#well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see.

[zephyrchama]

“Hey, Lucifer,” you chimed.

The demon came to a stop mid-stride and turned around to look at you suspiciously, providing ample time for you to catch up. He decided to give you the benefit of the doubt, despite knowing his brothers use that same tone when they’re about to pester him with nonsense. “What?”

You tilted your head, “would you still love me if I was a worm?”

Lucifer sighed and continued on his way. He had no time for frivolous questions. You scrambled after him. Lucifer was a struggle to keep up with when he wasn’t matching his stride to yours.

“Well?” you demanded an answer. Though, your brisk jog didn’t make you look as intimidating as you would have liked.

He rolled his eyes. You couldn’t actually see, yet you knew. You summoned your most dramatic acting skills.

“I could be cursed to turn into a worm someday! I have to be prepared for anything! Pray tell, would you still love me?”

Without looking back, he responded, “you’re human. That’s already hardly different from a worm.”

You stopped to gasp scandalously. Lucifer threw his head back and let out a deep, devilish laugh.

“Demon!” you scowled.

Lucifer paused again to meet your gaze with a taunting smile. His haughty attitude was at max power, and while arching an eyebrow he asked, “well? Am I wrong?”

It was hard to act mad when he was being so handsome, and he knew it.

#“am I a cool worm? Lucifer? hey?? am I a cool worm???” #obey me #obey me! #omswd #obey me scenarios #obey me shall we date #obey me x mc #obey me swd #obey me fanfic #obey me lucifer x you #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me fic #obey me drabble #obey me fluff #obey me nightbringer #obey me mc #obey me x gender neutral reader

[silverskull]

Chenford and The Rookie S6

This is a post where I vent my frustrations with The Rookie season 6 and the Chenford breakup. I will take questions, but I do not guarantee an answer. Retain the fact that this is a TV show I am mad at, not someone/thing in your personal life.

This month/few weeks haven't been great for me to absorb what happened in the last episodes of the season. Some of the reasons are listed below before I start sounding off.

-Unrelated but irritating:

Working 3 jobs, only 1 is paid. 

Crunch time at all 3 jobs

Visiting family expecting all of my time (same crunch weeks as work)

-Related and disappointing:

Cancelled cameo

Cancelled convention appearance

Sloppy SM and PR, frequently missing Melissa

Short S6

Late S7 renewal announcement

Delayed start S6 and extra-long hiatus before S7

Specifics:

Okay, so in 606 Tim lied - so did Lucy and Lopez. Why was there no IA investigation for them or concern about their honour? We were led to believe in 214 (Casualties) that everyone involved in an off-book mission could be compromised. So now why is the fact that Tim is lying more important than either woman compromising their career? Why is there no acknowledgement of THEIR discomfort? Lucy was already on shaky ground after he let her take the blame for SOME RANDOM SCENE COPS??!!? at the clown murder before her detective exam, but now I’m supposed to be worried about Sergeant Spotless-Record Bradford and his honour?! He could have just let that Ray guy go, or even fucking TOLD SOMEONE. He'd still have saved the Venezuelan, but it would have been above board.

And then, apparently the breakup happened over the aforementioned lying and Tim and Mark’s coverup of Ray’s misdeeds. We got no further clarification on this. And I really tried. I read deeply, DEEPLY into Tim’s reasoning (there are tumblr posts and twitter threads). I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I earnestly plead with people on twitter to give it time. But instead of that patience paying off, all we got was Tim trying to act normal, Lucy justifiably pissed, and generalised "things" opened up in (blackmail) therapy?

(Here’s where people have been coming at me too: I don’t really care about the therapy storyline. Honestly, if it’s not done well, I don’t know why we bother. I'm not out to get therapy, I just don't think it's working here. Just mention it and carry on like with Lucy after DOD, or show some scenes from the damn sessions. But turning the therapist into a blackmailer for Monica, who was selling to The Swiss?!?? or an Argentinian??? (I don’t even know and I do not care, and I will not listen if you try to explain, lalalalalala) How did we even end up here???)

And it PISSES ME OFF that we spent years building up the momentum for there to be turbulence in their relationship over Lucy going UC. We were ready. We were waiting. The traps were laid and baited. And they just went PSYCH! IT’S TIM’S ARMY DAYS THAT ARE THE PROBLEM, EVEN THOUGH WE LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE HE WAS WELL ADJUSTED BACK IN 214 WITH MITCH AND 311 WITH KATIE BARNES LOLOLOL

We have spent SO MUCH time on Tim's backstory. In fact, here's a list!

