#mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me

[suncaptor]

there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.

#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma #I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do #this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by #my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness #control my willingness to let things in #but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music........... #and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy #or religion because they've damaged me so much #how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma? #the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is #but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again #and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror #then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique #and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem #but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere #possibility of a future #i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed #me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life. #if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee #nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like #that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and #there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue. #it's the problem in itself. #my ambition SHOULD be smarter. #god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i #mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me #but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin #well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see. #delete

[tollingreminiscentbells]

In the defense of bottom!Voldemort|Tom

I'm in a mood, so I've decided to break down my thoughts on this topic and I'm putting it in the tags for anyone who is interested. With a suitably melodramatic title.

The rules here are simple: if you know you won't like this, don't read it. If you read it anyway and don't like it, that is the definition of a you problem. Okay? Okay.

So let's talk about why I think it is incorrect and, frankly, offensive to claim that Voldemort|Tom bottoming is inherently out of character.

In order to have this conversation, we're actually having a bigger conversation about sex. Because that's really what this is about.

Something that has popped up in a handful of comments on my own fic is surprise that Voldemort wants to suck Harry's cock. Now, I'm going to be charitable and assume that the people who say things like this don't realize what they're implying. But the reality is that they are operating from the assumption that a man sucking another man's dick is, at least to some extent, weak and degrading. A subservient act.

This is both homophobic and factually untrue. A significant percentage of people who like dick also like giving blowjobs. It's an enjoyable, pleasurable thing to do. And even if the physical act of sucking cock doesn't turn someone on, there are so many other reasons to want to do it. Getting off on being the source of your partner's pleasure, for one example.

But let's move on to the elephant in the room: anal sex. Specifically, the act of being penetrated. The interesting thing about bottoming is that, contrary to what some people seem to believe, it's the more powerful position. Penetration is only happening because the person bottoming is granting permission. Even if that person has ceded total control of the encounter, the fact remains that they made that decision in the first place and could un-make it at any time.

If that agency does not exist, the sex is not truly consensual. Full stop.

Moreover, a strong, dominant personality =/= topping. There is no innate correlation. This is where misogyny really comes to the table. Bottoming seen as a feminine act, and femininity conflated with weakness and submission. Do I think (most) Tomarrymort readers are consciously thinking this way? No. But that doesn't mean the underlying bias isn't present.

There are so many ways penetrative sex can play out. Yes, you get the "classic" version of the person topping being dominant and the person bottoming being submissive. But you can also get topping from the bottom, where the dominant partner in every way is the person being fucked. Or maybe no one is taking a dominant role. Et cetera. This is a broad overview, not an exhaustive list.

Do you see what none of these things have? An assumption that topping=stereotypical masculinity and bottoming=stereotypical femininity. Even with a couple that likes playing with that flavor of gender roles, it's a choice they're making. And before someone willfully misunderstands me, there is nothing wrong with that choice. But don't mistake it for something it's not.

So now that we've clarified that being penetrated is not weak, degrading, or even inherently submissive, let's bring this back to Tomarrymort.

First of all, have you read the books? Voldemort is campy as shit. High drama and a surprisingly great sense of humor (his jokes are fucked up, but also pretty funny). He's not this hyper-masculine figure. On the flip side, Harry is not an effeminate man. He's a jock who will fight you.

So from whence comes this zealous dedication some people have to a fixed dynamic that puts Voldemort|Tom in the masculine role and Harry in the feminine role? Yes, we've established that sex positions are neither of those things, but we all know that's the assumption simmering toxically in the background.

I can't say for sure, but my instincts tell me that it comes from a shallow read of both characters. Voldemort is a powerful man who commands a terrorist organization. Harry is the good-hearted hero, defined by his capacity to love. And this can get twisted into Voldemort|Tom taking and Harry giving in a very reductive way. Even when the relationship is meant to be consensual.

Obviously, I don't think this is universal. I've read a lot of incredible takes on sex in this fandom, with different top/bottom/switching dynamics. And this is fanfiction, which means you can play with characterization to your heart's content. What I'm talking about is people insisting that Voldemort|Tom must top and Harry must bottom and anything else is wrong.

Why are you so adamant about that? Have you ever given it a moment's thought? If you prefer it, you prefer it, that's all fine. But when it morphs into claiming that bottom!Voldemort|Tom is out of character and bad, things have crossed over into the arena of the absurd. Like what you like, but be aware of what you're really saying when you talk about sex.

Not conflating bottoming with weakness and topping with strength would be a good starting point. Understand that there are myriad reasons a person might want to bottom. It can be a source of relief, allowing someone else to take control so you don't have to. It can be an act of manipulation. It can be a form of domination. And sometimes it's just because bottoming is what feels good and they have more fun that way. Or it's just the kind of pleasure they're in the mood for on a random Tuesday night.

No one is telling you to read things you don't enjoy. And no one is saying that fixed top/bottom dynamics don't exist in the real world. But it's ridiculous to apply a fixed dynamic to such a degree that you get upset when other people write something else and consider a fic "ruined" by it. You really should put some thought into your biases. It's good for you. But even if you don't, when you claim a sexual dynamic is inherently out of character, you're actually just wrong. So stop doing that. It will be a net gain for all of us, including you.

#harrymort #tomarrymort #it's time for a sex talk #i prefer to write switching but there is no hierarchy here

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Four

"Lennon's late again" says Paul, as he walks in late. And sweet Ringo just gently, "between ten and eleven is the time" Which means: "Chill babe. He'll be here."

One thing that always gob smacks me is how bored George and Ringo are watching Paul pull Get Back out of the ether. They literally see him do this shit all the time which is insane to me.

His voice is so so so pretty!!! And he's just so completely in his own world. The hunched shoulders. The twitching. The gibberish. The tapping. The twisting.

Obviously this is a song with the original central feeling being let's go back to before everything went wrong but he wants to make it into a meaningless song with both story bits and almost walrus-esque bits. But why is the first lyric he comes up with about gender? Thinking of @scurators posts on Paul and gender.

Ringo's customary quiet really does add significance to his voice, so him singing along with this so quickly says something I think about his support for the song and for Paul in general.

When John walks in he's greeted with a little cocky nod and smile like "look what I've just done while you were late." And then Paul sings "get back to where you once belonged" directly at him before breaking the eye contact. It's one of those heartbreaking Lennon/McCartney miscommunications because Paul is doing this to get John back, but actually it's scaring him away, you know? Paul thinks he has to prove to John how good he is, but John's exhausted with how good Paul is.

STFU Michael Lindsay Hogg

Paul really does love the idea of being forced out of parliament by cops and honestly so do I. Would've been iconic and might've kept them together.

John's so quiet today and also Yoko is not here. Correlation or causation I wonder.

"They say don't they say charity begins at home?" I love you forever, George. His humor is always so well-placed and so dry (even though he's clearly cracking himself up here). And it steers the conversation away from a direction he was not happy with without poking any bears. In fact, everyone's laughing. Clever boy.

"I've decided that the whole point of it is communication. And to be on TV is communication and we've got a chance to smile at people like all you need is love or something so that's me incentive for doing it." Wise, egalitarian John making a lovely appearance.

And then there's Paul. "I'm here cause I wanna do a show." Lol I love them.

Why do they say "Mr Epstein?" Is it because they're on camera and they want people to know who they're talking about? Does it have something to do with the maharishi telling them certain ways to talk about Brian? Does anyone have any thoughts about that?

Okay so you know how I just said last time how emotionally mature George was? I still think it's generally more true of him than the others, but this right here? This is not it. "I don't want to do any of my songs in the show because they'll all just turn out shitty." Man has issues.

I think it's important to recognize that George and Paul have both said the literal word "divorce" and it's NBD. But when John does it, Paul takes it as "the groups really over and I have to go into hiding and not get out of bed and maybe od who knows." Why? There's another puzzle piece here that we're missing.

"Should we leave you for a while?" "YES!"

On the one hand I'm like "working on Maxwell is the last thing you guys should be doing with this time alone." But on the other thing maybe it's the only thing they can do at this point.

"Mal? You should get a hammer. And an anvil." As he's walking away. Main character in a contrived mad genius biopic. Except it's real.

"Joan" sounding suspiciously like "John" ... And then he goes "fool, Maxwell fool." Aka one of their ~special words~ New theory. John hates Maxwell because he dies in it. And Paul's the killer.

"Take it away Johnny." Even though it was George and John whistling before wasn't it? Did George get cut from the whistle chorus? Another straw on the camel's back.

I LOVE that John just does not know any of his own songs. Across the Universe my beloved!

On the glyn/Paul moment featured below, I have three thoughts. 1. Whore. 2. John Lennon villain origin story. 3. The fact that glyn didn't just tell John is striking.

