#we got that autism bond

[tricoufamily]

visiting the hometown

(want everyone to know this edit came to me in a dream and i changed the lore just to do it)

#in the dream i was like editing it but i was also there? it was weird. it started as a dream about lawson in a zombie apocalypse #ok important tags first so i can write an essay #ts4 #ts4 render #ts4 edit #the sims 4 #beckett #lawson #blood sports #but yeah if you haven't been here before beckett and lawson never knew each other as kids #if they did it would be a butterfly effect and mess w a bunch of other plot details. so i decided to work around it #also if ur new they've had a friends with benefits thing going on for a long time but lawson is in love with him. beck doesn't know #originally beckett was put in foster care as a baby bc of neglect and was bounced around foster homes for years #he was a troubled child always getting in fights a kleptomaniac undiagnosed autism etc etc foster families tried and just didn't want him #then when he was around 12 a very nice old lady named cora got him and they ended up forming a great bond they loved each other #she was going to adopt him then when beckett was around 15 or 16 his birth mother reentered the picture and wanted him back #it started a really nasty legal battle and cora died. we can't say for sure it was the stress of this fight but beckett certainly thinks so #anyway he did go back with his birth mother and things got really bad for him. he dropped out of school started doing worse crimes and so o #but none of that is what even changed #now LAWSON is also from west virigina like beckett. it's a small town lawson was new he had no friends #he was a very clingy possessive child who cried and threw tantrums so much #he met beckett and the rest is history. beckett didn't really mind how lawson acted he didn't really find him annoying like everyone elsedi #besides he didn't have friends either #lawson has wealthy parents they were welcoming to beckett at first if a little apprehensive. then he stole something from their house #and lawson wasn't allowed to hang out with him anymore. but he still did in secret. they still have no idea that beckett's even still aroun #or just how involved lawson is with him and his. activities 😬 they just think he's their good little college boy #in the original beckett moved to Not Gotham City when his mother got him back but in this version lawson is going to college there #and beckett's been distant from him for a while things are awful for him and lawson says hey. what if you gave the city a try. and he did #so really you could say the events of blood sports are all lawson's fault the end

[cursed-clock-shop]

Marietta made personalized quilts for all the children before they were born. Except John N, where it was obviously made after he was found in the river.

#they all have their names inscribed #that's why she couldn't just repurposed margaret's #also that would be so fucking depressing omg #nah she just kept it in her depression corner™ for the rest of her life #The girls are all just vaguely baby themed #but john n got a cute little river border #don't ask how she knew the gender of the kids before they came out #she's a wizard idk #failure: a love story #failure a love story #marietta fail #john n fail #we don't really see a lot of those two bonding #idk i was just drawing up house plans and needed more clutter so here ya go #autism #adhd #quilting

[cozycreaturescorner]

okay 1. my costumes Fuck 2. i love this cast and i'm bonding more with people !

#emmett is yelling #black dress pants w a shiny goldenish button up #and a fuckin banger for the final song #red spandex that covers me from me shoulders to upper thighs. a jacket vest thing with ribbons of fabric attached. fishnets. cowboy boots #chatted a bunch with two cast members while we were waiting around and bonded over transness/queerness and then autism w one of them #and another person invited me and the person who was giving us both rides room into her dorm for some wine and a good long chat #which i came back from a bit ago and was absolutely lovely. two super kind and talented folks i'm glad i got to hang out w them like that #pleasure zone #<3

[aroaceleovaldez]

Do you have any fun Piper headcanons?

BOY DO I

She wears velcro shoes. they're the gaudiest, tackiest looking ones she could find that fit her from the kid's section. I personally usually like to give her Hello Kitty ones. She wears them cause they're fun and colorful and also ADHD causes problems with fine motor control which can make it hard to tie shoelaces, and the bright colors are great for sensory stuff, so colorful kid's velcro sneakers it is. This is so important to me.

Hair ties! I like to give her two braids down the side of her face tied off with big chunky bright hair ties. My hc with that is that she braids her hair as a stim, and those are just the easiest chunks of hair to braid and unbraid idly (source: that was one of my stims back when i had long hair), plus probably chews on them as another stim (she needs a chew necklace real bad she'll get one eventually). The hair ties being bright colors is once again sensory stimulation from bright colored clothing/accessories go brrr, they bonus as an extra fidget, and also she adores tacky/gaudy stuff and anti-fashion so they go right in with her aesthetic (or lack-there-of).

Okay so yknow how everybody started drawing Piper with beaded earrings. I disagree with the style of earrings everybody gives her - most people go with giving her BIG dangly beaded earrings. I don't think she's a big earrings person, or particularly a dangly earrings person, or at least not a "stylish" big earrings person. I DO however think she'd 100% adore beaded fandom earrings, like these hello kitty ones, or these Kiki's Delivery Service ones.

In general i think she owns so much youtuber merch. It is a solid staple of her wardrobe. The sillier and stupider, the better. She DEFINITELY has the GMM "Everybody knows i love lesbians" merch. She is the target demographic of that ridiculous redbubble merch stuff that's like, a throw blanket that's a collage of insert-youtuber-here's face. Also just general fandom merch. Again, the more ridiculous the better. She hates fashion you KNOW she's mix-and-matching cosplay pieces at least half out of spite just for fun.

She also 100% buys jackbox Tee-KO tshirts and has a whole collection of them.

Because I like giving Piper at least some sense of "I know people who exist outside of the main cast of protagonists" (that is severely lacking in HoO) i like to hc that Shel is an old childhood friend of hers that was like neighbors with her grandpa or something similar, so whenever Piper would visit they would hang out. When Piper moves to Oklahoma they start hanging out again and start dating.

She has very eclectic music tastes. When she was younger it was mostly she hated everything "popular" out of principle but as she got older it's just anything, though a general lean for stuff a la 2000s top hits, cause she is not immune to nostalgia. or late 2000s emo.