Isabel - wife -> ex-wife, UC drug addict, unfaithful

Tom Bradford - abusive father

Army - Let Mitch get his leg blown up; told Katie to let it go with a ladybird; unblemished record;

Cop Buddies - Wrigley -> lazy; Mack -> Addict;

Love Interests - Isabel, Rachel, Ashley

Family - Genny and Tyler (and some other nephew, and apparently a niece and a drunk uncle)

Here is what we know about Lucy:

Mother, Vanessa and father, Patrick, are psychologists and hard on Lucy

Mother had an affair with a patient (also named Patrick) who is Lucy's father, but - boo - he's dead. So is bff Jackson.

Aunt Amy and unseen Nana are nice.

Lucy's other love interests (206 ex, Emmet, Chris, TIMOTHY BRADFORD) have been assholes.

NOW WHOSE FECKIN BACKSTORY DO WE NEED TO SEE MORE OF???

(sorry to those of you who have heard all this from me before, I am literally typing my sporadic thoughts with you guys into longform)

Look, no doubt characters on this show need therapy, but if we’re just gonna make it a vehicle for some random side-characters to have an entire story arc, then WHY? And like, we were misled with the Bailan getting-pregnant storyline too, only to end back up where we started with fostering - because it’s only worth second place if your ovaries are geriatric. LIKE? SO. MANY. PROBLEMATICS.

It’s as if The Rookie plotters were given the outline to the exam questions… then tried to make the answers fit all the WRONG QUESTIONS (I may be speaking from experience). If the cards are laid out one way, don’t struggle to make a different answer fit. Just use what you’ve got, and use it wisely. Especially when it’s been working so well.

And another thing!!! Canon is not fiction - we all know that. We’ve all seen the ones who get carried away with fanon Chenford and ‘Lucy is vegan’-type imaginings that were never actually true. But saying if we don't like canon then we should just write or read fiction to deal with it is only serving to send people deeper into denial. There is a point where you are not crazy, and the writers did something stupid and you start understanding what ‘jumped the shark’ actually means.

Speaking of outdated TV lingo, I saw a really good tweet from Brian_Cronin :

TV showrunners accepting the "truism" that getting "will they/won't they?" characters together hurts the show, always citing Moonlighting, is because they like "rules" that remove their responsibility, as "Don't write the show poorly once they're together" puts the onus on them.

This goes for Chenford. No, Eric Winter. No, Alexi Hawley. We don’t need to see a breakup because it’s more like ‘reality’. Here’s a shocker: we come to watch a COP show, in this age of police brutality, global dictatorships, internationally ignored genocide, timelines full of dead babies and the constant looming threat of utter climate destruction to ESCAPE from reality. We are not watching a COP SHOW - A SHOW ABOUT ONE OF THE MOST VIOLENT, ABUSIVE POLICE FORCES IN THE WESTERN WORLD - for “reality”. Get your fucking head in the game. We supported you through pandemics and strikes, and you pull this season of SHIT on us.

I love all the characters, but I’m hooked for chenford. And I feel really badly treated.

If I was marking your exam, you’d get a failing grade.

“Started off well - linked UC storyline to previously-hinted relationship trauma. Dropped the plot entirely mid-way and brought in a host of unknowns. Tried to blame breakup on army issues previously marked as ‘resolved’, instead of UC drugs and unfaithful wife/abusive father? Reused names multiple times. Confusing and inconsistent. Fatally underused Chen character - inexplicably failing downwards, while Nolan character inexplicably promoted upwards. Use basic research next time."

#chenford #the rookie #personal thoughts #do NOT come at me bro #this is my tumblr and i'll bang the walls if i want to

[justcallmecj]

Seeing Your Dragon Form: First Years

(I feel like this chapter of the series may be crappier than the previous ones. I'm slowly running out of ideas and have used up quite a bit of my writing energy recently. I've come to realize that writing for the First Year Squad is just harder for me because I'm used to the pure crackhead energy the fandom gives them, but I'm still going strong! Oh well, I really want to write, so here I am!)

^Original note from Quotev that I put prior to the chapter. As a sort of mini explanation for my mindset going into this one.

Ace

Ace wanted to look unimpressed and chill, but he was currently losing it, and you could tell.

When you finally settled down, he approached you with his hands behind his head, really trying to hit home the idea he wasn't fanboying over you right now.

You brought your head down to allow him to get a closer look as well as touch your horns and snout.

He was a lot gentler than you thought he'd be.

He carefully ran his hand up and down your snout, making you hum in the process.

He tried talking to you, getting frustrated when you'd only hum and growl, before those two working brain cells in his head worked and he figured out that you couldn't actually talk.

He doesn't know, for some reason, a part of his brain just assumed you'd be able to talk.

