#which is fair its one of their best songs but i wonder still about the runners up!

[omentoo]

#skz #im gen curious about this 🤔 #tho tbh ttath will probably win lmao #which is fair its one of their best songs but i wonder still about the runners up! #pls rb if u can & want :) #just for funsies #polls #15lix.txt #15lix.polls

[atlabeth]

geyser

series masterlist

pairing: luke castellan x daughter of poseidon!reader

summary: percy learns about the first girl luke castellan ever loved.

a/n: this is a lil sad. sorry about that. but i really like it and it came out of nowhere in like 2 days so i hope you enjoy despite the sadness. title from the mitski song

wc: 6.5k

warning(s): major character death; not shown but hangs over the whole fic. angst made angstier by fluffy flashbacks. mostly told through percy’s pov but includes luke, annabeth, and reader povs

also if you saw this before on another account DONT WORRY... that account was also me. im just doing some stuff behind the scenes right now as i figure stuff out lol i promise no plagiarism is going on

Percy thought that his head might explode. 

He didn’t know how he was still walking, honestly. His mom died, he killed a— no, the— Minotaur, all the Greek myths were real and his dad was one of them, and now he had to deal with that freak accident with Clarisse and the toilets. 

At least he would be ready next time she tried to beat him up. Percy had been the new kid enough to know there would be a next time.

All he could do was stare at the Minotaur horn in his hands, the only sign that what happened outside the border was real. The horn in his hands and the hole in his heart. 

Percy swallowed the lump in his throat. He’d been thrown into the deep end, and the only thing on his mind was when he would start to drown. 

“Hey.” Percy looked up to see the counselor he’d met earlier with Annabeth—Luke. He tossed a ziploc bag at him and he caught it, taking a moment to look at what was in it. 

“I stole you some toiletries from the camp store,” he explained. “Thought it might make you feel more at home.” 

“…Thanks.” He didn’t know if Luke was joking, but the damage had already been done. And it was the nicest thing someone had done for him so far. He set it down next to his Minotaur shoebox. “Is this the best that it gets?” 

Luke’s lips quirked up in a slight smile. “For now. We’re a little crowded, if you couldn’t tell.” 

“Just a little bit.” Percy stood up from his sleeping bag and worked out the knot in his shoulder. “Where’s your bed? Assuming you have one.” 

“I couldn’t wrangle all these cats without some back support,” he said, and he pointed to a bed in the corner. It was the only one on its own without a bunk, and he had a fair amount of decorations. Counselor privileges, he figured. Percy walked over, Luke trailing behind him. 

“Nice place,” he said. Percy picked up the Yankee’s cap on his bedside table and nodded as he looked back at him. “Nice taste.” 

“It’s for Annabeth,” Luke said. “She wanted us to match.” 

Percy nodded again in approval. “Good taste for both of you.”

Luke had various other things around — an alarm clock knocked over next to the baseball cap, a huskie sticker on the wall half-scraped off, a poster for an album he didn’t recognize. 

But the thing that caught his eye was a polaroid hanging on the wall, surrounded by a smattering of others varying in size. 

The first one had to be an old picture—Luke didn’t have his scar, and the biggest smile stretched across his face. He had a girl close with an arm slung around her waist, and she might’ve been smiling even more than Luke. A bright energy emanated around her, something that must have transferred through the picture, because Percy found himself feeling a little better just looking at her. He wondered if she was a camper. 

His eyes flicked to the next picture, which was another one of Luke and that girl. They were both laughing as she tried to put a blue hat on Luke’s head, and he protested with a hand on her wrist. They were in the forefront of a baseball game, Percy noticed.

There were other pictures, too—Luke, a girl dressed all punk, and what looked like a young version of Annabeth, most notably—but a majority of them were either Luke and that girl, or the girl all on her own. In every single one, she beamed brighter than the sun. 

Percy pointed at the picture of Luke and the girl at the baseball game, his curiosity getting the better of him. “Who’s that?”

That seemed to catch Luke off-guard, his lips parting for a moment as if he wanted to say something. It barely took him any time to get back on track, but Percy found himself frowning. 

“That’s…” Luke cleared his throat, wet his lips, shook his head. “A friend. A very good friend.”

“Does she go here?” Percy asked. 

“She did.” 

He frowned. “Where is she, then?” 

“Percy—” Luke’s voice was strained, but he didn’t really notice as he went on. 

“I didn’t see her around,” he continued, “and you look pretty close.” 

Luke blinked a couple times, and Percy swore he could see the telltale glimmer of tears starting in his eyes. A muscle worked in his jaw, and suddenly Percy was worried that he’d said something horribly wrong. He had a talent for that, it seemed. 

Fortunately, he was saved by the bell—conch shell?—and something like relief flooded through Luke’s expression. Tension still coiled in his body. 

“Come on,” he said, that camp counselor smile coming back as he put his hand on Percy’s shoulder and guided him away from the enclave. “That means dinner’s about to start.”

Percy’s frown deepened as curiosity won out again. “Was she your—”

“You don’t wanna be late,” Luke continued, ignoring his attempt. “I assume you’re pretty hungry after two days spent out?”

Well, that only made him want to push harder. But Percy figured he wouldn’t get anything out of him—especially not now. 

“…Yeah,” Percy said. “Starving.”

An odd look flickered across his face, but again, it only lasted for a second before he was back to normal. He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, “Eleven! Fall in!” 

Percy was at the back of the line by virtue of him being the new kid, and he found himself looking back at that picture of Luke and the girl. He didn’t know why, but something drew him to her. Before Percy could think about it more, the line was moving and his growling stomach drew his attention away. 

He would have plenty of time to ask Luke about it later. 

Or rather, ask him and piss off the only person who’d tried to be his friend so far. 

…Gods. 

Maybe he was going to drown sooner than he thought. 

-

“Luke—” 

“No!” 

“Luke, please!” 

“Annabeth will kill me if she knows—” 

“She won’t know!” 

“Alright, alright— stay still, you two!” 

Your mother laughed from behind the camera as you and Luke fought with each other, you trying your damnedest to get your Red Sox cap on his head as he tried his damnedest to stop you. The frantic laughter on both sides made it a little difficult for either of you to succeed in your quest, but eventually, you got the rock up the hill and the hat on his head. 

“Take the picture, Mom!” you exclaimed, pulling Luke even closer by his arms so he couldn’t get it off. “I need the proof!” 

“I knew this was a bad idea,” Luke groaned, staring at the camera as you wrapped your arm around his side and leaned into him. He could already imagine your victorious smile, brighter than the sun beating down on them in the stadium, and just the thought of it made one of his own flit across his lips. 

“Oh, shut up, Castellan,” you said. “You chose to come to this game. Everyone’s gonna know you’re a Red Sox fan now.”

“You said you wouldn’t tell her!” Luke defended, wrenching his arms free of your control to take the hat off his head. “I don’t even care about baseball!” 

“You care so much about it,” you said cloyingly, “and you’re ride or die for the Boston Red Sox.” 

“If you say a single word—” 

“Okay, kids!” Your mother pointed at the seats next to her. “The game’s about to start—you can keep arguing, but only if you sit down so I can see.” 

“Sorry, Mom.” You grinned at her as you pulled Luke over to your seats—they were a step up from nosebleeds, but they were the ones closest to the balcony so you could at least peer over the railing down to the diamond.

“It’s alright, sweetheart.” She glanced at Luke with a smile, and he could really see where you got it from. “We’ve gotta make him a fan somehow.” 

“I guess I can live with the brand.” Luke set the cap back on your head once you were seated, purposefully pulling the brim a little over your eyes, and he smiled at you. “Even though it looks better on you, anyways.” 

“You just don’t have what it takes to be a Red Sox fan in the heart of Yank territory,” you mused, pushing the hat back up so you could see. “It’s fine.” 

Luke rolled his eyes, but he could hardly bite back his smile. 

“I am glad you came, though,” you said, glancing back at him. “I’m glad you came with me in the first place. This is gonna be the best semester.”

“Thanks for having me,” Luke said. “It’s… it’s been a while since I’ve left camp.” 

“Fingers crossed for no monster attacks, eh?” You held up your hand. “At least, not during the game. I could live with it happening any other time.” 

“Don’t speak it into existence,” your mom said. “We’re going to have a monster-free school year.” 

To humor her, you made a claw over your heart and pushed out. She hummed in satisfaction, and you looked over at Luke. “It’s gonna be fine.” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Because two kids like us aren’t gonna draw any attention.” 

“Oh, I know we will,” you said. “But I know it’ll be fine.” 

Luke frowned. “How can you be so sure?” 

You shrugged with a smile. “I’ve got you.”

And in that moment, he was thankful for the freakish heat that honestly made no sense in the spring—at least it covered up any sign of what your words did to him. 

Luke thought you were joking when you asked him if he wanted to come back home with you for the school year. He didn’t know why you wanted to go back in the first place, being a Big Three kid that apparently had a death wish, but the thought of him leaving camp was almost inconceivable. 

Even after you assured him you weren’t joking, he still wasn’t sure. He was on the run with you for three years, then… 

Well, he couldn’t think about it for too long. But Luke had been on the outskirts of regular society for so long, doing nothing but fighting for his life, that he didn’t know if he could actually function at a normal school.

But it felt right for you two to get some normal time together after you were separated for so long. It took him a semester to decide, but one day during your usual Iris message conversations, he told you he’d love to spend the rest of the year in Boston with you. Luke still remembered the grin you wore, your disbelieving but victorious cheers, the apology you yelled back at your mother for your noise. 

Luke watched you as you talked with your mom, discussing Boston’s chances and player statistics and baseball jargon he didn’t think he’d ever understand, and he knew he would sit through a thousand Red Sox games if it meant he would get to keep seeing your smile.

You must have felt his eyes on you, because you glanced over at him. “Are you okay?” 

Luke smiled. Gods, he was so glad you were here. 

“Never better.” 

-

“That one nearly got me,” Luke said. 

Percy huffed as he picked up his sword from the ground—he was pretty sure he would officially lose his mind if Luke disarmed him with that stupid move one more time. One benefit to the Hermes cabin being too scared to associate with him after getting claimed was that he wasn’t making a fool out of himself in front of other people. 

“Maybe I can only beat you when I pour water on myself,” he said. 

Luke chuckled as he took a bottle from the cooler on the side and held it up. “Wanna try?” 

He shook his head. “I think my arms will fall off if I keep going with you.” 

He tipped his shoulder. “Fair.” 

Percy stared at the ground as Luke gathered himself, trying to put the free range thoughts roaming around his head in order. It didn’t help that he’d gained a million questions after Poseidon claimed him, and it didn’t help that there’s been a newest addition to his dream last night. 

He still felt strange asking Luke about it, but he had to know more about her. Percy didn’t know why it felt like his mission to find out who this mysterious girl was, or why he felt that strange connection to her. Maybe it was the way Luke acted whenever he brought her up, maybe it was that she’d popped up in his dream next to him at the very end, maybe it was just plain old curiosity. 

“I’m not supposed to be alive,” Percy said, breaking the silence. “I could die at any time in a bunch of different horrible ways. So will you tell me more about that girl on your wall?”  

Again, Luke seemed to be caught off guard by it. Percy heard the crunch of plastic as his hand clenched ever so slightly around the bottle, and he tried to cover it up with an arched eyebrow. “Why do you want to know so badly?” 

He shrugged. What was he supposed to say? 

“I’m curious,” he decided. 

Luke huffed a dry laugh before he took a sip of water, and he stared off into the distance for a while. He did a lot of staring whenever this girl was brought up. They looked like they were best friends in those pictures, but maybe whatever they had ended badly. And if she was a demigod too…

Well, it would make sense why he didn’t want to talk about her. 

“You know that phrase about curiosity?” Luke asked. 

“And how it killed the cat?” 

He nodded, drinking some more. “It goes double for demigods.” 

“Everything else wants to kill me,” Percy said. “So curiosity’s gonna have to get in line.” 

Luke’s laugh was a little more genuine this time, and he shook his head. “I guess I can tell you a little about her. You actually probably have a right to know.” 

“Is she a half-blood?” Percy asked immediately. 

He nodded. “Yeah.” 

“Who’s her parent?” 

Luke capped his water bottle and looked at Percy for a good, long moment. His face glowed in the warm afternoon sun, his scar cast in a softer light than usual. The scar used to unnerve him, but he’d gotten used to it after weeks staring at it during sword fighting. 

“She was a child of Poseidon, Percy,” he said. “Just like you.” 

Percy felt short of breath, like Luke had just knocked his sword out of his hand and shoved him to the ground. But he stood on his own two legs that somehow still worked, and Luke hadn’t moved. 

He had a sister? 

“I have a sister?” 

“…Had,” Luke corrected. “She… she died a few years back.” 

A vice latched onto Percy’s heart. He was still having a hard time breathing. No wonder Luke always used past tense when he was talking about her. 

He had a sister, he wasn’t alone, but he was because she was dead. And if Luke was one of her friends, that meant she died young. 

Gods. 

“What about their oath?” Percy asked, trying to ignore the aching in his chest. “I’m already on thin ice for my whole existing thing. How did Poseidon get away with two kids so close to each other?” 

Luke shrugged. “I’ve never known why gods do things. Her mother was a great woman, though—I could see what drew Poseidon to her against the oath.” 

One half of Percy wanted to ask every question that kept popping into his head. The other side of him wanted to break down and cry. 

“How did you meet her?” 

“We ran into each other when we were both young,” he said. “Both child runaways, both demigods, both New Englanders—we decided to rough it out on the road together. Couldn’t be any worse than doing it on our own.”

Percy tried to imagine it. A young Luke and a younger version of that girl—maybe Percy’s age—living together in the wilderness and fighting monsters. Surviving off of nothing but their wit and skill, facing death each day before they’d even reached middle school. 

“It… it didn’t happen then, did it?” he asked hesitantly. 

Luke shook his head. “Couple years later. All we did was watch each other’s backs out there.” 

Percy couldn’t help himself. “What happened to her?”  

“The same thing that happens to everyone,” Luke said flatly. “There’s a reason I’m the oldest one here.” 

“That doesn’t make it better,” Percy insisted. “It— it makes it worse, Luke. You see that, right?”  

Luke stared at his empty water bottle then tossed it back into the cooler. When his gaze met Percy’s, he was shocked by how… tired he looked. Beyond exhausted—bone-weary. Percy wanted to say more, but he didn’t get the chance. 

“This isn’t good conversation,” Luke said, “and it’s getting late. You should hit the showers before dinner.” 

The sun still beat down on them, bright and angry in the sky, but Percy provided no argument. He had a lot to think about. 

Before they went their separate ways, Percy stopped and looked back at him. “I’m sorry she’s gone, Luke.” 

Luke’s gaze went unfocused for a moment, his eyes growing glossy. “So am I.” 

-

Percy sat on the floor of the Hermes cabin in the corner that used to be his, staring at his meager belongings. He had to decide what to take on his quest, which was made easier by the fact that he hardly had anything to his name. Things could always be worse, though. At least he would have a change of clothes. 

He should’ve been doing this in his own cabin, but it felt too empty, too suffocating in its silence. Eleven was still more familiar. He heard the door open and saw Luke walk in, and his eyes lit up when he saw Percy. 

