#when someone is terrified but also feels strongly enough to overcome that to make their point | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

avelera · 2 years

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Can I just say how freaking Satisfying it was to read the part in giving sanctuary where dream realizes that of course, to a man who grew up surrounded by the goddamn plague, a table loaded with food would be his idea of heaven? Because god, that was satisfying. (Dream, I adore you, but sometimes I want to hit you with a pool noodle.)

I find the contrast between Dream knowing things & understanding them absolutely fascinating in ur fics. For example, in come live with me, how dream starts to realize there are lots of parts of hobs life he leaves out because he thinks they are too sad, shameful, or boring for Dream. It makes his character development *chefs kiss*, and the steps he takes towards trying to understand people all the more meaningful. Because what is loving someone if not trying to know them, despite already knowing their life story? :)

;____; Thank you so much!

(I promise, CLWM will update soon, I'm just an idiot who had the next scene be a really steamy sex scene there and writing the Naxos arc of Giving Sanctuary at the same time is NOT conducive to jumping between the fics, arrrrgghhhg)

But in all seriousness, I'm having one of those "I know I was doing that because to me, there's a natural divide between "knowing" something and "understanding" something, but I had no idea I was doing it that strongly in the fic" and I feel really seen in a good way that you spotted that and you explaining it back is really making me think now and self examine and get very excited about what your observation says about the story that was both intentional but also a bit subconscious!

(Cut for CLWM and Giving Sanctuary behind the scenes rambling)

Because I believe Dream absolutely "Knows" that humans face privation but does he, a being who does not need to eat, sleep, or even breathe truly Understand what it would be like to experience that? Does he understand it enough to understand the contrast between having nothing and having excess, or does he only see the boorishness of the largess?" Dream has understanding but he lacks empathy. And worse, he often doesn't even try to have it.

There's a line in Brief Lives (which I was recently re-reading for GS) where Destruction says that in the past, Dream just saw other living beings especially humans as (paraphrased) "things that dream" - things that serve Dream's function. Almost like they're crops that need tending rather than individuals with inner lives. Which is actually a terrifying thing to learn about the creature that tends the dreams of humanity because of its potential for sheer monstrousness, of seeing those in his care as literal livestock. But I believe Dream can overcome this, he's not inherently a monster, but to paraphrase Pratchett, the root of all evil is seeing people as things, and I think from that perspective, Dream had immense potential to become a monster, for the Nada situation to be the norm not an exception and that he could have become worse if something didn't derail his trajectory. The fishbowl might have been excessively cruel but something was needed to force Dream to look in a mirror and have a serious examination of whether he liked what he saw!

And I love Hob being a source of reversal on this aspect of Dream as opposed to the cruelty of the fishbowl! Like, obviously, because I ship them and I'm writing romance instead of long form comic books, my take on how Dream could be set on the path to emotional redemption is via falling in love with another person. And I think there's canonical evidence to back that up. Heck, I think there's canonical comic evidence that the reason Hob and Dream don't have more scenes together in the comic is because you can feel Dream's self destructive narrative flexing, crumbling, breaking when he's around Hob.

Having one friend (regardless of romance but I think romance helps supercharge this) who truly only knows and likes Dream for who he is really puts lie to Dream's entire schtick about only existing as a story and not being able to change. It's hard to maintain those ideas if someone like Hob is in your life. Hob, who is the anti-story in a way, who just continues to live because being a person and being alive is the ultimate experience, it doesn't require a character arc, it doesn't require an ending to be satisfying to him!

Hob's not going to end his own life for love like someone would in a story, not even for his own child, not even for Dream, his only constant. But he will be there to share life with Dream or with anyone who partakes (I've realized while reading Brief Lives that the way I write Hob at least is basically Destruction if he wasn't Endless or Dream's brother lol and I've been noodling on that a bit). I think given Dream's melodrama, that's a very radical point of view to have in his life, and if the narrative allowed Hob and him in a room together more well... heck, even in the comic, they have a ton of bizarrely romantic interactions, like you can feel that relationship poking at the borders of the story until it's wrenched away.

Anyway! Pardon my ramblings, the ADHD meds are kicking in and I love warming up my brain and fingers for the day with a rambling meta piece XD

#1689 fic #arranged marriage au dreamling #sandman meta #dreamling

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marisunfilteredthoughts · 3 months

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Take me back in time

Take me back so I can sit her down and tell her to stop

So I can tell her how many times this will make her cry

So I can let her know she will not be hearing those words again and that they will utterly and completely lose all meaning

So I can tell her that when she will show and give more of herself she will not get the more she needs in return, not even time

They are not going to stay up till you feel better, like they once did. They won’t even tell you how they feel and you won’t talk about it bc in the amount of time you have everyone wants to be happy

She also needs to know that her boundaries won’t be respected. They will be broken and crossed one by one bc the other side is not interested in maintaining them

She needs to know that no one will stop touching her when she doesn’t understand what’s going on. No one is going to take into consideration that these are her first experiences and they’re not even in love with her. They aren’t even committed to her in any way nor can ever give her that. In their outside world this relationship doesn’t exist. They won’t even stay long enough for her to digest what has happened. She’ll have to do it alone or on text or not at all. But they’ll still want her.

Or they won’t and she won’t be able to decide which one is worse

And she’ll be terrified finding herself in a situation where she wants and is used to certain physical affection and care but is reluctant to express it bc there is a major chunk she doesn’t want irl. She’ll be terrified that other limits will be crossed. Limits that require a lot of important affection and promises in return. There are things she strongly doesn’t want but she’s terrified that in the moment she won’t speak. These things (some of them) might seem small to others. These things she might not be able to overcome. And in all of this she won’t be able to discuss anything bc they won’t say anything

Take me back

Take me back bc I need to tell her, my beautiful angel, literally meri jaan, you will never be loved and cared for like you are being told. In other ways yes but not those

You are extremely special and someone else is living you as their dream. A very pretty fantasy they had. And it won’t matter that you’re not in love with them the shattering of it will hurt every time you realize you’re actually alone

It will go from every time to very few times and it will not always be the same pain, it’ll transform. But it’s (hurt is) a b*tch and you adore the idea of love, you won’t stop wanting a story for yourself so it will still hurt bc waiting is painful too and you’re the moon, it’s definitely gonna take an outer space being to come and settle with you which is gonna take an infinite amount of time

Coming to reality I couldn’t protect you but you did pretty okay alone. You’ll be fine. And inshallah you’ll be safe. God will keep you safe, all of you. From your heart, mind and emotions to your body, you’ll be safe.

I love you

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catzula · 3 years

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Hey there! I saw your post on cheater gojo and i wanted to say that i agree! Gojo just wouldn't put himself in a situation where he'd cheat, and just wouldnt get into relationships in the first place. I think for that reason when he falls for someone that person will need godlike patience since he'll probably be terrified and spend ages overcoming that fear of it all going wrong

anon means this post if you haven't seen it.

Exactly!

I'm pretty sure Gojo has intimacy issues, not physically but emotionally. He often covers his feelings and thoughts by playing the annoying trickster because of this, too.

Also, I think all his life Gojo looked for the perfect person. He has an ego, people, he knows thinks he is near perfect in many ways and he doesn't think anyone is good enough to stick with.

So he looks for the perfect, it's almost like a challenge for him. He finds the most unreachable person around, plays the game of will they fall for me, and when they do, the magic ends and he leaves.

It might be because he's afraid they'll get close enough to see he's also imperfect, that he's not as he seems- it's terrifying for him to show his vulnerabilities to anyone.

So when he falls for someone, he falls in love. It isn't anything light- it's the kind of feelings he won't ever feel again this strongly.

This person is not perfect, and Gojo knows this from the very beginning. He doesn't find them either, it's more of a coincidence and for a while, Gojo doesn't think of anything romantic with them at first.

They are flexible, they don't suffocate him and give him the lone time he needs, but they also know where to say no- stop, you're drifting away, you're taking it too far.

When Gojo notices how strong his feelings are, he immediately will push you away, because you can't get closer, can't see who he really is, or you'll see he's not worthy of love.

It'll be a painful and a long process to ease him, tell him it's okay, he can be vulnerable. I'm so fucking sure he'll try to sabotage the relationship as well for a while. 10 out of 9, no one can tolerate this process, I'll say. It's really hard trying to get close and love a person that doesn't want it.

He might get the feeling that you're too close, it might make him so scared he might try to leave, but he loves you a little too much to do so. That's what I mean by sabotaging, he won't be able to leave, so he'll try to make you leave instead.

Still, push past it, and you'll see he's not the person he acts to be. He's human, as well, unfortunately for him, but when he realizes you still love him, despite everything- Gojo will never feel the need of any other stimulation, any other person, because why would he when he has someone that loves him with his insecurities?

It'll be scary- so so so scary, but if you have enough patience and love, it'll be something else to earn the love of him, as well.

#IS IT THAT OBVIOUS IM KINNING HIM?#no but #good luck if you love this guy #jjk x reader #jjk gojo #jjk x you #jjk headcanons #jjk x y/n

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scarletarosa · 4 years

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The Passage into the Afterlife

Throughout history, the thought of what happens to someone after death has long fascinated and terrified the human race. One may be surprised to discover that every story holds some truth to it. The following documentation has been long researched by myself through both astral traveling and through communicating with Minos, one of the three Judges of the Underworld. This is not intended to force beliefs, but to prepare those who are open on this subject for what lies ahead.

The Ka and Ba

Before getting into what occurs after death, one must understand the difference between the Ka (spirit) and Ba (higher self/soul). This is a concept that can be read about further in Ancient Egyptian belief. Basically, the Ba is the higher self who is immortal and dwells in the realms of spirit. When the Ba chooses to incarnate onto a planet, they choose an “unborn spirit” to embody. These two entities then come together in the womb, and then the Ba closes their eyes, awaiting the time when their human will mature and seek higher knowledge (if they ever do).

If the Ba is fortunate, their human will begin seeking true knowledge of the spirit realms and of higher selves, causing the Ba to awaken and begin guiding the human they dwell within. So we as we are right now, are all Ka; our Ba (higher selves) dwell within us. Most humans have a higher self who is also human, but some have higher selves who might be angelic, demonic, draconic, elven, fae, etc.

The Moment of Death

When we die, we separate from this body and emerge on the spirit plane of Earth. This is temporary, for Earth is the transitioning place before we move on. During this period, there are several things that can happen: if we chose to be cremated, we immediately disconnect from our bodies, but if buried, we remain stuck next to our body for a period of time, depending on how long it takes for the connection to be lost. In a case where one commits suicide, the afterlife is not pleasant, and the Judges seek to punish the human for abandoning their purpose and will delete them from existence. For the humans who died a horrific death, they typically refuse to move on, causing them to become wraiths (hauntings). This action causes the Ka to be permanently separated from their Ba, eventually causing the Ka to go insane and then become a poltergeist.

Voyage to the Underworld

In most cases, the Ka emerges from their body and spends around three days (at least) wandering places on Earth that are familiar to them, as they will be restricted from going anywhere else. Most of the time, people do not realize that they have died. After these days, a psychopomp will arrive to collect the Ka and bring them to the Underworld. The Underworlds in every religion (not including Hell) are all the same place, but include many different kingdoms across the vast land. Once arriving in the Underworld, the Ka will wait to be seen at the Gaunt Palace, where they will confess their corrupt actions to the three Judges in front of a large council, then the council will discuss what fate they should have. The Judge, Minos, will have the final say. Once this is done, the three Judges will direct the Ka to be sent to a specific kingdom of the Underworld depending on what the persons’ beliefs were while alive. So while some may be approached by Hades, others might instead face Anubis and Osiris, or Hel, or Ereshkigal, etc. People who were Monotheists, however, will just arrive in a place similar to the gloom of the traditional Greek Underworld (Hades).

Once the Ka meets with their specific Underworld god, the deity will then give that spirit trials to undergo within their designated level of the Underworld (there are three main levels, but seven in total). The first layer is for people who were good-natured and healed from most of their traumas. The second is for more unmoral people or just those with negative attachments who underwent only some healing while alive, and the third is for people who have very strong attachments due to suffering and didn’t get the chance to heal. The first layer will seek to teach lessons in lesser tormenting ways in order to get the spirits there to understand the things they did wrong and to not do them again, as well as to sever their remaining attachments. The third layer, however, is full of tortures that will force the people strongly attached to their suffering to realize the illusion of their ways and that they can go free if they fight for it. There trials are meant for Rebirth, not always punishment.

The longer it takes for the Ka to fully understand their wrong-doings and their sufferings, the longer they will have to remain in the Underworld. If the spirit is exceptionally evil, however, the Judges will call upon the goddess Ammit. Ammit will then open her enormous jaws and devour the corrupt spirit, sending them to the realm of Hell, where one of the three High Kings (Lucifer, Satan, Leviathan) will decide what is done with them. Once in Hell, the spirit is usually tormented for eternity. So basically, the Underworld is meant to bring about a Rebirth; Hell is meant to punish.

The Shadow Self

While alive, we all experience traumas and negative circumstances. All of the emotions that arose from these things began to develop into an entity called “The Shadow”, which represents the darker half of us. Each person’s Shadow is different, depending on their negative experiences and how they reacted to them. I will get into the different types of Shadows in an additional post, but for now, it is good to analyze your own behaviours that are toxic, since these arise from the Shadow Self. Giving into negative behaviours empowers the Shadow.

When we die, the death of our brain causes the Shadow Self to become more than just a psychological counterpart, and they are now more free. They take on a terrifying form and seek to tear us apart. We all end up facing our Shadows while in the Underworld, and if we are not prepared, they will attack us repeatedly and cause our stay there to be greatly prolonged. In order to prevent this, we need to do shadow work in this life so we can understand our negative traits through in-depth analyzations . Look at your greatest burdens, how you view yourself and others, your self-destructive habits, your negative feelings- all of these come from the Shadow. We must understand this part of ourselves in order to understand how to mend them and eventually, overpower our Shadow Self. We will have to do this in the Underworld, otherwise, one will need to be able to hold it off long enough until the Judgment is over, which is when the Shadow will be destroyed.