Despite the current situation, Ace's behavior didn't change. He still tried to tease you, coming up basically unsuccessful because that's just how it is between the two of you, didn't stop him though.

Once, when you weren't paying attention, he tried to climb onto your back, not expecting the reaction that you'd have.

When you realized, you rolled over, trapping him under you. Due to the size difference, he was completely stuck, despite how much effort he put into trying to push you off him. You made sure not to hurt him though, and you didn't.

He could practically hear you laughing, even if it just came out as draconic grumbles.

sigh "You really never change, huh? You big bully! Though honestly, what can I say? I'm the same way, and I wouldn't want you any other way."

Deuce

Deuce was certainly nervous.

No fear. His brazen, delinquent years prepared him to take on any challenge that may be thrown at him, but this was definitely different.

He was stunned for a decent while after you transformed. Just kinda standing there, frozen in place.

Pretty sure his brain fried for a moment.

When he finally came back to his sense, he tried to play it all off with compliments, but really, there was no tricking you, but you gave him the benefit of the doubt and ignored it.

He was the most interesting by your wings.

(If I remember correctly)One of the reasons he likes being on the Track Team/Magical Wheel(?Can't remember which), is feeling the wind rush past him when he picks up speed. Because of this, he really admired your wings, which could do the same thing but ten fold.

He really wanted to ask you to take him on a flight with you, but was too shy to ask out loud. Maybe one day he'll have the confidence.

He made sure to be extra careful around parts like your horns, tail and other parts that may be considered sensitive/vulnerable. He didn't want to risk being even a little to rough and hurting you. He'd never forgive himself if he hurt you. (He doesn't realize how tough dragon skin and scales are, just give him a while).

All in all, it was a pleasant experience for the both of you. He had fun getting to see a new side of you, and you got to have a breather in your dragon form with no worries about who's around you.

"This is truly amazing. I can't believe you're capable of something like this. You really make NRC much more fun than it would be if you weren't here."

Jack

His reaction was much different from the others.

You and him are pretty similar in more ways than some may think.

Both of you are non-human beings capable of turning into a natural animal form. Him a wolf, you a dragon.

He was calm, but astounded. He didn't think you'd be quite so big.

He gets bigger than a normal wolf when he uses his Unique Magic, but he always assumed that was because he's a bigger person himself. Maybe it's just natural for anyone capable of this ability.

He was cautious to approach, not fully aware of how conscious you are, taking his own wolf state into account.

You just sat down, tail resting on the forest floor, wings at rest, showing just how comfortable you were in the situation. That convinced him that nothing had changed except how you looked.

He sat next to you, showing the same peaceful signs. Tail resting and ears calm.

You came closer, laying your head down next to his side. He reached out a hand and gently stroked the top of your head.

You two just stayed there like that for a while. Peacefully enjoying each others calm presence, until he stopped petting you.

You had gotten so used to the feeling and were so close to falling asleep, him stopping upset you.

In retaliation, you picked up your head and placed it down in his lap. He panicked for a moment before freezing, not knowing quite what to do.

He soon recognized the affectionate action. It was one his younger sister and brother would do when they wanted affection without actually saying they wanted affection. A silent plea.

He placed his hand back on your head, petting you like he was not even a minute ago. Sometimes he'd move his hand and scratch behind your ear, which caused you to hum and delight.

"We really are more alike than I thought. Are you sure you're not just a dog in disguise?" You grumbled at the playful tease, making him laugh.

Epel

Epel actually reacted much differently than you expected.

The moment he saw your dragon form, he wasted no time in rushing over and didn't even attempt to hide his complete adoration.

He jump up and down, bouncing on the heel of his feet. He rushed around, taking in every detail about you that he could.

His attention to speech completely leaves his mind and his natural accent slips in until he's speaking with such a think accent it's sometimes hard to understand what he's saying.

This may very well be the most excited you've seen Epel act, other than when he's getting competitive.

When he was finally able to wrap his head around everything and calm down, his demeanor changed on the dime, much like his personality can.

He softly took hold of your snout and held if close to his chest with his arms holding onto the underside of your head, something he likes to do even when you're in your normal form. For him, it's a show of trust, one he knew you'd understand.

A soft hum found its way out of your throat. He giggled at the affection.

You both took a rest and talked. It may have been a one-sided conversation, but he didn't mind.

He rambled on and on to fill the silence, accompanied with the occasional scratch under the chin.

There was a moment where he got jealous about how much bigger you were than him normally, let alone now. But, he soon got over it after thinking about how it must have just been natural since you weren't human.

"As much as I think it's unfair you can do all these cool things about how you look while I'm stuck like this, I'm still really happy that you opened up to me. I know what it's like to not be content with how you look, but we can do our own thing together!"

