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felixescellun · 3 years

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a brief-ish analysis of how Felix’s route isn’t third wheely. (analysis)

a brief-ish analysis of how Felix’s route isn’t third wheely.

a few notes: im not saying it *isnt* third wheely or that you cant feel that way. the beauty of LL is that it leaves much room for interpretation, and this is a case of that. this is my personal take.

summary: in short, the way i see it Rime reaches for Felix more than Felix reaches back. Felix reaches for MC instead of Rime, who doesn’t want to accept that Felix seems to have moved on. However, there are instances that do point to Felix still caring for Rime.

Before talking about why i dont read it as a third wheel situation, we need to acknowledge that it can be read as the opposite and its valid to do so.

some points in favor of a third wheel situation is knowing the history Felix and Rime share. They loved each other, and Rime died for Felix—that is no small measure of love. In the aftermath of Rime’s death, Felix was hellbent on bringing him back—he devoted five years of his life to it. He was still very upset when MC appeared instead of Rime. He cared a lot for Rime.

In Ch 5, Felix is indeed reaching for Rime, trying to apologize and fix things. He wants this to be Rime—his Rime. Also in Ch 5 however, Felix says that Rime isn’t the same as he was.

In Ch 6, Felix says he has to kill Rime, as it’s his fault he’s like this. Felix feels a lot of guilt and shows to fixate on finding Rime in that moment & later as a motivation to break out of Blackthorn, but other than that we don’t see this come up often.

When Rime appears in Escell’s office, Felix is shocked, however we quickly learn this is mainly due to Rime’s collusion with the LoS, however it can also be read as Felix missing Rime.

If we take a look at what Felix says while at Blackthorn with MC, he tells MC he isn’t replacing Rime with them, and in Ch 5 he says that the Rime they see isn’t the man Felix knew/loved. Felix makes it very clear that his Rime would not be working with the LoS, threatening MC, or even his father.

To me Felix’s route doesn’t feel third wheely due to this; Felix’s assurances go a long way, since his actions prove his words true.

Felix does at first try to get through to Rime, but as soon as MC’s life is in danger, his main focus is their safety. Yes, he does try to send them away—but this is very subjective, as he had tried to due the same in Ch 4 at Blackthorn, again, to protect MC.

When Sage brings up Rime, Felix keeps his answers short and vague, mostly due to embarrassment. This is very subjective on how it can be read. Later, they briefly talk about Rime again, but only in context of whether Felix can save MC or not. The next time Rime is brought up is when Felix says he has to kill him to fix things—a brief exchange that neither dwell on. When Rime is brought up over dinner, it is not Felix who mentions him, but Scylla. Felix ends the conversation quickly. When they see Rime in Escell’s office later, Felix is quiet once more, but later reveals how shocked he was to see Rime, further cementing Rime’s change in character.

So far every instance of Rime being brought up is met with limited response or Felix saying how different he is, making clear he was not this way five years ago. Felix makes clear again and again that he does not recognize Rime, and that he cares for MC a great deal.

After freeing Escell, MC and Felix are separated. If the player doesn’t play the paid scene, Felix and Rime are the only ones in sight (alongside Escell). Felix’s first question is “where is MC”. This proves how much he prioritizes them. If the player does the paid scene, he says “get away from them”, then checks MC for injuries before addressing Rime.

When Felix and MC watch the memory of Rime’s death in the void, Felix is hurt, but makes clear that things have changed and the feelings he once had for Rime are no longer there. When MC is waking up from resurrection, Felix is looking at them, and talks and behaves as if Rime isn’t even in the room. this further proves his love for MC.

All in all, there are equal amounts of scenes in favor of Felix still caring for Rime as there are ones in favor of Felix having moved on. However, Felix also spent 5 years refusing to accept Rime’s death, and thus has only now begun to process it. That makes talking about Rime difficult, since he’s not exactly who Felix loved, but he isn’t dead either.

Felix also has been initiating more with MC, taking more steps to cement their relationship. This shows his decision—if he was still attached to Rime romantically, he would be even more hesitant and shy than before.

On a more meta level: Felix’s route is about acceptance and moving on, as well as a theme of freedom of choice. Narratively, it makes little sense for Felix to want to go back to Rime when until now he’s made moves towards moving forward rather than going back to how things were.

TL;DR: there is no right or wrong answer here. Both sides are valid feelings. Felix’s route is about moving forward, which he has been doing with MC.

#fictif #last legacy #fictif last legacy #LL crit #LL analysis #character analysis #pls dont attack me #im willing to hear out both sides but pls #im not meaning to attack anyone

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wolveria · 3 years

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Inside Your Wires - Ch 7

Pairing: Human!Connor x Android!Reader

Series Warnings (18+ only): Eventual smut, slow burn, fantasy bigotry, violence, brief noncon elements, angst with a happy ending

Chapter Summary: You try to smooth relations between you and Detective Anderson, made difficult when the human wants nothing to do with you.

AO3

Story banner by @uh-kitty-got-wet

You allowed the glass door to swing quietly shut behind you, smoothing your tie as you followed at a polite distance on the detective’s heels. The hunch of his shoulders was interpreted by your social module as a sign of discomfort and tension.

You were given several options on how to approach the human, even one suggesting taking several minutes before engaging him in conversation, but your mission prompt wouldn’t allow you to have that flexibility.

[EARN DET. ANDERSON’S TRUST]

Standing directly next to his desk, you appraised the human’s belongings, noting all of the items you had scanned upon your arrival. The human had an assortment of items, including an ancient mp3 player [Zune, manufactured 2008], a work cell phone, a bonsai tree [Japanese maple, dying], and several personal photos printed out and taped to his display board.

They were of different places and at different times, going by the various types of clothing, but they consisted of mostly the same subjects. Three men wearing nearly identical faces that only android software could differentiate between, and an older man catalogued as Captain Hank Anderson. He was marked as the adoptive father of the triplets.

Even though you had done it several times before, you scanned the detective’s features. His identifying information displayed on your HUD, further settling in your memory banks each time you did it.

DET. ANDERSON, CONNOR

Born: 08/15/2008 // Police Detective

Criminal record: [Sealed Juvenile Records]

You blinked and the identifying information disappeared, leaving you to fully observe the detective where he sat, hunched over his terminal with a scowl on his face.

“I know the situation is not ideal,” you began in your most diplomatic tone, “but I look forward to working with a law enforcement officer of your caliber."

The human gave no indication he heard you, but his heart rate increased by a small percentage, and his fingers pressed down on his flat keyboard in a way that was counteractive to typing.

You were prompted with more dialogue options, and once again went with the friendliest approach.

“It seems we will be working together for some time, so perhaps it would be beneficial to get to know one another.”

The human remained reticent, glaring at the terminal screen as if it were angering him personally. The detective also narrowed his eyes, indicating an intense dislike, but remained silent on the state of his emotions.

Your gaze drifted down to the empty mug of coffee next to the withering bonsai tree.

[ESTABLISH RAPPORT WITH DET. ANDERSON]

“What are you doing?”

You tilted your head, freezing your motor functions when the question was asked, putting you in the position of half-bending over the detective’s desk. You had blocked his terminal with your body as you attempted to reach his coffee cup, and he now stared at you from inches away with a wide, startled expression.

“Sorry, Detective. I thought you might like a refill.”

You had received a helpful notification that caffeine withdrawal can result in headache and irritation, both of which you had identified in the detective’s tense expression.

“Okay, fine, could you just—“ He released a puff of air, fluttering the loose lock of hair that strategically fell to the side of your face. “—hurry up so you’re not in my goddamn lap?”

You weren’t in his lap, or even in the relative vicinity of his groin. It would have been more accurate to say you were closest to his face and hands, the latter of which had been rapidly retracted when the front of your chassis had brushed against them.

You also noted the rise in temperature of his skin, the pink hue across his cheeks, and the dilation of his pupils—all indications of arousal and attraction. These were common occurrences with your model design, and you dismissed the pop-up that asked if you wished to run the sexual subroutine. Such programs were low priority and only used as a last result if the detective were uncooperative with the investigation.

“Sorry, Detective,” you repeated, forming your lips into the approximation of a warm smile. “I’ll return shortly.”

You carefully picked up the mug and moved into a standing position, and the detective released a long exhale, avoiding meeting your eye as he turned back to his terminal.

Satisfied in your endeavor, you crossed the short distance to the station breakroom.

Two humans resided inside, leaning against an elevated circular table as they spoke. Both turned their heads to stare, and you took the opportunity to scan them.

CPL. LEE, HELEN

Born: 05/19/2005 // Police Corporal

Criminal record: None

LT. ANDERSON, COLIN

Born: 08/15/2008 // Police Lieutenant

Criminal record: [Expunged Juvenile Records]

You blinked away the notifications and gave them a non-threatening smile before turning to the coffee machine. It was a large unit, meant for offices with frequent foot traffic, and a brief scan indicated it was overdue for a cleaning.

You weighed the negatives against the benefits of obtaining a beverage from this machine, and determined it was worth the possible contamination risk.

Placing the mug underneath the drip dispenser, you pushed the appropriate buttons after determining the detective’s preferred blend with a quick swipe of your fingers to the interior of the cup and placing them on your tongue.

There was a noise from behind, a slight huff of air and the soft pad of rubber soles against linoleum. One pair vacated the breakroom, and the other approached and stopped at your back.

“Connor done having his temper tantrum yet?”

You turned to face the lieutenant, examining his features and finding open curiosity. He stayed a polite distance away, unlike earlier, when he had stood so close that you had been forced to take a seat at the detective’s desk.

You wondered now if you should have tolerated the lieutenant’s close proximity, since occupying the detective’s chair had seemed to upset him.

“Must be bad if he’s already sent you to fetch his coffee,” he added with a nod to the mug sitting on the drainage tray. “Usually, he waits a day or two before terrorizing the rookies.”

“I volunteered,” you hurried to say, not wanting a ranking officer to get the wrong idea about the detective. “I believe it will be an appropriate icebreaker for our new partnership.”

“That so? Pretty sophisticated for an android, and terribly hopeful.” He canted his head to the side. “You got some kind of human instruction manual inside that processor of yours?”

The lieutenant dropped his gaze down your body, lingering in a way it had done many times before. The evidence of his attraction was even more obvious than the detective’s, but your sexual subroutines had never been activated by his interest before. You were assigned to Det. Anderson’s charge, and therefore, it would serve no purpose to offer your additional features to the lieutenant.

“In essence,” you answered, passive but friendly enough not to antagonize. “My human relations program assists in easing the interaction between CyberLife androids and humans.”

“I see.”

He moved closer, face neutral but his eyes highly observant. He reached out and took your tie, tugging it upwards. The tie clip stopped him from lifting it far, but the lieutenant seemed satisfied with letting the fabric run through his fingers.

“What else can your human relations program do?”

The tone of his question was easy enough to decipher, your program indicating the query was of a sexual nature.

“I’m afraid I can’t answer that, Lieutenant,” you said. “Only Detective Anderson has access to my specialized subroutines.”

The fingers threading your tie went still. The open curiosity vanished from the lieutenant’s face, replaced by a calculating appraisal.

“Well, then. My brother’s a lucky guy.”