Elysium

After a Ka successfully makes it through the trials of the Underworld, they are brought to Elysium, which is a realm of Paradise where we rest and wait for our Ba to come retrieve us. Most spirits will remain together in Elysium for a year, but if the spirit achieved Awakening (realization of their higher self’s identity) while still alive, they will be able to leave sooner. When the higher self arrives, they will approach the Ka and absorb them into themself, and then will return home. Thus, the Ba and Ka are united and the lifetime is completed.

If the higher self is a human, the Ba will have to reincarnate after a decade of being back in the spirit world, starting the process again with another unborn spirit (Ka) until they achieve Illumination. A human higher self will no longer need to reincarnate once Illumination is achieved by one of their embodiments. Other higher selves, such as those that are Higher beings than humans (demonic, angelic, draconic, etc.), will not have to reincarnate all the time; instead choosing to do so in order to help the world progress through their human.

Conclusion

Overall, it is extremely important to realize that our task in life is to achieve Awakening, which is done through seeking the identity of our higher self (Ba), bonding with our higher self through meditation and communication, and to seek true knowledge on the spirit world. We also must make certain to overcome our Shadows by keeping our actions and thoughts in check; thus allowing us to become the best we can be. If we manage to overcome our attachments, negative thinking, and toxic behaviours, we will have less trials to suffer through. All of these things will allow for a smooth transition through Death and to become one with our Ba.

The Underworld (in-depth description)

#the afterlife #death #spirit realms #ka #ba #higher selves #spirituality #the underworld

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ayankun · 3 years

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Milo Manheim, Meg Donnelly - Gotta Find Where I Belong (From "ZOMBIES 2")

Still working on why this movie keeps bulldozing me

Let’s break down these character arcs shall we

Addison’s journey is 100% “gotta find where I belong.” Jumping neatly off from where the first movie ended, she’s confident that openly being her authentic self is critical, and is now both reaping the rewards as well as fielding the consequences of this decision. Her goal is unity, a wholesale embrace of diversity and tolerance, and her arc is about becoming the kind of leader who can bring these disparate groups together.

But because this unified society doesn’t already exist, she starts the movie as an outsider among outsiders, one of a kind. She’s a human, but she’s different from them in unexplained ways; she’s accepted by zombies but she will never be one; her comfort place, the cheer squad, has a ruling class that is actively maneuvering to eject her from it because of who she is.

The Wolves show up and her immediate instinct is to say, “welcome, outsiders!” because what she wants more than anything is to make a place where anybody (including herself) truly belongs, no questions asked. Her character conflict, then, is the misbelief that the only way to achieve acceptance is to change herself again and become a werewolf. They’re free of external pressures to fit in, and they’re proud of the people they are and the culture they have, and they want her in their group, and this resonates incredibly strongly with Addison. What she needs, though, is to understand that she already has a place to belong, she already is a leader of a pack, and she doesn’t have to give up all of that to continue her search for self.

Zed’s conflict is that, in his ongoing search for a place to belong, he’s mistaken assimilation for acceptance.�� His goals are to further the acquisition of civil rights for all zombies, to prevent the loss of a year’s worth of progress, yes, but specifically to do the “normal” thing of taking Addison to the Prawn, where “then they will say we’re all the same.”

The rules of the game have shifted, thanks to the Wolves’ arrival; Seabrook is a punch-first kind of place, and now he has the added burden of navigating his own internalized prejudices against “monsters” while he attempts to combat those of the humans’. This manifests as a violent rejection of all presentations of Other (himself and his zombie-ness included), as he goes around telling everyone (including himself) that the only way to win is to play by their rules.

The humans have these rules because they’re honestly afraid of monsters. Of monstrosity. Zed internalizes this fear, takes steps to eliminate the threat he sees himself as posing to others. His conflict to overcome is this misbelief that his authentic self is inherently dangerous. When Bucky incites this fear in the entire student body in order to win the election, he does so knowing that this fear is entirely unnecessary, that the “threat” Zed poses while he’s having his Zombie episode is entirely fictional. In Zed’s case, at least, it’s a lie perpetrated to maintain a status quo that benefits the ruling class.

The other thing that happens to Zed is that, in acting from this place of misguided insecurity, he DOES end up hurting people, specifically Addison. We can see him address this in the song, he knows he has overstepped, but he can’t figure out why, or how he could have, despite his best intentions. And it’s because he and Addison are on fundamentally different tracks in their journey of self-discovery: she’s embracing her Otherness at all costs while he’s desperately trying to refute his own. He can’t see past his own issues and therefore can’t understand hers. Anyway, what he needs is to understand that he’s capable of acting a monster (anybody is, humans, too) and should hold himself accountable for his actions, while also releasing this fear that his status of Other is as monstrous as society would have him believe. And, in accepting his whole self as-is, monster and all, he can even discover secret strengths that can be used to help rather than hurt.

I relate a lot (A LOT) to Zed’s arc in this movie. I appreciate and relate to Addison’s masking/unmasking/who am I storylines so much, too, but it’s Zed’s fearful rejection of self that gets under my skin more than anything else. What is the core character trait of mine that I’ve been told is harmful to others, though?? What am I terrified that I can’t control? What sort of things do I do to overcorrect a perceived character flaw and run the risk of hurting people anyway when I do?

It’s coming on too strong; it’s infodumping; it’s expressing unseemly passion for trivial things; it’s the natural inclination to talk endlessly about things I want to talk about while also being physically unable to listen to things that I don’t care about; it’s not knowing where my boundaries are when I dare pulling off the mask a little bit; it’s apologizing too much out of fear of becoming someone who doesn’t apologize enough. It’s a lifetime’s worth of internalized phobia of being that particular brand of Other I’ve always been, of being told explicitly or implicitly that my inherent Way of Being is obnoxious or annoying or inappropriate or generally unwanted. I’m afraid of being myself because, if I do, someone will tell me “Stop,” and they’ll have the moral high ground to have said it; I am, inherently, Wrong and Harmful.

(this is my internal conflict, my misbelief to be unlearned over the course of the narrative. also to be unlearned: the “truth” that it’s a character flaw and therefore my responsibility to correct; that it’s on me to make a best effort to assimilate, rather than to request societal acceptance for something I am and cannot change)

Like, it’s no secret that I consume and produce media as a means of processing the world and my place in it, but I feel so raw about this right now, yo. I already promised my therapist to talk about this today, and I honestly don’t even know if I can find the words to talk about this out loud.

yikes yikes yikes

anyway, thank you Disney Channel, thank you Tumblr, thank you YouTube, thank you real people who are supportive of Otherness in all its forms. what a journey we find ourselves on, together.

#just thinking out loud as always #zombies #Z-O-M-B-I-E-S #tagging bc my LAST essay on Zed's character arc found some sweet nerds today #coincidence?#so if it helps anyone to read this one too ... here it is!#this one's a lot more personal tho #<3 #take care of yourselves out there friends

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muthaz-rapapa · 4 years

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HealPre Ep 2: Partners, Faith & Ability

Hwoo, boy. This is another long one.

Ok, I know mascots are not the most exciting things to talk about when it comes to Precure because while a handful of them are not quite two-dimensional (depending on the context), they rarely fully reach the three-dimensional field either since they are majorly there to support the main charas and...well, to look and be cute for the merchandising. Hence, why they’re soon shoved to the backseat in favor of the story focusing more on our heroines.

But as we are still in the early period of establishing relationships here, I think it’s noteworthy to discuss the return of fairy partnerships (which hasn’t happened since DokiDoki, can you believe that?) and why it’s significant to the story of HealPre.

Starting with the first one-sided “fight” (if you can really call it that) between Rabirin and Nodoka.

Prior to learning that Nodoka’s actually not athletic, Rabirin was immensely ecstatic to have found a human who shared their sentiments on wanting to protect the Earth. But because she was too thrilled about it, she ended up blinding herself with thoughts that Nodoka is the ideal partner she always wanted. A person who’s agile, graceful and possesses a robust physique.

So when the after school activities proved otherwise, Rabirin gets upset and disbands the partnership right then and there.

Which makes Rabirin look incredibly shallow and selfish but in reality...

It’s because she likes Nodoka so much that she can’t bear to put such a kind girl like her in danger.

True, Rabirin is still basing everything off a mindset that says “I can only accept a partner who’s physically capable” so for one part, she is still thinking too superficially.

But for another, Rabirin also acknowledges that she is just a trainee, not a full-fledged doctor. She knows for a fact that she herself is not completely competent as she wants to be (yet) so if something bad happens, she might not be enough to protect Nodoka from the fall.

Nodoka has a handicap and Rabirin is inexperienced. These are not the best circumstances to go into battle with so to minimize the damage that can affect them (and the Earth), Rabirin decides to leave Nodoka.

It’s not that protecting the Earth takes priority over everything else.

It’s because protecting the Earth should not come at the expense of letting Nodoka get hurt in any way.

That’s the true reasoning behind Rabirin’s rejection.

Meanwhile, let’s go back to Nodoka.

Her noticeably calm reaction to Rabirin’s emotional outburst is also worth examining. Rather than becoming sad or disheartened at being dumped because she’s not “up to snuff”, she takes the time to reflect on what she’s able to do at the moment.

Nodoka’s not going to deny that she has trouble keeping up with those who are more athletically fit than she is. She knows that’s due to her having a weak constitution from illness but she’s not ashamed of it. It’s just a fact that she was sick, nothing more.

It doesn’t mean she can’t do the same things healthy people are capable of doing. It just means she has to find ways to do them without straining herself. And if given the time, she’ll eventually be able to catch up with them that way.

Nodoka already has the motivation (hell yea she does, that’s mah gurl!) so all she needs to do is to find the best point for her to start from.

What’s more, Nodoka is not afraid of getting hurt to do what she feels she needs to do.

When Rabirin was not there to help her transform, Nodoka tried all sorts of things she can think off to fend off the Megapathogerm. Teaming up with Nyatora, donning armor before confronting the monster and tricking it into a trap.

Honestly, it’s remarkable how she faced the situation without letting the panic get the better of her.

She’s very stable as person, a trait I believe is something we’d like to see in anyone, especially a partner.

And “failure” doesn’t discourage her either.

When she proves no match for the Megapathogerm in her civilian form, the first thing she does after getting knocked off her feet was to try and chase after it.

The thought of people getting hurt by the villains is what drives her to act. Even when she’s in no condition to continue fighting, she musters whatever strength she has left to help others anyway.

Nodoka is brave, resilient and extremely compassionate.

But it’s also important to know she isn’t fearless.

And what she is most afraid of is not being able to do anything at all.

She’s not just afraid for other people. She’s also terrified that if she doesn’t act now, she’s going to have to relive those lonely, difficult days she spent bedridden in the hospital.

A life where she couldn’t move as she wanted, couldn’t live as she wanted to. And perhaps those feelings of helplessness made her despair.

She doesn’t want anyone else to feel that way. She doesn’t want herself to feel that way again because of not being able to do anything as she is now. Now when she can finally walk on her own two feet and start doing so many things she couldn’t do before.

Nodoka had received so much hope to get here.

From her parents, her doctors, her nurses.

It was thanks to them for being by her side through the hardships that Nodoka was able to make it here today.

They taught her to have faith in herself, to believe that she does have it in her to beat her illness.

And she did.

Nodoka values the hope given to her so strongly that if she were to step back and give up now, it would be an insult to all the support she received from her loved ones.

When she was in pain, no one abandoned her. So how can she possibly stand by when she sees someone else in trouble?

Therefore, whether she can still be Rabirin’s partner or not, whether Rabirin will allow her to be Precure or not is not the main concern here.

Nodoka just wants to do something.

She doesn’t want to sit on the sidelines like she used to. She wants to join clubs, do activities and run to her heart’s content.

And if someone’s hurting, she wants to help them. That’s all.

Doing nothing is more painful for Nodoka than failing.

That’s why when Rabirin gave her the powers to transform into Cure Grace, Nodoka was so grateful to her.

Becoming Precure helped Nodoka from drowning in despair again. She was able to do something, she was able to help the Earth beat the maladies the villains inflicted on it.

Similar to Nodoka’s parents and doctors giving her hope to overcome her own illness.

And in earnest, she sincerely swears to Rabirin that she’ll do her best to protect Earth with these powers she’s given.

Nodoka cannot promise she’ll become the strongest Cure ever. She knows how dangerous fighting these monsters can be and she’s fully aware of the limits of her own body.

But she still wants to at least try.

Not for herself. Becoming Precure is not for herself, but for the sake of others.

So she asks Rabirin to believe in her. Like with her illness, Nodoka is not that naive to think she can go at it alone. She beat her illness because she had her people by her side, supporting her every step of the way.

And if Rabirin gives her another chance, then Nodoka knows from experience that they can overcome whatever comes their way. Not just Nodoka. Nodoka and Rabirin.

They can save the Earth if they fight together.

After a declaration like that, how can Rabirin even think of not wanting Nodoka as her partner?

More than finding a person who’s in tip-top shape, being able to find Nodoka, whose heart is just as strong if not even stronger than the average healthy person’s, is nothing short of a miracle.

What Rabirin was looking for was not the “perfect” partner but someone who resonated with her. That someone is Nodoka.

With that, she apologizes profusely for treating Nodoka so harshly before, judging her without knowing her story and not respecting Nodoka’s feelings like a doctor should.

Rabirin was right when she said it wasn’t she who helped Nodoka but the other way around. Meeting Nodoka helped Rabirin break free of the limits of her own thinking...

Which finally brings me to the topic of partnerships.

Y’know, it’s so easy to take the fairies for granted because though they play a pivotal role, they’re not the most important part of the story.

But the way the necessity of a partnership is portrayed here, as a very serious matter rather than the teasing banter comedy we usually see, tells something very profound that HealPre might be trying to convey.

It’s that no man is an island. No one can shoulder the world alone.

Just like how we can’t expect one individual to solve the climate crisis, you can’t assume that you’ll be okay bearing all the burdens on your own while fighting against your personal ailments, whatever they may be.

