moans out, louder than she probably intended that you had to get the fuck out of the tent and jump off a cliff and into the lake. 
“Fuck,” Your body’s conditioned to have a visceral response, that it starts to react to her mumblings. You feel hot as the blood rushes south, awakening your cock as her breaths get breathier. 
You nearly stumble out of the tent, the cool air hitting your lungs as you get your footing. You ignore the pit in your stomach, brushing away all thoughts of Jennie like that. You fucked up any chance to be with her the moment you showed up to your apartment with another woman. 
You let out a quiet groan before deciding that you might as well prepare breakfast. 
--
You avoid Jennie for most of the day. 
You couldn’t look her in the eye once she woke up after hearing her and whatever dream she had of you. It almost felt too personal to witness that, especially without her knowing.
It wasn’t easy though with Rosie and Lisa doing everything in their power to make sure you were paired off together. The thought of them scheming to get you back together crossed your mind, mainly because they both knew how you felt and if the chance ever arose, you’d do anything to be with Jennie again. It was a fleeting thought because hell would have to freeze over.
You could have been imagining things, but Jennie seemed to avoid you as well. She wouldn’t make eye contact with you when you spoke. She would give little to no response when you were part of a conversation. 
The day just started off weird, yet you still have this get-together with the people from a neighboring campsite after meeting them on the hike. 
Lisa wraps an arm around your neck, “Anyone catch your attention?” She asks loudly as you follow the rest of the girls. 
“No,” You scoff, rolling your eyes as you shake her hold off you. 
“It’s okay if there is, you know,” Lisa says as she falls in step with you. “Just make sure you do whatever activities at their campsite. I’m pretty sure that’s where Jennie-unnie draws the line.”
“He could do whatever the fuck he wants,” Jennie comments from in front of you. 
“Such a masochist, unnie,” Rosie drawls out. “Hearing an ex fool around would kill me.”
You’re about to tell both of them to knock it off, but Jennie’s faster, “He’s not going to fool around with anyone, right?” She stops in her tracks, causing you to bump into her, hand reflexively reaching out to steady her so she wouldn’t fall.
“Controlling,” Jisoo mutters, but everyone hears her loud and clear. 
It puts you on the spot because on one hand, you have nothing stopping you from doing anything, while on the other hand, you’re trying your best to at least get to the point where you could be friends with Jennie. 
“Right,” You concede, surprising yourself and the women around you. You quickly drop your hand, giving Jennie a tight smile as she stares at you.
Best behavior you think to yourself once the group starts walking again. 
--
Best behavior, as you so called it, applied to you. It didn’t, however, apply to others. 
You could not control the behaviors of other people, no matter how much you try. 
It’s been ‘nice’ hanging out with the girls from the nearby campsite. You use ‘nice’ loosely because it’s been hell for you having to balance the woman on your lap and the woman across the fire glaring at you everytime you look up. 
As soon as you sat down, one of the girls—Ryujin—beelined for you, taking most of your attention away from everyone else. 
Ryujin’s pretty. You have eyes, and you’d think most people would agree. She seemed shy when you met her on the hike, but something was different by the time you arrived. You chalked it up to the few empty soju bottles you saw that they had already started drinking. She was a lot more forward, throwing your whole best behavior self-talk down the drain. 
How she ended up in your lap? You have no idea. You tried to politely push her off, but you didn’t want to cause a scene. 
“Wanna hang out in my tent?” Ryujin whispers, the faint scent of alcohol lingering in her breath.
The implication was there. 
If it was any other situation where your ex-girlfriend wasn’t there, you would.
But said ex-girlfriend is there. 
From the corner of your eye, Jennie stands, whispering something in Rosie’s ear that has her standing as well. 
“I’ll walk back with you,” Your ears perk up. 
“It’s really fine, Chaengie. I’m just tired from today,” Jennie forces a smile, but you sensed something else was off. 
“Are you sure?” Which Jennie nods before bidding farewell to the others. 
Jennie, however, doesn’t say anything to you and leaves before you could ask if she was okay. 
“So…what do you say?” Ryujin’s voice tears your gaze away from Jennie’s retreating figure. 
“I’m sorry, I should go with her,” You gently tap at her shoulder, which she begrudgingly stands. 
It catches the attention of the others, prompting Lisa to ask what you’re doing when you fold the blanket, handing it to Ryujin. 
“I’m going,” You shrug as if it’s no big deal. You don’t miss the way Lisa and Rosie’s head tilt. Jisoo rolls her eyes while Alice just drinks, oblivious.  
“What a gentleman,” Yuna comments, her friends nodding in agreement. 
You tell the girls that it was nice meeting them, that maybe you’ll see them in Seoul because Lisa will definitely want to see them again. Ryujin gives you a longer-than-necessary hug, which Jisoo snickers because your friends know the exact reason why you’re leaving so abruptly. 
--
Jennie walks fast. 
For someone who’s one of the smallest in the group, she gained some distance from the campsite before you finally caught up. 
“Jennie,” You call out a couple meters away. She stops, but doesn’t turn around. It gives you enough time to meet her.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be? Like in Ryujin’s tent?” Her voice is cold, distant, detached even. It immediately takes you back to that night.
When you don’t respond, Jennie walks away. 
You won’t make the same mistake again and if it leaves you with a black eye, it is what it is.
You don’t let her get that far, reaching for her shoulder that she shrugs you off before turning around so fast that you almost lose your balance.
“Don’t touch me,” Jennie says sharply. 
“What the fuck is your problem?” You ask. She’s starting to actually piss you off. You’re sure that if you weren’t a bottle of soju in, you wouldn’t get this upset. You’d rather blame it on the alcohol than unresolved feelings. 
Jennie scoffs, rolling her eyes, “My problem? You’re seriously asking me what my problem is?”
“Did I fucking stutter?” 
Her next move has your cheek stinging. 
“Jennie, what the fuck,” You rub your face. She’s slapped you before, but there was actual force behind that one.
“You’re my fucking problem. To this fucking day, you’re still my fucking problem,” Jennie suddenly invades your space, chest against yours as she looks up at you. 
“I’m not even doing anything,” You sigh, dejected and tired. If there’s one thing you don’t want to do right now is to argue with her.
“You are. Just being around you is so fucking hard,” Loose fists hit your chest three times before she collapses into you. “Do you not understand how hard it is to watch some girl throw herself at you and you fucking entertain it?”
Her confession catches you off guard because you always wondered what she thought when you were around girls. You gently place your hands on her waist, and her body freezes. 
“Jen,” You say quietly. 
“No, I can’t do this,” Jennie’s out of your hold, walking away. 
It takes you a minute because there’s a lot for you to process, but you act quickly, following after her. 
Thankfully the fire you lit still burns bright, and you see Jennie’s near the tent. 
You call her name out before she could unzip the tent. When she doesn’t face you, you jog toward her, refusing to let this go. 
“Can you just talk to me? You’re getting mad at me for doing something I can’t control,” You almost reach for her again, but experience has taught you to tread lightly. 
“What’s there to talk about? We’re not together so if you want to fuck Ryujin, be my guest,” Jennie says lowly. 
“Did you want me to?” Your temper flares, words cutting right through you. “Did you want to hear me fuck someone? Rosie was right, you are a masochist.”
Jennie turns suddenly, her arm winding back but you’re quicker this time, grabbing her arm. 
“Let fucking go of me,” Jennie struggles in your grasp, but you’ve always been stronger. 
“No,” You pull her body flush against yours before wrapping an arm around her waist, securing her tightly. Her head falls back, eyes narrowing. “You’re being a fucking brat.” 
“And what’re you going to do about it?” You watch her expression darken, a look you haven’t seen in years. 
“This,” You slam your lips on hers, swallowing the gasp she lets out once your teeth meet. 
You feel everything. 
The way her arms try to break free from your hold. 
The way her hips fold, but can’t go anywhere. 
The way her breath hits you as you move your mouth, granting you access before her body relaxes. 
The way she presses herself against you. 
“This good enough?” You murmur in between kisses, her arms snaking around your neck as she melts into the kiss. 
“I’ve had better,” Jennie taunts, slightly panting as you gently bite her lip. 
“Then you don’t need me,” You move your tongue in her mouth swiftly before pulling away. 
“Wait, what’re you doing? Come back,” Jennie stands on her tiptoes as she tries to bring you back. 
“You said you had better,” Raising an eyebrow as you loosen your grip, but Jennie’s arms are ironclad around you. “So…” You shrug. 
“No no,” Jennie shakes her head, biting her lip as she stares at you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” 
“Off Jen,” You say simply and she complies, hands at her side has you stepping back. 
It’s a dynamic you’re familiar with. 
It’s toxic at the minimum. 
Degrading at its absolute worst. 
You and Jennie hardly argued. You could count on both hands the amount of blow ups you’ve had. It would get aggressive, but with what followed after, was so much better. It might not have been the healthiest way to deal with conflict, but you’d work through it—blissed out, hormones working in overdrive.
“Please,” Jennie says quietly. 
“Please what?” You cross your arms, gaze never breaking as you watch the internal war she’s having with herself. 
It’s a bit risky to do this right here, right now, but you’re hyper-aware of the effect she’s having on your body. If she responds the way you want her to, you’ll be sent into overdrive. 
“Please,” She shakes her head, eyes casting down. 
“Say it,” You gently cup her chin, tilting her head backwards as your lips ghost against hers, “Say it, princess.” 
Jennie lets out a moan, a breathy one at that before she says what you’ve missed so much. 
“Please, daddy.” 
“Good girl,” You kiss her sweetly this time, an almost tender kiss that has her sneaking a hand underneath your hoodie. “Ah, ah, did I say you could touch me?” 