His lips pulled into a languid smile that didn’t match the tightness around his eyes.

You carefully pulled your tie from his lax fingers, once again giving him a non-threatening expression.

“The coffee’s done brewing. I must get back to the detective now.”

Turning back to the coffee machine, you kept a significant number of your processors focused on the sound of Lt. Anderson’s heartbeat and breathing, even sampling the micro sensors on your skin.

He remained at a close distance, though by the time you turned around with mug in hand, all you could see of him was his retreating back as he went around the corner down the hallway. From your downloaded schematics of the building, you knew the most likely route he was taking was either to the unisex bathrooms or the station gym.

Your statistical readouts stated the chance the lieutenant would try to engage in sexual activity with you at some point was at approximately 35.2%, and you tasked your processors with running the probability in the background. It was important that erratic human behavior didn’t interfere with your investigation.

“Have a nice chat with my brother?” the detective asked, tone flat as he stared at his monitor.

You filed away possible tension between the two siblings to observe further. You placed the mug next to his keyboard, this time on the side nearest you so you would not lean over and agitate the human again.

“It was informative,” you simply said, straightening into a standing position once more.

The detective gave a huff through his nose and muttered, “I’ll bet.” His eyes narrowed, and after seven seconds of glaring at his terminal, he locked on your face in irritation.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes,” you said, letting a friendly smile appear. “I would like to know where I can access the DPD’s database. I wish to review the case files.”

The skin around the human’s nose crinkled. He seemed to hold some kind of internal conflict before he sighed and indicated the desk connected with his own.

“Belonged to my last partner. You can use it. For now.” He emphasized the words, as if you had possibly forgotten the temporary nature of your partnership.

“Thank you,” you said with a small nod. The detective rolled his eyes and turned back to his terminal, seemingly already having forgotten you.

You knew he hadn’t. Every observant sensor of your body informed you of his continued wariness, even while his eyes were mostly focused on the glass screen in front of him, he was constantly tuned to your presence.

By the time you had sat down in the chair of the empty desk, you had already pulled up in the DPD database to discover what had become of the detective’s last partner.

Sheila Pernell, also a detective, had transferred to another precinct months earlier, citing the difficult nature of working with Anderson and his unpleasant personality. The language she had used had been colorful and extremely unprofessional.

You made another note in your background processes: Detective Connor Anderson displays hostility toward work partners and colleagues. Difficult to connect with others on an interpersonal level. Approach and adapt to antisocial tendencies as needed.

You turned toward the terminal and placed the fingers of your right hand on the keyboard, allowing your synthetic skin to pull make to interface with the device. Connecting to the network and pulling up the cases assigned to Det. Anderson, you downloaded all 243 into your memory bank.

Hoping to prompt a conversation with the detective, you turned toward him from your chair, slightly tilting your head as you analyzed his tense posture. It hadn’t relaxed at all within the past two minutes since your last interaction.

“There are two hundred and forty-three cases dating back to February of this year, many of them originating in Detroit. An AX400 abducted a young girl from her home last night. I thought that might be a good place to start. It’s flagged as the most urgent case due to it being a crime against a minor.”

Your social module had indicated bringing up the danger to a child would have prompted some kind of response, but the detective remained fixedly silent, leaning the side of his jaw against his propped knuckles.

A more drastic approach was needed. You stood, walked around the joined desk, and approached the detective as he made a noise and turned away.

Coming to a stop directly next to his chair, you adopted the understanding demeanor, hoping to placate the detective’s agitation.

“I understand this isn’t an ideal situation, Detective, but perhaps it would be best to set aside your personal issues, and—“

“Excuse me?” the detective snapped, glaring at you out of the side of his eye. “Were you just about to suggest how I do my job? Because if so, I advise you to shut the hell up. You’re not my boss, and you’re definitely not my partner, so perhaps it would be best if you fucked off and didn’t come back.”

He turned away again and picked up his tablet as he pretended you were no longer standing there.

You plucked the device out of his hand, ignored the surprised noise he made, and placed your other palm between his shoulder blades to establish a physical connection he couldn’t ignore.

“I’m investigating these cases whether you like it or not, Detective.” You leaned closer, speaking directly next to his ear so as not to be overheard. “If you continue to refuse to cooperate, then I’ll find someone else who will be more amenable to my presence.”

For the span of two seconds, the detective remained completely frozen. And then he abruptly stood, grabbed you by the jacket, and swung you around. Your back slammed against the glass partition with a solid thud.

“I’m only going to say this once,” he growled, inches from your face. “I don’t care how many Barbie dolls CyberLife sends to the station. If you keep mouthing off to me, I’ll shoot you myself and throw you in the dumpster. Am I understood?”

“Perfectly,” you calmly answered, which served to only agitate the detective further.

His brows creased as his hands tightened around the edges of your jacket. The human was stronger than his wiry frame gave him credit for as he managed to hold you between himself and the glass, your toes brushing the ground but unable to find purchase.

You remained silent, returning his glare with a bland, pleasant expression despite the discomfort traveling your circuits. If the detective was going to continue to be a problem, you would need to report his behavior, and that might further delay the investigation.

Trying to adapt to his psychology was proving fruitless, and it was clear you had underestimated just how socially challenged he was. Perhaps seeking a new partner was the right course of action after all.

Elijah had stated that if the detective became too much of an issue, his brother would be a suitable replacement. But when you thought of the lieutenant, the idea of working with the human was…

Unpleasant.

You studied the human’s face, searching those dark brown eyes, but found no acceptance there. You were going to have to work harder to—

“Detective, uh… sorry to bother you…”

At the sound of the timid voice, the detective released your jacket and allowed you to stand on firm ground. He didn’t turn to look at the officer standing behind him, however, and continued to level a glare at you, effectively penning you in so you couldn’t step around him.

“What is it, Ralph.”

“It’s about the AX400? The one who kidnapped the little girl? Someone just called in on the APB, said they saw it in the Ravendale district.” He paused, wide hazel eyes darting between you and the detective’s rigid back. “If you need me to bring this to the lieutenant—“

“I’ll handle it,” he said, the heated glare finally pulled off you when he turned and walked away.

Adjusting your jacket of its newly acquired wrinkles, you took a moment to process the detective’s unstable and problematic behavior, and quickly followed before the detective left the station without you.

Next Chapter

#human!connor x reader #connor x reader #connor x android!reader #human!connor x android!reader #reverse au #dbh #my writing #my fanfiction

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paenling · 3 years

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no ones saying you cant enjoy daniil? people like him as a character but mostly Because he’s an asshole and he’s interesting. the racism and themes of colonization in patho are so blatant

nobody said “by order of Law you are forbidden from enjoying daniil dankovsky in any capacity”, but they did say “if you like daniil dankovsky you are abnormal, problematic, and you should be ashamed of yourself”, so i’d call that an implicit discouragement at the least. not very kind.

regardless, he is a very interesting asshole and we love to make fun of him! but i do not plan to stop seeing his character in an empathetic light when appropriate to do so. we’re all terribly human.

regarding “the racism and themes of colonization in patho”, we’ve gotta have a sit-down for this one because it’s long and difficult. tl;dr here.

i’ve written myself all back and forth and in every direction trying to properly pin down the way i feel about this in a way that is both logically coherent and emotionally honest, but it’s not really working. i debated even responding at all, but i do feel like there are some things worth saying so i’m just going to write a bunch of words, pick a god, and pray it makes some modicum of sense.

the short version: pathologic 2 is a flawed masterwork which i love deeply, but its attempts to be esoteric and challenging have in some ways backfired when it comes to topical discussions such as those surrounding race, which the first game didn’t give its due diligence, and the second game attempted with incomplete success despite its best efforts.

the issue is that when you have a game that is so niche and has these “elevated themes” and draws from all this kind of academic highbrow source material -- the fandom is small, but the fandom consists of people who want to analyze, pathologize, and dissect things as much as possible. so let’s do that.

first: what exactly is racist or colonialist in pathologic? i’m legitimately asking. people at home: by what mechanism does pathologic-the-game inflict racist harm on real people? the fact that the Kin are aesthetically and linguistically inspired by the real-world Buryat people (& adjacent groups) is a potential red flag, but as far as i can tell there’s never any value judgement made about either the fictionalized Kin or the real-world Buryat. the fictional culture is esoteric to the player -- intended to be that way, in fact -- but that’s not an inherently bad thing. it’s a closed practice and they’re minding their business.

does it run the risk of being insensitive with sufficiently aggressive readings? absolutely, but i don’t think that’s racist by itself. they’re just portrayed as a society of human beings (and some magical ones, if you like) that has flaws and incongruences just as the Town does. it’s not idealizing or infantilizing these people, but by no means does it go out of its way to villainize them either. there is no malice in this depiction of the Kin.

is it the fact that characters within both pathologic 1 & 2 are racist? that the player can choose to say racist things when inhabiting those characters? no, because pathologic-the-game doesn’t endorse those things. they’re throwaway characterization lines for assholes. acknowledging that racism exists does not make a media racist. see more here.

however, i find it’s very important to take a moment and divorce the racial discussions in a game like pathologic 2 from the very specific experiences of irl western (particularly american) racism. it’s understandable for such a large chunk of the english-speaking audience to read it that way; it makes sense, but that doesn’t mean it’s correct. although it acknowledges the relevant history to some extent, on account of being set in 1915, pathologic 2 is not intended to be a commentary about race, and especially not current events, and especially especially not current events in america. it’s therefore unfair, in my opinion, to attempt to diagnose it with any concrete ideology or apply its messages to an american racial paradigm.

it definitely still deals with race, but it always, to me, seemed to come back around the exploitation of race as an ultimately arbitrary division of human beings, and the story always strove to be about human beings far more than it was ever about race. does it approach this topic perfectly? no, but it’s clearly making an effort. should we be aware of where it fails to do right by the topic? yes, definitely, but we should also be charitable in our interpretations of what the writers were actually aiming for, rather than reactionarily deeming them unacceptable and leaving it at that. do we really think the writers for pathologic 2 sat down and said “we’re going to go out of our way to be horrible racists today”? i don’t.