Sebek

Now, normally, Sebek is really respectful towards you. A byproduct from how he treats Malleus and how similar the two of you are.

Throughout the school year, it's taken some work, but you've gotten him to truly see you as a friend, not just another fae.

But, things did change a little bit after seeing your dragon form.

He's never seen Malleus's, because Malleus sees no use in taking his dragon form most of the time, so he didn't quite know what he was expecting to see from you.

When he watched a massive, spike covered, ice coated dragon walked out of the mist that practically came out of now where, he was honestly a little scared.

He remembered a story Lilia had told him and Silver once. It was about how once, when Malleus was young, he changed forms after throwing a temper-tantrum. After that, Sebek just started associating the idea with anger.

But, his time as a guard(and your friend) allowed him to be more observant than some. He saw every cue that would tell your current mood. There was no anger, only a calm curiosity. A curiosity towards him.

The idea of you watching him with the intention to see how he'd react embarrassed him. He turned his head to hide the reddening of his cheeks, but he didn't realize the red had crept up his ears and right into your watchful gaze.

You made a sound, one he didn't recognize, but it sounded faintly like laughter.

You were laughing at him!!!

He stomped a foot and grumbled under his breath, only causing you make more of the laughing sounds.

After that whole fiasco, Sebek finally felt comfortable enough to let down his guard.

His sharp hearing allowed him to quickly pick up on the different meanings of certain sounds, enough to have a semi-coherent conversation. He made sure to keep his voice quieter than usual, only being able to guess how sensitive your hearing may be right now.

Eventually, the interaction between the two of you fell into a comfortable and familiar conversation, like nothing was different about this scenario than usual.

"I really should be finding Waka-sama right now, but as Silver has told me, I may need to lighten up. So, we'll stay here for a while longer." His voice got just a bit quieter, "Thank you for showing me this."

And then the original note I put on Quotev after the chapter-

(Well, I think this set actually came out a lot better than I initially though it would. These five weren't as hard to write for as they usually are once I actually started soooo- YAY!!)

You can see the mindset change, wow.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #ice dragon!reader #justcallmecj fics #justcallmecj headcanons

[myfandomrealitea]

I very vividly remember in 2020, being told by this one person who began controlling our fandom rp server, that we had to turn our rp blogs into places where we had to reblog every horrific thing happening during blm. and that he "better not catch us trying to rp". he also was against tagging it because then "white people would ignore it". i remember forcing myself to watch videos of police brutalizing black men and women, real people dying in the streets, and trying to convince myself that if I looked away, I was part of the problem. He'd also convinced me that I lucked out in getting my job, only because I was white, and that I was taking this job from a much more qualified black person. the only reason i got away from him is because I started feeling like i should kill myself, because one less whitey. and that was when i snapped to attention and did whatever i could to get out of there, even though it cost me my reputation being slandered by him.

it's been 4 years, and I'm doing my best to heal, but apparently he's still at it. pulling this same kind of controlling bs that I'm seeing echoed in some of those reblogs.

don't traumatize yourself for the sake of proving you're a good person.

Please feel free to name and shame. That kind of behavior is abusive, predatory and could very well drive someone to kill themselves as you almost did. Him continuing to have a platform and unchallenged reach is outright dangerous.

If you are ever in a situation like this, please, clock the early signs and leave. Your health and wellbeing are far more important than your forced activism. If someone is ever:

Making you feel guilty over something like not reblogging a post, being a certain ethnicity/gender/race/sexuality.

Accusing you of contributing to or being the core problem in a much, much broader issue.

Trying to manipulate you and others by "tattling" on you for not doing something or not doing enough.

Threatening you in order to pressure you into doing things.

Screenshot all of the conversations, block them, and leave.

Things like this are why I will always give call out posts which do not contain blatant and corroborating evidence the benefit of the doubt. Its all too easy for people to join in almost automatically on dogpiles against people being accused of something like being racist or being passive/dismissive about world events.

(E.g; in the 911 fandom literal Latino artists and authors were being harassed over being "racist" re; their depictions of Eddie Diaz only for the people dogpiling them to scramble to retract and apologise once they realized the person wasn't actually an Evil Terrible White Person.)

I'm so proud of you for having the courage to get yourself away from your abuser.

#myfandomrealitea #sephiroth speaks #fandom #proship #reality #proshipping #world issues #justice #social justice #tw: abuse #tw: emotional abuse #911 #eddie diaz mention #tw: racism mention #human rights

[suncaptor]

there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.

