#who said it was a good idea to make kids do maths investigation papers which evil mastermind

[hyunrun]

finishing my bio ia tonight i feel so powerful !!! doing research papers in hs is actually the bane of my life why does ib make us do this

on the plus side i got to make some use of my obsession w curly hair care T-T 12 yr old me would be proud !!!

#i did my ia abt tensile strength of hair with bleach and diff cosmetic oils !!! my teacher loved it and so did i #only ia im doing rn taht i like T-T IAS ARE AWFULLL it hurts me physically to sit and write my maths ia #who said it was a good idea to make kids do maths investigation papers which evil mastermind #kal rambles #ib students pls flock to me i need to complete now that I'm almost done dp 2

[write-orflight]

Galileo: Chapter 8

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: SpencerXReader, enemies to friends to lovers trope

Rating: M

Words: 2.1K

Warnings:  None, just painfully fluff.

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary:  Y/N  is an astronomer with her head constantly in the stars. But when a   serial killer is threatening NASA’s top scientists, she is left in the   protective custody of a man who’s gravitational pull threatens to pull   her back down to earth. 

A.N: Unedited. Well guys we’re here. I kinda really like how I ended this chapter so IF I do write an Epilogue it’ll be very very small. So for that reason I’m closing the taglist for Galileo. Thank you all for coming on this journey with me. Check out my other fics if you haven’t. And shoot me an inbox saying what you think! much love, Cia.

                                Chapter 8: Pluto 

Life with Spencer wasn’t easier but it sure was better. 

It had been about 9 months now since the two of you started dating and you knew it would be rough. The two of you traveled a lot for work so it was a lot of missed calls, texts, and video chats in the beginning but now you’d say the two of you got a grip on what you both wanted which was each other. Around month 6, Spencer asks you to move in with him. At first you say no, and you keep saying no until around month 8 when Spencer gets shot on the job and you take care of him and just never leave. Not that he was complaining, it was what he’s wanted since Month 2. 

You met the team officially and without impending danger around month 2 as well. Emily and Derek who you already knew through the investigation welcomed you back with open arms and tequila shots at the bar you met them at. JJ took a while to warm up to you which you completely understood from how you left but she warmed up to you when she realized just how much you loved Spencer and how much you regretted pushing him away. 

You and Penelope Garcia got along like a house on fire which everyone expected the two genius women to. Though her sunny, social disposition and your quiet, mellow one didn’t mix on paper pretty soon you guys were trading baked goods and having sleepovers. It was nice, you never had girl friends you could be yourself around but you found that in them. 

Spencer was still Spencer. 

In some ways, he was still the man you met in the observatory of your job, and in some ways he was very different. He was definitely a lot more touchy than you thought he’d be, seemingly unable to be in the same room as you without touching you in some way. Not that that was unwelcome, you loved him all the same. He was still that nerdy guy who whenever he read something or found out something new about your field he’d call you up and immediately to tell you about it. And you would sit and listen intently, never having the heart to tell him it was something you already knew. You liked to hear him talk anyway. 

You still found out a couple of things too. One being that Spencer gets extremely jealous and you found this out around Month 7 of your relationship, your first official fight. He had come to surprise you at work and you were helping the new Doctor hired on the Terra-Mora project get acclimated with the space. You didn’t think anything of the guy other than he was overly friendly but when Spencer came in and saw the fairly attractive man lingering a hand on your back he became livid. 

The car ride home was awkward because you could tell something was up with Spencer though he wasn’t saying anything. “What’s wrong?” You asked. 

“Nothing, bunny.” He says, you can’t help the smile that crosses  your face at the nickname but you knew there was something wrong. 

“Okay so there has to be something up. So out with it.” 

He’s silent for a moment. “How’s working with Dr. Sutton?” 

“Landon?” You ask. He gives you a look when you refer to the man by first name but you choose to ignore it.  “It’s fine. He’s better at math and he’s been nice.” 

“Bet he has.” Spencer mutters under his breath. 

“Ok, what is that?” You ask. 

“Why did you just call him Landon just now?” 

“His name is Landon….?” 

“Every person you work with you refer to as Doctor, you even refer to yourself as Dr. L/N when talking about work.” He points out. “In fact, the only other person you didn’t do that for was Jonathan, who you had feelings for. So why is he ‘Landon’?” 

