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1nyourdr34ms · 2 months

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baby, you're so mean

+18 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

pairing: mark x virginfem!reader

synopsis: you and mark know each other since middle school, but you always thought of him as a loser and he hated you for that. one day you meet again as college students, but mark is and looks completely differently which gets you confused until you realize you're head over heels for him.

genres: smut (!), enemies to lovers

warnings: fem!reader wears revealing clothes, mark is kinda bad here (at least his point of view to some topics), he smokes, unprotected sex (BUT YOU PROTECT. PLEASE. ALWAYS!), toxic kinda relationship, vulgar language

mark and you have known each other since you were fresh teens. he is and was always too aware of your beauty and attractiveness. he knows exactly how you can light up the room when you smile. that radiant smile of yours... mark also knows how much you love lemon cake, and has noticed your sadness when someone is treated unfairly.

but beyond that, and he is all too aware of this, he has intensely studied your body. he has attentively observed how your juicy butt sway sensually when you did rope jumping in front of him in gym class. or how seductive your cleavage always looks when you bend over to get a notebook from your bag.

were you a girl that all the boys in school dreamed of? definetely.

were you a girl that mark dreamed of as a love interest? not exactly.

despite all these enticing observations, mark could never really stand you. your mothers were good friends, and you were neighbors since childhood, meaning you have actually known each other forever.

but you never truly paid him any attention. no matter how friendly he was to you, you were mostly reserved in his presence. a friendly smile was the most you would give. and even worse, at school, you acted as if you didn't know each other at all, although you practically grew up together. you treated him as if he were invisible.

instead, you gave your attention to the 'hotter' and 'more popular' boys in your class or school. at least, that was marks perception. with them, you act entirely different than you would be with him. you were popular, had excellent grades, and got on well with everyone, but never gave mark a bit of your attention. more than enough reasons, why he hated you!

after graduation, family lee, decided to move to another city which was 25 miles away from your house. for them, it was professionally advantageous, as mrs. lee had found a more promising position in her field, and mark became the opportunity to go to the university he had desired.

it was a mild summer evening when you went down the stairs to the living room and found that your mother was not there. you looked out the window and saw your mother talking to mrs. lee, while mark was loading suitcases into his car. then it struck you like a bolt of lightning: mrs. lee said goodbye to your mother for good.

you rushed to the porch to join the farewell. 'i am terribly sorry, mrs. lee. i completely forgot that you were leaving tonight,' you explained with a concerned smile.

mrs. lee smiled broadly. 'no problem, dear. we're still here,' she reassured you. you hugged her warmly, while mark only received a blunt 'take care, mark' from a distance from you. you didn't even look to his direction properly.

'what a...', mark thought, and hurried to the driver's seat of his car, before he could think about it for too long.

to him, you were just a... well, a 'bitch', a 'hoe' whatever. one who sought the attention of boys, who hung around and slept with the biggest idiots of the school.

he didn't deny that he found you beautiful and attractive, but you were and would never be more valuable to him.

the only thing that connected you both was your mothers. apart from that, you were fundamentally different as individuals.

he came from an educated, wealthy household, while you in your childhood hoped that your mother had enough money to visit an amusement park next month.

thanks to your mother's promotion at her job, you reached a turning point in your life. just before high school, everything changed for you both. you moved to a new area, bought a house, your mother had a successful career, you did super well in school, and now you live happily together.

mark couldn't help but feel a deep aversion to the indifference you had shown him, an ignorance that offended his ego and challenged his pride at the same time.

he sat in the driver's seat of his car and waited for his mother. he allowed himself a glance in the rearview mirror to watch you. despite his hatred, he found it difficult to resist your seductive aura.

he saw the way your hair fell playfully around your shoulders every time you tilted your head, the slight sparkle in your eyes that remained alive even in your absence, the way your smile warmed the surrounding atmosphere, the way your breasts moved slightly up and down every time you made short jumps of excitement, the way your waist line was in perfect proportion to your wide, defined hips.

the view of you was torture for him because, for the young man, you were something he deeply desired but loathed on principle.

as mark's mother got into the car, he started the engine, took one last look at you, and drove away, unaware that your paths would cross again in an unexpected turn.

you never saw mark again after that - which was lucky for you because you actually hated him!

he was the perfect neighbor kid that your mom compared you to. she would always say things like "look, mark got an a in chemistry class, i expect the same from you…" or "mark is such a smart guy, he got his driver's license at his first try…" or "oh, mark is such a sweet child and accompanies her mom to church every sunday… you should take an example of him."

an example from the boring, loser boy… yeah, sure, mum.

she was only obsessed with mark because he was her bestie's boy. otherwise, he wouldn't have been an issue in your family at all and you would surely have had your peace of mind.

so good for you that the alleged perfect boy, who in reality was nothing but a boring, unattractive loser, finally disappeared from your neighborhood.

let's switch to today, 5 years later, a lot has changed in your life over the past few years.

you are about to graduate from university with a degree in bioengineering and are just a few steps away from moving to a big city, you have been dreaming of since forever, and starting a new, free, independent life.

unfortunately, for your liking, this small, dull town limited your opportunities and potential to do more with your life.

a big city should change this obstacle.

so your dream was to rent a cute little apartment, find a job with excellent pay, meet the love of your life, and start a family.

you were a romantic at heart. even if it was hard to believe from the outside because everyone rather thought of you as a hoe - which you were completely aware of.

but you were also a girl, who believed in true love and the magic of starting your own family.

sadly, you haven't had much luck in your love life so far because most of the male species in your life only wanted to fuck your body.

accordingly, there was no suitable male with whom you could experience your first, real relationship. there was also no one with whom you could experience your first time in bed, which you wanted it to be special.

yep. surprise, surprise! the super-hot girl with the super-hot, sex-appealing figure from school was actually something between a virgin and a celibate!

of course nobody knew.. you were outstanding at making out, not shy to let your breasts get sucked or eagerly suck their dick, so nobody really questioned it.

whenever it was close for the male to stick his dick into you, you always offered them to give a blow-job and do it for real the next time. somehow, it always worked.

but you wanted to lose your virginity status before leaving this city forever. only, to make a good memory and as a form of farewell to your old life in this city.

sometimes, you fantasize about meeting your future partner. he would probably be a manly man with a lot of charisma who can make you happy, protect, and satisfy you.

but that was all fantasy at first.

today you were invited to a house party thrown by the super-hot fellow student johnny.

you knew he was ready to fuck you whenever or wherever. you could tell from his eyes and his countless boners whenever you two studied together - or johnny tried to study when he wasn't busy staring at your boobs.

you could literally run him around on your finger because of that.

and this kinda behavior was undoubtedly what put you off from having sex. as soon as you sensed that a man was an easy target, drooling over you, you lost interest and the desire to jump into bed with them.

at the party, you and johnny were sitting in the small kitchen of his parents' house. you're wearing a short, tight, black miniskirt that showed off your thighs and embraced your juicy butt. a matching tank top that slightly revealed your stomach and breasts, and over that you've put on a black bomber jacket.

he talked your ear off for 15 minutes about his plans for the future, how he's going to work in his father's company in a high position of responsibility and earn a lot of money.

by contrast, you have been mentally planning your excuse to head home. this party has been a complete waste of your time.

completely dazed by your thoughts, all the noise from the music, the conversations of the guests and the diffuse atmosphere in the room, you only realized now that you could feel johnny's breath on your neck.

which was a sign for you to instinctively step back. you took a look at him and noticed his lustful eyes. whatever mood he was on, you could unfortunately not feel it.

you smiled briefly and politely excused yourself to the living room. johnny is definitely not going to be the planned candidate to take away your virginity status.

as soon as you entered the living room, the music got louder, also the volume of the conversations as well as the physical distance of the guests got even more intense.

you sighed and cast a quick glance around the room to find a good place to relax.

all of a sudden, your gaze lingered on the far corner of the room as you recognized the familiar face of someone you thought you had long buried away.

sitting on the couch, was none other than the old shadowless boy next door, mark lee. he was sitting in a group of three students together, laughing heartily and clearly having fun.

you recognized the two students in front of him, jeno and yuta from your uni. but who was the girl right next to him?

unanticipated, in the middle of the living room among the crowd of students having fun, you stood frozen on the same spot, trying to both identify the girl and understand what mark was doing at this party.

was he even the same mark you once knew?

he looked so… different, which, to your surprise, certainly did something to you.

suddenly, you were oblivious to all the noise in the house and felt like you were submerged underwater.

your perception became numb, and you could only perceive mark clearly. without being able to logically understand why his presence had caused such a shock state in your mind and body.

mark was sitting too close to the girl, their knees were touching and she was clutching his arm. was she his girlfriend?

apart from her, mark was the one who excited you with his whole new aura: his hair, his masculine jaw line, his physique, his moving… nothing resembled the shady old boy from your neighborhood anymore.

he looked so damn attractive and appealing to your eyes.

you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't recognize johnny's presence behind you until it was too late. he had long since grabbed your hips and stroked his member lightly on your body.

when he noticed how motionless you were, he followed your gaze and raised his eyebrows in surprise. "mark lee?" he murmured.

you looked up at him in surprise? how the hell did johnny suh know mark lee?

johnny was a hugely popular student at your university. he came from the ivy league, was mega sporty and worked as a model on the side.

while mark, was a mama's boy who mostly stayed in the background, listened well to his parents, joined the church choir and lived by the rules.

what timeline were they living in that their paths would cross?

the equation just didn't add up in your head.

he turned away from you with a beaming, happy face and staggered slightly in mark's direction, affected by the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

johnny willingly goes over to talk to him and leaves you behind?!

"mark lee, what's up, man?" he shouted gleefully. mark's face also brightened when he saw johnny. "yo, johnny, dude, what's up?" he returned his greeting and held out his fist.

the two exchanged brief words until johnny turned around, presumably looking after you in the crowd.

you proactively made your way over without letting him look for you any longer.

johnny immediately put his hand on your hip when he noticed you next to him. you glanced at mark, who looked rather preoccupied with the female companion next to him, to even notice your presence.

"he-heeeey, y/n!" yuta shouted, getting up to hug you.

the sound of your name finally woke mark up, causing him to look up at you in amazement and confusion.

yuta quickly got a chair for you and johnny so that you could sit down. he positioned your chair as close to him as possible.

you thanked him with a smile, sank into the chair, and crossed your legs, which made your miniskirt go a little higher. mark studied you thoroughly with his black eyes. from top to bottom. his eyes slowly traveled from your neck, to your breasts, to your stomach, to your legs and finally to your feet. he completely took you in with his eyes.

you couldn't understand why, but you liked the attention he showed you. it gave pleasant butterflies in your stomach.

as soon as he realized that you had caught him in his act, he averted his gaze and took a sip from his glass, which you found amusing.

the girl next to him clung to him tighter, when she noticed his eyes were glued on you.

the whole night you were being hit on by yuta, jeno and johnny. you had all their attention except for mark. the one you were most interested in at the moment.

his little attention, in the beginning, was all he could give to you because he didn't even glance at you for a moment afterward.

instead, he was busy making out with the girl next to him for the whole night.

eventually, the night ended without anything special happening.

johnny and yuta fought with each other to walk you home, but you insisted on driving home alone and were glad that they didn't insist any longer.

on your way back home, you couldn't help but think about mark.

was he always so attractive and you were too blind to recognize it or did he go through a second puberty?

either way, you couldn't get his dark eyes out of your head, the way he looked at you, the way his lips curled into a heart-melting smile, whenever he told something, the veins in his arms whenever he clutched his glass and his pointed jawline.

and the way his mouth moved sensually as he kissed the girl next to him. god… you wondered how his lips would feel if you kissed him... your cheeks heated up at the thought.

holy crap, who would have thought that the nice, silent kid from your neighborhood, would make your insides shake like crazy?

is uni even uni if you don't have to attend a zoom meeting for the smallest occasions?

presently, you were preparing to attend a zoom meeting to meet the team for your research internship.

it was the last practical part of your master's degree program before graduation.

you were informed that it was a small working group in microbial and molecular transformation. in about five minutes, you were about to meet your internship supervisor and other colleagues.

so after straightening your hair and applying make-up, you opened your laptop and clicked on the zoom link provided.

a few seconds later, the counselor's contact window appeared. you smiled politely and looked up to the small screens to see how many people were present.

along with the tutor, there were three other people present: someone named alex, someone named giselle and someone named mark.

when you read the name, you immediately thought of a certain person, but quickly put the thought out of your mind because it would be impossible for him to be-

suddenly, the student's video window took on texture and color, causing you to almost lose your breath when you realized that it was indeed the mark you had in mind.

he was wearing a black beanie, glasses, a white shirt, and an olive green jacket. even in this state, inexplicably, he managed to raise your pulse.

throughout the meeting, you occasionally glanced at his screen to check him out. most of the time he was attentive, bending his head to probably do something on his phone, and when he spoke, he spoke so confidently and sympathetically that it warmed your heart.

he exuded a cool, confident, personable demeanor that you wouldn't associate with him before. mainly, he shared his thoughts about the project, they were working on.

as soon as it was your turn to introduce yourself, you noticed that he switched to a poker face, while everyone else was patiently listening to you, and he even reached for his cell phone while you were still talking. kinda rude… was he ignoring you on purpose?

despite his uncertain behavior, you tried to be not intimidated and delivered a confident introduction to the team.

you wished he had shown you more attention, but that wouldn't have been possible via zoom anyway.

two days later, the first day of your internship had arrived. on a sunny day, you walked from the university parking lot to the research building with zero expectations in your mind.. you would be glad to just finish this internship and graduate soon.

you were wearing a gray, thin, knitted sweater with long sleeves and a wide, square neckline that slightly exposed your shoulders and showed your bra strap. the sweater was cut short and ended above your waist, revealing part of your stomach. to match, you were wearing a pair of black jeans with a high waist, tight fit and a hemline just above your belly button.

as you approached the building, in front, you noticed a male figure smoking. the closer you got, the more you could identify him as being mark.

wow, who would've thought, it would be that easy to see him here.

he was wearing a casual, long-sleeved shirt with a checkered pattern of dark and light blue tones and dark blue jeans that emphasized his casual look.

you immediately recognized his dark, expressive eyes and the way his facial muscles contracted whenever he pulled on the tilt of his cigarette.

the younger y/n would've never have guessed that mark would smoke someday...

he seemed to continue his game of ignoring you, never turning his head in your direction and trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible.

while you, in contrast, looked straight at him as clearly as possible as you almost reached the door.

you two were standing in a line as you held out your arm to open the door. you leaned back to pull the heavy door, but your movements were slow since you were hoping he'd give you a small glance in this small encounter.

he took one last drag from his cigarette and briefly glanced over at you before throwing it on the floor and extinguishing it with his right foot.

you were already in the building and couldn't help, but smile at the small, insignificant interaction. the tension between you two was starting to appear slowly, but you were 100% sure, that he was deliberately ignoring you.

as you walked down the long hallway to find the office where you were supposed to arrive, you heard footsteps behind you, coming closer and closer.

you stopped in front of room "c9" and checked your cell phone again before knocking in, to make sure you were in the right place.

the document you had saved on your phone, took ages to open, but then suddenly you noticed a figure in front of you, who tried to unlock the door.

mark.

"you're here for the internship, right?" you hear him say without looking at you.

"um, yes, exactly," you answer.

he opened the office door, and you followed him, although he did not properly invite you in. inside the office, there was no one else besides you two. you found a table, that seemed to be free and put your bag down.

"we've come to the conclusion that you work in alex' team. just like me. giselle is pretty closely involved in three projects this semester, so she can't make time to supervise you. that's why we're taking on this task," he explained to you as he booted up his computer without looking at you.

you simply nodded and sat there uncomfortably. one thing for sure, he had certainly managed to make you uncomfortable. great!

to break the strange silence in the room, you asked if alex was also working in the room. unfortunately, mark just nodded and hummed.

he only opened his mouth, when he had something to say, that was necessarily work-related; like when he e-mailed your weekly tasks.

for the next 40 minutes, silence captured the office, while you two were working.

mark looked pretty focused. a little too focused for your liking.

unfortunately, you, on the other side, could do anything, but focus on your work.

not, when his appearance was enough to distract you. at the same time, several question marks formed in your head as to why he was ignoring you so blatantly. he acted as if you two were strangers, or as if he would hate you. it made no sense, why he would think like that.

if he didn't recognize you from the past, he should at least be friendly to a supposed stranger.

while you were busy with these thoughts, suddenly, the door opened wide. "shit, traffic jam!", alex entered the room. you turned around and gave him a smile. mark didn't even move from his position.

when alex recognized you, he smiled widely. "aaah, the new intern. hello, i'm alex." he held out his hand. you stood up and shook his hand, smiling as you introduced yourself.

"it's a pleasure," he looked at you longer than allowed with a grin and squeezed your hand lightly.

of course you were aware of this annoying gesture, looked like, unwillingly you caught another guys' attention.

there was no progress between you and mark all day. he worked like a workaholic on his computer, while alex occasionally got up and leaned over your shoulder to "help" you with your tasks.

after a while, alex disappeared upstairs to attend another meeting, leaving you and mark alone in the office again.

mark got up and walked to the bookshelf. you took the situation as an opportunity and followed him. when he turned around, you had already blocked him; standing in his way.

"why are you ignoring me?" you asked directly. mark looked surprised. "excuse me?" he mumbled.

"you. you're ignoring me. there is no way, you didn't recognize me. we know each other from the past. from school. you act as if you don't know me," you cleared out, crossing your arms.

mark slowly lowered his gaze to your arms. you could see that he was clenching his jaw and deliberating.

"but i have to admit…" you suddenly exclaimed, causing mark to look at you again.

"that even i had difficulties recognizing you. you look different." you said quietly and moved a step closer. "fairly different." you looked into his eyes with a smile.

mark paused for a moment, his eyes fixed on you. "well, that's usually what time does. some change for the better, while some…" he said with a dry undertone.

you raised your eyebrows while you waited for him to finish his sentence. you didn't remember that his voice was so attractive.

mark decided not to finish his thought and looked directly at you. "um, it doesn't really matter. you really should-"

"do you have a girlfriend?"

the question left your mouth without a warning. you had become so lost in his eyes, captivated by his masculine energy and enveloped by the subtle scent of his perfume, that you just had to ask.

mark seemed visibly shocked by your sudden question. his eyes widened for a moment before he caught himself.