#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma #I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do #this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by #my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness #control my willingness to let things in #but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music........... #and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy #or religion because they've damaged me so much #how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma? #the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is #but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again #and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror #then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique #and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem #but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere #possibility of a future #i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed #me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life. #if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee #nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like #that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and #there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue. #it's the problem in itself. #my ambition SHOULD be smarter. #god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i #mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me #but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin #well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see. #delete

[starwikia]

suicide cw

look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am. 

ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.

this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.

He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!

you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.

it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions. 

what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT. 

am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!

yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).

The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.

#warning: do not read this post if you want me to be nice to james somerton. i am extremely mean in this post. #before anyone accuses me of shit i legit never contacted him myself or anyone involved. i am someone who witnessed this behavior repeatedly #again. i hope hes alive and well. the fact is him lying about this WOULD BE THE IDEAL SITUATION. BC NO ONE SHOULD GO THROUGH THAT. but. #he HAS to forever be the victim in his eyes. attempting doesnt automatically mean youre free of sin. #its just terrible to see that regardless whether or not he did do it #its very clear his attempts to run away from his consequences are working on some people #we need to acknowledge that if your shitty ex friend can weaponize a threat to kill themselves #so can this internet person after being called out for horrendous shit #like what was the alterative? what were people supposed to fucking do? be nice about it? #yeah as if poc and trans women arent historically given shit for being 'too mean' about wanting justice. #this isnt just the plagiarism this is the fact a white dude has been parading himself as THE speaker for the gays(tm) but has been using hi #gayness to shield himself from his misogyny racism transphobia and antisemitism #its very clear regardless this means that ppl r going to side with him and then give him benefit of doubt #if you cant handle the heat stay out of the fucking kitchen dude. this is the consequences of your fucking actions. #hes a disgusting person who cant handle being told no so hes going to drag everyone down with him #like. idk this entire situation is frustrating to me. #its also frustrating ppl trying to be moral abt it like 'see! i knew this was bad all along!' no you didnt. shut it. #for the record im like mainly talking abt twit watching those spineless uwu cutesy ppl basically saying hes done noting wrong #oh and also alt righters who are clearly weaponinizing this where u know they wouldnt give a shit if a right ytber did this. #james somerton #idk might delete this later its just. ugh...

[alchemiclee]

I hate that whenever there's a gay ship, people immediately het-ify it. people are so obsessed with making one the "man" and one the "woman" when that's completely unnecessary, because they are both the man or the woman. It's extremely annoying. these people will completely mischaracterize a character to fit into their stupid little het roles they force on them.

for example, you don't need to make one man the "wife" and feminized him to the extreme and fit him in a traditional "woman" role so the other man can be the big strong masculine manly man. they can both be masculine or both be feminine or both be both at the same time! they do NOT need to be gendered opposites to fit het roles. crazy, I know! it's like no one considers it a possibility! or sees how good it can be to have them be equals without gendered nonsense.

when there's a gay relationship, you have the perfect opportunity for the couple to stand on equal ground. they get to be equals who are just as strong and just as soft as each other. there's no faulty power dynamics where one is above the other (because let's face it, society unfortunately deems masculinity > femininity). one doesn't need to protect the other. they can protect themsleves, fight aide by side as equals. one doesn't do all the housework. they share that duty equally. one isn't weak and pretty, while they other strong and manly. they both are strong and pretty, or masculine and weak at the same time.

equal relationships are amazing and need to be explored more and appreciated. there can be more understanding and working together. i'm bad at explaining what I mean, but I prefer these equal relationships over forcing them into opposite roles to mirror het relationships, which are usually extremely unbalanced and unequal. especially because these not het relationships! so why must they look like one? they can and should look different! so why does literally every shipper and writer out there make them so het coded?

I don't understand why people do this. do they actually believe all romantic relationships must mimic het ones to exist and thrive and purposely force that on them? or have they genuinely just not fathamed that they can be different and dont need to follow the expected het standards?

I wonder, it feels like no one actually knows how non-het relationships are meant to be and how they could work, since het ones are always forced down our throats since birth. it becomes The Standard that everyone thinks they must follow. maybe it's all people know since they don't see any other possibilities. their preferred dynamics for their ships are what we are taught and nothing different, because they don't know it can be different. i also think people might be obsessed with that whole "opposites attract" trope. but that opposite doesn't have to be the traditional het-fueld feminine vs masculine or wife vs husband characteristics. it can be other personality things like one is loud and one is quiet, one is dumb and one is overly smart, one is rich and one poor, etc. it doesn't have to be masculine vs feminine!