"I wish it fucking would". "Cause I'm down." This lyric going from a self-soothing reassurance that his people aren't going to leave him that he'll always have this beautiful dream he's created with them. To this? I hate it here.

So there is a big emotional and energy difference between their Beatlemania selves singing "Rock and Roll Music" and their current selves. And part of it is due to the fact that they're just not as happy as they were then. But I think most of it is really just that they thrive when they're performing for an audience.

#Sorry for the scarcity of shitty pics to break up the block of text in this one. #Hopefully the next one will be better #paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #Get back

[propheticeve]

Holiness Hoodoo: Speaking in tongues

In my exploration of the question, "Do any other religions practice speaking in tongues?" I arrived at a resounding "NO." More specifically, I discovered that speaking in tongues, or Glossolalia, is primarily native to Pentecostalism. This revelation left me pondering why the internet isn't more updated with information about the practice of speaking in tongues in African Traditional Religions (ATRs), as this practice predates the knowledge of Christ or Pentecostalism.

My curiosity extends to how this practice correlates with spirit possession in other cultures. Speaking in tongues is often seen as a form of being possessed by the Holy Spirit. I wonder how this phenomenon compares to the concept of being "ridden" by the lwa in Vodoun rituals, a practice prevalent in various religious traditions, such as shamanism, Yoruba, Santeria, and Spiritism. In these cultures, spirit possession is not only accepted but viewed as a privilege or a sign of divine favor and great power. The question arises: does it matter if one understands the spoken words, especially when the person speaking has no control over them or doesn't comprehend their meaning?

I shared that I grew up in a Pentecostal environment, where I witnessed numerous instances of tongues speaking, the laying on of hands, Holy Ghost encounters, and more. While I have not been gifted with the ability to speak in tongues myself, my sister has received this "mantle." I acknowledge that it might still be possible for me to receive this gift; it simply hasn't manifested yet.

A striking discrepancy lies between the way the Bible describes speaking in tongues and how it is practiced in the Black church. These two interpretations do not necessarily align. The way in which the Black church practices speaking in tongues could be considered blasphemous by those who do not understand the cultural context.

For instance, 1 Corinthians 14:27-28 (ESV) advises that if anyone speaks in a tongue, there should be only two or at most three speakers, and someone should interpret. If there is no one to interpret, individuals should remain silent in church and speak to themselves and to God. However, I recall watching my mother enter profound trances in church and speak in tongues. She often conveyed familial messages, sometimes from loved ones or ancestors. On occasion, her utterances were messages directly from the Most High. This suggests that, despite our belief that we are communicating solely with the Most High, we may inadvertently be connecting with ancestral spirits.

As previously mentioned in my post about "shouting," Black people approach worship differently, and our cultural influence extends to various religions we encounter. This manner of worship has roots that run deeper than mere survival; it dates back long before the era of colonization. Our unique approach to worship resonates deeply with the source, and we have been able to utilize the Bible to justify our practices.

Acts 2:4 (ESV) states that the disciples were "filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit gave them utterance." In the Black church, particularly the ones I attended, deliverance magic, akin to exorcism or the casting out of demons, was prevalent. When witnessing the casting out of a spirit, the individual performing the exorcism would often speak in tongues. My mother would emphasize that she wasn't addressing the person but the spirit.

Mark 16:17 (ESV) further supports this practice, stating that "these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name, they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues."

Despite its significance, many people question those who speak in tongues, doubting the authenticity of their utterances. They may ask, "What are they saying? Can you translate it?" The answer is generally no, as this conversation resembles a language of light—words only decipherable by the person and the spirit. Sometimes, the person speaking in tongues is unaware of the message once they emerge from the trance.

The discourse conducted through speaking in tongues is not meant for everyone's ears. It is a communication meant for specific individuals, often excluding the person speaking. Consequently, I do not advocate listening to or repeating others' tongues or mimicking the practice. The spirit being communicated with may not be in everyone's best interest. Speaking in tongues is a form of spirit communication bestowed upon only a few.

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#holiness #hoodoo #medium #ancestor veneration #witch #rootwork #black women #conjure #prophet #tutnese #luxury #old hoodoo #traditional hoodoo #seer #Bible #speaking in tongues

[seventhdoctor]

Third Eyes, Dragon Surgery, and Other Past Life Worldbuilding

Need is kind of a mix of my GX past-life headcanons and theories with a few what-ifs thrown in, and unfortunately Yubel's singular focus communicates less about the setting and its details than I'd like. The Dragoning in Chapter 3 (which I'm about to post right now) is...intentionally very vaguely described, given that Yubel is not able to or focused on observing their own transformation, but I thought I'd add more details about it (and compile some other worldbuilding bits) here in case anyone was curious.

Topics include: Yubel's family, the microaggression Yubel totally failed to notice in Chapter 2 of Need, the significance of Yubel's gem, and of course what's involved in Becoming Dragon.

Obvious disclaimer: This should go without saying, but this post is a mix of personal headcanon and lore conceived specifically for this one fic. I'm not saying any of this is actual canon to 2004-2008 anime Yugioh GX. Please don't mischaracterize this post as saying things about canon.

Yubel's family

Yubel is the youngest of five children, born to the Ruby Kingdom's royal librarian (Yubel's father) and a religious scholar from the Cobalt Lands (Yubel's mother). From oldest to youngest, their siblings are: Liese, Aenor and Ansoald (twins), Erneis, and of course Yubel themself.

Nearly everyone in the family is an academic of some kind. Yubel and Liese are the family jocks, although they still make an effort for their studies thanks to their upraising.

Cobalt And Ruby

The Cobalt Lands aren't that close to the Ruby Kingdom, so it's not that often that in the Ruby Kingdom's capital see a lot of people from there. And while Yubel and their siblings were born in the Ruby Kingdom, they still adopted customs and culture their mother passed on to them.

And sometimes, it's obvious when someone comes from a foreign culture.

(This is Liese! In my head she ends up looking a lot like Lyn/Lyndis Fireemblem as she gets older so I made a screenshot edit - thanks to Silver from the No One in Yugioh is Straight server, who helped with the colors.)

In this fic, wearing a gemstone on your forehead is a tradition from a religion most strongly associated with the Cobalt Lands. That Yubel's family goes around wearing them is a bit like wearing bindi or a hijab IRL - it indicates influences of a foreign culture, and a thing that certain people do for religious reasons (and you're kind of an asshole if you give people shit for it).

Yubel, Liese, and the rest of their family being immigrants and first-gen immigrants aside from their father is something that Yubel doesn't pay that much mind but it is something that others are aware of. On the whole nobody's outright hostile about it, but it lead to occasional misconceptions! Chapter 2 of Need includes the equivalent of Odila telling a kid born in Illinois "Hey, let me explain Christmas, do you have that in Taiwan?" Yubel totally fails to recognize the faux pas while accidentally calling it out, but Liese is aware and tries to rescue the situation.

Liese herself is often misinterpreted as wearing a ruby as a show of Ruby Kingdom patriotism, because hey she's a knight of the kingdom and the king certainly wears rubies. Rubies have a different meaning in Cobalt culture, but obviously most people in the Ruby Kingdom miss the nuance.

(The king and Judai wear gemstones prominently, but they're always placed on a crown, or on wristbands, always part of larger accessories - unlike how Yubel and Liese wear theirs.)

Third Eyes

Yubel explains a little bit about the significance of gemstone third eyes in Chapter 1. Different gemstones have different meanings (that don't correlate with modern-day Western gemstone symbolism, so don't go expecting that). Choosing your own gemstone is a personal milestone and a way to represent something meaningful to you - goals, memories, ideals, things like that.

Liese chooses ruby (virtue) for herself because she wants to be an honorable knight and leader. Yubel chooses spinel (vigilance) because they want to watch over the people they love to keep them safe. But of course, they won't be wearing that spinel forever...

But there's a little more to the tradition than that.

The king describes the history of the gentle darkness and the Light of Destruction to Yubel briefly but informatively, and the way I interpret that for this fic is that they're old tales that the king is confirming as truth.

The Ruby Kingdom here has the most concrete records for those old tales, and some way or another anticipated that the gentle darkness would find its holder - which turned out to be Judai. Outside of the highest administration, though, the gentle darkness is mostly forgotten or considered obscure.

The Cobalt Lands don't have the historical records that the Ruby Kingdom, but their religion and culture have a lot of old concepts and symbolism that originate from the gentle darkness and other old forces. And this includes - you guessed it - the tradition of third eyes!

The Dragoning

In even older times, third eyes were a very literal thing and involved implanting a philosopher's stone inside yourself as a process of enlightenment. Yeah, we're back to alchemy, this is Yugioh GX the cardgames and alchemy symbolism anime.