Jennie’s head shakes, her lips never leaving only to say, “No.”
“If you want to get fucked, behave,” She immediately pulls her hand out from underneath, wrinkling your clothes as she waits in anticipation. You’re at the point of no return. 
She’s the only one that could bring this side out of you. 
“Yes sir,” Jennie says, voice shaking. 
Without a word, you let her go. You smirk at the whine she lets out. 
You unzip the tent and grab her hand, fingers interlaced before dragging her inside. You ask her to sit while you rearrange the sleeping bags. She offers to help, but you shake your head since it won’t take long. It helps that the sleeping bags are a matching set, allowing you to easily make one giant sleeping bag.
When you finish, it’s obvious that Jennie’s doubting this, the etch of concern on her face says it all. It forces you to switch into the side you’ve always been when it came to her because she was the most important, her comfort was your top priority—still is. 
“Jen,” You say softly, scooting over to her before stretching your legs around her. She looks up, and something scratches at your ribcage, “We don’t have to. Swear. We can forget this happened.”
Like you could. 
The thought of asking for a transfer abroad crosses your mind so you wouldn’t have to see her. 
“I couldn’t do that,” Her voice is quiet, the slight tremble you’d hear whenever she’d whisper her fears, on top of the pillow, head tucked under your chin. “It did happen. I don’t know what I’m doing.” 
“Jen-” She shakes her head. 
“I… Don’t laugh okay,” Jennie swings her legs around, crossing them as she takes your hands. “It’s just confusing right now. Yes, Tae broke up with me, but not for the reason you think. It’s actually stupid.” 
“Okay I won’t laugh, so shoot.”
Jennie starts playing with your fingers, tickling the skin that has your back shivering, as she tells you what happened. They were fooling around—you really didn’t want to hear that—and Tae asked her to call him daddy. She thought he was joking because she never got the impression he was into that. She described their sex life as vanilla, not that she minded. Her desires weren’t strong enough to make him do them, and she liked him enough to let that go.
The part that had your eyes open like saucers was when she said she wouldn’t. She opened her mouth to say it, but her voice got caught in her throat. She couldn’t say it, it felt wrong to. 
“Uh so what you’re saying is—”
“Shh,” Jennie pinches your palm, “I’m not finished.” 
Taehyung took offense when she shook her head. He stood, demanding why not. She really couldn’t think of a reason. She tried to play it off like she wasn’t into that, but he didn’t believe her. 
Then he brought you into the conversation. By his logic, you were the last boyfriend so it had to be because of you. You were also Jennie’s first serious relationship. 
She denied that because there was no reason as to why it would. They argued, going back and forth about why you were still in her life. It ended with him leaving her apartment, needing to cool off. 
There were a couple days in between before they spoke again. He had his clarity, realizing he overreacted and didn’t want to push her if that wasn’t something she was into. 
On her end, Jennie was confused. It struck something in her when he said that she never got over you. In the heat of the moment, she didn’t pay it any mind. As soon as he left, it came barreling back. 
She thought it was because he was jealous. He always sighed whenever she mentioned you’d be at the same events. He would be more affectionate whenever you were around. It didn’t cross her mind, but that was the only thing that made sense.
Then the idea of calling Taehyung, her current boyfriend, daddy has her stomach in knots. It didn’t feel right at the mental image of him and that word together. Her mind drifted to yours and she shot up from the bed when she she slipped her hand underneath her shorts. 
“So again, for my understanding, is that—”
“Shut the fuck up,” Jennie rolls her eyes, slapping your thigh.
When you chuckle, she glares. 
“Sorry sorry, continue.” 
Jennie couldn’t believe it. She had no way to explain the visceral response her body had at the thought of you. She admitted that she actively pushed down any thoughts of you as soon as you broke up, adding that no other guy ever made her feel the way you did. 
(That comment went straight to your head, which she must have seen the way your face lit up because she punched your inner thigh.)
When it was Jennie’s turn to speak, what she originally wanted to say was not what actually came out. She wanted to break up. In that short time apart, her attraction for him dipped and she didn’t want to be with him anymore. She called it a change of heart and that the relationship ran its course. He wasn’t expecting that, pleading that he’ll be better, but she was firm in her decision. 
She took the break-up as it was. She expected to be sad, which she was. She explains she gave herself time to think and process what she actually felt. It didn’t help that she saw you frequently, confusing her feelings. She wanted you, but at the same time, she didn’t think she could trust you. 
“Then, you fucking wrap your coat around me one night after dinner and when I asked you what the hell you were doing, you just shrugged, saying I looked cold,” You remember that night. She was running late and forgot to bring a jacket. She cursed you out in front of everyone, but you didn’t care. You were used to that. You did, however, care if she was cold. “And it was obvious you still cared about me.” 
“Well yeah,” You say pointedly. “Nothing physical happened between Chaewon and me. Yeah she might’ve been all over me, but I never kissed her.”
“But you would’ve, right? If I wasn’t there,” Jennie lets go of your hands. 
“I don’t know, probably,” You shrug. That night still haunts you, and it’s not the most pleasant thing for you to think about. She gives you a look, but doesn’t say anything else.
“So yeah, that’s why we broke up,” Jennie’s hands fold onto her lap.
“All I’m getting is that you belong to me,” You smirk as she rolls her eyes. You act as if you completely missed the point of the story. You didn’t, but it went straight to your cock finding out Jennie touched herself because of you. 
“I’m not your fucking property,” Jennie deadpans. 
“I’m not saying you are. What I am saying, however,” You scoot closer to her, moving her hands out of the way before reaching for her hips, easily lifting her on top of you, “Is that your body wants me.” 
“Not true,” Jennie’s voice shakes when your lips ghost along her neck. 
“We don’t have to decide what this is right now. You know, deep down, I want to be together. I was–still am–serious about marrying you, that hasn’t changed,” You press your lips underneath her jaw, head tilting back to give you more access,  “I’m sure you won’t make it easy for me.”
“Who said we’re getting back together?” Jennie sighs as her hands rest on your neck, hair threading through her fingers. 
“Me,” You murmur, sucking slightly on her skin. “So let me start now, okay?” 
“Fine,” You smile against her skin, tongue soothing the mark you know everyone will tease her if they see it. She tugs you off, a pout forming on your face, “Slow?” 
“Whatever you want, princess,” You tease, sucking in a breath when her body rolls, hands gripping her waist a little tighter. “Your call tonight.”
Jennie stares at you for a moment, and you don’t waver, keeping her gaze to show you’re serious. 
“Mine?” 
“Yours.” 
A double entendre.
Jennie slips her hands underneath your sweater, pulling it off you, exposing your bare torso, before bringing you in for a heated kiss. Your body quickly reacts, cock stiff as she grounds her hips over you. You’re fighting for dominance as your tongues wrestle, swallowing all the airy pants and gasps falling from her mouth. 
“Fuck,” You moan as she bites hard on your bottom lip. “I thought you wanted slow.” 
“You talk too much,” Jennie gets out in between kisses. 
“I thought you liked it when I talk,” You detach your lips, trailing them along her jawline. Sweet kisses have her body shivering. 
“I preferred it when your mouth did other things,” Jennie breathes out, head falling back as you nip on her skin. 
“Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it,” You say lowly as you continue your onslaught all over her neck. She’ll probably have to wear your hoodie to cover all the love bites, and she’ll definitely yell at you in the morning. 
You do not care. 
“You know what I want.”
You do, but you won’t make it this easy for her. 
“Probably,” Your hands guide her movement,  applying delicious friction over your sweats. It garners you a deep moan as she grabs your shoulders to steady herself. “But you know I like hearing you princess.”
Jennie loudly moans after a particularly hard suck, fingers pulling on your hair as her hips circle over you. She mumbles something that you can’t quite hear, sneaking a hand underneath her hoodie. Her body shivers at your touch. 
“What’d you say?” Thumb rubbing gentle circles over her back. 
“Fuck me.”
“Be more specific,” You taunt, the warmth emanating in between your bodies, and you just know she’s fucking soaked. 
“You’re being a fucking tease,” Jennie groans once your lips meet her collarbone, “We don’t have that much time.” 
She has a point. You’re not sure when the others will return, but Alice will make everyone leave if they get too much. 
“You know I can’t just fuck you,” You murmur, burying your face into her neck. “I don’t want to hurt you.” 
“You won’t,” Jennie whimpers, grinding herself over you, the ache in your cock has you groaning. “I can take you.”
“I have to stretch you out, princess.” Not that you’re bragging, but you know you’re well above the average. The amount of shock through the years said enough. 
Jennie shakes her head as her hips lift from her position. You whine, in an attempt to pull her back, but she stands, untying her sweats before it falls down her legs. 
Your mouth waters at the site of Jennie’s pussy right above you. The dim lighting of the tent lamp shines a slick dripping down her inner thighs. She’s absolutely gushing and it turns you on that it was all because of you. You quickly slip the waistband of your sweats down, freeing your cock. It slaps against your stomach, and you notice your tip weeping leaking. 
“You want my mouth, baby?” You stare up at her, uncaring as you lick your lips. You could almost taste her. Your hand encloses around your length, slowly stroking yourself as you imagine your face in between her legs. 
Jennie shakes her head once again, gently tilting your head back to give her a better view of you touching yourself, “Lay back.” 
You don’t hesitate. You follow her command, keeping a steady pace with your hand as you watch Jennie step over you, feet falling on the outsides of your legs. 
Jennie lowers herself, shutting the lights off and keeping her gaze on yours. You sharply inhale as the apex of her thighs get closer to your cock, increasing your movement that your forearm starts to burn. 
