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#which i think is more his labs vibe and is why im currently not having fun with the stuff i do rn
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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#had my 1st meeting with a potential adviser for a phd project#i think it went well. he was excited thst i was interested in the specific papers i listed my my email#and his lab does some super cool stuff. and he seems like a nice guy#so thats all exciting. i think the lab is only like a few degrees away from being an outstanding pick#ugh but its so close tho. like biochem and Evolutionary genertic stuff. id probably do a degree in ecology and evolution#and the department is evolutionary genetics focused. which sounds crazy cool. like i dont wanna hang with agriculture ppl. bring me the#Evolutionary biologists. plus they have some nasa ties and a big astrobiology guy is coming back to the department#and if i go. id prob get to do some work at [redacted] national park! which is an even bigger deal than the work ive done at [redacted]#national park! it would be a big change tho. more cold and snowy than the literal desert#so like im def gonna apply. and hopefully get in and hopefully visit. and we'll see what happens#im still looking at my options but this one seems pretty damn good to me#fingers crossed 🤞 i suppose#unrelated#god. it really seems like the lab is a good fit tho. like when i talk to Ecologists im like haha yea im not an ecologist#bc they wanna look for broad patterns in a big system. and im like nah fuck that. i wanna kno how this specific thing works#which i think is more his labs vibe and is why im currently not having fun with the stuff i do rn#ah we'll see where i find myself in a year#i would prob still be equally far from home tho lol. just at higher lattitude
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nostalgiaruinedme · 3 years
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FOR GODFUCKINGSAKE IM DYING I WANT TO SLEEP THE NEXT TWO WEEKS WHY DID I GET SO HOOKED UP IN THIS STORY
Donnie’s arc has been showing so much potential. The groups all divided and facing their own issues, Donnie showing his evil persona, the kraangs threat becoming more dangerous. It’s like we can see how the turtles are actually improving their plans. I facepalm myself when you turned the mutagenic in gas cause this is so clever, and I remember one of yours spoilers without context and HOW COULD I NOT SEE THIS-
For the rest of the gang, I don’t have a flying clue, since so many things can happen. There’s the turtles adventuring in the DiX all alone, and we don’t even know how much time is between their arriving, April’s kidnapping and the Mikeys adventure. Their biggest conflict could be Donnie’s secret, but I’m also believing they could confront RiseLeo. To be fair, I also don’t have a clue to where this boy is, he could also come back to earth to start the whole invasion while the disaster stays in DiX, but I think with so many strong opponents there and Donnie’s questionable loyalty, I believe he wouldn’t leave without guaranteed damage control.(But as I believe you’re making the theme of the final battle being between with each counterpart, 12Donnie will be of Donnie’s arc so I think everyone will find each other of the end of this character’s story)
I also believe the Mikeys will play a role in April’s rescue, they have already adapted to the new dimension, already knows the Kraangs bases and how to invaded it, and with Leatherhead there, they would have a reason to go there instead of venturing around like the rest of the bros, while still unknowing about April’s presence.
For the team on Earth, I also don’t know, probably Irma, but I will wait like the good reader I am.
Side note: I love Donnie as a “let see these slides with all the ways I planned to end you” villain. I believe is a huge contrast with Leo, with his “wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy” rest face.
Other thing I like for Donnie’s arcs is this whole reluctance of his. Possible Headcannon of mine: his old self has probably adept with this new situation due to time, so is able to fight back more in comparing to a two weeks long experience. It could also be due to his time alone in the lab, which may have intensified this want for his family presence. (Maybe ironic with his fame as the most apathetic of the brothers?yeah, but I love this)
This kinda goes along with the main theory that Donnie will break the mind control by himself. I mean, that what’s being implied with the current scenes and the songs you designed to the arc. “Dance with the devil” I believe is April trying to connect with old Donnie and helping him to “dance around” this new persona and come back. “Modern chain” got a little confusing to me,cause it seems like conjuring a justification to a mistake, so Donnie could be doing something terrible to try and balance his loyalty to the Kraang, but still keep April close, but could also be Donnie using his felling from April, this “sin”, to release this chains. I don’t know if Control, by Dark Signal is for Donnie too, but if it’s so my bets are he breaking the control to save someone, most likely April, from a dangerous situation. If this is true, I’m also imagining Leo’s feelings of betrayal, kinda like Mai betraying Azula, in Avatar. (I’m terrible interpreting songs, sorry).
Btw, which song are we now?
Now to talk a little about RiseLeo. I strongly believes he’s the “he” mentioned, and if it’s true, I’m curious bout his lethality if necessary rule. When you said “someone” had changed the plans to capture the turtles alive, I was 100% it was Leo, specially to vibe with this ~mysterious antagonist, and I thought it was because of this bigger presence of their old personality. But could it also be a way to Leo manipulate Donnie into keeping working to the Kraangs? For Donnie at least, it has been a year, so those uncertainty feelings have been coming along for a while, so maybe Leo came up with that to calm him a little(guess he’s running a little out of patience at this point though). What gets me a bit concern is how he doesn’t show his secret feelings like Donnie, which should be happening if he spent almost the same amount of time with the device. If his songs are anything to go by, I believe his old self’s not “adapting” like his twin, but getting even more subdued to his villain persona, considering how much stronger he became(WHICH IS SO WORSE).
Also, if it’s really Leo, yore truly embracing his no appearance rule. It’s been almost 30 chapters, we could at least get his name at this point, right ma’am?
For the final scene, yeah, I’m fucking scared for April, but I believe she will not be controlled. My current imaginary scenario is leatherhead breaking for the torture and just busting in there. Probably grabbing Donnie’s head and all of that. But hey, maybe is just my hope
Sorry for this essay, but I’m in the dark here, and a girl needs her theories to keep going for two more weeks. I’m for sure wrong, but I like to vent
Oooo NEVER apologize for the essay-long asks, they're my favorite 😂 I am gonna put the rest under a read more tho so it doesn't destroy anyone's dash, and I'll number it to try and keep my responses organized.
1. I'm glad you liked the mutagen gas idea!!!! I've never seen it used anywhere else in the fandom and it's such an underused idea in my opinion??? Gas is so much harder to contain than the weird liquid it usually is and 2012 never did anything to confirm it couldn't be turned into a gas, so I just think it's a pretty cool concept and it's something I'm actually kinda proud of myself for thinking up 😭i haven't seen anyone else use it but if anyone knows any other examples of it you guys should totally throw it my way-
2. I'm not entirely sure if you mean the finale battle of Book 1 or the final battle of everything (which would be Book 2), but I can't say too much about either of them... but the battles between counterparts is EXTREMELY important to me!! If you notice, Rise Mikey was taken down by 2012 Mikey, and Rise Raph was likewise taken down by 2012 Raph. Having themselves be the one to take them down was just something that I decided was really important back when I was still outlining the first few chapters... so yeah, that's all I'll say there lol
3. The Mikeys will definitely be playing a big role in the upcoming plot! That's all I'm gonna tell you for now, since I think it's too close for me to tease too much without giving it away ;)
4. YOU GET IT that is exactly the difference between controlled Donnie and controlled Leo! Donnie will brag about and explain everything, but Leo would be more of a "you'll find out my plan when you're watching it unfold yourself". Very different styles, but both resulting in something horrifying nonetheless.