Fic lore aside, it's actual alchemical symbolism that the rebis - half male and half female, a concept that informs Yubel's design - is the end result of the magnum opus, the process to create a philosopher's stone. The philosopher's stone is sometimes characterized as red in color (famously so in Fullmetal Alchemist), and - isn't it interesting how the main element of red in Yubel's design is the eye that persists through each of their forms?

The Cobalt Lands preserved the cultural meaning of the third eye through the wearing of gemstones, a much safer and more accessible practice than a long, involved, and generally life-threatening process that was extremely time- and resource-intensive. This also allowed them to develop symbolism for different gemstones, evolving into the traditions Yubel and Liese observe.

The Ruby Kingdom preserved the actual (and very dangerous!) procedure for developing a philosopher's stone and implanting it, and eventually would use this knowledge to create the perfect defender from a young knight.

...With an experimental dose of dragon essence, of course.

In this fic, Yubel's transformation is achieved through embedding a philosopher's stone within their body - which becomes their new, more literal third eye and the focus of their powers. But there's also a new element thrown in, to further transcend them beyond human into something eternal - an immortal guardian spirit, able to call upon otherworldly power to protect the gentle darkness' chosen bearer from the forces of light.

(Also dragons have their own alchemic symbolism based on some research, but I'm not confident in saying too much because I've been having trouble finding sources that look wholly reliable. On the off-chance someone more knowledgeable is reading, hit me up please.)

Did anyone tell Yubel this part was experimental? No. Would they have cared? Probably not.

In the king's defense, he and his alchemists wouldn't have done the procedure if they weren't pretty sure it was going to work out. Someone as dedicated to Judai as Yubel, human or not, isn't a resource to risk carelessly.

That said, was it all above board to pull out ancient rituals and convince a kid to become a dragon for the sake of protecting the chosen one, without telling the chosen one until too late? Probably not, but we can only guess that he thought the end justified the means.

#yugioh series #yugioh gx #fic #my fic #meta #sorta #yubel #judai yuki

[there-was-a-hole-here-itsgonenow]

Web/Gridgate Imagery in Mike’s Rubik’s Cube + Willel & Byler color theory -> Mike’s Final Strategy

In s1, after Mike knows Will is alive thanks to El, we see a solved Rubik’s cube on Mike’s nightstand. And the colors we see directly are orange, blue, and yellow (wish I could use yellow to highlight).

The orange might seem red at first, but this is definitely orange. I got a closer shot (pardon the low quality) that confirms these front-facing colors.

We see yellow on top with orange and blue below. Part of my brain associates the yellow with my constantly shared belief that Will is going to be the ultimate hero/victor against Henry (the yellow side of the cube is also directly under the light, as if to show this importance on the color). But of course, Mike is just as important. Will and Mike are, I also strongly believe, the two keys (“two men, two keys”) needed to defeat Henry.

(Credit to @stranger-chichka for these pictures. This image also correlates with my 7+7gate theory, along with stranger-chichka’s excellent additional insight, emphasizing the significance of “It was a seven” and stressing Will and Mike as the keys to Stranger Thing’s completion/fulfillment.)

Obviously, El is an important factor in all this too. But instead of one of the colors we can link to her specifically, we get orange here. I got a great tip from my mutual, @lilitblaukatz, who told me orange could reference a combination of the yellow and red we typically associate with Will and El. If that’s the case, it’s going to take our two keys—Will and Mike—and a combination of Will and El to solve the puzzle, so to speak. And since this Rubik’s cube is Mike’s and we can assume he’s the one who solved it, this may suggest it’ll be Mike who creates the strategy that ultimately solves everything. Mike is smart, we know this, and he has a tendency to connect dots others don’t. When he does, it’s a huge help that puts a dent in Henry’s plans. Mike’s bond with Will especially dents those plans; it’s one of the biggest reasons he’s able to connect dots others don’t, such as his “super spy” scene with Will leading him to realize Will was overtaken by the Mindflayer and would have to be put to sleep.

What does any of this have to do with webgate/gridgate (any other name it goes by)? I’ve seen many posts discussing it, revealing the pattern of this web/grid imagery highlighting some kind of entrapment. Physical, mental, and/or supernatural entrapment in a variety of ways. Danger as well.

Think of situation + grid imagery, as well as location and characters involved. There’s other posts that go into heavier detail with these images, plus many other examples, and I wish I could find them easily again and link them here. But, overall, it’s clear there is a pattern that highlights danger and entrapment/ being caught or feeling stuck going on (or even foreshadowed) in each of these examples.

A few of Mike’s examples from s1 and s2 include Mike’s pillowcase and bedsheets (pictured above), Mike’s basement fort—

—and Mike’s Rubik’s cube. Truly, think about it; especially with this color theory in mind! The pillowcase and sheets on Mike’s bed and the sheets over his fort have a grid-like fashion, just as the Rubik’s cube does. The pillowcase and sheets also have the same mix of colors/combined colors within the front-facing, solved Rubik’s cube: Yellow, Blue, Y + B = Green, Red, and R + Y = Orange.

The grid on Mike’s bed have red, yellow, blue, and green coloring the lines, indicating all three characters plus “the keys” Will&Mike are the answer to breaking Henry’s “web.” And perhaps with Mike’s bedsheets and pillowcase showing the lines of the grid as his, Will’s, El’s, and a combination of his and Will’s colors… It may mean these three themselves are/will be part of the “web.” In being part of it, or integrated into it (could be void-related), they might have the advantage to destroy Henry’s entrapment more than anyone else.

On Mike’s fort, only a few of the blank squares of the grid are filled in and colored in pairs: Yellow&Orange, Blue&Green, and Blue&Yellow. All of these squares are near Mike’s head when he’s in the fort—near his brain, the tool needed for a potential s5 strategy. We see him positioned with these same squares in the ST comics too:

The squares also seem to appear in ‘steps,’ like ideas processing step by step in Mike’s head: Y&O the third closest, B&G the second, and B&Y the first—three important steps, perhaps in order from furthest to closest, for Mike’s strategy to work. As if to say Mike will know Will needs to pair up with El specifically for part of it, will know he needs to pair up with Will specifically next, and then finally B&Y—himself and Will—are the final keys to solving all this and freeing themselves and everyone else from behind/within their entrapments.

If any of this is analyzed correctly, the first hint of it all can be found in s1 when Mike, though he didn’t know it then, was already strategizing in opposition to Henry. He’s solved many problems one by one over the seasons, and in s5 he’ll solve the last one.

Full circle.

-

Additional, unrelated note of intrigue concerning the lights over and inside Mike’s fort: a yellow light shining down on the fort and creating a greenish hue with something blue bouncing off of it + a yellow/orangish light within the fort.

#rubikscubegate #webgate #gridgate #web/gridgate #please tell me if there’s a proper gate name for this #twokeysgate #lot of gates #st set design #st grid imagery #st void #willel #byler #mikewillel #byler color theory #willel color theory #mike’s rubik’s cube #mike’s strategy #st theory #st5 theory

[frangipanilove]

Vessels of Hope and Faith: more on the Blue Clues and the Venus symbolism

Sometimes you'll have these thougths and connections simmering in the back of your mind for years, but you don't know how to articulate them into something that sounds coherent.

And then new content comes out and there's a shot that unlocks a Pandora's Box of new theories and correlations.

Yesterday I tried to explain the significance of the blue bird symbolism and its connection to the 101 symbolism. I started researching all kinds of blue bird symbolism after Noah's T-shirt theory was confired all those years ago, and I found a few connections that seemed like they were obvious choised for tptb to utilize, and yet, tptb took their sweet time in confirming they were indeed real, actual connections. The connection between the yellow school bus brand Blue Bird was one of them. We have seen yellow school buses multiple times, some were indeed Blue Bird buses, others weren't necessarily easy to decide, and it wasn't always clear to me if a yellow school bus in an episode was a Blue Bird, and if it was meant to be read into as a part of the symbolism language, or if it was just a random coincidence.

And then, in TWD: Dead City 1x5 Stories We Tell Ourselves, we got the scene that confirmed that yes, the yellow school buses were indeed an integral part of the Blue Bird symbolism seen on the show.

Another blue bird reference I've been anticipating for years was the Crowned Victoria Pigeon. I always thought it was an absolute travesty and missed oppertunity if they didn't use it as a symbol, because it is absolutely perfect for the symbolism language they're already using. And in the episode "Amy/Dr.Everett" in the spin off series Tales of The Walking Dead they finally did. Here's a review on the episode in which it appeared.

"They come across a moment of beauty: a colorful Victoria crowned pigeon. Once on the verge of extinction, the bird is beautiful. "You're alive," Amy says. "You're right here." Amy's marveling turns to heartbreak when the bird flies away."

Sounds a lot like this blue bird is about resurrection. It's on the verge of extinction, and yet it reveals itself for Amy in the episode. And like we often see with symbolism in the spin off's versus on the main show, ot's a lot more over-stated. It's in-your-face type of glaringly obvious. "You're alive"? Come on! If that's not resurrection symbolism I'm eating my hat.