“Hey,” he said. “I wanted to see you before you left. How’re you feeling pre-quest?” 

“Like the world’s about to end,” he said. 

Luke’s lips twitched into a smile as he sat on the bed across from Percy. “Understandable. It kinda is.” 

“It’s just overwhelming.” Percy shoved the unfolded clothes into his backpack. “I have to clear mine and my dad’s names and get Zeus’s bolt back, or else war will start. No pressure at all.” 

“You were chosen for a reason,” Luke said. “You may not see it, Percy, but you’ve improved a lot since you got here. If anyone can do this, I think it’s you.” 

Percy looked up at him, and he was reminded of the way their last conversation went. He was asking before he could really stop himself. 

“I could die on this quest and never see you again,” Percy said. “So could you tell me more about my sister before I go?”  

Luke smiled wistfully and sighed. “You really won’t let this go, will you?” 

“It’s not really something you just let go,” he said. “Besides, I… I saw her in my dream last night.” 

Luke’s smile faded. “You did?”  

Percy nodded. “For a split second, but I know it was her. I felt the same way I did whenever I looked at her pictures. And… it’s the second time she’s shown up.” 

He let out a long sigh and shook his head, his gaze trailing off to the wall. He always looked so much older when he talked about this girl, like he was a war veteran reminiscing on his lost love. And from what he’d gathered, it might not have been too far off. 

“I told you we ran together when we were young,” he said, and Percy nodded. “We were both nine, and it should’ve been terrible, but she had a way of making everything better. Always found the bright side of things, was always able to make me laugh.” 

“She was from Massachusetts—right in the middle of Boston.” Luke chuckled as he looked at Percy. “Huge Red Sox fan.” 

Percy grimaced. “We all make mistakes.” 

Luke smiled, though it faded a bit. “We got separated for a while, but we found each other again when I got to camp. Things were more peaceful than they are now, so she’d been claimed at camp pretty quickly. I figure Poseidon wanted her to have the protection of him openly standing behind her after what happened.” 

He frowned. “What do you mean, ‘what happened’?” 

Luke shook his head. “That would be an awful story to send you off on.” 

Percy wanted to protest, but he didn’t. Luke was probably right—Percy didn’t want to make him relive it and then have to go on a death quest right after.

“A happier part, then,” he suggested.

“She ran away from home as a kid to protect her mom, but now that she had an idea of what she was doing, she started going back to school. She invited me to stay with her during the school year one year, and I accepted. That—” Luke’s throat bobbed, and the other hand clenched into a fist— “that was when she died.” 

In his stunned silence, Luke got up and went over to his alcove. He pulled the drawer open on his bedside table and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. It must’ve been folded and crumpled a million other times in messier ways by all the creases he could see, but when Luke opened it, he could see handwriting all over the front. 

A letter. 

“We Iris messaged each other constantly while she was at school,” he said, “and we wrote back and forth when we couldn’t. This was the last letter she sent me.” 

Percy’s first instinct was to say he wouldn’t be able to read it, but he realized that he didn’t really care. These were words that his sister wrote—he would sit here the rest of the day forcing sentences to make sense if that was what it took. 

So he took the letter when Luke offered it. 

To the one and only Luke Castellan, 

My mom said yes! After a very long interrogation (she now knows basically everything about you) and a million promises that you would be as careful as possible and that you were good enough at sword fighting to take down anything that could come after us, she said you can spend the year here. We spent a couple hours every day making my mom’s study into a guest room, so you have a place to stay.

I’m an idiot that didn’t bring enough drachmas so that’s why I have to send this letter—hopefully it gets to you soon enough, because we’re gonna come get you a week before my winter break is over. Mom is letting me drive down because she says I have to get my permit soon. It makes sense that my first big test is getting to you. If we don’t make it, it’s because we died in a fiery crash. 

Just kidding. I’m a great driver. But tell me some of your favorite songs when you reply and I’ll burn a CD for the ride—I figured out how to use LimeWire. Oh, and throw in a couple drachmas with the envelope so I can Iris message you next time. I miss your face and your voice, and my hand is cramping up writing all of this. 

But this is so exciting! I can’t wait to introduce you to all my friends at school, and show you my favorite places in the city, and make you into a Red Sox fan. And you can come to my soccer games— I’m the greatest forward there is. 

Jokes aside, I’m going to make sure you have the best time. We’ll spend every second together, Luke. We’re gonna make up for the time we lost. 

I can’t wait to see you again.

Your hurricane.  

It took Percy a long time to get through it with the words swimming all over, and it didn’t help that his vision had grown blurry. 

Tears, he realized as he blinked, and he did it again to make sure they wouldn’t fall. He couldn’t cry in front of Luke, not over a girl he didn’t even know—even if she was his sister. But maybe he was grieving that—the fact that he would never get to know her. 

“God, man. I— I’m sorry.” Percy couldn’t think of anything else to say. “She sounds like she was great.” 

Luke couldn’t even manage a smile this time as he stared at the wall. Percy was surprised he could even talk to him about it. 

“She was,” he murmured. “You would’ve liked her. And gods,” this time, a bit of a smile broke through despite it all, “she would have loved a little brother.” 

“I’m gonna make her proud on this quest,” Percy vowed. “I’m gonna clear our dad’s name for her.”

Something in Luke’s gaze had changed—sadness, almost regret. “You’re a good kid, Percy. I hope your quest doesn’t change that.” 

I hope I come back alive, he wanted to say. But given the topic matter, he didn’t. Percy carefully folded the letter back up and handed it to Luke. 

“Thank you for telling me about her, man,” Percy said. “I… I know it can’t be easy.”

Luke let out a shuddering breath as he stared at the closed letter—Percy wondered how many times he must have sat in this same position, reading her words. “No better way to honor her memory than helping her brother.” He glanced at Percy. “I see a lot of her in you.” 

He’d been wondering if he had anything in common with her. Percy felt a sudden flare of anger shoot through him—it wasn’t fair that she was dead. Poseidon was a god, and she was a teenager. He should have saved her. 

Percy’s mouth was drier than a desert. A part of him wanted to curl up in a ball and sob over the sister he never got the chance to know, but the other part of him knew—from what little Luke had told him about her—that she wouldn’t want him to. 

“I should get going,” Percy said, standing up from the floor. “We have to leave for the quest soon, and Annabeth and Grover are probably wondering where I am, and…” 

Percy trailed off, and Luke nodded in understanding. He turned around and took one of the photos off the wall—one of you alone in the middle of a park, wearing a bucket hat and absolutely beaming. 

“You deserve to have a part of her with you,” he said. “For good luck.” 

He felt himself choking up, and he pushed it down as he accepted the photo. “Thanks, man. It means a lot.”

“Good luck, Percy,” Luke said. “You’ve got a lot of people rooting for you.”

Percy found himself studying the picture of you once he made it outside, trying to memorize your face. With your wide, infectious smile that emanated pure sunlight, he could have mistaken you for an Apollo kid. But when he looked at you, he got that same warmth that he felt every time he imagined his father. 

“I won’t let you down,” he murmured. “I promise.” 

-

After sleeping in his train seat for half the day, Percy vowed to never complain about his bed in Cabin Three again. He was gonna be going down to the Underworld with permanent cricks in his neck. 

Grover was still sound asleep—Percy envied him for how easily it came to him in the worst conditions—but thankfully, Annabeth wasn’t. Her gaze was focused on the view as their train chugged along. 

Percy cleared his throat in a flawless attempt at getting her attention, and it worked. 

“You’re awake,” she said. 

“Unfortunately.” Percy sighed. “How much longer do you think it’ll be?” 

“Another day, at least,” she said. “And we’ve got a layover in St. Louis.” 

“St. Louis,” he hummed. “Nice.” 

They sat in silence for a while—there wasn’t much to talk about when they were coming off of two— or was it three, now?—near-death experiences. But eventually, Annabeth cleared her throat, taking a page from his book, and it worked again. 

“There— there’s probably something you should know,” Annabeth said, and that worked even better than clearing her throat. “You’re not the only Big Three kid to come through Camp Half-blood lately.” 

“I know,” he said. “Grover and Luke explained it.” 

Her eyes widened slightly and she leaned forward in her seat. “Luke did?” 

“…Yeah. You all already told me about Thalia.” Percy glanced away, suddenly feeling a chill in the train car. “Luke told me about my sister.” 

Annabeth went silent. 

“It’s okay,” he said. “I kind of annoyed Luke until he told me. Doesn’t really seem like a subject people at camp like to talk about.” 

“I’m just surprised he did,” she murmured. “They were… they were close, Percy. Her death destroyed him—Thalia and your sister. All of it’s complicated.”  

“Yeah,” he sighed, “I got some of that.” 

“I only knew her for a year at camp, but everyone loved her,” she said. “She was nice. Popular. Always helped when she could, always had the biggest, most infectious smile on her face.” Annabeth looked down at her hands. “She didn’t deserve the fate she got.” 

Percy didn’t think he’d ever grieved so much for someone he never knew. “But her and Luke—were they…?” 

“Yeah,” Annabeth said, “they were a thing, later on.” 

That seemed to be all she wanted to say on the matter. Percy decided not to push. 

“How did you meet her?” he asked. 

Annabeth’s lips pressed into a thin line. “I met her on the day I thought I would die.”

-

For the first time in her life, Annabeth Chase couldn’t think. 

It had all happened so fast. One second she was running with Luke and Thalia and Grover, praying to her mother and any other gods that would listen to make the horde of monsters let up even a centimeter.

The next, she’d collapsed on the ground, never so grateful to have grass and dirt and dust in her face. But she could hear Luke yelling, barely able to make it out in her delirious state—she didn’t know when she’d last had a sip of water, and they’d been running for at least three miles—but he sounded hysterical. 

She remembered her last clear thought: they weren’t going to make it. 

But they had. They had, so why was Luke losing his mind? 

Annabeth pulled herself up from the ground—how long had she been bleeding out of those slashes on her arm?—and looked for the rest of her friends. Luke wasn’t yelling anymore, instead arguing with someone she didn’t recognize in a bright orange shirt. Grover’s furry legs trembled as he stared down the hill they’d just gotten up, completely silent, and Thalia— 

Where was Thalia? 

Annabeth tried to get up but her legs gave out almost immediately, and steady arms caught her before she could fall to the ground again. Kind eyes served to ease some of her panic—she was older than Annabeth, maybe around Luke or Thalia’s age. 

Thalia— 

“Hey, you’re okay,” the voice said, and Annabeth’s attention was drawn back to you. “I’ve got you.” 

“Where’s Thalia?” she blurted out, because now she couldn’t think of anything else. 

Your brows creased and you glanced back down the hill—Annabeth did too, and she saw Grover and Luke arguing with each other. Or rather, Luke was yelling at him as Grover anxiously hooked his hands through his hair. 

“I don’t know,” you said, “but right now, I need to make sure you’re okay. Are you hurt?” 

Annabeth absentmindedly held up her arm, but she was only focused on her friends. Why wasn’t Thalia with them? Why was Luke so upset?

You cursed under your breath in Ancient Greek as you cradled her arm, and you looked back down the hill. Annabeth could see at least half a dozen other kids. 

“We’ve got two half-bloods and a satyr, one injured!” you yelled back. “Get Molly and Brayden!” 

“Three,” Annabeth found herself saying. “There’s three half-bloods—” 

“Annabeth!” 

Her head shot up at the sound of Luke calling her name as he bounded over, and her eyes widened at the blood steadily spidering across the fabric of his shirt. 

“Luke, you’re hurt—” 

“I’m fine,” he insisted. “It’s fine.” 

“We have Apollo kids coming,” you said, looking up at him, still cradling Annabeth’s arm. “We’ll get y—” 

Your sentence stuck in your throat, and Annabeth could see tears welling in your eyes as your brows furrowed. She thought Luke’s eyes might burst out of his skull as he stared at you, his lips parted but nothing coming out. Neither of you were able to form words. 

When he finally did get something out, it was a single name. One Annabeth knew by heart, one that he’d mourned for years. 

“Luke?” you whispered. 

Before he had the chance to do anything, two teenagers got over the hill and called out your name, the same one Luke used. He always said you were dead, but you clearly weren’t dead, because you were here and you had her arm in your grasp and while your hands were cold, they weren’t cold enough to be dead— 

“Molly’s gonna take care of you,” you said, looking back at Annabeth and cutting off her inner dialogue. “She’ll get you to the infirmary and heal you up, okay?” 

“My friends—” 

“They’re gonna be okay too,” you said. “I promise.” 

Annabeth looked up at Luke, and he nodded. “We’ll be with you soon, Annabeth. We— we have to talk about some things.” 

So she went with Molly down the hill, and Annabeth put pressure on her bleeding wound when she told her to—it had started to sting like hell now that her adrenaline was fading. 

She looked back just in time to see you and Luke share the tightest hug ever. 

The hug of two people who realized they weren’t seeing ghosts, Annabeth thought. 

-

You bolted up in bed, eyes wide and your chest heaving as you rapidly sucked in air. Your fingers found purchase in your bedsheets, desperate for something familiar—it took a second for you to recognize your surroundings, that you weren’t in an endless void, but your childhood bedroom offered little comfort.  

You ran a hand over your forehead, damp with sweat, as you tried to calm down. Your breathing slowed, but you couldn’t shake that awful feeling that hung over you in your sleep. 

Your nightmares were getting worse, you knew that much. That raspy, demented voice used to be a rarity, and now it appeared every night. You could usually deal with your nightmares, but the sense of absolute dread that voice and the pit fostered in you was too much. You hadn’t managed to sleep through the night once since you came home for the school year.

You could deal with the monsters—to you, this was the worst part of your godly blood.

A knock rattled on the door out of nowhere, and you nearly jumped out of your skin. The only thing that calmed you down was the thought that monsters didn’t knock. 

“Come in,” you croaked, your throat drier than a desert. 

Thankfully, a monster hadn’t come to make your night even more miserable. Luke stood in the doorway, his eyebrows creased in concern, messy curls hanging just above his eyes. He wore the Red Sox t-shirt you’d bought for him at the game you dragged him to, and in your addled state, you didn’t even think to tease him about it. 

“Are you okay?” He should’ve been as disoriented as you, but his alerted eyes told a different story. 

You could only think of one thing. “How did you know?” 

Luke’s lips parted for a moment, as if he hadn’t even considered it. “I could just feel it.”

You managed a smile despite every atom in your body screaming at you. “I think that means you can come in.” 

He closed the door behind him, and you shifted over in your bed to make room for him. There wasn’t much in a twin, but you made it work. Luke’s weight pressed into the mattress, making you adjust your position, and it was more comforting than any amount of blankets. 

“You’re so cold,” he murmured, laying the back of his hand against your arm. “How do you live like that?” 

“Blame my dad,” you said. “I’ve got water in my blood.” 

“I think that’s probably a bad thing,” Luke said, and you knocked your shoulder into his with a huff. 

“You know what I mean.” 

Luke let his hand fall back in his lap, and as you brought your knees up to your chest, you pulled the covers with them. 

“So,” Luke said, glancing at you, “what’s got you awake at the witching hour?” 

“The usual,” you mumbled. 