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5. I like your Donnie theories a lot ;) I also like your song theories, but I'm going to force myself not to say TOO much on those as to not give anything away... but I will say this: you got a lot right. Some wrong too, but a lot right, and I'm not gonna tell u which is which :p
6. We actually just finished Modern Day Cain! So we would be at Wish Myself Away, but that song is more in there for Our Shared Reflection. So I'd say we're actually about to enter Boomerang by Smash Into Pieces and Burn It Down by Against the Current since both songs occur right around the same time in the story.*
(*note: I recently updated the playlist, but these changes are only in the Spotify playlist as of now, not the youtube one. Just a heads up!)
7. You're in the right line of logic! I will mention one key difference between the Kraang's switching to nonlethal and "him" instructing them to use lethal force if necessary: The Mikeys are an immediate threat to the Kraang's plans. The turtles were a threat too, but the Kraang had a little wiggle room for failure. Let's take a look at something Donnie said in the most recent chapter...
"...if they keep destroying our mining facilities, we're not going to have enough power for the forcefield. Those crystals are a limited resource! You know as well as I do that, outside of this region, they don't exist, and they take hundreds of years to grow back. When they're gone, they're gone until they grow back."
Donnie's plan hinges on the use of forcefields and his mutagenic gas. He needs enough power to not only power up the forcefield over New York City, but also to keep it up for MONTHS or even longer while also increasing its size. He's literally trying to form a forcefield around all of Earth. If he doesn't, the mutagenic gas will just escape through the atmosphere and he'll need to add even more than they already have. And it's canon that the Kraang don't actually have that much mutagen prepared for the invasion.
In Season 3 Episode 12 of 2012, Kraang Subprime demands to know why they've had control of New York City for three months but still haven't expanded, and the random Kraang replies that most of their mutagen was used up in the invasion. Sure, New York City is a big place, but the fact that they used up the majority of their mutagen on one single city when they were planning on conquering the whole world?
Either the Kraang are absolute morons, mutagen is hard to get a hold of, or both. I'm going with both. So Donnie knows that it takes a long time for those worms to produce mutagen, so his goal is to use only what they already have... meaning if the Mikeys destroy enough of those energy crystals that the Kraang don't have enough power for their forcefield, the plan is OVER. DONE. That's a much more immediate threat than the team that's just kind of vaguely trying to figure out how to stop them over all. The Kraang can afford to lose a few battles with the whole team; they can't afford too many more losses to the Mikeys.
So it's not necessarily two different people ordering lethal vs nonlethal... they're in very different circumstances.
8. We'll see Leo soon I promise 😭 I KNOW it's been a long time but I do think it'll be worth it. And in Book 2 he's going to place a HUGE role!!!! Leo is my favorite Rise character so I'm not just doing him dirty and ignoring him for shock reveal points, I actually have something planned. Just a few more chapters!!
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9. Leatherhead will be involved in the upcoming battle, but that's all I'll say! Gotta keep some secrets here too~
Thank you for this ask! It was a lot of fun to answer. Hopefully, I've given you a bit more to theorize over too! The two weeks will fly by though, I'm sure. Thanks for reading and your support <3
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periminkle · 4 years
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Orphic | 04
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After moving into your own place, it seems life is finally going your way; the path to independence leading you to a quaint suburban town where even the grass seems to grow a little greener. Although a shocking encounter leads you to believe that perhaps appearances can be quite deceiving.
pairing: hybrid!jk x reader (first person)
genre: hybrid au, angst, fluff
word count: 7.6k
rating: PG-15
warnings: swearing, descriptions of blood and cleaning wounds, mentions of cannibalism (o.o)
author’s note: mMMm setting deadlines is effective but exhausting, so the pacing of this might be a bit weird? also im def not late bc it’s still sunday in some timezones so ;))
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I stared intently at the grungy nick in the otherwise spotless wall, mind racing a mile a minute.
The better half of the last hour had been spent pacing back and forth, gaze unmoving from the unconscious man in fear of missing the twitch of a finger or the flutter of an eyelash. His complete stillness persuaded me to check on his pulse frequently, glad to feel the faint, yet steady, beat beneath layers of smooth skin.
When I received a second call from my cranky saviour to inform me that he was nearly here, I forcefully sat myself down and practiced that infamous square breathing that every zen yogi swore by. By the persistent bouncing of my knee, it was evident that the yogis had failed me.
Rain was pounding down in thick sheets onto the pavement outside and at this point I was convinced the world had it out for me, using every trick in the book to further complicate this surely doomed rescue mission. Nonetheless, I optimistically hoped that the incoming storm would soon subside.
My unfortunate lips dealt with the brunt of my merciless canines, rendering the skin raw by the time a distinctive series of raps against the sturdy door caught my attention. It was the very same pattern in which I’d regularly knock on the door to the cleaning storage, craving the company of someone other than the three musketeers I’d gotten to know better than my own blood.
Although I ordinarily would be enthusiastically welcomed and greeted with nothing less than a wide, heart-shaped grin, the circumstances now were undoubtedly exceptional. Thus, the crinkle between his brows and the disgruntled glare fixed on my sheepish smile were to be expected.
Needless to say, Hoseok was not impressed.
“What the hell?” the typically friendly janitor barked out, huffing out his frustration at having his slumber disturbed. “You do know that it’s almost two in the morning right? How did you even get in here? Why couldn’t this wait for tomorrow?”
His hair stuck up in a multitude of different directions, evidently having rolled out of bed, slipped on a jacket and came to my rescue. The wrinkled, blue horse character on his pajama set eased some of my nerves at the familiarity of its nose, in the shape of Hoseok’s smile that was, understandably, nowhere to be found with the current circumstances.
I gripped the distressed male by his lithe shoulders, imploring him to slow down. “I’m not coming in tomorrow. Listen, this is gonna sound absurd but—”
His eyes drifted past my smaller form and I firmly shook at his torso to prevent him from spotting the other man. “Hey! Eyes down here.” A hint of curiosity bled through his agitated exterior when he focused on my stern exterior once more. “You can’t freak out, okay?”
Hoseok shrugged his approval, murmuring, “Yeah, I get it, directly disobeying the head researchers is pretty satisfying and all, but did you really have to drag me into this? Especially when you know I start early on Saturdays?”
At the reminder of his strict schedule, I withered marginally as I originally hadn’t intended to involve him at all. A shameful appreciation began to eat away at my conscience, grateful for his presence in spite of my outrageous request. I wouldn’t know what to do if Hoseok hadn’t come through and in my eyes, he remained an angel who was too good to be true.