The moment her slick touches the tip of your cock, Jennie squeals, biting her lip to muffle the sound. You groan, dropping your hand as your length slides in between her lips. 
“Jen,” You pant, hands shooting to her hips to steady her, but it ends up dragging her wetness all over your cock. “I need to prep—”
“No, no,” Jennie’s eyes roll back as her hips rock over yours. “I can handle you. I’m so fucking wet for you. Let me, please daddy please.”
It’s like a switch went off as she moans, rolling her body in a wave as she rubs herself over you. 
“Princess,” The nickname has her mewling, hips stuttering as your cock hits her clit. “Tonight’s about you.” 
“I want your cock, daddy.” She falls forward, arms resting on your chest as her hair covers your face. She kisses your neck, heavy breaths, as her hips swirl. “It’s been so long. I need to be filled.” 
Her filthy words have you blindly thrusting up, brushing through her lower lips as she moans into your skin. 
“Good ahead, baby.” 
Jennie reaches her hand backwards, fingers delicately wrapping along your girth. You buck into her hand, groaning as she rubs it around her hole. Once she guides your tip into her entrance, her hips seductively roll down to take you in. 
You swear you see stars the moment her pussy wraps around the head, her walls squeezing you tightly. Her hands press hard into your chest, pushing her body upright as you watch her head fall back. When your eyes glance down, you groan at the sight of your cock in between her legs. 
“Daddy,” Jennie’s eyes open slowly, breaking your gaze to her eyes low, lust taking over as she lowers herself more. 
“Yes princess?” You suck in a breath as her slick drips down your cock.
“Tell me I’m good,” Jennie circles her hips, knees spreading slightly as her body adjusts to your size. “I’m being good right?” 
“Good girls take all of me,” You watch, hypnotized as she continues her movement, your length gradually disappearing more and more. Her body recoils before dropping even lower that your hands tightly grip her waist. 
“Daddy,” Her nails dig into your skin, hips shaking side to side. “Please, I’ll be good. Let me be good.” She trembles in your hold, walls accommodating your size. 
Your resolve’s slipping. Fast. 
With Jennie moaning and the sight of her struggling to take you in has your hands dropping. You mutter a fuck as the pressure around your cock increases tenfold, her body tensing as nails raking down your chest. The pain is short-lived as the warmth from her walls spurs you on, causing an involuntary thrust up as gravity pushes her down. 
“Holy shit, Jen.” Your eyes snap to see your length gone, fully sheathed inside her as her pussy tightens. 
Jennie freezes, hands gripping your sides, before letting out a filthy moan. 
“Daddy, am I being good?” She leans back, her hands on your knees before slowly rolling her hips up. 
“So fucking good,” You don’t recognize your voice, eyes locked on watching your cock appear in between her legs. 
“I missed you,” Her body shivers as she takes you in again. 
It’s a confession, something she’s been holding in for a while based on how she rides you slowly, intently, purposefully—to remind you just what you’ve been missing since. 
All you can do is moan because she feels too good wrapped around you, the overstimulation of her walls hugging your cock in the best kind of way. Sex has always felt good, but with her, it just feels like more.
Your hand slips underneath her hoodie, gently palming her breasts as she moves above you. She’s always been reactive to your touch, and you couldn’t forget the spots that always have her begging for more. 
“Such a good girl,” You watch her hips gyrate into figure eights, hypnotizing you as she mewls with every roll. Her walls tighten at the praise, her slick getting slicker. 
Jennie’s mouth is suddenly on your lips, attacking with such gusto as her pace increases. Her clit brushes against your public bone and you can feel her impending orgasm from her pussy’s death-like grip. 
If this is how you go, what a way to die.
Your hands find hers, interlacing your fingers together. She never breaks away, shoving her tongue into your mouth as she pants and moans like the good girl she is. She brings your arms overhead, hips grounding on top of yours. 
“I’m gonna cum daddy,” Jennie mumbles weakly against you, her hips stutter, pace erratic as she fucks herself all over your cock. 
You snap your waist upward, leaving no spot in between her walls untouched, and she loses it. She lets go of your hands, arms wrapping tightly around your neck as she holds on.
All you can focus on is getting her to cum because time is running out. You continue thrusting, hands easily finding her hips as you guide her movements, the sound of your bodies spurring you on. 
“Baby,” You grit out, hips erratically pounding up into her. The change in nickname meant you were close, too close that you might release inside of her. 
“Do it daddy,” Jennie raises her head slightly, eyes locked onto yours. “You know you want to,” She whispers, breath ghosting over your lips as her body slams against yours. 
“Princess wants me to cum inside her?” You breathe out, hands trailing down to cup her buttocks, massaging the flesh. 
“Yes,” Jennie whines, “Please.” 
You’re getting closer and closer, and it’s helping almost too well that Jennie mumbles the dirtiest things, too explicit that if it was anyone else, they’d run away. 
It’s you though, too turned on by her body and her words that as soon as the words breed me daddy fall from her lips you lose it. Your orgasm crashes through your body. You sit up as Jennie continues working herself over your cock, feeling you release, wailing, whimpering as it floods her. 
Jennie’s body seizes in your hold, back arching as her walls suddenly spasm around your length, prolonging your orgasm. You swear her pussy’s pulsing and your vision goes white, holding her  tightly against your chest as you rut into her. 
Her teeth sink into your shoulder, the pain adding to the pleasure, as she fails miserably to muffle her scream. You pray to whatever higher beings there are that the others aren’t on their way back yet because she’s loud.
You gasp for air as her chest heaves on top of yours. 
You weren’t expecting to have sex this weekend, let alone Jennie of all people. You’ve toned down on the nights with random women, something Rosie and Lisa commend you for. It wasn’t without question, which you were honest that you wanted to at least try to have another relationship. 
You rub soothingly over Jennie’s skin, body slightly shivering at the contact as goosebumps form underneath your touch.
“Hi,” Jennie mumbles against your neck, still a bit breathy as she catches her breath. 
“Hi yourself,” You squeeze the pliable muscle, molding against your hand. “You’re okay, right?” You’re concerned because you both went a little—a lot—rough on each other’s bodies. 
“Yes,” Jennie taps your nose playfully. “I forgot how big you were.”
The thing is, her position hasn’t changed. The comment goes straight to your head and your cock throbs, already overly sensitive, along Jennie’s warm, snug walls. 
Naturally, she feels it, letting out a surprised moan that has her burying her face back into your neck. 
“Sorry,” You breathe out, the only word you could properly form. 
“You’re such a guy,” Jennie chuckles. “Immediately reacting to hearing anything related to your dick size.” 
You apologize again, which she tells you it’s okay. Casually mentioning that you’re the biggest she’s ever had anyways. You lift her off you, hissing as your cock feels like it can breathe after suffocating inside Jennie. 
“Ass,” Jennie says simply, rolling off you to perfectly slot her head on your shoulder. 
Maybe it’s the hormones. Or maybe it’s the denial. 
Reality soon sets in as you just had sex with your ex-girlfriend. You even had the nerve to play into your favorite dynamic. 
“Jen-” Two fingers are on your lips. 
“Don’t ruin the moment,” Jennie says quietly. 
“But-” You try to say something, but the gentle press stops you. 
“I know we have to talk, but I’m sore and exhausted,” Jennie sighs. The crack of twigs and leaves alerts your brain. “We’ll talk. We obviously have to, but later okay?” Rosie’s singing something off tune, and it’s louder than it was a few moments ago.
“Okay,” Is all you can say, as her fingers trail along your jawline. It’s an intimate move, turning your head the slightest to feel the gentle pressure of Jennie’s lips against yours. 
--
You wake up alone in the tent, the sound of the girls laughing disrupts your sleep. You rub your eyes as soon as you walk out, the conversation falling quiet. 
“Good morning, oppa,” Alice greets as you yawn. 
You send a lazy wave, searching for a seat, which ironically was in between Jennie and Lisa. You notice Jennie’s wearing one of the sweaters you packed. You also notice how it’s zipped to the top, completely covering her neck. 
“You missed out last night,” Rosie picks up where the conversation left off. “We were just telling Jennie how Lisa unintentionally walked away with Lia’s phone number.” 
“I didn’t know she was into girls,” Lisa defends, shaking her head. 
“It’s okay,” Jisoo pats her on the head. “The one time you don’t try to get a girl’s number, you do. Take it for what it is.”
It earns you a chuckle as Alice hands you a plate, a grateful smile sent her way as you realize how hungry you are. 
“Well, at least I can take oppa with me,” Lisa shrugs. 
“Uh what? I’m not going to be some third wheel,” You say after taking a bite. 
“No, dumb dumb,” Rosie scoffs. “Ryujin. She was totally into you.” 
From the corner of your eye, Jennie’s body tenses. 
It goes unnoticed by the others, too engrossed with the conversation, but you’ve always been acutely aware of how Jennie feels. She acts cold and distant with most people, but it’s all part of a façade. It especially breaks down when it involves you. Everyone knew when she was upset with you because she wore it on her face. 
“Oh well-”
“You seemed pretty interested,” Alice comments behind her mug. 
“I was just being nice,” You weren’t interested to an extent. Under different circumstances, the probability of something happening was high. You cared more about how Jennie, and that paid off.  
“You’re always being nice,” Lisa raises her hands, both sets of index and middle fingers bending flexing twice. 
Jennie’s standing again, which you don’t understand why this woman can’t just sit still. You sense her irritation rolling in your direction. You internally sigh as her attitude, this early in the morning, was more a nuisance than anything. 
You don’t say anything when Jennie tells the group that she’s going to take a shower at the community center. For what it’s worth, it’s like a spa with private baths and showers the size of your tiny one-bedroom apartment. She hardly glances your way, but there’s something in your gut telling you to go with her. 