“Nightmares that might be prophetic?” he asked. 

You made a lazy gesture with your hand. “Bingo.” 

“The worst sense of dread imaginable?” 

“Bullseye.” 

“I’m sorry,” he said. 

You shrugged. “It’s nothing I can’t deal with.” 

“You don’t always have to put on a front, y’know,” Luke said. You felt his eyes on you. “You don’t always have to be strong.” 

“I’m naturally strong,” you said with mock austerity. “Comes with the god for a dad.” 

Luke chuckled and shook his head. “You know what I mean.” 

“Yeah,” you murmured. 

You leaned into his side, fitting your head into the crook of his neck. Luke wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer, and you let out a contented sigh. 

That voice in your nightmares seemed so small when you had Luke. 

“Can you stay?” you asked softly. 

He didn’t hesitate. “Of course.” 

“Just like old times,” you whispered. 

“Just like old times,” he agreed. 

Luke ran hot, and you’d never been more thankful for it as you fully settled into his side. Icy blood ran through your veins, and you let out a shaky sigh. You could hear his steady breathing, feel his heartbeat through his chest, and the anxiety from earlier began to steadily fade. You never felt safer than when you were with Luke. 

There was something between you—you weren’t that stupid—but you hadn’t talked about it. With you and Luke, it was just… you and Luke. You didn’t have to put a label to it. 

How could you put a label to your relationship, when you’d spent your first few years together fighting for each day, and then the next few thinking the other was dead? 

Maybe someday, you would talk about it. But for now, this was more than enough. 

“Don’t worry,” Luke murmured in your ear as your eyes began to droop. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.” 

And by the gods, you believed him. 

#reader is the mara of she ra the mikey berzatto of the bear the nellie crain of hill house DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan fic #luke castellan angst #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #pjo x reader #x reader #daughter of poseidon #child of poseidon #sadie writes

[yan-lorkai]

Hi! I was wondering how you think the octa trio would react to a darling who was studying to be a marine biologist? Like I can image that before darling was taken by the mirror they were studying, have an absolute love of the ocean, and even go deep sea diving regularly. I could also see them absolutely gushing over the trios mer-forms, being curious, making treats/dishes based on what their fish equivalent like to eat in our world.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ "Zuzu, it's true that octopus have three hearts?" You asked out of blue. You always asked such strange questions whenever you could corner him or the tweels but he couldn't deny you and your curiosity. You had this hopeful glimmer in your eyes that was so precious to see. "Oh and why do some octopuses like to lead an isolated life? It's, uh, because they don't have a mate or just something innate? And if I can ask more, how do this whole visual communication between octopuses work?"

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ At first, when you still haven't picked his interest, he wouldn't answer you. Not without a contract, that is. But after that, when you became someone dear to him, Azul genuinely feels very happy that you take so much interest on him though he is a little overwhelmed by how many questions you ask per second. Even so, he do his best at answering you when he note your interest on marine life.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You two has long conversations about the life beneath water. You match his enthusiasm talking about fish, crustaceans and molluscs, about corals and the littles things you love. He might share some fun facts with you about octopuses and answers your questions as best as he can. Though he do gets a little shy sometimes. Like, wow, you really want to know all this? If he was in his mer form, you would see his tentacles moving in a very distinct way, almost like a dance and how his skin changed its color.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He gets even more shy if you ask to see his mer form, which he is still a little insecure about. He knows you won't laugh at him but he can't help so this might take a while. Till then, he is more than happy to this little routine of yours. Plus he like when you cook some crustaceans for him. Octopus loves to eat it. Your knowledge is cute in his eyes so he, in turn, study human customs to understand more of you. If you compliment on his human form, he'll blush. But if you compliment him on his mer form, he'll without notice release ink, blush and stutter a little.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Azul makes a potion for you to be able to breathe beneath water each and every time you go diving. Isn't he so generous, just as the Sea Witch herself? Though there's a trick to it. You love the sea so much and you want to know so much and there's so many things you haven't seen yet, it's just fair for him (and for the tweels, he suppose) to show you all. The price? Your legs. Yes, your legs. When you drink it you won't be able to go back to your human form.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Though that's only when you guys graduate from NRC. So you still have some time on your hands, use wisely.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ "Jadeeee, why do eels like to migrate so much? What yawming mean you want to mate with someone?" You ask him one day, watching him pause and offer that same sweet, mysterious smile. You then look at Floyd who is using your shoulder as a pillow. "And is it true that you live to be 100? And my main question is about electric eels, how do they use electricity to communicate?"

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ So many questions. Jade teases you a lot because of how many questions you ask, it's all good fun and he knows when to stop to not make you feel like you're intruding. He gets a little softer answering it, feeling a little nostalgic himself. He felt the same way when he got his legs, he wanted to explore the world, sightsee everything, eat different dishes and hear different songs.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Everything was new though he had to learn everything alone, as his brother and Azul were busy doing their own thing. You don't need to be alone learning about marine life, he can answer your questions, go diving with you, it's a little dangerous but he is there to protect you.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He likes feeling your gaze boring into his form and you little anxious hands touching his long tail and fins. It's cute. Feels intimate. Even more when he curl his tail around you and cuddle you, staying like that for various minutes or even hours.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ On the other hand, Floyd may or may not answer your doubts based on his mood. He likes to hear your questions, they're so diverse and they make him think about home. So far, he already told you how crabs have a strong exoskeleton, or that crustaceans adapt quickly or how eels sometimes migrate to live in salt water then on fresh water. There are so many things he could tell you about it. So many creatures who he fought against. Ah, the good times <3

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Most times than not Floyd likes to take you diving instead of answering you. It's just more fun, plus he like to have you pay such close attention to his mer form. He displays his tail and gills proudly, letting his bioluminescence leave you in awe.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You and Floyd usually cook together on mostro's kitchen and he show you just how he like to eat molluscs, fish, algae and octopus. He even let you spoonfed him and he'll do the same for you, giggling happily, telling you how cute you are where you're eating. Though he knows humans may find eel food a little strange so he often cook your favorite dish as well.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ The Octotrio work together to trap and isolate you in their care. They are the only one worth enough to have you asking your little questions and they'll hate (they totally don't) to hurt someone, if you choose to be ask someone else about marine life. Thus the other octavinelle students are a little afraid of interacting with you.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ But that's ok, right? After all you have your beloved friends to keep you company.

#yandere twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #yandere octavinelle #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere jade leech #yandere floyd leech #tw yandere #.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ creativecupcake #azul x mc #azul x yuu #azul x reader #floyd x mc #floyd x yuu #floyd x reader #jade x yuu #jade x reader #jade x mc #yandere azul #yandere jade #yandere floyd

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #19] Send To All

warnings: plot stuff!! no smut!!! another cw: jiyeong lol

a/n: this header not being square drives me insane and i could fix it but reuploads are laborious enough as it is lol

soundtrack: self-sabotage - waterparks (this is one of THE bd songs for me hehe)

wc: 3.5k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

If time flies when you're having fun, then you think it's fair to say you're having the worst day of your life.

Okay, so that's a little dramatic, but your shift has been excruciatingly slow; the hands of the clock above the door taunting you every time you glance in its direction. Admittedly, you are looking at it every 10 seconds or so,  which is making it a hell of a lot more disappointing than it really ought to be.

From the desk, Hoseok watches you with sympathetic intrigue. You've cleaned the same empty table four times now just for something to do. Work is quiet, so distractions are limited.

You had only picked up an extra shift so you that didn't have to spend the entire afternoon letting your imagination run wild thinking about Jeongguk's date - but apparently, your mind didn't get the memo.

The thoughts trundle around your boardgame brain; passing 'go', collecting £200. It skips over the chance card tiles, and opts out of buying anything other than Mayfair. It's the only property you want, and yet you never seem to land on it. Sucks, but such is life.

"You'll wear a hole through the table if you keep scrubbing at it," Hoseok says softly as he takes the cloth from you.

"Sorry," you hum. An awkward smile is offered, as loose hairs fall around your face, glitter caught in the strands that dance in the low evening light. You're even more haphazard than usual today, Hoseok thinks. You choose to explain it away. "Just nervous about Tae's show. That's all. Trying to get a head start on things."

"It's an art space," he says warmly, not wanting you to think he's being critical. The way he smiles is gentle; the creases in the corner of his eyes are even more so. "No one is expecting it to be free of paint. If anything, quite the opposite."

He's right. You know it. It's why you make no opposition when he encourages you back to the desk, and guides you into the chair by the till. There's only one couple in the far corner. Young. Teenagers, maybe. You wonder if they'll make it through university. Likely not.

Cynical bint, you berate yourself. Plenty of people stay with their high school sweethearts. You'd met potentially the best example you'd ever seen of the cliche last night, in the form of the Min's.

You understand entirely why Yoongi adores Seoyeon, so. There had been an ease to her acceptance of you; as if she was inherently meant to nurture those around her, no matter how unfamiliar they may be. By the time you had left the Min's - a little tipsy and with Jeongguk's arm around your shoulders - you'd felt a warm sense of belonging in her company.

There's quiet concern on Hoseok's face a little while later as he watches you dip your bagel into a pot of cream cheese.

The magnitude of his concern only increases when you sink your teeth into the bread and tear it apart.  You're like a tiger ripping apart raw flesh, he thinks.

The scowl that settles on your lips as you chew is only wiped away when you take a sip of your coffee - but there's still a frown polluting your expression.

It's sort of cute how your cheek bulges from the sheer amount of bagel your manage to stuff in there, but Hoseok's worried you'll choke.

"Want a knife?" he asks as you dip the bagel back into the pot.

You look at him - bagel clamped between your teeth, just about to be torn in two - and scowl. Yanking the bagel, you tear it even further apart. He gulps. Shouldn't have asked. Never interrupt a girl and her food. He knows this. Should have known better.

It's just a bad mood, you think. No need for Hoseok to look at you as if you have three heads.

Just a bad mood.

Across town, in a ceramic painting place you've been following on Instagram for ages now but have never visited, Jeongguk laughs.

There's a dimple sitting prettily in his cheek, his teeth on full display, nose a little bit scrunched. He's trying to be quiet - doesn't want to distract the rest of the people in the pottery studio - but there's something so damn funny about Jiyeong's inability to paint anything that even remotely resembles a frog.

She pouts, and lowers her brush. "Stop! I'm trying!"

But then she smiles, too.

No one else notices. They're all far too distracted by their own masterpieces.

It's annoying, because Jeongguk really has created a masterpiece.

Having both been totally clueless as to what to decorate their mugs with, the ceramics instructor suggested taking inspiration from their favourite childhood fairytales. Jeongguk had gone for Little Red Riding Hood - Jiyeong had taken great pleasure in telling him she'd been Little Red for Halloween - and Jiyeong had gone for the Princess and the Frog.

"I know," he grins, as he tries to pretend as if it's not the most god-awful frog he's ever seen. It's kinda cute. In a hideous, kind of way. "You're doing great - no! Really. You are it. It's like... an abstract version of the story."

"Look," she sighs, her pretty face all pouty and perfect despite her hardships. The smile on her face is genuine, and Jeongguk is sort of glad that she's not great at the whole 'art' thing. He doubts it would be half as much fun if she was any good. "Your friend never mentioned there'd be art involved - I fucking suck at arty things."

"Art is subjective-" he goes to reassure her, but she's having none of it. Shakes her head as she laughs. Makes him laugh too. It's easy. The flirting, the fooling around like kids in art class. Almost nostalgic. She's exactly the kind of girl he'd have gone for in his younger years - confident, a reckless tease, remarkably tactile. It makes him wonder why he ever strayed from his 'type'.

Hayun had been a bit of an anomaly. Different. She was a quiet one - cautious, but casual. Funny in a way that Jeongguk couldn't quite understand, but desperately wanted to. Reserved. His childishness had often been met with rolled eyes, and the lack of clear indication about her feelings made him insecure. Put him on edge. Even when they started hooking up. Actually, no. Especially when they had started hooking up.

His strangeness has been making a welcome comeback as of late, as noted by Yoongi a few months ago in Dionysus. You've helped in immeasurable ways. Ways you won't ever be able to understand.

It's Jiyeong's openness - the way she touches his arm, how she dabs at his fingers with her paintbrush - that lets him know she's interested. It stifles the fear. Fills him with confidence.

"You're allowed to say I suck," she grins, leaning into him a little bit. The scent of her perfume picks up in the electric heater, and he finds that he likes it. It's not his favourite, no, but it's pretty nice. Citrusy. He prefers things a little warmer, a little more vanilla. Toasted coconut. Sweet.

He momentarily loses his train of thought. Thinks about the way your hair had smelt in the bakery aisle of the supermarket. Thinks about the way he always lets his nose nestle into the crown of your head before you shower together. Thinks about your room, and how it smells like that - sweet, coconutty - and how the last time he'd been in your room, he'd been inside of-

NOPE.

That thought is very quickly pushed deep down into the darkness of his brain. He can't be thinking about that . Not now.

"Yeah, it's pretty fucking bad," he nods instead, turning his attention back to her mug.

It's impossible for her to take offence when he looks as sweet as he does. He's in a white shirt - bad choice, considering there are speckles of paint all over his arms and even a tiny bit on his cheek - and black slacks, but the look is pulled off so well.

In fact, his outfit is borderline identical to what he wore to the Min's. You'd said he'd looked good. Said that it would be a good date outfit.  And so he'd listened, and had been proven right when Jiyeong complimented his style choice within the first five minutes of the date.

Admittedly, he'd complimented her first. Said that she looked nice, after about a thousand awkward, bashful smiles and half a dozen 'this is so weird,' and just as many 'I'm so sorry she forced you into this.'

Jiyeong had smiled, and assured him it was okay. "I'm glad she did."

And as Jeongguk meets you outside the gym the following morning, he can't help but agree.

He's still got a glow about him; fresh-faced and unwavering despite the rigorous workout you know he must have had. Part of you is glad. Him being at the gym means she at least didn't stay over - which would have been totally fine! You absolutely wouldn't have minded. Wouldn't have bothered you in the slightest . In fact, maybe it would have been better if she had stayed-

Okay, you can't even convince yourself that you believe it, but that's not the point.

He walks with his hands stuffed in his trouser pockets, shoulders a little hunched from the cold air. He's missing a jacket, which is unlike him, you think. You can't tell if there's a blush on his cheeks or if it's just windburn. Maybe both.

"Hello, Casanova," you greet him, smile fond, eyes earnest. The words are lively and melodic as they dance from your lips to his ears, yet the strings of your heart seem to pluck a little out of tune. You just need to adjust them slightly. Tune them. That's all.

"Don't call me that," he shakes his head - but he's smiling. There's a shyness to him. It's not all too unfamiliar, but it's something you've not seen in a while.

"So?" You beam, pushing it aside as you both begin to walk in the direction of 'home'. "How did it go?"

Jeongguk nods as he tries to formulate words. There's a smile on his lips. You can hear it as he speaks. "Good. Yeah... yeah, no, good. Really fun, actually."

"Okay, no, stop being coy," you laugh. "Give me details!"

Jeongguk pauses for a second as he tries to get a read on your face. There's nothing outwardly wrong, he thinks, but he notices that you're avoidant. Your eyes don't linger on his. The smile that comes with your laughter doesn't last as long as it usually does. He doesn't like it.