Everyone needs someone else to truly live healthily.

And not just any “someone” but a person you know you can truly trust to understand you and repay in kind as well.

That’s what makes a partnership.

Protecting the Earth is the biggest importance to Rabirin and Nodoka practically had to bare her entire soul to the rabbit to prove she’s up to the task. In turn, it wouldn’t be right to not answer those feelings which is why Rabirin tossed away what set her back to accept Nodoka as the one and only partner for her.

Rather than worrying about what someone’s not capable of, you should actually take a real look at what they are capable of doing. And in order to do that, you have to get to know each other, see what’s beyond the surface, reach the point where it’s become secure enough for you to be confident enough to say the faith you invested in each other is worth it.

Only then can something be born out of two people combining their efforts together.

Two.

二つ (“futatsu”)

Why does the post-transformation Cure phrase have this word in it? Because it’s not just Nodoka becoming Cure Grace to save the world. It’s Nodoka and Rabirin.

Rabirin who gives Nodoka the power to transform into Precure. Nodoka receiving that power to protect Earth alongside Rabirin.

Cure Grace is made up of the power of two, not one. Cure Grace is both Nodoka and Rabirin.

The power of two.

I’m not sure if this is how I wanted the post to turn out (I had to rewrite and re-edit it so many times because thinking on it drove my mind in circles @.@;;) or if I said everything I wanted to...

But if there’s one thing I’m certain of is that Rabirin will never doubt Nodoka again from this point on.

Even when Chiyu and Hinata, who have better stamina than Nodoka does, join the team, I’m certain Rabirin won’t compare her partner to them and instead say something along the lines of “Nodoka has the biggest heart out of anyone here! My partner’s the strongest of them all!” with immeasurable pride.

In short, Rabirin liked Nodoka before but she definitely loves Nodoka now.

(*＾v＾*)

#ohhhhhmygod my brain broke #i gave up my entire Sunday trying to word out my thoughts for this ep #when a season starts of REALLY good it means a hard life for me lolol xD;#hanadera nodoka #cure grace #rabirin #healin good precure

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megashadowdragon · 3 years

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on lukes moment of weakness and how it is fitting for luke among other comments

Personally I TOTALLY believe that George's Luke would have been VERY similarly to Rian's Luke.

And here is the reason why.... Luke has almost always been George's insert (lucas pronunced luke S ) and it makes total sense for Luke to be "exiled" and secluded away just as George became with Star Wars after the backlash of the prequels. But at the end of it, he comes back and stands up for what makes Star Wars what it is. Which is what Luke does for the Jedi and themes of Star Wars by the end of TLJ. He has learned from his mistakes, atoned for them, found redemption, confronted those he has failed, inspired hope, and learned to show compassion once again.

Now while George may have done it differently, I do believe that Luke being in exile was a metaphor for George's own relationship with Star Wars and its fandom.

www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/ebb4f3/lukes_momentaneous_thought_of_killing_ben_solo/

I know I'm stepping on dangerous territory here by talking about The Last Jedi, and I only do this because I think this is an interesting take on a key moment of the movie. Just bear in mind that I do not intend to make my point-of-view the absolute truth of it. After all, this is just my opinion.

We all know very well how divisive Episode VIII was, with many people pationately hating that movie. One of the main reasons of complaint is the fact Luke Skywalker had attempted to kill his apprentice and nephew, Ben Solo, because he sensed the Dark Side to be too strong in the latter. Luke Skywalker, the only person in the entire galaxy that saw there was still light in Darth Vader, tried to kill his relative. When even Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda had lost all hope Anakin could be saved, Luke helped putting him on the path of redemption, helping Vader turn back to the Light and fulfill the prophecy of the Chosen One. It seems to be an insult that this same character gave up on his nephew so easily and tried to kill him.

I believe things must be analyzed more carefully.

I've just finished marathoning the Skywalker Saga (by the way, I STRONGLY recommend the Ersnt Rister order: IV-V-I-II-III-VI) and noticed something very interesting while watching Return Of The Jedi.

During the final moments of Luke and Vader's duel aboard the Death Star II, we see the young Jedi Knight wants to avoid fighting his father so as not to fall in the trecharous web of Palpatine, who wants to turn the young Skywalker to the Dark Side. Luke is hiding beneath the Emperor's throne. Vader chases him and, through the Force, reads Luke's thoughts to lure him into confrontation:

You cannot hide forever, Luke. Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister! So, you have a twin sister!

In this moment, we see Luke's face and he's completely terrified by the idea Darth Vader found out about his sister. It is something new and Luke fears for Leia's well-being. Also, we hear from Vader's words that he cares a lot about his friends, the people he loves. Vader continues:

Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side, THEN PERHAPS SHE WILL!

Now we have something different. Since he was brought before the Emperor, Luke had been constatly confronted by Palpatine and Vader with the idea of him turning to the Dark Side. When Vader talks about the possibility of that happening to Leia, it's not a threat directed to him, but to someone he loves. In this moment, Luke loses it completly and attacks Vader viciously, totally enraged. The Sith Lord can't stand the power of his son, fuelled by hate and falls to the ground, defeated. In this moment Luke is prepared to make the final blow, but then he hears Palpatine laughing and clapping. This makes him go back to his senses and realize what he's been doing. He then turns off his lightsaber and refuses to kill his father.

"I'm a Jedi, like my father before me" and so on... we know what happens, so let's fast-forward to The Last Jedi.

When Luke is confronted by Rey, who demands him to tell what had happened between him and Kylo Ren, we learn how things unfolded through Luke's perspective:

I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined.

In this moment of the flashback we see Luke's hand reaching out to his lightsaber, almost unconsciously. He then proceeds:

. He would bring destruction and pain and death, AND THE END OF EVERYTHING I LOVE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE WILL BECOME, AND FOR THE BRIEFEST MOMENT OF PURE INSTINCT, I THOUGHT I COULD STOP IT.

Here it is again. Like in Episode VI, we see Luke reacting in a similar way by the notion of something posing a threat not to him, but to the people he loves and cares about. Luke feared Ben would destroy everything he cherished, just like Vader had threatened by turning Leia to the dark. And, just like in the OT, it was a passing shadow:

It passed like a fleeting shadow, and I was left with shame and with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose Master had failed him.

I've already written way more than I expected, so I'll just conclude here. I've realized the act Luke commits in the Sequels is the same (or at least VERY similar) as from the OT: he attempted to kill Vader then his nephew, out of fear of seeing what/who he loved destroyed. He repented and managed to stop himself in the act in both situations. And he was ashamed. So, at least regarding this point of the movie, I see the same Luke Skywalker.

(luke had more to lose now then he did before

another example which I saw dont remember where I saw it but I saved the comments unfortunately I didnt put in the links:

edit: (now I remember www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/9a3hdl/)

Luke considered killing Ben for about two seconds in a vulnerable moment

Sort of like he almost got baited into killing Vader by a few mocking words, and cut the hand off his own father in blind rage.

Luke is still just a person. If we've learned anything in Star Wars it's that the Jedi are not superhuman paragons of virtue and perfection, no matter how they might appear to the unwashed masses in the SW universe. They have the same flaws, temptations, failures, etc as anyone else. Yes the Force can help them overcome some of this, but they're far from perfect. Luke could have, and I agree should have grown in a positive way, but it's not impossible or even unbelievable that he didn't. He just had his life's labor wiped out in front of him and blamed himself for it. All those years of finding lost Jedi knowledge and artifacts, being what he believed to be the last Jedi in the universe with the responsibility to restart the order on his shoulders alone. All those lives that he took under his protection and guidance as the Master of the new order, wiped out in one night. Because of him (at least in his mind). Everything he was working towards for years just totally undone in a few hours and it was all his fault.

So he leaves and says fuck the whole lot of it. He lives by himself, stews in his misery and regret, retreats into himself and rejects the most foundational principle of the whole concept of being a Jedi: to help people. He's the most powerful Force user alive and he's wasting away by himself on some desolate rock, swearing off the rest of the galaxy because he thinks that he's a failure, that he wasn't strong or good enough, that he can't win, that it's not even worth it to try anymore, and that even at the height of his wisdom and power, it was all undone, and by himself no less.

another comment

Stuff has changed, I mean he’s quicker to come to his senses. I wouldn’t call that his flaw though. His flaw is one of his greatest traits, his care for his friends and family. It’s a flaw cause it causes implusive actions, lashing out on Vader, leaving Yoda, a single thought that he could stop a horrible fate in Ben.

I personal struggle with a temptation in my life, a temptation to do something my faith says is wrong to do. I may have overcome it some days, but other days, whether the same circumstances or not, I might fall into it. Temptations are a constant battle, not a one and done thing. Flaws are similar, you don’t just grow past a flaw after one instance.

Because a day may come when you will brought face-to-face with that temptation or flaw again, but the circumstances will be different, and it won’t be so easy to overcome.

You mentioned Toy Story in a post, and that’s a decent example when it comes to one facet. Woody might not get jealous when another flashy toy comes along that gets more attention like Buzz did.

A better example of the nagging of a temptation, like Luke dealt with, is in Lord of the Rings. The Ring is a constant temptation to the bearer and those around them. At least by the film, Frodo may have resisted the urge to use it under the tree, but he still was tempted to use it at other times, and it was a constant battle. Same with Bilbo. Bilbo held the ring for 60 years. And the temptation of it held him greatly. He drops the Ring in Bag End, letting it go. If he was viewed similarly to how people viewed Luke tossing the saber, that’d mean he freed himself from it’s grasp and from the temptation to take and use it. We see in Rivendell that isn’t the case for him. He has a moment of wanting to take it back, and even at the end of his time in Middle Earth, he inquires about it, although more innocently curious.

That would be more similar to Luke’s case. To fall to the dark is a constant temptation that Jedi should always be aware of, and if you get close at one point, there’s the possibility that it’ll happen again, and if you aren’t prepared or it comes in a different form, you’ll either fall or get really close.

That turned out longer than I meant it, but I see this idea and..it’s just not the case.

another comment

Just because you get older doesn't mean you necessarily get wiser and better.

Jedi are still people (and some aliens, but you get the meaning), and the prequels (and even the OT) showed that even the oldest and wisest among the Jedi were capable of mistakes and misjudgments.

I think it's unreasonable to assume Luke should have become incapable of making, or even repeating mistakes and succumbing to emotion.

Right because people only get better as they get older and we grow past our flaws and doubts permanently right?

You guys are weird.

Luke overcame that moment of doubt before he almost struck Vader down and you think what ....... Luke got some kind of videogame like powerup where that character flaw would never come back again?

Some of you have a very black and white (boring) opinion on life and human growth.

Spoiler: People have flaws, we don't all overcome those flaws.Your boy Luke is no exception.

Consider what nearly proved to be his downfall in Return of the Jedi: for all the Emperor's taunting about the Rebel Alliance's imminent demise, it was Darth Vader who finally pushed his Berserk Button by discovering that Leia was his twin sister and suggesting that if Luke didn't change sides, he and his master might have better luck turning her. Then, when Luke went berserk, it totally worked: he curb-stomped Darth Vader and still didn't go evil in the end. His father's killing off the Emperor also put an end to a whole lot of the Empire's evil and birthed the New Republic.

Flash forward thirty years, and once again someone is threatening everyone and everything Luke loves, and killing the guy would surely preempt a whole lot of trouble. In his heart of hearts, he doubtless remembers what Yoda taught him about how easy and seductive the Dark Side is, but he also remembers how Yoda's mistake of hiding the truth about his lineage from him nearly brought his downfall. He also remembers how killing the Emperor solved so many problems the way he'd better not try to solve them this time... Well, what's so tempting about that?

Luke had more to lose at this time. He knew what a relatively free, peaceful Galaxy looked like, and had other students to care for besides Ben. Instinctively, he was acting out of concern for them. Luke makes an important point when he gives Rey the truth: it is a split second. Luke is a hero, but he's human. He was impulsive and acted on instinct in his youth, so the fear of Ben turning is enough to push him to the edge for a second.

hopeforben . tumblr . com/post/623000635980333056/theres-a-significant-portion-of-the-fandom-that/embed

@emeraldspiral

@daughter-of-water

@someoneintheshadow456

#star wars #star wars the last jedi #luke skywalker #star wars meta

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infinitelytheheartexpands · 4 years

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Continuation of a post which you can find here.

the TL;DR for the previous post: Valentine de Saint-Bris, the heroine/(I would argue but that’s for another time) protagonist of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s 1836 opera Les Huguenots has at least one, if not multiple, undiagnosed anxiety disorder(s). This point is not talked about...at all, but it makes sense due to clues scattered throughout the libretto.

Here’s Part II, aka ‘Why is this important for understanding her character development?’ (I think this’ll be shorter than the previous post but don’t count me on that.)

Let’s go back to where she starts. As established in Part I, Valentine starts off as a very nervous, anxious young girl who constantly worries about everything, especially what her father will think of her. True, she does have some boldness; she goes alone to her fiancé’s house to ask to be released from her engagement to him, but it’s worth pointing out that she only does this because (or at least under cover) of ‘the Princess of France specifically wants me to break up with you for this political marriage’ thing. In other words, she’s not willing to do it for herself.

While I covered a lot of different anxious tendencies Valentine has in Part I, one of the dead ringers is that she’s so concerned with what everyone thinks about her; whether she is ‘worthy’ to her father, her lover, her fiancé/(eventual) husband, the society around her, and God. The moment where she begins to break free is that Act III duet with Marcel where she overcomes her fears and decides to do something she feels so strongly about: she will break with her family and the codes adopted by her denomination in order to save someone she cares about- even though he rejected her as well. She’s still concerned about the possibility of betraying her father and her honor, but she takes that first step anyway.