In my Trunk Resurrection 1 and 2 posts from a few years back I elaborate on cars and what they tell us about the subtext of a scene. I also touched on it yesterday, mostly because one of the spoiler pics from the filming outside the Louvre possibly involves a Jeep Cherokee (which I explain the relevance of in Trunk Ressurection 2) (and at this point this is only wild speculation on my part, nothing is confirmed) . TD has also tracked licence plates for years, which deserves a separate post so I'll leave that out for now, but it is relevant because it ties into the car symbolism.

So, anyone familiar with the Trunk Resurrection posts will understand why I was patiently waiting for a Crowned Victoria Pigeon reference, especially when I tell you that the police car Rick and Shane use in the car chase that goes horribly wrong in TWD 1X1 Days Gone By is a Ford Crown Victoria. The car was quite literally the first thing we saw in 1x1 Days Gone By.

From a symbolism language standpoint, Rick's Crown Victoria police car in season one ties into almost every symbol I'm tracking on this show. It's a car, which means it ties into the Three-Tree-Trunk theory (Trunk Ressurection 1 and 2), it's a police car, which means it ties into the Blue Clues theory, and we saw it in TWD episode 1 season 1 (which I talked about yesterday in relation to the 101-1x1-one one-symbolism).

TWD: Daryl Dixon episode 1 season 1 was wonderful in many ways, and symbolism-wise it was a treasure trove. I have so many thoughts it's difficult to decide which trails to explore first. Yesterday I touched on some stuff that I want to elaborate on here. It deals with the same stuff, but I'll try to tie it together some more, and mention a few other exemples that I find relevant. I mentioned the Venus and Sirius symbolism yesteday, and I'll continue to elaborate on that today.

Let's start with the opening minutes of 1x1 L'ame Perdue. We see Daryl, unconcious and resting on top of an overturned (inverted) boat (or shall we say VESSEL?), wash ashore on a French beach.

This little sequence of events sparked a chain reaction of lightbulbs firing in my brain.

For starters, all I could see initially was this:

We saw the painting "The Birth Of Venus" in TWD 7x3 WTDCK, and it was inverted. I've said it before and I'll say it again, @angelthefirst1 had an absolutely brilliant breakdown of the symbolism in TWD 10x18 Find Me, and she very cleverly was able to tie it to WTDCK. I think that's super relevant because Find Me, polarizing and divisive as it was, for me was one of the most magical episodes of the entire franchise. I thought it was absolutely saturated with "underworld" symbolism in every single scene, it was as though the veil between the Realm of the Dead and the Realm of the Living was particularly thin, and in my opinion it had a lot in common with Still and Alone in that respect. For someone who loves underworld themes and themes of liminal spaces between the realms of the dead and the living, it was pure magic. I even kind of liked Leah.

(A quick note on the name Leah, because I have zero self control when it comes to these things... For me, who's already primed to pick up on anything remotely underworld-coded...I wouldn' be true to my soul if I didn' put it out there that the name Leah is an anagram for Hela, which is the Norse goddess of Death. Hel in Norwegian, Hela in Swedish. Yeah. That's a hill I'm willing to die on. Leah was TWDU's Goddess of Death, Monarch of the Underworld. And I love that about her...ok, back to the regular scheduled programming)

In WTDCK, where we saw the famous Bottichelli painting, we could see that it was inverted. The painting depicts Venus, the Roman version of the Greek goddess Aphrodite, arriving onto the shore, aided by the wind gods, in a vessel that is also a sea shell.

In TWDDD 1x1, Daryl, with the help of the wind and ocean currents (I guess), reached shore on top of a vessel that was an inverted boat.

The painting is widely interpreted as to be dealing with themes of "rebirth", which @wdway had great insight into when I discussed this scene with her. When watching the opening minutes if TWDDD 1x1, where I saw the scene from Botticelli's "The Birth Of Venus", which is about "rebirth", she saw themes of baptism, which is ultimately also about rebirth.

When speaking of a "vessel", we are obviously normally alluding to a boat, or even vehicle, something meant as an instrument of transportation of some kind. But "vessel" can also be used about something which holds beverages, such as a "drinking vessel".

And as soon as we started down the rabbit hole of "drinking vessels" it was unavoidable that we eventually ended up discussing "Holy Grail" symbolism...

...which is something we've discussed a lot because of all of the thinly veiled references to the book and movie The Da Vinci Code we've seen in TWDU for at least the past seven years...

...which in turn is increasingly becoming interesting again, seeing as we keep getting spoiler pics of filming currently happening in and outside the Louvre. For those who aren't familiar with the book and film, here's a spoiler: the Holy Grail turned out to be the tomb of Mary Magdalene, hidden underneath the inverted pyramid under the glass pyramid outside the Louvre, where TWDDD are filming as I'm writing this. And there's more; the actual, real Holy Grail in the book wasn't so much Mary Magdalene herself as it was her womb, which in the story had carried and given birth to the child of Jesus, and one of the symbols of the female womb is a V... a reference to the shape of a uteris... Basically in TDVC the Holy Grail was the Tomb of the Womb. Or perhaps the Womb in the Tomb.

@wdway was kind enough to dig up her copy of the book and send over these convincing pics of the part in the book where Robert Langdon, the main character, and Sophie Neveu (spoiler alert: a direct decendant of JC himself) discuss the same symbolism I've just discussed above.

The female symbol:

Thanks @wdway, you're a star and an absolute legend!

Fear not, I'm not going to do a full synopsis of TDVC here, besides it's @wdway who is the real expert on these matters (she's been talking about chevrons for years). Go read it yourself, it's quite captivating. But for what it's worth, it does seem clear that someone in the writer's room in TWDU are more than just a little intrigued by the symbolism presented by author Dan Brown. And they're not afraid to use it in TWDU, because TD has consistently been tracking this type of symbolism since season 5 when Daryl paused in front of the carved wooden reproduction of Da Vinci's The Last Supper in Father Gabriel's church. Probably even before that, I have memories of TD'ers theorizing that Beth and Daryl's "white trash brunch" in 4x13 Alone was their "Last Supper", and that their kitchen scene was actually choreographed and modeled after Da Vinci's famous fresco.

And again, I'm bringing it up again because the writing of TWDDD 1x1 is practically forcing me to. That, along with the abundance of glorious spoiler pics from the Louvre...

Anyway, like the symbolism around the Blue Bird school buses and the Victoria Crowned Pigeon I mentioned initially, there are another few symbols I've been silently tracking over the years, and they both tie into the shot of Daryl stumbling out of the water, onto a Mediterranean beach, like a beautiful, though somewhat thirsty Venus or Aphrodite...

He finds a bucket of fresh water, and drinks it like his life depends on it (which it probably did, to be fair). And it's blue. Of course it is. A blue drinking vessel for our dehydrated but very much still alive Venus/Aphrodite...

My favorite method when it comes to researching symbolism revolves around etymology, first and foremost. Etymology is my go-to for everything symbolism related. And of course I've checked the etymology of the word "vessel" a long ass time ago.

How peculiar, the root word for "vessel" is "vas". And I'm not gonna lie, the results were interesting because OF COURSE I've also checked the etymology of the word "vase" a long ass time ago...

..and the reason for why I checked the etymology of the word "vase" back in the ancient times of Really Early TD was obviously because...

...I'm sure we all remember this lovely decorative piece on top of Beth's piano in 4x13 Alone.

BTW, @wdway, Queen of Chevrons and V symbolism would like you all to appreciate the lovely chevron pattern on Beth's knitted jacket...

...a pattern we've just established is a possible reference to the symbolism around the Holy Grail as it is utilized in TDVC...

And the reason we all instinctively knew this particular vase on top of Beth's piano was more than just random kitchy knick knack was because...

Yeah. In the words of the great Rick Grimes, "That vase...That's something special"...

Yeah. Rick Grimes knows a thing or two about vases/vessels, as he's just woken up from a Tour de Liminal Space between the Realms of the Dead and the Living...

Most certainly a special vase/vessel indeed...

In fact, it was special enough to make an appearence in a hallucination in TWD 9x5 The Bridge, when Rick "died" (but not really).

And much like our thirsty Venus/Aphrodite from the French beach...

...our OG Sirius figure Rick Grimes, the first one to dissappear from the night sky only to return/ressurect/be reborn later and have a reunion with his loved ones, was also feeling the dehydration after his return/resurrection/rebirth...

...and we know Beth likes her drink...