“I’m sorry, I promise this is really important.” I brought my arms back to my sides, glancing down at my feet in order to organize my swirling thoughts. “I wouldn’t call you if it wasn’t an emergency.”
What I didn’t notice while lost in my reverie was Hoseok’s rebellious stare, wandering over the injured man’s form. “What the fuck?” He gently shoved me aside, stumbling deeper into the laboratory. When he was planted by the stranger’s table, he repeated, “What the actual fuck?”
My head tipped back in exasperation, disappointed that not even my last minute backup strategy was going according to plan. “Hobi, please.”
I could practically envision the gears whirring in his head, a natural reaction considering the mutant in front of him. When he finally craned his neck back to me, he mumbled with wide eyes, “Say sike right now.”
“Stop talking for two seconds.” I groaned, marching up to position myself between the janitor and the table in an attempt to calm him down. Immediately upon noticing his trembling digits, I reached out to clasp them within my own quivering hands. “Listen, this experiment they’re conducting? From what I know, it’s all some screwed up excuse to inject animalistic characteristics of their choosing into humans. And their track records point to a lot of predator species.”
“Predators? Wha—why would they even want to create a predator-human hybrid?” Hoseok took a tiny step back and out of the fear that he would flee, I fiercely clamped down onto our conjoined limbs.
“I don’t know yet,” I faltered. “But, honestly, I couldn’t care less because of how unethical they are in their approach to this project.” At his puzzled expression I somberly gestured to the unmoving lump in the corner, willing myself to postpone any tears for a safer location.
Hoseok must have connected the dots at the midnight black shade of fur peeking out underneath the fabric matching the colour of the hybrid’s ears and tail, as his stare hardened and his breathing began to even out from the rapid pace it was at before. “I’ll need more details later on, but let’s get him out of here first.”
At his command, I retracted from Hoseok's hold, scoping out the rather barren area for something other than the masses of files and papers strewn about. “You think we can carry him together?”
Simply comparing the difference in size between the stranger and Hoseok, there was no doubt the copious, hulking mass of muscle outweighed my friend’s slimmer figure. Our combined strength would have to somehow prove formidable against his bulky body.
Hoseok’s grimace spoke volumes about his faith in that idea, although there wasn’t much of a choice considering the alarming time crunch and our limited accessibility to other parts of the laboratory. Due to my blind confidence in the ostensibly foolproof scheme I constructed, the only cameras shifted were directly located in the path from the front entrance to the changing room to the upstairs lab.  
Oh, how I was regretting that naivety now.
Using an abandoned stretch of fabric that had been stuffed into one of the drawers I rummaged through earlier, I covered his immobile body with the thin cover to provide some decency and act as a layer of defence against the torrents outside.
While Hoseok stood directly behind his head, leaning forward to loop his arms underneath the hybrid’s triceps and around his chest, I grabbed each of his ankles, cradling them to my abdomen. Even with our best efforts to avoid any of his wounds, there was no way to avert the countless scratches and bruises that littered every inch of visible skin. We counted on the sanguine belief that he wasn’t conscious enough to feel any of it, reluctant to use any tranquilizers when we weren't aware of how much juice they’d already injected him with.
“On the count of three?” Hoseok asked.
With a nod, I tightened my hold and widened my stance. “One, two,” after taking a generous inhale, I heaved, “three!”
The two of us managed to maneuver the stranger down the length of the dingy hall before we were forced to gently place him onto the ground, desperate to grant our aching muscles the break they demanded. Currently, construction was being done on the elevator, which meant that the flight of stairs was the next obstacle to be tackled.
I lost the brief, but fierce, battle of rock-paper-scissors and endured the frightening prospect of marching down the stairs backwards—in the dark. All because Hoseok was unwilling to sacrifice the slightest bit of his comfort for the both of us to step sideways.
It was safe to say the stairs themselves took ten minutes to clear.
On the first floor, we were able to cross over to the main entrance in a breeze thanks to the spacious nature of the lobby. After scurrying to Hoseok’s car and laying the hybrid in the back seat, I returned to the lab to dutifully lock up the front door and jogged back to the vehicle.
Hoseok sent me a befuddled brow lift from the front seat when instead of the passenger’s side, I hesitantly stood a stride away from the driver’s door. “He’s fine, hurry up already so we can get out of here.” He motioned to the space beside him with the flick of his chin, his bed head dancing along with the movement. “It wouldn’t look too great if anyone caught us right now, especially with the man-cat knocked out cold in the back. Plus, the lab just radiates spooky vibes at night, look at my goosebumps!”
“Okay, okay, give me a second,” I grunted, opening the door to the back seat as I bowed inside to avoid a painful meeting with the roof of the vehicle. While gripping the back of the stranger’s skull with one hand and his upper back with the other, I lifted his torso and slipped inside. Tenderly, I placed his head on my lap.
“What are you doing?” Hoseok stared at me through the mirror, evidently unnerved by my proximity to the man. “He could literally wake up at any minute and there goes your throat!”
“Or he could get juggled around from your shitty driving and open his injuries again,” I countered, “which I think is a lot more likely, no?”
He scoffed, taking full offence to my jest. “Never mind. I hope he throws you out the damn window for calling my driving anything less than spectacular.”
The rush of excess blood coursing through my veins as a result of my overactive heart pounded in my head, nearly loud enough to block out the boisterous revving of the engine echoing throughout the empty lot. Tires squeaked against the pavement, jolting the hunk of metal into action as we sped away.
“Where were you thinking of leaving him?” he asked, taking a breath before mumbling, “that is, if you thought about this at all.”
“Hobi!” My jaw dropped dramatically at his not so subtle jab, shaking my head as I commented, “You’ve been hanging around Yoongi too much lately. I mean, all this sass couldn’t have come from nowhere.”
He slowed down behind the only other car in sight, flicking on his signal to turn. “Don’t change the subject.”
“I’m not, I was just commenting on your drastic change in behaviour,” I rebutted, crossing my arms across my chest at his determination to aggravate me tonight. “For your information, I actually planned this out for weeks; who do you think got the key card to the upstairs lab, the keys to the building itself, moved all the cameras—
Despite the leather seat between us, I knew he was sporting a sly smirk, for his conceit was bleeding through his supercilious tone. “And who begged me for help halfway through this ingenious plan?”
My jaw clenched shut, astounded at his cheeky retorts. At first, I was unsure of how the relationship between the jovial custodian and the chilly facade that Yoongi donned among strangers would progress, but judging by the sheer number of occasions in which I’d walked into a room with the two chatting away—gummy smiles all around, it seemed to be advancing better than expected.
“Whatever, you came anyway.” I sank back into my seat, careful not to disturb the comatose man peacefully resting on my thighs. Hopefully he was narcotized enough to remain oblivious to the various disturbances around him and would only rouse when the sun made an appearance.
Hoseok blithely sneered, pressing harder on the pedal as he spun the steering wheel to the right. “Yeah, well it’s kind of hard not to when you claim that Hyunho’s going to sue your ass for thousands of dollars.”