Act IV also is a major step for her, as she stands in complete contrast to (almost) all her co-religionists, expressing her outrage at the planned massacre and her gratitude when Nevers steps up and bravely refuses to join in, as she openly offers him all her support, risking her father’s anger. And then there’s the duet. While this duet still shows she has a long way to go- she’s frightened by premonitions of impending doom and she still is extremely anxious- she stands her ground for almost twenty minutes, not letting Raoul go until he shows her firsthand the horrifying scenes of the massacre, at which point she stops asking him to stay. She realizes that he must go and help the Huguenots survive, and so, in a way (by fainting) she lets him. And here’s the thing: while she’s still terrified of what may happen, she decides to channel that fear into action. In a scene not depicted onstage but referenced in the libretto, Valentine goes to Queen Mother Catherine de Médicis herself, demands an interview, and manages to secure means of safe passage for Raoul and Marcel.

And so we come to the final scene. Valentine arrives at the Huguenot church, her world turned upside-down: her husband is dead, her true love will almost certainly die at the hands of her father, her faith and country are torn apart in horrific scenes of violence (you know that had Valentine survived, she would probably have had PTSD from this). In the midst of all this, she tries to find a way to save two of the people she loves most (especially the one she loves more than anyone or anything). And when they won’t take it, she converts to Protestantism.

Let me explain something: converting to Protestantism at this moment is probably the worst possible thing you could do. It’s signing your own death warrant, so not only has Valentine ensured her own death, but by definition, according to the doctrines of the Catholic Church, she has condemned herself to hell by committing the mortal sin of apostasy.

But here’s the thing: she no longer really cares (emphasis added):

VALENTINE

Non, non, non!

Je ne sais pas s'il faut risquer mon âme;

enfer ou paradis, je ne te quitte plus!

Oui, cette âme en tumulte, cette âme

ne reconnaît plus rien! Toi, tu maudis mon culte,

moi j'adopte le tien!

(No, no, no!

I do not know if I must risk my soul;

Hell or Heaven, I’m not leaving you anymore!

Yes, this soul in turmoil, this soul

recognizes nothing anymore! You, you curse my faith;

me...I adopt yours!

She no longer cares about anything that once held her back. Now she believes in love, she believes in the people she loves, and she believes in a God of love who crosses the dividing line that society has set. To her, this is enough.

She is no longer afraid of death, or anything else anyone can do to her, for that matter:

VALENTINE

Non, non, je ne crains rien de vous!

Rien de mortel ne reste en nous,

non, non, je ne crains rien!

Gloire à Dieu! Gloire à Dieu!

(No, no, I fear nothing from you!

Nothing mortal remains in us;

No, no, I fear nothing!

Glory to God! Glory to God!)

When she begs Raoul to not say anything under interrogation by Saint-Bris, I believe it is not because she’s afraid for herself, or even for him or Marcel; I believe it’s because she knows that for a parent to kill their own child is one of the worst sins a person can commit, and she doesn’t want her father to face the emotional trauma in this life or potential eternal damnation in the next because she loves him too much. (Also, added bonus: there’s a chance that neither Raoul nor Marcel dies in this scenario.)

But when Raoul cries, “Huguenot!”, Valentine immediately adds her voice in agreement: she has no fear anymore.

So she ends up shot and mortally wounded, her life hanging by a thread, and in her last moments, she faces the reality of her situation and does not shrink from it:

VALENTINE

Oui, c’est moi! Moi qui vais prier pour vous!

(Yes, it’s me! It’s I, who go to pray for you!)

She is completely devoid of any hatred, anger, or fear. Instead, her last words show that she has finally achieved what she wanted and fought for all along- the ability to love unconditionally without anything holding her back.

She has broken free.

#this is a HUGE reason why I relate to her on an very deep level (and also one of the reasons I love this opera so much)#les huguenots #valentine de saint-bris #character analysis #opera tag #opera #meyerbeer #giacomo meyerbeer #okay I lied I don’t think this was shorter than Part I #breaking free #I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND SHE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER #anxiety #character development #loving unconditionally #frankly this girl right here is an icon and a role model and...we STAN

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lorewytch · 5 years

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The Magic of Tears

This will get slapped with a big huge SPOILER ALERT! To all who haven’t watched Nightmare on Killmotor Hill in the DT fandom. I think this is my new favorite of the new episodes that have come out so far. Now this may change later and I’ll explain why in just a bit. Can I first just say how much I love these kids? XD Lena especially was so awesome. She is trying so hard to fit in with Webby and the gang here. The first part with the cake and song was just adorable. It totally reminds me of something I’d do too. The fact that Webby was brought to tears and clapped to made me go “AWWWWWW” Now I had been wanting to see a ep where all the kids went on a adventure together and was so happy we got one! I was really invested in seeing the dynamics between the group as they play off each others strengths and weaknesses. I defiantly got to see that! Most of my favorite lines came from Huey and Dewey this time around from Huey commenting in Dewey’s dream. “I have some theories.” (This made me and my mom both burst out laughing for a few minutes) to Dewey’s whole thing with the high school and over exaggerating Huey’s choice to have two telephone polls as legs. “HUEY WHY!” Pfffttttt. I’ve seen dream sequences done before in the past in animation and frankly most of them seem to focus on the same stuff. But Ducktales really got into it. I liked a lot what they did with the dream world. Some of my favorite parts were when Lena ventured into her nightmares and Magica was waiting in a sort of ominous and deadly monster kind of way. I’m pretty sure I got slight chills at the Dewey mascot as it fizzled in and out, getting closer to Lena in the hallway. My other favorite part was when Lena touched the bookshelf and it literally changed from History to HORROR. The way it switched was so cool and I could easily see that happening in dreams like that. The Ducktales crew has always been amazing when it comes to showing a real look into dreams. Prime example was the dream Glomgold had earlier in season 2. There were parts of it that were funny, parts that were unsettling....and I got the same vibe here.

The kids were having a blast, but Lena was always side stepping Magica, in a sense running from this problem that had been affecting her so strongly. She feels her link to Magica deeply and that fear of turning against her friends, turning against Webby was serious. When she and Magica were talking, she vehemently denied being like her. Magica though had a hook in her though. That doubt was something Magica could use to get what she wanted. It was a true test for poor Lena, who had already been through so much. Lena is strong because she has to be. She didn’t have the luxury to do normal things kids did. Which is a big reason why she and Webby connect so well! Both Webby and Lena had unique upbringings different than how the triplets were brought up. Webby was kept locked away in a mansion with no contact with the outside world. Lena was forced to be Magica’s stooge and traveled around the world to find ways to get the dime from Scrooge. Sure Lena had more time in the outside world. But she never had friends before. Much like Webby didn’t have friends before meeting the triplets. Webby gets that Lena is struggling and tries to assure her it will be okay. I also especially loved the scene right before they fall asleep. Webby tells Lena she used to be afraid of the dark until she put up the stars on her ceiling. It shows that Webby has normal fears. A lot of times everyone really thinks Webby is some of superhero of sorts. Girls got skills, brains, kindness and charm. But she’s really just a kid who is growing up like the others. She has insecurities like the others. She just hides them better. It was interesting to see both Huey and Dewey’s insecurities so open in their dream worlds too. Deweys thing with him crying on that crescent moon was both heartbreaking and kind of amusing in just the nonchalant way they handled that whole scene. Poor boy though. He really should talk to someone about that ;_; Huey and his whole thing with being taller was part amusing and part terrifying. If I had more brain cells tonight I could delve deeper into his insecurities but right now all I can handle is Webby and Lena. There were a lot of things I loved about this episode. But the ending where they were trying to save Lena from Magica was so cool! Not only did we have a moment with Lena and Webby....Webby letting Lena know that Lena was “good enough” and she only had to be herself and that she wasn’t Magica no matter what that stupid shadow lady said. Then Magica trying to drag Lena into the mirror. The music on that scene was so on point too! I was completely enthralled by the music in that moment. It got so tense at a time and watching Lena’s hand slipping from Webby’s made my breath hitch. But those tears. Webby saw her grasp on Lena slipping, she was getting desperate and seeing Webby cry openly like that. Afraid she was going to lose her friend. It really does show how close they are. The magic that saved the day came from Webby’s friendship bracelet, which seemed to be a common theme. That bracelet has protected Webby against Magica, brought Lena back and now saved Lena again. I just wonder how long the magic will last? I’m thinking Webby’s bracelet is a totem of sorts or a object that holds a certain amount of magical power she got from Lena during the money shark incident. Also the fact the boys and Violet also glowed meant that the power also flowed through them too. They were channeling all their power to pull Lena out. But it wasn’t enough. Magica was too strong. Until Webby’s tears caused a domino affect of sorts. Because Lena is linked to Magica, when she began to glow from the magic....it made sense that it hit Magica like a slap in the face. LOL. It was enough to wake them all up anyways. Either way I think I totally over-analyzed the heck out of this pfftttt.. I love the over all messages with the Ducktales episodes. That’s what really my favorite part is. It isn’t afraid to touch some subjects that most cartoons would shy away from. I love cartoons like these, I wish I had more of them honestly when I was a kid. I struggled with a lot of these problems. As I’m sure we all have. The reason I associate strongly with Webby is because.. like her I was very awkward making friends. That whole scene with her and Lena meeting? Yeah I’m Webby. I’m so Webby... But more than often my insecurity caused me to clam up and I stayed silent through High school and a part of College. I was lonely like her and couldn’t figure out how to talk to people normally. These things I feel like are important for kids to learn because they won’t feel so alone and lost. And Ducktales always delivers on handling these life lessons in the best way possible. Lena confronting Magica at the end, saying that she didn’t need Magica anymore. That’s overcoming trauma. Now Rome wasn’t built in a day and I’m sure Lena has some more issues to work out, but now that she has Webby and the others I believe she will become everything Magica isn’t. Now.... I’m gonna watch the next episode and learn Webby’s secret!!!!

#Spoiler ALERT #Ducktales #Nightmare on Killmotor Hill

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peachymess · 5 years

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Hhnng I had forgotten how sucky it is not being able to fall asleep. I’ve struggled so much with sleep throughout my life but I was having a really good period of just... being able to fall asleep when I try. So much so I forgot what it feels like. Just how I always forget just how painful loneliness is, until it comes back.

... for the last, what, three weeks? I have started having trouble falling asleep again. I know it’s because of stress but knowing the reason doesn’t make it any less hard to overcome. I’m really starting to worry. Two days ago, I crashed mentally due to finally having pushed too far. I’m also not eating well due to... well several things.

It’s all just culminating.

This is another late night rant, btw. I just need to get it out, it helps, no need to worry or try to help. The only thing I can do is continue to ride them out - these waves of good and bad mental states - and tackle them with the tools I’ve acquired over the years.

It’s quite humbling. Having those rare, big periods of good where I finally start to hope and believe that “... I’m finally healthy! I’m finally mentally healthy! I conquered my mental illness’” and then... again... there’s another crash and I’m reminded that no,... it’ll most likely always be a roller coaster. How could I be so gullible again.

And it’s scary. Really scary. Much more so than before... I made the final decision not to consider suicide an option anymore, on December 7th of 2017. Ever since then, being able to escape a little by daydreaming about the fact that I could end it all, all the pain, the worry, the shame... that escape went away. I don’t know if I can truly explain it to someone who’s never been suicidal, but I’m sure those that have been or still are, understand... the relief that the presence of that option is. Having that out. To us, the thought of suicide is a sweet thing, not a pain. If you truly hit rock bottom and you can’t take it anymore; there’s always that out, plan Z. Knowing you’re stuck with this life, regardless of how it plays out, regardless of how much pain you’ll be in, is terrifying and painful. I remember watching this documentary about a young woman who wanted to be granted assisted suicide due to her depression. It was a long battle to get accepted... but once she was granted this terminal treatment... she chose to keep trying to live. I feel like I understand why: life was so painful for her, she wanted the pain to stop. She didn’t necessarily want to die, she just wanted to not live. There is a major difference between the two that needs to be understood... Anyways, as soon as this young woman was granted the option to pull the plug for good, if she finally reached a point of not being able to handle another second,... she decided to keep trying. Knowing that she had the ability to opt out, that she was the driver of her life, she made the call on how much she was gonna take, it felt less oppressive, less forced. As soon as she had a safety break, “just one more step” became a less daunting task...

In case someone suicidal is reading this, I just want to make sure you also understand this: you cannot give in to the “sweet” thought of death. It isn’t the out you think it is. I heard once that every suicide jumper who survived jumping off a bridge, regretted it as soon as they got in the air... I don’t know if that’s 100% true, but I appreciate the notion. Just because there is some relief in daydreaming about giving up, that doesn’t mean the actual deed is as sweet. Again, there is a massive gap between wanting to stop living, and wanting to die. Also, plus: you’ll only transfer that hurt onto your loved ones, if you opt out of yours. It’ll multiply. Become even uglier. Please don’t. Coming from someone who also “wants to die” (though in this context it’s actually just not wanting to live): please don’t kill yourself.

... because I do. Want to stop living, I mean. These past few days... I’ve wanted to give up so bad. It’s been a bitter pill to swallow that even though I made that final choice of living, and having Armin’s name tattood on my body for strength,... not even him, not even my own promise to myself, could undo the wish. The pain. The illness is still there. Not the wish, but the hurt that gives me reason to want to die.

I didn’t mean for this to become a long post about suidice. I’ve struggled with wanting to just get this out there and not wanting to say it outright. I’ve made so many posts like these throughout my tumblr stay, and I don’t want to worry my friends and mutuals... but writing to the void has always served a tiny bit of help. And I guess there is no way around it anymore. I can’t be cryptic anymore. All this talk about feeling trapped in the wrong timeline, feeling stressed and exhausted or whatever... what I really need to say is that I want to die very strongly these days and it’s really scary, because I don’t want to want to die. Sometimes, when things start to hurt really badly, I’m scared that some form of second consciousness will take over my body and do something against my own will. I’m afraid my choice will be taken from me. I always said that I would be terrified of being handed a gun, because If I were, I can’t trust that I wouldn’t just... put it in my mouth and pull the trigger before I could stop myself. I’m afraid of that entity in me that’d say “let me make this easy for you. Let me save you before you have the misguided courage to resist”. I’m afraid I’ll jump from my balcony. I thought I would, but then I realized it’s not far enough, I’d just break my legs and lie in the cold grass until my neighbors found me in pain the next morning.