Remember how I’ve been talking about the importance of the Jeep Cherokee symbolism lately? I've even been theorizing, like the desperate fangirl I am, that one of the cars from the Louvre spoiler pics could be a Jeep Cherokee. (if you have no idea of what I'm talking about, do seek out yesterday's post plus the Trunk Resurrection posts)

A Cherokee rose in a beer bottle vase/vessel. Meant to instill hope and faith in Carol. Along with a story about the Grail of Tears, excuse-moi, TRAIL of tears…

(...also I have written probably 15 000 posts about beer symbolism in the past, check out those, and I also don't have time to elaborate on the name of the beer brand, Sweetwater, but I'm leaving it here for you @wdway)

I have a long list of Blue Clues, and I’ve compiled a bunch of them in the Blue Clue post, but among more recent examples that stand out is definitely the "Heart Of Blue" boat from 10x13 What We Become. Be sure to check out the numbers on the sail and tell me if you don't believe me when I say that the Blue Clues and the 101-1x1-one one- symbolism go together. Because it’s the number 11 (or 101-1x1-one one, as we discussed yesterday.

Also, @wdway who is a magician with numerology, would waste no time pointing out that the other number seen on the sail, the "22", represents the 22nd letter of the alphabet, namely the "V".

V for Venus perhaps? Or Team Violet?

This is the episode when Michonne finds Rick’s boots (boot = trunk = vessel) on a boat, no less (another vessel).

The boat has the numbers 672 written on its side...

...something which makes it easily recognizible in case we should happen to come across it again at a later point.

...which we did. We came across it again.

...like here, in the coda of 11x24 RIP, where we see a flashback of Rick throwing his backpack with his boots onboard the 672 vessel before he's apprehended by the Mean Helicopter Guy. This is why Michonne later was able to find his boots in the boat. Again, I highly reccomend this post by @angelthefirst1 for some absolutely glorious side-by-side comparisons of several Beth and Rick moments (and equally glorious additions by others).

So, from a symbolism point of view, what are we talking about here? It's about HOPE and FAITH. When Daryl told Carol the story of the Trail of Tears and the symbolism around the Cherokee Rose in season 2, it was to give her hope and faith. The Cherokee Rose in a beer bottle vase (vessel) is Daryl's vessel of hope and faith, extended to Carol at a time when she didn't have any.

When Michonne finds Rick's boots onboard the 672 vessel, she realises Rick could be alive (boot = trunk = vessel symbolism). She arrived at the island in a blue boat/vessel (called Heart Of Blue, no less), and she found Ricks boots (which in and of itself is a representation of Trunk symbolism, because boot = trunk, check out the Trunk Resurrection posts if you have no idea of what I'm on about) inside the boat/vessel, the same vessel we later see when we for the first time see Rick Grimes alive after he "died" (but not really) in 9x5 The Bridge.

Rick's boots gave Michonne the hope and faith she needed to go out in search of him. She found that hope onboard the 672 vessel.

Daryl's drinking vessel of choice when he stumbles out of the French waters in 1x1 L'ame Perdue is a blue bucket.

The vase we see on Rick's bed-side table in TWD 1x1 has blue decor on white background.

The vase we see on Beth's piano in 4x13 Alone has blue decor on white background.

The "Heart of Blue" boat that brings Michonne to the island where clues about Rick are to be found is blue (obviously, it's in the name), complete with a 101-1x1-one one-referance (and a 22-V referance) on its white sail.

It's like the vessel/vase symbolism represents the journey between the realms, a way for characters to move between the realms, a way in which loved ones, long thought to be dead, can travel between the realms, from the percieved Realm of the Dead, back into the Realm of the Living. They are vessels in which "dead" characters are given an opportunity to "wake up", they are vessels for "life", for "resurrection".

It's like they're Vessels of Hope and Faith...

...and venereal diseases?????

In case it doesn't come across, this helpful poster inside Michonne's Vessel of Hope and Faith implores the public to help stop the spread of syphilis and gonorrhea. I'm not at all opposed to effective public health measures, such as information campaigns, but this poster, in this particular episode, in a literal Vessel of Hope and Faith seemed super random. So I turned to my trusted old friend etymology for advice:

What do you know, the term "venereal” is directly linked to Venus, through my favorite academic dicipline etymology!

Michonne's vessel of hope and faith is ultimately a Venus reference. And because we love repetition:

Daryl stumbling out of the water is a dramatic reenactment of the Bottichelli painting The Birth Of Venus.

Venus and Sirius are two sides to the same story, as they're both concidered morning stars. Daryl's weapon of choise, outside the crossbow, is a Morningstar. Beth is a Sirius figure, a morning star.

Rick is the OG Sirius character, who disappeared from the night sky only to "resurrect" later. Beth is the next.

Beth, Rick and Daryl are all surrounded by the same blue bird symbolism.

And, there's currently filming going on at the Louvre, which, among other things, is home to the famous statue Venus de Milo.

And if this ol' fangirl is correct in her wild speculations, a car seen in a spoiler pic is a Jeep Cherokee, which certainly brings me lots of Hope and Faith that interesting Stuff and Thangs are coming up shortly in Daryl Dixon's European Adventure.

#bethyl #daryl dixon #beth greene #team delusional #team defiance #beth x daryl #the walking dead #twd

[sapphickatpoet]

My Issues with Portia’s Route

(Spoilers)

I’m gonna cut straight to the chase: Portia doesn’t go through any significant character development. Now, I know that some may say that in her Upright ending, she no longer keeps secrets. Sure, that may be true, but the devs ignored something about her character that was established early on in her route. She felt like she was the side character in her own story. She felt small, like she couldn’t do anything to help. All she wants to do is to save her brother, and for a moment, she felt as though she couldn’t even do that. She doesn’t know her worth

Those secrets of hers were all kept so that she could get closer and closer to finding her brother and bringing him home safe. Everything she did was based around that hope. Well, aside from inviting the whole Satrinava family to the masquerade. That was out of her starting to care for Nadia. Yes, Portia’s secrets did get out of hand, but it seems that the devs ignored the reason why she kept those secrets in the first place.

Then, there’s the deal with Tasya. I understand why the devs did what they did. All the LIs had some sort of connection to Lucio, the main villain. All of them, that is, except for Portia. Tasya was added so that Portia could have a personal connection with the villain of the story. Tasya is a great character, but I personally don’t like her addition to Portia’s route. It took everything the story established about Lucio being the villain and twisted it on its head. Now, Julian turns himself in to…protect Portia? The whole shtick with the Hanged Man was completely erased. It was addressed in the route, sure, but that was about it. Tasya’s addition to the story reminds me of how Disney was writing twist villains for a while. She twisted everything on its head until the story was too different than how it was originally laid out to be. Lucio and his many crimes weren’t even addressed when he was brought back to life! We don’t even know what happened to him in Portia’s Upright ending

I feel as though Lucio could’ve still worked as the villain in Portia’s route if the devs remembered how Portia saw herself as the side character in her own story. Lucio wouldn’t know who she is, but The Devil would. This could lead to The Devil trying to tempt Portia into deals, and at the very end, him brutally taunting her and telling her that she’s weak. That she’s powerless to save anyone.

The Upright and Reversed endings for each LI correlate to the tarot card they’re associated with. For Portia, it’s The Star. Both endings seem to do a decent job at this, as in her Upright ending, Portia is hopeful for the future ahead of her. Meanwhile, in the Reversed ending, Portia has lost her zest for life. However, I don’t like Portia’s reversed ending. She’s still the main character of her own story, something that (in my opinion) should’ve been focused on in her route. Of course, the outcome of each route also correlates to the character arc of each LI. The reversed meaning of The Star mainly refers to hopelessness. Despite the changes to everything, Portia still seemed pretty hopeful.

It isn’t just Portia’s route with issues like these; both Muriel’s and Lucio’s routes are riddled with plot holes and other problems saved for a different post. Portia was just completely sidelined by the devs in terms of her story, and were simply shoving in plot points for the sake of plot by the end of her route. Portia has more development in Nadia’s route and Julian’s route than in her own.

And we didn’t even have the masquerade in Portia’s route. I’m still salty to this day.

Of course, if you like Portia’s route, that’s completely ok. It’s a fun route, I will say that. However, it just has way more cons than pros.

#the arcana #the arcana game #portia the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #lucio the arcana #portia devorak #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #lucio morgasson

[drbased]

Time for another major take-down

This is a Big One. I'm going to analyse I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out.

Part 1

Let's get into it. Firstly, the note at the start: I hate how it's become commonplace to write something online - a literal public space, accessible to anyone - and then when criticised immediately back-track and call it 'private' and 'a diary entry'. This applies to radfems on tumblr, or anyone tbh. If you want something to remain private, write it privately.

Correlation, meet causation.

Yeah, there's a reason the phrase 'correlation does not equal cause causation' exists. But this is the primary tool of human narrative-making and exactly why it is so easy for trans-identified people to discover past 'evidence' of their gender. Occam's razor is thrown out because the dull reality feels much less significant than the constructed narrative.