Contrary to popular fanon I don't hc that Piper and Leo were "true" friends pre-Hera memory shake-up. I imagine they had one of those school alliances you sometimes make where you see each other every day and you prefer working with them during class versus whoever else but you know like all of 4 things about them including their name and you've never hung out outside of class before. Immediately after their TLH quest they shift to more of a "we are in a new environment (hell of a situation with ADHD/autism) full of strangers (hell. hell on earth) but we know who each other are and are already familiar with one another so. CAMARADERIE." and by the end of the Argo II quest it's a "okay we're ACTUALLY proper friends now." They're not each other's best friends (Piper's is Annabeth and Leo's is Hazel) but they have a VERY strong unique bond of "we've been through this with each other from the beginning, since before all this demigod stuff."

Piper is very "queer label fuckery" to me. She'd LOVE defying boxes and just messing around with all of that. She's digging deep to find niche labels and using atypical combos and it's a really great identity sandbox for her. Also messing around with gendered language in a similar manner.

I don't care what canon says she and Drew eventually warm up to each other and become good siblings to me. Piper unlearns her internalized misogyny and Drew unlearns some of her toxic femininity and they learn to appreciate each other's perspectives - Drew eventually comes to find Piper's perspectives on fashion and the entertainment industry fascinating and Piper respects how outspoken and self-advocating Drew is. They get really into DIY fashion projects together - Piper's goal is to get Drew hooked on alt fashion and it's working.

#pjo #riordanverse #piper mclean #ask #Anonymous #headcanon #headcanons #long post // #i have more piper hcs but these are most of the fun/silly ones

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for not noticing I hurt my friend's feelings?

I (24F) had a somewhat close friend (24F) whom I've known since highschool but only got closer to recently. I've had a friend crush on her forever and apparently she did too. We share a lot of interests and we're both neurodivergent (I'm diagnosed with adhd, and we're almost certain she has autism). We also sort of bonded over a shared trauma -- basically we got two-timed several years ago by a really abusive asshole.

Anyway something happened a couple of months ago and I feel our friendship has gone downhill since then. It was multiple occasions really: what would happen is that I would say something impulsively, and she would misinterpret it and get sensitive about it, we talk it out, I apologize, and we move on. But one time it was a bit too much that i burst into tears while texting her because I felt I really hurt her and I felt that all my friendships will go downhill because whenever I get comfortable with someone I just completely lose my filter and end up hurting them. What happened that day was that we were hanging out and a guy apparently told her something sexist but I didn't hear him. She came to me to complain and I sort of brushed it off because from the way she said it happened it just seemed he was vaguely pointing out something but I later understood that I was just wrong. Then her dress had a tiny hole which I pointed out to her in front of my boyfriend rather impulsively and she got really upset about that. Later on I was telling her about a book I'd read that had great autism representation that didn't have the character just be -- and here I did the dinosaur arms thing (no offense whatsoever to people who do that; I know full well it's a common thing, I was just saying the character had more to him than just that). The problem is that she didn't hear the part where I was talking about a book character because we were changing tables in a crowded cafe and I was just talking non-stop because that's what I do and she thought I just did the dinosaur arms out of nowhere and got offended but didn't say so except over text later and just looked unwell for the rest of the next half hour before she suddenly excused herself and left. That day she texted me about all of these things and we talked it out and I pretended that I was not literally having a meltdown all while apologizing (but not before I tried to plead my case a bit). This all happened on the same day, but before that there were other occasions too. One time she would be talking about something, then I change the subject, then she'd say I know you didn't mean to but I wanted you to give a reply to what I just said. Another time we had a particularly bad exam which I did okay on, but she was telling about how she botched it. I couldn't tell from her face how serious it was and I gave her what i thought was a sympathetic smile (which she later told me was a weird smile) because I really didn't know what to say and then turned away to look for my boyfriend to check on him as well. She told me that day that she felt that I brushed her off when she was having a difficult time and didn't console her enough.

It's just multiple things that made me feel that I need to be more on guard around her for her sake. She moved to another city recently and even before that we were texting less and less. I even asked her if she was upset about the cafe day and she said no since I apologized and we talked it out, but I could feel something in our relationship changed. It just felt like such a shame because I felt a great connection between us and I have massive difficulties when it comes to making friends. She was sort of my last friend that I felt close to aside from my boyfriend, and now I can't help thinking that the problem has always been me.

Sorry if the post was too long and sorry for the sob story lol

#aita #am i the asshole

[johannestevans]

i wanted to write a BIG essay on disability in House MD but the thing is that as it goes on the show plays and delves with the themes a bit differently - like in s1 they begin to introduce some addict stuff but not too much, and much less of the big grapples with house's own medical agency etc by his friends and coworkers

so i think i'm gonna do an essay series, set up some main themes around disability and autonomy in house

the first things will obviously be about the nature of house's own disability, firstly talking about his physical disability - yes, the lack of mobility from his leg and his reliance on his cane, and also the chronic pain that that comes with, but also specifically noting that house became disabled later in life and was previously extremely physically active

while the themes of house being an addict are extremely overstated because of the us' manufactured opioid crisis and its dehumanisation of addicts due to its racist and eugenicist "war on drugs", it's also noteworthy that he used to exercise all day every day on top of fucking and playing with substances on the side. no one minded this because his "addiction" to exercise was fun and sexy and healthy, bc he was making his own pain-killing substances rather than taking a pill

and then also talking about house's mental health issues - evidence of his autism and the way that people hate specifically his autistic traits, even when they're not actually causing them problems, and the way in which house masks and performs certain emotional responses, but more so like. his depression and his loss of identity as a disabled man, and his difficulties being OKAY with his disability when everyone around him hates disability

so apart from that evidence, the points of house grappling with this stuff will be:

house bonding with other disabled patients - in cases of chronic pain, lost physical mobility, and also mental illness and/or neurodivergence

and house specifically understanding disabled people's perspectives, or thinking about the PRACTICAL needs of the person they're treating or engaging with rather than what society cares about or what the hospital thinks is "appropriate" or "proper"

house bullying abled people for being Weird

times where house makes commentary about the injustice of the system (when he points out that the hospital is designed not to treat the poor, chronically sick, etc)

house being anxious and defensive of his own bodily autonomy (eg when ppl are trying to control his pain management or force him into systems that don't work, take over his medical autonomy, in general try to physically control his behaviours)

esp bc season 1 culminates in the stacy episode where we find that like... so much of house's trauma is not just being disabled

but the fact that stacy OVERRODE his desires, waiting for him to be put into a medically induced coma so that she could make "the best" decision for him and literally being the cause of his current disability. esp bc like...