"a girl..friend?" he repeated as if he needed to process your words first.

then he sighed. a looong, deep sigh. "why the hell should you care?"

you noticed how his words made the air between you crackle even more. his natural reaction, so surprising and genuine, only drew you closer to his aura.

so you leaned forward a little, your eyes fixed on his, and with a whisper, you said: "because i need to know if there is someone i need to compete with. or if i'm the only one who has the privilege of making you nervous like this."

your words were challenging. you were standing very close to him, close enough to feel his breath. close enough to smell his smoked cigar.

mark only looked at you and raised his eyebrows, visibly confused and at the same time challenged by your directness.

he took a step back to create some distance between you two. his gaze became penetrating, almost cutting.

"competitor? privilege?" his voice was cool, almost sharp. "you still think the universe revolves around you, don't you?"

you could feel how his words triggered a mixture of attraction and repulsion in you. you've never experienced this feeling with a man before.

"you're wrong, y/n" it was the first time you heard your name coming out of his mouth, and you loved it.

mark took a deep breath. "it's the other guys who fall at your feet. that… that's definitely not me," he said sharply.

you couldn't help but smile, fascinated by his determination.

your eyes sparkle with curiosity as you lean forward. "oh yeah? then, who are you, mark? tell me how 'different' you are from others." your voice was flirty and playful.

"i saw exactly how you looked at me at the party."

mark gulped visibly, as if he was preparing himself, to give you an answer. but you could notice, that you made him slightly nervous with your remark.

for a moment there was an intense silence in which you looked deeply into each other's eyes. just as the tension became almost palpable, the door opened with a loud squeak.

alex re-entered the room, completely unaware of what happened of your interaction. "so, back to the cave! y/n, how's the text going?"

his cheerful voice broke the silence, and brought you and mark back to the present.

mark took a step forward, his eyes leaving yours as he marched back to his table.

you turned around, a smile on your lips. "i'm coming!" you shouted.

the next three weeks were unspectacular. mostly, mark focused on his work the whole time and alex never let you do your work alone, because you'd need "supervision", which made it difficult for you, to interact with mark again.

one day you walked back into the building again while you were reading the message in the workgroup that alex had sent.

he would not be present today because he was sick. when you read the message, your heart soared, impatient to see mark in the office.

you walked down the corridor to the office while he ran towards you.

he seemed to be leaving the office. but when he saw you, he left the door wide open. you looked at him questioningly, while he gestured that he was going out for a smoke.

another good thing about the office was, apart from the fact that mark worked here, that it allowed a view of the smoking area.

mark was leaning casually against the wall, a cigarette between his fingers. he was wearing black jeans and a white, casual shirt. so basic, but so hot at the same time.

he took a slow drag on his cigarette, and every time he exhaled, the smoke formed a little side haze in front of his face. you watched the whole scene as if it were playing out in slow motion in front of you.

mark occasionally brushed his hair out of his face with the back of his thumb, showed a small frown when he was thinking, or occasionally looked off into the distance as if lost in his thoughts.

you positioned your chin in your hand, while the thought germinated in your mind that there was much more behind mark's tough façade than you had seen so far. his calm, almost thoughtful manner as he stood there had an almost magnetic effect on you.

you wanted to find out what was going on in his head, what he was feeling…

when mark had finished his cigarette, he threw it on the floor and stubbed it out. he turned around and noticed through the window that you had been watching him.

your eyes met for a moment, your heart skipped a beat.

mark broke the eye contact with a neutral look and made his way to the office.

your internship would end in 5 weeks and it was not clear whether you would still meet mark afterwards or whether alex would give you the space to be alone again in those 5 weeks.

so today was crucial. you thought about how you could get closer to him and an idea came to you.

you walked to the nearest café and bought some light food for lunch. you planned to have lunch with mark at the office and hoped to make some progress.

the murmur in the hallway revealed that the other people were making their way to the cafeteria. you glanced at mark, who also seemed intent on eating in the cafeteria.

before he got up, you intervened. "wait, how about we have lunch here?"

mark, just about to put on his jacket, pauses when he hears your suggestion. his gaze wanders indecisively from you to the door and back again.

at that moment, you take a few packets out of your bag and spread them out on the small table at the back of the office.

"i got sandwiches and salad," you say with a smile and raise your eyebrows innocently.

"it's not a proper lunch, but it's better than what's served in the canteen. besides, it's quieter here."

you watch mark closely and notice how his gaze briefly falls on the food.

he's still hesitant. he doesn't think it's a bad idea in itself, but eating alone with you was pretty risky.

"come on, mark. it's not like i'm going to bite you,"

unless you ask me to…

mark looks at you hard for a moment before sighing and finally nodding. "alright, but for your information, i'm not a big fan of sandwiches."

you smile triumphantly and point to the chair opposite. "sit down, i promise it won't be that bad."

no wonder why people say, that the unique opportunity we seek lies within ourselves. and the opportunity you were seeking was to be alone with mark, who should of course would be working.

the break lasted 45 minutes in total. a period of time that was crucial to your success.

you rolled up your sleeves to get a sandwich out of the bag. you wore a long-sleeved, slightly see-through, figure-hugging white top with a u-neckline that slightly exposed your shoulders. you wore a classic pair of blue jeans in a five-pocket style that emphasized your hips.

you sat next to each other and ate your sandwiches.

your happy face could hardly hide the fact that you had this rare opportunity to eat alone with mark.

you sneaked glances at him as he ate his sandwich and noticed the way he occasionally furrowed his eyebrows whenever he took a bite of the sandwich.

"did you actually move back to the neighborhood after you… well, moved away with your mom?" you asked cautiously, hoping to learn a little more about him.

mark, who had just taken a bite of his sandwich, paused.

his gaze hardens and he slowly puts his sandwich down. "y/n, i really appreciate the food and the silence," he says in an almost cool voice. "please don't let us cross the personal line."

you feel a slight disappointment rising inside you, sigh, but don't let it discourage you.

the two of you continued your lunch in silent suspense.

suddenly marks cell phone vibrates on the table. he hesitates for a moment as he looks at the display before picking it up.

"yes, i'm listening," his posture changes as he listens, he straightens up and his voice sounds business-like.

you can't help but get curious. it was a female voice.

you listen to the female voice on the other end of the line, sounding lively and friendly. was she possibly the girl from the party?

you watch closely as mark speaks to her.

his facial expression remains neutral, but his eyes reveal a certain familiarity with the person on the other end.

your curiosity about what the girl on the other end was talking about was driving you crazy.

you unconsciously moved closer to mark, awkwardly stirring the cup between you.

a small push of your elbow was enough to send the contents spilling across the table.

"damn it!" you exclaimed quietly as you hurriedly got up to clean up the mess.

mark, still on the phone, looked briefly irritated, but then concentrated on the conversation again.

you rushed to the shelf in the corner of the office to get some tissues while keeping the convo in your ear.

"yeah, yeah, i know… that's important to me too," you heard him say. his voice sounded softer. he hadn't spoken to you in this tone before.

this personal note in his tone made you falter for a moment. why can't he treat me like this?

you shook off your thoughts and returned to the table with your handkerchiefs, trying to hide your curiosity. "sorry about the mess," you mumbled as you leaned forward to wipe up the spilled liquid.

mark put the phone aside and replied curtly, "no problem".

you wiped the table without a care in the world until you realized that mark had been watching you the whole time. his eyes were particularly focused on your boobs swinging back and forth, as you wiped the surface of the table. you acted hastily beforehand, instinctively, unaware that your cleavage would display your boobs right in front of mark.

his sudden affection for you made you embarrassed and your cheeks flushed.

mark, realizing he'd been caught, cleared his throat and quickly returned his gaze to the sandwich in front of him.

at the same time, you couldn't help but grin as you threw the handkerchief into the garbage can and sat back down in your chair.

mark, on the other hand, was now visibly nervous and tense. he knew that you had noticed his looks and his interest.

you awkwardly put your drink away and tried to start a conversation to bridge the awkward silence.

"you know, when i was little, i was so obsessed with donuts that i-"

"you wanted your father to own a donut factory," he interrupted you.

you were visibly shocked that he remembered such a trivial detail. "how do you know that?" you asked, your eyes wide with surprise.

"you told me about it in 8th grade when we were supposed to talk about our childhood wishes," he replied casually, as if it was common knowledge.

you could hardly believe that mark had never forgotten such a banal piece of information about you. it showed how attentive he must have been to you even back then.

he didn't look at you properly until now because he was still embarrassed by his double exposure earlier.

"um… the phone call was just work, by the way," he stammered, obviously trying to change the subject.

you were still a little shocked and needed a moment to understand what he was alluding to. then you remembered the phone call and Mark's glances at your breasts.

you giggled softly at his frantic attempts to cover up his actions. "sure, just work," you replied.

mark sighed and looked directly at you. he continued to try to lighten the atmosphere and asked if you needed help with your chores.

you were nibbling on your jam sandwich and couldn't help but laugh. "do you really need an excuse to suppress your supposed 'crime', mark?" you asked directly and slightly defiantly.

mark, caught off guard by your directness, watched you for a moment.

he remembered how beautiful he always thought your smile was back then, because your eyes always lit up like the first ray of sunshine of the day when you laughed.

"thanks, but i'll be fine. i'll come to you if i need help," you said, biting into your sandwich again.

then you looked directly at him. "but i have to admit, i'm impressed by how productive you are. so focused… and you look pretty hot too," you added with a fleeting smile.

in truth, mark's productivity masked his desire for you. he was afraid that you might hurt him if you rejected him. he was afraid of himself, that he might get stupid ideas if he looked at you or even talked to you.

everything about you was reason enough to excite all his cells and organs in his body.

your presence was a fulfillment of his deepest, hidden desires and a painful agony at the same time.

mark felt his pulse slowly rising. he studied you more closely for a moment.

for little mark, it was nothing more than a dream that you were sitting next to him so openly and complimenting him.

he saw how your long, slightly wavy hair fell over your shoulders and lightly touched your breasts at the tips, how you looked at him with smiling eyes, how your whole body was focused on him.

he slowly lowered his gaze and noticed that he could see through your shirt, your bra and how your nipples were slightly visible through the surface of your shirt. it wasn't directly visible, but if you looked long enough you could see them.

you didn't even notice that mark was about to eye-fuck you because you were too engrossed in your story.

then mark looked at your face again, and he noticed the little jam mark on the corner of your lips. he thought you had left it there on purpose so he would notice it.

a sigh escaped him. "are you doing this on purpose?" he asked, slightly annoyed.

you were completely unaware of the jam stain, looking at him with an innocent expression. "what do you mean?"

mark pointed slightly at his own lip to show you the stain. "that jam stain there. it kind of makes you…" he breaks off, searching for the right words, while you searched in vain for the stain with your fingers.

if that's not one of her tricks to seduce a man…

mark thought to himself. but you were really clueless as to what he meant by the stain.

mark looked slightly annoyed and suddenly extended his finger to remove the stain from your lip.

his gesture took you completely by surprise and your eyes widened in astonishment as you stared at him.

mark wiped the stain with his thumb and noticed the way you looked at him.

the two of you were locked in an intense eye contact as mark's thumb still lingered gently on the corner of your lip. his eyes darkened as you felt a sudden electricity in your body.

he gently moved his fingers over your lips while his gaze was anchored on them.

you felt the warmth of his skin and a tingling sensation spread through your body.

your next move was completely instinct-driven, quite risky.

without thinking twice, you slowly opened your lips and took mark's thumb fully into your mouth, all the while gazing longingly into his eyes.

you remembered your plan, your desire for him… your growing arousal progressed.

you firmly held his hand tightly to keep his thumb in your mouth and licked and sucked on it.

if he would be willing and would allow, you were ready to suck his dick on the spot.

marks breath became heavier and his throat dried by the view of you.

he tried to suppress his inner turmoil, but the sudden intimacy of yours obviously threw him off balance.

the intimate air in the office was broken by the surprising sound of the door suddenly opening.

a young, beautiful girl stood in the doorway, looking for mark.

mark jerked his thumb back as you moved away from him, startled and embarrassed.

the girl stood confused at the doorway, staring alternately at mark and you.

mark cleared his throat and quickly rose from his chair. "yo…, hey," he stammered, clearly trying to control the situation.

"i was just on my way out. what's up?" he asked as he approached the girl and closed the door behind him.

you were left alone in the office, still caught off guard by the sudden turn of events, and you couldn't help but smile. your heart was beating fast with excitement and the adrenaline triggered by the unexpected closeness with mark.

you rushed to the window to get some fresh air, breathing heavily.

mark was outside the room, visibly trying to collect himself. he unobtrusively rubbed his thumb over his pants to dry it. his usually controlled façade towards you had been shaken for a moment.

the girl was explaining something to him, but he found it challenging to follow her because his thoughts were still on you.

the next day was really weird. you and mark tried hard to act as "normal" as possible and forget what happened yesterday.

"what's this all of a sudden?!" you exclaimed with a furrowed brow as you stared at your monitor.

the internet connection had broken, leaving you without access to the browser or the faculty's network drive.

since alex was off sick again, you looked to mark, who continued to work undisturbed by your outburst.

you tried to solve the problem yourself but realized after about 10 minutes that you had to run to the it service.

with a sigh, you grabbed your bag and left the office without telling mark; he would ignore you anyway.

luckily, you didn't have to wait long at the it service, and your issue was quickly resolved.

on your way back to the building, you saw mark leaving the building.

as he saw you coming, he gestured for you to follow him. you looked at him questioningly but walked in his direction at the same time.

"how about we call it a day and grab some food together?" he asked casually, squinting his eyes blinded by the sunlight.

his offer sounded definitely appealing. without questioning, you agreed with a "sure." you wanted to say that you needed to grab your stuff but noticed that mark was already holding it and handed it to you.

his kind gesture touched you. where did the guy go who ignored you all day??

when mark made this offer, you didn't imagine that you'd be eating burgers from a drive-thru in his car.

he had parked his car in a nice park's parking lot and started unwrapping his burger. you also took your burger in hand and handed him his fries.

this move made him recoil as if he was startled by you.

you looked at him for a few seconds.

"sorry, and yeah, thanks," he cleared his throat and placed his fries on his lap.

"what was that about? don't worry, i'm not going to stick my finger in your mouth," you remarked slightly offended and bit into your burger.

mark furrowed his brow "what are you talking about? i did not assume, that-" he tried to defend himself.

"judging by your behavior, you were obviously nervous that i might do exactly that," you continued to argue.

he shook his head and changed his sitting position so he could better look out his window.

you wondered why he had invited you to eat in the car if he was afraid to get closer. or, was that exactly the plan? no wonder his first thought was to recoil when you handed him his fries.

"you want me to get closer, don't you?" you asked softly.

"yea, you want us to get closer. that's why you invited me into your car. right?" you looked sideways at him, with a proud smile that you had seen through him.

mark chewed on his burger and shook his head slightly "it seems like you're the one who's hoping for that," he noted clearly.

"is that wrong?"

"what?"

"that i'm hoping for it."

"do you?"

"yes"

mark looked at you blankly. he looked as if he was solving a very difficult math problem in his mind.

"y/n, as a woman, you should be careful and not talk this way with a man. it can end very dangerously," he warned you.

you smirked, "but i'm talking to you."

"still. you're a woman."

now you were the one giving him a puzzled look, "what does that mean? just because i'm a woman, i can't have sexual needs? how old are you, mark? 80?"

"that's not what i'm saying. it's just that you're very attractive and very... dangerous... for me," he noted hesitantly. "...and very attention-grabbing for all other men."

you listened to him attentively, "does that make you jealous? or insecure?" you asked him.

mark sighed loudly, "it makes me uncomfortable... that's why...um... i wanted to eat with you in the car."

his remark made you laugh, while he looked at you as if you had gone crazy, "oh, mark, you're just so sweet. have you ever thought that you might be projecting your own desires onto others?"

"what do you mean?"

"aren't you the one who's mentally fucking me all the time and not the other men? isn't that what you want? just say it if that's the case. look, i'm being honest with you: i want your dick."

mark's eyes widened, he started to blush and protested loudly "wtf, y/n, i said, you, as a woman-"

"oh, stop being mean, mark. i know what i want as a woman. the question is, are you as a man ready to admit what you want?" you hinted with a flirty tone.

mark swallowed as he looked at you. he glanced briefly at his finger and tried to suppress his smile, "can you also...", he cleared his throat, "take other things in your mouth?", he asked quietly, his gaze shifting between your eyes and your lips.

life was really crazy. the guy you once hated so much was destined to take your virginity, and you only realized this during an internship in your studies.

after about 15 minutes of driving, mark parked in front of an apartment complex and stopped the car.

suddenly, it occurred to you that mark might need to know that you're a virgin. would that scare him off?

mark noticed your inner conflict and asked if everything was okay.

you hesitated for a moment, then looked at him. "it's just... you might want to know that i... am a virgin."

mark stared at you motionlessly for a moment, before he suddenly started to laugh. his reaction left you confused and slightly hurt. "good joke, y/n," he said, reaching for the door handle, ready to get out.

you were confused and grabbed his hand to stop him. "i'm serious. i really am a virgin," you said firmly.

mark turned to you in surprise, his laughter fading. "that's impossible," he replied incredulously, his eyes searching for any sign of a joke in your face.

you looked at him directly, your eyes open and serious. "why would that be impossible?"

mark's gaze didn't leave your face, as if trying to see behind your facade. "because... well, your body is... it's just hard to believe that you're a virgin."

you couldn't help but smile. "that has nothing to do with experience, mark."

mark was still not convinced. "dude, you've literally slept with every popular guy in class."

you couldn't believe your ears and were visibly shocked by his comment. "how the hell did you come up with that?! who am i supposed to have slept with?"

mark looked at you incredulously. "dude, come on... jaehyun? soobin? hyunjin?"

you were just speechless. "yeah, i might have made out with them at most..."

"you literally sucked hyunjin off," he said with a poker face.

"you.., okay, wow, i can't believe i'm having this conversation with you. this is not how i imagined our first time," you were just flabbergasted. first, because those guys were spreading stories about your moments, and second, because mark knew all about it.

"mark, just because i've had those experiences doesn't mean i've actually slept with them. i've never met the right one from whom i could get it," you assured.

"not yet... until...?" mark asked with a grin.