“He asked me to call him Landon.” You shrug. “You almost sound jealous, Spence.” You can’t help the small chuckle that leaves you when you say it because it was ridiculous to even think about. You loved Spencer. You couldn’t imagine your life without him or even fathom wanting anyone but him but when you saw the look he gave you back when you said it you knew that was exactly the case. 

“You wanna tell me what this is actually about now?” You question. 

“Why didn’t you say I was your boyfriend?” He whispers. 

“What?” You say, confused. You park the car in front of your apartment and turn fully towards Spencer.   

“You didn’t say I was your boyfriend, you called him Landon…” 

“Baby, I didn’t even realize I didn’t do that.” You say, looking into his eyes. “If I did it’s because everyone knows who you are.” You say, cupping the side of his face with one of your hands, he instantly leans into the touch. “My genius boyfriend, who works for the FBI and saved my life. I talk about you constantly because I am happy and proud to be yours. That you still took a chance on me even though I pushed you away and treated you like shit in the beginning. I am never trying to hide you and you have no reason to be jealous because I don’t see anyone else when I’m with you, ok?” You say, Spencer smiles and leans over the center console to kiss you and just like every time Spencer kisses you, you contemplate the likelihood that the earth could stop its rotation because it seemed that the world stood still every time you were together like this.When you pulled away, you leaned your forehead against Spencers for a second, catching your breath. 

“Plus you really have no reason to be jealous.” You add. “Me and Landon spent most of the morning talking about our boyfriends.” 

Spencer looks at you with a wide eyed expression. “You mean, he’s--” 

“Yup.” You cut off. Getting out of the car, Spencer follows you. “You should get jealous more though. It’s kinda hot.” You shrug. Spencer rolls his eyes at you. 

-----------------------------------------------------

     On your one year anniversary, you go to your first date spot which was the Planetarium. You rolled your eyes at the time when Spencer suggested the date saying that you’d both just end up annoying the tour guide. In the end, you ended up with a 16  year old named Anna, who had the same twinkle in her eye when she talked about Space that you had as a child. You ended up shushing Spencer every now and again so you could listen to the young girl tell you about the planets you both knew so much about. At the end of the tour, you told her who you were and that if she wanted an internship at NASA after high school to give you a call. She smiled excitedly at you and hugged you, which you returned before apologizing profusely for hugging you. When you and Spencer were walking to get food after that he asked the question. 

“Do you want kids?” He says. 

“Whoa!” You laugh. “Big ask for a first date.” 

“I’m sorry, you were just so cute with the tour guide that--It’ll come up eventually is all.” 

“I do want kids someday.” You say, smiling at the man. “I never thought it was in the cards for me but I would love kids someday. What about you?” 

“I never thought it was in the cards for me either but I like the idea of having a family.” He says, reaching for your hand. You smile at him again and the topic never comes back up. 

You guys head to the Planetarium again and Anna is still working there, finishing up her senior year. She lets you guys venture around without a guide this time and you and Spencer just sit in the auditorium alone, talking softly at the fake constellations that pass by. 

After, you ask if you guys can skip dinner to go to the observatory just to see if you can get a peak at Gaia tonight as the sky seemed pretty clear. Spencer smiles and obliges you as the two of you head over to your job. The night security guard just nods at the two of you as you walk in, having come accustomed to your late nights and Spencer accompanying you. 

Spencer sits a ways while you set everything up, booting up your computer and positioning your telescope. The two of you settle into a comfortable silence as you often did around each other. You felt slightly bad, it was your anniversary and Spencer was indulging you just like always. He was really way too good for you. You look up at him and smile, which he instantly returns before you turn your attention to the telescope. 

That’s when you see it. 

Gaia. 

Fully visible from earth for the first time in what could have been a millennium. 

You scream out of happiness and Spencer looks up at you raising a brow as you run for your tape recorder.  Gesturing for him to come look. He looks into the telescope as you type into your computer for a second, making sure your telescope was taking the pictures you needed, before speaking into your recorder. 