BREAK OUT OF THE HET NORMS!!!!! TEAR DOWN HETERONORMATIVITY!!!!!!!!! FREE THE GAYS

(disclaimer, not saying masculine vs feminine ships are all bad/shouldn't be done ever. but it doesn't need to be 100% of the time either 😅 can't think of one ship people dont do this with lol)

#cant even say its only het shippers because lgbt shippers do it too #i enjoy the ships i see more as equals. like cynonari and xingyue for example #first ones that came to mine lol #everyone feminizes the shit out of nari calling him cynos wide constantly but they're both strong leader types with a soft side #wife* #THEYRE SO EQUAL???? AND THAT MAKES THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO STRONG???? #then xingyue is funny because ive seen people frame BOTH yingxing and dan feng as the “wife” at different times. proof theyre equals! #maybe not proof lmao but you cant say the arrogant craftsman and proud dragon arent equals who get along super well #they arent het opposites at all imo. not even close #i just really enjoy balanced equals over unbalanced opposites. because the feminine is always seen as lesser and weaker than the masculine #and that always bothers me a lot lmao #im probably the minority here. im giving benefit of the doubt that people just never thought about it and do what theyre taught #but if everyone actually orefers this and its on purpose.......please reconsider 🤣 #prefers* #lee text #lee rambles #gay #lgbtq #gay ships #one relationship i felt was presented as equals (from best of my memory) was korrasami #they balance each other out and i see them as equals. one doesn't lead over the other. they're both leaders in their own ways. and carers #one reason i dont date is because most people are ovsessed with this unbalance opposite gender roles thing and i cant stand it lmao #obsessed* am tired of tag typos i miss until after i hit enter hfhfhdhdjdjsjs #this was long and rambly but i suddenly had many feelings and needed to say them #*

[goldensunset]

see it’s not that i hate when people criticize media that i like. i LOVE criticizing my media i do it constantly. it is in itself a manifestation of my love for the media. my problem is simply that i hate seeing criticism immediately after having first finished the media and therefore while still being in supreme hype mode. when i first get done with something i’m too busy reeling from how amazing it was to be willing to tolerate any negativity at all because i’m just absolutely over the moon with excitement at that moment and i don’t want it to be ruined for me even if i’m already subconsciously aware of certain flaws. once a few months have passed and my brain has settled down i can absolutely palate negative critical analysis. so when i say i don’t like haters i just mean it’s unfortunate when other people’s hyped up thought suspension mode doesn’t last as long as mine. like can you wait at least a few days after the thing drops before complaining using the main tags please

#like i’ve blocked people not because i think they’re bad people or objectively wrong #but because i didn’t wanna see it! simply did not want to see it at that moment. i was curating my experience #then i later unblocked them for what it was worth #see if it’s something i’m several months or years late to then yeah that’s fair #if it’s brand new then like. c’mon man you’re ranting already? can you not enjoy it quietly for half a second #peach rambles #i am also just a very hype mode optimistic interpretation lens kinda person #i am always giving media the benefit of the doubt even when i am criticizing it #so that’s just another personality difference between me and some people that makes me not get along with them very well

[kuruk]

help I also had that same oversensitive problem with anons like the ones where it's somebody trying to be silly or w/e and the person responds like "ok" I cant leave the post on my screen for too long. it used to make me answer all my asks like a cheerleader writing an hr email because I'd be like what if they think im mad and then theyre so sad forever... it used to be so bad when I was a kid too I'd get flushed and tear up during cartoons where there's one guy who's always the butt of the joke bc he sucks I'd be like i can feel squidwards pain intuitively

help I know I used to answer every ask like that too but then I got annoyed by myself and my enthusiasm or well more embarrassed lol. but I used to get a lot of asks everyday but I'm shy and don't have much to say and never know how to respond and I get overwhelmed easily so I just couldn't answer every single ask or think too deeply about it anymore.. also I thought if I answered a lot of people with just "..." and such when I don't know what to say it would just be like well I'm the kind of person who always talks like that naturally so it doesn't mean I thought it was stupid imjust talking and being myself and such. so now I don't put too much effort into my online tone I'm always like Oh and Okay and I see and . and such. because well I do see.

#im also less patient when someone comes off as rude to me i used to always give benefit of doubt but now imlike dont talk to me like that.. #ever since the sextuplet pregnancy i dont see anons as real as o used to help sorry #people would be accidentally rude or creepy when trying to be funny #and i felt bad because everyone made fun of the anons I'd get but i started hating them a little too sorry help.. #i used to not answer certain anons because i knew they'd get made fun of in my inbox or replies 😭 #but now ikm like well im sure youll deal with it..