"... until i met you," you smiled.

mark felt around your lower back, grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it up. while he took off his own shirt, you unclasped your bra.

your breasts were big and full and your nipples light pink.

mark flattened his palm on your boobs, his broad hand pawing at each of your breasts in turn. you had to bite your lips as he found each of your nipple, tweaking them firmly to bring them to stiff peaks.

your cunt clenched and you couldn't help the way your hips tried and bucked up to chase for some friction.

your body was toned and shapely. mark was always aware of that as he let you slight in his wettest dreams many times in the past.

he felt and squeezed your plump ass.

you tore down his boxers and admired his throbbing cock with a bite on your lower lip.

"are you scared?", mark asked with a shaky voice.

"i'm excited", you whispered.

"naughty girl", mark smirked.

you salivate at the way his foreskin strains against his tip, smeared with precome, which you licked away, making mark moan "oohhHh, yes".

mark pulled his hip back and put his hand tight on the back of your neck as you brought your hands up to stady his cock.

you wrapped your dominant hand around the base of his cock as you braced your other hand on his thigh for balance.

mark pressed you down onto his cock with the hand on the back of your head. you splutter at the sudden intrusion, hollowing your cheeks to stop yourself from gagging.

you looked up through bleary eyes to see his mouth agape, his eyes glassy as he watched his dick disappear into the wet heat of your mouth, "aahHhh, fuck-", he cursed.

you moaned around him as you squeezed the base of his cock, losing yourself to the moment as you bobbed your head up and down his length, "good baby, you're taking it so well, ahHhH", he continued to moan.

while you continued to work your mouth up and down, pulling almost all the way out to lap and suckle at his head. you used the tip of your tongue to toy with his slit and he shuddered, you smiled to yourself before committing to something more.

you relaxed your mouth as much as possible before starting to take him deep in your throat with hard, fast movements. the wet sound of you burying his cock deep in your throat was loud in the otherwise quiet room.

"good girl", he said through gritted teeth as he rocked his hips forward to meet your eager mouth.

you coughed and spluttered around him as he picked up the pace fucking your throat until tears were streaming down your face. mark finally relented as you felt your throat contract, threatening to make you gag.

you gasped for air as he held your head back, forcing you to look up at him as he grinned down at you, "i won't just nut in your mouth and end this", he stated with a smirk, "no chance, baby", he said.

you looked up at him, ashamedly open mouthed as you felt the arousal swirling in your core.

"alright, i'm gonna fuck you softly with my fingers and you're gonna tell me, if it feels good or bad, okay? last thing i want is to give you pain."

"yes", you almost whispered.

after getting you fully naked and putting you onto his bed, mark shoved his fingers into you and groaned deeply when he felt you clench around him on instinct.

fuck, i wished, it was my dick, she was stangling, he thought.

"you okay?", he reassured.

you nodded with a heated face and closed eyes, "keep going."

you shivered as he took in the perfectly shapen lips and letting his middle fingertip just run down your slit, making you shudder at how perfectly he split you just a little so it brushed over your clit, stimulating you ever so lightly through the hood and making you tremble.

"mark", you said and stopped his hand from fucking your pussy. you knew, he could feel that you were already wet enough.

"what's wrong, baby?"

"fuck my ass, please", you bluntly said, blushing a little as you just blurted it out. you didn't want to come this early and you always fantasized mark getting you from behind, so it was the perfect time for that.

"you sure?", mark carefully asked, but you already positioned yourself, getting all on your fours in front of him.

you sank your bank and let your knees slide wider to show yourself off.

"perfect", he smirked at the sight of your plump ass, making you glance back over your shoulders at him and smile.

to your surprise, mark dived down and pressed his tongue to your asshole, grabbing your hips to hold you in place as he licked over your sensational part.

"ohmygod", you choked in surprise, the feeling like nothing else you've experienced as he attacked you with passion, taking his time, but gave you no chance to ease into it.

it completely caught you off guard.

your shock turned to willing pleasure, letting your legs slide a little wider, arching your back to push back into him, "hmmMmM.. yeas, baby..", you whimpered.

a tingle ran through your whole body, hands tightening in the cheap sheets as you shivered, body trembling and a stuttering groan escaping your mouth.

suddenly your pleasure was abruptly interrupted as mark pulled away from you, leaving you ready as you gasped in shock and looked back at him.

your eyes locking onto his thick, throbbing erection as he squeezed it out and rubbed it over his impressive prick, slicking the bulging head as he stepped closer behind you.

you breathed deeply to calm your racing heart, the excitement and nerves sent adrenaline through you as mark reached down and grabbed a rough handful of your long hair.

he twisted his grip on you enough to make you wince and pushed his straining cock to your tight, not being that gentle with you as you expected him to be.

he testingly thrusted against you and felt how you resisted, "relax, babygirl", he breathed out. he held you dominantly in place as he worked against you and eased you open.

his pace was steady but inexorable, not giving you a chance to resist or pull away anymore.

you gave away, feeling yourself stretch naughtily over his invading head, mark used just enough pressure to drive his thick cock inside you without going too fast.

"you like that, y/n?", he teased, "is that, what you were hoping for?".

you seethed a little at that, but didn't say a word. you had literally invited it and had to take it, to let him work his magic on you and bring you to climax.

"the popular, sexy girl at school on her knees for me, taking my cock in her ass like a little-", he didn't finish his sentence, seeing you twitch as you held your temper back as he started thrusting himself deeper inside you, making your tightest hole take more of his cock.

"man, i knew, you would love this", he added, smiling as he shoved himself into you firmly, but carefully. his pace was calm and measured, taking his time with you.

his thrusts were controlled and purposeful, working deeper inside you.

pleasure melted into you all as you felt the full, satisfying sensation of the sex you were having with him, nerve endings stroked for the first time by his cock as he pumped you deeper and deeper. working all of himself inside you until his hips pressed to your toned booty.

"oh fuck...", you muttered as you shuddered and started picking up his pace a little. marks pumps got harder and more intent, making sure to go full depth every time you took all of him.

you gasped in pleasure, "oHhHhHH, maarkkk", you moaned. you heart was racing as you immediately blushed, barely able to believe you was enjoying your first time.

your breaths became harder, more intense as he pumped into you. marks hands still pulled at you, his fingers pressing into your soft skin as you readjusted his grip on your hair.

"oh mark, mark, just like that...", you moaned as you felt your orgasm building, your core tightening as he pounded you over and over again.

marks groans filled the room as he filled you.

"please, baby, i'm so close..."

"fuck", mark moaned in response, but didn't give in to your pleas, dragging out your orgasm and pulling back so he could delay you.

you whined in protest and slipped your hand between your legs, where you teased your clit, grinding against your fingers.

"y/n!", mark scolded, pulling your hand away from your aching pussy and restrain both of your hands at the top of his bed.

"i want to come, mark... i want-"

"i know, i know", mark smirked, his voice soothing as he stroked youur hair. "patience, baby. i am enjoying my break, this will make it more pleasurable."

"to the hell with... with... the break...", you groaned, but couldn't deny how much you were enjoying this.

you loved being pinned down, being fucked like this, it made you feel desired, loved and most importantly safe, because it was mark.

mark let out a breathless laugh as he continued his rhythmic movements, his grunting and moaning were only making you want to reach completion more.

"oh, y/n, you feel so good, baby..", he praised, smirking when you let out a huff beneath him.

you gasped when mark adjusted himself, so he was fucking you, just right, his thumb pressed against your clit.

"yes! markkk!", you cried, your eyes squeezed shut and you were breathing heavily as you lost yourself in him.

it was perfect. no one had ever touched you like this. no one had ever loved you like this.

you came with a cry, walls clenching around his cock.

your arousal spilling down his length.

you gasped, your heart racing as you pressed your forehead against his pillow. you felt marks hand grip your hips to steady you.

"y/n, i'm coming, i-", mark let out an unrestrained growl as his hips stuttered and he filled you with his seed, causing you to let out a weak, defeated moan as warmth flooded you as it often did.

"you're just... perfect, so... fucking... perfect...", mark stated, totally exhausted.

you both stayed like that for a few moments while your pounding hearts steadied and your breathings began to return to normal.

mark pulled out of you and you adjusted yourself on the bed, spinning around so you were laying next to him.

you had been fucked senseless, just as you wanted your first time to be and mark made your wish have come true.

today was your last internship day. your relationship with mark had changed since the incident. he couldn't ignore you anymore and always sought your company when alex wasn't around. after that, you even had sex four times. one of those times was in his office - when alex wasn't there.

on your last day, you wore a white, short-sleeved crop top that clung to your large breasts and highlighted your beautiful figure. you paired it with a high-waisted, fitted mini-skirt with a glencheck pattern in shades of gray and classic white sneakers.

it was a normal workday. at the end of the day, you said goodbye to all the employees. except for mark.

he invited you to a café.

once at the café, you both sipped on your drinks until mark broke the silence.

"you know, in school, i couldn't stand you. you treated me like i was a ghost. it really bruised my ego."

you looked at him in surprise before responding. "honestly, i felt the same about you. you were always the perfect child my mother never had."

mark's laughter filled the café. "well, at least your mom had the hotter kid that mine never had."

your mutual amusement quieted for a moment before you became more serious. "you're not fair, mark. i find you totally hot."

mark's gaze softened. "it's going to be hard to part ways with you, babe."

you both fell silent for a while, each lost in thought, until an idea came to you.

"what if you come with me?" mark initially shook his head. "that's not possible."

but you insisted. "why not? think about it. you and me together. every day. every morning. every night.", you gave him a teasing look.

after a moment of hesitation, mark gave in. "you know what? maybe i should really do that." his gaze intensified. "then i could continue to be the one who keeps you wet."

your cheeks turned red at his words.

"shh, mark, not in the café...", you warned him, which made him chuckle.

"so, are you ready to come with me?" you asked him.

"you crazy? i am more than ready. here's to us and to what the future holds."

his words made you smile. "glad you exist, markie."

"glad you exist, darlin'. i'm proud to call you mine."

with those words, a chapter in your life closed, and a new one began - with mark -, full of promises and unknown adventures, side by side.

#nct #nct mark #mark lee #mark lee imagine #mark lee x reader #mark lee x you #nct mark x you #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #nct mark smut #mark smut #mark lee smut #nct mark x reader #nct mark x y/n #nct dream smut #nct 127 smut

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neptuneiris · 9 months

Text

detachment (03/03)

with detachment, we see our mistakes honestly, make amends and start afresh.

pairing: prince!aemond × niece!reader

summary: aemond not only breaks your heart after so many love promises, he also breaks his betrothal to you without any justification and announces his betrothal to a baratheon girl. now you will be married soon too.

word count: 8.5k

previous part • series masterlist

thank you so much for joining me and giving your support to this short story. there will be no epilogue, this is the end, so i hope you enjoy it very much, love you all. see you in the next stories🥺❤

"You look too happy, my Lady."

"I say the same of you, my Lord."

Lord Cregan smiles softly in your direction, without both stopping dancing and without ceasing to be the center of attention of some of the nobles still remaining in their seats and your family as well.

Even though there are more people around you both also dancing, the center of the huge Room gradually adding of more people to dance, still you feel many attentive looks on you and your betrothed.

"Well, we would draw a lot of attention if we weren't dancing and smiling, my princess. This is all in our honor."

You smile, lowering your gaze for a moment.

"Well… then I must say you are an excellent dancing partner."

"You too, my princess," he smiles at you, "Although, to be honest with each other, this is actually costing me a bit… feeling a lot of eyes on me," he confesses to you honestly, without wiping the small smile from his lips, "Especially when I feel like they're burning my skin at the moment."

At that moment you don't need explanations. You know Lord Stark means him.

"I apologize for that," you say apologetically.

"No, it's all right," he assures you, "It's a bit intimidating, too much actually, considering the prince's reputation in combat. But in a way… I understand what he must be going through."

This catches your attention, at once watching him intently and curious.

"You shouldn't," you make it clear to him, serious, "This is our wedding, you don't have to feel sorry for him. From what I told you when you went to Dragonstone, remember he has no right, he was the one who cancelled our betrothal."

"Honestly, my princess… I wouldn't be surprised if at some point in the night you disappeared and left me."

You lower your gaze, deep inside you a few moons ago you probably would have wished for that, for Aemond to arrive at any moment, take you away and wed you. But now… this is a duty.

It's not like that's really going to happen either, not now when everything is already happening. He is present, yes, but it's all in the past and he's getting wed soon too.

"I can say the same for you, my Lord," you say a little amused, "I too feel a certain… intimidating stare."

He smiles softly and denies with his head.

"No. I would never do anything like that to you, princess."

"But do you love her or not?"

"I shouldn't answer you something like that, princess. It would be disrespectful when you are my betrothed, not her."

"No," you gently shake your head, "It is all right, my Lord. It is my wish for you to be honest with me, believe me I do not mind," you assure him, "Besides, I think I know the answer from what you also told me on your visit to my home."

"Well," he looks a little apologetic, "Yes, of course I love her. But I realized it too late. Had I known sooner, I would have married her in an instant."

You can't smile, especially knowing that both you and Lord Stark have someone else in your hearts and yet the two of you are here about to be wed.

Unconsciously your gaze wanders to Lady Alysanne Blackwood who is seated at one of the tables with a glass of wine in her hand, staring into oblivion and quickly identifying her sad face which she is trying to hide.

And you know this because you were also doing the same thing and feeling the same way.

"Have you spoken to her, my Lord?"

You turn your gaze to Lord Stark, asking him softly.

"She said she is happy for me and wishes me a loving and pleasing marriage," he tells you also trying to hide his pain on his face and in his tone, avoiding looking to where Lady Blackwood is now sitting.

"I'm very sorry."

"No princess, you had nothing to do with it," he assures you instantly, "You don't have to apologize and feel responsible, just as I have nothing to do with what happened between you and your uncle."

"Then why do I feel that if my uncle or I finally do something about our union, you'd be all right with it?" you ask him curiously, "You wouldn't be upset and turn on my family if I leave and make a fool of you after so much?"

"Well…" he thinks about it for a moment, " I would feel a little humiliated? Yes. But to be honest, if I were him and I was seeing the woman I love marrying someone else… I would wish things in my favor and no matter what, I would take her away from here and marry her in a heartbeat."

"That is what you would do even for when we are already in these circumstances and everyone expects us to marry soon?"

Lord Cregan looks at you with a small amused smile and a somewhat questioning look.

"Are you trying to say that's what you would do, my princess?"

"I spoke in supposition, my Lord," you explain, "What if we were in other circumstances. As for instance that this wedding is happening against my will, with a person I do not wish to marry and where…. the person I love also loves me."

"Princess, it is improper what I will say and it is not gentlemanly of me, especially since I truly mean no disrespect—

"It's all right," you assure him again softly, "Speak freely, my Lord."

"Well… since you put it that way and apparently we're both on the same page… yes," he confesses with a soft look, "I would too."

You frown slightly.

"But I never said I—

"It doesn't need to be said and I know I don't know you too well, my princess. But I know you would too."

He smiles softly at you, as you watch him silently, saying absolutely nothing, thinking about his words.

"I have heard the stories of your mother and father. All of them have come to the North, very interesting stories and captivating to more than one, I must say. And knowing that same blood runs through your veins…I am already prepared for whatever you decide to do."

"I am already prepared for whatever you decide to do."

That repeats constantly in your mind, saying nothing for a few seconds as you continue to dance to the music and the specific choreography while Lord Stark follows your same step at all times, as do the other nobles around you.

But truly… what would you do?

Nothing. Just do your duty. And your duty is this.

Between you and Aemond there is nothing anymore. It's not as if at any moment you're going to run away with him, running away from your responsibilities, because you know he won't do anything and certainly you won't do anything either.

It's all said and done, he's getting married, you're getting married and what you once had, that love that existed is gone. And even though the stories of your mother and father still live on… you and Aemond are not like them.

Right?

"No need to worry about that, my Lord," you tell him as you both continue to dance, "You and I, that is what is happening now. He's betrothed too and there's nothing left of what we once was."

"I would not be so sure about that, princess."

You look at him confused.

"Why not?"

"I know the nature of the man. And knowing his father, Prince Daemon, a man who has my full admiration and respect, his nephew, Prince Aemond must be just like him. Besides, he would be a fool not to be acting now that the woman he loves is marrying someone else."

You deny with your head, understanding the point about your father, who also acted at one time with your mother at her wedding to your father Sr. Laenor, but he in the end did nothing about it.

And Aemond… is completely different.

Your father didn't break your mother's heart in the worst possible way, leaving her without explanation, much less just when both of them were already about to get married and have everything.

And about finally acting when the woman he loves is marrying someone else… it's something you don't fully understand.

"It's selfish, dont you think?"

"All men are selfish, I include myself. But the decision is always up to you, the woman I love and all women," he assures you with a soft smile, "Now…." he makes you both stop dancing, holding your hand delicately, " I will know your decision soon, princess. I'll be here waiting."

Confusion begins to overtake you, not understanding anything.

"What do you mean, my Lord?"

He does not answer you, on the contrary, he places his gaze over your shoulder, looking at something or someone specific, barely giving you time to react, because at that moment Aemond appears between the two of you, placing one of his hands on Lord Stark's shoulder.

"May I, Sr. Cregan?"

This immediately catches your attention, as Aemond keeps his attention on lord Stark, who watches you for a few seconds and then nods in his direction.

"Of course, my prince."

All the other people around you continue to dance, as lord Stark begins to walk away to disappear among all the people… and you watch Aemond without expression really, even more without understanding anything.

And when he looks at you, it's like reliving all those moments, all those moments where you both shared kisses, caresses and those promises of love, also all those moments when you were children.

However… he says nothing and simply places now his hand on your lower back to start guiding you towards the center of the Room, you walking too instantly, both of you making your way through all the people dancing.

Nerves invade you, especially because this is the first time you are in front of him after everything that happened, taking into account that you ignored his request about meeting on the island, although he has it more in mind than you.

But everything happens too fast.

You are completely oblivious to the looks that Otto Hightower and Queen Alicent are giving you both, while your mother and father don't seem annoyed like the previous ones mentioned, but rather curious and expectant.

While Aegon… he couldn't be having more fun with the moment, especially delighting in his little brother's audacity and his mother's and grandsire furious stares, especially his grandsire.

Aemond glances sideways towards the table, or towards his grandsire specifically, being very aware that he is being watched. But honestly he couldn't care less.

He's had enough. And he doesn't care that this isn't what they expected of him or that it will lead to serious consequences later, he doesn't care anymore… because he will finally make things right.

"This is what you want?"