“This is Dr. Y/N L/N. I am accompanied by Dr. Spencer Reid. The date is April 12th 2014. For the first time ever Planet KXSY-1029 or Alias Gaia is Fully visible from earth!” You turn off the recorder and jump into your boyfriend’s arms. He instantly catches you and spins you around before kissing you fully on your lips. You moan into his mouth slightly as his tongue meets yours but eventually he pulls away but he is still lifting you fully. 

“Do you realize how big tonight is? This is probably the only time anyone in centuries will be able to see her until we actually start human trials and it’s the only time it’ll probably ever be visible from earth and WE were here for it! This is amazing! This night cannot get bette--” 

“Marry me.” Spencer says, looking into your eyes. 

Your eyes widen, as Spencer sets you down on the ground. “What?” You ask. 

“I was going to ask at dinner.” He says pulling a ring out of his jacket pocket and getting down on one knee. You feel tears welling in your eyes. 

“I ruined your whole plan.” You say. 

“No! No, you didn’t. Because seeing you react to seeing Gaia just now reminded me exactly why I wanted to marry you.” Spencer says, grabbing your hands. “Did you know the greek goddess Gaia in creating the earth, gave humans four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. And Zeus, fearing their power, split them in half and that’s where the soulmates come from?” He asks, you shake your head and more tears fall as he rubs small circles with his thumb on the back of your hand. “Y/N, you are the single most caring, passionate, amazing person I know. And if I could go back and change anything about how we met and when we met, I wouldn’t. If I could take away your hurt and tragedy, I would but I feel like everything I’ve ever done, everything that’s ever happened to me, was designed to lead me to you. Meeting you, loving you was the first time in my life I felt truly like myself, like I was half a person until meeting you made me whole again.” He tears up as he looks you in the eyes. “So, Y/N… Will you marry me? Please.” He adds softly. 

You nod fast, tears falling more than they were before as you give him a wet smile. “Yes, Spencer! Of course!” You laugh as Spencer smiles up at you as he slides the ring onto your finger. He gets up and kisses you passionately, hands cradling your face. When you pull apart, he hugs you tightly. You breathe in his scent and look behind him at the images of Gaia on your screens. You thought back to the story Spencer had just told you about soulmates and how before you met Spencer you were just going through the motions of life, feeling incomplete and never knowing what was missing. You seemed to have everything you wanted. Your dream job and life. It wasn’t until being with Spencer you realized what was missing. That he was missing.   

In the end, you were just two halves. 

Made whole by Gaia.  

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#spencer x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #spencer x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds smut #bau x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid smut #spencer reid

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Sixty

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

March 20th, 2002

Emile redid the math, looking over the numbers over and over again. It was possible. He’d have to be smart about investing money to get the extra funds he needed, and he’d have to skimp and save every last penny he could, but by the end of the year, he’d be able to buy a shop. If Remy agreed, they could make it so he could start his own shop. Emile would buy the property, but the rest could be all Remy’s.

There was the matter of getting this done without Remy being the wiser, however. If Remy caught on to what Emile was doing he’d insist that Emile save the money for something else. But if he got Remy to save his money, and Emile saved his own, they could do this. They could get Remy an epic origin story that rivalled the greats in the comics.

  April 11th, 2002

Emile checked the time he had left on the computer at the library. It wasn’t a whole lot, but it should be enough. He had been looking into this off and on for months, saving away most of his extra funds that didn’t go to dates purely to fund this crazy adventure. He googled private investigators in the area, looking around to make sure Remy wasn’t nearby. He opened his email account and looked through the listings, finding the one he had looked up before and found good reviews from. He copied the investigator’s email address into the computer and composed a quick email, asking about discreteness and the rate that the guy charged.

He knew it might take a couple days for the guy to get back to him, so he logged off the computer and blew out a breath. He doubted the man would say no, and he had a good record of finding people who had supposedly dropped off the face of the Earth. But Emile still worried. After all, PI’s could get very expensive very quickly, and Emile didn’t have access to his trust fund until the third of May.

Determination still drove him to send the email, though. Emile knew that this could work. It might take a while, but it could be done. If anyone could find Toby, it was this Dice character. He had a good eye, and he knew how to use it to find a trail. The reviews Emile had found said as much, at any rate.

He walked out of the computer room with a sigh. He could come back tomorrow and see if Dice had replied, but Emile wished he didn’t have to wait in limbo.