So he gives you what you ask for, because he thinks that might help. Maybe you've been nervous for him. It's his fault - he forgot to text you back last night, having gone for drinks after the ceramics place. Time had slipped away from him.

He tells you everything - how bad she is at painting (you enjoy this, because you like being better than her at least at something), how she'd suggested a drink afterwards, and how he'd walked her home at 2 AM because apparently neither of them wanted to stop talking. He tells you how he hadn't been brave enough to do anything other than walk, but she'd moaned about the cold and so he'd given her his jacket.

Poor Jeongguk had been so warm from soju and giddy from a date gone well that he hadn't even realised he was jacketless until he was about halfway home.

It explains his lack of a jacket now. You've a heat pack in your pocket. Part of you tells you not to pass it over to him. Would serve him right for being so careless.

And as much as you enjoy being a bitch, you also don't enjoy hearing his teeth chatter together. You say nothing as you pass it over, and push him toward the alleyway that leads up to his favourite brunch spot. At least going there will get him out of the cold.

"I'm so happy for you," you smile. You don't think you're lying. "I told you that you could do it!"

Jeongguk is slow in his reply again, almost as if he's weary of saying the wrong thing. It comes from a place of fear; memories of Hayun, and her reaction the first time Jeongguk had started seeing someone during their friendship. It had been before anything had developed between the pair of them, but it was the first time he'd clued up to the fact maybe she'd have been interested in more.

If he were to explain this, you'd tell him to fuck off for associating you so closely with her. You've never met her, but have convinced yourself that you couldn't be less like her even if you tried. You're nothing like the girl who broke his heart, and you never intend on being anything like her, either.

Then again, can't break his heart if the pair of you never fall for each other - and given the giddy smile on his lips all thanks to Jiyeong, you highly doubt that would ever be an option, anyways.

Seeing him like this - hopeful - makes your heart swell. He deserves happiness. Deserves the world. Or at least, deserves someone who makes him feel like he has the whole world in his palm whenever he holds them close.

"I owe you," he beams, as he beelines for his favourite booth, passing a quick nod to the cashier as she welcomes your arrival. It's so warm in the cafe that Jeongguk thinks he might die. The sudden temperature change is torture. "She, uh - she actually asked if I wanted to hang out next weekend, too. Obviously, I said no-"

"NO?! Obviously?!" You almost shriek, the back of your hand gently smacking against his arm. "You said no?! I thought you said it went well?!"

"It did!"

You don't understand why he's shrieking too, when he's the one who's gone and fucked up all of your hard work.

"Then why the fuck would you say no?!"

"Because!" he interrupts before you go off on a tangent, without hearing him out. "Next weekend is Tae's art show. Show on Saturday, and Sunday is free in case we get fucked up afterwards."

He shakes his head towards you, eyes wide, brows lifted, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world - and now that he's mentioned it, you think he's right.

Good, old, dependable Jeongguk. Wouldn't forget his friend's important events for anything. Not even one of the hottest girls in the whole downtown area could make him forget.

Though if you said this out loud, he'd smirk, and tell you that one of the hottest girls in the downtown area is the reason he remembers.

But it's Tae's event, not yours. He knows that you'd tell him off for framing things in such a way. Plus, the date with Jiyeong really did go well. The idea of acting a little sleazy just for a cheap joke doesn't appeal to him. It would feel distasteful.

And yet it feels wrong not to make the joke. A week ago? He would have done. Your dynamic, though largely unchanged, is different now. There are boundaries that come with dating; ones that he knows damn well to respect, no matter how early on it is.

He never wanted things between you to change. He'd have happily kept things as they were.

Progress has been made, though; a purpose has been served.

He'd never describe your friendship as transactional, but it seems to have worked out that way.

Makes him feel guilty. The feeling simmers in his stomach as he sits beside you, nibbling at his bottom lip. His hands are stuffed into his trouser pockets as he reclines into his chair; a little closed off, but not enough to make you question it.

It's only when you reach over to nudge him - and say, 'hey?' - that he realises he's completely zoned out.

"Hmm?"

"Invite her," you say softly. "To Tae's event. Invite her along. We could do with more guaranteed attendees, and I'm gonna be schmoozing people all night with Tae, so at least you'll have someone to keep you company."

Plus Nabi's invited and you really don't fancy having to deal with her. If Jiyeong can win her over, that's one less thing you have to worry about.

"Invite her?"

"Yeah?"

"You sure?"

"No," you say with so much sarcasm Jeongguk can't help but smile. "I just said it for the fun of saying things."

"That is the kind of thing you'd do," he defends with a cheeky little grin as he sits up straighter. "I just don't wanna... I don't know. Move too fast?"

"It's not like you're inviting her to meet your parents - unless you've also invited them to Tae's?"

"No," he laughs. "Of course I haven't."

"Then you're golden," you assure him.

An extra attendee is an extra attendee at the end of the day. Hell, you think you'd even let Hayun through the door if it looked better for Tae.

"On the subject of golden," Jeongguk sighs as he gets to his feet. "French toast? Iced Americano?"

You nod. Smile a little bashfully. Hate that he knows you so well. Watch him as he walks away, and admire his ass a little (in a friendly way). He's just been at the gym working on it, so you tell yourself he'd appreciate the 'appreciation'.

Your eyes are drawn from his 'assets' when his phone vibrates on the table. You don't let them linger, but you see very clearly that it's an incoming message from Jiyeong. You're not sure it would be considered 'friendly' if you 'accidentally' dropped his phone into the coffee of the woman sitting behind you, but you consider it for a moment. An impulsive thought. That's all. Like when you're driving, and think about the fact you could swerve off the road, or like when Jeongguk gets too close and you think that maybe you could kiss him.

Not anymore, though. That ship has sailed. Lost at sea. Never to be found again. Maybe one day, many many years from now, explorers will find the lost treasure: gold-adorned artworks, swathes of origami birds and more glitter than any single ship could ever hold. Or maybe they won't.

Maybe you're romanticising something that never was for something it will never be.

Who knows? Best not to tempt fate with such mindless dillydallying.

Especially not when you know you're gonna spend the next half an hour convincing him to text her back and just bloody invite her to the show.

You're not sure if you should be pleased or disappointed when it only takes fifteen minutes to convince him. Pleased, you suppose. That's what you tell him you are, at least.

And pleased is also what he is when she replies immediately saying that she'd 'love' to come. Asks for a dress code and a ticket price. Wastes no time. Keen .

(If you were gonna be a bitch (which for some reason is coming naturally today) you'd think she was desperate (but then you remind yourself that you set up this date (with her (because you knew she was keen (can hardly be annoyed about it now, can you? (Stupid))))).

"Cocktail dress, and no ticket price," you smile, as if your brain isn't exhausting you. "She's your plus one. Mates rates."

He asks if you're sure. You tell him yes.

You don't tell him that you've already put the cost of two tickets - yours and his - in the kitty. Everyone else is paying. The pair of you were never going to be an exception - supporting Tae's show is more important than an extra 15,000won in your bank account. You'll just add a little extra for Jiyeong's ticket. No biggie.

Once brunch is done, and Jeongguk has just about finished teasing you for texting the details of Tae's show to Seokjin (you thought the 'send to all' function could be your friend, but forgot that your own inability to delete his number is your biggest flaw), you head in separate directions. Both heading home.

And yet as Jeongguk presses his bedroom door shut only to see a paper bird propped up by his pillows, he can't help but feel like home is across the other side of the city.

Strange.

Not really, though.

Not when you're flopping face-first onto your bed with a groan, and a mumble of an acknowledgement that you'd really rather Jeongguk not bring his new squeeze along.

"Wassup?" Danbi calls through from her room.

Rolling onto your back, you sigh. Look at your ceiling, that's void of birds, and ignore the message that comes through from Seokjin, finally responding to the show invite.

"We have any wine in the fridge?" You call back through to her.

"Always."

"Wanna get fucked up?"

Danbi laughs. You hear her head to the kitchen, and the clink of wine glasses gently knocking together as she opens up the fridge. "Always."

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

[polutrope]

ok I slandered Daeron in the tags to that best singers poll and I FEEL BAD so go on convince me that I should like him ;)

(mainly not a fan of his behaviour to Luthien - I love your daemags fics though <3)

Heh, saying you don't like a character is hardly slander! But I will take any opportunity to defend the B-Side of First Age Disappearing and Despairing Minstrels.

First, some reasons Daeron is cool:

He's the greatest minstrel of the Elf clan (the Teleri) specifically known for singing. He's one of the only instances of an Elf who hasn't seen the light of Aman being the best at anything.

Silm says that "Under ... the teaching of Melian [the Sindar] became the fairest and the most wise and skillful of all the Elves of Middle-earth," and Daeron is singled-out as one of the greatest among the greatest -- and not only for his music! He is also a loremaster and invented the Cirth. Everyone compares him to Maglor but I actually think there's a bit of a Sindarin Feanor vibe to Daeron. In later ages, I like to think many great Sindarin creations would get attributed to Daeron whether they're his or not (there are other versions of the history of Cirth where Tolkien seems to be getting at this), like the Noldor would attribute their great inventions to Feanor.

Daeron's name, in later etymologies, is actually related to the word 'great'.

His name, in earlier etymologies, means 'shadow of trees' which is so mysterious and poetic.

Daeron's teacher and the Queen he sang for, was there for the Ainulindale itself (thanks @an-eldritch-peredhel for the point!). Melian is also said to have been most skilled of all the Ainur in "songs of enchantment" and the Valar would stop their work to hear her singing at the Mingling. That's who taught Daeron!

The Sindar were a largely an oral culture, but Daeron -- during the peaceful years of Thingol and Melian's rule in Beleriand -- invented an alphabet. Even in times of bliss, he cared about the preservation of memory and knowledge. I love that for him. This gorgeous quote ends the paragraph about his invention of the Cirth:

But of bliss and glad life there is little to be said, before it ends; as works fair and wonderful, while still they endure for eyes to see, are their own record, and only when they are in peril or broken for ever do they pass into song.

Like Maglor, he has the same tragic arc of messing up, repenting, and self-exiling. Unfortunately, he gets such cursory treatment in the published Silm that this doesn't really come through (in particular the repentance part).

I could say more, but now we've come to repentance, let's address the real elephant in the room: betraying Luthien. This is going under a cut.

I tend to see Daeron getting dismissed (or loathed) based on some variation of "he was a jealous unrequited stalker who betrays Luthien". And there's some truth to that (definitely the betrayal part), but I think a lot of assumptions are made about him based on certain unrequited lover tropes (Maeglin), or perhaps negative real life experiences, that I don't think really apply to Daeron.

Here's why.

He was Luthien's close friend.

Let's start with what we can squeeze out about their relationship from the Silm:

Then Luthien, perceiving that no help would come from any other on earth, resolved to fly from Doriath and come herself to [Beren]; but she sought the aid of Daeron, and he betrayed her purpose to the King.

[Daeron] it was that made music for the dance and song of Luthien, before Beren came to Doriath; and he had loved her, and set all his thought of her in his music.

Ignoring for a second that he betrayed her (that's coming up), Daeron spent a lot of time with Luthien (making music for her) and he was the person she trusted enough to ask for help in going after Beren. They may not have loved each other in the same way, but there was reciprocal affection there.

(In the Tale of Tinuviel he's her brother, so at its origins the relationship is so close that they are siblings.)

The Lay of Leithian makes their friendship much more apparent, as the bits below will show.

2. His betrayals of Luthien are complex.

In the Silm, Daeron twice betrays Luthien.

First, he tells Thingol she's been hanging out with Beren:

But Daeron the minstrel also loved Luthien, and he espied her meetings with Beren, and betrayed them to Thingol.

Then, he tells Thingol that she's planning to go after him (quoted above).

The first one, I admit, comes off kinda jealous and petty. But think about his situation. His best friend (who he may be in love with - but note that in love is never the phrasing) has just started secretly hanging out with this mortal who stumbled out of the bushes. This is not safe! This is extremely unexpected and stressful! He is upset!

He is also sworn to serve his king. He kind of has to tell Thingol once he knows this about his daughter. Yes, perhaps he had no business stalking around to see what she was up to, but he was worried. Probably would have been better to just talk to her (we don't know that he didn't, actually), but he's certainly not the only male character in Luthien's story who doesn't ask her what she thinks before taking action (this includes Beren).

As for the second betrayal, again he's sworn to serve his king and she puts him in an awkward position when she reveals her plans to go after Beren. But more importantly, he's worried for her safety! From his perspective, she's lost her mind. And how was he to know Thingol's reaction would be to lock her in a treehouse?

The way this all plays out in Lay of Leithian makes all these implied complexities more apparent:

Luthien starts having secret forest meetups with Beren and Daeron sees them together. He gets very upset and lays a curse of silence on Doriath (sidenote: kinda awesome that he has this power??).

Thingol summons Daeron to ask him what is going on with the silence. Daeron replies in riddling terms, and Thingol asks him to clarify.

But Dairon looked on Luthien and would he had not spoken then, and no more would he speak that day, though Thingol's face with wrath was grey.

So even midway through his "betrayal" (questioning by Thingol), Daeron seems to repent. It's Luthien herself who steps up and reveals what's happening.

Thingol is mad, he sends everyone off except Daeron, whom he asks to watch Luthien, which he "heavyhearted did" (Daeron is really not a position to say no here).

The watching proves unnecessary because Luthien brings Beren to Menegroth herself. Beren makes his speech about wanting to marry her.

Here Daeron behaves poorly. He calls for Beren's death, which is mean (but it is also a pretty badass moment and underlies my slightly-unstable Daeron headcanons) -- but! Tolkien actually struck these lines out and in the published Silm it's Thingol who wants Beren dead. Christopher Tolkien says of this cut: "It may be that my father wished to represent Dairon as less unequivocally hostile to Beren, and also ashamed of his words to Thingol."

Next time Daeron shows up Luthien is going to him for consolation and help (as in the Silm):

'O Dairon, Dairon, my tears,' she cried, 'now pity for our old day's sake!'

She asks him to play music for her, which he does, and she feels better.

Addressing him as "my friend" she asks for his help "if he would not for love of her / go by her side a wanderer" seeking for Beren.

Daeron swears to protect her -- but what he really means is he's going to tell her dad that she's lost her goddamn mind.

But straightway Dairon sought the king and told him his daughter's pondering, and how her madness might her lead to ruin, unless the king gave heed.

When Thingol decides the appropriate response here is to lock her up, Daeron feels pretty bad about it, and often visits Hirilorn.

There Dairon grieving often stood in sorrow for the captive of the wood [...] Luthien would from her window stare and see him far under piping there, and she forgave his betraying word for the music and the grief she heard, and only Dairon would she let across her threshold foot to set.

Which brings me to:

3. Daeron repents and Luthien forgives him.

See that passage above? She forgives him! And he's the only person she lets visit her!

Next up, Luthien learns that Beren is imprisoned in Tol-in-Gaurhoth and she gathers all the various implements she needs to make her big escape.

Then Dairon she called: 'I prithee, friend, climb up and talk to Luthien!' And sitting as her window then, she said: 'My Dairon...