IPL’s writing team is a talented lot, and dybowski as lead writer has the kinds of big ideas that elevate a game to a work of art, particularly because he’s not afraid to get personal. on that front, some discussion is inescapable as pathologic 2 deals in a lot of racial and cultural strife, because it’s clearly something near to the his heart, but as i understand it was never really meant to be a narrative “about” race, at least not exclusively so, and especially not in the same sense as the issue is understood by the average American gamer. society isn't a monolith and the contexts are gonna change massively between different cultures who have had, historically, much different relationships with these concepts.

these themes are “so blatant” in pathologic 2 because clearly, on some level, IPL wanted to start a discussion. I think it’s obvious that they wanted to make the audience uncomfortable with the choices they were faced with and the characters they had to inhabit -- invoke a little ostranenie, as it were, and force an emotional breaking point. in the end the game started a conversation and i think that’s something that was done in earnest, despite its moments of obvious clumsiness.

regarding colonialism, this is another thing that the game is just Not About. we see the effects and consequences of colonialism demonstrated in the world of pathologic, and it’s something we’re certainly asked to think about from time to time, but the actual plot/narrative of the game is not about overcoming or confronting explicitly colonialist constructs, etc. i personally regard this as a bit of a missed opportunity, but it’s just not what IPL was going for.

instead they have a huge focus, as discussed somewhat in response to this ask, on the broader idea of powerful people trying to create a “utopia” at the mortal cost of those they disempower, which is almost always topical as far as i’m concerned, and also very Russian.

i think there was some interview where it was said that the second game was much more about “a mechanism that transforms human nature” than the costs of utopia, but it’s still a persistent enough theme to be worth talking about both as an abstraction of colonialism as well as in its more-likely intended context through the lens of wealth inequality, environmental destruction & government corruption as universal human issues faced by the marginalized classes. i think both are important and intelligent readings of the text, and both are worth discussion.

both endings of pathologic 2 involve sacrifice in the name of an “ideal world” where it’s impossible to ever be fully satisfied. in the Diurnal Ending, Artemy is tormented over the fate of the Kin and the euthanasia of his dying god and all her miracles, but he needs to have faith that the children he’s protected will grow up better than their parents and create a world where he and his culture will be immortalized in love. in the Nocturnal Ending, he’s horrified because in preserving the miracle-bound legacy of his people as a collective, he’s un-personed himself to the individuals he loves, but he needs to have faith that the uniqueness and magic of the resurrected Earth was precious enough to be worth that sacrifice. neither ending is fair. it’s not fair that he can’t have both, but that’s the idea. because that “utopia” everyone’s been chasing is an idol that distracts from the important work of being a human being and doing your best in a flawed world.

because pathologic’s themes as a series are so very “Russian turn-of-the-century” and draw a ton of stylistic and topical inspiration from the theatre and literature of that era, i don’t doubt that it’s also inherited some of its inspirational literature’s missteps. however, because the game’s intertextuality is so incredibly dense it’s difficult to construct a super cohesive picture of its actual messaging. a lot of its references and themes will absolutely go over your head if you enter unprepared -- this was true for me, and it ended up taking several passes and a bunch of research to even begin appreciating the breadth of its influences.

(i’d argue this is ultimately a good thing; i would never have gone and picked up Camus or Strugatsky, or even known who Antonin Artaud was at all if i hadn’t gone in with pathologic! my understanding is still woefully incomplete and it’s probably going to take me a lot more effort to get properly fluent in the ideology of the story, but that’s the joy of it, i think. :) i’m very lucky to be able to pursue it in this way.)

anyway yes, pathologic 2 is definitely very flawed in a lot of places, particularly when it tries to tackle race, but i’m happy to see it for better and for worse. the game attempts to discuss several adjacent issues and stumbles as it does so, but insinuating it to be in some way “pro-racist” or “pro-colonialist” or whatever else feels kind of disingenuous to me. they’re clearly trying, however imperfectly, to do something intriguing and meaningful and empathetic with their story.

even all this will probably amount to a very disjointed and incomplete explanation of how pathologic & its messaging makes me feel, but what i want -- as a broader approach, not just for pathologic -- is for people to be willing to interpret things charitably.

sometimes things are made just to be cruel, and those things should be condemned, but not everything is like that. it’s not only possible but necessary to be able to acknowledge flaws or mistakes and still be kind. persecuting something straight away removes any opportunity to examine it and learn from it, and pathologic happens to be ripe with learning experiences.

it’s all about being okay with ugliness, working through difficult nuances with grace, and the strength of the human spirit, and it’s a story about love first and foremost, and i guess we sort of need that right now. it gave me some of its love, so i’m giving it some of my patience.

#meta #discourse #long post #ipl #writing #Anonymous #slight edit for colonialism #untitled plague game #pathologic

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karasimpno · 3 years

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{Day 24} The Party Goes With You | Kuroo x Reader

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x Gn!Reader

Genre: businessman!poker-playing!Kuroo AU, angsty-knight-in-shining-armor moment, angst/pining

WC: ~1.3k

Warnings: suggestion of unhappy/borderline abusive marriage, alcohol, gambling, cigar use

⍋⋆*❅｡. 25 days of fic-mas mlist .｡❅*⋆⍋

And we’re dancing nose to nose Darling do you suppose, oh darling do you suppose this party could be just us two? — The Party Goes With You; 35mm (music and lyrics by Ryan Scott Oliver)

You don’t speak of names or faces, but there is one face that always stands out to you.

Well, part of a face, rather, as the businessman with the immaculately-pressed suits always seems to let his hair hang down over his right eye. He’s all flashes of white teeth and heated golden gazes as cigar smoke swirls around the dimly-lit back room of the seemingly hole-in-the-wall bar. His lips move flawlessly as he tells joke after joke, keeping conversation moving as he robs the other players blind.

Though you usually work the front bar, serving cheap, disgusting drinks to equally foul men, on Saturday nights, you’re required to play dealer in the high-stakes poker game that is run out of the discreet back room of the bar. Your husband owns the place but owes money to every player, so he’s never there. But he thought his high-profile patrons could use a pretty face and a nice body to look at while they weekly gamble away some of their highest earnings—the bids rising to numbers beyond what you could ever make in a year.

Dealing is simple. The actual game itself is surprisingly not very heated, considering the fortunes at stake. But the gentleman with the hair as black as pitch and the shining golden ring on one of his nimble fingers is what keeps it so. The cant of his voice and his relaxed posture, suit jacket slung over the back of his chair, keep everyone in amiable spirits, energy flowing between them like the liquor through their veins. His lips move flawlessly as he charms his competitors, periodically lifting a crystal glass with his favorite Armagnac to them as locks eyes with you over the rim of his drink. He is dashing to say the least, and his gaze makes your body temperature rise, but you manage to keep your posture indifferent as you shuffle and flip the cards. With light conversation in sultry tones, the evenings are always interesting, as renowned businessmen do their best to outdo each other, racking up substantial bar tabs all the while.

Oh, and your favorite part.

In addition to taking the pot, at the end of every round, the player with the most winnings earns an added prize: a dance with the alluring dealer. You’d be exaggerating if you said that your mystery man wins every round, but certainly not by much. He ends up on top in a good 90% of the games.

“Sorry, fellas,” he always smirks devilishly, rising from his seat as the losing players grumble, throwing their cards down on the custom-made black felt. In spite of yourself, your heart skips a beat every time he extends his long fingers across the table to you. With a smile that you attempt to tame into mere professionalism, you accept his hand. Ever so gracefully, he lifts your joined hands over the heads of the other players, carefully guiding you from your nook in the table to the open space adjacent to it. Some of the players get up and wander into the front bar to buy more liquor. Others stick around and busy themselves chatting about their businesses and dealings. But you hardly ever pay attention to any of that, as the moment his firm hand snakes around your waist, pressing heavily but comfortably against your lower back and pulling you fast against his chest, everything else fades into the background.

He’s clearly an excellent dancer—feels like he could have studied ballroom dancing—but all you ever do with him is sway and spin as he speaks lowly into your ear, incapable of being heard by the others. He pulls you so close that you feel like every part of you is touching him as your chins hover over each other’s shoulders. He doesn’t speak of husbands or wives or work or his life at home. He always just speaks of the oddest things, some fun new fact, or something interesting he saw the other day. Neglected by your husband, this man makes you feel sexy, and wanted, and alive with your hand wrapped in his strong but surprisingly gentle one. Respecting your privacy and knowing your husband, he doesn’t ask you about yourself but you love just to hear him talk. He always comes up with the most interesting things to tell you and you love that about him.

You didn’t love your husband. Maybe you never did, but he’d grown so aggressive with you since making you manage his debts, the bar, his patrons...you had nothing left for him but resentment. But something about the dashing businessman whose name you don’t even know has you finding a spark in your life again.

“Alright boys,” he always says with a characteristic grin when he’s had enough gambling and drinking for the night. Some weekends it’s ten or eleven. Other weekends it stretches into one, two, once even three in the morning before he called it quits, his competition unraveling into drunken stupors as he stayed just as cool and collected, even as the empty brandy glasses began to accumulate around him late into the night. Your husband had instructed you to continue to deal for as long as the players were making bets.

When the man with eyes as brilliant as the sun stands to make his final call, he slings his discarded jacket over his shoulder, his other hand resting confidently on his hip. The other players chatter amongst themselves, murmurings of “maybe one more game,” or “should we stick around for another drink?” but they almost never do. When he makes his move to leave, the party goes with him. You often find yourself getting distracted watching him walk out the front of the bar with no hurry in the world, each slow step after step making your field of vision narrow down even smaller, until it only encompasses him.

You catch yourself sighing and are snapped back to the reality of what’s left behind: a bunch of men no different than any of the schmucks you serve at the front of the bar, the only difference between them being the withdrawal limit on their checking accounts. Whereas the mystery man always makes a point to thank you before he goes, his golden eyes halting on yours, the rest of the men attempt to sober themselves up and stumble out of the bar with grunts and dirty looks, leaving the mess of their indulgences behind.

And you’re left to daydream, thinking only of the man who comes in once a week, like a shadowy whirlwind of passion and excitement, dashing in and out of your life every Saturday night. The weeks are long, your husband is cruel, and the patrons at the front bar are unforgiving. Cleaning up after messy customers, you long for the weekend to come around, for the sight of that one man who makes your heart race and sweeps you off your feet before even touching you. You wish you could go back and rewrite the story of your life so that you met this man before your husband, and you could live a happy life together, just the two of you. Sometimes you catch yourself daydreaming of what a domestic life with him would look like, and remind yourself that he doesn’t even know your name, nor you his.

But when you’re dancing nose-to-nose, heat emanating from his chest and warming you from head to toe, you can’t help but buy into the fantasy that maybe he feels the same way. You want to ask him what he thinks, always desperate to know more—more about him, more about what he thinks of you, more of the way he sees the world, more, more, more from him. But the dance ends too soon, and you’re back to your role as dealer, him as player. The cards flip through your fingertips but all you crave is your fingers on his skin. The dream is as fleeting as a lead in the game.

And when he goes, the party—your life, your love, your spirit—goes with him.

A/n: okay this song is EVERYTHING to me but to me it’s always captured more of a feeling than like an easily interpretable scene for me. Phrases like “speakeasy, hole in the wall” and “cleaning up for vows in gold” and “the gayest party sad but true” just stick out to me and like I’ve always struggled to like ground it in some kind of narrative. BUT I took little nuggets in the song and became really attracted to the like singer falling in love with someone they barely know but see/serve all the time in sort of a bar setting. I was also really inspired by this scene in Molly’s Game (which is a good movie if you haven’t seen it)....I just love the idea of businessman Kuroo in like a cigar smoke-filled haze, drinking nice brandy, pulling you close and whispering sweet nothings in your ear......phew. This one is for my girl @bluntkingkuroo And THANK YOU GUYS so much for following along for such a fun event! I hope you all liked it!!! Xoxoxoxo -Elle

taglist: @slutawara @musicgetsmeoutofbed @azo-musxas @tsumurai @ghostlydiamond135 @animeboysimppp @honeybunny-sawamura @harokat

#kuroo #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo angst #elle writes #25 days of ficmas

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bokutosbestie2 · 3 years

Text

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Ah thanks to those who are reading this story! Love you all ☻

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Y/N Pov:

After getting dropped off by Atsumu, I check my phone to only see 20 miss calls from Semi.