Remy bounded over to him with excitement in his eyes, and Emile smiled. Remy was growing bouncier as time went on. The holidays were mere memories by this point, there were no huge, groundbreaking milestones to stress either of them out, it was just...quiet. They were free to be weird, to be excited, to be however they wanted. And Remy seemed to get bouncy whenever he found something he particularly liked, which tended to be a new recipe book, or an idea for coffee that Remy had never considered before. Sure, he would still get excited over comics, but there weren’t too many comics at the library, so Emile suspected it was one of the former things that had Remy hyped up. “What did you find this time, Rem?” Emile asked with a good-natured laugh.

“I found a book on the history of the uses of caffeine in the science section!” Remy exclaimed, dragging Emile to his table. “It’s super cool!”

“Since when do you browse the science section?” Emile asked.

“Since I was bored looking at mystery novels, wandered around, and ended up there. My eyes found this, and I’ve been taking a look through it, and it’s amazing! Did you know that caffeine is actually supposed to be a poison? That’s why you can’t feed it to animals! Humans are just weird enough that we can consume it and not get hurt!” Remy’s eyes lit up like fireworks on the fourth of July. “Like, science and history? Usually not my thing, if I go into nonfiction usually it means I’m looking for recipes, but this is so cool! Coffee beans have been used for centuries, if not millenia! How crazy is that?! Coffee comes all the way from Ethiopia, and now it’s used all over the world! It’s...I just...it’s so cool, Emile!”

“I know that,” Emile said, grinning. “Purely by your enthusiasm. I’ve never seen you this excited, not even over comics!”

“I never got to learn interesting things in school,” Remy said. “Even in college, I knew everything they were teaching me, but I never knew about this stuff before!”

Emile just nodded along patiently. “You know, if I had known you’d get this excited about learning things you wanted to learn about, I would have insisted we make regular trips to the library forever ago. Do you want to make them weekly, now?”

Remy’s eyes were wide. “Oh, could we? I doubt this is the only book about this sort of thing here, I bet I could find all sorts of cool stuff in the history section, and learn how they used to use coffee and the like in Ye Olden Times, maybe improve or work on some of those ideas until I can make them function, do you have any idea how cool that would be?!”

“It would be amazing,” Emile said with a laugh. “You know, though, you might have to save more of your money if you want to experiment with that sort of thing. We might not go out on so many dates.”

“I don’t care,” Remy breathed. “If I saved money, I could discover dozens of new recipes with good ingredients! I could almost open my own shop if I figured out those sorts of things!”

“That would be amazing,” Emile said with a grin. “Just remember, you don’t want to save up just enough to experiment and then not have any extra funds to repeat what you did and get that good sort of food again!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Remy agreed. “I’ll probably be saving up for several months, just to be sure.”

“Yeah, like...hold off until around...say, six months from now? Then experiment to your heart’s content. And don’t forget to keep track of what works and what doesn’t!” Emile said.

“I know, Emile, it’s my system,” Remy said, grinning.

“I know you know, but a reminder never hurts,” Emile said with a shrug. “Anyway, I’ve done what I came to do, papers are finished, research is done, and I even got to send out a couple emails to friends. You ready to go?”

“Yeah, sure,” Remy said, closing the book and leaving it on the table.

They walked out into the parking lot and Emile laughed as it started to rain. “April showers,” he said.

“We live in the city, Emile, how many May flowers can there possibly be?” Remy asked.

Emile shrugged. “The first half of the rhyme applies, at least,” he said. “Still want to head to the shelter today?”

“Can we at least drive and park nearby? I don’t want to get absolutely drenched in the walk from home there, and then dry off only to get drenched again on the walk back,” Remy said.

Emile rolled his eyes up in thought and his fingers twitched. “I’m not sure what parking lots are near the shelter, do you know?”

“Yeah, I know a couple,” Remy said.

“Cool,” Emile said, tossing Remy the car keys and getting in.

Remy fell into the driver’s seat and he stuck the keys in the ignition, but he didn’t move beyond that. Emile glanced over. “You good, Rem?”

“Yeah,” Remy said, starting to life and starting the car. “Just thinking.”

“About anything in particular?” Emile asked.

Remy turned slightly red. “Toby,” he admitted. “I’m just wondering what he would think about me doing these sort of things with you. If he’d approve.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Emile asked.