[soft-serve-soymilk]

The problem with having puppers is that you start scolding everything out of habit:

Aus post who is keeping my package in customs for 387903 million years? No :(

C-ptsd induced emotional flashbacks with the classic flinch response? No 😓

youtube who paused my song RIGHT before the best part to ask ‘time to take a break ^^?’ even though I never set such a thing and I bet it’s choosing to be annoying on purpose bc I deleted it last week to prevent distractions and it has since been reinstated: Nooo 😡

#just pav things #as always I am sillyposting to cope. 2 more days at least…. #I should be less worried about my package honestly it just upsets me that there’s a discrepancy between usps and auspost #for the latter has not updated since it made it to the Chicago airport (it still thinks it’s not on a flight yet which is surely false) #As for what is on the usps page well it hasn’t updated in a while either but I’m giving benefit of the doubt bc ✨ business days ✨ #I’m chalking it up to customs. It takes an hour to drive here from melbourne not entire days #I hope they’re not mad at the contents 😓 #here’s hoping it arrives by Thursday or I will have to contend with there being no progress bc Easter public holidays #and they don’t want to pay double time for deliveries 😭 #also I want to talk abt it when I see my wife on stream but hhhh maybe I will have to be extra patient after all :( #I am succumbing to the same kind of paranoia as my parents 😭😭 Pav doesn’t trust post offices #not since they stuffed up and lost my (fortunately later found) package for shadow 😂

[bahoreal]

every time i read a fan analysis of the ted lasso final that adds beautiful meaning and depth to his character journey im like damn

i wish thats what they intended to do but i really dont think they put that much thought into it

#like 1. the beauty of tv and film and books is that everyone comes away with a different interpretation and that's beautiful #but 2. the actual storytelling and reality of a show without reading into it stands on its own. both of those things are true #and having seen beautifully executed plots about home and loss and discomfort and like. letting the audience know theyre not seeing the #whole picture i just have to say. i really dont think they did it well in s3 of ted lasso. i enjoyed it sure. but it was lacking #and i was prepared to read into it and give them the benefit of the doubt but then brendan did that ama and i was like nvm LOL #like if you enjoyed the final and it gave you exactly what you wanted I'm so glad 🙏 storytelling resonates differently for different people #but for me it felt more like replacing genuine writing with a series of callbacks that the audience would get excited over. it just did not #work for me. and thats why i wrote a 100k fixit jdhshshs.

[booasaur]

Bummed about how jack and keeley ended but i guess we all knew it was coming 😔😔😔

that being said I LOVED before it all went downhill when they dressed up for mini golf. It was cute and funny (though the happiness was short lived)

Yeah, we knew, but god, we asked for so little, we didn't ask for a lot of screentime or endgame, we just wanted to avoid the same old trope of the villainous wlw and they couldn't do that much.

At the moment, it's kind of ruined what came before for me, because it's not as if it was a particularly strong relationship based on a deep connection, a lot of my enjoyment was the meta aspect of seeing it happen on a stage like this, and in the end, this was the relationship they wanted to show on this big stage, so...

But on the other hand, I do like Jodi, I like Juno and Keeley, so maybe at some point I can put the end aside and be like, it was nice except the end. :x

#we'll see how likely that is to happen lol #me who is so well known for putting aside endings :P #but you know I was talking to a friend the other day and saying I could handle older subtext ships better than something like this #because at least you could give them the benefit of the doubt as to the conditions they worked under #while now they have so much more freedom and still went with this #replies #femslash related stuff #sent on 20230504 #Anonymous #5 #ted lasso apple tv #ted lasso 3x08 #jack x keeley

[wizardlyghost]

always good to find out which of your coworkers, upon you saying that you are getting sick of your manager's bullshit, will immediately report to your manager that you said you were getting sick of his bullshit. henceforth you are lower than a customer to me. motherfucker.

#god i hate adhd rsd it is making it So hard to tell if people are actually giving me stinkeye or if i'm just being paranoid and delusional #cause the trouble is i Know that this mf is a bitch ass liar. i've caught him going out of his way to tell me shit i already knew was false #and i also know he's not above telling stories behind peoples' backs or sharing information that isn't his to share #but he's also a super charismatic guy and is really good at oiling his way out of direct confrontation in various ways #at least until you notice that his behaviour doesn't change. #that his smile and tone can turn to charming on a dime but his body language and physical actions remain aggressive as hell #that the mask instantly shifts to affable whenever someone who hasn't worked a lot with him walks into the room #i really tried to give this guy the benefit of a doubt for near a year and a quarter but at this point i'm well past caring #i don't care if he's aware of what he's doing or if it's all just automatic and he genuinely doesn't see it. #i'd had enough of frantically watching over my shoulder when i was fourteen goddamn years old for fuck's sake #i genuinely can't wait until i get to never see him again #this post is hypothetical any resemblance to persons living or dead is coincidental and i cannot be fired for typing it

[datastate]

[ end-game ykza 0 spoilers ]

i hope jun rots in hell. truly. i wish tachibana were given the chance to reunite with his sister after everything the two of them had done and sacrificed to get here... i wish tachibana was at least given the chance to cast jun out and let him die. not in this conflict, not by his own hand, but as soon as it's over they're to cut ties. the foundation of their friendship was deceit, only emphasized by the actions jun took to bury himself on this hill. tachibana will not openly mourn him; he will only mourn his naivete and the years he was enraptured by power over his own family. maybe the part of him which still cares hopes jun realizes that - but only that he comes to reality far, far away from those he's hurt.