I’m sorry, I don’t know where I’m going with this... it’s 5am and I’m awake, again. I need proper sleep. I know it sounds awfully stupid and weak, but I rely on proper sleep to keep suicidal thoughts at bay. No matter how good I am doing, when I get tired enough, I lose my mental strength and all the pain and exhaustion is able to breach the barrier all of a sudden. It sounds so over dramatic to say, but I get suicidal when I get tired. I just don’t have the strength to maintain that protective wall that I put up every day in order to keep going.

So I guess.. idk.. I’m struggling to sleep properly and it’s making my mental health nosedive (though the lack of sleep is just a symptom of the bigger issues I’m currently dealing with). It’s just another rodeo though... even if it doesn’t get easier or less painful, at least I get better at handling it and understanding and reading its patterns... but damn it, what I really need is just to be able to sleep, then I’d be more equipped to handle what’s going on. I’m so so so tired, and I still can’t sleep...

#personal #tw suicide

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airlock · 5 years

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airlock grades the Punchable archetype

so far, a majority of the Fire Emblem villains I’ve covered in this series are the sort who are meant to be liked, forgiven, sympathized with... these here are not those ones. these are the ones whose singular purpose in the narrative is to piss you the hell off. so, which of them played that role to excellence?

(do note: under cut are spoilers for… everything, and also a significant amount of me criticizing or blamming characters that you might- okay, yeah, no, you probably don’t like anybody on this list, but you may still strongly disagree with my opinions of them. you’ve been warned! ha, no way these fools would set about reading the whole post now... what!? impossible!)

a foreword

so, to be very specific, I’m not rating every flatly irritating miniboss here; the definitive aspect here is that the character has to be a recurring one, whose extended screentime never quite ends up giving them a chance to be something other than vile. but more important than the hair-splitting here is giving some consideration to how exactly I’ll be doing the rating; after all, I’m not supposed to like any of these people, but there’s still better and worse ways to be despicable as a character.

I’m running pretty much on two central critteria: is this character entertaining, and is that character satisfying to take down. it’s more important to hit one than to hit both; a character who hits neither is significantly more likely to be a pure waste of bile, however.

without further ado, let’s start gritting those teeth!

fuck this guy

(9/10)

directly enabling the single most badass scene in all of Book II obviously lands you on the upper echelons of this here character type. but that’s just the effect; we should peer into the cause of what makes him work so well!

of the critteria I mentioned, Lang goes for the latter: he’s not only quite satisfying to defeat, it’s also great anytime someone finally talks back to him and puts him in his place. that’s because he’s not the sort of character for whom this sort of thing is a given. a lot of the ones we’ll see ahead of him are incompetent toadies on top of being amoral, but not this guy; he knows exactly what he’s doing, relying on the backing of the most powerful nation in the continent to plunder, raze, and oppress to his heart’s content. the business of doing something about this dipshit gets severely delayed by the dire consequences of crossing him -- until Marth finally decides that enough is enough.

and THEN Jagen tells him to meet him 9 PM at the Grustian denny’s parking lot for an old man brawl-

fuck this chin

(3/10)

I struggle to understand ol’ Kaga’s obssession with jealousy as a villainous character motivation, I really do. it’s one entirely realistic thing to envy someone for having riches, fame, status, influence, the attention of one’s crush, or other such things that are more or less objective and palpable. it’s also entirely a thing to have an inferiority complex and fear or spite people one perceives as being more talented, better looking, stronger, smarter than oneself. but the way these characters are written tends to come across like they’re furious because they’re underwritten gonk and not everyone else is.

... which hey, would be a pretty upsetting thing if it happened to a real person, but I don’t think meta-commentary is the point here, is it? I sincerely hope it isn’t...

fuck this lady

(7/10)

the second leg of Genealogy of the Holy War finds you facing the same sorts of enemies most of the time: half of them are Satanists, and the other half are unfortunate innocents trapped in the crossfire of courtly intrigue. it’s exactly because of this that the arc desperately needs a villain like Hilda.

Hilda is just someone who doesn’t particularly mind if the most effective path up the social ladder involves destroying her relatives, daughter included, or capturing children and forcing them into murder tournaments. how is the imperial machinery of tragedy and death supposed to run without someone like her cranking a couple of the levers? er, I mean, you don’t really crank levers unless you’re doing something weird, but... okay, moving on

amidst all of the battles you might struggle to feel were worth fighting, Hilda here serves as a reminder, as a face of every reason why the Empire is the enemy and must be defeated.

and yes, making Tinny kill her rocks

fuck this guy IN AMERICA

(2.5/10)

not too long ago I would have dropped him a straight zero, but I’ve recently been reading through the Project Exile text dumps for a new Thracia 776 fanslation and what can I say, they put good work into making him tick properly and I essentially have no choice but to keep that sort of thing in consideration when making the ratings, being that all of the other villains are also characters I only have indirect contact with through a translation that may have improved or worsened things.

but the good work is no miracle -- although given much-needed entertainment value, this guy is still who he is: practically a standard-fare asshole miniboss who ends up getting three whole chapters to chirp into. and to make matters worse, you only actually get the payoff to him in one of two possible routes!

I am strong, I am clever, I am handsome, and most importantly, fuck me

(4/10)

I can’t possibly deny that his antics are some of the most hilarious on this list; the ridiculous speeches, the facial expressions from the manga, the fact that he gets demoted on screen... and I mean, they got Kaiji Tang to put voice to his high drama on Heroes, on top of it all!

alas, it just really spoils the fun to a significant extent that his very introduction in Binding Blade sees him macking on a captive prepubescent girl. however entertaining it may be that she snatches his wig on that occasion anyway.

fuck this morph

(5/10)

yeah, some people wish. notably including Brendan Reed-

the thing with Sonia is that she’s a little less believable than most folks in this archetype -- specifically because she’s not, like, working within the structures of power that would let her get away with being as much of a dip as she wants to; she’s earned her influential position by seducing the boss, which is hard to buy when, however attractive she may be, she never has a single positive interaction with anyone and nobody trusts her (barring Ursula on both counts, but she’s not the one who needs to be brought on board anyway). I realize what a phenomenon it is to think with one’s dick, but come on; surely, you don’t let your new friend with benefits tell you how to do your job just because she’s that good in bed or something.

that said, although her overall spot on the plot feels weakly implemented, she still makes for a tremendous bulwark to overcome specifically within Nino’s subplot. what a powerful confrontation against a lifelong abuser she provides in the end!

do not fuck this guy what is wrong with you

(3/10)

Valter is just uncomfortable as a character, which is limbo as far as emotion-inducing goes; it’s not particularly entertaining, and nor is it artfully terrifying in the way that Orson is. furthermore, I normally praise Sacred Stones’s antagonists for averting the way of behaving like a plot device, but this guy is the exception; he seems to primarily show up to cause trouble because trouble needs to be caused.

I feel like he’d have made for a far stronger character concept if his backstory had been handled differently, being more specific in what part of his mind broke when he held the cursed lance, instead of just being “now he does bad things and talks like he’s vaguely horny throughout”.

at least he’s quite a bit entertaining in Heroes where he gets voiced lines and no particular characters or plots to interact with -- but if that’s what it takes to make the character shine, it doesn’t really say good things about him.

fuck beauty

(5.5/10)

so, the truth come out: does this guy is deserve becoming the absolute teacher’s pet he’s been since Radiant Dawn? my verdict on the matter is: not really.

I mean, Path of Radiance actually writes him into a solid niche; for all the big words he emits about being a patron of beauty, he’s ultimately just the same kind of petty, ostentatious garbage that poisons the governance of Begnion, and finally taking him down for good and all makes for an excellent dive after all the work it takes to set the light of justice on him -- not just in Day Breaks (oh gooooooooddd) but over the course of the several chapters it takes.

it’s all downhill from there, though. his appareance in Radiant Dawn is not only unecessary, but also a deviation from the established writing to focus on pallid, ineffective jokes, like someone invented Heroes writing before the thing itself happened. he fights on your side because now he genuinely cares about beauty and art to the point he’ll fight a goddess over it? yeah, that’s not who he was.

and seriously, one strongly gets the impression that, in that appearance onwards, the punchline is just supposed to be that he’s fat, bald, wordy, and has a shitty mustache -- which, besides being blatant fatphobia, is seriously stale; “it’s funny because he’s ugly” is, like, at least two random minibosses per game, usually more.

fuck the senate

(2/10)

although he jabs a lot of the buttons that should make for an entertaining and stalwart hate sink, it ends up not really working.

his narcisism lacks the performatic grandeur of the likes of Narcian; it lands as pastiche at best, and common annoying smugness at worst. and although he’s powerful and influential enough to cause a bunch of problems, he’s introduced at a weird time that fails to make his specfic capabilties relevant to opposing the protagonists, and he ends up not doing a lot more than severely inconveniencing Zelgius (who is on his team) a couple times.

at least, the battle dialogue against him in Part 4 still provides some of the most fierce drags in Radiant Dawn

fuck the valm arc

(0/10)

seriously, fuck it

but ahem, onto the guy in question: he’s an annoying waste of writing space that doesn’t seem to be intended for any reason other than making the rest of Team Bad Guy look good, plain and simple.

you might be thinking, airlock, this is the third Awakening villain you blammed in four posts, are you just biased? the answer is: yes, but even if I were being perfectly fair, let’s be real, antagonists are just not one of that game’s strengths, overall. that just happens sometimes; I can really say the same thing of like Thracia 776, y’know?

fuck playing f- yeah, okay, that’s just low-hanging fruit

(??/10)

honestly, from this distance, none of Fates’s fixed antagonists bar Anankos really give me the impression of not just being despicable pastiche, but I’m guessing he’s supposed to be the one who actually intended to take it as a niche?

so, I’m just going to assume you hated this, but how was it? are you glad it’s over, or do you regret having read it at all? we’re probably not going to be spared from one of these characters on Three Houses, but specifically how much would you like to hate the one that comes along? to be honest, your thoughts aren’t remotely as good as mine, so I wouldn’t bother replying or reblogging to share them, worm. what? you’ll do it anyway!? how dare you! do you know what I’m capable of!?

#airlock grades the villain archetypes #fire emblem is tagged in this post

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otdderamin · 5 years

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Analysis: Fjord's reaction to Wursh – CR C2 Ep058 0:29:14

Doing something a bit different. Instead of a full transcript this will be a body language read of Fjord after the analysis. I highly recommend rewatching the scene and just watching Fjord. He takes an epic face journey throughout that gives off a lot of his emotions while trying (badly) to mask them. All of Wursh's conversation with him outside and his friends talking to him afterwards is transcribed. This is a long analysis as well, but I finally feel like I really get Fjord.

The dynamics of how Fjord interacted with Wursh in Ep 58 stem from his childhood insecurities. Fjord tells The Mighty Nein afterward that he was an orphan raised in Driftwood Asylum, and mostly by other kids. (Ep 58 0:46:44) He was the only half-orc (Ep 58 0:48:11), probably the only orc at all. We know from Ep 11 he was judged a lot on his appearance. He grew faster than the other kids, but he was Stumpy, short. Big teeth. […] Just sort of mis-proportioned." (Ep 11 3:05:23) Nott calls him "pretty handsome, you know, for, like, a half-monster thing." (Ep 11 3:04:51) Fjords trying to stay reserved, but you can tell that stung, and he gets more uncomfortable the more she belabors her view of him as a monster.

Growing up the only half-orc in an institution, it's very likely that Fjord was treated as a monster and a threat by everyone growing up and that played into him being picked on (0:48:11). He viewed himself as, "A kid, just like anyone else," (Ep 11 3:05:14) but I doubt he was viewed that way. His orcish side was viewed as a brutish disposition to be overcome, but he was never allowed to be human, either. Other kids were afraid of him just for existing. The adults probably treated him like he was the aggressor in way more fights than he was, quick to assume his violence. Any kid that wanted to establish dominance in the pecking order would go after him to prove they were stronger than the monster. His height also made him more intimidating. We can see with Wursh he has a very child-like threat assessment around height. But Fjord wasn't strong, and he couldn't take too many punches, so mostly he just got the shit beaten out of him all the time and blamed for it by adults.

So, Fjord learned to view every interaction with people as a threat he needed to be prepared for. He wasn't good in a fight, and he didn't have anywhere to run as a kid, so he tries to flatter or intimidate to protect himself. He's an asshole because being a half-orc is seen as intimidating. He learned kids who are afraid of him are more likely to leave him alone. This is the easiest and most passive technique he has, so he relies on it. But if he knows he can't intimidate, he'll turn to being very charming. Make himself useful enough to keep around. This is why we see such duality in his interactions.

Vandran's crew is probably the first time he ever felt treated like an equal, like he belonged. That meant to world to him and he let down some of those barriers. Then everything went wrong. His sense of peace was blown apart that night. Angry, heartbroken, drowning, and desperate, Uk'otoa found him. Offered him salvation and power enough to stop people from threatening him. It seemed like just a dream, even when he washed up on the beach with the sword. He couldn't fight it, so he ingratiated himself.

He's aware that he's under this thing's power and threat. He doesn't want to do what it wants, but he's terrified of disobeying, of being outright crushed. But he's also afraid of being abandoned by that power. For once in his life he feels powerful and not just scared. That power has gained him strong allies who have his back. He's afraid the Mighty Nein will abandon him as useless without that power. He fits with this merry band of assholes. He's starting to trust them, even, terrifyingly, love them. They're all keeping the world at bay by being assholes (except Caduceus) and he feels like he fits. So, he's trapped. Ignoring it for a while was the best resistance he could muster.

Fjord was raised by human-folk. (Ep 58 0:41:46), it's the only culture he knows, but he was never allowed to be one of them. He was always treated as an orc. But he's painfully aware that he knows nothing about orcs, either. His interaction with Wursh came out of those deep-seated insecurities. All he knows about orcs is what humans told him. He knows it's bigoted and inaccurate, he's trying to learn the truth and keep an open mind, but it's also ingrained in his threat assessment. He thinks orcish culture values strength and dominance, so he went into the conversation with Wursh expecting he had to prove himself. He desperately wants to be respected and accepted by other orcs.