Is the first thing he says to you once he has your attention in High Valyrian, both of you being surrounded by all the people dancing to the music, while he and you remain in the middle of it all, standing in front of each other, your attentions on each other.

And his question bothers you, because it is certainly not what you expected to hear from him after so many moons apart and in which he never once explained anything to you when you needed it most.

He simply questions you about your marriage, his serious look on you, while you answer him with the same attitude and manner.

"It's none of your concern what I want, uncle. It's not like you'll care either, just like I don't care what you have to say about my wedding either."

Uncle, not Aemond, just…uncle.

All your words anger him, instantly watching you with such intensity and with his jaw clenched, leaning more towards you with that defiant look.

Then you answer him in the same way, watching him with your chin up and your serious, determined look.

"The man from the North is a good and noble man who will drive you to boredom even before you both say your vows before the Seven, so tell me niece….. do you really think he deserves you?"

"Don't tell me, uncle. Now you're going to say you're the one who deserves me?"

Aemond clenches his jaw tighter.

"You didn't let me explain."

"It was too late for your explanations, don't you think?"

"I waited for you and you never came."

"Well, now you know what it feels like to be left without explanation," you tell him in a bitter, serious tone, "Not to mention that I had to hear the news of your new betrothal afterwards."

Aemond does not take his gaze away from you for a second, not even caring that you are in public and in the open view of other people, especially his family, because at that moment for him… it is only you.

And honestly… you don't care either.

You had been waiting for this moment, nothing feeling more than satisfying than paying back the man who supposedly loved you in the same way, making him feel what you felt.

"Perhaps you would understand why I did it if you would let me explain," he tells you serious.

"No," you tell him serious and annoyed, "Your explanations I needed to hear when you broke me and left me. Not now that you're finally acting when my wedding to another man who isn't you is happening."

He watches you completely serious and attentive, while you are being more than firm with your attitude and your words, even defiant.

"So if you will excuse me… I have to find my betrothed."

Putting the matter to an end, you turn around and start walking away from him, trying to make your way through all the people around dancing.

But it's barely three steps that you advance when Aemond stops you by the arm and makes you turn on your own axis to be face to face with him again.

And Gods… he is furious.

Again you watch him defiantly, more by the fact that he holds you by the waist and pulls you completely to him, bringing another of his hands to your cheek, preventing you from running away from him again, while you watch him seriously and in expectation of his next move.

But he's not mad at the fact that you won't let him explain himself, but at your words, your betrothed.

"First I'm going to burn everything to the ground before you have a chance to marry that fucking northern man," he warns you mumbling under his breath, their faces mere inches apart.

You try to pull away from him, but he only makes his grip on your waist tighter and his grip on your cheek tighter, watching your whole face, your precious face with possession and desire, watching your lips between parted as your gaze also watches his, reprimanding yourself.

"Let me go. People are watching us."

"Then let them see," he says without a care in the world, his gaze possessive and dominant, "Let them see who you truly belong to."

You press your lips together, upset.

"You are so selfish."

"When it comes to you…you don't have a fucking idea. And I'm not going to let you go."

At that moment, both of them are indeed getting attention, but not from the noble people, but from their families.

Otto Hightower clenches his hands into fists and squeezes them tightly with a deathly stare, while Queen Alicent watches the scene in disbelief, not having the slightest idea how to fix her son's behavior.

But Princess Rhaenyra and Prince Daemon... are only anticipating what will come next.

"If you don't let go of me I'm going to scream," you warn him between your teeth.

But at this, Aemond can only smile with a certain self-centeredness and satisfaction, as well as looking amused.

"Oh I would like to see you try, my love."

And then the next thing he does is to take you firmly by the arm and start dragging you towards the exit of the Throne Room, unnoticed among all the people dancing, while you try to put up resistance in an instant but with Aemond's strength it's impossible.

You think about screaming, as you told him you would, but causing a scandal would only be worse, so you let him lead you, who with quick steps makes sure no one follows and takes you away from all that absurd and boring feast.

But once you both leave the Room, that's when you can finally stop him and confront him.

"What are you doing!?"

"I want to explain," he insists serious.

"No!" you exclaim in annoyance, "I don't want you to explain anything! Can't you see that I can't leave my own feast? What is my betrothed going to think? And your betrothed too!?"

"I don't give a shit about your feast, your betrothed and my betrothed, now come," he says as he again puts pressure on your arm to continue to lead you away.

But you put up a resistance again.

"No! Let go of me, Aemond!"

"Don't make me repeat myself again, Y/N."

"This isn't fair!"

"Nothing is. Now stop resisting and walk," he tells you disinterested.

"You're so fucking selfish! You don't even have any idea what you really put me through and now you want to ruin my wedding because since you don't care, you think I must not care too!"

Aemond, starting to lose his patience, sighs and has no choice but to, without waiting for you, grab you and place you on his shoulder like a sack to start walking quickly away from there without further inconvenience.

"Aemond!" you exclaim in surprise and in horror.

"Are you going to behave now?"

"Put me down! Put me down this instant!"

"I don't want to."

"I have to go back! We're going to get in trouble because of you!"

"Too bad."

So the only smart thing you can think of at that moment is to keep complaining and trying to hurt him with your not so convincing closed fist punches, neither is squirming and making his job of carrying you difficult and unbearable, because simply nothing worked.

With your protests being further and further away from the Throne Room, with no one coming to your rescue, though if so they wouldn't stand a chance against Prince Aemond, he finally puts you on the ground as you enter one of the many balconies of the Keep.

"Seven fucking Hells, will you stop yelling already?"

"And what did you expect? You're taking me away from my own wedding!" you exclaim in anger.

"It's not your wedding Y/N!" he exclaims to you again serious and annoyed, "Do you really think I'm going to let you marry that fucking Stark?"

"And what about your betrothed?" you inquire instantly, incredulous, "You don't know that you can get us in trouble for this? Spare us the embarrassment, Aemond. My father must be looking for me by now and he'll put your head on a spike if he finds us."

"I don't care if your father finds us, neither does my grandsire, my mother or your betrothed," he tells you with a certain mocking, serious tone. "I don't care about any of this, Y/N. And I certainly don't care about my fucking betrothed because I'm not marrying her."

A smile and a disbelieving, absurd laugh escapes your lips, shaking your head.

"Yes, of course."

But the look Aemond gives you at that moment is a terribly honest and serious one in which he shows he's not in jest.

"I'm serious."

"Well, tell that to your grandsire," you tell him in a bitter tone, "I'm sure he'll kill you first before my father if you don't do what he or your mother tells you."

He lets out a long sigh, tearing his gaze away from yours for a moment, running one of his hands across his chin.

"Y/N—

"Why are you doing this?" you interrupt him seriously, annoyed, your skin burning and all the discomfort coursing through your body, "Why now that I am about to marry Lord Cregan? Why not before when you left me with no explanation and crying for you with the thought of your soon to be wedding to Lady Baratheon?"

"Nothing I did to you was my intention, Y/N," he implores you, earnest and honest, "Nothing was my choice, I never meant to end our betrothal."

"Then why?" you spit at him, "Is it that you don't want to see me marry someone else but I'm not going to marry you either?"

"Because the war will soon be upon us," he tells you in an instant, serious and seriously needing at that moment to explain himself, not wanting you to hate him more by listening to his reasons, "We all know that my father may die at any moment. And when that happens… the war between our families will begin."

You frown, shaking your head slightly.

"Now what are you talking about?"

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about," he says taking a few more steps towards you, "Your mother is the Heir, we know that, but still… she is a woman and she will have a lot of people against her by the time comes."

"Many people or your mother and grandsire specifically?" you ask him expectantly.

Aemond lets out a long breath.

"Aegon is the first born son, everyone will expect him to be the next King."

"Aegon is a fucking drunk who doesn't even care about the Throne, Aemond!"

You exclaim absurdly to him, sick of this.

"He has said countless times that he is not interested in the crown and does not want to rule, but it is your grandsire who keeps insisting and wanting to take total control of everything on his own whim and for his own ambition, denigrating my mother knowing very well that my grandsire has named her Heir and has never, not even consciously, said that he wishes Aegon to succeed him! " you tell him incredulously, "And not only him, your mother is also against mine, letting herself be led by everything your grandsire tells her."

"And what is going to happen when your mother sits on the Throne, hmm?" he inquires you as well, "She can order to kill me and all my family because of the pressure of the people by having not only one, but three sons of the King, where none succeeded the crown."

All the confusion invades your face instantly, staring at him in disbelief and as if you can't believe it for even him, Aemond Targaryen, being the intelligent man he is, to think such a thing, about to retort but he continues to speak.

"Do you really think that even so if we had married, your family and I would begin to get along?"

He inquires you, incredulously and your breath catches.

"It's not that I don't want to Y/N, it's that I can't. What kind of sister cares more about some supposed lies to a maimed eye? If she had no sympathy for me at the time, less will she have for when the people reveal themselves against her and she wants to secure her Throne."

"Seven Hells," you mutter incredulously.

"I know Aegon isn't cut out to rule, but at least with him on the Throne he secures my life, Helaena's, Daeron's and my niece and nephew's."

"So is the idea of me and my entire family being killed better?" you ask him bitterly, "All this nonsense is what your grandsire and mother have been telling you all this time? Turning you, my uncles and my aunt against your own sister? Don't you realize how sick with ambition and power that is? Is this why you canceled our betrothal?"

You don't need to hear the answer to that, you already know it. But he only confirms it when he doesn't say anything to you and with a sorrowful look, looks away from you for a moment, to which you don't know whether to laugh or cry.

You honestly can't believe it.

You knew that Otto Hightower hates your entire family but not with such fervor to the point of interfering in his own grandson's life, not giving him the chance to truly marry for love.

And destroying his thoughts about you and your mother for his own ideologies and for his own lust for power to put Aegon on the Throne.

Otto is even capable of turning all the common people against your mother out of envy, not only being enough to marry his only daughter to the king, taking advantage of the pain of others and securing his position even more.

You truly hate that man and also Alicent Hightower for letting himself get led and turn his children against his own sister with lies, being that she once loved your mother and yet was led by her father to hate her simply because of her freedom to be princess and being named by the king the Heir to the Throne.

"My mother has never, not even when she was named Heir and Aegon was born, thought in such a way about you."

You make it clear to her in a serious and more than offended voice.

"All she has wanted has been, even since you and I were children, to keep the peace between our families, even proposing to marry Jace to Hel and give you a dragon egg to you, but your mother turned her down at every opportunity because of your grandsire disgusting ideas."

You tell him annoyed, serious.

"She couldn't even recently stand the thought of marrying you to me, blinded by hatred and feeding you too that same hatred to hate her. And I understand what happened years ago, I understand that my mother is not to your liking, but she truly regrets having acted as she did in understanding your mother's position, she being the first to support us with our betrothal," you remind him in a bitter tone.

Aemond watches you completely attentively, without saying anything, with his lips pressed together.

"So tell me Aemond…. if she really plans to kill you and your entire family, then why would she go to the effort of uniting our families and supporting our betrothal?" you inquire, "Do you think it's all a strategy? Because I assure you that my mother with all she has to deal with in Court, being judged at every turn for being a woman, especially by your grandsire, would not waste herself with all those attempts to ultimately become a kinslayer."

And then… Aemond feels as if a huge weight has fallen on his stomach, leaving him for a moment without air.

He continues to watch you with a expressionless gaze, when inside he is thinking completely about your words, while you watch him firmly for your words, knowing perfectly well that you are right.

And that's the truth, Aemond also thinks you are right.

Kinslayer.

A sin.

A word and an action that makes you a disgrace to the entire Targaryen dynasty. A curse to your name and in which you will be remembered forever, as Visenya Targaryen was once called, though this is only a supposition.

But this word Aemond knows really well, as do you from the stories. And considering your mother's position and the one who will become Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, you know that your mother could never be called that if she is truly committed to her reign.

And she is, you know your mother really is and Aemond knows it too, despite how much that makes him furious, but for his grandsire and his mother's ideas, reminding him that then Lucerys inherits all of Driftmark and he... inherits nothing.

Or at least, now he inherits nothing.

For had he married you, you being the second born daughter of the Heir, Dragonstone is your castle and that would have been home to both of you.

Aemond considers that Rhaenyra can probably have them killed… accidentally as well.

But you… seeing you now in front of him after so many moons apart and after all that happened, he still trusts you and really believes in what you have told him.

What purpose would Rhaenyra really have had in marrying her daughter to her half-brother and then killing him? It doesn't make any sense.

And just as every mother cares for the happiness of her children, Aemond knows he was your happiness and your mother would never do that to you. And you… seeing that he says absolutely nothing to you, you can only watch him with a somewhat satisfied look, nodding slightly in his direction.

"That's what I thought," you mutter to him without much emotion.

And the next thing you do, you turn away from him and start heading towards the balcony exit to return to your feast, leaving him behind, assuming you've already said everything you wanted to say to each other. But again Aemond doesn't let you go so easily and stops you.

"I want to wed you."

And to your bad luck, you really can't put up any resistance and turn to him again, with a bitter look on your face and feeling again what it might have been when you heard his words.

"You were already going to wed me, remember?"

"All right, you're right,' he tells you serious, letting out a long sigh, "I should not have done what I did to you, I should not have listened to my grandsire words, nor should I have accepted my betrothal to the daughter of Lord Borros."

"It is too late now, Aemond."

"I'm not marrying her, Y/N."

"Oh and you're seriously going to go against your grandsire?" you inquire not really believing it.

"I don't fucking care about my grandsire, Y/N!" he insists annoyed, quickly heading towards you, "He can fuck himself as well as his alliance with Lord Borros, I really don't care about him and neither do I care about my mother. All I want, all I've ever wanted… is you."

You snort, turning your gaze away from him for a moment, to again stare at him incredulously.

"And what is going to happen when the King dies?"

You ask, expectantly.

"Now you know that my mother has never thought nor will she ever harm you, your brothers, let alone Hel or her children, besides she is the true Heir… who assures me that the first thing you will do is support the right side and not support the idea of usurping my mother?" you question him, "Do you think I want you and I to live at war too? That we will eventually start hating each other by supporting two different sides?

"And what do you want me to do, Y/N?" he asks you in the same way, "I understand about my brothers and Helaena, but who assures me that your mother won't go for mine's head? She is my mother after all, I can't leave her alone."

"She won't do anything to your mother, Aemond!" you exclaim in exasperation, "The two of them loved each other as children, my mother hasn't forgotten how much she held her in high esteem in spite of everything and you think she would dare to hurt her? Think Aemond and forget everything your grandsire has told you!" you exclaim, "It is your grandsire who is doing all this, separating us, creating rivalry and hatred, it is for him that my mother will go if he does something against her, not for anyone else."

You make it more than clear to him while Aemond says nothing for a few seconds, watching and listening to you attentively, to which you continue to watch him without understanding, to then let out a long sigh and deny with your head.

"Still none of this matters, I have to go back," you tell him without much emotion to resume your way.

But again Aemond reacts and stops you by taking you firmly by the arm as he turns you towards him and holds you by the waist.

He pulls you completely towards him, while he places another of his hands on your cheek and brings his face dangerously close to yours, surprising you by such closeness and stealing your breath.

"Aemond," you say in a whisper.

You show him that this is wrong, but he doesn't mind at all, on the contrary, he brings his face closer to yours.

His breath hits your face, watching you again with that possession and that desire, completely attentive to your face, your beautiful face, while you don't understand anything but you know that if you try to pull away, he won't let you.

Although again you feel all that you used to feel before when he was courting you, realizing that you have never really stopped feeling this way for him, scaring you and making you feel disappointed because again… you must do your duty and so must he.

However, you can't help but feel really desired by him, just like before, all these thoughts invading you as you want to be his, just as you also want him to be yours, watching his face and lips intently unconsciously, unable to resist.

But this is wrong, completely wrong.

"What do I have to do, Issa jorrāelagon, to put all this behind so that you will agree to marry me?"

He murmurs more than willing on your lips, not letting go of you for a second, not willing to let go of you for a second, being terribly honest with you, this immediately catching your attention and again stealing your breath.

But it's not just his words, it's him, everything about him.

His face, his figure, his grip on you, so fucking alluring and attractive, which is what you hate but at the same time is also your weakness of him.

And despite that, despite the fact that even though you don't want to, you're slowly giving in to him, yet you still have some willpower and you don't just think about yourself, you can still think about the other people there at the feast.

"I-I can't," you look at him sadly, "Cregan Sta—

"Y/N."

He stops you making your grip on your waist tighter and his gaze more determined, really not wanting you to talk about him and wanting you to focus right now, on you,

"Just tell me what I have to do and so I will do it. Just tell me."

He insists and you… hesitate.

You haven't the slightest idea what to do.

"If I were him and I was watching the woman I love marrying someone else… I would wish things in my favor and no matter what, I would take her away from here and marry her in a heartbeat."

You remember Lord Cregan's words, as you continue to watch Aemond in front of you intently.

"I am already prepared for whatever you choose to do."

"All men are selfish, I include myself. But the decision is always up to you, the woman I love and all women."

"I will know your decision soon, princess. I will be here waiting."

Basically Lord Cregan Stark… was understanding with you and will already be prepared… if you choose this.

If you choose Aemond too, in the same way he has already chosen you over his family and his betrothed.

Then you think of your family, your mother and father, who will probably be very disappointed in you if you do not return and marry Lord Cregan, losing a great and important alliance with the man who owns the whole North.

But you remember what your mother was willing to do many years ago, when she was in the same position as you are now with Aemond, who completely forgot about the alliance and thought of her, her happiness, by asking the man she really loves to steal her away and take her to Dragonstone to marry her.

Now, knowing the history of your ancestors, how some of them chose love over duty, why shouldn't you do the same?

"Let my mother know what your grandsire is planning, avoid war," you tell him finally, "Kneel to her and swear your sword to her if you truly love me and if you wish me to marry you now."

In other circumstances, Aemond would have thought you are asking too much of him, but now that you both already know the truth, you his and he your mother's through you, he understands your point and thinks it is fair.

And if this is what he has to do so that you are finally his and he can finally call you his wife, which is all he has ever wanted, then so he will.

"Anything else?"

He gently caresses your cheek with his thumb and you, knowing with that his response, knowing that this is what he will do, finally stop feeling tense and let yourself be completely led by him, leaning into his body and his touch, feeling how slowly that weight on your shoulders disappears.

Just as you also Aemond feels that guilt stop invading him and finally now that he has you, he feels safe, loved and at peace.