Remy sighed. “For all his protection and love, he still sometimes doesn’t understand certain things. Like, he gave me ‘The Talk’ when I told him I was gay. But he’d still make jokes in poor taste about gay or trans people. He understands that homeless people aren’t all homeless just because they’re lazy and can’t find a job, but he’s not proactive when it comes to helping them. He’s...not our parents, but he has some bad habits. Don’t get me wrong, I still love him! And he’s definitely gotten better the few times I would take him aside and explain why he shouldn’t say certain things. Fact remains that he’s got some views that aren’t...up to date.”

Emile didn’t know how to respond to that. Did that mean that Toby was actually like Remy’s parents? Did he hurt Remy, but Remy was so wrapped up in the fact that Toby kept him physically safe that he disregarded any emotional damage? “Do you think he’s capable of change? Realistically speaking.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” Remy agreed. “I’ve seen him change myself. From constantly making gay jokes when he was a kid to showing me compassion when I came out, all because one or two of his friends wound up being gay. He’s capable of change, for sure. He just...doesn’t always think about whether or not he should change if something doesn’t immediately affect him or the people he cares about. He’s not like my parents, Emile.”

“I never said he was,” Emile said.

Remy glanced at him. “I know you were thinking about it, though. It’s not a big deal, you’re concerned for me and you didn’t directly call Toby a bad person. You checked to make sure he wasn’t like my parents before making a decision. I appreciate that.”

Emile nodded. “Of course. I try not to make snap judgements about people, but I did realize I made more snap judgements than I thought, especially when we talked about your parents. Now, I try and make it a point to gather information to make an informed decision, rather than just listening to one side of the story and making plans and expressing feelings based only on that.”

“Huh,” Remy said. “You’re capable of change, too. Nice to know.”

“Did you think I wasn’t?” Emile asked, confused.

“Not particularly,” Remy said, “But it’s always nice to have confirmation.”

Emile nodded, and when Remy parked in a lot that was just a block from the shelter, Emile arched his eyebrows. “I didn’t realize this lot was that close,” he said.

“This may be a city, Emile, but it’s a small one. I know my way around it pretty well,” Remy said, getting out of the car.

Emile grabbed Remy’s hand as they walked to the shelter. “One of the many things I love about you,” Emile said. “You’re incredibly smart.”

“I’m not,” Remy said, turning red. “I know how to use a checkbook, but that’s about it.”

“You’re smart with numbers, and with food, and you enjoy learning, just not conventionally,” Emile said. “You’re sharp, Rem, don’t sell yourself short.”

“Look, Emile, I can’t make a career out of any of those things. And before you mention there are lots of jobs where you need to be good with numbers, I’m not becoming an accountant.”

Emile laughed. “I wasn’t going to suggest that,” he said. “You’d die of boredom doing someone else’s financials within weeks. And I like you alive, thank you very much.”

Remy shook his head with a grin. “I don’t know what you see in me, Emile.”

“A brilliant man with a heart of gold who just has a little problem with expressing himself,” Emile said. “Someone who cares for people once he gets to know them, but is also pragmatic in how, exactly, he goes about helping those in need of advice. You make sure that you’re taken care of before you help others, and you keep my bleeding heart in check. You’re my partner in crime, my partner in general, and I couldn’t be happier about that fact.”

Remy was as red as a tomato and he groaned. “Emile,” he complained. “I can’t be blushing when we get to the shelter, it’ll ruin my cool image!”

Emile laughed. “Rem, since when have you ever had a cool image there? You may be the top chef, but all the kids know you’re smitten for me, the adults know that you can help with financials and will at the drop of a hat if they merely ask. They know you’re nice.”

“Nice and cool are not mutually exclusive,” Remy retorted. “The kids have called me cool before, but if I show up with a huge blush over my face, they might see through the ruse!”

“And what would they see if they saw through it?” Emile asked.

“A gay disaster,” Remy deadpanned.

Emile burst out laughing. Remy always knew exactly what to say.

#if there's a place i could be #sanders sides fanfiction #remile #emile picani #ts sleep

[rora-s]

The Derivative  Chapter 13: I Know

Chapter 1 <- Chapter 12 

“Well I didn’t exactly have a lot of options” I argued, hopping out of the car. 