“And was I wrong?” I recalled our earlier conversation, where I hadn’t yet mustered up the courage, much less the patience, to confess to the details of my crimes. In a panicked state, I simply presented the consequences which would follow Hoseok’s absence—Hyunho’s wrath.
“No, now you’re just gonna get your ass handed to you by Namjoon and Yoongi,” he countered. “But I guess you’ll save some money while you’re at it.”
Merely the thought of their reactions to my late night escapade made me want to shrivel up in a ball. “Who said I’m going to tell them?”
“You’re not telling them?” The car slowed as he gradually came to a graceful stop behind a red light, turning his torso to face me with the help of his hand on the central console. “You know better than to release the man-cat, he’ll just get caught again.”
Rolling my eyes like a petulant child being scolded, I muttered, “I’m not releasing him.”
“But you can’t deal with him on your own either!” he snapped, the lack of sleep shortening his tolerance. After a pause to regain his senses, Hoseok rapidly shook his head and twisted back to focus on the empty roads ahead.
"Listen," I gritted out between my teeth, my own temper flaring. “I think you’re forgetting that I was well aware of the fact that I would be housing some kind of animal for a while, just didn’t know he would be this big.”
“Or this dangerous? This costly?” His firm grip on the wheel tightened, knuckles turning white as his emotions boiled over. "You’re not prepared to deal with him, I'll just take him back to my place."
A puff of air escaped my throat at his ridiculous solution, stating, "You live with your sister. There's no way she won't find out."
"Like you're any better off," he quipped, staring me down through the rearview mirror. "You live alone. If he were to do anything to you, we’d be none the wiser about it."
"Well, we can't risk anyone discovering his existence. There's no other way.” By watching the stranger’s chest rise and fall with each elongated breath, I was able to simultaneously avoid Hoseok’s prying eyes and collect my own thoughts.
While impatiently waiting for his arrival back at the lab, my mind had trudged through copious possibilities, overwhelmed with the pressure to choose the right one. Eventually, I came to the disconcerting conclusion that, be that as it may, the most secure option remained to bring him back to my place.
I reassured, "Don’t worry, I cleared out my bedroom so that there’s nothing in there that could potentially be used as a weapon. We'll secure him down, lock the door, and I'll camp out in the living room."
"Y/N, we don't have any clue what this guy is capable of,” Hoseok stressed, worry colouring his voice as he sharply gesticulated with his free hand. “Hell, look at him! He has cat ears, Y/N, and do not get me started on his tail.”
I stole a glance at the accused appendage in bewilderment, unsure of why that aspect was at the forefront of Hoseok’s concerns regarding the mutant boy. “What’s wrong with his tail?”
“My point is,” he accentuates, “we have no idea what we’re dealing with here. What if he has some kind of monstrous super strength and his diet consists of human flesh? He could probably rip right through any restraints and bam! That'll be the end of you."
I held my tongue at ridiculing his absurd speculations when some sort of man-cat hybrid was currently strewn across the back seat of Hoseok’s run-down Corolla; a dim display exposing the current, ungodly hour of the early morning.
“Do you have any better ideas?" Although my question was met with radio silence, we steadily continued on the potholed path headed away from my house. I spoke up again, "Where are you taking us?"
"We're going to Namjoon's place, and we're gonna think of a better alternative all together."
"Hoseok," I seethed, fists clenching next to my thigh. "He'll make us take him back. We're already too far in to go back now."
The car jerked violently due to the bumpy road and being suddenly reminded of the wounded boy, I shot out to grab at his thin waist in order to nail him to the seat. Despite my best efforts, crimson liquid soaked through the thin blanket and I cursed under my breath.
"I can't leave you there alone with him!"
"Please, we'll be careful." A beat passed as I greedily inhaled the fresh air flowing in through my open window,  gathering ideas to negotiate. "I'll stay awake the whole time and I'll text you every hour."
Regardless of my pleas, the car kept at its incessant pace to Namjoon's apartment. Sweat began to accumulate at my temples at the unsure fate of what censure awaited me. To distract my nerves, I gripped the fabric that covered the man’s body, tugging it over his shoulders to rest just below his chin while pressing a bunch into his side in an attempt to stop the bleeding.
Past the low hum of the vehicle, a gentle utterance met my ears. I lifted my head to inquire whether the sound was merely a figment of my fatigued imagination when Hoseok repeated, "Every half hour."
My eyes widened, darting to examine his stoic expression from the rearview mirror. "Yes! Yes, yes of course. I can even do every ten minutes if that’s what you want." I shrugged my shoulders, pointing out, "I'll be up all night anyway."
"No, I'm good. Unlike some of us, I don't deserve to be punished for my crimes and would like to salvage the little sleep I can get," he declared as he performed a U-turn at a wide intersection.
My grin expanded exponentially at the change in direction. "Suit yourself."
I allowed my thoughts to clear, tracing a clear droplet on the window as it raced to engulf another, merging into one, larger globule that ran down the smooth expanse until it was out of sight. Unknowingly, I mindlessly carded my fingers through the stranger’s dampened strands; more so for my own comfort than for anyone else.
Before I knew it, we’d arrived at my quaint cottage and with the addition of another individual residing under its roof, the place seemed tinier than ever. Hoseok and I shuttled him over to my bedroom as gracefully as we possibly could, aiming to avoid whacking into any obstacles along the way.
Other than his lengthy legs knocking into two door frames, we were clear.
The second his back met the rigid mattress, we collectively released a weighty exhalation from the excessive exertion that strained both our physical and mental states. Although the chances of the stranger waking up now were low, seeing as he was out like a light throughout the whole journey, I hurried to collect the sturdy ropes that I purchased in advance.
“Ooh, you’re into some kinky shit, huh Y/N?” Hoseok quipped, taking the material from my hands.
My eyes rolled back at his stupid antics, glaring at the pleased crinkles forming next to his drooping eyes. “Ha ha, very funny. Now help me tie him up, so I can kick you out of my house.”
“And what’re you gonna do to him when I leave?”
Snatching the rope that he stole from me, I shoved Hoseok to the side by pressing against his firm bicep—which definitely carried more than his fair share of the hybrid on the way here—and grumbled, “Guess If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.”
Hoseok burst into a short fit of contagious laughter, invoking a couple quiet giggles that I was unsuccessful in fighting down. As he raised the stranger’s arms to the bed frame, I looped the braided, nylon material snug around each of his wrists. Along the way I checked to ensure that the restraints weren’t too tight before moving onto his ankles to repeat the process. Luckily enough, his height stretched the entire length of my minuscule bed with his feet dangling off the ledge.
“Tell me you brought more tranquilizers in case?” Hoseok asked immediately upon securing the last knot. Throughout a tedious explanation on how foolishly lax I was behaving with the hybrid, he went back to inspect my handiwork, tugging the ends of the cords closer together into a grip that nearly cut off the hybrid’s blood flow.