she specifically went for the middle ground that he rejected, she was NOT a doctor

and in so doing she. invented his chronic pain. like there's a reason that in that same episode, we see the volleyball player who gets an amputation and is able to go back to sports - yes, house is a lot older than that volleyball player, but like

if he had either treated the infarction successfully or just got an amputation so that he could later work with a prostheses, house thinks he would have done much better

and so much of his TERROR around trusting others - not just stacy but wilson, cuddy, anybody else - is because of that. the one person he loved and trusted overrode his desires and created the hell he lives in where he's just in constant agony and he hates it, and the worst part is like

everyone tells him it's his fault. no one cares about what stacy did to him, that she manipulated him. every day they tell house how terrible it is that he does that to others, but when it's what happened to him and he lives in hell, it's on him because he's Mean and Too Autistic and he should just Stop Being In Pain etc

god it kills me.

BUT YEAH i think. season by season is gonna be a lot better to track the development of these themes and the way they shift and change from season to season - also idefk if i'll be able to stick with like. the last three seasons bc they just suck so ba dhfskjjgh

BUT WE'LL SEE

#house md #gregory house

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

NPD culture is hating the fact that it’s called “supply”, it makes it sound like we’re parasites or something. I know it’s called supply for other personality disorders, but it feels odd. I feel there is a better way to describe the need to regulate self esteem, etc., in personality disorders. To be honest, there’s a lot of ableist language that describes personality disorders in the DSM-V; they describe us like we’re animals, especially from what I’ve seen on Wikipedia. I remember seeing one article talking about “breeding” those with ASPD (but referring to them with ableist terms), it was fucking disgusting. We shouldn’t be seen as inferior and less than Neurotypicals (and Non-Cluster-Bs) for having Cluster B disorders, we are not parasites for having higher support needs. I’m sick of being seen as a burden just because I got dealt a bad hand in my life and now I need extra support because my brain works differently. Accommodations for other disorders like anxiety, depression, autism, etc., are not called supply. They’re support needs and accommodations. So why can’t they be called support needs and accommodations for Cluster Bs then (since that’s what they are)? I understand that some people prefer to call it supply and this isn’t targeted at them, I just don’t understand why it’s called supply. Of course I don’t expect people to bend over backwards for me and do everything for me, but some accommodations and boundaries would be nice, you know? I’m sick of being seen as inconvenient and needy for having basic needs, for needing more support and help than others, for being different. So many people are unwilling to bond and connect with me because I’m too “intense” or I’m “needy”. It’s not my fault I was messed up in childhood, and it’s not their fault either. But if it’s socially acceptable to give those with “acceptable disorders” accommodations, then Cluster Bs (and other stigmatized disorders) should also receive appropriate support. For example, those with anxiety can be given accommodations such as a safe place to go when they’re overwhelmed or fidgets. Support needs are different for everyone, but for a Cluster B it could maybe look like people asking before giving constructive criticism and feedback (they should technically already be doing that), etc. Fuck, I’m rambling again. I guess that’s my way of saying I’m sick of being seen as less than other people and a burden on society just because I was traumatized!

.

#^^^ #npd culture is #npd #actually narcissistic #actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #cluster b

[solusprime987]

I was supposed to do this weeks ago so i apologise for the delay but i finally got a chance to write the post about Medix and how his autism is portrayed in Rescue bots academy, I apologise If this post doesn't make much sense or if the grammer is poor since I'm very tired but I wanted to rant about this adorable lil medic so much that sleep came second lol

In season 1 episode 30 when wedge rejects wess's offer to help him and makes him sad Medix literally pulls out a datapad with different emotions and presumably descriptions of said emotions, I loved this moment! Not only did it subvert the trope of the autistic coded character saying something insensitive for "humour" but it also showed something I've never seen in a show before, an autistic character using something to help them in a situation they don't know how to deal with, most shows I've seen have either had the character say something insensitive, say something rude or just not care when someone around them is upset

Obviously this isn't accurate to autistic people at all, we might not realise at first that someone is upset around us due to not understanding social cues but when we do realise we want so badly to help and make the person feel better but we just don't know how particularly if we don't know that person, So to see Medix, a character who's been shown to not understand emotions or social cues, use something to help him work around this instead of the show depicting him as rude, unfeeling or faulty made me feel incredibly happy and represented seeing as I'm also an autistic person who uses a variety of items to help me function in this world ( I also really wish that I had an ipad that told me how someone was feeling lol)

As well as this, the show also does a brilliant job of showing how the despite the other students not understanding Medix they are willing to learn and apologise when they realise they've upset him as seen in season 1 episode 35 Life of the party when they refer to him as a "stick in the mud" and in the season 1 episode "Suprise, Medix!" Where they assume his dislike of surprises can be changed by throwing him a suprise however by the end of the episode the other recruits realise their mistake and apologise, compared to other shows where the other characters borderline hate the autistic character just for existing this is a breathe of fresh air and wonderful to see.