Ever the magical thinker, I tell myself that if I wish out loud one thousand times, I will wake up with long hair in cute pajamas with a different name — and maybe freckles.

One might consider it a minor nitpick, but here lies the primary issue: the gender essentialism that people internalise as children is not discarded as sexist nonsense, but instead the sunk-cost fallacy works its magic. Of course, the author might be using some flowery language to merely evoke the image of 'girl' in the reader's mind - but the mere fact that someone in this culture is able to communicate the exact concept of biological sex by referencing sexed roles/expectations shows just how ingrained these beliefs are in our society.

The next part, at eight years old, is especially sad. Causation and correlation definitely have a rocky relationship here. He describes getting on with mostly women. Something as basic as being friends with and admiring the females in his life is seen as 'proof' of his female identity. But of course, you're a transwoman in the closet. How many of these 'women' you like and admire, are actually women? You say you think divorced, tattooed, Catie's mum is cool - what if that person is actually a man? Or if that feels like a cheap argument, do you think that all these women especially like you, above all other 'boys' your age? Do you think they can tell?

When I ask to sleep over at my friends’ houses, I am told I am not allowed. Boys are not allowed. My friend Caitie’s mother argues about this on the phone with my mother. I realize my mother is not on my side.

No sarcasm here - I don't really get this bit. Did you mean to write that girls are not allowed? Because historically, parents are fine with boys having sleepovers together - it's typically cross-sex sleepovers that parents find an issue with, for all sorts of reasons. Not allowing sleepvers with other boys would be a concern of your mum specifically; nothing to do with gender. And speaking of your mum, your takeaway is that she's not on your side? What a strangely powerful conclusion to come to from one minor thing. Parents give their kids all sorts of weird and stupid rules. She might have her own reasons to not let you go to sleepovers - have you, say, asked her?

I love everything my sister loves, but I will not admit it. I know she and her friends will make fun of me. I know my parents will chastise me and correct me. I am learning the rules, and I am learning that boys liking girl things is a very high stakes issue. I am learning that adults react the same way to my interest in makeup as they do to my interest in matches and lighters.

Oh, you're learning the rules, are you? Did you ever want to un-learn them, maybe question them a bit, at least wonder for a second why the rules are that way? I once asked a trans person in DMs if they'd wondered why certain gendered expectations exist, and they responded 'to be honest, I hadn't really thought about it'. Remember, trans people are supposed to know more about gender than cis people. I've known trans people IRL to obsess over the details of their passing with zero questioning of the status quo. The fact that we're supposed to consider this rhetoric to be truly radical is telling.

As if maybe, by being what I am, I might burn down something very important to them. Something that makes their life more comfortable and easy.

The reason that following gender expectations makes life comfortable and easy for 'cis women' is exactly the same as it is for you: because it means that they don't have to feel angry at the world, that they can accept that everything they learned during childhood is natural and healthy and they don't have to hate their parents, peers and other adults for demanding certain things of them, and now as adults they retain certain 'perks' for conforming. You're only fractionally better because you're rejecting one set of expectations in favour of another - but in another way you're a whole lot worse because you're literally a member of the oppressor class wearing the costume of the oppressed class and thinking that makes you privy to their experiences. You're the one with a privilege so important to you that women's freedom and liberation would burn it down.

I am jealous of my sister’s clothing. One day, home alone after school, I sneak into her room and pull on her Tinkerbell Halloween costume. I slip the elastic straps over my shoulders, then the tights along my legs. It fits.

Ah, the classic. The charitable version of me acknowledges that many trans people have been perfectly willing to admit (especially pre 2016) that they're dysphoric over sex and will accept these surface-level associations purely to help them relieve dysphoria. And I understand that. But this man claimed at the start that correlation = causation, here. And you cannot tell me that everyone who has read this will be thinking as deeply as I am - many people are fully happy to admit that this has nothing to do with sex and entirely to do with gender i.e. gendered roles and expectations. To many people, that Tinkerbell costume is synonymous with 'female'. It makes you wonder why we decided to say that vaginas are female sex organs at all, if gender can be summed up with long hair and cute pyjamas.

#my writing

[middlenamesage]

Perhaps it’s just my biased opinion based on what I need to heal and feel transformed by something, but it’s my opinion nonetheless that people are giving away their personal agency when they immerse themselves in the world of astrology and/or tarot in a significant ongoing way, only to rely mainly on what readers tell them about themselves and the dynamics in their lives.

These subjects would never have shaped up to be spiritually and emotionally healing for me if I didn’t take on exploring and learning them to the point that I’ve developed a felt understanding of the way energies correlate to my world. I have personal relationships with the planets of sorts, and the healing, inspirational, and self insightful value of this is on a very different level than relying on the insights mixed with projections that will inevitably come from every single person reading someone else’s chart. I’ve only officially seen a professional astrologer once, but I’m always very open to incorporating the astrological knowledge and insight that others share (that includes anyone that has good insights, professional or not) when it helps continue my journey of understanding.

Why anyone would want to be into tarot, only for them to only ask for readings from others, is actually more hard for me to understand. It’s not that readings from others have no place. But tarot connects you to your own intuition. With tarot, it doesn’t even actually matter if you’ve done academic research on the cards. (You can if it helps you see more things about them!) What your intuition tells you the cards mean for you is what matters.

It can be so healing to learn to trust yourself to interpret what your own intuition tells you about the cards you draw. Just as taking the time to learn astrology, and to personally connect with it through watching the transits in your life, if you feel able and excited to take this on, is on a different level when it comes to healing and understanding than seeing astrologers alone.

Blessings to all on their educational and/or self understanding and healing journeys.

💫

#controversial astrology opinions from someone who herself reads others’ charts #self empowerment #spiritual healing #learn astrology #astrology #astrology community #tarot #learn tarot #spirituality

[siesffuts]

Witch Hat Atelier Speculation-Tartah ingested silver when he was younger in order to become a witch

I'm only on chapter 22 of WHA, so I figure this has already been touched on by now. But fuck it. Im'a text my piece regardless.

So when I saw this panel on pg. 19 of ch. 13, I was immediately curious if argentosis was a real condition. First result I got was a page on Wiktionary which explained that it's an alternate form of the Latin word argentosus which means "full of silver, silvery, silver-bearing". This seemed to partially line up with what Qifrey says on pg. 26 of the same chapter. "[It] is an affliction of the eyes. From the moment you are born, everything appears as if it's enveloped in a silvery sheen."

That didn't quite answer my question, so after going through a couple more search results, it was not commonly used but it did lead me to a wikipedia article on something with a different name. Another relevant find was a Quora page which described the same condition just with a different name across different websites. What I could glean is that the term is perhaps an outdated, less commonly or incorrectly used substitute term for Argyria. The National Library of Medicine states that it is a "... dermatologic condition that is acquired by exposure to or ingestion of silver, and it presents with the insidious onset of gray or blue mucocutaneous discoloration." Can't speak for anyone else, but the first time me and several of my peers had heard of it was via Paul Karason in science class if I recall correctly.

However it's plain to see the kid doesn't have any noticeably discolored skin anywhere, so the more relevant term for Tartah would be Argyrosis, or Ocular Argyrosis more specifically as that and Argyria are used interchangeably by some. That NCBI article I mentioned earlier lists it as one of the 3 subtypes along with generalized argyria and localized argyria. Unfortunately I couldn't find anything to indicate there's any correlation between it and a difficulty or inability to see color.

Since that's the end of the real-world information I could obtain, my proposal is a simple one. Back in chapter 5, we're told the importance of silver trees in regards to their unique importance as the only way to get magic ink, and that they can poisonous which is semi-similar to how silver is slightly toxic in our slightly less fantastical and scary world. My idea is that Tartah in someway ingested or came into contact with either a branch of a tree or some of its byproduct to help himself become a witch. This makes a bit more sense to me from a narrative standpoint. What I mean is that in trying to further his dream, in a way he hindered himself in one of the most detrimental ways he could've considering how highly valued eyesight is, and how little tolerance witches at large have for deviants and exceptions as Qifrey states in the chapter where we learn about Tartah's circumstances mentioned above. While I don't envy him and think it's misplaced to call him lucky, it does position him to challenge the rules which are so set in stone that even the mere existence of people like Coco poses a threat to collapse Witch society entirely. But that's all I got for now your they's gotta eat.

If anyone out there who's more knowledgeable than I on the real world science of the subject, as well as the significance of silver from an alchemy standpoint, would care to prove, disprove, or elaborate on anything I've put forth so far

(WITHOUT SPOILERS)

I'd greatly appreciate it.