“Maybe not but that sounds like an odd one for a snack” Alan stated getting out and grabbing the grocery bag in the back seat. 

“Ugh you sound like my mother” I grumbled as we headed toward the house. 

“Greetings friends” we turned at the call to see Larry walking up the drive. 

“Oh Larry what brings you here?” Alan greeted. 

“Well I was looking for Charles with the intention of spurring him into action on some of the math he promised me” the man explained. 

“Hey Larry you haven’t heard anything about my acceptance at CalSci yet have you?” I asked as we headed to the front door. 

“I’m afraid not but rest assured me and your uncle are keeping our ears to the metaphorical ground for any word from the admission board” Larry replied. 

I let off groan “I hate waiting” 

“Don’t worry, I'm sure they’ll accept you. You’re a great student” Alan assured me. 

“Well who knows I mean the school does get similar applications from young gifted applicants each year so” the physicist ended his statement with a shrug. 

I let out a breath still very anxious about the whole thing “thank you for that Larry” Gramps muttered with an annoyed edge as he opened the front door. “Hey Charlie” 

We headed into the house to see Charlie sitting at the table looking over some papers with a woman. “Hey, this is officer Morris of the California Highway patrol” the professor introduced the woman who smiled. Then he gestured to us “this is my father, my niece, and Dr. Fleinhardt” 

“Oh, please don’t tell me you got another speeding ticket?” Alan joked. 

“Actually your son’s helping me with an accident investigation” Officer Morris explained rising from her seat to shake my grandfather’s hand and then Larry’s, then mine “we’re trying to figure out what caused it.” 

“I didn’t know you were consulting for the CHP. Are you?” Alan inquired. 

“Don’s case” Charlie clarified. 

“Oh so this is why he ditched me here instead of taking me to the movies on his day off like he promised” I spoke with a slight edging looking at the documents laid out on the table. 

“Yeah? What sort of accident involved the FBI?” Larry questioned. 

“Prison bus crash” Morris informed. 

“The one I saw on the news.” Gramps inferred. “The bus with the escaped convicts? Don is working on that, huh?” Alan muttered the last bit as he sat down the grocery bag. 

“Yeah. Why?” Charlie questioned most likely sensing the same change in Alan’s demeanor as I had. 

“Oh nothing” Alan brushed the matter off as Larry took a seat at the table “it’s just that your brother was working on fugitive recovery once for a while, uh, anyway” he shook his head. 

“Appears to be basic Newtonian mechanics” Larry observed “the stuff of first-year engineering students. Now why are these elementary equations so captured your imagination?” 

“Well, the confluence of so many unrelated factors coming together at a given point in time” Charlie explained “it’s actually quite a fascinating approach to Bayesian inference as applied to the analysis of time series data.” 

“Yeah well as far as I know anytime an accident happens it’s because somebody made a mistake” Alan declared. “Am I right?” 

“Actually most car crashes happen because of one overestimating their own ability, to make a turn or get through a light. Willing choices that’s why the common public word accident is a misnomer and reports call them crashes.” I informed absently then paused as all the adults’ eyes shifted to me “I read it once” I shrugged. 

“This coming from the girl who doesn’t even have a license” Alan pointed out and I shot him a glare.  

“Either way that’s what we’re trying to figure out.” Morris spoke up “whether there was a mistake and what it was” 

“The answer’s not that simple” Charlie voiced as Alan pulled out his sandwich and went to open a beer I reached around him to grab my sandwich from the bag. “I mean, coincidences are a mathematical reality. Statistically unlikely events can and often do occur. Just look at the genesis of our planet.” 

“Well now, I agree that the factors that brought about life on earth were statistically unlikely” Larry mused “but given the vastness of the cosmos, the limitless possibilities for matter and energy. I’m with Einstein on this. There are no accidents.” 

____________

“I can understand the fascination of kinematic equations when working alongside an attractive female police officer” Larry voiced as we watched Charlie set up his little reenactment. “But, all the lawn equipment?” 

“What you said about the confluence of the cosmos triggered a thought” Charlie explained “Abby you’re sitting in the road” he muttered shoeing me away so he could set down a skateboard. I scooted over to the side of the path. 

“Ah, note to self: Never talk quantum theory again.” Larry voiced. 