As well as everything I mentioned previously I also want to gush about Medix and his love of animals, this aspect of his character is especially relatable for me and I'm sure many other autistics as well, This being that Medix understands and bonds with animals much easier then he does other bots or people, I love seeing an autistic character be depicted as loving and caring towards animals because that's often how it is in real life obviously i don't speak for all autistic people but for me personally I've always been able to connect with and understand animals better then people so I adore this part of Medix's character plus every interaction he has with animals is adorable to watch

In other words I love and relate a lot to Medix and I think he's one of the best autistic characters that I've ever had the joy of watching and he truly deserves more appreciation and love in this fandom along with Chase who is the next character I'll be doing a post on and it'll probably be much longer then this post because as much as I love Rescue bots academy it doesn't hold a candle to Rescue bots which I absolutely adore more then any Transformers media with the exception of MTMTE

#maccadam #rescue bots academy #rba medix #actually autistic #neurodivergent #autistic thoughts

[mallowmaenad]

me: Yeah hey welcome I'm looking for a mercenary or two to help me clear a giant spider den. Avarice the Elven Spellblade: Hrm... well~ Normally I'd normally say I'm too rich for your blood... but it's hard to refuse such a pretty face... though in exchange I may call in a 'favor' later down the line me, now visibly uncomfortable: Actually I think I'll look for someone else I don't think you're a good fit for this adventure. Avarice the Elven Spellblade: B-but sera!! Don't you know I'm the bastard son of the duke of the Forest Evergreen?? I-I'm sure we'll grow close on this journey... I have such sights to show you. me, turning to the dirty guy in chainmail: Hey what's your name? Warrior dude that just learned he exists: Zog. me: Zog can you come help me? Zog: 50 gold. me: You got a deal, bud.

[me and zog then become best of friends and I learn about the pet bunny rabbit he had as a child and his people's unique and interesting folk religion, we love each other like siblings and will never see one another's genitals, bonding over our undiagnosed autism and dealing a lot of damage in one strike]

#rpg #fantasy

[cienie-isengardu]

Hot take: It's okay that Bi-Han doesn't like Tomas. He doesn't have to see him as family or like him.

By the addition of “Hot take” I assume this is not something that fandom at large figured out by themselves yet. Can’t say I’m surprised though. Yes, it is okay for Bi-Han to not like or see Tomas as family, as no one can be - nor should be - forced to like anyone just because others (adults) expect it. That alone doesn’t make Bi-Han an evil person, even if Tomas feels rejected in the process, as each person will define what makes one a family differently. 

Their brotherhood was forced on both, as none had any say in Grandmaster’s decision to adopt the orphaned and traumatized boy (how they adapted to the situation is another matter and so far, we know more about Smoke’s process of adaptation than Bi-Han’s). We know only small bits of what happened that significant day, but so far sources - the way the informations are phased at least - feel to me like the Grandmaster adopted the boy less for Tomas’ sake and more to smother his own guilt 

[...] Having accidentally trespassed onto Lin Kuei lands, they were attacked. Smoke was orphaned. Ashamed by his warriors' actions, the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster adopted Smoke. He raised him alongside his sons, Sub-Zero and Scorpion. [Smoke’s BIO]

and/or to save his honor:

Kitana: "You are Kuai Liang's adopted brother?" Smoke: "His father's honor demanded that he take me in." 

So this is not a situation as if Bi-Han urged father to give him another younger brother and dad complied to make his son happy but once he brought the orphaned Tomas, Bi-Han decided nope, I change my mind and from on I will act as a spoiled brat that didn’t get what he wanted. Tomas did not choose to be orphaned nor to be adopted (as he himself admitted he did not think being taken in by Lin Kuei was anything good for him at that time), the same as Bi-Han was not asked by Grandmaster for approval (and even if he was, his objection apparently wasn’t taken into account as Grandmaster still adopted Tomas).

Smoke: "Father wanted us to be brothers." Sub Zero: "Yet another of the old man's foolish dreams." 

Note this: father wanted. Not hoped they will eventually find a common ground despite the not the best circumstances. He wanted to save honor. He wanted them to be brothers. Again, not sounding as taking into account what the kids wished for or needed and who knows, maybe Grandmaster wanted it so much, he pushed too hard to get the most comfortable solution for his own conscience - except Bi-Han simply never clicked with Tomas, whatever due to incompatible personalities or factors beyond their good will? I presume they all were still enough young when Tomas was brought into picture, but if Bi-Han is the eldest out of them three, then he could had his own duties that simply didn’t give him enough time to bond with the (culturally and ethically) different kid the way Kuai Liang did, again presumably, as closer in age to Tomas. 

But even if Bi-Han simply didn’t like Tomas, then it is still okay, because people can’t be forced to love or like others. Not liking someone though doesn’t give anyone the right to act disrespectful - yet so far, we only heard he was cold to Tomas but that does not necessary mean being intentionally cruel either. A human can be polite and still come off as emotionally cold (and let’s not forget that people can also be naturally introverts or fall into the autism/asocial disorders spectrum that makes it difficult to establish good relationships with strangers. We are familiar with MK1 Bi-Han for what? Maybe twenty minutes of story mode and through intro-dialogues that only gives us a sense of who he is at this point. We don’t even have an idea if cryomancer genes affect his perception of the world or behavior). 

Bi-Han as an adult person seems to come to terms with the situation to some extent and got used to the idea of an additional brother - his and Tomas relationship is tense and complicated but it is now tainted by their conscious choices, however in the past, if Bi-Han didn’t like Tomas for whatever understandable or petty reason, no one can demand from a kid to act as an adult and control/smooth their own emotions to solve the problem adults created in the first place. The whole situation wasn’t fair to Tomas and so wasn’t to Bi-Han either. 

Would it be sad to learn that Bi-Han has never liked Tomas or never come to love him the way he loved his biological brother? Yes. But not liking someone or not considering someone a family member is not a crime itself and is not an indication of being inherently evil. Be it fictional characters or real human beings, people sometimes simply don't like each other and they have the right to feel that way. Not liking each other though does not mean anyone is allowed to abuse or disrespect others, just to be clear here.

I like to think this should be obvious, but knowing fandom, it may indeed be the hot take.