Over his nagging, I sneaked a victorious grin as I displayed the syringes I’d nabbed from the lab. He spent a few more minutes fiddling with various safety measures consisting of the pepper spray he stealthily retrieved from my purse, the bedroom door’s lock and an air horn that he remarkably pulled out of his coat’s pocket. Although it was questionable if the blaring sound would awaken even my closest neighbours due to the sheer distance between our houses, I didn’t dare attempt after imagining old Sangmin marching over here on his rickety cane to bark my ears off.
Refusing to bother expending effort on pondering over the rationale behind Hoseok’s little magic trick, I blithely shooed him out before any more ridiculous objects could be plucked out of his jacket.
The last straw was his finger approaching the sensitive button on said air horn. Unwilling to face the consequences of his brash actions, I slammed the front door closed behind Hoseok, the space suddenly void of his rowdy antics. I wearily blinked the drowsiness out of my eyes, the stillness and tranquility of the early hours slowed my heart rate from the fast paced, action packed night.
My sock-clad feed padded their way back to the bedroom, snatching my phone out of my black hoodie to fiddle around with an app that I discovered upon moving out. In order to relay my continued existence to my family, I scheduled texts to be sent every week, which would prove useful at this time as well. Knowing my own forgetful nature, one update to Hoseok would slip my mind, and either four, furious men would burst through every available entrance or I would have the whole police force upon my front steps in minutes.
To prevent such a disastrous event from taking place, I tampered around with the settings and added the fretting male to the list.
I halted in my tracks when faced with the mundane sight of the four walls where I spent most of my sleeping hours, not a hair out of place other than the addition of the injured hybrid on my dirtied bed. The crimson stains jolted me into action, retrieving my brand new first-aid kit and finding it hilariously ironic that the dressings were going to be used on the very same criminal that broke in to steal such supplies.
In order to fight off any cold that could have possibly slithered its way past the weak barrier draped over his body, I peeled the flimsy, sodden cover off and replaced it with a puffy comforter. Traversing through the storm that continued to rage outside definitely put a strain on his already weakened state, and his pale countenance wasn't very reassuring.
I slid the blanket down to access the sullied wound at his rib cage and grabbed a couple pads of gauze to firmly press onto the area. Thankfully, some blood had already begun to coagulate around the edges, so I didn’t have to wait too long for the trickling stream to cease. With a clean towel, I wiped the surrounding skin to get a better look at what I was dealing with, grimacing at the bruises forming galaxies across the jagged edges of ripped skin.
He was in worse shape than either Hoseok or I could have predicted. At this realization, the fleeting worry that he might succumb to the severity of his wounds grew, festering a nasty doubt in my mind.
Deciding whether to clean the laceration commenced another strife within the whirlwind of emotions inside my head, but I poured a few drops of antiseptic onto a cotton ball anyway, fearful of infection. As I tried my best to carefully dab the soaked material across his wounds, I peered up at his face to search for signs of consciousness.
My eyes involuntarily softened at the small cuts littered across his neck, travelling past his jaw and over the slopes of his hollowed cheeks to his forehead, which was partially hidden under his dark locks. When the cotton was thoroughly besmirched with a blend of bright crimson and a muddy brown, I drenched another and advanced up to other regions after the more serious lesions were taken care of.
A closer look at his sinewy torso allowed me to examine the scars scattered all around, mostly clustered around his upper arms. Absentmindedly, I wondered whether their appearances were linked to the cruel methods of the laboratory. How had he gotten within their clutches in the first place? For how long was he suffering under the justification of being an experiment?
What were they trying to accomplish with him?
My mind raced with all the different possibilities of what could have brought the hybrid into this situation in the first place, and before I knew it, I was pushing back the disheveled strands on his forehead to clean the last of his cuts. There were definitely more on his dorsal side, but I wasn’t willing to undo his restraints and flip his hefty weight over on my own. I would either wait until he woke up or ask Hoseok to stop by again after his shift.
In my current position, I was close enough to feel his warm breath fanning across my skin, observe the tiny brown mole under his lip and how utterly breathtaking this man was underneath the cuts that marred his skin. He was undoubtedly attractive at first glance, although I wasn’t able to appreciate his masculine features while under the stress of saving him.
Once every laceration in my reach had been disinfected to the best of my limited abilities, I swiftly bandaged his side again and stuck Spider-man themed band aids onto the smaller cuts in memory of the Hello Kitty ones that decorated his body earlier. I settled back on the chair, admiring my handiwork and fighting back the looming threat of dormancy that approached with every elongated blink. My head leaned back as I crossed my arms, thinking that a little snooze never hurt anyone.
I was blind to the cocoa orbs drinking in the darkness.
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The bright light streaming in through the numerous cracks between my blinds prodded my eyelids apart, pupils struggling to adjust past the groggy haze of an unexpected slumber. Rather than revelling in the bountiful energy supplied by a restorative nap, an obnoxious cramp in my neck made its presence known alongside the bleak, obstinate tingle of dormancy that lingered within every tightened tendon, pulsating throughout my entire body.
Although the pain gradually ebbed away after I rolled my head around in wide semicircles, I knew from experience that the ache of sleeping in an uncomfortable position would linger.
Gold streaks were painted on the hardwood floor as a result of the sun’s harsh rays, a stark contrast to the dusk of a few hours ago. As I began to fuzzily recollect the memories from yesterday, I spotted the growing number of discrepancies between the room I’d seen before I closed my eyes and now, from the open door to the ruffled sheets, devoid of any sign of life.  
Fortunately, I seemed to be in the same position, seated on the tough chair that I snoozed off in a few hours ago. However, I found it odd that it was particularly difficult to do much else than squirm around, and that was when I realized the problem lied in the nylon material tied around my wrists and ankles, binding me to the furniture.
A cold dread washed over me, much like a freezing bucket of ice being poured over my head. The hybrid escaped.
Well, at least he didn’t exact his fallacious revenge on my sleeping form.
“Awake?”
I squeaked at the whiplash that followed the movement of my head twisting a second too quickly, intent on identifying the furtive speaker. My eyes widened exponentially at locating the muscular hybrid, black ears twitching at my cry and tail swishing in curiosity. Being clad in only boxers, I shifted my gaze away out of instinct, a fiery blush overtaking my features despite having ogled the man’s ripped physique before.
It felt completely different when he was unconscious and my only intent was to treat his multitudinous wounds though.
He slowly blinked, clearly finding my astonishment puzzling with the bewilderment laced in his orbs. Waving a large palm in front of my face to get my attention on him, he calmly said, “No hurt.”
The tight rope that currently hindered my motion was definitely the same one that had been previously occupied with restraining the hybrid to the bed. Yet the very same male stood in front of me, free as a bird. “H-how did you get out?”
Instead of answering verbally, he extended his defined arms out to the side, imitating the position he was tied up in, then robustly swinging both limbs towards one another. So he broke through those thick, durable ropes with sheer strength and willpower. Comforting.