"Promise me you won't break my heart again," you murmur against his lips.

Aemond gently shakes his head, leaning down to leave soft kisses on your cheek, starting a little trail, making you let out a sigh and place your arms around his torso, finally feeling you too at peace, having really missed this.

"Never again," he finally murmurs in your ear, sending shivers throughout your body and sounding like a promise.

Everyone in the Throne Room begins to look uneasy when one of your guards that your mother sent to look for you returns and whispers in his and your father's ears that you have disappeared.

Immediately Princess Rhaenyra glances at Queen Alicent, who is already watching her and instantly understands what is happening, turning quickly to her father with an alarmed and worried face as they and in fact everyone at the table also notice the absence of Prince Aemond.

The fact of this news does not really go unnoticed as your father immediately orders his entire guard to search for you throughout the Keep, at the same time Otto Hightower also orders them to find his grandson.

Your brothers and sisters, as well as your mother have an idea of who you are with, considering he too is nowhere to be found.

While Princess Helaena in the center of the Room begins to hear the murmurs of all the nobles, especially the ladys as they watch the entire royal family curiously, wondering if the bride has disappeared, also watching Cregan Stark out of the corner of their eyes.

Cregan Stark also watches everyone around him curiously, as the news begins to spread quickly throughout the Room, earning the sorrowful glances of all the lords.

And when Cregan finally understands what is going on, just as he had told Princess Y/N, he was already prepared and immediately turns to look at Lady Alysanne, who looks at him in surprise and disbelief.

Prince Aegon continues to drink wine completely amused by the whole situation, really feeling proud of his brother, delighting in his grandsire's behavior and reaction.

Princess Rhaenyra rises from her seat and looks with her bewildered gaze at her husband, who watches her seriously but at the same time with a certain resignation.

"I told you this would happen," he tells her as everything continues to be chaos in the Room.

"Shall we go to them?"

Prince Daemon lets out a long breath, clutching Dark Sister's pommel that hangs at his hip.

"She and especially he better have a good excuse."

Your mother and father get the idea and are sure that's what you and Aemond are doing now and Alicent and Otto Hightower as well, feeling horrified at the idea compared to your parents.

But before Prince Daemon and Princess Rhaenyra set off, it is first the duty of both of them to bring order to the Throne Room and talk to Lord Stark, who doesn't really look bothered by anything, before going to find you and Aemond.

When the news that Otto didn't want to hear, reaches his ears, and that is that your dragon Silverwing has left DragonPit and they also saw Vhagar flying away in the skies some time ago.

Meanwhile in Dragonstone… considering Kings Landing is not far away and it's quick dragonback travel, you and Aemond are finally joining blood.

All the emotion comes over you, really everything being in favor of both of you calling a Septon who has been at your family's disposal all the time you have lived in Dragonstone, who agreed to perform the ceremony, while the maidservants brought you both the clothes your mother and father wore when they also had their Valyrian wedding.

And now being here with Aemond, it's really happening.

He holds Dragonglass in his hand as the Septon begins to recite the correct words in Valyrian, about to join his blood with yours, being just as excited as you are, but dissimulating a little more.

"Hen lantoti ānogar"

Blood of two

"Va sȳndroti vāedroma"

Joined as one

Aemond directs the blade to your lips to slightly cut your bottom lip, then you also do the same with him and so then both of you bring your thumb to the bleeding part and place blood on each other's foreheads.

"Mēro perzot gīhoti."

Ghostly flame

"Elēdroma iārza sīr."

And song of shadows

"Izulī ampā perzī."

Two hearts as embers

Then you both cut the palm of one of your hands with the blade, and then join the two cut hands so that the blood begins to drip and fall into the chalice in the middle of both of you.

All the while you watch with a small smile on your lips, really not believing that this is finally happening, while Aemond watches you with adoration in his eyes, with a barely visible small smile on his lips.

"Prūmī lanti sēteksi."

Forged in fourteen fires

"Hen jenȳ māzīlarion."

A future promised in glass

Once the chalice is considerably full, both drink from each other's blood, as is the tradition of Old Valyria.

"Qēnlossa ozūndessi."

The stars stand as witness

"Sȳndroro ōñō jēdo."

The vow spoken through time

"Rȳ kīva mazvestraksi."

Of darkness and light

And finally you both permanently seal your wedding and your love with a kiss, finally being husband and wife.

After that, you lead your now husband to your chamber, where as soon as Aemond closes the door behind him, you perfectly understand that look on his face, one of complete desire and in which you barely have time to react as he pulls you to him with force and kisses you with need.

If you didn't feel the same way he does, you would have asked him to slow down… but you are just as desperate and completely crave his touch, to feel him, to become one.

"I'm not going to let you rest, ābrazȳrys. Not now that I finally have you," he promises you in the midst of kissing, beginning to remove your clothes.

"Nyke jaelagon ao, valzȳrys," you murmur against his lips.

I want you, husband.

And Aemond completely delights in your word, husband… being everything he wanted to hear you say to him.

He again devours your lips like a man possessed, not having enough, needing more, not believing he will stop anytime soon, not caring that the whole castle hears your moans, wanting to hear you say his name, just his name, all the time.

Soon both of you are already in your bed, you completely naked, while Aemond just needs to take off his pants, the sight of his naked torso turning you completely delighted, his worked body being another of your weaknesses.

You begin to moan and sigh as Aemond begins to bite and suck on your nipples, completely kneading your breasts with both hands, his two large hands in firm, possessive motions.

You breathe fast, feeling the pleasure invade you, needing more, as well as your juices beginning to drip between your legs.

"Aemond," you gasp, pulling his face closer to your chest.

"Does it feel good?" he asks you in a whisper, licking your flesh, making you moan louder.

"Yes, yes, it feels so good."

Aemond smiles against your skin, then descends one of his hands, spreading your legs wider and touching your most sensitive part, your entire nerve core with his fingers. You arch and moan in complete arousal, as he strokes you up and down being easier for him because of your wet folds.

"Fuck," he murmurs, biting your breasts.

"Aemond!" you moan.

He pulls his face away from your breasts and focuses on your face never ceasing to skillfully move his fingers, delighting even more in your expressions and your lovely face, as he feels his entire manhood hard and in need of attention.

"What? You need me to prepare you properly, my wife?"

"Yes," you gasp, "Yes, please," you look at him pleadingly.

"What exactly do you need, princess?"

"Aemond," you sigh, your whole face contorted in pleasure.

"Do you need this?"

His middle finger enters you, making you sigh and gasp harder, pulling Aemond closer to you.

"Yes, yes, I need it so much," you say as best you can.

Aemond smirks again, kissing your lips, silencing your sounds for a moment, continuing to move his finger in the ideal way inside you, making you sigh, gasp and moan just as he needs.

"You look so pretty like this," he murmurs against your lips.

Without warning, he adds a second finger, which makes you squirm and begin to wiggle your hips against his hand, needing more, as Aemond kisses and marks the skin of your neck, bringing his other hand to one of your breasts, squeezing it and making you gasp more.

"You're going to feel so good around my cock, my beautiful wife," he murmurs in your ear.

Aemond in his fantasies has always wanted to taste you, just as he has always wanted to know how it would feel to have your lips around him, how pretty you would look, completely at his disposal, wanting to make him happy in just the same way he wants to make you happy.

But now… he really doesn't want to wait any longer. He needs to be inside you, now.

Considering you'll have more nights like this, everything he wants to do to you can wait, so without further ado he pulls away and stops touching you, instantly getting your attention, but you watch as he quickly gets rid of his shoes and pants, needing to free himself.

And when you see it, excitement and terror run through you at the same time.

You don't know if he will fully enter you, his size really scaring you, as Aemond watches your reaction completely proud of himself, leaning back into you as he makes his way between your legs.

"I need this, so much," he murmurs against your lips, kissing you, as with one of his hands he strokes himself.

"Take me, husband," you ask gasping, "Take me now."

Then Aemond's gaze turns dark and utterly possessive.

"You are mine, aren't you?"

"I am yours. Completely yours."

"You want me to fill you with my seed? Do you need it as much as I do?"

"Yes, yes, I need it, please," you ask, "Do it, Issa jorrāelagon."

Aemond doesn't need to listen anymore, he places his manhood at your entrance and slowly begins to thrust, while you press your lips together to avoid screaming too loudly and close your eyes tightly, feeling him open you completely as a pain and burning that is not at all pleasant washes over you.

"Shh, shh, my sweet wife," Aemond quickly comforts you, hugging and kissing you gently, stopping himself, "It's all right, all right. Tell me when I can move."

"It hurts," you murmur back, tears beginning to form in your eyes.

"I know, I know, it just happens at first, then it will feel good, I promise," he assures you softly to then kiss you again, taking all the time he needs with you, really not wanting to hurt you.

He distracts you by again caressing you, either touching your breasts, licking your nipples and also bringing one of his hands back to your nerve core, making you feel again the pleasure of before, without him moving inside you even an inch, waiting for you to get used to it.

When without realizing it, you again begin to moan and pleasure begins to run through your body, not even when Aemond cautiously begins to move inside you again, until all of him is inside.

That same pain and discomfort returns, but to a lesser extent. And when Aemond begins to gently move back and forth, you sigh and let your head fall back, finally feeling good.

At that, Aemond begins to take more confidence and moves his hips faster, each thrust being a wave of pleasure, causing you to cling completely to him and sigh between his face and neck.

"You like it just like that, my love?"

"Yes, Aemond, just like that," you murmur in his ear, delighted.

"Can I go faster?" he asks you in a growl.

"Yes, yes, it's all right."

Then Aemond adopts a new motion, faster and deeper this time, making you moan loudly again as he grunts and delights in each thrust, feeling you clench around him and your juices filling him completely making the penetration faster.

He holds you by the waist and penetrates you faster, bringing his mouth to your breasts again, marking all over your skin, never stopping moving, as you feel something start to grow inside you and need to be released.

Just like what he is feeling too.

That one night he doesn't just spill his seed inside you once, he does it more times, in different positions, as you both touch and caress each other, seeming like you can't get enough, Aemond telling you in your ear over and over again how much he loves you.

Until eventually you both finish and the next morning, you feel a satisfied tingle between your legs, as Aemond for the first time after a long time, feels good about himself, needing no more as he holds you in his arms, both of you still naked and resting from the intense and long night you shared.

You both wake up fully and prepare for the day, both knowing very well that you both have to go back to Kings Landing to face the consequences of your actions. But now that you're both married, neither you nor he really cares much, as long as you're together.

You finish breakfast, everything still feeling like a dream, a dream you really don't want to wake up from, when you hear the roar of dragons in the sky.

You immediately exchange a glance with Aemond, as the two of you watch through your windows and your mother's golden dragon along with your father's red dragon make themselves seen on the island.

You both knew this would happen, so you were already prepared, and truly not wanting to argue because everything is already done, they both leave the chamber and head out to greet your mother and father, the two of them mentioned ready to demand an explanation.

But before Prince Daemon explodes in anger at his nephew, the words and his action are completely forgotten when your mother, Princess Rhaenyra, watches as her half-brother takes his sword and kneels before her.

taglist:

@strangersunghoon @anehkael @toodlesxcuddles @yourdaydreamerfan @prettykinkysoul @kyo-kxuiote @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @mrs-sullys-blog @pineapplechuncks @bellstwd @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @solacestyles @animequeen454

#aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond targaryen x you #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x oc #aemond x reader #hotd aemond

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brehaaorgana · 4 months

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ADHD money/budgeting system I'm currently using for my benefit is going well (I've been using it for like half a year now?), and I wanna recommend it.

You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT. 10/10 do recommend. Uhhh rambling about it and my generic disclaimers + gushing extensively under the cut but TL;DR I think it's great for ADHD ppl, I've used it for 6+ months now and I find it super SUPER helpful. also weirdly fun.

DISCLAIMERS:

Budgeting helps you understand/know your money, it can't make money appear where there is none.

Everyone should learn to budget even if you don't have much money (especially then)

This is NOT a magic trick solution. Just like everything else, it is an assistive tool. This is one of those adult things we can't simply opt out of without negative consequences, though.

My advice is based on something I am currently able to do. That is, I can spend an amount of money on this specific thing that works well for me. If you have no extra money to spend then previously I was tracking things in a notebook. So you can still do this.

I believe Dave Ramsey is a fundie fraud/hack and no one should listen to him about money.

DID YOU KNOW THEY CANCELLED MINT???

Okay? OKAY.

Ahem.

You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT.

It is called YNAB for short. The first 34 days are your free trial, and that is my referral link. If anyone uses it and then signs up for a subscription, we both get a month free. Also you can share a subscription with up to six people (account owner can see everything but individuals can pick and choose what they share amongst each other) so like...idk your whole polycule can be on one account. Or your kids. Whatever.

If you are a student, it's free for a year. If you aren't, a subscription is $99 for a year (paid all at once) or $14.99 monthly, which is equivalent to paying Amazon prime. Go cancel Prime and get this instead tbh.

They got a whole article just on ynab and ADHD. They also have like...a big variety of ways to access their info? They have a book, podcast episodes, YouTube videos, blog posts, q&A's, free live workshops you can join (you can request live captioning), emails they can send (if you want) a wiki, and so on. They got workshops on all kinds of topics!!

So whatever ends up working for your brain. It also has a matching app.

If you lost Mint this year they have a gajillion things for moving from Mint.

Also they have a "got five minutes?" Page which has a slider so you can decide how much attention/time you have before going on lol:

They only have 4 rules of the budget, they're simple and practical, and it doesn't get judgey or like...mean about your spending.

1. Give every dollar a job 2. Embrace your true expenses 3. Roll with the punches 4. Age your money.

THEN THEY BREAK THESE DOWN INTO SMALL STEPS FOR YOU! They even have a printable! Also these rules are great because there's built in expectations that things WILL HAPPEN and it's NOT all or nothing with a fear of total collapse into failure. Reality and The Plan don't always align, especially if you have ADHD. So it's directing our energy towards the true expenses and not clinging to The Plan!! over reality.

You can automate a lot of shit (you can sync with your bank accounts just like mint, but also automate tagging the categories of regular expenses/transactions). And if for whatever reason you accidentally do something that makes the budget look weird or wrong:

A) you can usually fix it somehow OR b) they have like, a button you can press that gives you a clean slate and archives the previous version of the budget for you.

So if you forget for a few weeks or months, or accidentally input something wildly wrong, or just don't want to look at a really terrible month anymore and feel like you need a fresh start you can usually either fix it or start fresh which is really nice.

The app also (for whatever reason) scratches my itch to have things like...have incentives or little game-like goals in a way mint never did? I don't know why. Filling up the bars or putting money into the categories to cover my expenses is satisfying lmao. You can also make a big wish expense category for all the fun shit you want, and fund it whenever you can and then you can see the little bar go up and that's fun.

Anyways I've been using it for like 6+ months now and I think it's really helped me when I use it.

#adhd #adhd money #adult adhd #ynab #adhd blogging

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shinesurge · 3 months

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Webcomic rings run by people within the community are cool and you should support them

I've been loudly struggling a little bit with corporate webcomic Stuff lately so I want to mention something positive to balance it out: webrings run by small groups of creators earnestly trying to support each other are slowly making a comeback and I for one am delighted.

If you weren't around for them in the before times, webrings were just some folks who hang out a lot who feature each other on their websites. That's literally it lmao. There's generally no money involved and it only really functions the way it's supposed to if people have control over their own websites AND genuinely want to participate and get excited about other folks' work, which means the practice has pretty well fallen by the wayside over the years in webcomic culture given. Everything. In the rare event someone decides to do something like this it's usually in the form of a link list somewhere on their website; this doesn't usually indicate any sort of mutual support, it's just a list of what the creator is reading themselves.

A webring, though, is an official banner or hub that people gather under intentionally where each member is more or less on equal footing. It's essentially the concept of "a rising tide lifts all boats" put into practice, each creator brings their own audience to the table in a passive, opt-in sort of way that's different from working for a publisher since there isn't necessarily a Top Spot or a paycheck everyone's vying for, and individuals retain autonomy over both their own work and how (if) they promote each other. You're all at your own tables in an artist alley rather than fighting over the table in the front of the book store, essentially.

I have two rings and one collective for you today!

Webcomic Ring was brought to my attention AGES ago by Holly, one of the artists featured there, and I might have brought it up at some point but I'm doing it again lmao. This is exactly the kind of thing you ought to be looking for; a small group of enthusiastic folks having a good time making their weird little comics. You probably haven't heard of much in the catalog, that's PERFECT in the context of webcomics that's where the GOOD SHIT is. Finding something like this is A Gift go dig around in the longboxes for a while.

Then a few people have pointed me in the direction of the KNIFEBEETLE collective and that's neat too! Most of the comics there are already fairly well-known, but the vibes are excellent and I haven't seen a lot of talk about the collective /itself/ outside folks already in the know. I think it's important for this sort of thing to be more visible to folks who aren't terminally steeped in webcomic culture already so here I am telling you about it. You were probably reading several of these before I suggested it, but that's how a webring works! For it to do its job you should take those bigger creators' tacit recommendation of the less popular titles as a sign to go read something new and strange. Wild, I know these are practices held over from the old internet, but I think we should try and bring them back.

Lastly, I want to mention Spiderforest, which is a collective (slightly different from a webring) BUT still a very cool project readers starved for new stuff should pay attention to.

You've probably seen Spiderforest kicking around for a long time already; they're wonderful and have always been an overall positive force in the community in my experience. They really focus on building up a community, and especially welcoming newcomers and helping them get their feet under them. Full disclosure, I've been asked to apply by a few different folks over the years and the only reason I never did is I don't have the ability to participate in their forums and such as frequently as they want their creators to; it's a very good system (from my outside perspective) that might contribute to the community staying mostly healthy in ways that art communities usually don't and I appreciate it a lot!

ANYWAYS that's all I got for now, just trying to balance out some bad feelings I've been having by talking about some good stuff. Please go binge an archive this week.

#long post #contrary to what i say i do love webcomics so fucking much #there are Reasons i'm fucking angry all the time lmao

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featherquillpen · 1 year

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Gained in Translation

I speak four languages (at varying degrees of fluency) and do translation both for smooth and peaceable family reunions and for fun, with works of literature I enjoy. It's practically a truism at this point that meaning gets lost in translation; in fact, I'm currently reading an excellent book, Babel by R.F. Kuang, in which there is magic powered by the meaning lost in translation. But a topic I hardly ever hear anyone discuss is how meaning can be gained in translation.