#mortal kombat #my replies #bi han #sub zero #tomas vrbada #smoke #bi han & tomas #would i like them to be good bros? of course! #but i will respect if they don't like each other or if only bi han doesn't like tomas #because interpersonal relationships aren't either good or bad #some are complicated by various factors #on which some we have control while on others don't #i get that parents want their children to get along but forcing them to bond when it doesn't work is just wrong way to handle the problem #i know fandom likes to make Tomas the Cinnamon Roll #but Tomas is not some lost puppy that if you don't like him you must be the embodiment of all evil #where people ever get those ideas? Or no I don't wanna know that actually

[stillfrownyclownlol]

We reached our viewership goal of exactly 1 person, so genderbent doodles + notes under the cut

Asher Banner

-i lowkey forgot why I put him as 16 I think I just drew him as like a sophomore or smth-

-the most stone faced mf ever

-he got his autism diagnosis amen. He doesn't bother masking he's just really antisocial

-He flops so hard around Aida every time (she jumpscares him)

Aida Clark

-sk8ter girl 😔 and she does parkour too. Just for fun.

-a little more sensitive. If she takes her meds (she got diagnosed too yay!) She's super spaced out tho.

-grows her roots out before dyeing her hair. Poking holes in her face is also interesting (piercings)

-wants to kiss Asher so bad it makes her look stupid. The biggest girl failure in the universe

"Lo" Fields

-Lo is short for smth but she's too embarrassed by her full name.

-got socialized to be even more shy and sensitive than in canon- 🫠 she's permanently 4 seconds away from a nervous breakdown

-Good Christian granddaughter. (The guilt is eating her alive)

-Still does Barron's homework she just also has to deal with his misogynistic comments (I'm too lazy to genderbend everybody)

Tylar Hernández

-parentified to hell 🤧 mothers her brother too much

-on the varsity baseball team at school. Used to do track.

-consistently annoyed and has a rbf.

-in love with a nerd- WHO SAID THAT-

"Benny" Clark

-Short for Benjamina, dies if you use her full name

-still 6ft tall and she's really strong from all the street fighting :(

-camera girl for all of Aida's extreme stunts, kinda stressed out-

-the eepiest girl ever

Tailer Hernández

-he so smiley :) happiest guy :)

-wants his sister to work less hard :< inside he's very guilty

-works at an auto repair shop part time. Smells like motor oil.

-wants to grow his hair out but Ty always cuts it and he hasn't had the heart to tell her yet (cuz he wants to sibling bond)

#sbg #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg (webtoon) #aiden clark #ashlyn banner #tyler hernández #taylor hernández #logan fields #ben clark #genderbend

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Overanalyzing Raphael's fear...

Ok here we go again, fourth time's the charm!

Ok so this will be analyzing a fear we saw and the fear we almost saw... on with the show!

We all know that ROTTMNT Raphael has separation anxiety, and when that is aggravated, it results in DID (dissociative identity disorder), and he becomes "Savage Raph". But so long as he was with people he knew and in a place he felt safe, it never got too bad. But that was the show, this is an alternate universe in which Raphael grew up as an only child with a mob boss and gladiator ringmaster as a mother.

...I think that Raph's anxiety would have been immensely worse without the safety of his brothers with him. There's something about having your siblings by your side that is just utterly comforting, and adding the fact that the Hamato clan members have a special power that relies on familial trust is an extra factor! But Raph grew up without that. As a result, his anxieties are worse, his fears innumerable, and when it comes to his separation anxiety, he doesn't just go "savage"... he goes nuclear.

So why was Leo the one to help him? When he doesn't really seem to care that much about the "family" they have, when Mikey would most likely be the one to help with the fear fungus (he's already helped two people!), when he has the knowledge and experience and mystic know-how? Why was Leo the one to come first, to break the trance? Answer: because he's done it before. About midway through the story, the group take a trek through the woods together and start to bond as brothers. They even tell each other special needs they have, such as Mikey's hypoglycemia and ADHD, Leo's insomnia, and Donnie's autism. Raph embarrassingly admits that he has severe separation anxiety, and at times even needs someone to stay with him at night so he can sleep. Mikey volunteers to take that responsibility, but one night when Raphael wakes up, he finds Mikey left him (to answer the call of nature TMI) and starts to panic. He causes a commotion, to which Leo is the one to respond. Leo helps to calm Raphael down, and even stays with him afterwards to help him fall asleep again. So, that's one reason why Leo was the best equipped to help with the fear spores...

...The other reason is kind of obvious, even Leo himself states it in the comic! "I know how scary it is to be alone..." Leo may not have separation anxiety, but his fear of abandonment gives him an understanding of what Raph is going through. Their fears are similar, so they can understand each other best.

Now, on to the deleted scene!

In the alternative scene - which would have been easier and quicker to draw but not quite as angsty - we see Raph argue with Mikey. Mikey scolds Raphael for not being a good brother, for letting everyone down and being a disappointment. Raph has carried expectations for a long while, expectations to be strong, smart, savvy like his mother. Being the adopted son of a business tycoon and mob boss does come with some high standards, even if those standards are simply self-inflicted. Whether or not anyone else thinks that Raph should live up to his mother's and brothers' ideals, he thinks he needs to, and as such struggles with this.

Mikey also mentions how his being in the medbay is not the first time this has happened, and that last time it was Raph's fault. This isn't true, but it is what Raph believes. During the traveling arc - the same one where Leo witnesses Raph's savage separation anxiety - Mikey gives Raphael his food to help him with his hunger, despite knowing that he may not have enough for himself. He lets things go too far, and Mikey starts having his symptoms. Raph feels guilty, and attempts to fix his mistake by getting Mikey some sustenance! Only one problem... they're in the middle of nowhere. Literally the middle of the woods! With nothing to eat for miles! Fortunately, they find a small grove of berries, and Mikey eats to his heart's content! Unfortunately, the grove turns out to be the poisonous "No-No berries", and Mikey soon starts hallucinating and getting ill, even wandering off under the influence and getting himself lost before he passes out. (Don't worry, everything works out in the end!) But anyways, Raphael blames himself for all that happened.

He's the big brother. He's meant to be the responsible one. So why is he always the one screwing things up, being too afraid, too weak. He's afraid that he is not enough. He's afraid of being a disappointment.