“The initial velocity of the bus barely exceeds that of the flatbed.” Charlie elaborated “the gap between them closing slowly, approximately two feet per second.” he moved the wheel barrel up. 

“And then along comes the skateboard?” Larry questioned. 

“That’s right, the pick up truck” Uncle C confirmed “the pick up truck pulls along the right side of the bus” he demonstrated with the skateboard’s movement. “Its velocity is 13 miles per hour greater than that of the bus. Now at this point the gap between the bus and the flatbed truck is at least..” he paused reaching for the paper in the wheelbarrow. 

“84 feet” I supplied having seen the paper. 

“Okay, that’s ample enough room for the pickup to safely maneuver in front of the bus” Larry declared. 

“However” Charlie objected, continuing to manipulate the lawn equipment “the gap suddenly closed. The pickup veers in front of the bus forcing the bus to maneuver and hit the guardrail which causes it to torque and flip onto its side” I tilted my head as Charlie turned the wheelbarrow over. 

“How did that gap close so quickly between the bus and the flatbed?” Larry inquired. 

“Acceleration or deceleration” I voiced. 

“Precisely.” Charlie nodded “two possibilities. One, the bus greatly increased its velocity.” 

“No no no” Larry dissuaded that idea “given the mass of the bus, that’s extremely unlikely.” 

I craned my neck as I saw Don’s car pulling up to the house. “Or two, the flatbed truck reduced its speed at the critical moment, causing the pickup to veer in front of the bus.” 

“That’s it” Larry determined with the snap of his fingers “the flatbed slowed down”

“That’s right,” Charlie agreed. 

“And that doesn’t mean anything good” I muttered letting out a breath. 

“It would also mean” Larry mused. 

“A Markov chain” Charlie finished the thought. 

“Exactly” Larry muttered. 

“Gentlemen and lady” Don greeted us as he walked up “what’s all this?” he looked over the reenactment. 

“Just trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense” Charlie explained. 

“Thought that’s what you do best,” Don sighed. “What, uh, what’s the problem?” 

“Well, apparently, that seed spreader” Larry voiced. 

Don gave a confused look and Charlie quickly jumped in “t-the flatbed truck” 

“What- what about it?” Don inquired. 

“The crash wasn’t an accident” Charlie informed. “Don, it was staged.” 

“You’re sure?” Don pressed. 

“Mathematically certain” I declared Don shot me a look “it’s lawn equipment and simple math please don’t lecture me on not helping” 

Don sighed “fine later” he grumbled then turned to Charlie “think you can work up a model to show at the office?” 

“That’s an easy matter of imputing these findings into a computer simulation” Charlie explained. 

“Maybe the cute CHP lady officer can help you” I teased my uncle. 

“Cute CHP lady officer?” Don questioned turning to his brother who shot me an annoyed look. 

“It’s not like that,” Charlie objected. 

“Sure Charles, sure” Larry murmured and we all shared a laugh at the mathematician's expense. 

________________

3rd POV. 

“All these different events and factors from the initial velocity of the bus to its final torque” Charlie explained to Don and Agent Cooper “all of these create what’s called a Markov Chain.” 

“What kind of Chain?” Cooper questioned. 

“Markov. A sequence of random values where the probabilities at any given time depend on the values at a previous time.” Charlie attempted to elaborate “the controlling factor in a Markov chain is called the transitional probability. Now in this case the bus reaches a certain point in the road just as the truck blocks the lane, just as the pickup cuts off the bus.” the professor gestured to his diagram. 

“Which tells you it wasn't an accident?” Don asked with minor confusion. 

“Bayesian statistics and the Chapman-Kolmogorov equation tell me that.” Charlie clarified. 

“Are you sure you’re his brother?” Billy joked to Don. 

“Yeah, you think he’s freaky smart you should meet my kid” Don replied off handedly focusing on Charlie and missing the double take Cooper gave him. 

“If the flatbed truck had maintained its initial velocity, well then the pickup should have enough space to roam freely past the bus safely.” Charlie continued “but it didn’t.” he pressed a button going to the next image “the truck slowed down just as the right moment just as the pickup timed its move, forcing the bus to veer violently and overturn.” 

“So the pickup driver and the flatbed guy are in on it,” Don deduced. 