Example 1: References

A type of meaning that can be gained in translation is that when you translate from language A to B, you can make references to other texts in language B that the person who wrote the original in language A wouldn't have been aware of. Here is an example from a translation I did of a Pablo Neruda poem:

Yo te recordaba con el alma apretada

de esa tristeza que tú me conoces.

I remembered you with my soul gripped

by the tragic ordeal of being known by you.

These lines in Spanish reminded me a lot of the meme based on the viral New York Times article about how you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known in order to reap the rewards of being loved. So I decided to make a subtle reference to that quote in the way I phrased the English translation. This meaning, of course, doesn't exist in the original Spanish; I added it in.

Example 2: Meaningful Distinctions

Meaning is often gained in translation because the target language makes a distinction that the source language does not. The translator has to choose one side of that distinction, and so meaning is gained.

Here is an example from the Spanish localization of the Japanese RPG Fire Emblem: Three Houses. There are two unlockable scenes in which the character Hubert is given a gift as a romantic gesture. Now, I don't speak Japanese, but through reading the analyses and translations done by Japanese speakers, and by checking for consistency in the kanji, I can see that the same word for "gift" seems to be used throughout these scenes. However, in Spanish, there are multiple words for "gift" with rather different connotations, which becomes relevant in the localization.

In Spanish, there is no generic word for "gift" that applies in every situation. There is a distinction made between gifts that are personal, between people who care about each other, and gifts between people who are not close, such as charitable gifts and formal gifts given to a diplomat. The translators of the game had to choose which of these words to use in the Spanish, and they used the distinction to add some very interesting meaning to these romantic scenes.

In each scene, what happens is that Hubert notices the person has a gift and comments on it, thinking it's for somebody else. In these lines, in Spanish, Hubert uses the personal intimate word for gift. Then, when he finds out the gift is for him, and reacts very awkwardly, he switches to a formal word for gift, creating an emotional distance between himself and the romantic token. This is excellent characterization and adds a layer of meaning in translation.

Example 3: Meaningful Ambiguity

Sometimes, the opposite phenomenon occurs, where the target language does not make a distinction that the source language does, and that ambiguity or vagueness adds something to the translation.

I have a Finnish friend who has told me that fiction that plays with gender is often more meaningful for him in Finnish translation than in the source language, because Finnish does not have gendered third person pronouns. Where books like The Left Hand of Darkness or Ancillary Justice have to make a conscious decision about which gendered pronoun to use for characters that fall outside the Western gender binary (The Left Hand of Darkness uses "he" and Ancillary Justice uses "she"), the Finnish translations can just use the default neutral pronoun they use for everyone, and never have to resolve that ambiguity in any direction. My friend has told me that there are some books about non-gender-normative characters that he wishes he'd read in Finnish instead of English because the experience would have felt more authentic in some ways.

What It Means

The reason why I bring all of this up is that the concept of meaning lost in translation is tied to the idea of translation as an act of violence. Indeed, there is a saying in Italian, "Traduttore, traditore," which means "Translator, traitor." I agree that translation can definitely be an act of violence that destroys the intended meaning of a text and warps it to suit the needs of the speakers of the target language. But when we focus only on what is lost in translation, at the expense of what is gained in translation, then we deny that translation can be an act of liberation and power.

I was raised in a bicultural household speaking both English and Spanish, and when I translate between these languages, it makes me feel empowered and proud of my heritage. It feels insulting to me to claim that when I translate, I can only ever deplete the meaning. That is not true. Every translation requires a translator, and we are more than thieves and traitors. We are more, even, than archivists, trying to minimize loss and decay as much as possible. We are creatives and inventors who can add something beautiful and meaningful to the text via our translations.

#translation #on writing

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erinlindsayy · 6 months

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professor || carol danvers

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ . ┊ ⁭You're Carol's designated note taker, and usually the one teaching her a few things. What happens when you give her the wrong set of notes?

➺ warnings: dirty talk, spanking, edging, violent use of straps, carol danvers tops (but I fully believe she's a switch now), umm... general unholiness, bratting, etc.

✧ a/n: surprise... I'm back... more content coming soon... I promise I've got a val/carol/r fic coming soon, but this popped into my head and I couldn't resist... JOCK COLLEGE CAROL, OK? JOCK RUGBY COLLEGE CAROL.

↬ like this work? let me know! comments help encourage writers to write more and let them know that you liked what they wrote :)

★ requests are open–I write for a number of fandoms! just ask :)

☆ comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated ☆

“Can any of you attempt to discern meaning from this week’s assigned reading? Why might I have selected this particular work for you all?” asks Professor Valkyrie, starting class for the day. Your hand immediately raises, and she nods in your direction.

“Well, was not Beckett’s entire point to find meaning in the absence of conventional meaning?”

Professor Valkyrie, nods.

‘Interesting thought,” she says. “Care to elaborate?”

“Well,” you begin. “Beckett created a landscape for us that is so alien and foreign, and unlike what we know. The play does not include any symbolic elements, and it does not really go anywhere. You might try to make meaning out of the carrot that Didi and Gogo share, or the leaves appearing on the tree, but they literally mean nothing. At the end of the play--we, as well as Vladimir and Estragon, are all still waiting for Godot. So, in a sense, there is no meaning, but perhaps there is meaning in the fact that there is no intended meaning.”

“Good,” replies Professor Valkyrie. “As always, a carefully articulated and thoroughly crafted response. Excellent work as usual.”

You smile politely, and fall back into your seat as Professor Valkyrie continues to lecture about Samuel Beckett and the wonderful nature and reality of Waiting for Godot.

Meanwhile, you’ve jotted at the top of your notes, in big bold letters ‘I hate this play!’

After all, the ability to just to understand and converse about a work of literature does not mean that one has to enjoy it.

After class, you’re stopped, as usual, by the one and only Carol Danvers. Resident jock, captain of the division one team, aspiring pilot, rumored sex god extrodinare, Carol Danvers. She’s quite the legend around campus, but not exactly for her work ethic as it pertains to academic pursuits, which are... lacking, to put it politely.

“Do you have my notes for me,” she asks, holding her hand out. “I need to at least act like I’m going to study tonight, right?”

You roll your eyes. “Carol, why do you ask for my notes if you never use them? You do realize that mere possession of the notes will not translate into you understanding the material, yes? You have to actually read them in order for the information to enter your head.”

Your reply is snarky, short and snappy, but you’re fed up with Carol at this point. She asks you for notes in all the classes you share together (which, granted, is not many,) but never seems to read them or take any of her classes very seriously. Carol narrows her eyes at the response.

“I’ll just sleep on them? Os--”

You cut her off, finishing her sentence.

“--mosis does not apply, Carol. You know that. You cannot absorb the material through the pores of your skin. Read the notes, and actually try for once, or stop bothering me. I could be taking notes for myself, rather than focusing on summarizing all of the lectures so that you can stuff them into your bag, never to see the light of day again. Don’t ask me for notes again unless you’re ready to be serious.”

With that, you hastily pull out a few papers from your bag, not bothering to double check if they were the correct ones or not. You shove the papers into Carol’s and turn away sharply, not bothering to look back. Granted, you were headed in the completely wrong direction, but you weren’t about to give Carol the satisfaction of seeing your face again.

Of course, Carol knows that you hardly need notes for your own purposes. Summarizing the lectures for her provides you with the information you need to keep your own mind sharp, with years of literary study and reading filling in the blanks to broader context for you. But still, you love to hassle her. Carol does feel guilty occasionally, knowing how much work you put into the notes you take for her. They’re always organized, and you write important little tidbits down in the margins. She always glances at them, but can never bring herself to actually study the notes.

Tonight is different. Carol is inspired, reenergized by your scathing talk. She sits down at her desk, and finally pulls out the notes you gave her. She reads the first line, and laughs to herself.

These definitely weren’t the notes she meant to give me, she thinks to herself.

_______________________________________________________________________

You’re startled out of your evening study session by a loud ding from your phone. Normally, you wouldn’t check your phone in the middle of studying, but you’re intrigued.

Your jaw drops slightly when you notice that the text is from Carol.

8:57 hey. I’ve got a question about the notes

You’re shocked. Carol actually... read the notes?

9:00 Shoot for it. How can I help?

9:01 Well. The notes weren’t really on Waiting for Godot

9:04 Oh. Did I give you a repeat copy of last weeks’?

9:05 Well, I wouldn’t exactly say that they’re standard academic notes

You roll your eyes at her comment, typing out a harsh response before deleting it and sending a far more cordial reply.

9:06 Oh?

9:07 Well, for starters, I don’t think that Waiting for Godot has anything to do with sex.

Attached to her text is a picture of your recent exploration of the things that turned you on, or as you aptly named it “An empirical study of the things that make me wet.”

You’d never meant for anyone to see it, ever. It was purely a list of the things that you desperately wanted to try, things you enjoyed watching and reading, various things that interested you.

You’d written the list mostly as a joke, as a way to get the ideas out of your head. You wondered how it even found your way into your backpack, and you’re ready to curl up into a ball and cry when Carol texts you again.

9:13 I could help you, you know

9:14 I have a few things that I could teach you

9:15 What do you say we make a deal?

You swallow thickly, intrigued.

9:17 What sort of deal?

9:19 You teach me literature.

9:21 I’ll fulfill your deepest fantasies. (And take you out on a date ;) )

You blink slowly, unable to process the words appearing on your screen. A date? Lessons in sex? It all seems to be far too much to handle, and you’re not sure if Carol is serious. The prospect is alluring, however, and you can’t help but admit that you’ve had the tiniest (largest) of crushes on Carol ever since you saw her in that signature leather jacket of hers, kicking her legs up against the desk in front of her, even if your feelings were against your better judgment. You knew she was aware of this fact, and the way you were always angry around him for some odd reason.

9:24 If this is a joke, it isn’t funny, Carol.

9:30 I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow. Be ready. We’re getting pasta.

__________________________________________________________________________

“So. You want to be a pilot, but now you’re here playing rugby and studying literature?”

Carol shrugs.

“My best friend Maria and I were supposed to enlist together, but some shit happened and he needed me to stick around. I’ve always been good at rugby even though my dad hated that I played sports, and so I stuck around here. Got a full scholarship for rugby, and put the dream of flying aside. The academy will always be there. It’s not what I wanted, but it’s what Maria needed. I couldn’t just leave her when she needed me most.”

You smile softly at Carol, shocked by her sudden display of emotion. She’s clearly conflicted, and her eyes drift up to the sky, staring wistfully at the dimming horizon.

“I think that’s very brave of you, Carol. You’re a really good friend,” you say, reaching out to place a hand atop hers in a sudden burst of confidence. The evening had been oddly pleasant, and conversation flowed between the two of you. Granted, Carol was still somewhat of an egotistical jerk, but she was obviously emotionally conflicted, and she had sacrificed her biggest dream to help her closest friend when she needed it most.

Carol looks down at your hand, tensing up for a second before flipping her palm to meet yours and giving your hand a quick squeeze.

“I’m alright, ok? I don’t want you worrying about me.”

You nod. Carol smiles, and moves to stand up.

“What do you say we get out of here, and head back to my place? Maybe watch a movie?”

You smile, nodding at Carol. “I’d like that a lot,” you whisper. “I’d like that.”

Carol holds her hand out to you, helping you up out of your chair. You move to pull your hand out of hers, assuming she meant to just assist you up, but she holds on firmly as the two of you walk back to her vintage red Mustang.

The drive back to her apartment is filled with throwbacks from the 90s, widows open and hair wild. You’re both singing the words of the songs obnoxiously, relishing in the sweet freedom of the open night.

When you finally reach her apartment, your eyes are bright and your hair is messy. You look over at Carol, messy hair strewn about. You begin to laugh uncontrollably, with Carol joining shortly after upon seeing your own windblown look.

When the laughter finally succeeds, you look over at Carol to find her gazing at you intently. You laugh apprehensively, but Carol’s gaze does not falter.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful,” she asks.

You nod your head slowly. “Not really, no.”

“But you had a boyfriend?”

You nod. “It wasn’t really the best of situations. I’ve since come to many realizations about myself since then.”

Carol smiles. “Well, then I guess I’ll just have to tell you as many times as I possibly can to make up for the lack of times you’ve been told that.”

“Carol, I don’t even know how to respond to that,” you sputter out.

“So don’t.”

Carol leans in over the middle of the car, hesitantly pressing her lips against yours in a tender kiss. You’re surprised at first, but you lean into the kiss, melting against her mouth. Your hands tangle in her already messy hair, and you smile against her lips. The kiss intensifies as your hands begin to roam down Carol’s back, fingers itching to explore. She pulls her hands off of you, smiling softly.

“Let’s head inside, Princess. We can have a lot more fun in my bedroom than we ever will out here.”

You nod your head, eagerly anticipating the next steps.

When you reach her apartment, he leads you past the kitchen, flipping on various light switches as she heads through the living room, finally reaching her bedroom. It’s surprisingly neat, with framed photos of her and a woman that you guessed was her friend Maria. There’s a small pin shaped like a sort of star resting atop her desk, with a framed photo of an adorable orange kitten. Her bed is neatly made, and the room is incredibly put together.

“You like it, huh?”

You jump, startled by Carol’s voice.

“Yeah. Um, it’s very nice,” you reply. “Super neat.”

Carol laughs.

“Yeah, for all my disorganization at school, I do like to keep my apartment pretty tidy.”

Carol walks over to her desk and picks up your list.

“I think this belongs to you, my darling. We don’t have to do anything with it, or even speak of it again should you so wish that to be the case.”

You bite your lip, considering your options.

“Were you really serious, Carol?”

Your heart is beating fast, and your palms are beginning to grow clammy.

She laughs.

“Of course I was serious, Princess. Why would I offer if I wasn’t?”

You look down, mumbling your answer out.

“I didn’t really think someone like you would ever be interested in someone like me, honestly.”

Carol laughs, walking over to you. She gently tilts your chin up, meeting your eyes.

“Hey. You’re smart, you’re beautiful, and you drive me up a wall when you’re yelling at me to fucking finally read your notes, as you so kindly put it in your own words. Of course I would be interested in a girl like you. You’re incredible.”

She kisses you softly, slipping hers hands underneath your sweater. Breaking away for a second, she whispers to stop her if anything is too much. Green for go, she says. Red for stop.

Her hands roam up your body, making their way up to your neck. She gently squeezes at the column of your throat, whispering in your ear.

“I noticed you had this on your list, Princess. I did read your notes this time, and I did study up. I know all the things that could make you tick. And yet, I still want to hear you tell me what you want. You want me to choke you? Squeeze your throat till you’re begging me to stop?”

“Yes, please,” you moan out.

“Then use your words, Princess. Mmm... and what else should we do today? What other things from your little list do you want to try? I know you don’t want to start off simple... You even said so yourself. Tell me with your words, Princess. Tell me what you want.”

You gasp, head tipping back as Carol’s hands resume their exploration of your body.

“Cat got your tongue, Princess? Normally you’re so vocal during class... Why change now?”

You moan again, unable to speak properly as Carol’s fingers find your nipples, gently pinching. He pinches harder when you are unable to answer her question.

Moving hers hand to cup your jaw, he harshly tilts your face to look at him.

“Answer me, Princess. I’m growing impatient and I don’t have all day. Normally you’re so quick to answer. What a shame.”

“Put me in my place, please,” you gasp out, voice breaking. “I want you to edge me and spank me and punish me and tell me what a naughty little girl I’ve been, touching myself to the thought of you. I want to eat you out while I’m forced to touch myself, unable to cum without your permission. I want you to choke me as you pound me into the mattress with your cock, reminding me of my place. I want to be your good little girl, moaning only your name as you show me who I belong to.”

Carol smirks.

“I’ll be honest—I always knew you had a thing for me. You weren’t exactly discreet. The secret is, I had a thing for you too. I wasn’t expecting you to write about me in your notes, though. And I definitely wasn’t expecting you to write something like that ever. Our little teacher’s pet, our good little girl, the smartest girl in class—and such filthy thoughts! Didn’t take me long to figure out who the mysterious blonde figure was. You wrote some pretty explicit stuff in there, Princess. You’re such a filthy little whore... So many dirty thoughts! Imagine if those notes had fallen into the wrong hands...”

Carol’s hands dip to the edge of your sweater, swiftly pulling it off of your body. She cocks an eyebrow at you upon seeing the lacy navy blue bodysuit underneath that you’d specifically selected for tonight.

“Did you wear this just for me?”

You nod.

“Good girl. I like the way you think. Now, take off those pants for me. While you’re at it, get rid of that lacey little thing. It’s pretty, but you’re prettier.”

You obey her quickly, shedding every stitch of clothing from your body. You’re trembling with excitement and anticipation, and you’re nervous as Carol’s eyes rake up and down your body.

“Stunning,” she says, never taking her eyes off of your body. “You’re absolutely perfect. I can’t wait to teach you how to be a good little slut for me... you’re such a good learner. Wonder if that translates in the bedroom?”

You groan, rolling your eyes. “Why don’t you shut up and find out already?”

Carol laughs condescendingly.

“You sure you want to mouth off like that, Princess?”

You nod. “You seem to be all talk right now, and no action.”

Carol growls. “We can change that. I don’t tolerate brats around here. Brats get punished. If you’re a good girl, you get rewarded. Which is it going to be tonight, Princess. I need an answer.”

You roll your eyes without even thinking. “Just fuck me already, Carol.”

Carol tangles her hand in your hair, pulling your head back. “I told you that brats get punished. It looks like you've selected the brat role tonight. Get on your fucking hands and knees. I’m not going to ask you a second time.”

You quickly obey, scrambling onto your hands and knees. You wiggle your ass slightly, but Carol firmly holds it in place.

“Stop. Now, since this is your first time, I’m going to take it easy on you. We are only going to do ten, but mark my words, if you pull this sort of bratting on me again, I can and will increase that number. Now, I want you to count.”

The first strike comes faster than you were expecting, but it does not hurt as much as you thought it would.

“One,” you gasp out.

Carol strikes again, harder this time.

“Two,” you gasp out again.

He continues, hitting a bit harder each time, and your ass is red by the finish.

“Good girl,” she whispers in the shell of your ear. “You took your first punishment so well for me—it is almost like you were made to do this...”

She ghosts her fingers lightly over your neck, drifting down to your collarbone before moving her hands to gently massage the soft tissue of your breasts.