#witch hat atelier #WHA #Tartah #speculation #mine

[v-akarai]

what she says: I'm fine

what she thinks: Yeah, you could name fem!Adam as Eve and then eves would be called adams but—

First of all, it's the name Adam that can be translated as (or maybe it’s better to say connected to) “human”, that reflects the humanity aka the human nature Kuro had lost and his fall. In the Bible the Fall happened because Eve had succumbed to the forbidden knowledge = had decided to go against God's order. Meanwhile, at eves' requests dead persons were brought back to life and turned into servamps i.e. were made to accept sin and in one way or another become the personifications of it (like it was with Kuro: maybe he had some tendency to apathy and carelessness(lol, sure) before, but after he was turned into vampire, with all consequences, these flaws have bloomed). Well, it explains once again why eves are called the Reason (for the sin).

In addition, since the serpent persuaded Eve that God was afraid of her and Adam becoming like him, it can be said that Eve at least didn't mind becoming like God? And that would correlate with St.Germain's desire to overcome death and create an immortal human being.

Also, it’s obvious that the person we would mourn is supposed to be very significant and special to us. But "Adam and Eve" in Servamp take that importance to extremes, like: "you were so important to me that for me other people don't exist". As if they were the only people on Earth. Or rather it sounds like "now it's only me and your death". Isn’t it how one could describe the state of someone who was left alone with their grief? They may feel this way or really be in this situation. Like Hugh, who didn't have any close friend or anyone to share his pain with. Gluttony is a bad example, since the owner depended on Ildio only financially.

Besides, eves' death due to the distance limit makes them look like a more dependent half - like a part of some organism that dies when separated (the philosophical interpretation’s presented in canon but I wanted to try to compare this concept with something else). Returning to the Biblical Eve, she was created from Adam's rib, i.e. she has a part of him in her. Without the creation of Adam there wouldn't be Eve in the conventional sense. She wasn’t created from scratch but from the sample of the human, bone of bone, flesh of flesh. So, maybe eves’s dependance can be an interpretation of that sequence? But probably I take it too literally.

And one more time about the names. Eve can be translated as "life" or "life-giver", while Adam, in addition to "man", can also mean "earth" (that is, dust from the ground into which God breathed the breath of life). Let’s say that life reflects itself in a living being and is "invisible" without it. In contrast, a human without life turns back to earth, but we still can tell by mortal remains that a human was here..I forgot where I was heading to with this thought, sorry. Maybe, again, to the unequal codependency or to the contrast between earth as something material and life as something abstract, idk. Anyway

In the Bible Adam had called his wife Eve because she became the mother of all living (Gen. 3:20). In Servamp, thanks to Eve, the living dead are all around here… that also counts, I guess? Also it’s an eve who gives blood to a servamp; in the past it was believed that life was in the blood and etc.

All in all, coming back to from what I started, fem!Kuro concept is unimplementable. bye

no, wait, it can be done

however, some meanings will be irretrievably lost and will have to be replaced by something new.

#servamp #i must have taken a wrong turn.....

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i rewatched fury road and it is not penciled in on my daily agenda to type too much here even though i can't keep anything brief but like. i mean as ever: furiosa: everything to me

i had just recently been musing on like. the Connections and Interactions from Afar, like, maybe close enough to see someone rather than Necessarily scores of miles away type of farness, but wherein like, intimacy, A Dynamic, a Connection, Significance, etc, can all be happening at peak like depth and importance and genuineness without this being correlated with increasing physical proximity or direct contact....the way that the dynamics that are developing and shifting with relationships in fury road being like, so little of this is happening through Speaking. there's such non normative interacting / socializing / communicating from all these mfs like this Pwns. furiosa's pure "i am here behind you and shoot you a quick silent Gesture without even looking directly at you b/c i saw you in my peripheral vision look back enough to see me in Your peripheral vision" like. the way she and nux are perfect comrades mode in the end without her having spoken to him since pointing a gun at him, with her prior interactions being: [spit in face], prior to that, [knife at throat]. but it all makes perfect sense when it's about shifting from "are you at least not someone who's immediately trying to kill me" to "our goals are parallel / not at odds rn" to truly sharing Thee Same goal, beyond any more tentative alignment.

like there's not that much of like, showing us how relationships have developed via displays of Verbal Rapport, though there's varying illustrations of people's ease, and style, with Talking....nux quickly becoming quite affably relatively chatty, presumably from having always been around a bunch of peers, the girls having a somewhat more "strange" way of talking amongst themselves, the other girls having more humor and talkativity when there's been more of them and living more freely, furiosa also fairly isolated but presumably having regular opportunities to talk, if even just in her capacity as imperator....the Nonspeaking speaks to me, the way What People Are Doing for each other, what they Aren't doing to each other, all matters beyond anyone needing to go "you're alllllright!" only after some like, cooldown messing around usual Rapport Building scenes or anything like that, though of course it's relevant that they hardly have time or space for that anyways....just like, it matters first and foremost that people aren't people who want you dead, and it matters that people are people who are trying to live, and they're listening and paying attention to each other even beyond "this person is directly &/or extensively conversing with me"

i can't go on all day ugh i love how little Conversing matters lmfao. i love how What Really Matters is what really matters. the entire arcs happening despite nobody's "normal" socializing with each other....toast becoming like, closer to furiosa, taking to the Fighting & Weapons Handling of it all, standing near her, talking to her, having that peak position of relevance during the climactic events....thinking like damn f for the valkyrie every time and that gayass reunion (hell yeah) and dying 5 min later, but eventually finally noticing in full like my god the fact that she took out a few mfs who furiosa then did not later have to battle while losing blood, air capacity, that Interaction of Great Significance from afar....thinking about the journey of "does knowing my name matter" to "sharing my name as this manifestation of [sips water HUMANITY RESTORED] but via, like, having [HUMANITY] of others' shared with you, finally, as well as your sharing your own, the interactions based on That vs nothing beyond 'you are not going to kill me in the immediate future / i don't yet have to fight or flee over anything from You'" like, in my still like "wow. driving" enhanced sensitivity and just like ready to think of things re: Autistacity it's like, truly this realm where [who can you know isn't about to kill you or only Just willing to ignore you for now at best?] where [to whom are you not only a possible threat or merely an obstacle] where [whomst is caring about What Matters and what people are Actually Doing and pursuing Actually Getting To Live. all versus someone's superficial affect of warmth or charm or Normality or w/e tf all that hardly matters that much, sure not More than what they Actually Do and their Actual Goals] the [fr how it's so not like Speaking Is Everything out here, fuck yes] like idk cried hard at that My Name Is Max moment beyond any degree before lol like might've gotten momentarily misty as is easy enough for me to do, but shed two whole tears this time. fury road you're so much to me....furiosa you're soooooooo Everything

#fury road #mmfr #things also making me think like furiosa didn't share her name either did she lol #but it was Just Said then; could've been [this is our furiosa] overheard; probably overheard at the very start. imperator gone rogue....

[spatio-rift]

Sakuma will have parent that don't care about him,that why he so jalous or idk about kidou

Im the person about the ie timeline

Je suis pas fraiçais-e mais marocain-e

interesting.... i admit i dont really see how the two would correlate especially given kidous own family situation but maybe im just not understanding this the way you mean it so if you want to elaborate on why you think this i am all ears! as for what i personally think i will be honest i might have something of a controversial understanding of shin teikoku (?) because i genuinely dont think it says anything really significant about sakuma as a character... so im not a huge fan of using shin teikoku as a reference for his characterization or for drawing conclusions about other aspects of his life. but of course that is just me and everyone is free to do whatever they want im not here to police anyone on this.

also do keep in mind that i like the way these events unfold in the game more so thats what my reference is rather than the anime. so maybe we are already speaking about completely different things but here goes. this is long as hell so under a readmore this one goes too

to me shin teikoku doesnt really say much about sakuma and genda as people because so much of the 'issues' it brings to light are relevant on fudous manipulation and literal brainwashing using the aliea meteorite lol. also, the issue in the first place isnt something that is really proper to them or sakuma alone... the feelings fudou exploits to get them to join shin teikoku are something all of teikoku have experienced: the frustration of being stuck in the hospital, their humiliating defeat against zeus making them feel powerless, the slight bitterness about kidou leaving them and the subsequent awkwardness preventing them from staying in contact (they didnt want to be a bother while he was with raimon). even the desire to see through kidous eyes for once instead of just watching his back is something they all have felt--thats the kind of leader kidou was for teikoku, he led by example. he had to be the best to guide everyone else. hes not the kind of captain that walks beside you like endou is.

but the thing is, ultimately, their love of kidou is stronger than any of those negative feelings towards him. the other members of teikoku are fine. they respect kidous decision, even if its a little awkward and they miss him. none of them are self-destructively jealous and resentful of him. not naturally.

to me it could have been anyone from teikoku, because they all felt this way on some level, and they all could have been manipulated into joining shin teikoku (and also, rather than any personal characterization moment or growth, the purpose of having teikoku members in this chapter is more about them being used by kageyama to hurt kidou 🙃).