#fear of being inadequate #fear of being a disappointment #separation anxiety #rottmnt #writing fears #rottmnt raph #spoilers #rottmnt au #rottmnt until i found you au #until i found you #until i found you au #separated au #rottmnt separated au #fear spores #fear fungus #no fun in fungus #why can i only write angst #angsty fanfic #sweet sweet angst #queen of angst #sibling angst #rottmnt angst

[lackablazeical]

What’s Usagi’s relationship like with each of his siblings? Are they close? Do they know about him and Leo, and how Leo treats him?

If so, how do they feel about it, and do they/have they try/tried to stop it or do something about it?

Chizu: they were never really like. CLOSE close, but they get along the best overall. Both Chizu and Usagi repress and don't often talk about stuff that's bothering them, but that kinda means they'll never really pass that final barrier to BE close. Plus, Chizu blamed herself for Usagi leaving, so there's that thin sprinkle of fear/sadness that hangs. Very awkward, the two of them. Chizu knows about him and Leo (Leo told her about it probably before he even ever said 'hello' to her, lol) but she doesn't have much idea of what goes on. She thinks that Leo is a bit pushy, and feels a tad awkward when he constantly begs her for Usagi stories. If Chizu knew, she'd wage hell and earth against Leo.

I have a doodle for this exact situation >:)

Ishida: Ishida always tried to be a good brother and very vehemently defended Usagi if Tomoe was giving him crap or something. Usagi often treated Ishida as a bit 'fragile' which would annoy Ishida, but they get along very well and love eachother. Ishida tries to always be supportive, and he trusts Usagi. Which. Causes issues. Ishida kinda feels uncomfortable with the relationship, but he trusts Usagi when Usagi tells him that it's fine or something along those lines. So he doesn't get involved. He's kinda like 'well ig some people are like that? Plus we haven't seen Usagi in years, he just changed a lot. That's all. I trust him to tell me the truth'. If Ishida knew, He'd wage war. He wouldn't stop defending Usagi until he was 20 ft under.

Kenichi: they were close when they were kids! Now, Kenichi and him are still close but like. Kenichi really wants it to be like 'old times' and that. That's just not happening. He feels very responsible for Usagi, like he has to defend and protect him (white knight syndrome anyone?). Kenichi is often the one making plans for all the brothers to hang out ('no turtle' days, if you will) and Usagi... when they work out, he likes them. Kenichi HATES Leo and is very very sure that he's doing harm to Usagi, but he can't PROVE it and also Leo would snap him like a twig. Kenichi is working on trying to help Usagi in any way he can, though! Varying levels of success.

Some baby bunnies before all the sad stuff :]

Riko- She was the one who saw him when he ran away. She was always very vehement that he wasn't dead. They didn't talk much, she was more often around Mari but they got along OK :] she likes Leo well enough, she gets along with Mikey better.

Mari- she was very emotionally wise even at a young age, so she caught onto Usagi struggling very often. They enjoyed eachothers company and Mari missed him a lot. Mari doesn't like Leo a huge amount, but she's shy in general. Her and Donnie get along very well tho :] autism buds 🤝

Jotaro: Usagi tries to be present now but its awkward and Usagi just. Has a lot of baggage and it's hard for him to bond. Jotaro loves Usagi, he finds him fun and nice and very patient. Jotaro also LOVESSSSS Leo, Leo is so fun and always plays games with him and he gets to call Leo dad (tho Usagi doesn't like it :((((() and Jotaro loves it!!! He's sad he can't stay with Leo all the time!

Usagi's family loves him, and he loves them. Just... a lot of baggage. And Leo made sure to dig his fingers into every single soft spot until you would be able to see his fingerprints indented in it, if you get what I mean.

#addams! tmnt au #rottmnt au #addams! usagi #rottmnt #addams! miyamotos #addams! ishida #addams! kenichi #addams! jotaro #addams! chizu #addams! leosagi #rise of the tmnt oc #rise of the tmnt au #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles au

[alpaca-clouds]

Hector and Trauma

You know what. I wanna talk about Hector from Castlevania, specifically the Netflix version of the character. (Again: I hate CoD Hector, who just replaces his dead girlfriend for her fucking clone. That's just fucking low.)

As people might've noticed... I am kinda obsessing about this man right now. And the main reason is that... I really do identify with him in a way I have not identified with a fictional character before. I read him as autistic (though I am not sure whether he was supposed to be read that way or just happens to be written in a way that every single autistic person I know reads him so...) and I very much identify with the C-PTSD that he clearly has.

We do not know much about his childhood, other than "lonely kid revives animals to have friends" and "abusive parents". We do not know how far the abuse went, so whether it was just verbal abuse (which we know about) or went into physical abuse. All we know is that at some point he could no longer take it and killed his parents by setting the house on fire and locking them inside. We don't know, how old he was after this and what exactly he did after that. Only that in his early 20s he is somewhere on Rhodes with his undead animals, has already met Dracula once and then agrees to "cull" humans and then creates night creatures for Drac.

Again, there is little information for what has happened in the time in between. But we get enough information to understand that he has been at least somewhat mistreated by other humans, making him wish for humans to be somewhat culled.

Here my interpretation of him being autistic comes in, too. Because... an autistic child with an abusive home will completely lack social skills and hence will probably meet with a lot of abuse from other people. Because he would not know how to act around them.

Something we do see: He kinda seems to understand that Dracula is doing a genocide and not just a cull. But he very willingly ignores it or keeps himself soothed by thinking that he is just misunderstanding it until Carmilla comes in.

Now, Carmilla makes it clear that Dracula lied to him. But she obviously also betrays him and then abuses him. Something that is kinda ignored: During the march to Styria he is constantly abused. He has fresh bruises, when he arrives at Styria, making it rather clear, that he got beaten up constantly during the long march there. So: Say hello to even more trauma.

Along comes Lenore, her original violence against him and then obviously her betrayel. And let me make one thing clear: What she does to him in the finale of season 3 is sexual assault. Maybe not in the legal sense, but speaking of a psychological effect, it clearly is SA.