After you finish eating, of course. 
--
Your head snaps back, groaning as it hits the bathroom tile. You watch how Jennie’s eyes never leave yours and it’s taking everything in you not to cum right then and there. 
Her mouth is dangerous and she knows it. 
“Daddy,” Jennie sucks in a breath, keeping her hand wrapped tightly around your cock. “I have a question for you.” 
Her innocent expression pales in comparison to what her hand’s actually doing. She languidly strokes your cock. Too lost in the sensation that you almost don’t hear her question. 
“What?” You ask. 
“Are you going to go on a date with Ryujin?” Jennie asks, leaning ever so slight to run her tongue along your length.
It clicks why Jennie suddenly appeared in your private shower. There’s a somewhat strict policy about men and women showers, but when you heard a knock on your door, you weren’t expecting her to be on the other side. 
Jennie didn’t answer why she was there when you asked, but her dropping to her knees as soon as you shut the door, it was obvious she had a plan in mind. 
“Staking your claim on me already?” You quip, hand cupping her face. It’s not the smartest move to taunt her, especially with her hand wrapped around you. 
Jennie clicks her tongue, rolling her eyes, “Like there’s anything to claim.” 
“And if I do?” You trail your finger along her jawline, watching her eyes narrow in the process. “What’re you going to do about it?” 
The thing with Jennie, that she’ll deny to you and swear up and down to anyone else, is that she gets jealous. You learned that very quickly when you started dating. She wouldn’t say anything if a girl spoke to you, but afterwards when you were alone, she’d remind you that you were hers. 
She’s naturally possessive of you, and you reaped the benefits in some sick power play she’d try to carry out. 
“You won’t,” Jennie’s mouth wraps around your cock, her tongue doing things that need to be studied because it feels too good. 
“Why is that princess?” You ask as she takes you in deeper. 
Instead of answering, Jennie goes lower, your tip hitting the back of her throat. She fucking swallows around your cock and it has your muscles tensing. You have to make sure you don’t go too far, as much as you want to, because it’s still been a while. She repeats the movement, letting off the slightest before taking more of you in. She keeps her mouth tight around your girth, hollowing out her cheeks that has you feel lightheaded. 
“I bet Ryujin could take all of me,” You goad, watching as her pace increases, fucking your cock down her throat. “She could be my princess next.”
It’s a dirty move, but an empty threat. Jennie knows at her core that only she’s deemed worthy of that name. 
But it has the best results as she takes all of you. Her lips press against your pubic bone, staring up at you and it’s a beautiful sight to see your ex-girlfriend’s face stuffed with your cock. 
Jennie holds it for what feels like a lifetime before slowly bobbing her head up. “Don’t be a fucking ass.” 
“Then prove me wrong.”
(She does, exploding on her face a minute later.)
--
“You two are being weird,” Rosie comments as you grill the meat. 
“What?” You ask distractedly to make sure the bulgogi doesn’t burn unevenly. 
“You and Jennie.”
“What are you talking about?” You set the tongs down after flipping the pieces. 
“I can’t put my finger on it yet, but there’s something different about you two.” 
You don’t respond, feigning being busy by unwrapping the other meats. 
Sure, you had sex last night. And sure, Jennie made a mess of you in the showers, but you couldn’t exactly tell your friends that. Their reaction is something you’re not prepared for yet.
“But you two aren’t fighting right? I know that you were already reluctant about this whole trip, and the sleeping arrangements were a bust, but it isn’t as bad as you thought it would be, right?”
Definitely not is what you want to say, but you know Rosie wouldn’t let you get away with saying that. 
“No, not fighting. We’re making it work,” You answer vaguely. 
It is the last night of the trip, which thankfully the group decided on having a calmer night since you have to trek back to the city in the morning. 
“Good,” Rosie nods approvingly. “Hopefully everything will still be okay when we get back.” 
--
You have a nice buzz going as you settle in your sleeping bag. Jennie slips herself next to you, slotting a leg over yours before curling into your side. You smell the alcohol from her breath as she sighs contentedly. 
She’s a bit drunk compared to you, thanks to Lisa offering shots with dinner. She practically sat on your lap in front of everyone that it surprised you, but the others even more. Rosie gave you a pointed look, realizing that something did happen between you two, but thankfully doesn’t comment. 
“I want you,” Jennie murmurs against your neck, breathing warm air against your skin. It sends a shiver down your spine, but you know now is not the time. She drives a hard bargain to not take her right then and there when she says, “I’m so wet for you. Having you cum all over me earlier left me wanting more.”
“Princess not now,” You gulp, cock stirring at the words. “There’s people here.” 
“So? You don’t want them to hear how well you fuck me?” Jennie’s hand sneaks over your crotch, palming you gently. “They always wanted to know, but I wouldn’t say. I didn’t want them to know the things you’d do to me.” 
Your cock rises at the thought. She smiles against your neck, slipping a hand underneath your sweats as the contrast of her cold hand against your throbbing length has you suck in a breath. 
“Remember how I’d beg, offering my body to you to do whatever you want?” She whispers seductively. “I’d do it again. You know how much I love the stretch of you taking what’s yours. You know how much I love when you cum in me, on me, making a fucking mess of me.”
You clear your throat, trying to keep some semblance of control. You feel lightheaded at the thought of doing all those things to her. “Jen, you’re drunk.”
“So?” Jennie’s hand wraps around you, slowly stroking your cock. “Drunk or sober. It’s never stopped us before. Drunk sex was especially good. Remember when you fucked me in the ass? The only person to ever do that. I was fucking ruined after.” 
“Jesus fuck,” You grit out as her grip gets tighter. That night was fun. She let you have her however you wanted, and you’ve always had a thing for her sweet bottom. Those little cheeks made beautiful sounds as you pounded away. “Behave.” 
“Fine,” Jennie huffs, pulling her hand away. She places her hand on your chest, curling into you more. 
“I’ll make it up to you when we get back,” You offer, kissing her forehead. 
“Promise?” 
“Yes.”
One you very much intend to keep.
--
--
Jennie squirms in your hold, hips shaking, pussy quivering along your cock as you steady her. 
“Daddy come on,” She moans out, head falling on your sheets as she tries to get you to move. “You promised you’d make it up to me.” 
You did. You will. Just not right now. You’re just taking in the moment of her wrapped oh so tightly around you that you want to enjoy it before you absolutely ruin her. 
Jennie was over your place an hour after you dropped off the siblings. Rosie grilled you on what the hell happened, but you remained strong and did not say a word. She wouldn’t drop it, which annoyed you, but you knew you wouldn’t say anything unless you spoke with Jennie first. 
And you were actually able to have a somewhat productive conversation about what you were doing. She didn’t want to be made a fool again, which you swore nothing like would happen. You’re both older, more settled into your careers, that this—whatever this was—was more stable. She saw how much the break-up affected you, but ego got in the way to want to reconcile. You understood, the thought of her walking in with someone that wasn’t you, would’ve scarred you for life. 
“I’m not going to make it easy for you,” Jennie said, standing over you, pulling you up.
“I don’t expect anything less,” You whispered, a quiet promise made to whatever higher being there was that you were absolutely not going to fuck this up.
“Good,” And she dragged you towards your room. 
Jennie’s getting antsy, but the sight of your cock in between her legs is one you could never tire of. You wish your phone was nearby, capturing this to save for later. 
But you’ll do that later. 
“Daddy,” Jennie huffs, arching her back to get you deeper, but you press your body weight into her, keeping your cock snug within her walls. “You promised.” 
“I know princess,” You trail a hand down her spine, watching her body shiver from the contact. “You just look so good,” Her pussy tightens. 
“I’ll look better once you move,” Jennie gasps as you roll your hips. “Do you want me to beg? I will if that’s what’ll get you to fuck—”
You don’t let her finish her sentence, thrusting your hips deeper that her body jolts at the sudden movement. You lean forward, just enough to kiss the top of her head, hair pressed against your lips as you murmur, “Oh princess, you’ll be begging me to stop.” 
You stand up straight, slowly pulling your hips back, and watch, entranced, as your cock slides out. It’s slick from Jennie, and you’ve never seen anything hotter. You let out a sigh as you feel her contract around the tip. She moans and something snaps inside you that you suddenly thrust back in. 
Jennie squeals at the pressure, letting out a filthy moan that has you groaning. Your body moves on its own accord, slowly pumping your cock in and out of her pussy that has you seeing stars. 
“You’re so fucking big,” Jennie moans, pants, as she starts to babble nonsense as her walls accommodate to your girth. “I need it daddy. I’ve been so fucking wet.”
Her walls rhythmically squeeze every time you bottom out. It doesn’t stop you. It makes you chase the feeling, an addiction that you wouldn’t mind having. 
You lose yourself in her body, watching her bite her lip and lose her breath as she grabs onto the sheets. Hearing your name fall from her lips wakes something up in you.The sounds she makes drive you to thrust into her, and when you hit a certain spot inside, she demands you don’t stop. You don’t break rhythm as she squirms. You grab her hips, letting out groans of your own as you feel your orgasm coming. 
Her hands grip the sheet, wrinkling the fabric as your pace quickens, hitting every single nerve inside her has your body on fire. She lets you fuck her at whatever pace you want. Slow then fast then grind before it has her hips meeting yours perfectly in sync. 
“Fucking hell, princess,” You groan, ceasing your movement as you watch Jennie’s hips roll and grind on your cock, finding every which angle to take you. “You’re being so fucking good. Are you trying to make me cum?” 
“Yes, yes, yes,” Jennie chants like a prayer, turning her head so her cheek rests against the fabric. “I want it. Cum in me daddy, breed me like the good girl I am.” 