He wanted Wursh to see him as strong, but he also wanted to learn what it was like to be an orc from him. What's their culture like? It's a big missing piece of his sense of self. Wursh picked up on his desperation and bullshit right away. When Fjord said he was from the Menagerie Coast, Wursh realized exactly what was going on with Fjord, and Fjord realized he gave himself away. (Ep 58 0:35:39) But he had no backup plan, so he just dug in his heels and tried to play it cool. It didn't work. He didn't find Fjord threatening at all, more like a growling puppy.

When it started going south, Wursh tried to encourage him, but instead it felt like condescending pity. It made him feel weak. Caduceus also tried to bolster him, but again, he only made him feel pitied and weak because his friends didn't understand what was going on. Nott saw him struggling to hold up the mask and wanted to show him he didn't need it by teasing him and poking holes in it. But to Fjord, especially as a very bullied kid, that just made him feel even weaker, more insecure, and hurt. The teasing never feels like it could come from anyplace other than wanting to see him hurt, even if he's intellectually aware Nott cares for him on some level. He feels like he needs to give as good as he gets with her. But in this moment, he needed desperately to not look like she could hurt him. He needed to look stronger, so he exaggerated the tough guy routine.

When Fjord brushes off giving his name and abruptly leaves (Ep 58 0:40:59), Wursh feels like he's doing a disservice to this kid if he lets him get away with it. He tells Fjord he knows he's acting like this because he feels like he has something to prove, and he doesn't have to. I can read what Wursh is saying two different ways. Either he was saying don't let the temperament and traits of either your human or orc side rule you. Or don't let how people perceive you based on your blood rule you. Or, most likely, both. You are who you are, you feel what you feel. You are part of both, even when you're made to feel like you're part of neither. You're enough as you are. Trying to act tough will just get the attention of someone powerful enough to hurt you. Fjord knows he's right and the game is up, so he finally backs down.

It remains to be seen how much this lesson will change Fjord's behavior. But it did get him talking about his past to his friends. I don't think they quite understand yet. None of them went through the same thing. But Beau might understand some of the abandonment. Caleb may understand some of the daily fear. One day Nott may understand why he doesn't want to be seen as a monster for the body he's in (this will be tied to her own growth). Yasha understands his sense of loss and his fear of letting people get close. Caduceus may piece all of this together from that conversation. And Fjord may keep learning to trust not just his friend's power, but their compassion.

Scene runs: 0:29:14 to 0:45:31

Fjord is politely disinterested when they get to Wursh's smithy, quietly going over his notes.

0:29:28 Matt: "A tall and built half-orc. You see a thick chin beard of tough, course, black hair, bald head, arms covered in tattoos from, like, mid bicep down to the wrist."

Travis has a delayed reaction, and it isn't until "thick chin beard" that he starts looking uncomfortable. He shifts uncomfortably at the mention of tattoos.

Matt: "Wearing thick leather apron, trousers, no shirt under the apron under the vest and is just kind of sweating on the very edges."

As Matt describes his appearance, Travis has to remember to breathe from nerves. He starts fidgeting with his beard. He's happy to let Caduceus take the lead, although he stays tense.

0:30:27 Matt: "And standing up, he's pushing about 7-foot. He's a very tall bugger."

Fjord starts looking even more intimidated and insecure.

0:30:31 Matt, indicating Caduceus: "So, he's about as tall as you are eye to eye. And just- This guy's been doing a forge for a long time. The immediate comparison of half-orc him to half-orc Fjord is- it's a Laurel and Hardy sketch."

Fjord looks even more uncomfortable.

Taliesin: "His neck has a 6-pack kind of thing?"

Matt: "Yeah"

Travis mimics strongly puffing out his neck and looking mean.

As Caduceus talks, Fjord looks nervously between them. His posture is closed off and tense. When Wursh speaks, it's with the same Texas accent Fjord uses. Fjord raises his eyebrow in surprise, blinks a lot, and manages to look even more anxious.

As Caduceus and Wursh talks, Fjord starts to calm down a bit.

Caduceus suggests Jester would like to see Wursh's tattoos.

0:32:37 Wursh: "Well, she's certainly able to look, but not something you can really teach. These are important to my home town, so wouldn't recommend her giving them out."

"Home town" catches Fjord's ear.

Caduceus: "Oh no, I just think she would really enjoy seeing them."

Fjord tries to sound casual, but it comes off a bit forced and over-inquisitive.

0:32:53 Fjord: "Your, uh, your home town? Where you from?"

Wursh eyes him suspiciously.

Matt: "He kind of gives you a look over. Make a persuasion check."

Travis rolls a 23 and looks quite pleased.

0:33:10 Matt: "He looks you over, kind of grins, and goes,"

Wursh: "You're an inquisitive runt. I like it."

Fjord looks frustrated and put out. He shakes his head in a "yeah, okay, that hurt and was unnecessary" way.

He takes notes as Wursh says his from the Greying Wildlands in the village of Araftcra [sp?] out in the Rhyme Plains [sp?]. Fjord does show genuine interest. Wursh says the tattoos are of the nearby Dunrock Mountains. Caduceus says it's their first day in the city.

0:34:03 Fjord tries to get into the conversation, but Wursh talks over him and cuts him off, talking specifically to Caduceus. It shakes him a bit, and he backs off to regroup.

Wursh asks where they're from. Caduceus says all-over, then talks about where he's from. Wursh thinks Caduceus is a crazy motherfucker for living in the Savalierwood.

0:35:12 Fjord: "You're, uh, so vertically challenged. Everyone like you from the… Araftcra? The same stature?"

0:35:26 Wursh: "Generally, yeah. We're big."

Fjord looks put out.

0:35:29 Wursh: "You should see the full-blooded orcs up there. Plenty of them, and they're a little bigger. Well, one of the clans, anyway."

Fjord looks like he feels very small.

0:35:39 Fjord, obviously feeling insecure and trying to brush it off: "Yeah, not as, uh," he clears his throat," not as huge down in the Menagerie Coast. I'm from Port Damali."

Wursh, with dawning realization: "Oh! You went and grown up in some of that human territory."

Fjord looks like he realized he gave too much away.

0:35:50 Fjord, still trying to play it cool: "Yeah, not too many of us, uh-"

He's cut off by Wursh again.

0:35:53 Wursh: "Explains a lot."

Fjord's beginning to look defeated.

0:35:56 Fjord, resigned: "Yep, well, you do the best you can with what you got. Um…"

0:35:59 Wursh, looking slightly perplexed: "Don't be ashamed of that, son."

Fjord is mildly surprised.

Fjord: "No, I ain't ashamed."

Wursh: "Now look at you; you're mobile. Me, I hit things real hard, but I spend most of my day in here where it's bothering me with the heat. You being from the Menagerie coast, I imagine you've seen quite a bit, too, in your days."

Fjord slightly nods along but looks a bit haunted."

0:36:22 Fjord, trying to sound cocky: "Yeah, it doesn't… bother me so much."

Wursh, looking through him: "Good."

0:36:27 Caduceus: "Mr. Fjord has saved my life on a couple of occasions, actually."

Fjord looks assured by this and more confident.

0:36:33 Nott: "Yeah, it's true. He can carry a barrel with only- just a little bit of assistance from one of our ladies."

Fjord, very annoyed. "Okay! You know, disregard my little goblin friend over here. She's excited by big muscular types."

Nott: "I've seen it, sir. he can lift almost-"

Fjord: "Many barrels."

Nott: "Almost one.

Fjord: "Many barrels by himself."

Nott: "Almost one my himself."

Fjord: "Unaided."

Nott: "Almost one, yeah."

Wursh has stopped paying attention and is looking over the broken sword. He suggests the origin is Uthadernian [sp?].

0:37:28 Fjord: "Luthegernian?"

Wursh: "Uthadernian."

0:37:31 Fjord: "Luthedernian. Sorry, short ears."

Wursh explains it's where the Dwarves and Elves live together. Fjord concentrates on his notes. Wursh says be careful up there. His people are just surviving, but the orcs are bloodthirsty. Fjord listens tensely.

Caduceus asks about a jeweler. Wursh suggests Faton's gems. He isn't a gem wearing person and he's not a master craftsman, so he doesn't have a lot of need. Fjord's posture shifts to be broader and slightly more confrontational.

0:38:59 Fjord, trying to sound and gruff: "Yeah, jewelry wearing's for softer folk."

Fjord screws up his face and spits on the ground. He looks back at Wursh's toughly, but it's obviously an exaggerated act. Wursh laughs.

Caduceus thanks him for his time. Jester comes in because they're taking so long. Fjords watches the exchange uncertainly. She shows the medallion and boasts they're friends of the Dynasty and really cool. Fjord watched Wursh's reaction.

0:39:56 Wursh, not sure what to make of it: "Alrighty, well, I didn't realize I was in the presence of such… whatever the word is for your people."

Fjord, feigning arrogance: "Yeah, don't judge a book by its cover, friend."

Caduceus thanks him for his help and tips a gold piece. Yasha asks his name, and he gives it as Wursh the Tapper. Jester and Caduceus give their names.

0:40:58 Wursh to Fjord: "What's your name?"

0:40:59 Travis, gruffly: "I leave."

There's a long pause.

Wursh: "Alright."

0:41:06 Nott: "His name's Fjord."

Wursh: "Fjord."

0:41:09 Nott: "Yeah. Fjord Tough."

Wursh nods and mulls it over.

Matt: "And he kind of-"

Nott: "Have you heard of him or something?"

Matt: "No, he just-"

Taliesin: "I'm watching this."

0:41:23 Matt: "He walks towards the edge and kind of looks out the door and goes,"

0:41:27 Wursh, looking stern: "Hey, come here a second. Wanna talk to you."

Fjord hesitates and doesn't want to give ground. His answers are curt and standoffish.

Fjord: "What do you need?"

Wursh looks mildly disappointed in the response.

0:41:42 Wursh: "So you said you grew up in the Menagerie coast, right?"

Fjord: "Right."

0:41:46 Wursh: "Around hoity-toity human folk?"

Fjord slightly winces.

Fjord: "Yep."

0:41:52 Wursh: "And you walk around like you got something to prove?"

Fjord: "Is that what it looks like?"

0:41:56 Wursh, nodding, slightly sad: "From where I'm standing, yeah. 'Cause I'm'a tell you something: they don't matter. Yeah, we got a history. But some of us, we don't let that blood rule us, huh?"

Human blood?

0:42:19 Wursh: "I know you feel the anger there, every now and then, but… don't let them define you."

Orc blood? Do you not want to be defined by humans or orcs?

0:42:28 Fjord: "What blood you talking about?"

0:42:30 Wursh: "What? This blood."

Matt: "He kind of scratches the side of his shoulder and bleeds a bit from his finger nails. They're kind of grimy and you can see, like, the coal and dirt and stuff that's under them."

0:42:41 Wursh: "The blood that we came from. Don't be ashamed of that."

Fjord looks briefly confused. He pieces together Wursh means half-orc blood. Don't let orcs or humans define you.

0:42:48 Fjord: "They don't look unkindly on our kind where you come from?"

0:42:53 Wursh: "Don't get too many human folk up north."

Fjord nods.

0:42:58 Fjord: "Why'd you come here, anyway?"

Wursh: "Well, I had an apprenticeship up north, or was trying to go for it. But they, uh, it's a bit dangerous in the alps to get to the sanctum, so I headed south."

0:43:11 Fjord: "Dangerous for someone your size?"

Wursh: "When you're traveling solo, yeah."

Fjord looks down, thinking something over.

0:43:20 Fjord: "If you had the right folk heading up that way, would you consider heading up there again?"

Matt: "He looks around the shop."

Wursh: "Maybe. Making easy money here. Not too bad. Feeling a little… I don't know, stifled by all this night, but, you know, I'm learning, I'm training."

Fjord nods.

0:43:59 Wursh: "Look, I don't want to take too much of your time. I'm just saying… you walking everywhere with your pelvis forward like that and looking to start a fight with anybody that calls you on, well, that attitude, you're going to end up shivved."

Fjord contemplates that.

0:44:18 Fjord: "And I appreciate you looking out."

0:44:21 Wursh: "I'm just saying, don't let any of that bullshit affect you. Just be confident in who you are. Don't try and prove anything."

Fjord, nodding: "Try not to let the heat get to you in here. I'm sure we'll see each other again, Wursh."

Wursh: "Maybe, Fjord, maybe."

0:44:43 Travis: "I reach out my hand."

Matt: "He, like, goes, turns, stops, kind of goes like,"

Wursh makes an affirmative sound and grips Fjord's hand.

Travis: "His fingers wrap around."

Matt: "Yeah. It's like a-" he demonstrates a firm hand clench. "He heads out inside and kind of shoulders past you all."

0:44:58 Jester: "Woah."

0:44:59 Caduceus: "I don't know how he did that. that was amazing."

0:45:00 Jester: "That was- I mean, like, did you see how… many abs he had."

0:45:05 Caduceus: "I mean… I mean even his advice had abs. That was crazy."

Jester: "That was crazy."

Travis, laughing: "His advice?"

0:45:09 Caduceus: "He just… It just like, broke through layers of walls with that guy. I mean, he just never just… I mean… How did that happen?"

0:45:18 Fjord: "Cool tattoos, huh?"

Jester: "Really cool tattoos."

Caduceus: "Super cool tattoos. they were very good, I mean, very impressive.

Yasha: "Yeah, that was amazing."

Jester: "He's pretty cool."

Caduceus: "Yeah."

Fjord looks at them quizzically.

Yasha: "He seemed like a super nice guy."

Caduceus, nodding to Fjord: "He seemed really nice."

Fjord makes a face and scratches his nose to cover it.

0:45:30 Fjord: "What else do we need?"

They discuss what they need to buy.

0:45:51 Laura: "As we walk, I pat Fjord's shoulder, and I say,"

Jester: "Don't worry, Fjord, you have really good abs, too. I felt them."