what fudou does with genda and sakuma is that he pushes and pushes until he pokes at these feelings deep inside, and strikes when theyre shaken and in doubt. genda and sakuma, on some level, worry that kidou abandoned them and that theyre not strong enough. what does fudou do, then? he keeps putting them down, criticizing them when they mess up, insulting them, so they feel even worse about themselves. he keeps insisting that kidou threw them away, that he left them all to rot, that he stabbed them in the back, so they feel actual anger and resentment towards him. coupled with the use of the aliea meteorite to literally brainwash them into doing things they dont want to. (they dont willingly use beast fang and kp1 btw. in sakumas own words, in the brief moment when he breaks free of the aliea brainwashing, "R-run! [Kidou], get out of here! Y-you don't stand a chance if you take him on now... He's going to make us use that special move!")

to come back to the jealousy aspect and wanting to get a taste of kidous power, thats something they admit to only realizing through this whole ordeal. thats not something they consciously felt before. and even then when they briefly broke free of the brainwashing, while they admitted wanting to feel as powerful as kidou, they urged him to flee because they didnt want to hurt him. so even if they ARE jealous in a way, i feel like its more of a "i want to be strong too" thing than a "i want to be better than kidou and stick it to him, specifically" thing, personally? <- im only mentioning this because ive occasionally seen some people talk about shin teikoku in that way kinda and its like. wild to me

if anything i think that arc says a lot more about kidou and his past relationship with the team and how they can change to grow into something more healthy (closing the gap between them by having kidou let them come close to him and for them to stop relying on and admiring him so much. incidentally, this is pretty much exactly what happens to kidou and sakuma in ie3! they are much more like actual close friends now, with no invisible line drawn between them!) than sakuma and genda themselves.

errrm all in all i dont think sakuma ever was particularly jealous of kidou out of shin teikoku or at least not any more than the others. his feelings just were taken advantage of and exploited by fudou and kageyama. also, the brainwashing is a huge part of it and i wish people acknowledged that more. sorry for going on a massive tangent about shin teikoku like this over this one short ask thats something ive always wanted to talk about in some way and well this was the occasion !

#inzm #also my apologies about the nationality assumption 🙇‍♂️ i do find it wonderful how this franchise is beloved #across the world though :)

[cmiyczine]

I'm an artist that applied and I think you both have points. 1. My own feelings don't hold any weight compared to the suffering of the Palestinian people. I appreciate your compassion but many of us (not all, but a significant amount and possibly majority considering this was introduced as a Palestine charity zine right out the gate) do acknowledge that our personal internal hurt feelings don't matter when considering actions to aid Palestine, much like our own grief fatigue shouldn't be used as an excuse to quit or take a long, long break in the name of self care. It's a common principle among pro-Palestinian activists. 2. Given the aid we're intending to provide, we do want to get this out as fast as possible. HOWEVER. 3. You're right about this timeline being loose. We must have it be somewhat flexible to allow for the best possible quality in order to turn the most profits from the people who wouldn't otherwise actively choose to donate to help Palestine. Plus higher quality will mean we can raise the prices a tiny bit without it seeming out of line to those who want this for the product and not the donation.

I admire your compassion and our ethics vary when it comes to personal feelings in the wake of mass tragedy of, supposedly, strangers. But the fact that you're making this at all isn't something to be ignored. It's still a donation campaign. I think, should you attempt this kind of charity zine again, if the guilt of rejecting people is still overwhelming, have a template to fill out where the blanks you fill in make it personal, and add a unique comment about their work in there somewhere. That might be a workable balance that doesn't compromise the principles of many involved.

I say with this big a project there's no one predominant mindset, but a handful, and I'm not just going to jump ship if I get accepted since it's very much worth it. There are other charity projects that are more prompt and seemingly more experienced, but I'm not qualified for. Not to mention this is the serious version of "holy shit, two cakes". I have my personal beliefs about how this should be operated, but whatever is done is done and money will be made anyway, and it'd take longer to get the money if I started my own zine, something I have no knowledge or experience with.

Whether what you're doing is the right way to do it or not, it's still right that you're doing it at all.

And, frankly, you were explicit about the cause of the delay and it didn't appear to be anything affecting the organization and release of money, so I'll foreseeably disagree with that anon on that front; there is no clear correlation.

This project shouldn't devolve into passionate emotional arguing this early. What's important is that it's a project in the first place and since it's started it'd be an immoral waste to drop it. The only other important thing is that anyone who leaves, as they are not profiting off of this, foes so by choice and is able to by choice.

Thank you for your message. You are right about one thing : This project shouldn't devolve into passionate emotional arguing this early. Nor it should EVER.

It is is so easy for you as an outsider to say that most participants should not put their emotions above that of the suffering of Palestinians. Which I evidently completely agree about. But you were not the one going through the applications. I've read every single one, I've read their name and pronoms, saw their galleries, read about them gushing about the characters theyd want to draw, read their suggestions for the project. Each of these person, just like each palestinian, is one whole universe. And It was completely out of the question for me to just bcci everyone with a copied and pasted message of rejection.

If you think I am displaying too much empathy, You wont believe what fuelled me to sacrifice a significant amount of my time and sanity for this project in the first place. I do NOT want to be the cause of hurt for anybody. And You might have nerve of steel and brush a rejection easily, But it is an issue and a struggle for many others. I dont know the psychological profile of the people who applied. And you know wat ? I dont care. Were it any other project I would have done the same. I do not want to cause hurt to anybody. People can feel empathy for Palestine while feeling hurt about a project they were enthusiastic about too. There is no hierarchy in emotions.

I cant believe people are getting ok my case for a delay of a few days because I couldnt bring myself to be NOT be empathic toward participants, when it is litteraly that same empathy that has my heart bleeding for Palestine everyday. I am supposed to be humanitarian toward the people of palestine but not toward the people whom sent applications ? I dont know how you function but my empathy doesnt have a filter nor a hierachy. I feel for everyone, wether the hurt is small or unbearable.

If you do not approve of my methods, I beg you to please unfollow this project and move along. Make your own Palestine project. I am no one, I am irrelevant, I've only organized one zine, I just have friends whom have taken care of big projects. If someone like me can orgazine a charity project then so can you.

Come back in a few months and see the results as well. Maybe you'll realize that gettting on my case for a few days delay was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

#ask

[gayleefiora]

just had a significant realization. all this time i spend wishing i could help you or take back what i said or like... assuming that how much i love you should correlate to some ability to help you isn’t in line with the future i want for us.  here’s the problem as i see it now: i did help you. so much. you said it constantly, i see that it is true. you helped me to the same degree, but you don’t see it that way, because your self-loathing and sense of unworthiness is much more severe than mine, because i have been working on this for so long. you don’t (or didn’t) have the ability to see how amazing you are and how much your existence has helped me. so it feels highly uneven to you, which is then compounded by severe trauma.  so the more compassionate or wanting to help i am, the worse the imbalance feels to you, which only makes you feel worse.  i got where i am by fighting thru this hard, hard shit with almost no one by my side- certainly no one who would give me answers or support when i needed it. the universe wanted me to learn. i could only do that on my own, and only on my own could i gain the riches of it. you are on a similar journey. for me to deny that would be to rob you of your right to power, to self-sufficiency, to loving yourself. the only way we will ever be equal is if we both love ourselves independently of any feeling about each other. if we are living the lives we want having built them from the ground up, rather than feeling reliant on anyone else. since we both struggle with self-loathing, that’s been very hard; each of us unable to understand why the other would love us when we see a monster where they see an angel.  but if we were in contact, it wouldn’t be better. its not better for you to feel any kind of obligation to me, and even if that’s not what i mean when i offer help, that’s what you feel and that’s not what either of us want. i have to have faith. in you, in myself, in the universe. if it is love to the degree of which i think of it, then it has a chance. but i have to stop seeing your commitment to yourself as somehow slighting me. i have to understand you in the context of yourself, and not in the context of how i think of you. & you have to do the same for me, take me off the pedestal. you don’t need me, and that’s a good thing. i don’t need you- but i love you. the energy has not been destroyed or changed form. however, me compulsively reaching out wanting to be in contact goes against the rules of the universe and this seems to be understood better by you than me. understanding it is not grounded in your hatred of me makes it make a lot more sense. you have never hated me. you have loved me in spite of everything within you and outside of you telling you love is a lie, is impossible, is only pain and betrayal. you loved me when you felt nothing.  it makes sense. i hate it, but it makes sense. i miss you so terribly, i love you so much, but hearing those things isn’t helpful to you, because you do not love you the way i love you. not yet. i think/hope you are getting there. i hope the universe is taking care of you the same way it took care of me. the learning is so hard.  miss you <3 love you <3 but me being near you is not helpful because i am not what you need. you are what you need. i am what i need. being in line with our destinies is what we both need. if we can live that as truth then there is a chance- i have faith in that