Yikes, he probably thought I died or something...

I decide to call him back.

" Hello. "

" Y/N WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU! I WAS TRYING TO FIND YOU ALL OVER THE PARTY! " he shouted through the phone.

" OK FIRST OF ALL CALM DOWN! I'M OK DON'T WORRY! "

" Thank GOSH! I REALIZED YOU WERE GONE AROUND 3 am?! "

" Wow what a nice friend realizing I was gone after 5 hours at the party! " I say with sarcasm.

" HEY! AT LEAST I REMEMBER?! "

" YEA! You right... " I laughed.

" OH ALSO?! How did you get home your car is still at the Venue?! " Semi asks confused.

" WELL! A guy name Atsumu helped me out when I was completely out! "

" ATSUMU?! THE VOLLEYBALL PLAYER?! LIKE THE REALLY GOOD ONE?! "

" Yea?! The one with the twin! "

Why is he so surprised?

" DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?! "

" No, we just met last night! How do you know him ?" I asked curiously.

" We used to play volleyball together in high school same with his brother Osamu! Also, Osamu catered for the party! "

" Hmm, interesting... Well, I met Osamu at his restaurant."

" Osamu is the calmer twin but he still pretty crazy, on the other hand, Atsumu is a big flirt with the girls watch out!" Semi laughs on the phone.

" Yea not interested. "

" Haha, that's a loss for him! Anyways you need a break from volleyball players. " Semi laughs.

" Yea I do! Alright SEMI SEMI I'm gonna get going now I have to finish a couple of things from work. Also, I need to cure this hangover before tomorrow. "

" Ok then ILL LET YOU GO! BYE! "

" Bye Semi! "

We both end the call.

Now I need to find a way to get my car before noon because I have tons of work to do.

I can't ask Semi to take me there because he staying at a friend's house, I can probably ask Kenma to help me. I haven't seen him in a while so maybe we can catch up a little also.

I shoot a text to Kenma.

Texting on phone:

Y/n: “ Hey are you free right now? “

5 minutes later

Kenma: " yea why? "

Y/n: " Do you think you can come over right now?!

Kenma: " I don't see why not. "

Y/n: " PERFECT! "

I put my phone down on the counter and change into different clothes because I was still in Atsumu shirt.

I guess I'll be keeping the shirt until we meet again, or if we ever.

30 minutes later

I hear my doorbell ring, and it was Kenma.

" KENMAAA COME IN! " I say happily."

" Hey what's up its been a while! " he says as he went in for a hug.

" Nothing really.. "

" Bs I heard you and Kageyma broke up.. "

" FROM WHO?! " I say confused.

" Hinata... "

" OH YEAAA HIS BESTFRIEND... "

" Yea, he didn't really tell him but Hinata suspected when he texts him " how are things going with y/n, " and let's say he didn't take it well. " Kenma said in a conflicted tone.

" WHY did he not take it WELL! He the one who broke up with me?!" I say angrily.

" Did he ever tell you why he broke up with you? " Kenma asked.

" No, he just said I dOn'T LOvE yOu aNyMoRE "

I’m so annoyed right now why is he acting like the victim.

" That's it? " Kenma was surprised.

" YEA! "

" Oh wow, I really didn't think that the reason like... Strange."

" Who cares, I don't like him either. "

Obviously, I was still hurting but it's fine I don't need him.. Screw him.

" If you say so! "

Kenma Pov:

Yea no she still likes him...

Y/N Pov:

" Enough about him... DO you want to help me get my car?! "

" Wheres your car? " Kenma asks confused

" UH well, It's at a Venue.. "

" Did you go to a party or something? "

" Yea Semi had a party yesterday and let's say I got a little too wasted... BUT don't worry someone helped me out... "

" Uh, who helped you out? "

" I don't know if you know him but he is also a Volleyball player, his name is Atsumu the last name is Miya? "

" Wait a minute the one with the twin? "

" YEA HIM!"

" Are guys friends?! " Kenma asks

" No, I literally just met him last night. "

" Atsumu is a nice guy he just a big flirt. "

" THAT'S WHAT SEMI SAID?! "

" Well, it's because he is always out with a new girl every week. "

" Yea no thanks... " I say weirded out.

" Ok, so are we going to get your car?! " Kenma asks in a bored tone.

" Ok, let us go! "

I got into Kenma's car, luckily the venue is only 20 minutes away.

" AHH MY Precious car!! " I shouted.

" SHEEZ be louder next time will ya. "

" Kenma stop being grumpy... " I say as I try to keep in my laugh.

" Yea whatever go get your car now! "

" Already kicking me out... "

" Yes! "

" AH YOUR SO COLD! " I laugh

" Ok well thank you Kenma! We actually need to hang out ok?! "

" Fine... We will one of these days. " he smiles.

I get out of the car, wave to Kenma then I get in my car.

Finally, I can go home now and start working on projects.

After the 20 minute drive, I get in my house and start working on the three projects.

Meanwhile At this time:

Atsumu pov:

I'm sitting on the couch, my phone started buzzing uncontrollably.

What the heck.

I flip my phone over only to see texts from my friends. I open up the group chat and see something unexpected. A PHOTO OF ME AND Y/N IN THE CAR ON “ THE PEOPLES “ TWITTER PAGE.

The big 4 :

Sakusa: Oh so is she another new girl?

Bokuto: Already Atsumu?!

Hinata: Isn't that Kageyama's ex!

Me: NO NO THEY GOT IT WRONG WE ARE NOT GOING OUT!

Me: ALSO HINATA DID YOU JUST SAY?! KAGEYAMA EX?!

So that's who broke her... What a small world.

Sakusa: Sure that's what you say about every girl..

Bokuto: Can we get a Rip

Hinata: Rip.. Also Yes

Sakusa: Rip

Sakusa: Damn already making moves on a girl who broke up with her boyfriend.

Bokuto: Wow..

Hinata: HAHA I WONDER HOW KAGS IS GOING TO REACT TO THIS..

Me: CAN YOU GUYS STOP THAT?! YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG...

Sakusa: Ok then if she, not a random hook up who is she, and does she know she on " the people's " Twitter account label as mystery girl?!

Bokuto: YEA DOES SHE KNOW!?

Oh my, we just met and she isn't going to like this.

Me: NO SHE DOESNT KNOW...But she was some random girl at the party Osamu was catering. I decided to help her out because she was alone and drunk so I took her to Osamu's house, so she can sober up. The next morning I took her home because she left her car at the Venue... I DIDNT THINK THE Paparazzi WOULD CARE SO MUCH?!

Hinata: Wow Atsumu that was nice of you.

Bokuto: ^^^

Sakusa: Well you're going to have to tell her or do something about it because we all know how crazy your fangirls get.

Me: Fine fine let me tell her right now.

After texting the group chat, I was about to text y/n only to remember... I don't have her number, but I think Osamu has her number.

I texted Osamu, now I have to wait for him to respond.

Now back to y/n :

Finally, I'm almost done with this projects...

Then all of sudden I get a text from Tendou.

I looked at my phone and I can't believe what I see... He sends me a screenshot of Me and Atsumu in the car... It was trending on Twitter. The title was " Star setter mystery girl? "

Texting On phone:

Tendou: I didn't know you guys were going out?

Y/n: OH MY GOSH? Please tell me this is a joke?!

Tendou: No I don't think so...

Y/n: WE ARE NOT GOING OUT... I MET HIM LAST NIGHT!

I explained to Tendou what happened last night.

Tendou: this Has to be the most miss interpreted picture ever. LMAO!!

Y/n: YEA IT IS NOW EVERYONE AT WORK IS GOING TO ASK ME... OH NO KAGEYAMA PROBABLY SAW THIS!

Tendou: HAHAHA.. WHO CARES HE BROKE UP WITH YOU... His loss..

Y/n: YOUR RIGHT! BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE KNOW AS ATSUMU ANOTHER GIRL?! I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY!

Tendou: Has he talked to you about it?!

Y/n: No HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE MY NUMBER?!

Tendou: Well this is going to be fun to watch...

Y/n: NO it's NOT..

I stressfully put my phone down on the counter...

What I'm I going to do?! HOW DID I GET INTO TO THIS MESS?

I hear another notification go off on my phone... It was an unknown number.

Text message:

Hey can we talk?

Y/n: Who is this?

Atsumu: Its Atsumu

Y/n: NO WE CANT TALK DID YOU SEE TWITTER?

Atsumu: YES I KNOW THAT'S WHY I WANT TO TALK?

Y/n: Also? HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER?

Atsumu: OSAMU GAVE IT TO ME!

oh, yea I forgot I gave him my number.

Atsumu: WELL HEAR ME OUT! This will die down tomorrow, me and the team are leaving for Osaka in the morning so you don't even have to see me again.

Y/n: Sheez that's a harsh way to put it.

Atsumu: I mean if you want to see me you can~

Oh my, I can hear his flirtatious tone from here.

Y/n: NO!

Atsumu: AW you're SO MEAN!

Atsumu: ALSO I DIDNT KNOW Kageyama was your boyfriend...

Y/n: Who told you that?

Atsumu: Hinata! We play on the same team..

Y/n: OH Gosh NOW IT SEEMS LIKE IM JUMPING AROUND Guy to Guy...

Atsumu: YOU THINK IT MAKES YOU SEEM BAD? IT MAKES ME SEEM BAD TOO!

Y/n: Atsumu Shut up! Everyone knows you're a big flirt.. now I'm going to seem like I'm one of your little playthings.

Y/n: WHAT IM GOING TO SAY at WORK PEOPLE ARE GOING TO ASK IF WE HOOKED UP?!

Atsumu: I have an Idea.. What if we pretend we're dating?

Y/n: HUH?

Atsumu: It will fix both our reputation.. I won't be seen as the guy who hooks up with every chick and people at work can stop questioning you. There's a BONUS we can make Kageyama jealous... You can win him back.

Y/n: IF we do this... together in private we don't have to act as a couple right.. I just MET YOU...

Atsumu: Yea don't worry your not even my type, this should be easy because I won't be near you.

Y/n: DEAL!

Atsumu: PERFECT! Just let me know if anything happens tomorrow! Ill fill you in too!

Y/n: Fine.

I place my phone down on the nearby table.

WHAT HAVE I DONE? IS THIS REALLY GOING TO WORK?

Atsumu pov:

Why couldn't have it been with much cuter girl? Now no girl is going to talk to me.. Stupid paparazzi.