You’re close to the point of no return, especially with the way her pussy contracts at every thrust. She’s doing everything to suck you in and it’s working. You plant your foot on the edge of your bed, increasing your tempo tenfold as the sound of skin hitting gets louder. You’re fucking into her, nailing her onto your bed as her knees slide, opening her up as you jack hammer through her walls. 
“Oh shit, baby,” The nickname falls from her lips, “Baby, I’m going to fucking cum.”
It was a short warning because after three thrusts, Jennie’s body tenses, back wildly arching as her pussy tightens, knocking the wind out of you. Your body falls on top of hers, hips erratically snapping before you meet your end. 
Jennie growls, pushing her hips up into yours to take everything you have to offer. She does a nasty move by humping back onto your cock, short small thrusts that have you pushing your cum deeper inside her pussy. 
“More, daddy,” She keeps moving, hips never ceasing. Her words of I want you to ruin me keeps you hard.
With a sudden burst of energy, you push yourself up, pulling out of her. You ignore the small whine she lets out, flipping her body over. She’s almost too responsive with your touch by the way she spreads her legs wide, knees falling open. 
You grab your cock, aiming your tip at her opening before flicking the head on top of her clit. She mewls, eyes rolling back. You can’t wait anymore. In one swift movement, your cock enters her without warning. Her eyes shoot back to yours, letting out a scream as you pound into her.
Your hands perch on her knees, holding her open as her tits bounce with every thrust. One hand sneaks in between, rapidly rubbing her clit that her eyes shoot open wide. 
“Baby,” Her voice comes out hoarse. “I-It’s too much.”
Jennie’s all fucked out, hands gripping your forearms as her legs flail out. You’re hardly paying her any attention, too focused on your cock splitting her open. 
“Your pussy’s too good,” You don’t care how crass it sounds. Your thoughts are wild right now, and you can’t help but say all of them out loud. “I can’t get enough. How the hell did you keep this from me? I missed this.”
“I missed you,” Jennie says affectionately, scratching lightly. 
“God, keep squeezing me like that princess,” You’re thrusting wildly, applying more pressure on her clit as you rub. 
Her orgasm catches both of you off guard, her eyes widening as she screams, her walls forcing you out before a sudden gush of liquid sprays your cock. You react fast, forcing your way through your walls as the hot, tight feeling has you hitting your peak again. 
You’re greedy though so once you start to release, you pull out, quickly jerking your shaft as ropes of cum shoot out. You aim for her quivering pussy, before painting her stomach. White droplets spraying over her skin has you easing your cock back inside for a moment. Her walls milk whatever’s left before you collapse next to her. 
You’re trying to catch your breath that you don’t even feel her move, but your cock’s suddenly enveloped by something warm and wet that your head snaps back. Your hand easily threads through her hair, guiding her gently as she licks around and over your cock. 
“Princess,” You pant, the stimulation being too much even for you. “What’re you doing?” 
“Cleaning up the mess on daddy’s cock,” Jennie answers simply, tongue lapping your tip. 
Once Jennie’s satisfied, she pecks the top of your cock, humming to herself before kissing your stomach. She crawls above you, swinging a leg over your body before resting her head in the crook of your neck. 
“I’m still horny,” Jennie whines, kissing underneath your jaw. 
“Jennie,” You sigh, bone dead as your thumb gently rubs her inner thigh. 
“This is your fault, you know,” Jennie says out of the blue. 
“What did I do?” 
“If you didn’t know how to fuck me, I wouldn’t be in this position,” Jennie mumbles shyly. 
“Well, I’m sorry?” You offer, even though you’re not. 
“Whatever,” Jennie huffs as your eyes close. “I’m still not going out with you.”
“I haven’t even asked yet.” 
“You’re going to, and my answer will be no,” Jennie states matter-of-factly. 
You roll your eyes, chuckling, “I’m sure it will be, but I could probably get a yes sooner if I withhold sex��ow!” 
Jennie pinches you. 
“Don’t you dare.” 
“You’re so demanding.” 
“Yeah, well,” Jennie pushes herself up, face in front of yours, “You’ll have no choice but to deal with it.”
Deal. 
--
--
--
(kinda left it at where there could be a prequel and/or sequel, but meh, we'll see.
serious thanks to everyone who read and enjoyed my previous stories. i'll see ya in the next one, whenever that may be.)
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tatoasting · 2 years
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BAABYY. POUROVERTELL ME ARE WE CONCREETE WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT MY PERFECT COMP ANY TO YOUR UNDRESSED SPIINE?
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emithecharmer · 11 months
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Husband!SKZ Reacting to you telling them you're pregnant
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Severe baby fever while watching them with babies- so here's for all of the stays that want to be moms one day :)
Tw: Sex talk (duh, she's pregnant), Changbin wants to have sex with his wife (but they don't), fluff, some hurt/comfort
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Christopher Bang
Chris and you had always talked about having a family, he made it perfectly clear when you two started dating that he wanted to be a father. You had always wanted to be a mom, learning empathy and compassion from your own mother, you'd always had a very strong motherly instinct, which is how you just knew. You had always heard of women who just knew they were pregnant but you'd always just thought that it was a myth, until you felt it. You were walking down the feminine hygiene isle, about to pick up a box of tampons when your mind immediately just said 'you don't need them.' It was like a switch had flipped and your brain chemistry was altered. So instead you walked a bit more and grabbed a pregnancy test.
Now, you and Chris has also talked about how if you suspected a pregnancy, that you would tell him, and he would stay with you and watch the test together. But that was easier said than done, as you as you got home..you choked up.
"Hey baby," He leaned forward and kissed your lips sweetly, "how was the store? Thank you for going by the way, I'm sorry I got held back at the studio later than expected." He explained, going and unloading some of the groceries.
"It's okay, it was um..interesting."
"What do you-" He stopped his sentence and that was when you noticed what bag he was going through. He turned toward you, eyes wide and in disbelief.
"Are you-? When did you.. When did we-?"
"I don't know, but I- Today in the store, I had the strongest feeling about it! And I remember you told me your mom just knew and I just- I feel like I am Chris." He practically tore open the box with excitement.
"Can you take it, please baby, take it!" You nodded and you two walked to the bathroom together.
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"How long does it take to pee on a stick?" You heard Chris whine from outside.
"I have performance anxiety!" You whined back, getting frustrated.
Finally you finished the test and washed your hands before letting your, impatient, husband in.
"Hey.." He sounded serious now, making you look at him. He grabbed your hands before deciding to bring you in for a tight hug instead.
"No matter what the test says, we have to agree to take time for the two of us, I don't want us growing apart at all, okay? If we have a baby..it's going to make us stronger okay? And if we don't just yet, we'll try whenever we're ready okay?" You smiled, pulling away and nodding, brushing a small hair that had fallen into his face and glancing at the test.
"Chris.." He looked at the test and you felt you heart clench at the way his eyes sparkled when he turned back to you.
"Thank you.." He whispered, bringing you in for a passionate kiss.
Lee Minho || Lee Know
"Min, what do you think of having kids soon?" You asked, making your husband turn around and raise a brow.
"Why would we have a baby when we already have three?" He asked, smiling when Soonie walked by and brushed against his leg.
"Ah, yeah." You said half-heartedly.
"..I'm also super busy, you know with our new come back and everything that we have planned- I wouldn't get to be there." He explained, trying to give you a better reason.
"Mm, no that makes sense." He smiled at your answer and turned back to cooking, missing the way you brought your hand to your stomach and the way that tears gathered in your eyes.
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Three months flew by without suspicion, you never drank or smoked to begin with, so Minho thought nothing of it, that was, until you started to experience the horrible morning sickness.
You first woke up at 3 am, rushing to the bathroom and heaving into the toilet, you were trying to be quiet before remembering that your husband has chosen to stay at the dorms that night. After you were finished you shakily stood up and brushed your teeth. When you stood up from bending over, you noticed it, Minho's t-shirt tried its best, but there was no doubt, you had a bump. You had a baby bump and when you saw it you collapsed on the floor at the realization that you were hiding your child from your husband. You sobbed on the floor, not hearing the door open and Minho call out your name. You only noticed when he entered the bathroom with his jaw slack and a look of confusion on his face.
"W-What happened? What's wrong baby?" He asked, immediately going to bring you into his arms, lifting you up and taking you to your shared bed. You didn't know if it was from pure exhaustion of the hormones, or if you were just tired of keeping it a secret, but you just blurted it out to him.
"I'm- I'm pregnant Minho. I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!" His heart broke as you wailed your apologies, he hadn't realized that he'd come across not wanting children.
"Y/n- you- Oh God, please don't be sorry, precious." He whispered, pulling you in for a hug and rubbing your back.
"I hid it from you though.." You whimpered as he shook his head.
"No, no, that was my fault, you should have never felt that you couldn't tell me anything, especially this..You're- We're going to have a baby." His smile was even wider than it was on your wedding day as he brought you in for a kiss and then peppered kisses all of your face before he tilted your head up so he could kiss behind your ear.
"Thank you, so much, honey" He whispered as he squeezed your hands.
Seo Changbin
"Changbin!" You screamed, running to your husband whom you hadn't seen for almost 3 months.
"Y/n." He said, closing his eyes as you two hugged, he wanted to breathe you in for this moment. They were on tour and you'd decided to come and join them.
"I missed you." You said, smiling as he pulled away and grabbed you two suitcases, showing you where the elevator was.
"I missed you too, baby. I can't wait to show you the hotel room, it's insane!" You chuckled at his excitement.
"And we can go see the boys in a little bit too, if you're not too tired." He offered as the door opened and you two stepped out.