And she asks him to craft her a loom (which she will use to weave her hair into the cloak of darkness she uses to escape, but she doesn't say this). Daeron shows some concern over what her plans are with this and she answers ominously and evasively.

Then Dairon wondered, but he spake no word to Thingol, though his heart feared the dark purpose of her art.

He doesn't tell! He knows she's up to something but this time he doesn't tell. He's learned. (Note that because Lúthien doesn't reveal exactly what she's doing, he doesn't necessarily have the same duty to tell Thingol.)

Then as we know, Luthien escapes and goes missing. The part of the Lay covering the events in Doriath while Luthien and Beren complete their quest weren't written, so all we know of Daeron's next actions come from what's in the Silm:

And it is told that in that time Daeron the minstrel of Thingol strayed from the land, and was seen no more. [...] But seeking for Luthien in despair he wandered upon strange paths, and passing over the mountains he came into the East of Middle-earth, where for many ages he made lament beside dark waters for Luthien, daughter of Thingol, most beautiful of all living things.

Also in the outlines of the unwritten Leithian Cantos:

Sorrow in Doriath at the flight of Luthien. [...] A mighty hunt is made throughout the realm, but many of the folk stayed north and west and south of Doriath beyond the magic of Melian and were lost. Dairon became separated from his comrades and wandered away into the East of the world, where some say he pipes yet seeking Luthien in vain. [...] Thingol is wroth [at Celegorm etc.] - and is moved to think better of Beren, while yet blaming [him] for the woes that followed his coming to Doriath, and most for the loss of Dairon.

Guh! This is just so tragic to me?? He just... disappears! In despair! How is that not sad?? How is it he made two minor bad judgement calls and this is his fate? Look, Maglor fully deserved his self-exile in pain and regret. I just don't see how Daeron did. But he loved Luthien so much that his despair over betraying and losing her was it for him. Many ages of lamenting. And it was a tragedy for Doriath, too, who lost one of the greatest minds the Sindar ever had.

I get so emotional defending this guy. I'm sorry this is so long.

I made a list of short Daeron fic recs.

#daeron #luthien #sindar #silm meta #meta #I am so normal about Daeron #asks

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Chortle headlines.

Some of these are interesting. I don't know if it bodes well if Paddy Young is the absolute best rookie comedians in all of Britain, but he definitely had a good show last year (that got streamed on NextUp from Edinburgh). I have trouble believing anyone wrote a show that's better than both Paul Foot's Dissolve and Ahir Shah's Ends, but to be fair, I haven't seen John Kearns' show and he is very fucking good at these things, makes me hope even more that he'll be doing something in Edinburgh while I'm there. Alex Horne got an award for Taskmaster being an outstanding achievement, not quite sure what that means but I think it's accurate. I think if you look up the definition of "breakthrough act" you'll just find a note that says "see Sam Campbell's career throughout 2023", so that couldn't really have gone any other way. I've heard Kiri Pritchard-McLean compere a bunch on NextUp things, she is in fact very good at clubs. I haven't seen any of the other nominees but I'm still sure that James Acaster deserved to win that best tour one. I couldn't stomach the amount of Celebrity Glamour in Joe Lycett's new show but he is a great comedian and he is definitely made to be a TV comedian, which in some ways could be an insult but I really mean it as a compliment, he's great at that, good for him. Munya Chawawa posts highly amusing song parodies on YouTube. Fern Brady's is one of the best comedian books I've read. Three Bean Salad I was unable to get into, but maybe I'll give it another shot sometimes, after I finish with the winners of that radio award, John and Elis - well done to them for getting over ten years and not completely falling apart. I usually find it hard to get into sketch comedy (or anything that isn't straight stand-up) but Lorna Rose Treen made me laugh with character things last summer, so she probably deserves that one.

Those are my unsolicited opinions on that. The existence of Taskmaster is definitely an outstanding achievement for all involved.

This a special feature that happens every once in a while, called "Chortle publishes the contents of Daniel Kitson's mailing list". I find it gets funnier the less it sounds like Steve Bennett knows about the news items beyond the contents of the mailing list email, and in this case, that is clearly fuck all. But anyway, it's a great show and exciting announcement, anyone who has the opportunity should go see this tour. He said in the email that he might try to get something going in NYC later this year, which would be incredibly logistically difficult for me to get to (8.5-hour drive each way if I can borrow a car from someone, which would be tough, 14 hours on the bus otherwise, I've been told I can't take any more vacation days in 2024 because I used them on the London/Edinburgh trip), but still, I have found myself wondering how I might be able to make that work if he actually announces it.

Fucking hell. I can't believe this. My local comedian Facebook group is going pretty wild in response to this news. That's fucking huge, a massive amount of stuff is centred around this. To be honest I'm still not clear on the scope of this news so I won't go into it too much, I'll just say, fucking hell. Truly shocking. That's like a sport just canceling its national championships halfway through the season.

Excellent. Everyone should read this. His 2023 show (which I think he's still touring) is one of my favourite comedy shows ever. And the one before that, which inspired this book, is also very fucking funny, though not as good as his latest one.

Also, I am up for a trend of one comedian per year writing a book about their relatively recent autism diagnosis. Who do we think it'll be in 2025? I have approximately four to five suggestions.

[neos-schlond-poofa]

Garrance: How to Save a Life

I live laugh love Garrance and I once edited the first part. And ever since like one day, I listened to How to Save a Life by The Fray and went "omg..." AND WAS LIKE THATS THEM!! It was actually in like 2021 and it was me imagining if I had artistic talent and making a general MCD edit of it but slowly its turned into a predominantly Garrance theme song for me and like. I NEED TO SPREAD THIS AGENDA!! Just a heads up, its 1am for me rn, I don't remember everything the clearest, and I'm literally just rambling so it wont be too organized or have consistent grammar or writing styles. ANYWHO cue the music

Step one, you say we need to talk He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk" He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame You begin to wonder why you came OKAY SO LIKE THIS WHOLE FIRST PART I always envision it as late season 1 Garrance. Specifically when Garroth had his depressive episode (WHICH BY THE WAY GUYS WAS NOT HIM BEING AN INCEL!! IT WAS HIM BEING DEPRESSED AND MANIPULATED AND MOST LIKELY BRAINWASHED STOP VILLAINIZING HIM). Laurance did try to talk to him in that one episode, and it obviously didn't work. Laurance CARES about Garroth, like thats obviously super clear, and to see someone close to him randomly go into hiding and act all depressed is scary to him. And then... THE WINDOW TO YOUR RIGHT IS QUITE LITERALLY THE PORTAL TO THE IRENE DIMENSION!! Garroth goes left (to Zane) and Laurance stays right (to Aphmau). THE LINES OF FEAR AND BLAME? Laurance finds out that Garroth was tricked. He's scared of Garroth rn because he's literally insane but he blames himself too, not just for being part of the illusion that made Garroth become like this, but also because he wasn't there to help him out more maybe. He could've saved him, but he couldn't, and it still plagues him especially after he escapes the Irene Dimension. Garroth is all alone there with his brother who wants to kill him.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Yes this continues with the last part. But Laurance lost a friend here. Like. Not just by Garroth betraying them, but by him getting stuck in a dimension thats practically torture. And the bitterness? ITS THE BITTERNESS GARROTH WAS LOST IN!!! Laurance would stay up with Garroth all night... but he didn't know how to save a life.

Let him know that you know best 'Cause after all, you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along And pray to God He hears you And I pray to God He hears you, and Alright this is were a lot more interpretation comes in because once Garroth returns, they interact like... TWICE??? The scene were Laurance goes out of character and hates on Aaron (although he had a point) and when he finally saw Garroth again but Aph was dressed as Zane. I also don't remember the ending of Season 2 that much; most of my strongest memories of MCD is Season 1. So like. Bear with me here. But this is Garroth to Laurance now. Laurance is now going insane. The calling (whatever that is because it is so unclear) is well... calling to Laurance. To me, Laurance's mental health is literally just spiraling. And Garroth, someone who has had his fair share of mental health struggles, wants to help. He knows best; he knows to talk to people, he knows the dark paths it can bring people. He's trying to get through to Laurance and telling him whats wrong, how he can help. But of course, in this situation, Laurance can't listen. He can't hear Garroth, and Garroth's close connection with the religion in MCD is a bonus for the final lines too.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Of course the chorus is back because I have to explain this perspective too. By now, I imagine Laurance has left. Garroth feels guilty; someone who helped keep Aphmau together while he was gone and someone he loved. This is really simple but like, I can't skip over this.

As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he'll say he's just not the same And you'll begin to wonder why you came AND NOW THIS IS BOTH PERSPECTIVES!! It shows the parallels between their own journeys. Let's start with Garroth, since we have more stuff on him. Garroth was very defensive during his depressive episode and during the final episode of season 1, he has one final choice. Go with Zane, or come to his senses. And he does admit to everything, but at first, he said he's just not the same. BECAUSE HE WASN'T!! HE WAS SAD AND MANIPULATED. But for Laurance, he would also be defensive about this. His own self will is being stripped from himself because of weird Nether laws and he's spiraling. Garroth tries to help... but he simply can't. There is nothing he can do. OR MAYBE THERE IS?? Idk this is kind of just in my mcd rewrite universe and i like to imagine theres some way Laurance does get better but at the same time realistically... would he?? The nether is like so strong. Like how would he do that. But he does have a choice: either go to the Nether, or stay with his group. He can either admit it's hard, or he's just changed and leave. And now the final chorus and everything plays and its kind of the same as before... ive gotten increasingly more eepy during this writing and I hope my rambling style got my ideas across because this song literally got in my top 5 spotify wrapped because i kept imagining garrance angst to it. its so them god one day i need to share stuff about my rewrite. theres so much random stuff i have in there and this song is really important to it. i just like. GARRANCE RAHHH. my former interpretations of this song also had an aphmau perspective, which does entirely work; like. imagine the final verses is mirroring her own experiences with garroth AND laurance. i love garrancemau (SHE HAS TWO HANDS!! ignore how i also ship her with two more people too she can just hug them all at once) but i cant put it into this song as much as i used to because its so garrance. theyre so ugh i love my sad little gay men!! anyways toodles my rant here is done

#mcd #minecraft diaries #mcd aphmau #aphmau #i don’t support aphmau #aphmau mcd #garrance #mcd garrance #garroth ro’meave #garroth x laurance #laurance zvahl #mcd laurance #mcd garroth #silly little gay men #THIS SONG IS SO THEM PLEASE UNDERSTAND #this rant is so disorganized i think

[incoherentgoodomenssobbing]

Okay here we go

My Unreal Unearth Debrief

This is the best I have ever heard this man sing. My god. His resonance and strength. The high notes. The power and energy. I’m still fucking processing his belt and flips and range holy shit.

My absolute top songs based on combo of sound and lyrics: De Selby 1 & 2, Who We Are, To Someone From A Warm Climate, Anything But, Abstract, and First Light

Honorable mentions: Butchered Tongue, Nth, Son of Nyx, Icarian

I think the strongest song in terms of album cohesiveness goes to Who We Are, but First Light is the one that pulls everything together.

Vocally, the best songs are Anything But, De Selby (2 in particular), Abstract, First Light, and Who We Are for me but all of them were the strongest vocals I’ve ever heard from him

My favorite song was Abstract (Psychopomp). Paired with his explanation I think it’s absolutely gorgeous and I love the musical storytelling they did with vocals and production. Same praise for First Light but there’s just something about Abstract that takes the top spot for me.

I, of course, loved the pre-released tracks but genuinely think he saved the strongest stuff for release night. That may be because I’m just familiar with the pre-released stuff. I thought Francesca and All Things End worked really well within the larger album structure in particular. Eat Your Young has to be my favorite of the pre-released albums but was really jarring to hear right after I, Carrion. Which, to be fair, is a cool effect of that ordering and furthers the song’s message.

BRANDI. CARLISLE. enough said.

Butchered Tongue. Just incredible. It was carefully written and in typical Hozier style, made interesting parallels out of different colonialisms and genocides. I won’t say much more here because I think the lyrics just speak for themselves so beautifully.

Son of Nyx was not at all what I expected but the production is incredibly creative, the instrumentals were gorgeous, and between De Selby(s) and First Light, it’s one of the storytelling pillars of the album and the hell narrative

I, Carrion (Icarian) was interesting and I thought the lyrics were gorgeous. Both of the “softer” love songs on the album (Icarian and First Time) are gut-wrenching and beautiful. I also love the stripped down feel to Icarian and I think he wrote it with his girlfriend? which having heard the song has to be the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.

Anything But is some of the funniest shit I’ve ever heard

Stylistically, I’ve always liked the rock and acoustic feeling pieces but I loved that he added some of the funk influence to the album. All of the production felt different from his normal work in a cool, good way and I really think he pulled off the multi-genre concept incredibly well.

I have only one criticism of the album and it’s that I think he should’ve included Through Me. But, there’s always at least one good song that gets lost on the EP in the album cycle (rip NFWMB 🫡)

First Light and the “moral,” if I can derive one takeaway from the whole thing, which will be oversimplified because holy shit these songs, is that there is beauty in meaning in the cycle of light and dark, and that destruction and death are not something to be feared but rather something that can deepen how we understand the world. It is in turmoil that we can look to and understand our obligations to others and it is only by fully embracing all components of existence, including death and nothingness, that we can understand the art of being. We also must confront when death and destruction are objectively wrong and out of balance and reach out to each other in a work of communal preservation, which ultimately becomes our best way of self-preservation.

Favorite lyrics:

No closer could I be to God/or why he would do what he’s done

Allow the ground to find its brutal way to me

Once I had wondered/What was holding up the ground/I can see that all along, love/It was you all the way down

To hold me like water/Or Christ/Hold me like a knife

And the hardest part/Is who we are

Uiscefhuaraithe

As natural as another leg around you in the bed frame

The rains of winter seemed to never leave the walls

There are some things that no one teaches you, love/ That God in his awful wisdom just programs in

It was the place names/Singing at me as the first thing

You may never know your fortune/Until the distance has been shown between/What is lost forever/And what can still be known

In some town that just means/ ‘Home’ to them

The moment I knew/I’d no choice but to love you

Your tear caught the light/The Earth from a distance

All my love and terror/Balanced there between those eyes/See how it shines

If I had his job/You would live forever

And I am never going back again

#hozier #hozier album #andrew hozier byrne #unreal unearth

[skyloftsword]

Fire Emblem Engage Review and Thoughts

Fire Emblem Engage is legitimately my comfort game I don't think any other game has helped my mental health improve as much as this game. The amount of negativity I've seen surrounding Tears of the Kingdom made my mental health and sanity deteriorate to the point where I lost a friend. Engage is the only thing keeping me somewhat sane, genuinely my favorite game of all time thanks to how impactful it has been to me. I wanted to write a piece about this game because of how much I appreciate what it has done for me.

The story is simple and not the best thing ever, but its still the most fun I've had with a story before and its serious moments really hit for me. I quite honestly do not think this game's final battle will ever be topped for me because of how much fun it had with itself, especially with that absolute masterpiece of a song. The characters also are really simple but man do they really help the story hit. I don't think I loved a cast as much as this game's because of how funny they are, especially Pandreo and Amber. Alear is an excellent protagonist as well because of their growth throughout the story. They start off extremely cowardly when they just wake up to courageous but still somewhat scared but willing to do whatever it takes for the safety of the world and its people.