Chapter 5

#msby atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya astumu #hq atsumu #fanfic #haikyuu time skip #osamu miya #haikyuu x female reader #atsumu fanfic #haikyu timeskip #msby black jackal #msby four #hq sakusa #msby 4 #atsumu x y/n

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yeaahishowedupatyourparty · 3 years

Text

Red & the meaning of it’s songs for Lottie. I just feel like doing this is going to help me build her narrative more, there might be some open spots in here but I doubt it. Also, as I said in the chat, it just helps everyone differentiate her from Holly because they both use Taylor’s albums for their character development! Hope that makes sense :)

1. State Of Grace - Moving to New York and a dedication to all of the friend’s she’s made there. It’s the first time she’s been settled properly in one place and I think it’s about the intense excitement and love she feels for her academy already. She’s met Yasmine, Salem, and so many others and it’s track number 1, because she sees it as the opening to a really exciting new chapter. 2. Red - Elijah! This was her first boyfriend and they drifted as they grew up and moved on to different things. She has no ideas he’s into guys and that doesn’t really matter, anyway. She’s accepted that they’re over but the relationship is always romanticised in her head and moving on fully will probably never be an option. 3. Treacherous��- Her first crush at Liberty was Avery and it hit hard. She was intensely pissed off when she didn’t get the reciprocation she wanted but after ‘Better than Revenge’ on Speak Now, she knows better than to put people on blast TOO hard. So, she went down the lovesick route and created this beautiful song. She knows that nothing’s going to come of it, but she can’t fully leave him alone. It’s a little less intense now that all of the academies are together though, because she doesn’t see him as much. 4. I Knew You Were Trouble - This plot is still work in progress, but it’ll be dedicated to Ethan. The two of them have got closer through attending Liberty and he’s attracted to her on a physical level; but nothing more. He’s mainly hooking up with her to prove a point to Addy and it’s working. They’re never official but even still, when she realises/the truth comes out, I think she’ll put her “Stop putting people on blast” attitude out of the window and release this because she won’t be happy. 5. All Too Well - I think All Too Well is really easy to interpret as heartbreak, but Lottie’s meant to be more calculated than that. So, even though it’s very much a heartfelt song and really emotional...she’s crafted it to be that way. It’ll be about Ethan and the purpose of it will be to get the general public and fans on side. She knows it tugs at heart-strings and while I Knew You Were Trouble is a bop, All Too Well is designed to give her the vulnerability that everybody loves to see. In reality, she’s not as hurt about it as she’s pretending. 6. 22 - Every single album has a song about or inspired by Annabel because she’s hands down the most important person in Lottie’s world. I feel Lottie would have grown up hearing Annabel’s stories about St Judes, her adventures and the friends she made. Lottie wrote this song when she got accepted into Liberty, knowing that she’d be having the same thing, and in a weird way feels more connected to her Mum than ever. The line “Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you” kind of points to how much she still relies on Annabel and knows her Mum will guide her through anything that gets hard in the next few years. She basically feels as if she’s her Mum when she was 22. 7. I Almost Do - Elijah. This would be an older song and I think it’d be written when she first started feeling the distance between them. This is probably the least complicated meaning on the album, oop. 8. We Are Never Getting Back Together - NOBODY LOL She just knew it’d get people talking and was catchy and it’ll be one she always acts as if it’s a huge secret who it’s about. 9. Stay Stay Stay - Again, it needs a little bit more development but Flynn is the second guy she’s had a major crush on. He’s really good to her and they have a lovely friendship, but she’s also keeping him at arms length because she knows her career plan is going to end up screwing over a lot of people and their reputations and she doesn’t want him to be one of them. It’s also about how he seems to genuinely like her and not care as much about how successful she is/what she can or cant offer him. 10. The Last Time - All Too Well, part 2. Just to REALLY drive home the fact that Ethan’s hurt her feelings, it’s all his fault and people should feel bad for her. Forget the fact she also knew he was one of the star basketball players and dating him would help boost the attention for ‘Red.’ That’s irrelevant...Obviously. 11. Holy Ground - She wrote this during her visit to St Judes and again, with her parents in mind. For them, Violet Springs is where it all started and I think she would’ve done something really sentimental like visited Annabel’s old dorm room or asked her Mum to take her to the place where they first met. This one tells their story more than any of theirs. 12. Sad Beautiful Tragic - Another one about Elijah. I feel like this is probably the shadiest song she’s written about him and here’s why...’Sad beautiful tragic love affair’ almost implies that something happened or somebody was wrong - and, of course, Lottie’s RARELY going to put herself in the shoes of the villain in any of her stories, so it very subtly nudges people to feel like Elijah did something. He didn’t, though, but one of Lottie’s weaknesses is making things up in her head until she believes them to be fact. There was definitely a stage where she thought he’d found somebody else, so this was the result. 13. The Lucky One - For Violet! Lottie’s been in the music industry for a little longer than most, just because Drew and Annabel let her be home-schooled for a few years while she worked on her debut. I think she sees a lot of herself in Violet and it’s somebody she genuinely cares about. It’s written almost like a fable about fame and trying to warn her that she needs to keep her feet on the ground or she’ll get hurt. 14. Everything Has Changed - I REALLY DON’T LIKE THIS SONG, I FIND IT HARD TO CARE ABOUT. She does have a vague connection with Fae’s new character, Jace, though, so I’ll fill this in when we’ve got a better idea of what it’s all about. 15. Starlight - Her second song about being in New York and starting life at Liberty. Lottie’s version of ‘Red’ is about living life at maximum intensity, which is what she feels like at the moment. She feels like this is the most alive and new she’ll ever be and her passion for everything is burning, so Starlight is another song that expresses that. 16. Begin Again - Flynn and Elijah, ahh. Again, she deep down knows Flynn’s a good guy and the real deal; the only other person she’s had that intuition about is Elijah. She’s kind of comparing them in the sense that they’ve given her that hopeful, heads-in-the-clouds feeling...unlike Ethan who is the other side of the album. I think it’s from the perspective of Lottie looking at Flynn and seeing a lot of Elijah - hence something quite nice is beginning...again.

17. The Moment I Knew - This will again be for Jace. The vague idea of their connection is that they dated after she dated Elijah, while she was home schooling. She fell hard and looked to him for support and was convinced he’d be the same as Elijah was to her but he is and has always been more focused on his career. So, when she decided to go back to VS, he stayed out in LA trying to make his dreams come true. They tried long distance but he never called as much as she did and it felt very one way. He never did anything explicitly wrong...unless you hear Lottie’s slightly overdramatic version of the story via this song. (For people struggling to keep up, it goes: Elijah, Jace, Liberty, Crush on Avery, vague fling with Ethan, Longterm crush on Flynn LOL) 18. Come Back, Be Here - Leaving LA (when she was being home schooled/working on her debut) and Jace, too. This was the beginning of their short lived long distance relationship when she thought they genuinely had a chance. I feel like she’s embarrassed to admit she fell for him now but she did lmao. 19. Girl At Home - If you didn’t get the clue in her post, Peter C LOL. It’s plotted that when they got to NYC, he flirted with her a few times even though Lottie knew he was with Bianca. Hence why she wrote this song. She could’ve just told him to fuck off and left it be, but why do that when you could have it on an album and cause rumours to spread like wildfire?

#lotties project: red #ITS NOT OUT YET #BUT THESE WILL BE THE MEANINGS #i also love how sneakily shady she is with these songs and the meanings :')

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chikkou · 4 years

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I'd ask this on your Lisa sideblog but you don't have anon on and I'm shy lol, but do you have any headcanons relating to Lisa the First? Like Lisa's views on religion, her relationship with her mother, if any of the various worlds we see mean anything?

hoh man i didnt even know anon wasnt on LMAO... ill turn it on after i post this!

also fuck YEAH i do holy shit i fucking LOVE lisa the first!! i know its sort of the black sheep of the lisa series, since it is a completely different type of game and was clearly austins first game, but i fucking ADORE it dude. the music - which he made ENTIRELY IN THE FREE TRIAL OF FL STUDIO BY THE WAY - is FANTASTIC, the art direction is actually pretty fucking incredible for an rpgmaker game that uses a good deal of basic assets, and the gameplay.... ok yeah that part is a bit lacking but its a yume nikki-style game be nice it was his first time LMAO

ANYWAY back to ur question. first and foremost, i think this is not even a headcanon so much as straight up canon, but lisa DESPISES christianity. marty is christian, probably catholic given the golden crosses everywhere, and he is a fucking scumbag hypocrite. lisa likely associates all of christianity with this line of thinking, as there is one room in the bile area where the melted martys (although i suppose we can just call them joy mutants now LMAO) simply stand in a circle surrounding one big cross. the role of the melted martys is up for interpretation of course, as is everything, but after playing the painful and seeing them described as “mindless sheep,” i think this is how lisa viewed them. so they likely represent other people that, to lisa, are probably just as sick and disgusting as marty

lisas relationship with her mother... i go back and forth on this one a lot. i can never decide if i prefer the headcanon that lisas mom died in childbirth, and so lisa never met her, or if i prefer that lisas mom was around for a very short time and then either left or died. the fact that she says “i didnt want to leave” at the end of the first leads me to believe that she most likely died. in either case, the memory of her mother was clearly important to lisa, as she wears her pendant through the entire game and its explicitly noted as being a gift from her. in either case, i think that the death/absence of the mother is heavily implied to be the primary cause behind martys descent into alcoholism and lisas abuse, since the white room strongly implies that marty did at one time sincerely love and care for her as a father properly should

as for the meaning of each of the rooms, i think most of them are fairly self explanatory, but some of them are a bit more vague, so ill break it down in terms of how i see it (and ill put them under the cut because its long as hell):

martys house - this is the most literal one. pretty self-explanatory. the dark, yet vibrant colors and the ear-bleedingly loud tv are pure sensory overload, something lisa probably deals with on a regular basis. when lisa goes outside and it turns into a sky of marty faces, i think this is the transition into the psychological part of the game

the lobby - this is honestly just pure yume nikki ripoff LMAO... but if i had to ascribe a symbolic meaning to it, i think its probably a quiet and safe area for lisa to retreat to in her mind when she needs it, but even that eventually gets sullied as tricky rick makes his way there, too (and tells her hes “just waiting” when she talks to him). the majority of gameplay is lisa searching for items with which to kill tricky rick, who always abuses and disparages her whenever she talks to him, telling her she’ll never forget. as for the reason why... well, take one look at him and its pretty clear whats going on there. (the name is also a reference to richard nixon, whose nickname was... well, you can figure it out!)

the town - the bar area is 100% my favorite from this world; lisa clearly hates alcohol and anyone who drinks it, associating them all with marty, and that music... all i can say is YUCK. the entire section also consists of lisa having to give up something in exchange for what she needs to move on, and usually getting the raw end of the deal out of it (she gives one marty a banana, he gives her a banana peel in return). she does all that while avoiding a marty following her outside who repeatedly tells her “you cant escape,” and upon reaching tricky rick (who is atop a narrow, columnar, PINK mountain), it becomes pretty clear whats happening to her.

the sea room - fucking marty spiders man. im assuming they represent the sickly feeling of crawling skin she gets when she looks at him or is anywhere near him, but holy GOD they are annoying to deal with. she kills tricky rick with pills here - we dont know what kind of pills these are, but i interpret them as sleeping pills, and given the rumbling music and the rapid cycling marty background, i wonder if he forced her to take these. marty is everywhere here, but the only one she can speak to is seen chilling on a raft of some kind. marty likely spent much of his time recreationally, i.e. drinking, so it makes sense why this would be here

the rope room - theres no symbolism here this is just pure comedy (LMAO). if i HAD to assign some meaning to this area, it would be that lisa likely is so despondent at this point that putting in effort to do anything feels utterly pointless, much like climbing this long-ass rope was

the white room - as i mentioned earlier, i personally believe that this area depicts the previous relationship between marty and lisa (and also has one of my favorite songs in the game). he is shown doing traditional fatherly things - he is no longer wearing sunglasses and is wearing a suit, meaning he was likely employed, and is actually smiling. he also spends time with her in a completely platonic, familial way. when she interacts with him, there is a little heart over his head. after lisa walks through the golden statues (which will reappear later), the entire world becomes filled with bile, and martys appearance returns to that of the other martys, but with an extremely warped, grotesque face. the item she needs in this area to kill tricky rick is found between two golden crosses.