Fjord, waving her off: "Jester, you don't have to make me feel better about my abs."

Jester: "And you're taller than me. You're really tall in comparison to me."

Fjord, scratching his head uncomfortably: "Yeah, I- Yep, I sure am.'

Jester: "Yeah."

0:46:07 Fjord: "That was just a very large gentleman in there."

Jester: "Yeah. He was pretty big. But sometimes that's not a good thing, you know? Sometimes being a normal size is good, too."

Fjord narrows his eyes and looks like he doesn't know where she's going and he's not sure he likes it.

Caduceus: "What a normal size?"

Fjord: "A normal size?"

Jester: "Yeah, like me. That's a good thing."

Fjord, sarcastically: "I have to be above average. Just so you're aware"

Jester, realizing she's digging herself in a hole: "And then somebody that's even bigger than normal like you are is really good, too, it's like a nice thing! Shit; help me, Yasha."

Yasha: "No, it's okay. You look great."

Travis: "I look up at Yasha."

Fjord looks slightly put-out.

Yasha: "Yes, you're so close to me in size."

Fjord: "Mmhm."

Yasha: "Wait, is some of your… family as big as him?"

0:46:44 Fjord, cluelessly shaking his head: "I don't know who my family is, so I don't think so."

Taliesin, with a skeptical smile: "Insight check."

Taliesin was waiting for something. He rolls a 22.

0:47:02 Travis: "I don't know who my family is."

Taliesin: "Cool. Alright."

Yasha: "You've never known your family?"

0:47:06 Fjord, shrugging: "No. I'm an orphan."

Caduceus: "Really? Huh."

Nott: "So that guy could have been your cousin or something. You don't know."

Caduceus: "I mean, I don't see a resemblance, but…"

Jester: "He did have an accent similar to yours."

Nott: "He did."

Fjord, tensely and annoyed: "Uh huh. Little bit of a, you know, difference." He makes a swap gesture.

Jester: "Just in height."

Nott: "Yeah."

Jester: "But, you know, you looked pretty similar in teeth." Immediate look of regret. "Nope, your teeth are not- I don't- You really didn't look alike. But you had similar accents!"

Fjord, pulling his shirt down and looking really uncomfortable: "Boy!"

Caduceus: "[Could] plant a tree in that hole."

Nott: "The accent was a good tell, yeah, it's true."

Fjord crosses his arms.

Yasha: "It's- who raised you then?"

0:47:46 Fjord: "Uh… The kids around me, I guess. Just kind of learned from being around other orphans."

Caduceus studies him and process that sadly.

Caduceus: "Wow."

0:47:54 Fjord: "Yeah, it wasn't a great place. Driftwood Asylum is very…" He waves off his hand.

Jester: "Asylum!?"

Nott: "Like an orphanage?"

Fjord: "Yeah."

Yasha: "Driftwood Asylum?"

Fjord: "Mmhm."

0:48:04 Nott: "And you didn't even have, you know, like, your muscles to protect you. So, you had to rely on wits and cleverness."

Fjord scratches his face uncomfortably.

0:48:11 Fjord: "I mean, to be fair, I actually was a bit bigger than other kids when I was younger. Half-orcs tend to grow a bit faster, but yeah, I just tend to get picked on a lot. Only one of me around."

Caduceus: "Driftwood Asylum?"

Fjord: "Yeah."

0:48:25 Caduceus: "Someone named an orphanage after wood that needs to be somewhere else or really just wants to go somewhere else? That's just-"

Nott: "It’s also wood that if you find it, you know, it's nice. Sometimes they make art out of it and stuff."

0:48:36 Fjord: "I didn't say it was a great place."

Caduceus: "Wow."

Fjord: "Yeah."

Caduceus: "You lave layers. I feel I just learn something new every day."

Fjord eyes him suspiciously.

Yasha: "Yeah."

0:48:47 Caduceus: "Uh, where to, captain?"

0:48:50

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#critical role #critical role meta #critical role analysis #analysis #Fjord

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102818arcvd · 6 years

Text

PLOT BUNNIES MASTERPOST

GENERAL/MISCELLANEOUS:

You’re walking home and it’s late. I can't just let you walk home like that so I’m walking a bit behind you so I can make sure you’re safe, but that doesn’t mean I’ll admit that soft tidbit of facts.

‘I can’t avoid you. Why do you keep showing up in places where I’m at and… Are you-? You’re not-? You can’t be stalking me . . . are you? Are you sure you’re not?’

Jinsoo has a bad habit of taking dares and bets with enough coercing even if they are not in the best option for him. your muse had dared him // or you’re involved in a dare that he has been tasked with.

Jinsoo has been coming by and feeding this stray animal for weeks, only to find out that it was your pet.

We’re both waiting for the bus and you forgot your umbrella but uh– why are you standing so close to me? . . . Are you purposefully trying to stand under my umbrella? This is embarrassing . . just take it, God.

I Tried to get the candy bar that didn’t drop out of the vending machine and now my hand is stuck. can u help me or I’m going to die here… At least send my regards to my family, they might have to cremate me aND the vending machine together. (x)

You’re so drunk that you literally got onto/into my (vehicle) thinking I was a taxi and you refuse to get off, So, I just end up driving you.

Your muse and Jinsoo both decide to deal with paranormal situations, ghost hunting ig ? i dunno i just want cute talks of all things paranormal stuff, legends, folklore, conspiracy theories-- Going to abandoned places and investigating!! Bringing a camera and equipment, Buzzfeed unsolved type antics!! Going to the haunted forest in wonseo and getting lost!! give me please

‘You fell asleep on my shoulder and I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable but you look so cute and angelic as you sleep and I don’t have the heart to wake you up. No. Wait-- we aren’t a couple, this isn’t what it looks like– Stop it.’

‘You’re a complete stranger but I can tell you have a fear of our current task whatever it may be and I’m attempting to be comforting and take your mind away from the fear by distracting you with conversation and such.’

Jinsoo has a few different things he’s afraid of Spiders,Heights, And open water due to a near-death experience when he was a child. Idea of possibly the other person finding out. Teasing him on it or possibly helping him overcome such fears. He doesn’t like to open up about things about himself unless he’s close to you though so keep this in mind, we can plot some ideas on how they find out!

Muse A is this fairly popular (online persona) and Muse B ran into them and recognized them. when Muse B offered Muse A a handshake, Muse A gave them a hug and followed their (social media) so now they dm each other and every time Muse B visits their events/live streams/ect. Muse A always excitedly greets them and they feel so special.

I meant to grab the popcorn, not your crotch, sorry.

Muse A Sits beside Muse B In a theatre and Muse B is terrified of horror-- Muse B Freaks out partway through and grabs for Muse A's hand repeatedly and Muse A doesn't complain, Because Fuck.. They're really cute ..

Muse A is working/chilling at (Location) and witnesses Muse B get stood up and Muse A goes over to make sure Muse B is okay but-- Oh Jeez . . . are you crying? Uhm, Wait , just -- ...

muse a's puppy has a major problem with behaving while on a leash. while out on a walk, the dog takes off after a squirrel or something. enter muse b, who manages to intercept the beast and now the dog likes them better.

You steal my parking spot all the time and I was just heading out to leave a strongly worded note under your windshield wiper but oh no you're hot I saw you trying to hit the 'door close' button in the elevator but I made it in and then I pushed every single button to make you later for work, but now we're stuck in this fucking elevator as it stops at every single floor and I don't know what to say other than 'you started it!'

Theres a Warning alert because of recent crimes (small to serial killer? whichever) and I'm/You're scared to walk home, so we've been walking home together since.

we're in the waiting room at the vet (groomers or whatever) and my dog keeps whimpering and tugging to go over to your cat/dog and I keep apologizing because my dog just loves everyone seriously

We both like the same person and I’m jealous, so by default, I just don’t like you at least 99% more than before.

We’ve always been partners in crime, best friends till the end, ride or die- but you’ve been spending a lot of time around this new friend and I’m getting way more jealous than I should because I don’t want to lose you.’

FAMILY/FRIENDS THREADS:

‘You and I always get mistaken for siblings and- no, we aren’t? Let’s just roll with it anyway though.’

‘you’re a family member or friend w/e that I drifted away from because you don’t really support anything I do in life and always get preachy about my opinions, actions, and beliefs and now I just try to avoid you every time you want to see me because it’s awkward’

You really like my brother and so you’re asking me to help you but uh… ? I’ve never dated . . . how would I know….

‘character b drifted from their friend (character a) but when they were reunited, one or both of them changed too much’

‘used-to-be strangers who bonded over a mutual enemy’

‘ex-enemies who are now bffs attached at the hip’

'saltmates (friends who bond over their mutual dislike of things) ’

'character b pretended to be character a’s significant other to get creeps to leave them alone and now they’re close friends’

'friends who always seem to find trouble and danger together’

'character a is always pushing character b to do/be better’

'character b is the only person who can talk character a through their panic episodes’

'We used-to-be best friends until character a left character b for new friends’

'friends who bring out the worst in each other (or the best) ’

'they met on social media as teenagers and they’re still close friends’

'We’ve been pen pals/internet friends for a bit and hey, I’m in your area, so let’s meet up?’

“I know I’m the one who suggested we watch a scary movie, but now I can’t sleep. Can I sleep in your room?” (preferably your muse !! Jinsoo is a bit fearless with these things)

CLASS/WORK THREADS:

you keep finding Jinsoo’s origami around and, finding it interesting and also being skilled in (talent) you leave (said item) where his frogs are and somehow it had become a habit regularly, you don’t know each other but tend to always leave the items and maybe words for each other that turn into letters and become friendly penpals of somesort.

you copied off of me and got mad when you got a bad score while I got a good one. you’re just so frustrated because how the hell does that even happen and damn, I seem pretty pleased with myself because I intentionally marked answers wrong and fixed them later so you would stop copying off of me but the teacher figured that I should tutor you and I’m mad that I have to waste my time on a cheater.

'We’re related / Peers in (Competitive Enviornment) and I have an attitude with you but only because I’m really just envious of you.’

'You’re someone I literally can not stand with every fiber in my body for whatever reason. Who in heaven or hell keeps pairing us together for tasks?’

bonding solely via eye contact over that annoying person in our class that we’re both slowly becoming more and more exasperated about.

you came into the store i work at looking for something and i had no idea where it was so we bonded over this impromptu scavenger hunt and now you’re always out shopping for something just to see me.

while waiting outside our classroom i asked what the homework was to which you replied "we had homework!?" and now we always wait outside the classroom together, also you always copy my homework

In (said store) and Muse A Is struggling to reach something, So Muse B comes over to help.

Muse B is a new student / Transfer / visitor to the college and is completely lost as well as horrible at directions, So when Muse A comes by to help-- they end up doing The Most(TM)

NEIGHBOR/ROOMMATE THREADS:

Hanging out and Power outage causes them to have dinner by candlelight; joking about it being romantic

Fighting over the thermostat settings.

You’re a (friend/Neighbor) and something is making noises from the closet but you’re terrified, so I go to investigate the strange noises coming from the closet only to find that a cat had climbed in through your open window and was trying to break free from its encloseted prison.

You keep getting my neighbour to let you inside because I refuse to let you in, can you go home?

‘you accidentally shipped this weird thing to my apartment and I’m returning it and uh– what the hell is that my pet inside your house…???’

‘You’ve been playing guitar in the hall right outside my apartment door for a while now and its 3AM and I’m exhausted, I have a test tomorrow at 9AM- and I’m contemplating going to beat your ass, shut the fuck up.’

'We are neighbours and you always are so loud so late– stomping around and making so much sound- loud as hell… and I used to get mad and be grumpy as fuck and always go over to yell at you but lately, its been strangely quiet and Maybe I miss it? And- Is that crying? are you crying? That’s it, I’m going over.’

i live downstairs from you and your sink pipe has burst and now it's leaking into my apartment so i go upstairs, knock on your door, and you open it soaking wet so i help you fix it while also trying not to get distracted by the fact that your shirt is now see through

ROMANTIC THREADS:

I suggested we play spin the bottle so i could kiss you, but now everyone else is kissing you except me and im highkey getting pissed off now,, :/

I suggested we go to the beach but everyone is checking you out in your swimsuit and now i'm jealous, but i can’t say anything because we’re not even dating.

You have a crush on me for some odd reason and always come to watch me during baseball but I’m pretty dense and don’t realize it and so I genuinely think you want to play baseball with me.

You confessed to me before I went to study abroad in high school and I never replied properly– I had forgotten about it till now.

'I asked you to help me with these topics because I didn’t understand them- But honestly, I think you’re stunning and I just want your attention on me for just a minute. Look at me for now.

'we were each others wingman/wingwoman for some time but now I’m starting to realize that I might be kind of into you and I’m confused. When did that happen? Shit.’