With a gentle slap to your aching ass, she gives you a new set of instructions.

“Now. For our next lesson, you’re going to suck me off. The better you do, the less edges I’ll give you tonight. I hope you’ve been studying, Princess. Either that, or you just better wish that this comes naturally for you.”

Carol swiftly pulls her pants and boxers down and throws her shirt to the side, revealing her toned abs and muscled back. You can see her muscles ripple as she stretches her arms above her head to take her shirt off. Your jaw goes slightly slack at the sight of her perfect nude figure.

“Close your mouth, Princess. You’ll catch flies.”

You blush. “Sorry, Carol. You’re just so beautiful.”

Carol winks. “I can tell, Princess. Your eyes haven’t left my torso.”

You giggle, but quickly stop when Carol moves directly in front of you.

“Test time, Princess. Hope you’ve studied. But, if you haven’t, I’ll allow for retakes. Think of this one as a pretext, if you will. How much do I need to teach you when it comes to this particular subject?”

You moan at her words, mouth salivating. You’re desperate to touch her, to run your tongue over her strap. Carol leans down to press a quick kiss upon your lips, immediately guiding your face to her strap after. You’re unsure of what to do at first, the feeling foreign upon your tongue. Eventually, you begin to find your rhythm, head bobbing as you introduce a hand to match your rhythm. You continue your tiny kitten licks, timing them with the thrust of your fingers. Carol is silent for the most part, but every so often she breaks her stoic silence with a loud moan or gasp when you hit a particularly sensitive spot against her body. You grind against the pillow that Carol has placed between your legs, annoyed with the lack of friction you got, but thankful to have anything at all. Your tongue continues its way along Carol’s strap, body quivering with pleasure.

It isn’t long before she’s moaning continuously.

After all, you have always been a very quick learner.

Carol pulls away, and you whimper at the loss of contact. She messily kisses you, groaning at the taste of herself on your tongue.

“For your first time, that was surprisingly good.”

You beam in satisfaction.

“However, I’m still going to edge you at least five times.”

You whimper.

“But Carol—“

“No buts, pretty girl. It’s for your own pleasure, alright? It’s good to practice delayed gratification. Now, get over there on the back of the bed for me. Spread those legs as wide as you can. I want that dripping cunt of yours on display.”

You move off of your pillow, following her instructions. Carol walks over to you, hovering over you on the bed as she cages your body with her arms.

“I want to hear every moan you make,” she growls. “Don’t hold back on me, Princess.”

You nod.

“Yes, Carol.”

Carol smiles and strokes a single finger through your dripping folds. You shudder. The feeling of her soft fingertips against your throbbing core is heavenly, and you’re unable to hide from the breathless moan that escapes your mouth.

Carol continues to slide her fingers through the folds of your cunt, relishing in the puffy texture as she explores. Her fingers trace small circles here and there, dipping into your soaking hole when she feels like doing so, pinching your clit, edging you into oblivion.

You ask her to cum numerous times, but she always pulls away. Finally, she pulls away for the last time.

“You can cum this time, Princess. But I want to cum on my cock for me like a good little slut, alright? I want you to scream my name for me. Let the whole world know you’re mine now.”

You nod, moaning at her filthy words. She carefully lines up with you and thrusts in quickly, giving you a chance to adjust to the size and foreign feeling of the cock inside of you.

When you nod at her, she begins to thrust her hips at an ungodly pace, hitting that perfect spot inside of you that makes your eyes roll into the back of your head. She moves one hand to your clit, rubbing tight little circles over the throbbing organ, and her other hand moves to your throat, lightly pressing down. She’s pushing you into the mattress, firmly grinning the column of your neck as her hips thrust faster and faster.

“You like it when I choke you? When your brain starts to go a little bit foggy and you can’t tell if it’s from the sex or lack of air? You like it when I tell you what a good little slut you are, taking my cock like such a good little Princess, showing how well you learn and how well you take instruction?”

“Yes,” you manage to gasp out in between moans. “Please, fuck me harder.”

Although it seemed humanly impossible, Carol managed to fuck you harder. The relentless snap of her hips grew faster, thrusts hitting further and further inside of you each time. The hand rubbing your clit runs faster, harder, and just before you’re about to rip over the edge, Carol whispers in your ear.

“Cum for me, Princess. Cum like the good little girl you are.”

You scream out in ecstasy as you tip over the edge, collapsing against the mattress. Carol pulls out, falling into bed next to you, wrapping her arms around you as she presses kisses to your neck and collarbone, drifting up to your forehead.

“You did so well, Princess. You’re such a good learner. Looks like you’re just as good in here as you are in a classroom.”

You smile.

“I try my best. Honestly, that’s all I can ever do.”

Carol smiles.

“A good attitude to have. Now, let’s go get you cleaned up.”

A few snacks, some water, and one blissful shower later, you’re dressed in Carol’s old sweatpants and sweatshirt as you climb into bed beside him. She’d invited you to stay the night, and you hadn’t been able to resist. Carol flips the lights off, pressing a delicate, featherlight kiss to your forehead.

As you lay in bed however, you remember an important fact.

“I still have to teach you all of literature,” you mumble.

Carol laughs softly.

“And I have many things to teach you still, darling. But for now, sleep.”

You smile, closing your eyes as you feel Carol’s grip on you grow stronger.

Literature could wait until tomorrow.

#carol danvers smut #carol danvers #carol danvers x reader #captain marvel x reader #captain marvel smut #god i cannot believe i am back here #holy hell #help lmaooooo

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kichiyosh1 · 1 year

Text

Me or my mother?

scaramouche/kunikuzushi x reader

slight angst/comfort

w//: if you squint (or even if you don't) I would say this counts as a yandere kuni aswell! just cuz he is really jelly and possesive of you in this one

Let's say Ei did keep the puppet and had given him a new purpose to live freely, but due to her busy schedule, she has you keep him company. Soon, Kunikuzushi begins to realize how frequent you are to leave him for when his mother calls for you, and from there his anxiety grows. Is it jealousy or insecurity? heck if I know!

Kunikuzushi was free to stay in his mother's estate, same as he was also allowed to visit the streets of Inazuma if he ever so wishes, but that currently isn't his main objective of the day.

"Kunikuzushi!" Ah, what great timing you have.

Right from the moment he opened his eyes after what felt like a long dream, all he was able to recall from the scene was that you had stepped forward bowing your head.

"I would be honored to serve you both, my Archon."

"Excellent, then you shall be entrusted with this task."

It had only been a few weeks since then, but the puppet had already grown very attached to you, to the point you can see the visible frown on his adorable face whenever there were other duties you had to attend to. The longing looks and the hesitant grip he'd have on your sleeve along with how meek and tiny his voice would get, it really was an effective way to keep you rooted into place, and the fact that he did all this unbeknownst to even him? It really showed how innocent of a person he was. Just wants your attention is all.

"y/n! good morning, how nice of you to drop by," yeah, like he wasn't already anticipating your arrival. "Good morning to you as well, oh, I came here to drop off a few things." In your hands was a tray of food, and despite his unecessary need for it, he was insistent on trying your cooking, even willing to choke on some sweets and desserts if it meant he'd be eating food that you made just for him. "Mhm smells good, say, why don't we share the meal, I think you deserve to eat a portion of your own cooking too, right?" Giddily taking hold of the tray, ready to lead you to his place in the estate when he sees you're not following him.

"Is something the matter?"

"Nothing that should concern you too much, the Electro Archon has called me in for the day to discuss matters concerning—" His mother called for you? "Oh, unfortunately I didn't have time to prepare your food since I was busy arranging my materials, so I had one of the maids make it for you. Please go on without me, it won't take long I promise." You were already facing the opposite direction before you could finish your sentence. "Eat well kunikuzushi!" you turned your head with a wave, while all he could do was stand there, his eyes switching between the tray in his hands and your disappearing figure.

He was confused by two things, one: how could you leave him there so quickly? and two: so this ISN'T your cooking?

"Why would I eat something prepared by a stranger? blegh." He set the tray down and stuck his tongue out in a childishly manner, displeasure written all over his face and gesture with his hands curled to his chest, like he was scared the food would jump out at him or something.

"I-I wasn't hungry anyways, I'll just wait until you get back." he says to himself nodding his head, since there was no y/n in the vicinity for him to say that to. What a silly little man.

He's come to the realization that your meetings with the shogun have become more frequent, more than he would like

It was cutting off his quality time with you

Sure that's his mom you're meeting with and you basically work for her but you were also assigned to him weren't you? Which means you should be here by his side right now attending to HIS needs, not hers >:(

Why did she have to pick you of all people anyway? there are plenty others in the estate that are at her beck and call, so why did it have to be his dear y/n :(

You said it was nothing to worry about, oh but it was worrying HIM very, very much

He's tried different methods so you wouldn't have to attend those stupid meetings, latching on to you and blocking your path, the most desperate one of his attempts was probably locking you up in his room, it didn't last long though since you threatened him you'd ask for a transfer if he continued acting like this (which you meant playfully but it almost gave kuni a heart attack)

It was like watching a puppy stand by it's door waiting for it's master to come home

and everytime you would return, you would always have something to say about ei. "she was in a good mood today"," she thaught me techniques in order to do my work more efficiently." the meeting was already over so why were you still mentioning her?

With how much time you had gone from him, he was starting to think you enjoyed his mother's company more, was that it?

Was his childish personality to immature for you? do you prefer if he had that same strict and authoritive demeanor his mother had? Were you really going through with that threat of yours? wanting to transfer?

Do you really like her more than him?

Now he just HAD to be in one of those meetings, it was a must he got to the bottom of this before he goes absolutely crazy, and to his suprise you agreed to bring him to your next one

So there he was, sat a little way from you.

Oh, so was it usuall just you and his mother alone during these? which means all your attention would be on her right?

oh hell nah, she's trying to steal you away from him wasn't she?!

Kunikuzushi was quick to shoo you out of there once his mother dismissed you

cue sad ei noises because her son didn't eat any of the deserts she prepared

When you asked him why he was so quick to leave you were thrown with the most sudden question

"...what was that?"

"Me or my mother? It shouldn't be hard for you to decide right?" He was obviously the only right answer, so why was it taking awhile for you to reply?

"Are you really contemplating this...?" He had repeated this question many times in his head, and he swore everytime that he wasn't going to cry, but now that it was out there in the open he could feel liquid pulling in his eyes. Were these what you humans called tears? a product of ones sadness and frustration?

"What reason would I have to choose between-"

"You've been 'hanging' out with her more recently! we used to spend all day together but we barely have time for that anymore because you're always quick to leave me when it concerns her. Is it because you've already grown tired of me? you like her more than me..?"

The amount of hurt written on his face and heard in his trembling voice had you grimacing at your actions. You never intended for him to feel this way, you had no idea he was hurting on the inside because of your ignorance. So you took a step, slowly to not startle him as if he were some corner creature, handling it with the utmost care you've always had, reserved only for him.

"My sweet, darling kunikuzushi." You start, craddling his face so that he'd meet your eyes, letting him know he had your full attention.

"I apologize for my actions. I had failed to see the pain you felt and made you feel neglected, but know that I would never choose anything or anyone over you, no matter what or who they might be."

His tears have fallen, but not even a sniffle was let out, as he made sure he was able to hear your voice, the voice he had missed speaking to him, loud and clear.

"The reason for this is because her personal attendant hasn't been present as of late due to a sickness they caught. Your mother thought i'd be good to fill in for the meantime, and this way I would also be able to report to her regarding your wellbeing."

That was the genuine truth, and he believes you, and as you continued speaking he slowly let his arms engulf you, a sigh of relief escaping him as you continued giving him words of reassurance.

He was content with your answer, but before he could be truly satisfied he needed to hear you say it.

"You still didn't answer my question."

"Which one?"

"Me or my mother? This time I'm only giving you three seconds to-"

"You, kuni. I'll always choose you, but do keep in mind I still work for her."

You let out a chuckle as kunikuzushi let out a pout, puffing his cheeks and crossing his arms, back to his usual self you see.

"Hmph, I should still be your top priority, always, the same as you are mine."

"Alright, alright, you really can be childish sometimes, but that's one of the things I love about you."

and with that, kunikuzushi could finally sleep peacefully, knowing his chances of having you to himself are high up there, so goodluck getting to your next meeting.

(I DIDN'T PROOF READ BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S THAT BAD)

#genshin impact x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #kunikuzushi #kunikuzushi x reader #wanderer #wanderer x reader #kabukimono #kabukimono x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x y/n #yandere scaramouche x reader #yandere scaramouche

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nkjemisin · 2 years

Text

To the person who asked about the immorality of my fiction --

I'm replying publicly so other folks can see my answer, but doing it this way to keep your name out of it. You asked, "Hey, is it true you write incest and child rape and fucked up sex? Why, my dude? You're a good writer, you don't have to do that immoral stuff!"

Yep, it's true, I do write about lots of uncomfy-making stuff in my fiction! I tend to write about topics like systemic oppression, identity, sexuality, generational trauma, abuse, power dynamics, and more, just because those are the directions my writer-brain takes me. Exploring those topics in a way that does them justice sometimes requires that I actually depict the "immoral"* things happening, explicitly or implicitly, and sometimes in harrowing ways. If I do my job right, then readers will empathize with the character(s) experiencing this bad thing, and maybe think more about the topic. If I screw it up, and I do sometimes, then people who've actually been through this in real life will feel like I've trivialized something important and intrinsic to their lived experience. So when it becomes necessary for me to write about these topics, I try to do them justice and not tapdance around the gory details, because I'm a good writer and that's what being a good writer means, to me.

That said, you're asking about morality**, which has nothing to do with being a good writer. There are lots of excellent writers in the world who aren't good people, as you've probably noticed. Maybe you've decided that I'm not a good person either; okay, if so. But writer or not, you cannot become a good person by pretending evil doesn't exist. Evil looooves silence. If you want to fix that evil, you have to talk about it, honestly and uncomfortably, and you have to make sure that everyone gets to participate in that conversation -- especially the people who are most harmed by that evil. Even bad fiction about these topics creates more space for those people to participate in the conversation. Without that space, the people controlling the conversation will inevitably be those with the most social power. That's going to be the rapists, the racists, the rich people who hate poor people, and so on, because the most immoral acts in our society pretty much boil down to abuse of power.

For me, it's simple: I think it's far more immoral to avoid Topic X and thus allow it to flourish, than it is to address the topic in a way that hopefully facilitates justice. So the latter is what I do.

*Scare quotes here because I don't know what "fucked up sex" is supposed to mean. If it's between consenting adults, it's not fucked up. If there's no consent or adults involved, it's rape.

**I do consider some speech immoral -- namely that which facilitates abuses of power, like hate speech and copaganda. But I could write a whole essay on this, and I got stuff to do today.

#answered asks #sort of

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misctf · 7 months

Text

End of Summer

The end of summer was always bittersweet for Jason, who had spent the summer between his semesters lifeguarding at his hometown’s pool. It would only be a week before he returned to the busy life of a college student, and the pool closing for the season often signified that transition. Although bittersweet, Jason just appreciated that he was able to keep his job. When the pool changed owners, he was worried that the new owner might not rehire him for the season. But Mr. Galvin seemed happy to hire him for the summer. And when Jason saw how much he was being offered, he was more than happy to sign his contract. The young lifeguard sighed as he finished locking up the main gates and headed towards his boss’s office to return the keys.

“Alright Mr. Galvin, it’s been real.” Jason said, handing the keys to his boss, a middle-aged man with graying hair and piercing blue eyes. Jason always felt uneasy around the man, but he was just happy to have a job, “Thanks for the lifeguarding gig this summer. I appreciate it.”

Mr. Galvin nodded, “Well of course, and Jason you did such an excellent job. I’m excited to see how you do in the fall.” He looked over at the clock on the wall and smiled.

Jason raised an eyebrow. That was a pretty weird thing to say if he was being honest, “With school?” Jason asked.

Mr. Galvin chuckled, “No with your new job. The new season starts in just a minute.”

“I don’t know what you mean. I’m not starting a new...” Jason froze as he felt a sudden tingle run through his entire body, which was quickly followed by an intense heat. He groaned in discomfort and fell to his knees, gripping his abdomen.

“Oh Jason, did you not read the contract?” Mr. Galvin said, standing up from his desk. He watched as Jason rolled over, groaning as his muscles contracted, “Summer is over and I don’t really need a lifeguard anymore. But I do need someone to tend to the orchard for the fall season.”

Jason grabbed at his shirt and ripped it off, basking in the cool room air as his body overheated. He groaned as he felt a bubbling in his stomach and grabbed his abs. It felt like his entire body was convulsing- each muscle tightening and contracting. And then, he let out the loudest belch that he ever had. If his frat bros heard, they would’ve high-fived him, but in this situation, Jason was too confused to celebrate.

“Wh-what the hell is happening to me?” He groaned, another loud belch filling the room. It felt like his body was starting to fill with air.

Mr. Galvin didn’t reply, only watching as Jason’s muscle started to grow. His pecs, biceps, triceps, and back all seemed to fill with muscle. And it didn’t stop. As Jason continued to belch, his musculature grew and expanded. The young man was horrified as he felt his body grow against his will. His lean swimmer’s build was slowly becoming that of a body builder's.

“You’re turning out so well so far.” Mr. Galvin remarked, watching closely as Jason’s muscular physique began to fill with fat.

His abs became covered in a thick layer of firm fat, while his pecs jiggled with the extra fat. Jason would disagree though and as he gripped his thicker abdomen, he felt tears well up in his eyes. He was proud of his swimmer’s build. This physique- while certainly bigger- was not built for swimming. His body seemed more built for hard labor.

“What *burp* is this?” Jason let out another burp as his stomach continued to expand.

“I guess you didn’t read that contract all too closely.” Mr. Galvin remarked, “But I need some help on the orchard. And now that summer is over and I no longer need a lifeguard, I’m hopeful that we can get you to fit your new role as a farmhand.”

“A farmhand?” Jason’s eyes widened as he watched some of his golden locks fall from his head, “But... college?”

Mr. Galvin shook his head and walked up to Jason, “No more college Jason. Just working on the orchard. Just a smelly, stupid farmhand that follows directions.”

Jason wanted to protest, but a voice from inside his head prevented him from doing so, “Jus’ a stoopid smelly worker boy.” The voice said, chuckling. It was a beckoning voice, slow and dumb, but welling up from deep within his mind. And Jason was confused. Where did that voice even come from? He was a college student- successful in his classes. He had aspirations. So where did this dumb internal voice come from? But before he could think it through even more, an intense itchiness erupted throughout his body. Hair sprouted from his clean shaven chest and face, rapidly growing and spiraling down his abdomen. His arms were no exception and Jason felt his heart sink as he gazed at his new hairy body.