notice that all of the items she kills tricky rick with - a razor, pills, and now a plastic bag - are things that a child could plausibly get their hands on; none of them are explicitly weapons. i think this shows both her age and how often she must have considered using those things against him.

the bile room - probably my favorite area in the game, and also features what i consider the quintessential lisa song. this area really drives home lisas disgust with marty and with christianity as a whole - it almost certainly has the highest concentration of crosses, and it is also quite literally covered in wall-to-wall bile, dirty water, and disgusting houses. a lot of the most graphic sights, like the melting martys and the pond martys (no idea what to call them LMAO) are here, so i think this is pretty much the lowest circle of hell for lisa. marty gives lisa a freshly cut finger in exchange for a napkin here; im not necessarily sure what that represents, but i think the napkin was used by marty to masturbate (as he says “i needed that” after he takes it), so perhaps the finger is martys?

lisa kills tricky rick here in a cave that is not-so-subtly shaped like a penis, and gets a vhs tape in which he pretty explicitly states what is going on in the game; he even pretends like he doesnt know who lisa is at first, which somehow makes it even more disgusting. the fact that vhs tapes play a role here sort of makes me wonder if marty really WAS filming some of what he was doing, and given that lisa the joyful confirms that brad was forced to somehow participate in lisas abuse, that is.... horrific to think about, honestly

the marty tape - this tape just has the player (as marty) walk up to lisa and suited marty, who are having a tea party with a plastic tea set. they both get hearts over their heads if you talk to them. i think this drives home that he and lisa did once have a normal relationship, and perhaps theres some part of marty who misses that? theres a LOT of ways you can interpret this; having the player become marty really calls a lot into question.

the mansion - the room leading here has a marty staring directly at the player who informs lisa that she needs a sword to progress. unsubtly, the sword must be placed into the crotch of a womans statue. the mansion inside is beautiful and ornate, and easily the most gorgeous area in the game - and it all leads to what appears to be a proto-joy mutant marty, sort of looking like jabba the hutt. i dont doubt that this is intentional, given that jabba the hutt is associated with slave leia, and its not at all a far leap to call lisa martys slave. the golden statues of women, as well as many golden crosses, are everywhere in this area. its actually quite a large space with a lot of thought put into it, so im really upset that i cant figure out more of what it represents LMAO

the final area - lisa seems to go back to her actual house, but upon leaving her room and entering whether the living room would be, the whole area changes. she encounters herself in a blood red room, but when she talks to the other lisa, she turns into marty. i think this represents a clear question - who is lisa without him? IS she anyone? or is she just a vessel for him to do with what he pleases? she encounters a naked marty telling her to give up shortly after, and flees from him, but is followed by voices repeatedly telling her that she must accept her fate. i think this clearly show the mental state of lisas last days. she was tormented, eternally. she truly felt there was no escape from marty. even the background becomes nothing but martys face, over and over again, as the end screen flashes.

at the end text, she finds a video tape, and in the tape sees someone who is ostensibly her mother from behind. she apologizes for not being there for her, but when that figure turns out, its martys face that she sees. the sky turns into marty. the music becomes corrupted and overrun with pretty fucked up laughter. she tries to run, but marty is already everywhere. theres nowhere for her to run. and then the game is over.

note that the video tape comes AFTER the games end screen, which stops not long after the appearance of the naked marty. so i personally believe that the “game over” represents her deciding to take her own life, rather than just give up and accept her fate. by running from him into the blackness, she got away from marty the only way she could have. it is sad and horrible, but that is honestly the best ending that she could have gotten in this game.

the first is definitely not as good as the painful in terms of gameplay, that much i can agree on, but i really think people miss out on a lot by not playing it. i think its really crucial to see lisas life from her own perspective before you can see it from brads - after all, brad may have known more than anyone else about what was going on, but he did not experience it like lisa did. for brad, lisa is a symbol of his own regrets and failures, but lisa was a PERSON (well, in-universe anyway LMAO). she suffered on her own, with pretty much no one to help her, and then she suffered so much that she couldnt take another second of it.

#anya's anons #long post #lisa the first #ok NOW im gonna open my anons on my sideblog LMAO #i got wayyyy too into this #and i had to put it under the cut bc its really hard to not be graphic about the first given the subject matter #rape mention #abuse mention #lisa

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lovelytiefling · 6 years

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okayy i was tagged by @inspireigen but my phone wouldnt let me copy paste the questions all at once onlyone at a time and i was too lazy to do that so took a screenshot lol

1. Okay so my url before this one was sapphicsunflower (or it mightve been a variation on that like svnflower? cuz i think someone else had the regular word ANYWAYS) but before that i had the url queen-quasar, and i wanted to go back to that one. only to find that it was taken…. but like, me and outerspace man we go hand in hand, so i decided to keep quasar in the name and keep the alliteration by making it quasi-quasar. its also kinda a joke cuz quasi- means like “somewhat” or “kind of/almost [something]” so like my url isnt totally what it was before bUT it kIND OF is

2. oof. OOF. im bad at like picking stuff, like im super indecisive. theres just a lot of good songs out there man. hmm ill just say the first that comes to mind is “This Life is Mine” from the RWBY soundtrack. ive always rly enjoyed the rwby music, “Home” from rwby is also a song that brings tears to my eyes haha

but for something a little different, theres a song that i performed in choir senior year that pulls at my heartstrings. its called “Homeward Bound” and im not one to like toot my own horn lmao im not a great singer on my own but as a choir i think we did an amazing job, my teacher said it was an audience favorite that night. and i mean you can look it up and listen to it, but like it wont be the same as the way i got to hear it man (not just cuz we had it arranged a little different) we just… we did a good job and the song evoked emotion from a lot of us. its a song about leaving to go on a journey but promising to come back to your loved ones. granted it talks about like not wanting to be stuck on a farm, but like the overall theme a lot of us could relate to. and we even had a class discussion about different meanings and interpretations for it and ngl some folks cried. so uh yeah haha its not exactly somethin im jamming out to all the time but i just thought it was worth mentioning

3. Controversial? Apple pie sucks ass. Every person whomst the fuck ive ever mentioned hating apple pie to looked at me in dISGUST

4. i cant remember hmm… its not that i dont see people doing nice things, its just almost 3am so my brains all stupid and also i just cant remember exactly having that thought recently uhh. yknow, that post about the person who played runescape and the higher level player that casually gave them some rly good stuff without anything to gain has been circulating again recently. i think that. sure its just a game, but it had a positive impact on a kid yknow? also, thats something thatd just make someones day, even as an adult.

5. UHHHHHHHHH UUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH i can draw better than a stick figure no but yeah…. i think drawing is my rly only like good skill… im glad im decent at it

6. oh gooood. okay. so me and my parents were gonna go see thor: ragnarok like months ago right. but the theater was full so we decided to see another movie. they picked. like. bad moms: christmas?? i think it was called that?? and uh IT WASNT GREAT LOL. NOT WORTH IT

7. Fullmetal Alchemist. FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST. FUUULLMETAL ALCHEMIIIIST. Like ive watched the first fma once and fma brotherhood 3 times. like. i lOVE it. in fact i want a tattoo from it (human transmutation circle).

other notable mentions would be like zelda, atla/lok, and zero escape. oh but maybe as far as like movies, mad max:fury road, pacific rim, uhhh bands. panic! at the disco, (it didnt say singers bUT) florence + the machine. also. just gonna throw in the adventure zone.

i like a lot of things lmao

8. first fandom. hmm. im having trouble with this question cuz its like, what counts as fandom. like ive been a big fan of things but only talked about them among friends. ive just reblogged stuff without making art/posts about it myself. like rn im thinking back to when i had deviantart in like middle school. man idk. thats hard to say. im gonna have to pass on giving a direct answer on that one sorry!!

9. working (ever… so… slowly) on a webcomic. still planning stuff out for it. ive got a long way to go. ive also got just regular ol drawing ideas that id like to do real soon

10. Some type of magic user for sure!! Like a mage/witch/sorcerer or anything. I mean if were talking like dnd, i havent played it but i already know i wanna try out bard, warlock, and wizard if i get the chance to, all of which involve some kind of magic. and in video games if i get to pick a class then yeah lol i 99% of the tome choose some kind of mage

im supposed to tag people but im lazy and just gonna tag @fulmentus

and uhh, its 3am now i dont feel like coming up with new questions, kas if you do this game just use the ones i did lol

#chase chatter #long post #kas i tagged your other account #and i tried to change it but tumblr decided to be stupid #so idk if your gonna get the notification for this post on the right blog

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hanbeihood · 5 years

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A fun little Halloween 5e build

With Halloween right around the corner, I figured I’d post a 5e character build that I made a little bit ago. Some might call them creepy or unsettling, but they won’t say anything in response, if they’re a pro. Get your Player’s Handbooks ready, and let’s build a fucking mime.

Okay, first things first. We need the physical ability to hold positions like sitting in a chair for at least a brief period of time. Secondly, we need to be able to make those invisible walls, effects, etc. Finally, we need to be silent.

Let’s use the standard point array for our base stats (15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8). You don’t have to use this method if you prefer others, but be mindful of multiclassing prerequisites (DEX & WIS). At the end of the day, stat distributions are just another type of flavor that add to the role-playing aspect of D&D.

15 is going into Dexterity. You’re a physical actor, so you need to be limber. Next is 14 for Charisma; you don’t have to be liked to have your smile leave an impact. 13 is for Constitution. Sometimes you’ll decide to sit in an invisible chair and have to stick it out for a little bit. Also, you’re HP will thank you. 12 is going into our Wisdom. One of the perks of staying quiet is the opportunity to notice things every now and again. We’re also going to get our zen on a little bit; you kind of need to when you can’t always communicate effectively with your party members. Strength is going to be our 10. I’d dump it if it wasn’t for how physically taxing some miming can be. That just leaves the 8 for Intelligence. Yeah, it sucks, but it’s the least important stat for this build. Like I said, you only need to /really/ pay attention to the multiclass prereqs. A higher INT won’t break the character.

For the race, our mime will be a Gith, specifically a Githzerai, from Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes. That’s a +1INT & +2WIS, bumping them up to 9 & 14 respectively. Githzerai also get a 30ft speed, speak Common & Gith, and have Mental Discipline which grants advantage on saving throws against the Charmed & Frightened conditions. But the real reason we’re choosing this race is for their Githzerai Psionics. This’ll give us Mage Hand, Shield at 3rd lvl once per long rest, and Detect Magic at 5th lvl once per long rest. These spells use your Wisdom score. The best part is that they don’t require any components at all, and Mage Hand cast this way is invisible. So that last feature gives a way to manipulate the environment with reasonable deniability, a once-a-day invisible wall to defend yourself, and Detect Magic because I guess mimes can sense when you’re bs-ing them. Don’t try to cheat a mime.