The music in this game is genuinely incredible... and very cheesy (which is a great thing). Whenever I feel horrible, I listen to Emblem, Engage! and all my worries go away. The map themes are also really, really good as well such as the Solm one and Tear Streaked (Ice). This game's soundtrack absolutely lived up to the expectations set from Three Houses and Three Hopes to me.

The gameplay is definitely a vast improvement over Three Houses' which I still enjoyed. Bringing back the weapon triangle helped give the game more of a challenge and strategy. The addition of the Break mechanic also makes following the weapon triangle more important, however you can't break armored units (unless magic does that). Also bosses no longer feel like a slog to take down like they did in Three Houses. Emblems also add fun gimmicks to battles, such as Warp Ragnarok with Celica and Goddess Dance with Byleth.

Speaking of gameplay, the Somniel is fine. Its far from bad, especially after all the quality of life improvements added post-launch for free alongside the DLC updates, but it definitely gets repetitive after a while. The lack of New Game+ also hurts replayability for this game for me, but I heard that wasn't really a thing with earlier FE games so its not a big deal. Also the bonds between characters and emblems are extremely short for whatever reason, two lines for C and B bonds and four lines for A bonds.

Overall, Fire Emblem Engage is my favorite game of all time and the most important game to me. I love this game to death despite my few issues with it (because to be fair, every game ever has flaws). This game has been a massive help to my mental health and to that, I say thank you Intelligent Systems for this wonderful, silly game.

#fire emblem #fire emblem engage #fe thoughts #this game is amazing #it helped me get through so much #its so goofy and funny and silly

[dollarbin]

Dollar Bin #31:

Linda Thompson's One Clear Moment

I don't know a sweeter moment in feminist pop music history than Linda Thompson's rebound after being dumped by her guitar god husband in 1982. Here they are before the crash landing.

Richard found himself a solo artist that no one wanted to see without his glorious wife, stuck on a dead end label and (correctly) deemed the villain. Linda, who was pregnant with their third child when he bailed, was taken in by Linda Ronstadt and was immediately offered a big deal record contract with Warner Brothers. Not bad.

It's no wonder why Linda was the bigger draw than Richard at that point. Check out this unspeakably brilliant performance; good luck ever seeing Richard get upstaged by someone anywhere else:

The story gets pretty sad from there; Linda literally lost her voice from the trauma of it all and was unable to make the big deal, cherished solo record she deserved; it was a full three years before she was able to settle in and record One Clear Moment.

And then the album tanked. 82's momentum was long gone: tastes had changed; Kate Bush had been replaced by Madonna; people wanted Born in the USA not Strange Affair. Linda Thompson lost her voice all over again in the aftermath and wouldn't return to performing until the new century. If you want to see the sad depths it all google her 88 Grammy appearance, where she has to lip sync her own song and looks lost at sea. I'm not pasting the video here; it's just too damn sad.

The only bright spot along the way (which led to her Grammy appearance) was thanks once again to Linda Ronstadt, who brought One Clear Moment's monster track of righteous feminism, Telling Me Lies, to the Trio sessions in 87, thereby tapping the public on the shoulder and reminding anyone who would listen that Linda Thompson was the real deal.

The ladies' version is wonderful, full of pathos and soaring vocals. But they were the world's biggest female stars at that point outside of Whitney Houston and Madonna, and they were finally making a record together that the men in their lives had blocked them from making for a full decade: even while they're singing such a sad song I can hear the joy in their voices.

Not so with Linda's own, original version: witness a woman scorned. She's wounded, yes. But she's also empowered and totally pissed:

I love how she takes the song to church, organ swelling. I love how slowly and directly she sings it. Has Richard ever listened to this? How has he ever stopped blushing? In his autobiography he basically refuses to write about it all. I was in the wrong, he tells his readers, in about half a sentence. He goes on to say that he's apologized to everyone involved and that means he's not apologizing to us. Fair enough.

But let's do our part to make things right: let's reconsider the straight-to-the-dollar-bin album that surrounds Linda's most famous song. Sure, the record doesn't include Richard and it does include three dull stinkers (most especially Best of Friends, which sounds intended for the My Little Pony Movie Soundtrack; Stephen Stills is probably watching that movie, if there actually is one, as we speak) on the B Side, but everything else within its grooves is alternatively powerful, ebullient and graceful. Let's set aside a clear moment to sing the record's praises.

Side One opens with Linda channeling Cindi Lauper with Can't Stop the Girl. Had Thompson been 15 years younger, willing to learn a few dance moves, and willing to wear her bra outside her shirt she could have joined Lauper on the Goonies soundtrack.

But it's during the title track, which follows, when things get vital. One Clear Moment sets the tone for everything memorable about this lost gem of a record; it marries 80's synth pop to sophisticated female empowerment; no wonder no one bought the record.

Thompson's lyrics on such songs are biting, fun and tight. Hell, High Water and Heartache includes the following verse, delivered without any flinching:

Some men make weak in the knees / You make me weak in the head / And if that's what you all passion / check your pulse you just might be dead.

Some men drive me wild / You drive me to despair / if i close my eyes and count to ten / promise you won't be there.

And take a listen to the sparse, lovely and biting Only a Boy, in which Linda puts Richard in his childish place then orders him to rot in hell.

Meanwhile the album contains two long forgotten tracks I think we are finally ready for. Take Me On The Subway is dense, dynamic and weird enough to serve as the opening credits track for some new zombie show. I feel commanded to obey her every command, ready to eat manflesh.

Finally, some savvy teen ought to cover In Love With the Flame in their bedroom, throw it on snapchat or whatever and get a million likes. It's bizarre to me how songs like this have not been turned into hits by cool kids once a decade ever since.

Don't you want to light a candle and shake your hips to this song? I know Linda and Richard had a miserable few years leading up to the record but it all made for some groovy tunes. And rest assured, their story has a happy ending.

Linda eventually recovered and has made 3 or 4 solid records in the last 20 years, each with Richard (occasionally) and their son (consistently) backing her. Both men do so with humility and understatement. They know Linda has always deserved center stage. It took some time, but the clear moment eventually came for her steady, majestic and powerful voice.

Let's give it another moment in 2024.

#Youtube #linda thompson #richard thompson #stephen stills sucks #my little pony

[kentuckyanarchist]

Songs of 2023

Here we are, a bit late, not quite as late as last year. 2023 was a busy year but somehow an uncomplex one for me—there’ve been worse years, there’ve been better. If the songs spoke to the times, they did so in obscure ways. Nonetheless: 50 favourite songs, 50 fuzzy thoughts, I hope you like them too.

1. Fenne Lily, “Lights Light Up”

Just the right amount of confidence and the right amount of caveats; just the right amount of magic and the right amount of realism.

2. Boygenius, “True Blue”

I love the matter-of-factness of Lucy Dacus’ diction here, putting friendship to words like it’s the most obvious thing in the world: “I can’t hide from you like I hide from myself, duh.”

3. ANOHNI, “Sliver of Ice”

Somehow, amidst the wreckage, it’s the elegance of ANOHNI’s rhymes that get me: view/blue, tonight/light, more/before; if only death was so simple.

4. Caroline Polachek, “Billions”

All I can say here, and it’ll sound silly, is that what’s happening in this song is an attempt to block off the curve from hedonism to cynicism.

5. Ratboys, “Black Earth, WI”

How is it that, with the mushroom cloud above and the ground opening up before them, Ratboys seem to have all the time in the world?

6. Julie Byrne, “Portrait of a Clear Day”

There’s a particular vocal style, smooth and blue like a lake surface, that you find in some English folk music, and in 2023 Julie Byrne was its sharpest, wisest practitioner.

7. Feist, “Hiding Out in the Open”

Homespun, delicate; thrillingly, almost uncomfortably intimate.

8. Slaughter Beach, Dog, “Strange Weather”

One for cataloguing, inventorying, totting up, working out where you stand.

9. Yo La Tengo, “Aselestine”

“Aselestine”’s two songs: the instrumentals so serenely flowing, circling, generative; Georgia Hubley’s vocals so clipped, terse, holding back.

10. Billy Woods & Kenny Segal ft. Samuel T. Herring, “FaceTime”

Could Billy Woods be our foremost imagist? “In a Station of the Metro” but the train’s derailed, bones snapped, screaming kids, twisted metal? I’ve already said too much.

11. Doja Cat, “Agora Hills”

The year’s best pop song, a delicate dedication from (is it fair to say?) unexpected quarters, smut and bravado doing the bare minimum to conceal its softness.

12. Mitski, “Bug Like an Angel”

This song doesn’t have a chorus in the sense of a refrain but has a chorus in the Ancient Greek sense, a set of voices that interrupt in unison, sometimes using dramatic irony.

13. Big Thief, “Born for Loving You”

Sometimes we speak out of the sides of our mouths and sometimes we dissemble; Big Thief could never.

14. The Antlers, “I Was Not There”

The word sweep is a good one for songs by the Antlers: conveying breadth and inexorability, it’s cosy and domestic too; to sweep like they do is to upturn, to wreck, but to renovate, to welcome.

15. Lana Del Rey, “The Grants”

Philip Larkin said poetry was a matter of experiencing a vision then “attempt[ing] to express the whole of which the vision is a part.” For Lana there’s no whole or part, just vision.

16. The Pines of Rome, “I Am a Road”

Gnomic, wry, lamenting, ground-down but still kicking, a bit ornery but if you sit down at its feet you’ll learn something.

17. Bonnie “Prince” Billy, “Willow, Pine and Oak”

Stolid and unsappy, this tripartite scheme isn’t quite right, but it certainly is one way of looking at the world.

18. Lande Hekt, “Pottery Class”

This song says it’s about missing someone, but all those sighs, all those “again”s, all those “buts” make you wonder.

19. James Yorkston, Nina Persson and the Second Hand Orchestra, “A Forestful of Rogues”

“If I say so myself, and I damn well do”—when you start a line like that you can follow it up with almost anything.

20. M83, “Amnesia”

Big as stars and glistening like them; who, in 2023, does it better?

21. CMAT, “Vincent Kompany”

CMAT sometimes seems to want to be “relatable” but then snaps out of it and takes joy in being idiosyncratic, or a bit off, or, basically, really fucking odd.

22. Mannequin Pussy, “I Got Heaven”

Let it be known that in 2023 we snarled sometimes.

23. Shit Present, “More to Lose”

Shit Present, in the best of traditions, use monotone as a weapon: here Iona Cairns drags down what could be a soaring chorus in the most politically astute of ways.

24. Fever Ray, “Kandy”

The word could be skeletal: minimal, of course, but also spooky, schlocky, body-horror, prone to decomposition.

25. Girl Ray, “Hold Tight”

“Hold Tight” says it wants simple sedentary situations, “talking shit on the grass,” “get a Coke and sit on the wall,” all while it bounces and hops non-stop.

26. Charlotte Cornfield, “You and Me”

I’ll admit to preferring the more pensive Charlotte Cornfield, but no one’s surprised she can do affirmative too.

27. Shannon Lay, “From the Morning”

I love Shannon Lay’s confidence: there’s something ever-so-slightly irreverent in this Nick Drake cover, just the slightest smirk.

28. Jeff Rosenstock, “HEALMODE”

The sort of song you find under rotting wooden pallets in derelict parts of the city.

29. The Mountain Goats, “Fresh Tattoo”

The Mountain Goats grow old no worse for wear: still telling meandering parables, still making us feel right at home.

30. Samia, “Charm You”

“As You Are,” Samia’s paean to unconditional familial love, was my favourite song of 2021. “Charm You” works up the same giddiness about a new relationship but introduces a smidge of reticence.

31. Alex Lahey, “The Answer Is Always Yes”

A big year for affirmations in pop (see#4, #26, #46), but (1) this one’s so intricate too, and (2) this one knows what it’s up against too.

32. The Hold Steady, “Grand Junction”

Metronomic, “Grand Junction” declines to shift its swing, which is no problem as it keeps on hitting.

33. Arlo Parks, “Dog Rose”

Arlo Parks writes pop songs with an undercurrent, love songs that threaten to get a bit weird.

34. Holly Humberstone and MUNA, “Into Your Room”

A late entrant: one that toys with overstatement, knows it sounds a bit overblown, but wants to say what it has to say anyway and see how it goes.

35. Young Fathers, “Holy Moly”

This sounds like 2006 to me, a sticky floor and cigarette smoke.

36. Heather Woods Broderick, “Seemed a River”

This song’s weirdly verbose, maybe it’s indecisive? Maybe it’s keeping secrets?

37. Pearla, “Flicker”

Circularity like the seasons, like the sunrise-sunset, like fresh starts, like the worms.

38. Sparklehorse, “The Scull of Lucia”

A grandiose sort of lullaby, making short work of squally seas.

39. Joy Oladokun, “Changes”

I go back and forth on this one: it feels tailored for the Obama playlist, but it still charms me; sometimes it seems too smooth for the ugly world it describes, but there are more egregious sins.

40. Quinnie, “Security Question”

A missed connection that spirals from a whim into a crisis: the entire problem of other minds “at some party I wandered to.”

41. Black Country, New Road, “Laughing Song (Live at Bush Hall)”

On Live at Bush Hall BC,NR continued to be our best worriers, biters of nails, pickers of scabs.

42. Blink-182, “More Than You Know”

If there’s nostalgia here, and there may be, it’s for “Easy Target” or “Stockholm Syndrome,” the careful use of melancholy, the harmonies, Travis Barker drumming like a submachine gun.

43. Vagabon, “Lexicon”

Vagabon’s a rare songwriter who’ll admit to speechlessness, dumbstruckness, stagefright. But some things are unsayable, some thoughts do need to be expressed in deeds.

44. Subsonic Eye, “Machine”

Go on then, make it seem effortless!

45. The Milk Carton Kids, “Star Shine”

I suspect this one’s too hard on itself—there are big lies and little lies, gentle ones and harsh ones, after all.

46. Sufjan Stevens, “Shit Talk”

Somewhere in the ’10s Sufjan became a permanent presence: a waystation, a landmark, a totem, and on Javelin you feel he cautiously started embracing that.

47. Indigo De Souza, “Losing”

It’s one thing to say “less is more”, it’s another to model brevity like this, to just fill two minutes and nineteen seconds with five- or six-word lines that describe all the details of one thought.

48. Fred Again.., “Winnie (Rosslyn Crescent)”

I’m still captivated by Fred Again..’s soundscapes, his windows into London kitchen-sink scenes, and how much he leaves unsaid.

49. Sofia Kourtesis, “Moving Houses”

Fractured images, shards of life, but Sofia Kourtesis seems confident things can be put back together.

50. Oneohtrix Point Never, “Nightmare Paint”

Not an album where you can pick out one song, of course, but if I had to it’d be this pew-pew space opera, brightly lit and smoothly running, letting the unknown in through the airlock.