“God darnit!” Jason shouted, his eyes widening at the sound of his voice. It was deeper, slower- resembling that of the voice in his head, “Naw way! This ain’t happenin’!” He let out another belch and then another.

With each belch, Jason felt like he was losing something. His thoughts seemed to slow down and the situation was becoming too complex for his brain to handle. It just didn’t make any sense. Was he ever a lifeguard or a college student? How do you go from one of those things to a farmhand? What exactly was real? Jason’s brain was starting to hurt more as he tried to think through this problem. But as he looked at himself and felt his new body, he struggled to rationalize that he had been anything else prior to this.

“Like I ‘member bein’ ah smart guy.” Jason remarked, “An’ college an’ stuff. But that ain’t whut ahm now.” He belched again and let out a dim chuckle, “Ah do like farmin’ though!” He said confidently as memories and knowledge on how to take care of the orchard filled his mind. All remnants of Jason’s prior life were squeezed into the far recesses as new knowledge invaded his mind.

Mr. Galvin nodded, satisfied with his new worker. Jason might not be the smartest tool in the box, but he was a good worker- always making the extra effort... one of the only things that Mr. Galvin felt was appropriate to leave behind. And with the start of the fall season and getting the orchard ready, Mr. Galvin was satisfied with the end result. Jason for his part remained a strong worker, enjoying his time out in the orchard. On occasion he would remember his life prior to being a simple farmhand, but he could barely make much sense of it. And what he did remember scared him. And so as the fall season came to a close, he was more than happy to renew his contract.

#male tf #male transformation #personality tf #mental change

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goldeunoias · 8 months

Text

Decisions.

A/N: I like writing for Jay stans the most because they give me the most reblogs and comments instead of just only leaving likes (which doesn't really do much darlings) soooo here's a Jay fic for you amazing guys <;33333333

Summary: Yandere! JayX Female Reader (it shows bit by bit the more it goes on)

word count: 3,1k i think idk

Warnings: this literally has my favorites, horse cock Jay, teasing dom Jay, like multiple orgasms, just like....horknee thoughts bc it's me....upon proofreading there is like...anal fingering look I'm....a whore okay.

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10 years ago~

Jongseong sniffled as he sat down with his lunch, once again eating alone. Had he known the kids here would be so mean he would've begged his parents to let him stay back where he was from with his grandmother, but to no avail.

"Hello! I like your glasses! They make you look smart. Are you?" the girl who stood in front of him curiously asked. She was the first person who had even bothered to stare in his direction, let alone talk to him.

"U-Uh I don't know. Maybe?" he cautiously replied, waiting for a cruel punchline to follow.

Instead, she giggled, sitting with her lunch in front of him.

"You're cute," she laughed, opening her lunch.

Jongseong looked down shyly, feeling his ears turn into shades of peonies.

From that point on he'd always thought you cuter.

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You stood outside the club, wondering what the hell you were thinking.

You'd never been in a proper relationship.

Never been on a proper date.

And yet here you were, outside a BDSM club with an appointment that you'd made.

"Well, I'm sure women have made dumber decisions," you muttered to yourself, shaking out your sweaty palms and walking inside. The establishment looked excellent and pristine, which was expected since it was your city's nicest and safest S&M club. So at the bare minimum, your impulsive decision was backed by somewhat sound logic.

When you went up to the counter you found a petite lady wearing a mask, though you saw the corners of her eyes turn up as you approached.

"Hello, do you have an appointment?" she said in a soft voice. You nodded and told her your name and appointment time, thankful the receptionist seemed professional and not judgemental like your anxiety had expected.

"You're gonna be in room 305, with Jongseong Park as confirmed in our phone call. We recommend that you shower for hygiene, and there are bathrooms located in each of the rooms. If there are any accommodations missing such as towels, soap, or anything else feel free to use the phone to call and a staff member will bring items as needed. If you feel scared or unsafe at any time there are red buttons in our rooms which can be pressed and staff members will rush to aid you. Our doms go through different training and extensive background checks so rest assured you are in safe hands," she informed you gently, giving you a brief description of how to find your room.

You gave her a sincere "thank you" and walked off to find your room, finding it easy enough thanks to her directions. As expected, when you opened the room no one was there since you were informed on the phone that your master doesn't show up until you've pressed one on the phone, to make sure you have ample time to prep if needed.

From appearance, it looked like a normal hotel room, though upon further inspection you found many BDSM items in the drawers and cabinets. You wrote on your profile and informed me on the phone that you needed someone who would ease you very gently into all of this. You took a shower and got into the bathrobe that was complimentary, still keeping your underwear as you were too nervous to go completely naked just yet.

Taking a deep breath you went over to the phone and pressed one, sitting on the bed and twiddling your thumbs until his arrival. There were three knocks on the door before it slowly opened, the man keeping his head down as he stood at the threshold.

He asked you for your name and you told him, Jongseong raising his head once he had confirmation it was you. His voice was deep and warm, causing goosebumps to rise on your freshly washed skin as he slowly walked over to you.

He knelt down at the foot of the bed where you sat, grabbing your hands and massaging them gently.

"Mm, you're even prettier than the photos they gave me kitten. Is it okay if I call you that?" he inquired sweetly, the gentle command he held in his tone making your spine tingle.

"T-that's okay," you stuttered out, the cotton bathrobe feeling 10x hotter now. "Do you have a preference on what you like to be called?"

You watched as Jongseong cocked his head to the side in playful thought, the shadow of his jawline becoming more prominent as he did so.

"Why don't you call me 'sir'. Or you can call me my name if 'sir' feels too intimidating," he added on, squeezing your hands when he felt your erratic heartbeat through your wrists.

"That works," you rushed out, feeling stupid in his presence. "Sorry you probably have way more experienced clients and better ones than dealing with someone like me," you apologized.

Jongseong shook his head and pulled your hands so you were even closer to him, his lips only centimeters away from yours as he spoke.

"Never feel bad for lack of experience kitten. That's what you're here for isn't it?"

You nodded.

"Exactly. And I'm here to make you feel good. Can I kiss you?" he asked gently, smiling slightly when you nodded. His lips were soft in a way that made your toes curl, your hands clenching the material of your bathrobe as you didn't know what else to do with them.

Jongseong sensing your slight discomfort moved your hands around his neck, gently moving you so you were on your back and he was on top of you.

"When was the last time you were kissed kitten?"

You tensed up at the question and told him through bashful stares that it was freshmen year of college, and you weren't even sure that that counted.

"Sorry, can you tell I'm not the greatest," you muttered out, biting down on your lips in nerves. Jongseong avidly shook his head and pressed his thumb against your bottom lip to prevent you from biting it, cooing at you gently.

"You're just tense is all, holding back. If you came to a place like this that means you have at least some curiosity in kinky sex no?" He teased, holding your chin when you tried to look away from him.

You gulped and nodded.

"Words for me kitten, I gotta have your verbal confirmation on things no?"

"I do." you meekly replied. "I just thought well, um...I'd get more satisfaction if I went to a place like this," you explained to him, your body melting when Jongseong started leaving open-mouth kisses on your neck.

"Mmhmm, tell me more," he urged on, grabbing both of your hands and pinning them above your head.

"I've only had minor sexual experiences in high school and had "real" sex early in college and they weren't good so I gave up on relationships and sex since I didn't-" A moan left your throat as Jongseong's tongue swirled around your pulse.

"Continue kitten," he teased, noticing how you started melting into his touches versus tensing up at them.

"...I d-didn't get good experiences. But I recently got curious and so here I am," you finished. Jongseong came up to your face with a smile that held sinister intent, leaning in close to you.

"Don't worry kitten, I'll make you feel good..." he trailed off, biting your ear gently. "So good that you'll come back to me every time..."

Before you could answer his lips pressed back against yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth with ease. His mouth felt hot and the texture of his tongue against yours made you whimper, feeling droplets of his saliva trickle into your mouth.

When he pulled back you instinctively reached for him and Jongseong couldn't help but smile internally as he let you pull him back in, letting you set the rhythm you wanted.

Your skin was so soft against his callused hands, better than he'd imagined as he slid his fingers underneath your robe and undid it. Before you could cover yourself he pinned your hands to your sides and took an erect nipple into his mouth, letting you feel the texture of his tongue as it swirled around delicately.

You bit down on your tongue to keep what you thought were embarrassing noises in your throat, Jongseong huffing and coming up to stare at you.

"Why aren't you moaning kitten? Are not feeling good?" he inquired sweetly, circling his warm finger around your saliva-laden nipple. You were caught off guard by it and let out a yelp, rushing to cover your mouth before lowering it.

"It's um, not that...I just won't sound like those girls in hentai or porn and I don't know what I am supposed to sound like...is all," you finished weirdly, following Jongseong's movements as he went to the other pert nipple, delicately flicking it with his tongue.

Your breath hitched and Jay chuckled, his finger tugging at the bud.

"Oh but a kitten, I want to hear you," he drawled slowly, coming up so he was speaking teasingly against your lips. "I want you to have lost your voice by the time I'm done with you. For you to even be heard through the hotel walls," he pushed on.

You gulped at how sultry his voice sounded, your body burning as his calloused hand came in between your thighs. You scrunched your face up and let out a moan at the contact, wondering if he could feel the slick that covered your underwear.

"Thatta girl, show sir how good you're feeling," he praised gently, kissing your jawline.

"Can you...," you stopped yourself at your own nerves.

Jongseong stopped and perked up, his carob eyes making you feel extra shy. "No no what is it, tell me kitten."

You swallowed thickly. "I've never really, well never actually had a guy eat me out andIwantedtoknowhowitfeltlike," you managed out, unable to make eye contact with him. You didn't need to because he was already inching down your body and tugging down your underwear before you could even say anything.

His grip was strong on your calves as he firmly held your legs open, Jonseong's breath getting heavier as he saw your arousal-coated core.

"You wrote in your profile that you don't like it when it's shaved so I didn't," you muttered gently, feeling embarrassed from how intently he was staring.

"Shit kitten~ your pussy's so goddamn pretty, I mean you're dripping onto the sheets already," Jongseong groaned, the tone of his voice causing you to clench around nothing.

You didn't even realize a guy could get so turned on by you, let alone from a region that you found rather embarrassing.

"D-don't just stare at it," you whined, your chest rising as he dragged a digit down the center, gathering up syrupy beads of arousal.

"Of course not kitten...," he trailed off, flattening his tongue against your core and you let out a moan. You didn't realize how textured someone's tongue could be and how warm and wet it was until was circling around your swollen clit, your head lolling off to the side as you gripped his hair.

Jongseong could hardly contain his excitement as sweet honey coated his tongue, spelling out his name with his tongue against your folds.

"You seem to like the letter "o" of my name don't you kitten," he cooed as he slid a single digit in. He raised his brows at the amount of resistance that was met and your reaction, your hands gripping the pillow tighter.

"Do you not finger yourself at all sweetheart?" he inquired as he left open-mouthed kisses on your aching core, curling it in an area that you'd never reached. You shook your head and felt your stomach contract at the feeling, feeling your head get lighter at the sensation.

"It never felt good when I did it and then when a guy did it it just hurt a lot," you whimpered out, your voice breaking at the end as he slid a second digit in.

You never knew that having your core stretched out could feel so good, the squelching noises coming from you making your face burn in bashfulness.

Jongseong on the other hand was reveling in it all, doing his best to not push you to your very limits: he wanted to make you cry and blubber out his name, paint your walls white with his cum, and other sinful things.

Your whimper of "jongseong" snapped him out of his thoughts, the innocent and expectant eyes you gave him almost making him cum right then and there.

"S-sorry I didn't mean to call your name when you said sir but you were lost in thought," you answered, flinching slightly when Jongseong came up face to face with you, shoving his fingers in knuckle deep.

"Shit, I knew there was a reason you shouldn't have said my name," he panted out, pressing on the spongy spot on your walls at every chance he could.

"Why is t-that," you yelped out, legs closing around his hand as you felt a tight knot form in your lower belly. You also felt something else building up as he alternated between pressing down on your clit and scissoring your core, your hands meekly attempting to push his wrist away.

"Because if you say my name I won't be able to hold back," he groaned, his breath hitching as you moaned his name out again.

"I think something weird is going to come out, waitwaitwait," you croaked, your nails leaving claw marks down his tan skin.

"Shhh it's okay kitten just let it out, I got you I got you," he pushed softly in your ear.

Your legs tried to clamp around his hand to stop his movements but his reactions were quicker, situating himself so you could only close your legs around his waist.

"Don't be scared sweetheart, make me proud yeah? It'll feel really good, promise," he cooed at you as he put more force behind his movements, wanting you to unravel from the seams.

Your eyes fluttered for a second as the knot snapped. You were still pushing his hand away as liquid gushed from between your legs, tears forming in your eyes as you felt a pleasure so intense it felt like your body would give out right then and there.

"I-I got your robe wet," you said through panted breaths, trying to say anything to divert the attention away from the liquid that soaked your form and partially his.

Jongseong smiled to himself at the attempt, undoing with with ease and tossing it somewhere in the room. You couldn't help but stare at the erection that was practically forcing its way of his briefs, Jongseong lowering the waistband so you could see him fully.

There was a trail of hair that led from his lower abdomen to his erection, your eyes glued to the area like you were in a trance.

"You can touch it kitten, it doesn't bite," Jongseong purred, gently sitting you up so you could reach him with ease. You wrapped your hand around his length and were surprised at the warmth and weight you felt against your hand.

You gave it a gentle squeeze to see how he'd react and were surprised to hear him hissing through his teeth, his abdomen clenching at your timid movements.

"Why don't you get it nice and wet so it can go in easy yeah?" Jongseong cooed, his dick already twitching at the thought of pushing past your gummy walls.

You gathered up courage and wrapped your mouth around him, hollowing out your cheeks and relaxing your jaw to the best of your abilities. Maybe it was because his intoxicating smell but you were salivating to the point of having droplets trickle down your chin as you got greedy to take more of him.

"Easy there kitten, don't force all in at once," he cooed through a hissed breath, head swimming at how hot your mouth was. You nodded and pulled off of him to circle your tongue around his tip like a popsicle, a sheen glossing his member as you coated it with your saliva.

"That's a good girl~ making me so proud. See how deep you can take me hm?" You nodded and took a deep breath before slowly relaxing your throat around him, the intense groans and pants leaving him giving you more courage.

You weren't able to get down to the base but you were pretty damn close, Jongseong pulling you off of him before he came down your throat.

The cool demeanor Jongseong had started with was gone: his cheeks were rose and there was a sheen of sweat across his body, a ragged "get on your stomach" leaving him as he stroked his member with your saliva.

You did as you were told and gripped the pillows anxiously, Jongseong chuckling and bending over you.

"Don't worry princess, we're gonna make it fit," he taunted against your ear, raising you up by your hips. He grabbed a condom and ripped it with his teeth before pulling down on himself, stroking his base languidly.

You felt the air get knocked out of you as he forced his mushroom head past your walls, your legs kicking from underneath him as you felt the push.

"Jongseong it's not gonna fit, it's not," you pleaded with him, fat tears rolling down your sweaty cheeks. It was a mistake to show him your crying face because it only egged him on more, a saccharine-sweet smile coming onto his lips.

"A good pussy takes any cock that it's given, kitten. Don't you wanna be my good girl?" he emphasized, forcing in another couple of inches. You nodded through your tears, shaking when Jongseong grabbed your hand and pressed it against your lower belly.

"Look kitten, you can feel where I'm going inside you. Do you think I'll be able to touch your cervix?" he almost taunted you, a muffled moan leaving you as he bottomed out.

"I-I don't know" you whelped out, feeling your inner thighs get sticky as cock his pushed out more droplets of syrupy essence.

Every breath you took caused your stomach to press against his member, Jongseong enveloping his large hands in yours on either side as he started moving. You couldn't even moan as you felt your head get lighter, only able to process how his member was stretching you so much.

Jongseong swore as you clamped down on him like a vice, pulling back some so he could see you leak around his cock. "Oh sweetheart, wouldn't you look stunning like this in Polaroids," he mused, his cock twitching inside of you at the thought of having black and white photos of your cum leaking out of your core and bite marks littering your soft skin.

He chuckled when your walls fluttered around him for a moment at the thought, burying your head in the pillow in shame.

"Oh? Seems princess would be into it?"

You hesitantly nodded.

Jongseong pulled your chin from your pillow and turned you around so you could see his darkening eyes, that same saccharine smile coming onto his lips.

"Next time yeah?"

"Next time....?" you repeated, gripping the headboard when Jongseong snapped his hips into you, trying to ease yourself away from the full feeling.

Jongseong only chuckled at your pathetic attempt to flee from his length, pushing your hips back against his as punishment for even attempting to get away.

He smiled, watching as your other hole twitched before letting a trickle of saliva from his mouth seep into the area. "Of course kitten next time. What, did you think you were gonna leave me?" He cooed, rubbing the area before sliding his middle finger in. Your legs spasmed underneath his at the intrusion, burying your mouth into the pillow as you groaned heavily.

"No, but don't you have other clients?" you inquired as he curled his finger and moved his member at the same time, your hands reaching back to meekly push his waist away.

He pouted and kissed your ear gently before using his weight to pin your body down, his hips starting to pick up faster.

"Not anymore."

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Jongseong walked outside the hotel room, giving the guy who waited outside the wad of cash as promised.

"Can't believe you looked everywhere just for one girl," He said in amusement, flicking his head to the room where you slept. "Think she'll find out you don't work here?"

Jongseong smiled and leaned against the wall. "Doubtful. And we're gonna keep it that way," he warned, putting on a soft smile as he walked back into the hotel room. He leaned over your restful form and kissed your cheek, his hands rubbing over the beautiful marks he'd left.

You rustled in your sleep but still lay there, Jongseong playing with the hem of the t-shirt he let you wear.

"You're all mine now kitten, all mine."

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feedback leads to me writing more for certain members so remember that and leave a comment, reblog, or anon!

there shan't be a part two <3 tho.

#enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #enhypen fanfic #enhypen scenarios #enhypen hard thoughts #jay smut #enhypen jay smut #jay scenarios #park jongseong smut #jongseong scenarios #jongseong smut

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