Obviously at that point we do have season 4. Where he seems kinda... fine. Like, what we see is, that he presents as fine. He is joking with Lenore. He is making his escape plan. He appears to be okay. Which is a state that seems to continue till the end of the show. Heck, we see him smile as Lenore dies........

And that should be a hint on how not-okay he is.

Let me talk about child abuse first. See, here is the thing: Children do not only develop physically, but also psychological and neurological. In that, they need to learn certain things at certain points in time. One of the first things children are supposed to learn, is to trust and mistrust. But for that they need a stable surrounding in which they can trust that they are cared for. Which children, who get abused or neglected, usually do not have. Especially with the dialogue we have from his mother: "I knew you were wrong from the moment you came out of me." (Note: This is another reason I read him as autistic, because at times autism shows even at infant age and without the information it might lead to parents not quite bonding with the child.)

They also need to learn some basic autonomy early on and to deal with self-doubt and shame. Which again abused children, who do not get encouraged to develop autonomy in a healthy environment and often might get shamed cannot develop.

Some other things they need to learn is how to deal with guilt, how to understand consequences, how to develop an identity and also what role they have in society. All things that children, who are abused, cannot properly learn. Additionally here, because Hector clearly has not found his own place in the society he lived in.

And this is something we actually do see in the show. He is absolutely unable to understand whom to trust or to see any red flags. He also is so clearly longing to be loved and praised by someone. Which is why he falls for Dracula and Carmilla and then Lenore. Heck, good chance that his understanding with Varney went something like that.

He is obviously not aware of this, but he is very much compensating for what was not given to him.

There are several characters over the entire story, that note how he has the mind of a child. And part of that is just, that he has childhood trauma and developmental delays because of it. And this delay is used again and again against him.

Something that is very noticable in the show is, that Hector never once cries. No matter how much he is abused and betrayed, he does not cry outside of the flashbacks where he is a kid. Now, in any other show it would not be that noticable, because we rarely do not see men cry in media........ but Castlevania is different here. Castlevania has no qualms letting the men cry.

Now, IRL it is obviously that a lot of men got taught not to cry. Because our society has the entire "boys don't cry" thing going on. BUT... I kinda doubt that is what is going on here.

See, one thing that happens in some cases, when people have amassed too much trauma, is, that they loose the ability for appropriate emotional responses to things happening to them. Mostly because the brain cannot process the emotion normally any longer.

Which is also why I think he is smiling in that last scene. Because... I mean, let's face it. The Lenore death thing has to be fucking traumatizing too. But he just... doesn't quite have the ability to process it in any proper way.

Now, how much of this is intended reading?

Honestly, I do have no idea. But at some points his behavior does make a lot of sense from the CPTSD point of view - and it is even called out by other character. Which kinda makes me think that at least some of it was intended.

Either way: I am rather thinking the man has a lot of healing to do post-canon. Because he not only has to heal from the stuff that happens to him in the series, but also the entire childhood trauma, that so very clearly is not addressed.

And if he addresses that trauma, there will also be a point in which he has to face his guilt. Because that is very much another thing he has not yet done.

Anyways. I adore him. And I want him to be alright. Q-Q

#castlevania #castlevania netflix #media analysis #headcanon #castlevania hector #hector castlevania #cptsd #ptsd #child abuse #cw: child abuse #psychology #essay

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend?

I (32F) broke up with my boyfriend Jack (30M) a few months ago over a couple Issues I've been dealing with: I found out I have a degenerative issue with my eyes and will be going blind, and his dad hates me for being as he quotes "fat, uneducated, and bad with jobs". Note: I am infact obese, I do not have a college degree, and had lost my job 3 times in a row in 6mos before I hit the stable job I'm at now, due to mental breakdowns at work.

Jack has lived with his parents his whole life, and revers them greatly. However I can tell he's going through the same thing I did with my parents- Where they prioritized him getting good grades over his mental health, he constantly apologizes and thinks I will hate and abandon him over very simple things, he rather delve in games than face his problems, because he thinks he is comfortable when it's very much making him feel worse.

I cut contact with my parents 3 years ago for these exact same reasons- They were overbearing, abusive, and without another way to say it: extremely catholic. Because I was financially dependent on them and didn't know any better, I thought I could live with them as an adult because of how expensive housing is where we live.

Eventually I had to start getting therapy because I would have meltdowns so often in school, and found out it was the way that my parents treated me when I was younger, and that I have AuDHD- something my parents denied as me being too stupid and lazy to do anything after high school.I got on medication and though my ADHD improved, i had to continue therapy due to my Autism now having more time to focus and overwhelm me and having to learn to unmask. I've been told my personality did a 180 over this from peers that hadn't seen me pre-pandemic, but I'm happier now, and eventually found a way to move away from my parents and living with my Uncle instead, who instead of belittling me is encouraging my therapy.

I am explaining this, because Jack does the same things I do- he's almost the exact same as I was with my parentls. He has constant meltdowns and spirals, he thinks he's worthless because of the way his Mom and Dad treats him, yet he keeps putting his parents on a pedestal. It's because we seemed to grow up in the same kinds of environment that we bonded and eventually started dating last year.

Us openly dating did not last long, though, because when he introduced me to his parents they immedietely did not like me. They did not like that I wanted to help with dinner, or refuse eating chicken, because Jack is severely allergic to it. They also did not like that I wanted to clean the table and kept sidelooking at me whever we talked.

Because of this simple lunch, for months, they pressured him to break up with me but he wouldn't. He said he loves me as I am, and his parents are just stupid. We even had to start keeping the relationship secret, because his parents would harass him for coming to just pick me up, or meet me at a tennis court so we would play a game or two. His parents can track him through his car, so they always knew where he was.

I told him what I had to do to leave my parents house, but he said it's too hard to do that. My Uncle was sympathetic about this and even discussed with him to move into our house, but he refused that too.