"Mm, I'm not tired, I actually slept for most of the flight, so I think I'll be okay." He smirked as he entered the key into the door and opened it.
"Not tired?" He asked, making you shake your head as you looked around the room.
"It is pretty here, I like the-" You we're cut off by your husband, who brought you in for a long-overdue kiss. You felt his arm wrap around you back, caressing your spine before reaching for your shirt.
"Mm, I should warn you, the doctor said that intercourse while pregnant is okay, as long as it's vanilla." You informed him.
"Huh?" You giggled at his reaction, staying quiet as he wracked his brain for a few seconds before his eyes widened.
"But that would mean-"
"Right before you left, yeah." He frowned.
"I left you.." He said.
"Neither of us knew, and I only found out when I saw..this." You lifted your shirt to show him your stomach, which now sported a small bump.
Your husband dropped to his knees and cradled your bump so soft that it almost tickled before he looked back up at you, tears in his eyes. He stood back up, bringing you in for a deep kiss, never once letting his hand fall from your stomach.
Hwang Hyunjin
"Jinnie." You smiled at your husband as he sketched the landscape in front of you. He hummed, looking down at you as you laid on the blanket you two had laid out.
"You'll never guess who's pregnant." You said.
"..You?" He asked warily, making you sputter a laugh.
"No, my sister in law." You said, giggling at Hyunjin's sigh of relief.
"What, you don't want to have a baby with me?" You pouted in a joking manner.
"What- No! No, I do! I do, I want to have like 10 babies with you-"
"Woah bro, slow your roll." He cackled at the hand you held out to him as a sign to stop and the look of utter horror on your face.
"Just not right now, I'd want to be there, not caught up in schedules." You nodded and hummed.
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'Pregnant' You had to have read it wrong.
'Pregnant'
'Pregnant'
'Pregnant' Okay one faulty test, but four? You sighed and held your head in your palms as you tried to figure out how to tell your husband.
"No time like the present." You told yourself, grabbing the four tests and unlocking the door and walking into your guest room, which was more of an art room now.
"Hey, love, you okay? You were in there for a while." Hyunjin asked as he put down his brush and turning to you.
"What are those?" he asked, pointing to your hand.
"They're-.." You took a shaky breath before continuing, "They're pregnancy tests..and they're positive." You tried to decipher the look on his face as he stood up and came to you, holding out his hand, which you put a test into. He looked at the screen, 'pregnant,' for a few seconds before he looked back to you, that's when you noticed he was about to cry.
"Aw, Jinnie." You cooed, opening your arms to comfort him.
"You're pregnant.." He said.
"Mhm."
"You- You're going to have a baby. And we'll be parents." You nodded again, chuckling at your husband.
"You're going to be the best mom." He said, eyes watering a bit.
"And you're going to be an amazing dad, Jinnie."
"Power couple." He winked, a tear falling as he did, making you two giggle.
Han Jisung
You'd gone shopping right away after you read the positive result on the small screen. Jisung had always told you that he wanted kids, and being his wife, you knew he'd make a great dad. After finding out that you were expecting, you knew you had to make telling him special. You went to the store and bought a, blank white, newborn onesie and some fabric paint, painting in small words 'STAY' on the front and 'HAN' on the back. You put the onesie and the test at the bottom of a small box before filling it with other mementos you'd collected since the two of you had started dating.
"Jagi! I'm home, and I got us some sushi!" You heard your husband announce his arrival and quickly shut the box, making sure it was ready.
"In the kitchen!" You said, smiling when your husband's face popped out from behind the wall.
"You somehow get prettier every time I see you." He said, setting down the food and kissing the tip of your nose and nuzzling into your neck, hugging you close.
"Mm, missed you." He cooed at you, pulling away to kiss you properly, cupping your cheek softly.
"I have something for you." You said giggling as you pulled away, snickering at the slight pout he momentarily had.
"Ooh!" He accepted the box from your hands, setting it down to open it.
"Woww, this is from our first date! And is this in Japan?" You nodded as he increasingly got more excited.
"That's me at your first Stray Kids concert,- wow am I hot or what?" You giggled as he kept digging. You held your breath as he picked up a set of keys that you two had kept after locking your locks on the bridge, and then picked up your wedding photo.
"You look stunning in this photo. What was this all for, baby?" He asked, kissing you again.
"There's more, babe." You smiled, pointing down at the box.
"Oh, oops!" He looked back into the box, freezing when he saw what was inside. He picked up the onesie, setting it on the counter, before picking up the test. He turned back to you, taking one look at your face, making sure it wasn't a joke, before hugging you.
"I love you," kiss, "I love you," kiss, "and I love you." He said, poking your belly softly.
"I love you." Jisung said, kissing your forehead.
"I love you more, Ji."
Lee Felix
"Practice is kicking my butt." Felix groaned, flopping onto your bed and sighing as he felt the plushness under him.
"New comeback?" You asked softly and he nodded.
"Yeah, just- need something good you know? Not that you aren't good, baby." You smiled, setting your book down and leaning down to brush his hair with your fingers. He sighed at the feeling, he'd missed your presence for a few weeks, being so held up in schedules, he'd decided he'd go back to his old dorm for the time being, just so he wouldn't disrupt your sleep schedule, you being a nurse and all.
"Can you kiss me?" He asked.
"Course, bub." You said, choosing to move up, letting him scoot up as well and sit between your legs. He leaned forward, kissing your lips and the down your neck, and then back to your lips. A few minutes later he noticed that you weren't as into it as you usually were, so he stopped.
"You okay, pretty girl?" He asked, rubbing your hip.
"I'm a little tired.." He pouted, kissing your cheek before leaning over and turning off the lamp. The moonlight outside still illuminated the room, coming through the curtains and giving the room a soft glow.
"You should've said something, baby, we can sleep."
"It's okay, really, I think it's just the pregnancy hormones, my sex drive will fluctuate a lot through pregnancy."
"Ahh, yeah that makes sense." He said, laying down with you and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer to him.
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"Wait what." He said a few minutes later, making you burst into laughter.
"It took you that long?" You asked, watching him reach over and turn the lamp back on.
"You're pregnant? Like with a baby? Our baby, like one that we made?" You blinked at him.
"..I'm going to say yes?" He started to cry as he pulled you up to hug you, muttering thank you's and I love you's as he rubbed your back softly.
Kim Seungmin
Right when he gets home, you were going to tell him, right when he walks in, there was no stopping you.
"I just want today to be over, can no one do anything right?" Nevermind. You said to yourself as you heard the door slam and your husband walked in, slinging his coat onto the back of a chair before he took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry..I shouldn't bring work in with me, I'm sorry baby." He apologized, walking up to hug you in greeting.
"Hi Minnie." You said, nuzzling into his chest.
"You should just come in with me, just hearing your voice makes everything better." He said as he ran his fingers through your hair, kissing the top of your head every few seconds.
"Happy to be of service." You giggled, looking up at your husband, all of whose tension was released upon seeing you.
"I have to use the bathroom." He said, pulling away, making you chuckle.
"Okay, I'll start on dinner."
"Thank you, baby, I'll help you when I'm out." He promised.
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"..Babe?" You turned around to see your husband holding something.
"Is this- Are you pregnant?" He asked, looking up at you, seeing your reaction, he knew you were.
"Ah- I was supposed to tell you when you came home- I kinda chickened out.." You looking down at the floor.
"Oh my gosh..Baby- Babe- Y/n- We're going to be parents." He smiled, walking over to you.
"Yeah, we are." He lifted you onto the counter, making sure you didn't hit anything before he kissed your softly, lifting his hands to your stomach and rubbing it softly.
Yang Jeongin (I.N)
"Innieeee!" You called as you knocked on Chan's studio door. Jeongin was with Chan and Jisung today going over some lyrics, but he'd texted you to come over for lunch so he could see you.
"Come in, it's only me." He said but opening the door anyway.
"Ooh, what'd you bring?" He asked.
"Cookies, but we have to eat lunch first, I brought subway." He gasped, holding out his hands as you handed him the bag.
"Thank you, love." He said coyly, kissing your cheek quickly.
"I got you two since you started working out again." You said, making him flush.
"Ah, you didn't have to." He said.
"But you wouldn't have been full if I hadn't, hm?" He nodded shyly. Despite you two being together for around two years, you still had your shy moments.
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"Mkay, cookie time, gimme gimme." He said, throwing his trash into the empty bag. Chan and Jisung were back and their eyes lit up.
"Cookies?" Jisung asked with wide eyes.
"Jisung." Chan shoved his arm, making Jisung sit up straight.
"Sorry." You laughed.
"You can have some too, I got a batch."
Jeongin opened the box and shut it immediately, not even letting the boys see the cookies. As fate would have it, the rest of the boys arrived at the door, wanting to say bye before heading home, but now they were confused in the scene.
"You're a liar. You're literally lying." Jeongin accused, tears in his eyes.
"Innie, what happened?" Chan asked, trying to figure out what was happening.
"Uh-uh, I went to the doctor today to confirm." You said. Jeongin sniffled loudly as he stood up and walked to you, quite literally falling to his knees to hug you.
"So..Is everything good?" Hyunjin asked as he stood awkwardly outside the door. Jisung, the impatient man he was, had opened the cookie box and gasped, pointing at you.
"She's pregnant!" Chaos followed after the revelation that their youngest member was on the road to fatherhood.
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wileys-russo · 28 days
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maternal instinct (3) II a.russo
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part (1) part (2)
maternal instinct (3) II a.russo
"-and you're sure you're ready? you're still fine with this? i can still tell them i'm not going less!" you promised, hovering by the front door as alessia grinned.
"i promise i am fine. bell and i are gonna have a great weekend! aren't we cheeky?" the blonde hoisted your daughter up and onto her hip who nodded eagerly.