We’re going to take the Charlatan background gaining proficiencies in Deception, Sleight of Hand, Disguise kits, & Forgery kits. What’s more unsettling than a mime? A mime you know you can’t trust. We also get the False Identity feature to have a secondary persona to slip into when need be; you could flavor this to be the difference between makeup on and off.

For our 1st level, we’re taking Rogue. Gotta love the image of a mime with a dagger or shortsword, huh? Now, most of the Rogues proficiency options are good, and we get 4. Performance is a must, and I strongly recommend Acrobatics. The other 2 are up to you. I’m going to choose Stealth & Perception. As a Rogue, we get Sneak Attack (duh), Thieves’ Cant (a way to communicate via miming?), and Expertise (x2 proficiency bonus for Performance & Stealth? yes please).

Time to immediately multiclass into Monk for our 2nd lvl. Unarmored Defense & Martial Arts are great features which can be flavored easily. The WIS bonus to your AC can be interpreted as quickly summoned invisible walls to protect you from attacks. It may seem low for the moment, but a 14 AC is better than the 13 you’d have from Leather Armor. The 1d4 unarmed strikes from your Martial Arts can be flavored to be invisible bludgeoning weapons. (I’m partial to baseball bats) I’d recommend talking with your DM about enchanting your blades to be inivisible since you can’t use Sneak Attack with your unarmed strikes despite using your DEX. (Finesse or ranged weapons /means/ finesse or ranged weapons.) You could then eventually have the party Wizard imbue those blades via Nystul’s Magic Aura to essentially make them undetectable. Just don’t lose them.

Going back to Rogue (2) for Cunning Action to Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a bonus action. Nothing scary about a sneaky mime.

Staying in Rogue (3) to bump Sneak Attack damage to 2d6 and to take the Thief Roguish Archetype. This gives you Fast Hands to add more options to your Cunning Action. You can now use your CA to make a DEX (Sleight of Hand) check, use thieves’ tools to disarm a trap or open a lock, or take the “Use an Object” action. You also get Second-Story Work meaning you can climbing no longer costs extra movement, and when you make a running jump, the distance you cover increases by an amount of feet equal to your DEX modifier.

We’ll stay in Rogue (4) some more to take that Ability Score Increase, bumping up our DEX & COn by 1. Odd numbers on important stats are the enemy. Our stats now look like this: STR 10 || DEX 16 || CON 14 || INT 9 || WIS 14 || CHA 14

Back into Monk (2) for our 6th level in total, we get Unarmored Movement (+10ft) and Ki! Ki is powered by your WIS stat. For future features that use Ki, your Ki DC is 8+your proficiency modifier+your WIS modifier. You get 2 Ki points per long or short rest. You can currently spend 1 to activate Flurry of Blows, Patient Defense, or Step of the Wind. Patient Defense is the one we’re after the most because it let’s the mime take the Dodge action as a bonus action on your turn, i.e. another way to have mimed walls up.

Our next Monk level (3) is big. We get 1 more Ki point (and will gain 1 with each Monk level), Deflect Missiles (more walls! [if you don’t just straight up catch the projectile]), and our Monastic Tradition: Way of the Open Hand. WotOH makes the already useful Flurry of Blows even more useful. Knocking enemies prone, pushing them up to 15ft away, or keeping them from taking reactions until the end of your next turn are some great options you can impose on foes.

Let’s get another ASI, this time from Monk (4). We’ll boost our DEX by 2. STR 10 || DEX 18 || CON 14 || INT 9 || WIS 14 || CHA 14 Also, we get Slow Fall to umbrella our way down and reduce damage.

Let’s speed things along. We take 2 more levels of Rogue (5, 6). Sneak Attack is now 3d6. We gain Uncanny Dodge to halve an attack’s damage via your reaction, and we get to apply Expertise to 2 more skills or 1 skill and the thieves’ tools. I’m going to place Expertise on Sleight of Hand and Perception. (You do you, though.)

The rest of our levels will be going into Monk for this build for a total of 14 Monk levels and 6 Rogue levels. The Martial Arts die will be 1d8, and we’ll have +25ft to our movement. At the 8th and 12th level of Monk, we’ll have the option for 2 more ASI’s. If you’re happy with your current ability scores and your DM allows it, you can consider taking the Lucky and/or Observant feats. If you want an extra boost to those numbers, bump up WIS and/or CHA to 16 for more reliable skills, saving throws, and Ki DC. For my build, I’m going to take the Observant feat, adding +1 to my INT and then use the other ASI to bring my WIS to 16. STR 10 || DEX 18 || CON 14 || INT 10 || WIS 16 || CHA 14

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Let’s take a look at what we’ve got.

--Mobility (Chances are that you’re faster than people afraid of mimes) --Consistent damage (which is magical damage thanks to Monk’s 6th lvl) --Skills (6 levels of Rogue is so nice to make sure you do what you need to do) --Damage avoidance (1 Shield spell, AC 17, Evasion from Monk’s 7th lvl, and proficiency in all saving throws from Monk’s 14th lvl) --Loyal (Being a Githzerai and a Monk means it’s really hard to make you turn on your allies) --Miming (As long as you have Ki and can move around a bit, you can mess with your foes.) --Close range (If you’re using daggers, you can only throw them so far. Otherwise, you gotta get up in the enemy’s face.) --Limited damage types (You kind of only have bludgeoning and piercing damage to work with) --Mime (You aren’t proficient in Intimidation, but there are people who find you scary anyway. At 20th lvl, you’ve got a +8 without even trying. You could either be the best or worst face of the party depending on who you’re trying to work with.)

#halloween #mime #dnd #5e #character build #clown #sorta #spooky

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trpg-dingusmaster · 7 years

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The plot was actually furthered! And a new character joins the party.

I missed a few sessions, not sure how many. Time isnt real.

anyway. a week or so ago, maybe two? The dm for the evening was running 90lbs FineCoal, though nobody knows I call it that.

a few things happened since I was there for this campaign.

- the new guy in the group (who I met during Bassun on the Sea) is playing a gnome pyrotechnic in this game

- the gang/faction we are most at odds with blew up a children’s hospital in what I assume was retaliation for liberating their sweatshop and stealing the rights to the land it was on but I’m not sure.

-new things were added to our base of operations but none of those were new bedrooms or a kitchen upgrade so its still cramped and weird like theres like 6-9 people living there but only 2 bedrooms? I assume this is what my character was doing while I was gone.

this session, as we went into town to restock things and sell stuff we noticed a new faction running around putting up fliers and standing on corners looking official while giving an announcement.

“By the decree of the Templars in one week all citizens will be reporting for a mandatory community meeting. We will be patrolling the streets until then to be certain that everyone attends and that no trouble is caused. Nonattendance is punishable by law.”

we did some investigating on who these people are and found out that they’re pretty basically the military police? they are I think supposed to answer only to the highest authorities but its possible they may not be in full cooperation but maybe thats just me thinking too far ahead. They may also have, or at least at one time had, some kind of agreement with the gang the party is against the most. Rumors say they are probably the reason magic no longer exists in the walled up nation.

time passes and we head to the meeting, the gnome is dressed up and disguised to look more like a child in hopes he’d be able to sneak around and investigate further. Hugo supplies him with some booze, coal, and sawdust/wood scrap to assist in any explodey shenanigans he might need to get up to.

He is however captured, somehow they know right away that he was in disguise. Based on how the dm described the encounter its not clear if its because of the rolls the gnome and healer made to craft the disguise OR if they had some other means, perhaps some magical means, to see through the disguise.

they load him up in an armored wagon to pick up other stragglers to the meeting and he gets a view of just how numerous and well armed the templars are. the gnome, wanting to stall some of them from being at the meeting or maybe bringing them to a trap says that he knows of a factory where the children are still working and are being withheld from the meeting. The templars say theres no time but would like to go there later and arrest the factory workers or something so he did the only reasonable thing and set the wagon on fire from the inside, eventually the wagon stopped and the doors were opened and he weaseled away to rejoin the party at the meeting.

mean while the oh so important address the templars wanted to give was a strange one.

-several books are now banned possession and reading of these books is punishable to the full extent of the law. some of these books were: the complete writing of alexander graham bell, the notes and diaries of nikola tesla, the legions, the crystal eye, history books from this year to this year, historical writings from these authors,

-all crystals, precious, and semi precious gems are now outlawed, ownership and use of any is punishable to the full extent of the law

-immediate search and seizure would begin, no back aly, mine, sewer, or forest would go unchecked

this was an odd because most of the citizens and even the players themselves are unable to read in the first place and are much too poor to own any crystals or gems.

never the less how dare they and Hugo threw a bottle at the speaker. the gnome caught the tail end of this and he, the healer, and the healers sibling set to starting a riot. claiming that these new regulations were going to raise taxes and the seizure of the gems was literal out right theft from people too poor to probably have any of worth anyway, it would disrupt businesses and the searching would be more like ransacking and vandalism.

hugo, the one handed girl, jamie, and the gnome then head off to the library once the riot seems to be getting going and the templars were all distracted. the healer- wearing a stolen high ranking gang uniform meets up with some lower ranking members if that gang and convinces them that increased templar activity would mean without a doubt a crack down on their criminal activity. Sooner or later whatever hold the street gangs have over the people would no longer suit the forces that allowed them to gain so much power. these people spread that word. the people are in a full on frenzy now.