Last month, I went to a vision doctor due to headaches and blurrier than usual vision, and found out that I would be losing my eyesight due to something going on within my eyes. Its extremely stressful for me, and dealing with that, and the constant harassment from Jacks parents, I got very tired. it was getting to the point where he couldnt go out without his parents yelling at him about me for something, we only hung out for once day per month. I didn't want to give them something else to yell about me at him, and I felt it would ease his stress because they would stop bothering him. And, though it seems weird, I hoped it make him uncomfortable enough to do something for himself. So I ended up breaking up with him.

It has really hurt to do this to him- He's someone I love dearly, and he's taken it way harder than I thought. He won't listen to me, But. He does listen to his friends- it's how he asked me out, and at least try out therapy, his friends hyped him up about it so he did it. I feel if his friends help him realize what he needs to do, he'll be more inclined to help himself than me just telling him. And if not, his friends are still there to back him up than me staying near him and having his parents harass him about it.

His friends are mad at me though, and told me I should have just put up with his parents, because in the end I am in love with him and that I actually made the whole situation worse, because he has loss motivation. Even though I am still talking to him and still there for him alongside his friends- I just make myself scarce so his parents don't know we talk. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[blue-blugs]

headcanons for walls erode to dust

These are always kept as a running list in my head when I write fic. They help me stay on track lol.

During the fic timeline:

Though Vi may not see it very often, Jinx and Lux do get into conflict, especially when they first start dating. Jinx has difficulty sorting through how to respond when she feels hurt or rejected by Lux, and Lux takes issue with how Jinx handles it sometimes. But Jinx begins to learn that Lux really, actually likes her, and (in tandem with therapy) starts to ease out of more maladaptive behaviors

Again lmfao, Vi refuses to go to therapy. She just gives me the vibe of someone who's like “uh I'm fine. I'm fine for real. Brb I'm going to go rip a log in half”

Silco is less of a villain in this fic and more of just like. Vander's divorced husband that he talks shit about sometimes to Benzo in front of Vi and Powder lmfao

The few times Vi fucked in college and navigated penetration she was like “idk it's just not my vibe”. And then she took Caitlyn’s dick and she was like “oh. THIS is my vibe”

Jinx saw Caitlyn once and looked at Vi and was like. “Girl someone get her an autism screening”

Caitlyn is like “I'm not autistic. I just have standards. I like things done a certain way and that's okay. And doesn't EVERYONE have trouble navigating social situations? And doesn't EVERYONE fidget like this when they get nervous?” and Jinx is like. : /

Caitlyn takes the online screening questionnaire and it tells her she's very likely to be autistic and she's like “well it's not a medical professional so I'm taking it with a grain of salt” and everyone around her sighs

Post fic:

Don't ask me what law school Caitlyn goes to by the end of the fic. I don't know. But I do think she becomes a really incredible defense attorney, and Vi and Caitlyn end up permanently moving there

Caitlyn, Vi, Viktor, and Jayce go to the mall/on dumb touristy outings sometimes for fun (wlw/mlm solidarity). Caitlyn, Vi, and Viktor often gang up on Jayce during these outings when he's being obnoxious, except for when they’re getting food. Then Caitlyn and Jayce commiserate over how Vi and Viktor only ever want to get burgers

Jayce is very happy his friend Cait is in lesbo city with her lesbo gf

Cait’s dad (Asian coded) spoke a little bit of Cantonese to Caitlyn growing up, but she only knows a few phrases nowadays. Vi asks to learn a little bit and all Caitlyn can teach her is “wash your hands” because Vi very often does need to wash her hands

In my head, Caitlyn is an absolute freak when it comes to sex lmfao. Not that Vi isn't, but Cait is very blunt and often it's Caitlyn initiating “what if we did this” and Vi is like …..*gulp* ok

Jinx and Lux definitely fuck like crazy on the couch after Vi moves out

When Vi and Caitlyn come visit (they're able to visit pretty often since Caitlyn is rich/Vi has a good paying job w Hextech), they often meet up with Vander, Lux, and Jinx, and play dumb board games and eat Vander’s food and play with the cat the Jinx and Lux are not supposed to have

Through the dynamic of good cop/bad cop, Jinx and Lux somehow convince the landlord to let them keep the cat

Pre-fic:

Cait actually grew up in California before moving to the undetermined East Coast setting where she and Vi are at the beginning of the fic. That's why she knows all the local spots

Jayce also lived in California before moving to the undetermined East Coast setting and they bonded about it when they first met

Jayce got more than a few hasty text messages from Caitlyn when he moved back to California while Caitlyn was in college like “please help me Jayce I'm lesbian and I think I'm in love” and she sends like 38272 images of Vi smiling pretty

Ok as tagged, the neurodivergence in this fic isn't a big part of it or anything, but I think Jinx was diagnosed w/ autism/ADHD in her childhood (bc she could not stop being Like That and Vi and Vander were like “this CANNOT just be trauma.”) 

In general:

My conceptualization for the light cannon/CaitVi fic was: (1) jinx and lux are insane and way cooler than caitlyn and vi (2) caitlyn and vi are insane but on the down low and also they're fucking losers lowkey

Vi accuses Caitlyn of hating trying new things in the last chapter, which she does, except for when it comes to trying new ways to fuck Vi. Autism be damned, my girl can slut it up.

For every scene you see of Caitlyn and Jinx bickering, the only thing going through my mind at the time of writing was “autism on autism violence”

I was talking to my sister about how Caitlyn and Jayce are originally from California and move across the country to where Vi lives in an undetermined East Coast area because it's kind of representative of people from Piltover visiting the Undercity and i was like "but i dont know where they actually live geographically. I just know it's kind of trashy", and my sister is like "Topside is California and the Undercity is like... New Jersey" and I almost screamed

So yeah anyway Vi and Caitlyn live in Undercity, New Jersey when they meet in college. Thank you to my sister for enlightening me

*bows* thank you

#arcane #caitvi #caitlyn kiramman #vi arcane #jinx arcane