"no rules!" bella cheered pumping her fist making you crack a smile and alessia let out a laugh. "big feets rules, there will be no running wild this weekend missy!" alessia warned tickling your daughter who squealed and kicked her feet
"you need to leave soon or else you'll get caught up in traffic." alessia warned softly as you nodded with a sigh, leaning in and kissing all over your daughters face in goodbye who giggled.
"i need to use the toilet please." bella announced suddenly as alessia chuckled and placed her down on her feet as she raced off. "try to unclench this weekend yeah? we'll be fine here babe, please enjoy yourself." alessia promised as you nodded, hitting her softly with a roll of your eyes.
"i'll miss you though." alessia admitted as you melted, almost unpacking your suitcase then and there as you smiled softly. "i'll miss bella a lot." you teased, the striker pinching you with a click of her tongue.
"i'll miss you too lessi." you promised with a smile, one hand on her cheek as you leaned in and kissed her softly, alessia chasing after your lips for a few more sweet pecks until tiny footsteps thundered back and you both hastily stepped away.
bella wasted no time tugging on alessia's jumper with her arms up as the striker scooped her up again with ease. "what happened to being a big girl who didn't need to be carried everywhere!" you teased the five year old poking at her stomach as she only grinned.
"big feet is stronger than you mummy, she doesn't say i'm too heavy." bella quipped cheekily as you gasped in offence. "i've never said you're too heavy!" you tickled her again as she pushed away your hands and leaned her head on the blondes shoulder.
you'd be lying to yourself if you said alessia didn't look ridiculously attractive with bella held effortlessly on her hip, soft smile on her face and bright blue eyes twinkling as they glanced down to bella and then right back to you.
you'd gone over the plan for the weekend with her easily a hundred times, alessia nothing but patient recognizing this was a massive deal not just for her but for you as well.
though she might not have been a mother herself she could understand trusting your childs life and well being in the hands of someone else wasn't something to be taken lightly, so every step of the way she knew to let you take the lead.
leading up to it bella had spent monday night with alessia at her house for a trial run sleepover, comforted by the fact you were only next door should anything have happened but it went as good as it could have.
after that you were finally coming around, and with a few kisses and promises from alessia to take the upmost care you agreed that she could watch bella for the weekend.
alessia was going to stay with bella at your apartment for the weekend given everything was already there and set up.
saturday bella had a birthday party to go to and they'd have the day after together since alessia didn't have training, and sunday the footballer had a game around lunch time so you'd meet them at meadow park for the swap back.
"you need to get going but we'll see you sunday. you know where to meet me yeah?" alessia checked and gently pushed as you nodded.
"group hug!" bella clapped as both you and the striker laughed, alessia's free arm wrapping around your shoulders and drawing you in as a strange feeling settled in your stomach at the interaction.
knowing if the two walked you down to your car you'd struggle even more to leave you waved them goodbye at the door, bella's head watching you go right until you stepped into the elevator and alessia laughed as the five year old wriggled out of her arms and ducked through her legs to go back inside.
"right its just you and me now cheeky, what should we do first?"
~
alessia was smiling softly at bella who was sat on the carpet in front of her, harvey held tightly in her grip as the pair watched a disney movie and sang along, bella teasing the older girl for having a bad singing voice before alessia chased her around until she got tired and they sat back down to watch.
the blonde wasn't far off getting a start on dinner, everything already prepped and ready to make some homemade pizza's for the two of them having promised bella awhile ago to teach her how to make the dough.
but what alessia hadn't expected was to hear a series of loud bangs and knocks and her name called out from outside, bella far too invested in bouncing along humming to the movie to take much notice.
"i'll be back in just a minute yeah bell?" alessia promised as the five year old nodded, eyes still locked on the television as she hugged harvey to her chest and alessia pushed up to her feet, hurrying to the door.
pulling it open her head popped out and a frown cemented into her features seeing a familiar blonde thumping on her door with her fist.
"leah?" alessia questioned as the shorter girl spun around in shock. "less? wait don't you live here? i swear you lived here...i helped you move in!" leah frowned in confusion as alessia rolled her eyes.
"yeah this is my neighbors place. what are you doing here?" the striker questioned as leah stepped closer. "united play arsenal tonight in the mens and nobodies around to watch with me, thought you might be up for a bit of friendly rivarly!" leah grinned wolfishly with a wiggle of her eyebrows.
"i can't tonight leah, you should have called." alessia warned, glancing over her shoulder to check on bella who'd moved to occupy the spot alessia had left on the sofa, harvey still cuddled to her chest.
"oh my god kyra was right. you do have a secret girlfriend!" leah's eyes widened as alessia stepped a little more out of the door and shushed her.
"no. i don't! kyra's just a little shit with a big mouth." the blonde rolled her eyes but it did nothing to dispel the now confident smirk plastered on her national captains face.
though before leah could say a single word another body was squeezing through alessia's legs, bella popping out as leah jumped in surprise and stared down in bewilderment to the five year old clinging to her teammate.
"well hello." leah laughed in surprise as alessia sighed, one hand moving to rest protectively on the top of bella's head. "i'm babysitting this weekend leah, like i said you should have called." the italian warned as bella huffed.
"you said this wasn't babysitting cause i'm not a baby!" the five year old scowled up at her as alessia softened with a smile. "i did say that didn't I, sorry bell. we're hanging out together this weekend aren't we? so i am busy, sorry lee." she apologized to the blonde who ignored her and squatted down.
"i'm leah." the girl introduced holding out her hand as bella shook it with a beaming smile. "isabella but everyone calls me bella or a headache!" your daughter parroted as alessia winced and leah let out a pelt of laughter.
"can your friend leah hang out with us please? we can make her a pizza!" bella asked eagerly forever the little social butterfly as leahs ears perked up at the word and alessia sighed knowing she'd pretty much lost at this point.
"i have to check with your mum bells. can you go keep harvey company watching the movie while i give her a call please?" alessia asked as bella nodded, hugging her leg tightly for a moment before racing back inside.
"cute kid." leah smiled standing up again as alessia hummed and rummaged around in her pocket.
"go wait inside, i'll come speak to you in a second." she handed over the keys to her own apartment as leah saluted and turned around, letting herself in as alessia returned to your apartment.
checking on bella and topping up her water she stepped away to call you, fishing her phone out of her hoodie and exhaling before clicking on your contact and holding it up to her ear, peering around the doorway every minute or so to keep an eye on bella.
"less? is everything okay? is bella alright?" your voice sounded after only two rings, chatter in the background and due to the message you'd sent alessia an hour or so ago she knew you'd safely arrived to your hotel.
"yes everything is fine and bella is completely okay." the blonde was quick to promise hearing you give a sigh of relief. "miss me already then?" your tone was lighter and it made alessia smile as she poked her head around and checked on your daughter again.
"you wish. but no i was just calling to ask something?" alessia started as you hummed in encouragement. "look i promise i didn't ask her over or invite her in any sense but one of my friends came looking for me wanting to watch the football tonight-" alessia started as guilt flooded her body.
"-and i poked my head out to check what was going on and i tried to get her to leave but then bella popped out and introduced herself and invited leah over for dinner. but of course i'm not going to just invite someone you don't know into your home without your knowledge and-" you smiled at the nervous ramblings, stepping in to cut her off.
"less? take a breath for me please love." you laughed as alessia exhaled shakily.
"of course its okay if your friend wants to stay for dinner and the football. i really appreciate you checking in though, but i trust you yeah?" alessia's heart skipped a beat at those words, cheeks warming a little.
"are you sure? cause really she has an awful habit of inviting herself over places and she can't cook to save her life so she's always just mooching for a free feed and-" again the striker started to ramble as you chuckled.
"less?" you started as she stopped. "yeah i'm taking a breath." the footballer exhaled making you laugh and shake your head, waving off your friends who gave you a curious look and held up your untouched drink.
"if bella gives you any trouble about going to bed or wants me to say goodnight later just give me a call." you assured softly as alessia promised she would, the two of you exchanging a few more words before the blonde left you to enjoy your time away.
"what did mummy say? does she miss me?" bella asked standing to her feet on the couch with a hopeful look. "very very much." bella squealed happily as alessia grabbed her and tossed her in the air before settling her on her hip.
"you're sure you don't mind if leah comes over? i was enjoying us hanging out!" alessia checked in headed for the door as bella shook her head patting her on the shoulder.
"we have all weekend big feet."
~
"as if thats offside, ref are you blind!" leah shouted as alessia all but sprinted into the living room near tackling her friend to the couch. "shut up leah! five year old asleep like ten feet away?" alessia hissed as leah paled and mumbled out an apology.
despite your assurance it was fine alessia didn't want to bring leah into your own apartment given you didn't know her, feeling that was a little invasive. so packing up what bella would need for the night she'd joined leah back at her own place, cooking pizza's for all three of you.
much to alessia's amusement and annoyance bella and leah had rapidly become friends, even ganging up on her time and time again all evening much to the taller blondes sense of betrayal at the fact.
but with leah's games tiring bella out after dinner the girl fell dead asleep on the lounge despite begging alessia to stay up for an extra hour. so it was easy enough for the striker to carry her off and tuck her in to sleep in her own bed, having been sending you updates throughout the night.
"she's a cool kid." leah smiled settling back down after her yelling and being told off, alessia joining her on the sofa as the older blonde lowered the volume, the game a couple of minutes away from half time.
"she is." alessia agreed with a soft smile down at her phone, chuckling at a few photos you'd sent her of your own evening and heart reacting, not sending a response since she wanted you to enjoy your night now bella was down for the count.