The tranquilizers laid scattered across the floor, much too far to even consider reaching them.
“Where’s your blanket?” I questioned, suppressing the tremor in my voice as I found it outrageous that my throat was still intact at this point. There was no guarantee that he wasn’t harbouring any motives to rid the world of my presence, but the fact that he wasn’t actively making any moves to rip my heart out was a good sign.
The mop of dark chestnut swayed along in the same direction that he tilted his head over to; a habit revealing an emotion that I couldn’t place on the stranger. “Warm. No like.”
His broken English revived a flurry of trepidation. I recalled the night of the break-in, the terror and hysteria that I’d buried away under the incorrect pretense that a burglar never hits the same house twice.
I didn’t know if that sentiment applied to kidnapping the criminal and using your place as his hideout, as well.
As I noisily gulped, I felt his stare dart to my esophagus and in a wild panic, my wide eyes met the doe-like curve of his own. The hybrid edged closer to my trembling form before treading past me, out of sight. I closed my eyes in preparation.
This is it. Goodbye world, it was pretty shit while it lasted.
I heard the rustling of fabric behind me and silently applauded the man for thinking of a quick and easy suffocation to reduce the amount of clean up afterwards.
His bare feet slapped against the floor, trekking over to my front again. When a couple seconds passed and none of my airways were blocked nor was there any piercing pain to be felt, I cautiously cracked an eye open to see the stranger standing there, the puffy blanket from before wrapped around his broad shoulders.
“Good now?” he inquired with a bunny-like smile.
My jaw dropped slightly as I nodded, attempting to formulate a sentence but coming up empty. The stark contrast between the brawn enveloping his body and his innocent features threw me in for a loop. This must have been part of his grand scheme to ruthlessly murder me—lulling me into a false sense of security before executing me on the spot.
Outwardly, the hybrid appeared to possess more human features than his animal counterpart, leading me to wonder which instincts ruled over the other. Was he more level-headed and rational or was he unable to suppress his bestial instincts? Did he get sudden, violent mood swings or go on occasional, bloodthirsty rampages?
The lack of knowledge I had regarding the man, who had somehow gained the upper hand through his brute strength, was worrying. A tinge of regret for not skimming through a few files on said hybrid before Hoseok’s arrival made me softly curse under my breath.
As I shifted in place, I was reminded of my own predicament. “So, uh, any chance you’ll let me go?”
With his broad grin still on full display, he made his refusal clear by shaking his head back and forth. It was worth a try. “Not fair. I tied, now you tied.”
His childish logic caught me off guard and a bark of laughter shook my stiff shoulders, marginally relaxing at the prospect that he might postpone the bloodshed for a later time. The mystery laid in how he could distinguish my harmless intentions from the head researchers’ diabolical ones. Maybe it was the lab coat?
I made a mental note to never wear my own lab coat in front of him.
A grumble snapped me out of my reverie. I observed the stranger’s startled features as he glanced down at his abdomen, then, unabashedly, back up to my face. Recalling his screams of horror back at the lab, the barbaric treatment he received there was indisputable and based on his raging stomach, I guessed that it had been a while since he’d eaten anything of substance.
Of all times, Hoseok’s ridiculous words of the hybrid’s diet consisting of human grade meat played back through my brain and jitters erupted over my limbs, wanting to please the man before he was picking his teeth with my freshly cleaned bones.
“Hungry?” I prodded, pushing other priorities to the side in favour of feeding the rumbling beast.
His dark orbs immediately lit up with pure, unadulterated glee. The hybrid gracefully tied the ends of the fabric around his neck like a cape and rounded closer to me with mirth written across every crease on his countenance.
Unsure if his giddiness was attributed to the assumption that I was offering up the meat lining my organs, I squirmed in protest, attempting to cause a ruckus in order to spur his excitement towards another source of protein in the fridge.
Not having much choice in the matter with my limited range of motion, I watched in worry as he scurried out of sight again. “Hey, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here and—”
Despite being prepared for his unpredictable nature, a yelp flew past my lips when I was effortlessly lifted into the air, chair and all. His forearms caged my thighs as he gripped the bottom of the seat, hot pants of air blowing onto the back of my neck from his position.
His elation was practically tangible as he flew past the open doorway and sped off through the foyer. He must have ventured deeper into the house while I was blissfully unaware, since his strides towards the kitchen were filled with nothing but confidence in every step.
Hastily, I spat out, “I’m not that delicious, trust me! My budget’s been pretty strict this month, so I’ve just been eating junk, and I don’t imagine that’ll taste very go—”
The force holding me upright loosened when we reached the fridge, permitting my feet to find the floor. “Dee-lee-shiz?” He tried to imitate, turning to point straight at me.
“No! No, no, not delicious.” I corrected, violently shaking my head.
His outstretched arm retracted to his side, staring like a hawk at my chin tipping towards the metal cooling box behind him, and I repeated, “Delicious.”
As he flung the door to the refrigerator open, nearly ripping it right off its hinges, he yelled, “Dee-lee-shiz!”
Utter fascination at the chilled temperature and the rather meager array of food etched onto his features, sending relief through my veins. I encouraged him to ravage the tenuous stock of food while simultaneously rejoicing at successfully having deterred him from eating me alive.
Packs of eggs, blueberries, condiments, and essentially anything within his reach was hauled out, forming a growing heap on the countertop. When a zucchini found its way into his grasp, he took one puzzled look before chomping down on one end. I wasn’t too sure how raw zucchini would taste when eaten as though it were a cucumber, but he seemed pleased enough to take another bite that resounded throughout the space with a loud crunch.
I reclined back into the stiff chair, content on observing the ravenous hybrid empty my fridge and taking an occasional nibble on snacks that piqued his interest. Although, his grab at the bundle of raw chicken was when I decided to voice my concerns. “Ah, that has to be cooked!” At another tilt of his head, I explained, “You could get sick if you don’t cook it.”
By his furrowed brows, I deduced the concept flew over his head, but he threw the package onto my lap anyway and peered down expectantly. “Cook.”
“You tied me up, remember? I need some mobility to cook.” I tugged at my subdued arms to demonstrate my current inaptitude.
He hummed in thought, enveloping his lower lip between his lengthy canines as he weighed the pros and cons of being able to consume the meat by setting me loose. Finally, after clearly expressing how torn he was between his hunger and his teasing, it seemed that he’d come to a conclusion when he latched onto my left forearm.
Just as I was about to jib that I was no longer on the menu, a searing pain ripped across my wrist. I hissed through my teeth with my fists clenched as I teared my tender arm out of his grip, protectively cradling the limb to my chest.
He flinched away from the sound, taking a step away from my defensive form. At the sight of my disgruntled frown, he withered into himself, chin to his chest while I examined my sore wrist, whimpering at the edges of the flaming red, torn skin. I was a second away from viciously reprimanding him for the bruise that was more than likely to form by tomorrow, but one look into his guilty, fearful eyes made me pause.