Its also worth noting that a particular new npc was pointed out to us more than once during all of this: a very burly bald and beardless man well over seven feet tall but has otherwise only human features.

the group at the library find several books to steal but not quite enough and certainly not all the right ones. with further searching a secret door doubling as a book self hiding a spiral stair case is found and the one handed girl- being the one who can read the best of the lot is sent down to investigate. the rest stay upstairs waiting to hear her scream for help and to defend their position. the one handed girl finds several more books that the templars had listed as illegal but ALSO one that had a solid black binding and hundreds of blank black pages. upon picking it up she feels a powerful connection to it.

several templars enter the library and a fight begins, but it is quickly ended by the new oddly specific but unnamed npc. the group escapes, calling bruce the cabby to gather the party, drop three of members, healer, healers sibling and gnome head to the ruins hospital to loot. since there would be no one around to stop them what with the mayhem and murder happening. on the way the healers sibling witnesses and exchange between a templar and a higher ranking gang member, an exchange that suggested if the the two factions had any sort of agreement it was probably over/off the table now... but another interpretation could be: shut mouth don’t talk about that where someone could hear/see you. we don’t know yet.

heres where I got confused because the prty split up, at some point during the looting the healer found a strage door that the bombing had uncovered? or made easier to access because it wasnt hidden anymore? with the gnomes help they enter leaving the sibling to continue to loot. there was a long tunnel? and then a strange chamber with strange device that when described was probably a tesla coil. There was also an unusually large person guarding the room about 8 feet tall and very burly. there was also a book in there. I’m pretty sure he was guarding the book, which I assume was the writings of tesla based on context. they gnome and healer question the guardian trying to figure out what he was and why he was there. for some reason a fight begins? the tesla coil is part of some kind of trap system that does some clever stuff but I didn’t catch it. the two kill him and loot his body we didn’t get a description of his face i’m pretty sure it was too messed up from the fight? or maybe I just missed it, but I cant help but wonder if he too was bald and beardless?

when the group that headed to the cabin arrived, the one handed girl had begun investigating the books and discovered a note: unfortunately the note was a prop and the only one who could actually read all of the dms handwriting was me but HUGO cant read for shit, I’m not even sure he knew what books were until that day. but I don’t think the bits I picked out that others couldnt read were that important.

what it amounted to seemed to be that, something happened and it might happen again and they- the templars we assume -could not let that happen. I’m pretty sure I read a bit that said like- ‘we cannot allow ‘them’ to rise again,” but I wont know if that particular bit is important until the rest of the books are examined but even if it is I think think the group will be fine.

there was also a very old bank note worth over 200 coppers but probably needs to be appraised, at least to figure out how old those books are/how long they were in that secret room? idk but I’m sure theres something important there... surely its not just because the dm is concerned the party will starve to death in winter and thought to give us extra money to survive with.

the three who went to the hospital got back to the cabin, I’m pretty sure they stole a wagon.

the plan is, to examine the books a bit, then wrap them in leather and seal the leather in wax to bury them where we will be building something, then also having some decoy holes dug/filled in? and if a templar is like wtf is all this- we explain that were in the middle of construction or something and thats where we’re building stuff?

but I sort of suspect that have some magical or supernatural means of detecting things? so it might not matter... but if winters coming we probably need to have some weapons and defenses anyway because hungry wildlife is an issue we’ve been told.

the only book not getting buried is the black one- that is staying with the one handed girl. to what end? I’m sure we’ll find out.

Hugo is down to 44lbs FineCoal- the cabby requested payment in furs and meat instead of coal and copper this time around.

the ruffian, the noble, and the nobles guard were not present again, I’m pretty sure they just don’t like showing up to these campaigns with the weird rules.

#90lbs FineCoal #huntsman josiah hugo

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relmyna-verenim · 5 years

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Hey! Could I just ask what’s going ON with Fenroy? I just can’t find any meaning in that text of his except the Burning Tears and the hidden JYGGALAG message? And how’s that information enough for like... saying he’s Sheo? I don’t mean to sound aggressive I’m just genuinely curious and also a sucker for Shivering Isles MetaLore(tm)

nah nah its cool like. mostly my theory is just extremely out there guessing bc i read Way Too Hard into the actual poems in the book, they just come off to me as a fractured kind of recount of a similar journey to the champion’s, made post-mantle, presumably because being absorbed by the godhead or w/e either makes or breaks you. usually breaks.

strap the Fuck in cuz im gonna also sound like a raving lunatic here for a bit

I don't believe it's fair that I'm forced to deal with the stupid. Or the obtuse. Or the pedantic. Yet they give me rules, like Go here and Do that and Eat this and Kill that. They don't know that I know their names. Eventually I'll get to them. And I'll make the rules.

this bitterly alludes to whatever bullshit fenroy could have gone through, as our character the champ did, in order to try and ‘stop’ the greymarch. part of my theory is that not only was he a former champ/mantle, but he absolutely fuckin hated it. this and the various pieces referencing paranoia and overall annoyance at sheo’s constant presence (either before or after the act of mantling is up to debate). i think the book is subtly supposed to be a word of warning to the player, the champ, of what is to come, and what details of the process are being kept from them.

If I learn from my mistakes, will I eventually stop making them? Is there a balance I can achieve, a perfect harmony with my self? Shall I seek that point where there are no more mistakes to be made? All the lessons learned? When that happens, do we die? Do we become gods? Do the gods even want us?

this one is close to the end of the book, presumably, because its close to where fenroy stops being fenroy, stops rejecting the presence of sheo, and starts more or less processing what happened not from the perspective of fenroy but from sheo himself.

from the ravings seen through this interpretation we can conclude that the other entries may have been references to actions fenroy took in the past on his journey to mantling. in particular,

‘Stories are for children and dreamers. Poetry is for weaklings and madmen. Epics glorify the vile and vilify the glorious. Read minds, not words.‘

fenroy was probably a poet or a writer (and poet would in turn fit in with how sheo also enjoys poetry). by the end of his journey, he’s quite bitter about it, because none of that really helped him in this mess. as the second to last entry, the resignation of his fate seems to have set in.

I think it's time to go. He's still in my head, but I think he might leave if I'm quiet. Shh. Shh.

the last entry. frankly, i dont believe fenroy necessarily committed suicide (tho i think he definitely intended to/had ideations), and that was just put in to make you assume he was another maddened mortal. i think the correct end for him is listed here quite plainly; he simply lets sheo stay in his head (though he still desperately wishes he’d leave) and goes quiet. he stops being fenroy.

this, in my theory, is why there are two important laws in the isles, and some of of the best enforced ones (outside of ‘no beard can be cooler than mine’): you can’t kill yourself, and you don’t go to a prison you cant escape. in fact, you’re encouraged to escape prison. these are two laws that may both reflect the suffering of fenroy through the distorted lens of sheo who understands that these things = Are Bad but, as a daedra with a more alien mindset these warp into ‘if you kill yourself you go to the naughty depression island and think about what you did until someone else frees you’ and ‘if you can survive escaping this dungeon you’ve earned your freedom’. two things that sound very reasonable to a daedra who has personal experience with both, but cant quite... get there, when it comes to understanding what the person he used to be went through.

how did the book come to be? who distributed through the isles, if not sheo himself? is he truly warning the future champ? i think its 50/50. 50% sheo did it, 50% haskill actually made sure this happened, and i lean heavily on haskill’s side here because, personally, theres nobody else who truly looks out for you, and other past and future iterations of sheo, than haskill. your new god-assigned bff.

aaaaand thats all i think i have to say about it!! like i said, a lot of far reaches here, but hey its not the reachinest metatheory ive seen lmao

#sheogorath #shivering isles #this is a lot of just absolute jackshit but i put too much effort here not to tag it #Anonymous

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coindex · 7 years

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Bitcoin Reaches End

Bitcoin Reaches End of An Era: Expert Blog Expert Blog Expert Blog is Cointelegraphs new series of articles by crypto industry leaders. It covers everything from Blockchain technology and cryptocurrencies to ICO regulation and investment analysis. If you want to become our guest author and get published on Cointelegraph please send us an email at [email protected]. Calling off 2MB blocks marks the end of a 3-year effort between different political groups inside Bitcoin trying to come to a compromise. Core developers may feel like they have won the battle but a silent majority will leave quietly selling their coins and driving down price over time. At the same time it marks the beginning of a new age in human history. One where individuals have a freedom of choice and a freedom of exit. New York Agreement called off I was fully expecting Nov 16th to be an apocalypse for Bitcoin. Over 80% of miners were signaling support for 2MB blocks and several hundred of the largest Bitcoin exchanges and companies had signed an agreement to support the block size increase. Despite businesses planning for 2MB blocks much of the Bitcoin user community and core development team was prepared to reject the software change which would split the Bitcoin network in a most disruptive way. The split would have been a disaster for Bitcoin. However the price of Bitcoin has been reaching new all-time-highs because uninformed investors have been conditioned to think that a fork in Bitcoin means that you get free coins. That was the case with Bitcoin Cash but the chain split planned for Nov 16th would have been very different. Under the SegWit2x split scenario I dont think it would have been possible for anyone to agree which was the real Bitcoin chain anymore. Large companies like Coinbase had agreed to support both chains. The 2MB chain planned to launch with no replay protection for users which would have caused massive confusion and loss of funds. As the first clean fork of Bitcoin with a clear plan and goal of being business-friendly I expected Bitcoin Cash to be a big winner. The price of Bitcoin Cash has gone up nearly 100% in the past two weeks with many investors speculating on a Cashening. Bitcoin will lose market share Joseph Poon inventor of Bitcoins still-in-development lightning network said recently: When a party starts to suck you leave. You can try to fix it but the cleanest solution is to just get out A lot of Blockchain is increasing the freedom for individuals and part of that is having the flexibility to leave and to make the choices that you want to at any point in time. Two large factions of the Bitcoin ecosystem reached an impasse. For individuals and corporations who no longer find the transaction fees and scalability acceptable in Bitcoin the simplest solution is to leave. Those individuals will dump their $7500 (down to $6600 at press time) Bitcoin on first time buyers as they slowly get out. Dumb Money pouring into Bitcoin People are exuberant about the price of Bitcoin increasing to nearly 7x the price it was at the beginning of the year. Real-life meetups are full of new faces and first-time investors. The Bitcoin subreddit is full of people cheering each other on about buying their first 0.1 BTC and expecting a 10x annual ROI. One of the bullish pieces of news driving the mania is that the CME Group plans to add Bitcoin futures this year potentially making Bitcoin available to billions of dollars worth of new investors. However Wall Street hedge fund investors are not suckers. Even if a hedge fund wants to buy into Bitcoin they might try to short it first to drive the price down and shake out weak holders. If they can cause a few billion in losses from the people who bought the top by shorting it all the way down to $3000 (where it was a few months ago) they will. Blockchains: New kind of entity Blockchains are a new kind of entity much in the same way that corporations with shareholders were a new kind of entity invented 400 years ago. Today corporations are able to lobby Congress and have many of the same rights as humans. We will see Blockchains also gain access to these rights in the near future. I fully expect the market cap of all crypto tokens to increase exponentially over the next few years but this is not a winner-take-all scenario. Today mainstream media financial advisors are touting Bitcoin as the new gold but it cant ever be that. To get a sense of how its different imagine a universe where anyone could create a new kind of metal with essentially the same properties of gold. Expecting Bitcoin to have the majority market share of Blockchains in the future is about as ridiculous as expecting the East India Company to be more valuable than all other corporations combined today. Demand for Bitcoin and rise of crypto-ruble Through much of 20142015 the price of Bitcoin declined. However in 20162017 we started to see some larger demand for Bitcoin driven by ransomware Ponzi schemes like MMM Chinese citizens evading capital controls and a means of transferring value into other Blockchain tokens (ICOs). Russia has recently announced that they are looking into developing their own crypto-ruble. The crypto-ruble will feature a 13% tax into and out of paper fiat if the redeemer is unable to provide documentation of the transaction history. Because Russia will be much more centralized and efficient than Bitcoin at processing transactions I expect the crypto-ruble to be an attractive alternative to Bitcoin for ransomware people escaping hyper-inflation and Chinese citizens circumventing capital controls (especially in the event of a Bitcoin bear market). The Chinese government shut down the BTCC exchange last month with rumors that they may pursue a crypto-yuan as well. Its clear that some very big players are ready to enter this market and they arent interested in sharing their money with Mr. Nakamoto. Disclaimer: The views and interpretations in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Cointelegraph. Bio Rhett Creighton helped create the Zclassic and Zen forks of Zcash (Over $50M market cap) and more recently Whalecoin. He contributed to the Bitcoin Core test suite and is an MIT alum. Author: Rhett Creighton Follow us on Facebook

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