#music #2023 #fenne lily #boygenius #anohni #caroline polachek #ratboys #julie byrne #feist #slaughter beach dog #yo la tengo #billy woods #kenny segal #doja cat #mitski #big thief #the antlers #lana del rey #the pines of rome #bonnie prince billy #lande hekt #james yorkston #nina persson #m83 #cmat #mannequin pussy #shit present #fever ray #girl ray #charlotte cornfield

[soundsandnoises]

PANIC! AT THE DISCO.

UTILITA ARENA, BIRMINGHAM (04/03/2023) & AO ARENA, MANCHESTER (10/03/2023)

VIVA LAS VENGEANCE TOUR/ FAREWELL TOUR

UTILITA ARENA, BIRMINGHAM (04/03/2023) & AO ARENA, MANCHESTER (10/03/2023)

VIVA LAS VENGEANCE TOUR/ FAREWELL TOUR

Some may understand this notion better than the others: When you say good bye to the band that has been a part of your life for 18 years it simply breaks your heart. It probably breaks the hearts of people directly involved with the band like crew, touring members, etc. more than yours, or in a different way. But it does. It's bittersweet, to say the least: it was supposed to be just another tour after release of another album, and then sometime in the middle of promotional cycle, not long before the tour was to begin the announcement shattered it all.

It leaves... certain numbness, I guess. These bands they become the family you chose, 'they're the hope, they're the prayer, when no one else is there'.

After all, this weird little cousin (to carry on with family metaphor), unafraid of anything, ever-changing, growing to become larger than life, one with a flair of the dramatic just stops existing. Sure, the music is still there, it will warm your heart when heart fails to beat on its own, but the live shows, the anticipation, the NEW music, a brand new phase... These won't be there. Ritual of sort is broken, becomes incomplete.

I suppose it's better to bow out when you're at your best (or shall I say: 'it's better to leave than be replaced'?) rather than become a repetition, a caricature of yourself... And Brendon managed to do exactly that. With brand new chapter opening for him – parenthood. His decision technically comes as a surprise, but it seems that clues were all there: "Viva Las Vengeance" sounds somewhat... final, when you have a real good listen. It's this intangible something hanging between words, creeping behind every note. I've heard this few times before (not knowing just yet that the album was about to be the last one from the band, it was just this “feeling” that became the reality soon after).

It must have taken an enormous toll on Brendon: all these years on the road, all the expectations ("Do It to Death"), but I wonder if fans realise the extent of it.

Just a mention really, in Birmingham, about how he was doing it for over 18 years carried a lot of weight, yet I'm not sure the fans noticed the heavy undertone. He thanked everyone involved: crew, band members, fans. Kept it to the minimum ('We've wrapped up this farewell tour for you'), sort of ripping the band-aid off: it's been a blast, a long road now's the time to shut up and go to bed [to paraphrase].

The tone surprisingly shifted in Manchester. Being named the loudest on tour, causing even more noise and cheers to which Brendon responded that he keeps on increasing the volume on his “box”, that it was already “up on 11, if that thing even goes to 11”, true or not it was extremely well received (duuh!) and appreciated. The word “appreciated” was the leitmotiv of the evening in Manchester and “gratitude”, too. That's what Brendon talked about during his last show: how grateful he felt, rather than overwhelmed, how he appreciated everyone who was there for Panic!, being it 18 years ('Thank you!'), 18 months or 18 seconds ('Welcome! And farewell!'). And shouting: 'Live life like it's your last day!' at the very end summed up the mood perfectly.

Even though I wish I could have heard some older songs for the last time live I wouldn't want to swap any of the ones that landed on the setlist. And it was only fair that whole “Viva Las Vengeance” was played for the first and last time live. It's a shame, they're absolutely fantastic live. Combining incredibly catchy tunes with poignant lyrics, little messages of hope and defiance (like these couple of lines from "Say It Louder": “When you got no place to call your home. Just remember how you felt at the show”). These are the anthems for the underdogs, misunderstood, misfits ("Star Spangled Banger" being great example here). But it seems that most of all it's about leaving a legacy behind. The right kind... You had to be there to feel the electric atmosphere. As I said: 'most of it', because there's a lot of manic, tongue in cheek lyrics too (there's whole lot of it in "Sugar Soaker").

Of course, I missed “The Ballad of Mona Lisa”, I would have loved to hear “Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have without Taking Her Clothes Off” or dance like mad to “Nicotine”. I could go on forever, but the evening only has so many hours and so does the show. The setlist was perfectly crafted: there was so many emotions (“I Write Sins Not Tragedies”) and so much to dance to (“Emperor's New Clothes”, “Don't Threaten Me with a Good Time”). And I wouldn't swap trippy singalongs on "Nine in the Afternoon" for anything else.

The show was long, rich, full bodied – like fine wine, leaving different notes to taste on your tongue. Melting hearts on “Don't Let the Light Go Out” (and crowd waving their phones up and down to the very line). Uniting and celebrating each other during “Girls/Girls/Boys” (with rainbow confetti showering the crowd, reflecting in the lights from the stage and thousands of paper hearts, lit up by phones' flashlights, lifted up throughout the crowd – in Birmingham Brendon laughed that fans vibed so much that it brought the confetti right back on stage and covered it all).

Singing so loud that the lungs gave out (oh, wait different band reference here): “I Write Sins, Not Tragedies” for the last time rolling through the crowd like a storm – both in Birmingham and Manchester (I must say, it was way louder and powerful in Manchester, it was deafening and beautiful). In Birmingham Brendon smirked and commented after: 'Oh, wow you really know the lyrics', in Manchester it seemed to blew his mind, big grin appeared as the crowd sang the cheeky lyrics. The show couldn't end better with 'High Hopes', on a high note indeed: the anthem, the perfect eulogy.

#

I was fortunate enough to see Panic! at the Disco more than once. I've heard Brendon take on Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' and ooof, was blown away by what he did with it (just a memory of it gives me chills, that good). I was fortunate enough to see him at meet and greet few years back. I remember his boyish charm spilling with every smile that he was giving to fans waiting in line to tell him their stories in less than a minute, to thank him... I remember him being attentive, humbled by each and every encounter. Act or no act, it was the moment I will cherish and keep forever as a precious memory, one of these “meet your heroes” moments. In the house of memories that keeps me going it has a very special place (oh, did I mention that “House of Memories” was so electrifying, it's such a mighty song live!).

[just to add some context to the photo above: image of touring crew/management]

Setlist:

Say Amen (Saturday Night)

Hey Look Ma, I Made It

Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time

This Is Gospel

Miss Jackson

Emperor's New Clothes

VIVA LAS VENGEANCE:

Viva Las Vengeance

Middle of a Breakup

Don't Let the Light Go Out

Local God

Star Spangled Banger

God Killed Rock and Roll

Say It Louder

Sugar Soaker

Something About Maggie

Sad Clown

All By Yourself

Do It to Death

Girls/Girls/Boys

House of Memories

Nine in the Afternoon

Death of a Bachelor

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies

Victorious

High Hopes

#panic! at the disco #panic at the disco #viva las vengeance tour #viva las vengeance #farewell tour #uk tour #birmingham #utilita arena birmingham #ao arena manchester #manchester #concert relation #concert review #concert photos #concert photography #music #rock music #pop music #rock #pop #indie pop #alt pop #emo #gig #show #concert #concert goer #brendon urie #i write sins not tragedies #rock show #don't threaten me with a good time

[terraxcloud]

Life

I'm sorry if I haven't been around/available/"there". This is probably the best time to actually "stay", but...at least I'm still around after so long. Outside of life and its ills, I was wondering about drawing an extremely dumb overly exaggerated comic starring Sherlotta getting Isekai'ed to the Desert Southwest. I just wanted to do it to make fun of Forspoken for fun. Don't think much of it right now.

You already know what I'm going to say about the FF7 Rebirth theme (spoiler) song...it's about Terra Branford and nobody will believe that, blah, blah, blah.

"No Promises to Keep" is a reference to the FF6 Opera's:

"Must I forget you? Our solemn promise? Will autumn take the place of spring? What shall I do? I'm lost without you. Speak to me once more!"

Why is Aerith singing a song about "promises"? Well, if Tifa sung the song, it would make a lot of sense (Midgar Blues doesn't fit Tifa in the same way)! Since Aerith sings the song, people will just become confused like always, but they'll inevitably think about the "End of Disk 1" moment and if Aerith will be "saved" despite 2 and 2 not coming together (to be fair though, Aerith doesn't really have promises, but why mention their existence if that's the case?). The only real notable promise that implies lasting longer than a scene (I think) is the one Aerith gives to Zack in Crisis Core where she wants to "sell flowers under the sky" with him (it hasn't happened yet, but why make the entirety of FF7 Rebirth have a theme song about that one thing?)

People only have this idea that she is either "saved" or "not saved" and that's the only thing that can happen outside of...Tifa getting the latter instead. If Aerith survives then the story is clearly changed (which they promised not to do). If she is not saved then...what's the surprise they're cooking at the end? If Tifa dies then it's clearly surprising since her most important part comes later and now she's gone...but then again, they would need to change the story! If Zack appears in the OG timeline, well, that would be way too much of a change and I don't believe that has any purpose in happening (not that it can't, but it makes no sense right now).

Why is everyone so focused on Zack anyway? Is Square-Enix just going to change the entire story just to make Zack be in the game doing stuff? Everyone is latching onto Zack like he's the solution to everything, but it's clear that a lot of the background story of Remake is being ignored...and almost every other game in the FF7 compilation and the series.

It has to be a surprise that's bigger than Zack's appearance, and the only thing I can anticipate that can trump that which isn't just "100% not hinted" is Terra's appearance. We are already thinking about Aerith and Tifa dying, but that's the thing...we're thinking about it! We weren't thinking about Zack before he magically appeared for no apparent reason! It's likely they did this so that they can do it again. What in the world can happen in FF7's universe that would be as surprising as a character not from FF7 appearing in it? Someone dying? That's not surprising, that's expected.

I already see comments how the song reminds them of FF6 and "Eyes on Me", a song about Squall and Rinoa...who are designed after Cloud's FF6 prototype and Terra (and their Dissidia story hints at FF8 connections because the love story from FF6 is a real thing that keeps being reused in other games in small chunks). Y'know, protecting people, flowers, orphans, pets, someone leaving just to return, being brainwashed, shooting stars, guy who wants to be a hero, witches, childhood friend, some guy who thinks he's better than the main character, yep.

The original promise comes from FF6. My working theory is that Tifa and Aerith's Midgar stories were once for one character (Terra). The main character of FF6 (who was cut) promises he'll protect Terra AND he also ends up saving her (in contradiction to FF7's promising one character but obsessing about not being able to save the other).

A "saving" part still exists (with Locke I guess), but Terra's story lacks a lot that it would have had with the missing character (the same one who became the main character of FF7). Other characters in FF inherited parts of Terra's missing story elements (those characters have "Moogle Girl" bangs with Eiko [Terra's childhood] and Sherlotta [Terra's cat (Tifa's Traces of Two Pasts hints that)] being the biggest).

This is the very beginning of Terra's story in the original Dissidia. The kid is "Onion Knight" from FF3 (NES) who is secretly representing Cloud as a child. Cloud ends up appearing to "save" Terra soon after in the center of the planet (basically where Cloud tells Tifa that "he'll meet her there" in the OG ending). Onion Knight is represented by "Oates" from FF7 Remake. Terra is looking at the stars when her story starts, which is another hint by Cloud...

This star appears in the FF6 Opera and became a story element in Tifa's promise scene before it was removed in FF7 Remake (it appears in FF8 because it's origin is the FF6 Opera, not FF7). Cloud is talking about Firion's dream to fill the world with Wild Roses, but he's just mocking it since it sounds "childish". And yeah, Cloud would end up sharing that dream with Terra during her Dissidia story since "Filling the World with Flowers" is cut from FF6 and no other character in FF does such a thing to that degree...those random fields of flowers in FF8, FF15, etc. are a symbol of this cut "dream" from FF6. There's a reason why Terra's clothes are full of them, y'know. Aerith's concept art lacks flowers btw. The story element in Crisis Core where Zack and Aerith have a dream to fill Midgar with flowers is and always was connected to Cloud & Terra's Dissidia scene because these four characters are connected. Zack is designed after Cloud and Aerith is designed after Terra. These things aren't the way they are for no reason.

Zack <- Cloud -> Sephiroth Aerith <- Terra -> Jenova

Zack is Cloud's friend. Sephiroth is Cloud's antithesis by design. Aerith is Terra's friend. Jenova is Terra's antithesis by design.

I'm jumping pretty far by saying Aerith is Terra's friend (they're designed after each other), and I know that, but my entire profile involves lots of "jumping". Don't make me start talking about the Phoenix Tower in FF5 where enemies that look similar to Aerith, Terra, and Jenova appear (designed by Nomura none-the-less)...I dislike talking about that.

Well, enough of that. I don't want to bore you. Aerith hints at a "surprise" in Remake when Cloud decides to pick...grass...for the orphanage.

"I gotta hand it to you, I never would've thought of that. It'll definitely take them by surprise."

The orphanage most notably represents Terra because how many characters have orphans in their story as much as she has? The white flower means loyalty, which is represented by a moogle...and Terra's represented by them a lot. The yellow one implies that Cloud will meet this person "some time in the future". You can't ignore that. At the point where the main theme of FF7 Rebirth is sung, Cloud has met every notable character in FF7 except Zack. The FF6 Opera and Loveless are about "meeting someone again after leaving/being left by them" and the "Midgar Blues" is about "leaving someone".

Does it make sense that it's Aerith? Aerith IS with Zack in his timeline and Aerith already did low-key reunite with Cloud when he fell from "heaven". How about Tifa? Perhaps in the beginning, but that's long gone now in her own words when she was talking to Cloud in Aerith's flower garden.

The Reunion is about Terra waiting for Cloud back in FF6 limbo as the song sung by Celes states. "Reunion" was originally a bad-guy story element with Sephiroth and Jenova, but Cloud and Terra represent the good side of it. "Hollow" states that instead of waiting, Terra herself will come to FF7R. That is the expectation and Zack's story allows this to happen as anything can happen there without ruining the OG story.

If there was a big change in the OG storyline then Zack's timeline didn't serve much, if any purpose! Why would they have made it then!?!

Yet, everyone's expecting some change to the OG storyline, so it's not surprising that they'll make it seem like that'll be a thing before or when the "surprise" happens. Let me just use the Aerith quote again:

"I gotta hand it to you, I never would've thought of that. It'll definitely take them by surprise."

I still feel that FFXIII-2 is the original rough-draft of Zack's storyline...we'll wait and see. Serah is clearly made after Terra and Lightning is made after Cloud, but was Noel made after Zack? He does come in a meteor and starts doing timeline changing stuff like it's his sworn duty, oddly enough.

I haven't tagged any posts recently...guess this will do.

There's something missing...oh yah.

This is when Cloud goes to look for a person who'll show him "the reason why he fights". The "That's a promise" crumb trail goes like this in order:

Aerith & Zack promise to sell flowers under the sky together. Of course, Zack dies and gives his sword to Cloud, which is the main storyline of Cloud's in Dissidia. Zack gave Cloud his "honor" and "dreams" (filling Midgar with flowers) along with the sword, but in Dissidia, Cloud doesn't understand why he has it.