With his strength, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he possessed the ability to do much worse, which didn’t seem to be his intent from all the fretting—ears tucked into the crown of his head and tail hanging low. As he seemed to be repenting without a chiding needed on my end, I redirected to a softer approach. “It’s fine, just be more gentle next time, okay?”
“Mm,” he complied weakly, his prior enthusiasm having substantially deflated. Before I could dismiss the topic and entice him with more food, he knelt down to my ankles, gripping the rope with both hands this time as he effortlessly tore the material apart, careful not to graze my legs in the process.
A shiver crawled down my spine at the display of power, mentally noting that there was probably enough strength in his fingers to flick my stunned form across the room; yet the man proved his duality by proceeding to grab one loose end of his makeshift cape and gently tie it around my unscathed wrist. “No run.”
Surprisingly enough, I hadn’t made it a break for it as soon as I was liberated. Although I sustained minimal injuries, he expressed his remorse and made no moves to consume my flesh, which was another good sign. As more time passed, he was revealing to be more and more of a passionate bunny stuck in a wrestler’s body.
After all, I hadn’t gone through all the trouble of kidnapping him just to sprint at the slightest sign of trouble. I confirmed, “No run.”
Some of his original ardour reappeared at my acknowledgement, along with a faint giggle that evoked a tiny smile on my own face. I figured that with his minimal experience revolving around homemade dishes, simply slapping on some salt and pepper to flavour the meat with a side of boiled vegetables would suffice. Thus, I took the package from my lap and got to work.
Cooking with another, rather useless, individual essentially attached at the hip was difficult, to say the least. In the beginning, the man fired question after question, curious about every ingredient and spice going into the dish, but after realizing that he lacked the correct vocabulary to obtain the information he sought, he became a silent observer.
Basically, he followed me around like a lapdog while munching on another zucchini to occupy his restless hands.
After pulling him around left and right, occasionally giving a soft tug on the blanket when he would unintentionally zone out, I finally threw all the components into a single pan, deciding to serve a simple stir-fry. With only the expanse of the puffy fabric between us, I was constantly elbowing the hybrid while mixing the ingredients together, which I considered a redeeming form of payback for his carelessness with my arm.
While the mouth-watering scent of lunch wafted around, he extended the wrist connected to mine, sidestepping over to the island to fish for a bag of baby carrots before coming to stand next to me by the stove. Spotting my stare, he flashed another blinding grin and I couldn’t help but imagine long, bunny ears extending off the top of his head, his slender tail replaced with a fluffier ball of fur at the back. That seemed to better suit his ardent personality.
The chicken gradually changed colour as the exterior of the vegetables softened, and I brought the meal along with the chair by the fridge over to my tiny two-person table, prompting him to take a seat in front of the steaming plate. I expected him to ravenously dig in and devour every crumb, yet he refused to move a muscle, staring out the glass doors to the backyard and into the forest instead.
“I hurt.” He stumbled over his words, somberly bringing his gaze to my cocked brow. “No mean to hurt.”
Thinking back to the scuffle that seemed eons away at this point, I flashed a reassuring smile his way, explaining, “I get it, you were injured. Um, I was kind of mad at first because you broke my door and everything,” I offhandedly gestured towards the broken contraption, “but I forgive you.”
“No.” He clenched his jaw, analyzing the surface of the table as if the words he was searching for were etched on the surface. “Now. Sorry now, too.” To drive his point home, he delicately grabbed the arm not wrapped in the blanket, streaks of red decorating my wrist like a tight bracelet.
I hummed my understanding. “Ah, I told you it’s fine already,” I reassured, patting his hand.
Content at my acceptance of his makeshift apology, he began to dig into the chicken. His nose twitched at the unfamiliar taste, but he made no complaints. Anything was better than nothing, in the end.
I let him enjoy his food for a bit before asking, “Did you have a name? Something like J3?”
His eyes went back to scanning the outdoors, the sound of his chomping coming to an abrupt halt when he spotted a sad lump on the porch.
“Bud?” he inquired, the light glimmering in his irises.
The nickname stumped me, as I had difficulty imagining Hyunho or Minzy affectionately calling their experiment ‘bud’. “What are you talking about? Is that your name?”
His finger poked out to the cylindrical pile of tuna outside, then back to himself, “Bud.”
Befuddled now more than ever, I tried to laugh it off and nodded my head towards the plate again, silently advising him to continue eating.
Unfortunately, he didn’t seem too keen on evading the topic, whimpering in frustration at either my lack of understanding or his incapability of properly communicating due to the language barrier. His unending appetite was going to be put on hold for this. As he stood up, the chair behind him screeched, and he clutched on to the blanket, pulling me towards the back door.
Refusing to allow history to repeat itself, I rushed ahead to slide the hairband off and pushed the door open, allowing him to slip through. I figured that when the man drifted off to sleep tonight, I could replace the rapidly decaying tuna in hopes that my kitty would visit again.
While I was lost in thought, he undid the knot connecting the two of us and sprinted into the forest.
His back disappeared within the thickets fencing the towering maple trees and I froze in place, my jaw going slack in an ugly mixture of bafflement and betrayal, believing that he had simply taken advantage of my hospitality then ran off. Although, all attempts at making sense of the hybrid’s actions were cut short when familiar noises of horrifying, crackling sounds met my ears, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end.
When the underbrush twitched, leaves fluttering from the movement of an animal hidden within their cover, a sinking feeling entered my chest. And that was the moment I met the vibrant, emerald eyes that had dug their own space within my heart.
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elysicndrcvm · 3 years
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━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )
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     well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado: 
so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.
he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals. 
he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age. 
he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue. 
his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes. 
obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf. 
showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places. 
very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd. 
awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world. 
his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers. 
studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up. 
despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf. 
real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf. 
has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself. 
he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade. 
does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out. 
cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away. 
bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that. 
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woah-its-al · 5 years
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currently on s2 ep 15 i think
ok writers giving u a plus here nice job ACUALLY HIDING WHO THE VILLIAN OF s2 IS UNTILL THE MOMENT WE NEEDED TO KNOW. Also as soon as it was revealed we just had a matter if time before the star lab & co. found out. Now that everyone KNOWS about nasty-ass-fast-blu-man its time to get down and funky
1 having jay “fight” or “track down” fast-blue-man was a good throw off
1.5 hint at jay being zoom but its not in your face. He lost his speed using a form of V NOT from zoom.