#;pb #;wish: xav

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rorykillmore · 6 years

Note

what would u say are the different ways your characters show affection, love, etc.

thisis gonna be a roller coaster…

whenit comes to most people, lucille is super reserved in her shows of affection. herview of love was so messy and unhealthy for a long time that now she’s prettywrongfooted when it comes to? showing it properly? plus she’s english,

nobut i’d say while there are a select few cases of overt familiarity where she’sa little more tactile and maternal, for the most part lucille shows her affectionby watching out for people, doing what she needs to do to make sure they’resafe. she’s also fairly articulate and thus not too bad at talking peoplethrough things, telling them what they need to hear, supporting them that wayas long as it doesn’t require too much introspection on her part.

gloryis about as disinclined towards physical contact as lucille is, but she doesfind it easier to be a bit warmer. towards people she loves, she’s affectionatewith words if not in gestures – yeah, she’ll get real with you if she thinksyou need to hear it, but she’s also not afraid to point out people’s strengthsand positive qualities and let them know that she believes in them. with certainpeople she’s even inclined to be quite open about how fond of them she is, likewhen she calls moon one of her favorite dragons. needless to say, she’s also fiercely protective of the people she loves, and her affection can shinethrough that way even if it can be… a bit scary…

karareally has no qualms about showing her affection as openly as possible. she’svery physical, very happy to indulge in hugs and kisses and other affectionategestures as long as the other person is comfortable with them. she’s also just,pretty much always open about how she feels when it comes to people she likesand loves, and more than willing to offer them support or compliments or justremind them that she loves them if they need it. there’s really no mystery orsubtlety involved; you’ll know if kara holds any amount of affection for you. thoughone thing to note is that talking about krypton or sharing kryptonian cultureis something that’s… really personal for her, so people she does that withshould know they’re Next Level.

siobhancringes away from affection whenever possible, and –

nahbut obviously, she’s not particularly skilled when it comes to communicatinghow she’s feeling, at least when it comes to the mushy stuff. but while shemight have a hard time telling someone that she loves them, she’s a little betterat showing it, even if not directly – she attaches a lot of stubborn loyalty tothe people closest to her, and will do like, incredibly dumb things for them.she’s actually a bit reckless and self-sacrificial when it comes down to it.her shows of affection also manifest in a particularly chaotic brand ofride-or-die that means picking a fight with anyone who so much as pisses offsomeone she cares about (see: lin hu having to deal with her after insultingrocket).

whenit comes to physical affection… she uuusually doesn’t really indulge in it,although there are some exceptions with people she feels really strongly about,but even then it’s pretty clumsy and usually only in really impulsive moments.

caitlintends to come off to most people as, well, kind of cold. she’s not very tactile,and on top of that she’s very… blunt and professional and not really inclinedto go into mushy feelings too much. you can tell she really cares about someoneif she’s a little more willing to be vulnerable and… well, human, around them.people who see her sweeter, more supportive side are definitely seeing itbecause she loves them. as for killer frost, well, it’s hard to decipher ANYTHINGshe does as affectionate, really. mostly her positive feelings for someone willmanifest in her like… bothering to pep-talk them while they’re down, and eventhen she can be a little harsh. she’s not… very good at being affectionate… oropen about her feelings in general, really

sarausually shows casual affection through teasing, sometimes flirting if thesituation calls for it, but when it comes to the people she’s deeper levels ofride or die for she’s… actually a pretty loving and affectionate person, if inher own way. she’s not SUPER cuddly, but she can be physical if she thinks it’llhelp the other person, or to make a point. namely, though, she’s really good atverbal support, and shows a lot of her affection through pulling people up withthat and emphasizing their better qualities and their worth to the peoplearound them. she’s very… empathetic; she’s good at being able to tell whatother people need to hear and being understanding of their mistakes. and she,unfortunately, also falls into the “stupidly self-sacrificial” category andoverly extreme gestures such as almost crashing the waverider to save apotential teammate,

bramblestar…well he’s a cat, so even at his most casual a lot of his affection is tactile.warrior cats comfort and reassure each other with nose touches, licks, etc.apart from that, he’s gotten really good at… well, Dad-ing other people. akaworrying about them a little too much and occasionally being overprotective,but also giving out good advice and just being kind. also, as a clan cat, hehas loyalty pretty much ingrained into him, so he very much believes in showingaffection through that and stuff like hunting, protecting, making sure everyoneis well-provided for, etc.

heatheris a bit aloof on the surface, at least emotionally. just her not being kind of…dismissive and rude is a good indication that she likes you, because she’s atLEAST learned to be nicer to people she has positive relationships with. physically,she indulges in a lot of casual gestures of affection the way teenage girls tendto do with her friends, but even that itself is an indication of a prettypositive relationship because… if she doesn’t like you, she doesn’t want youtouching her :/. but yeah, just casualstuff like shoulder bumps, arm linking, the occasional hug or sprawling out allover someone (like the cat she is). when it comes to the people she… reallycares about there’s this streak of protective ferocity that rears its head whenthey’re in a really shitty situation, or even just doubting themselves a lot

madelineshows her love by being the most ride or die person on earth, basically. onceshe’s attached to someone, she feels pretty compelled to treat all of theirproblems as a cause she should feel obligated to solve, which… can result inimpressive amounts of resolve and loyalty, but on the other hand, canoccasionally make her way too hover-y and inflammatory. she does mean it out oflove, though. she’s very protective of the people she cares for and very muchbelieves in showing it. if you’re close with madeline, she’ll most definitelyhave your back in any given situation, but… you should probably keep an eye onher so she doesn’t accidentally make things worse,

badgerstripefalls under the same types of physical behavior as bramblestar does, though sheis perhaps even less reserved with that than he is. she grew up learning to be pretty tactile with her sister, and she’s willing enough to extend that to other cats she’s close to. i think, if this makes sense, a lot of her love for others also shows through her willingness to like... steel herself. because badgerstripe has a lot of downplayed insecurity and she has trouble overcoming that when her only motivation is herself, but she draws a lot of strength from wanting to help the people she loves.

trish is a little tricky because she has a good heart, and a lot of compassion for other people, but she’s a bit... withdrawn about showing affection openly. i think a lot of that comes from her upbringing. she doesn’t like to be touched, for one thing, and there are people she can overcome that and be comfortable with but even then like... reaching out in that way is not her first impulse? and i think her relationship with her mom taught her to be more reserved about being verbally affectionate too; she can be very earnest and frank but she has a harder time being really... emotionally vulnerable. it’d probably be good for her to learn to navigate that with people who aren’t jessica.

but mostly as it stands now, one way she was taught to show her fondness for other people is... idk if “gestures” is the right word but like, more material stuff, like how she’ll just swoop in and pay for some of jessica’s shit or fix her door or whatever even without jess asking. and then on a deeper level, she shows love through quiet, unwavering loyalty even in pretty terrifying circumstances, but that’s reserved for... more dire stuff

anya is a little bit like a skittish cat. she’ll kind of... skirt around things and keep her distance even when she’s fond of people until she’s convinced that her feelings are reciprocated without some kind of catch, and then she can be slowly coaxed into showing affection more broadly. up until that point, she kind of does this thing where if she REALLY likes someone but doesn’t want to own up to it, she teases and prods at them and gets a lot more easily drawn into bickering and banter and that sort of thing.

and dolores is... actually pretty openly affectionate and all around Soft with people she’s close to! you don’t get much of that on denny because she’s so jumpy around most people and wary of them getting too close to her (physically or otherwise) but she is very touchy-feely; if she wants to express affection for someone she’ll touch their face or hold their hand or do something sappy like that. she also has a tendency to be pretty open about how she feels; if she really cares about someone it’s not really in her nature to downplay that. she’s kind of all or nothing as far as Feeling Things goes, and thus a surprisingly... direct and uncomplicated entry on this list. it just all comes with the caveat of “she really has to trust you first” so again, not really stuff you’d see much of on denny yet (though she is a little more tactile and gentle with maeve just on the basis of maeve being a host)

#gr8 question but it took me a long time to get through so #enjoy your essay #thanks tony!!#cuts dennys lvad wire #fizzlep0p

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 7 years

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Unpopular pjo opinion: Percy became too op and Mary Sue for me in The Last Olympian. Like, did he really have to become near-indestructible? Why would Annabeth just jump in between him and (to her knowledge) certain death? Like, shes smart enough that she would have planned further ahead instead of doing something so irrational! And why did Percy just decide not to tell anyone about his invincibility until much later? Could have helped the group out in the beginning, y'know!

I mean…I wouldn’t call him a Mary Sue, no. I definitely see the angle you’re coming from, but like. Literally a normal mortal would have stood no chance against Kronos. It just wasn’t going to happen. Percy got the smallest scratch from that scythe and almost had his soul burned away. And to everyone’s knowledge right up until Percy handed over the knife, it looked like Percy was going to have to fight Kronos and win if Olympus stood any chance. Also, the army for the ‘good side’? It was like…40 campers, the Hunters, and some nature spirits. Versus huge, seemingly never-ending hordes of monsters and twisted demigods and mortal mercenaries and angry minor gods and titans. Coming at the city from all sides. They would not have been able to win this without Percy swimming in the Styx. That’s just a fact- he was able to take down way more monsters and villains than before he got the curse. Camp Half-Blood has always been relatively small headcount wise. He was convinced to take the curse because that’s what they needed to happen.

ALSO, It was important because Luke also had taken up the curse, and Percy and Luke are very obviously literary foils. Luke took the curse to serve Kronos and Percy took it to defeat him. Luke took the curse to protect himself and Percy took the curse to protect his friends. Throughout the entire series, the boys are clearly meant to be foils of each other, and there are multiple moments where it seems as though Percy is ‘following in Luke’s footsteps’ so to speak, so it absolutely makes sense that jumping in the Styx is something Percy would have to do.

Not to mention, Percy taking up the curse was (very cleverly, in my opinion) used as a way to show us he’s becoming a man. Remember at the end of botl where Poseidon tells him he’d ‘be a man if we were in Sparta’? A very common thing in books to symbolize a character growing up is to have them separate from their mother. Killing the mother off is unfortunately the most common way to do this, but Sally is amazing and got lucky. We, as readers by this point, are used to Percy asking his mom for advice. “Should I leave camp to join this quest? What do you think this means?” stuff like that. The fact that Percy needs his mother’s blessing for the curse to work makes the scene in their kitchen a turning point. He’s not asking if she thinks this is a bad idea, he’s saying “This is my only shot of saving Olympus. This is the only way. I need to do this.” Sally has spent her son’s entire life trying to defy fate. She kept him out of camp too long, she surrounded herself with the worst mortals possible to keep him safe, she wanted to keep him with her because he’s her baby. And he absolutely still is, no one’s contesting that, but the scene forces her to confront the fact he’s growing up. She has to make the decision to give him up, to put him in the hands of his own fate. The scene is used to show the readers ‘this is not the little boy who started the series’. He doesn’t need his mom to drive him into battles anymore. And the fact that Sally did give her blessing was good for Percy. He knows he’s the biggest light in his mother’s life, you can tell he’s more panicked about how his death would affect her than he was about actually dying. The fact that she symbolically gave him up to fate…He left the apartment knowing he didn’t have to worry about her. He knew that his mother had come to terms with everything and would, eventually and with help from Paul, be okay after he died. That was a strong moment for them both, and it allowed Percy to focus all his energy on the war.

As for Annabeth…that scene on the bridge was so important oh my God. It WAS irrational, you’re correct, and that’s why it’s one of the most meaningful moments in the series!

Annabeth, as we’ve seen time and time again, even as recently as ‘Blood of Olympus’, is terrified of emotions. She hates them! Because they’re not rational. It drives her crazy, crazy that she can’t understand things like her relationship with her family, or her relationship with Luke. Annabeth is this strong minded, rational being, but that’s not how feelings work. She feels things very strongly, and that scares her, because it leaves her confused and unsure of what she’s doing.

We see Annabeth act irrationally many times throughout the series…and those moments are always connected to Luke. Thinking if she just yells loud enough she can get through to him, refusing to give up on him even when he’s literally got Kronos living inside him, basically her every thought about him is crazy. It’s understandable, certainly, because he means so much to her, but? From the standpoint of literally everyone else? He’s Kronos’ number one man and host, he’s not coming back (and it’s the irrational emotions that save him! that save Olympus! that’s so important!). But the point is, this entire series, Annabeth’s ONE weak spot has always been Luke. That’s why Percy was always so frustrated with her, especially in the later books. She’d defend Luke to her grave even though he was evil, for all intents and purposes, and as Percy was a young teenager with a very strong crush I’m sure you can imagine how that’d make him feel second best? It’s fairly obvious from botl that he knew or at least suspected Annabeth had a crush on him…but she didn’t even have her feelings for Luke figured out at that point. Annabeth never made any irrational decisions regarding Percy. She’s not the best with emotions, absolutely, and from Percy’s point of view, all her strongest feelings have always been for Luke. He trusts her as a best friend, he trusts her to not defect to the Titan Army and keep fighting for the gods, but Luke’s the one she’s always going to defend. Luke’s always gonna be her weakness. Kronos is using Luke’s body as a shell and she still believes in her heart he’s in there and she can get through to him. And that’s where most of Annabeth’s energies lay, at this point. She’s worried about Percy, and she’s mad at him (but it’s mostly stemming from worry), and she has a crush on him…but she’s never been so overcome with her feelings for him that she did something stupid before. That’s always been a Luke thing, a Luke thing against her will, and I think that’s why she really doesn’t realize “I love Luke like a brother” until the climax of the fight. She’s never had a moment like that with Percy, because Percy is always right there and dependable and doesn’t need anyone to save him. She clamps down on her feelings for him at times because she’s afraid of what will happen to her if he dies. She doesn’t want Percy to be her weak spot because he has such a higher chance of dying. She’s scared of opening herself up and getting hurt again, like with Luke. She. hates. emotions. and. wants. to. suppress. them.

And she doesn’t know at this point that she’s the one and only thing tying Percy’s soul to the mortal world.

But she sees someone advancing on his unprotected back with a poison-dripping knife (and how easily could that have been the cursed blade to reap the hero’s soul?)

And she feels it in the pit of her stomach that something’s wrong, she knows he’s not going to be able to defend himself in time. So what does she do, willingly, for the first time in her life?

Gives in to her irrational feelings.

She doesn’t fight them at all. She jumps in front of the knife.

This is just such an important turning point for the two of them- Percy never expected her to do something like that for him. For Luke, maybe Thalia, sure, but he probably expected a more calculated move, or a plan for himself. This was the first time he really started to see the depth of her feelings for him, which made him feel braver confronting his own feelings for her. And Annabeth now immediately has to confront the facts- she’d die for Percy. I don’t think that’s something she realized she would do before she jumped. She can’t ignore her emotions now, they just clawed their way out of their carefully constructed cage and shoved her in front of a poisoned dagger.

And she’s still scared of feelings and things that don’t make sense, because that’s not something you shake so quickly, but because of this moment? When she was in the throne room and she realized either Luke or Percy was about to die? She was able to figure out her feelings pretty damn fast.

(Also, didn’t Percy choose not to tell the camp about the Achilles’ Curse because he knew there was still a spy there?)

#send me pjo stuff yo #pjo #percy jackson #Annabeth chase #rick riordan #asks #molly mumbles

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