"awfully smiley there less. safe to say her mums cool too then?" leah smiled knowingly, sipping on a can of pepsi max with a raised eyebrow. "okay! i'm just saying. it would be nice if you're happy, and you seem happy." leah pushed after the younger girl sent her a glare.
"i am happy. thats all you get!" alessia pushed her shoulder as leah hummed, and there was a few minutes of silence before the striker sighed. "okay fine." she gave in as leah pumped her first happily and set down her drink.
and so alessia for the first time opened up to someone about everything to do with you. her feelings, the complications, her patience, her worries, your fears, bella, all of it.
"-so you see why its a huge deal for her to trust me with isabella this weekend." the taller girl finished as leah nodded, having been listening on intently. "do you want advice or just someone to listen?" leah asked softly, not wanting to push anything too far as alessia waved for her to continue.
"okay. well it sounds like you're doing everything right less, letting her set the pace, being respectful of her time and her needs, doing things her way especially with a kid in the picture." leah started as alessia gave a nod.
"but have you thought this through? properly? dating someone with a child, that comes with a lot of responsibility less. you're only twenty five and you've got a huge career ahead of you. privacy is one thing but, have you thought about what would happen if you both started seeing each other and people started posting pictures of bella? of her? sending her messages or finding her social medias. has she thought about that?" leah asked, though not unkindly as alessia frowned.
"i am by no means trying to scare you off, or say that you're not ready or you shouldn't try something with her. but just...maybe have that conversation with her as well. so she's completely aware of what she's getting into as well as you! communication and honesty is the foundation, if you want to build something together make sure it starts strong yeah?" leah smiled as alessia relaxed a little, cogs still ticking over in her mind but nodding.
"and even with all that, make sure she does know you're still interested. that all the complications and the risks, they don't mean you're not open to starting something with her. because like i said before less you do seem very happy, and happiness looks good on you." leah squeezed her knee as again alessia nodded.
"thanks lee." the striker smiled appreciatively, having a lot to think over now as leah waved it off. "anytime. now, time to watch my boys smash yours!" leah grinned as alessia snickered with a shake of her head.
"your boys are down 2-0." "we can comeback! we're the arsenal!"
~
"-and i will meet you right here afterwards. okay? i promise." alessia assured, squatted down and fixing bella's necklace as the girl nodded. "okay!" she chirped, flinging herself at alessia and almost sending her falling over as her arms wrapped around her neck.
"bye big feet!" alessia grinned as bella kissed her cheek and detached, sprinting off to meet her friends at the indoor super playground where the party was being held.
but what alessia didn't expect was what greeted her when she returned.
"are you here for bella?" alessia had barely walked back in the door before an unfamiliar woman stopped her. "yeah, is everything okay? is she hurt? sick? did she have a fall?" alessia began to panic as all the possibilities swamped her head.
"no no! she's physically fine, not a scratch on her." the woman quickly assured as alessia gave her an odd look. "okay." the striker nodded slowly, awaiting a further explanation as her eyes roamed unable to find bella anywhere.
"we noticed one of the boys was scratching his head a lot, he was wearing a beanie and he gave it to bella and a couple of the other girls. they were playing some sort of game and whoever was in had to wear the beanie-" the woman started as alessia nodded along, starting to piece things together.
"-turns out the boy has head lice. so bella and the other girls-" alessia winced as her fears were confirmed. "have head lice." the blonde sighed as the woman nodded apologetically.
"as soon as we noticed we took them aside from the other kids but that was only around ten minutes ago, we haven't noticed much itching from the girls but she's going to need to do a treatments. just to be safe!" the woman encouraged, leading alessia around the corner as the girl exhaled in relief finally able to see bella.
"big feet!" the five year old lit up, jumping out of her seat and racing over as alessia braced and bella hugged her leg tightly. "i'll leave you to it, and i'm sorry again." the woman smilied apologetically as alessia assured it was fine.
feeling a tug on her jumper alessia winced seeing bella hold her hands up expectantly. "not today bell, my arms a bit sore. can you walk like a big girl? we can race to the door?" alessia challenged as bella nodded eagerly.
"go!" the five year old raced off as alessia chuckled and jogged after her, groaning in mock defeat as bella cheered beating her to the door, taking alessia's out stretched hand as they walked across the lot to her car.
"is your head itchy bell?" alessia asked noticing the small blonde scratch at her scalp. "yeah." the girl nodded in confirmation as alessia bit her bottom lip and they arrived to the car, head ticking over in thought.
something clicking she hurried around to the back, popping her boot and rummaging through before she pulled it out with a small sigh of relief. "hey wanna play a game?" the blonde challenged as bella nodded eagerly.
"we're gonna play...space ship." alessia decided suddenly, unlocking her car. "so. you wear this, this is your very special super astronaut helmet!" alessia tugged down the black adidas beanie over her head in an attempt to keep the lice from spreading through her car potentially.
"then this, this is your space ship." she picked the girl up and settled her into the booster seat in the back, something both you and her had taken a good hour and a half to transfer over from your car to alessia's before you'd left, both of you refusing to admit defeat.
"and this...this is your steering stick that you use to drive the space ship!" she buckled bella in and grabbed an empty water bottle off the floor, tucking it between her legs.
"cool! thanks big feet." bella beamed, making driving noises with her mouth as she wiggled the bottle around and around mumbling things to herself. sighing in relief alessia closed the door, making her way around to her own side and settling into the drivers seat.
this was not how she'd planned her saturday to go.
~
after a frantic google search and ignoring the urge to call her own mum, unsure quite how she'd explain this scenario, alessia had stopped off at the shops to gather supplies.
now back at your apartment she had bella in the bath and with the girl distracted by the large assortment of toys she'd insisted take a bath with her alessia nervously clicked dial on your contact.
she knew you were at the ceremony today, but still after a few rings you stepped away and clicked answer. "less? is everything okay?" you asked, plugging one ear with your finger and hurrying away from the reception where the music was pumping.
"um, so don't panic!" your stomach dropped at her words, panic immediately flooding your body. "alessia that is like the worst way to get me not to panic!" you snapped with a scowl, alessia biting down on her lip with a wince.
"is it bella? is she hurt? i just need to grab my shoes and i can be in the car in-" you started as alessia quickly cut you off. "no no no! she's okay, completely fine. well not completely fine but she's not hurt or sad or-" alessia began to ramble as you massaged your temple.
"less! the point? find it please." you warned as the footballer stopped. "right! sorry. um so bella went to that party today, i hung around at the cafe down the road like you said, and i was ten minutes early to pick her up." the blonde started to explain.
"but one of the boys there had lice and they were playing some sort of game and sharing a beanie and well...bella has head lice." alessia bit her lip nervous for your reaction, met only by silence which she scrambled to fill.
"but i went to the store and i bought the shampoo treatment. she's in the bath and i combed through her whole hair, i picked out anything i saw and followed the treatment instructions step by step. she has a shower cap on and we're about to take it off and rinse the treatment out in about four minutes-" alessia quickly checked the time on her watch.
"-i stripped all the bedding, put it on a warm wash and i even tossed harvey and a few of her other stuffed animals in once i checked they were wash safe. i bought this spray thats supposed to kill anything on fabric? then i did your lounge and the cushions and my car and the mattresses for good measure." alessia continued ticking things off on her finger.
"i bagged up all the clothes she's worn all weekend and i'll wash them once the sheets are done. i'll do a treatment for myself tonight once she's in bed and then you just have to do a follow up one tomorrow night for her with the conditioner just to be safe." alessia finished, finally taking a breath.
"okay." you smiled, stress bleeding out of your body now she'd finished her little speech. "okay? thats it?" alessia frowned, putting the phone between her ear and shoulder as the timer went off and she rolled her sleeves up.
"okay. you clearly have it handled less, you did everything i would have done and maybe a little more." you chuckled with a grin as alessia visibly crumpled in relief you weren't upset, tugging the shower cap off bella's head as she pushed around a little boat and made engine noises.
"i trust you, okay? i wouldn't have left bella with you if i didn't. so now i need you to start to trust yourself." you warned softly as alessia paused, smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "okay. how's the wedding?" alessia switched topic as you grinned watching the bride and groom be put up on shoulders and carried around the room.
"just starting to get wild. its going to be a long night!" you laughed with a shake of your head. "but i'm not drinking, so if you need anything you can call me." you promised as alessia frowned, carefully tilting bella's head back and pouring a glass of water over her hair.
"why? the whole point of you going was for you to have fun with your friends! bell and i will be completely fine, right cheeky?" you put the phone on speaker, using your free hands to gently massage out the shampoo treatment.
"hi mummy!" bella chirped, kicking her feet with a splash. "hi babe, you having a good weekend?" you greeted as bella nodded.
"uh huh, last night we made pizza and less's friend taught me a new game and i got to sleepover at less's house! then today i went to layla's party and it was so fun and i had two pieces of cake! then big foot and me played space ship and now we're playing deep sea divers and we're getting chinese food for dinner cause big foot always carb loads before she plays football." bella explained excitedly making you laugh and alessia blush a little.
"that sounds really really great bell, save a fortune cookie for me and i'll see you tomorrow, okay? i miss you!" you smiled softly. "okay. miss you too!" bella grinned as alessia wiped her hands on a towel and grabbed the phone again.
"please have a drink babe, have a dance, enjoy yourself. we'll see you tomorrow." alessia requested firmly as you merely hummed, starting to walk back toward the reception.
"and hey, i miss you too." alessia murmured quietly causing your cheeks to heat up. "i miss you, maybe we can all go for dinner tomorrow after your game? all three of us." you suggested, the words leaving your mouth before you could stop them, alessia's entire face brightening at the suggestion.
"yeah? i'd really like that."
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