2. prediction: Mr. blue lighting man HAS to be from future OR another earth; weather that means e1(earth1), e2, or even a new possiblility e3! im thinking/getting a vibe (finger guns) from another earth. Now Jay still fought zoom somehow? maybe? idk for sure
Now with this wack ass prediction i dont expect to be right but eh a guy can try right
now as for WHY I DIDNT LIKE THE WELLS/WHATEVER HIS LAST NAME WAS REVEAL
he stands after wheelchairing the dumbass
acts weird and mean around cait and cisco
only cares for barry a guy he “just met” and saved his(barry’s) life
he is creepyyyyy
it is heavily influenced that thwanc-nasty wanted barry to do something in the future ex: checking betrayer-gidion (or whtever that AI’s name was) seeing into the future to THAT newspaper. Freaky villain material am i right. Honestly the vibe(hA) i got from him was: this future obsested nastyman needs to go down!
the one thing i did like about the reveal was that we for cisco development out of it, aka vibes (victory poses for the comic releif man getting GOOD development). Cisco SEEING his death after barry timetravels we think of it as a coincidence that Cisco sees stuff, then badman thwookcf tells cisco “yo dude stop being pussy and tell everyone ur a meta bitch.”
now look back at both my lists, which one has more bullet points. SEE HOW MUCH LESS “forshadowing” (if you want to call it that) their is on jays side??? One key thing that doesnt make sense in Jay’s story, a multitude of things in thwooshccs’s.
i might add more to this later but man i want to get my feelings on this shows main villians out therep
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you-can-call-me-lex · 6 years
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Why is Being a Living Human Being so Difficult?
Ok, here we go...
So this is possibly my first ever blog post, and for it being my first, I feel like I have a lot to say. 
I guess I’ll begin with my title. Why is being a living human being so difficult? That is an actual question that I have for the world. Especially now, since I feel like all of this stuff is happening to me, I just have to ask why. Why is this happing to me? Why do I feel what I am currently feeling? How do I make it all go away and have everything turn back to normal?
I graduated High School not even a year and I hate how much I already miss it. I haven’t even turned a year older since I was in high school, but yet I feel like its been 10 and I wish I was a kid again. I’m going to be turning 19 in about a month (by the way my sisters birthday is tomorrow so Happy Birthday to her) and I am terrified for my life. Being 18 has been so difficult and my feet have barely touched the waters of adult hood. So I just know that being 19 is going to be a b*tch. I’m told many times to be positive but I hate that saying so much, I wish I could scream at everyone who says that to me, but I won’t because those people don’t deserve that.
The start of this year hasn't been good. The end of last year was pretty bad but nothing compared to now. This is my first year in college and so far it hasn't been great. If I was being honest, I feel like I am just paying to become stressed, like all the time. The first month of so of college was tough, mostly with class work and being away from my family. Now its even worse. Last semester I felt as if I wasn’t smart enough or good enough to be in college. I ended that semester with a 4.0. This semester, I know I’m not smart enough or good enough to be in college and I don't know what to do. I feel so confused all the time. In class, when I’m walking to class, when I’m doing work or studying, literally everyday and everywhere I feel so confused. The worst part about of all of this is that I don’t know who to talk to about all of this. I have been avoiding making friends because I don't want anyone to interfere with my schedule. I have a strict schedule because I kind have to study or do work every waking hour. Anyway, yeah so Ive avoided friendship and over all relationships. 
But you know what the worst part of all of this is? How much being confused could potentially cost my family. Being in college has cost my family thousands of dollars and I hate myself SO much for doing that to them. Mostly because I don't feel as if I deserve to have this oppurtunity. 
Im taking science courses this semester and I fucking hate it so much. I hate them for multiple reasons but what I hate the most is how much I fucking hate them. Like this is my future, this is what I am studying to become, so why do I hate the courses that I will taking for the next four years? So that is why I feel confused because I don't know if what I am aiming to become is meant for me and that breaks my heart, especially because so many people have supported this dream of mine. 
Monday and Wednesday are my worst days because they are my longest days. Friday is a bit better because my classes end early but my best days are Tuesdays and Thursday. On those days I have chemistry lab in the morning, which kind of sucks and Chemistry recitation class in the afternoon. Except from 4:30 to 5:30 I have a world history class and it is the best thing about my week. I fucking love history but I rarely seem to get a good course, especially now since this might be the only history class that I will ever take my four years here. I love the subject and I rarely get the chance to have an amazing teacher too. My world history teacher is fucking amazing. He is passionate about what he's teaching and I love it. He is also super easy to talk to because he’s type young and he just gets it. I also believe that another reason that I like my professor so much is because during out first ever class, he said that his boss had him teacher a freshman course because they would feel more comfortable with him because they would essentially get like high school teacher vibes from him. They were right I sort of did, but not so much as a high school teacher, (maybe a little bit of one teacher) but he mostly reminded me of my high school guidance consular. I was really close to my guidance consular and it was hard, and to be quite honest it still is kind of hard not having him around so much. He helped me a lot and he was one of the first adults or teachers that I had ever had a good relationship with and he's also on of the reasons I miss high school so much. 
I also hate being away from my family. My family is the most important thing to me, and not being with them especially now, hurts like hell. Right now my family is in a pretty big pickle. I don’t know how we got here because we honestly don’t deserve it. Every time I told a close friend of mine what had been going on, they were just as shocked to know that it was MY family who this was happening to. So anyway, it sucks not being with everyone because I’m kind of out of the loop. If something is going on back home, no one tells me because they don't want me to worry about anything because they want me to focus on my school work. Which I get, and I appreciate them worrying about me like that but I fucking hate it. Now all I can think about is what else they could be hiding from me in order to “protect me.” The last news I had received shredded my heart and I was a week or two late to get it. Its like every time something is held from me and is finally given to me, it gets worst every time. I’ve had a break down every time I received some news. The most recent one was the worst one, and the hardest most painful breakdown of them all. I cried all day, I starting getting panic attacks I couldn't breath I was screaming while my sister was on the phone because I was so mad/sad. I couldn't sleep because my chest hurt so much, it literally felt like my heart was shattering inside me or being ripped out of me. I cried and begged for the pain to go away, I begged for everything to go away. 
When I got home it wasn't easy, nothing was the same everything was so different I almost couldn't recognize it. I held myself together well during my stay, but it wasn't how I wanted to spend it. Before I was given the news I was excited about the weekend because I knew I could finally come home for longer than usual and I would be able to spend some quality time with the family. Sadly, it wasn't exactly as planned but it was still okay. However, the longer I stayed the more I was beginning to want to leave. Every time anyone spoke of the situation I stared to feel this massive guilt because I felt as if I was a part of the problem. Not because I caused anything, no, but because I wasn't helping and in fact I was making matters worst. Its hard to explain, it really is.
On the car way back to school, I just kept thinking about how much I wanted to run away. Everything that I was feeling was just to much for me to handle it was honestly so painful that I just can't take it anymore. I want to run away from school because the feeling of being confused is driving me insane because I don't know what to do about it. I also want to run away from everything else so that my parents don't have to worry about me anymore or how to pay for my future because I hate feeling the way I feel every time I ask them to pay for the bill because I don't want them to because I feel like they don't deserve to have to do this for me. I also want to run away from everything because my current family situation is so painful I don't know how to handle my feelings about it, and I just feel like I am just making matters worse.
I just want to run, run so far away but I know I can't and I know I shouldn't. I just wish being alive didn't have to cost so much, but on the other hand, being dead isn't so cheap either. 
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