#jestersvaguely #ykza tag #jun was so fucking selfish. in the entire scheme of ykz0 he just escaped judgement again. and again... #it's so genuinely frustrating. on a narrative standpoint as well as a subjective one... #as soon as that was revealed abt jun i just dropped him. i was trying so hard to give benefit of the doubt but. god. #there's no coming back from what he did to xiao. and it hurts me knowing tachibana joined them with that tattoo #oblivious to the weight behind it. jun made tachibana to carry his dead weight. how horrible. how selfish. #& also... it was cheap to remove xiao's blindness. #even if she were still blind. tachibana upon realizing the meaning of this mark on himself would hide it from her #he doesn't want to be a reminder of the pain she's gone through. even if it's something she won't see. #god. i need to bite wood. xiao lost everything. everyone who cared for her... #she came out stronger and more alone than she'd ever been #because this time. this time there's no going back. they're not just missing - they're dead and gone... #i need to write something with them i Need to.

[gentil-minou]

You better cool it with the name insults. Don't insult others just because you went through something. I didn't put that on you, don't put that on me. TF is wrong with you?!

Well if you read the post I reblogged (heres a link for context in case you filtered that tag or something) and took a moment to understand why I said those things then maybe it would make sense.

I'm sorry for offending you. It must be soooo hard to hear someone mock your name or make jokes about it, for someone to sit there and take your culture and history and ignore it because they don't like the name you introduced yourself. It's horrible when someone takes the rich history behind your name and ignores it, or mocks it with stuff like "it sounds dumb" or "it's so weird". Must be soooooo awful to have your name insulted huh. Just the absolute worst. Gee wilikers I wonder what that's like.

#look anon im gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and say you missed the context of that post and arent in the fandom that post is about #and if thats the case i genuinely apologize and encourage you to read that post and then what i posted afterward and see if maybe #what i said makes more sense #and if perhaps you did read those posts and still dont care or even decide you cant be bothered to well then thats just part of the problem #and you are more than welcome to unfollow me because i didnt tag those posts for a reason #like i didnt spend 3 decades of my life with microagression after ignorant microaggression to have someone say i dont have the right to say #what I said about it. #anyways #asked and answered

[godsfavoritescientist]

idk how to phrase this but I wish there was a way for me to filter out fics on ao3 that describe Bill as "incapable of feeling love" in a "woe is me, the nonhuman character cannot feel this random emotion, Ford would be so much happier if only Bill was Capable of Feeling Love" way

#godsrambles #people are allowed to write ford thinking this way. its not like 1980s science man ford would know anything about aro identities #i just personally cant deal with running into this specific thing again in fics about these two. #i cant do it im not strong enough. #maybe bc i partly approach this ship in an escapist way of 'imagine 2 weird guys who dont care about amatonormative relationship standards' #i love angst i just cant stand being Suddenly hit on the head with the hammer of: #'no matter how much bill cares in his own way no matter what bill does ford will still be sad that he cant feel Love' in fic after fic #'ford might TELL bill its okay but deep down he would really be happier if bill felt love the Right Way' #cant stop thinking about this. its come up at least 3 times in 3 separate fics. and they are well written ones too. #give me angst about Anything else. Please. Anything Else #but i cant even read new fics on ao3 at the moment bc theres a nonzero chance I'll run into this AGAIN. #it is simply Not For Me. its fine for people to write angst from that angle i just want a wider range of content about nonhuman characters #i just am tired of it being such a Common Thing brought up with villains monsters and nonhumans #the issue is the Trend not any individual writing it #which is why ive been so reluctant to even voice my frustration. bc its really honestly not any one fic writers fault #i also want to give people the benefit of the doubt. its *possible* for ford to subconsciously see monstrousness and lack of ability to #-love as connected without the *author* subconsciously thinking it also. its just. complicated and hard to know #i just want to be able to filter it out so i stop getting hit with reminders that the ability to love is seen as a key part of being human #by so many people #it stings even more with it being *ford* thinking these things too #like. fords Whole Thing is embracing abnormality and strangeness. #so if even *he* cant fully embrace being with someone who doesnt feel Love... :(