Cloud promising the other FF protags that he'll return with an answer as to the reason why he fights (which he talks about at the end of FF7 with his "A very personal memory that I have".) He tries to skip over Sephiroth and he gets his crystal "the white materia", but he just continues onward to find his answer.

Onion Knight telling Terra that he'll "always protect her". Cloud then meets Terra after OK disappears and they converse about the flower dream which is similar to Zack and Aerith's in Crisis core before that first "That's a promise".

Cloud's "Reason to Fight" is to protect a person, and this was originally for Terra as that was the original promise hinted by the FF6 Opera. This is his "very personal memory"...it's very personal because only he knows it. To see that it was hinted all the way back in OG FF7 is surprising, but it is what it is. Cloud knows something he's not supposed to.

Thank you for reading this perspective.

#FF7 Rebirth #FFVII Rebirth #FF7R #FFVIIR #Clerra #FF7 #FFVII #FFVI #FF6 #Final Fantasy #Reunion

[misslauwie]

Why hold them to a different bar?

Am a baby army. And honestly I am not sorry to say that Jimin recruited me and hes my ultimate bias within the Group. Hence why I will write this post which I think also applies to the other members as well not just Jimin.

I do wonder sometimes why BTS fans hold BTS to an impossible standard? Been reading in the socmed where some have been criticizing JM for his lack of updates in social media. How then hes perceived and called the laziest member. & im indignant by those comments floating around on the internet. Because if you follow their story, lazy would be the farthest adjective to describe them. Each one of them.

Looking back for the past 10 years, they have produce more albums than Coldplay. Coldplay themselves have admitted it during one of the interview. And their songs broke language barrier by having beats that is so catchy you catch yourself singing along even though you cant speak Korean. And when you dig down to the meaning behind their songs / music, you find a message so profound and good that is much needed in the current time where people like to tear eo down behind anonymity.

So lets become a better human as Jimin always strive and lets learn to love better. They have teach us to love ourselves better and we owe it to them to love them better too. By giving them time and space to breathe and most importantly trust them that they will come back to us when they are ready.

If you are real army, you wont miss how much content they have provided for us for the last decade. Other idols / artists at least western ones dont even operate like BTS do. BTS have given the best 10 years of their youth to army. And even if Im a baby army, I feel sad sometimes coz surely they have their own needs too. Some says its occupational hazard. Is it really? Remember Chris Martin said that he feels protective of BTS coz they dont have the same freedom like other artists do. I agree with Chris.

Need to reiterate that they are more than just idols or comedians during Run eps to lift your moods up. They are brilliant musicians that comes only once in every generation. This is clearly shown by songs that they have produced individually. They love us enough to share their love to music.. dont sour it up and made them apathetic towards music because that will be the tragedy of the century.

Actually as much as I stan them and miss them and wait for new content. Sometimes I wonder if its fair to expect them to immediately come back as a group after their military duty. Even currently they are taking time to produce solo works and go to military one by one so that army can get contents. This is very heart warming. As Jimin said their argument within the group typically stem from how they feel about army. And now please lets pay it back and forward by giving them space and time and freedom to grow more beautifully in their 2nd chapter. A love that is stifling will stunt their growth instead of letting them florish.

Sometimes I wonder why they cant be like US musicians and also live a normal life. Because they are human first just like us. They have their own wants, needs, aspirations, family... Let them breathe and live life..

I really do feel that if more army send their assurances to each members that we will still be there waiting for them and love them and support them.. and they do not need to join the rat race... then they will be able to bloom even more brilliantly and will present us the best of their music that is even more stunning in colors from their rich life experiences. Remember they are musicians, artists.. and good art is not instant or made-to-order.

So lets stop second guessing what they are doing right now, why they are not hanging out w eo so much like previously. They live together for the better part of their teenage years. I do think its healthy that they branch out and have friendships / relationships outside of their group. If life teaches me something, some people that you have bonded especially in your younger days will stay through thick and thin even though you dont spend every waking moments with them. When you meet with them again you just click and bond again. Trust after this period of growth, their bond will continue to be strong. And who are we really to judge just from a glimpse of their lives thats pretty much curated for us to see?

I get it that BTS is inspiring and we love them so much because they are relatable. They are generous in terms of sharing their personal struggles and wins. And we should be grateful that they did. But its not a standard that we should hold them to for the rest of their lives.. They should be allowed their personal space to grow. Namjoon has said that KPoP doesnt allow them time to grow. Lets support them right now by giving them time to flourish individually.

Sorry for the ramblings but my heart just ache when I think that after 2 years of gruelling military duty where im sure its physically draining, mentally challenging.. we expect them to immediately become our personal entertainers by coming out as a group. I love them, i love their content, excited when they drop content but at the same time I dont want their "black swan" song to materialize.

If nothing else, pls realize that a musician or artist like BTS dont come in every generation. So please dont take them for granted and appreciate them.

#bts #btsjimin

[likesaly]

1BeatHeart Lyrical Analysis

Note - I'm not the best w analyzing poetry (I hate analyzing poetry w a burning passion) I could be a little off with some of this + Not to mention I have ELA State testing tmmrw so I'm using this as practice.

OP

To start off, it's pretty fair to say that Shinobu/Towa is the one singing. I've also compared the voices too (I'm aware its not the same VA for the game and op) but a small detail I like is the part where Shinobu is voiced ("...why don't you go talk with him?") is almost identical to the voice singing the OP.

Anyways, analysis time

The first 5 lines in the song are likely about what Towa is planning this time around at the attraction hotel. As he says in this, he causes issues while nobody notices he has anything to do with the cases at hand. The line, "such is the smoke clouding up this town..." probably refers to how he quickly manages to get away and succeed in executing most of his plans, it might also be alluding to what he truly looks like.

The next 3 lines is just Towa describing his general relations with people as a whole. I'm not surprised he seems hella condescending as that's pretty much how he is implied to truly act if not manipulating people (i.e; "Well! Fantastic! Wonderful! That's deserving of praise!", "What are you so angry about? ...Oh Well.", "...It's interesting just how many people in this country can't forgive themselves." etc.)

The last line in this also implies more on how he just finds most people to be foolish and it makes sense considering how he mainly needs to talk to people in order to get them going in a dark path for his entertainment. The verse in general builds more personality for players/viewers to see as we explore the nature of the true culprit throughout the game. This whole verse in general seems to be a red herring considering we don't really look back at this but it is still vital to his character.

I know Towa says, "There is no why" to what he's doing but however he does always seem to have quite the eye for doing "justice" for other people in unethical ways. This verse is just pure foreshadowing at the end. Not to mention Towa's face finally being shown for once, which also foreshadows the last conversation with him in game. The last line in this is a double entendre; it refers to Towa's view on what justice truly is + also refers to Towa's mind control / his words having a pleasant feeling due to being a good manipulator.

The next verse is where Misane and Nanase are shown again dancing. The first line is foreshadowing the "...Goodbye." scene at the game's "resolution". The "you" in question most likely refers to Misane. Considering, that Shinobu almost had Misane kill Nanase implies that he wants something from her. (I'm not too sure what he'd want from Misane though but I'll just leave it there since I'm really not sure). This line could also be foreshadowing Shinobu giving Misane advice or dropping hints in general.

The last verse in the opening pretty much alludes again to what Towa's job is; Having people drown in his words to get them into committing murder out of a sense of justice. The last line's probably about how he pretty much can make it as if he has the most control over in conversations. It also plays back into that condescending tone.

All in all, that's all I have to say about the opening now let me get into the ending.

ED

Right off the bat, I'm pretty sure the general consensus/reception of the cover of Greedy Girl being great just out of character for Nanase and Misane. Considering, what we know about 1BeatHeart's plot; safe to say Towa is once again indirectly involved in this one. Towa is all about people enacting on their immoral desires and Greedy Girl is literally about a girl indulging in her desires.

With that out of the way, I'm going to break this down, I'm specifying who's singing to make things easier;

The first verse is sung by Misane. These lines do very much fit her character as she is implied to have grown up too fast having to pretty much forcing herself to stay calm and still needs to learn about healthier ways of thinking, managing the world around her, her emotions, etc. The last line also shows Misane isn't someone who fantasizes much about things like these and is pretty cooled down to reality at hand.

The second verse is sung by Nanase. These lines also stay true to Nanase's character; more so focusing on how he knows things he doesn't know and wants to learn more and more. The third line could alluding to people's thought's and how he can read them as well, making as if their thoughts also belonged to Nanase. The last line is definitely an extended metaphor considering it is about how Nanase can know exactly what someone could want and his selflessness as shown throughout 1bitHeart.

The third verse is sung by Misane. We are now approaching out of character behavior in the second, third and last lines of this verse. Those line allude to exactly how Misane thought/acted when she was being mind controlled in chapter 3; Forgetting her moral compass, almost killing Nanase while getting uneasy as heard in game by the constant beating of her heart.

The fourth verse is sung by both Misane and Nanase. I personally don't think Nanase is being mind controlled but this is Misane's altered view of Nanase while she was being mind controlled. The whole verse is filled with double entendres; The first two lines being how Misane believes Nanase was the one behind the Third Party Murders and beleived how that's how he beleieved things to be, as well as Misane's exploited hatred at the thought of the true culprit to almost get her to murder Nanase. While as the last two lines refer to what they were thinking at the set place and time they both were at (i.e. Misane coming back from talking with Shinobu to talk with Nanase, Nanase's investgation being over, in Nanase's case the you can also definetly be related to the true culprit).

The fifth verse is sung by Nanase. I don't have much to say but more so how Nanase greets Misane after finishing his investigation when she comes back; Cheery and sing-song like before realizing something is off with Misane.

The sixth verse is sung by Misane and Nanase, but sperately instead of together. Nanase's lines is referring to the realization of something happening to Misane when she talks to him again. Misane's lines refers to how in her mind controlled state she seems as if talking to Nanase is pointless.

The last verse is sung by Misane and Nanase, with Misane singing the last line. The lines where the duo sing together is another double entendre; Nanase trying to comfort Misane while in her mind controlled state, Misane finally coming to her senses and wanting to not solve this case on her own. The last line referring to how she doesn't want Nanase to confront Shinobu on his own either.

Honestly the ED ties in really well into the game the more I look at it!

Thats all I have to say for now! Thank you for reading!

#1beatheart #1bh #nanase yoshi #yoshi nanase #mikoto misane #misane mikoto #kasuga shinobu #shinobu kasuga #haruka towa #towa haruka #cyril.txt

[signor-signor]

The 27th of another month. 74 months after my favorite cartoon show was canceled. Ordinarily, Trending 27th would be happening, but it’s been downplayed as of late. However, there is something that’s resonated with me since SaveWOY’s heyday, long before we heard about Kid Cosmic and its being made at Netflix.

I’m not sure what happened, but a fan video by fluffy-raccoon-artist (formerly cerise-the-traveling-artist) called “SaveWOY: The Story So Far” is gone. It came out on March 31, 2017, and I think it’s been absent for the past 2 years or so. Fortunately, I have much of the dialogue memorized. I also remember the fellow who voiced Wander tried the best he could to channel Jack McBrayer accent-wise. If you see the name Cerise, that’s the artist herself depicted as her ‘WOY-sona.’ A real world person as a non-canon character, if you will.

Cerise: (to a cat onscreen) Oh, Biscuit! Shoo! Get out of the frame!

Wander: Wasn’t that a little mean? I mean, he wasn’t bothering anyone.

Cerise: Yeah, I know, but he’d still distract you.

(Title)

Wander: Well, hi there, you fine internet goers! Folks call me Wander, and I’m ever so thrilled that you clicked on this here video! Why? Well, lemme tell ya! I just so happen to come from this cute little cartoon show called Wander Over Yonder, which just so happens to be one of the many WONDERFUL creations of… Drumroll, please.

Cerise: Oh! Oh, oh, right, right.

(Drumroll)

Wander: … Craig McCracken! The very same mastermind behind such classics as The Powerpuff Girls and Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. And believe it or not, while he was working on those two amazing shows, he was also doodling little ol’ me in his sketchbook, buuhhhht that’s not what this video is about. It’s about the show and just how great of a show it is. Okay, so this show is about me and my best pal Sylvia, traveling the universe and helping folks, with the occasional saving of an entire planet or a space worm trying to eat us, all while being chased by the fierce Lord Hater and his army of Watchdogs. You see, Hater’s the villain of the peace, but in reality, he’s just a big softy who just really wants attention.

Lord Hater: No I’m NOT!

Wander: Did I mention the music and the animation? Because it’s simply… AMAZING! Not to mention that this little show won three Annie Awards.

Cerise: And Weird Al plays a character in Season 2. He even gets a song.

Wander: The songs! Oh, how could I forget? Yes! This show has so many lovely songs! We even got an entire musical episode! This show has so many amazing things and so much potential! Too bad that… Disney canceled it. Yes, as sad as it is, Disney felt that two seasons were enough for our little show, much to the crew’s disagreement. They had a whole third season planned out, and it would’ve wrapped everything up in a perfect little bow. Of course, Craig and his hard-working crew tried their hardest to convince Disney to let them have a third season, but alas, it was no use. Now you all might be thinking, “Why are you telling us this?” “How can we help?” Well, I am so happy to say that the answer will be in the next video. Or if you’re impatient, in the description of THIS very video. Well, that was all for now. I hope to see you fine folks again real soon.* Bye!

*I’m not sure if this is how the line went, but just bear with me.

This “answer,” of course, turned out to be sending letters to Disney during the holidays in 2018. I must have sent roughly 8 total during that time.

If there’s a song that pretty much sums up how much I wish for WOY to be given the same amount of fairness given to the DTVA shows that got way too much love and/or more than two seasons, it’s “Waiting on a Miracle,” sung by Mirabel (Stephanie Beatriz) in Encanto. I immediately thought thought of everything SaveWOY has been trying to do when I first experienced the song and got a grasp of Mirabel’s longing to have a special gift since she’s a descendant of the Family Madrigal.

I realize the video might be a little dated, but the message is still clear. WOY is still incomplete, and it could surely be just as influential as most of DTVA’s overappreciated shows if Disney’s current bosses give it a chance.

While we’re on the subject, I have watched Seasons 1 and 2 for the 8th time on Disney+ on my one-season-per-month run. As glad as I was that WOY got a second season, I still don’t think two seasons are enough for the show. Any true fan would be quick to realize Fish Hooks, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, Amphibia, and any other 11-22-minute episode show that got more than two seasons have more episodes than WOY does. Heck, I’m pretty sure the people who worked on those more fortunate shows never had to try their hardest to convince Disney to let the shows have their third season. At this point, I’d still settle for a PDF attachment of the plans for Season 3 even if it means ruling out “movement, music, and McBrayer” among other things. We fans must keep support for the show alive regardless of Craig’s current status with Cartoon Network.

That being said, I’ll be taking a little break from watching WOY - I have started taking an online master’s program in art and technology, so I’ll need to focus for the next few months. If any of you fans out there have Hulu and/or Disney+ and a whole lot of time on your hands, give the show tons of viewership. Maybe in time, you’ll come up with theories about S3, uncover more clues online, and create your own interpretation of Star Force Enforcement Force, like I did.

#Wander Over Yonder #SaveWOY