“Only the gardener’s missing” Cooper muttered. 

“Let’s go find that truck driver” Don declared getting up and Billy following after him. “Good job Charlie thanks” 

Don and Cooper exited the meeting room and headed through the bullpen. “So uh that comment about you having a kid that serious?” Billy asked as they paused by Don’s desk so he could grab his jacket. 

Don let off a breath, his brain somehow just realizing that his former partner would have no way of knowing about Abby appearing in Don’s life a little less than a year ago. “Uh yeah um kind of a long story but uh you remember that girl from college I mentioned Janice Calvin?” Don asked as they headed toward the elevator. 

“Yeah the one left you a note and went back home?” Cooper recalled. 

“Yeah, well, turns out she was pregnant. And what will be a year ago soon I got this knock on my door from a social worker telling me she died and left a kid behind. And my name’s on the birth certificate” Don explained. 

Cooper let off a breath “that’s crazy man.” 

“You’re telling me” Don muttered as they entered the elevator and pressed the button for the lobby. “Still it’s been good having her in my life you know? Her name’s Abby and she just tested out of highschool as a sophomore applied to college for next semester” 

“Really?” Cooper nodded then a slight smirk came to his features “so out of all these geniuses in your family how the heck did you end up like this?” 

“Ah” Don scoffed, giving his friend a shove as the doors opened and they headed out chuckling. 

__________

Abby POV. 

“Why am I here?” I muttered in annoyance. 

“Because I find this interesting,” Alan whispered back. 

“That explains why you’re here, not why I am” I grumbled turning the page of my book. 

“Well, if you’d quiet down you might just learn something” Alan suggested. I sighed and looked up at Uncle Charlie who was standing in front of a black baord that read “Math for Non-Mathematicians''

“Most people believe that they can trust their instincts” Uncle C explained “however, math suggests that our instincts aren’t always correct” he bent down and picked up a couple big white boards and big red X’s off the ground. “We’re gonna play a little game.” he declared, setting out the white cards on stands “I want you all to pretend that we’re on a game show, and I’m your cheesy game show host. And behind one of these cards is a brand new automobile.” he added a joking deepness to his voice at that last line that elicited some laughs from the audience of the class “and behind the other two are goats. Yeah, goats.” I rolled my eyes and turned back to my story.”I’m going to need a volunteer” I glanced up making sure my uncle wasn’t thinking of choosing me as a couple hands went up “come on, more of you than that. Come on.” he encouraged, receiving a couple laughs in response “Julie” he finally selected. “Why don’t you pick one of these cards? Remembering of course the object is to win the car, not the goat.” 

“I’ll take the one in the middle” Julie chose. 

“She takes the middle card” Charlie declared, sticking an X to the card. “And what are the chances that that card is the winning card?” 

“One in three” Julie answered. 

“Three choices, one car. Right?” Charlie clarified “one in three, it’s simple enough, right? Now, here’s where the game’s gonna take a turn. I’m going to reveal to you one of the cards that you did not choose” he reached to the card on the right and flipped it around to reveal a goat “So, we have two cards yet to be revealed. Now, knowing what you know, do you want to switch your choice? Or more importantly for the purposes of this class, does it matter? Will switching your choice improve your chances of winning?” 

“Yes switch it” I muttered under my breath going back to my book. Alan gave me a side look. 

“Well no. because now, two cards it’s 50/50, right?” Julie replied to the teacher. 

“How many people agree with her?” Charlie asked. 

“Don’t raise your hand” I mumbled sarcastically, turning the page of my book. Inevitable people did though most of the class in fact Alan looked around surprised. 

“That’s what your instinct tells you, but you’d be wrong.” Charlie explained. “Switching your cards at this point actually doubles your chances of winning the car.” 

“How?” Julie questioned. 

“Well, since we started out with two goats,” Charlie explained “it’s more likely that your first choice was a goat. What are the odds of choosing the goats?”

“Two out of three” Julie answered. 

“Right. So it’s more likely that this is a goat, less likely that it’s a car” the professor gestured to the center card “and it’s more likely that this card is a car” he pointed to the card on the left. “See switching your choice gives you a two-out-of-three chance of winning the car, rather than the one-out-of-three chance that we all began with.” he revealed the left card as the car to make his point. “Vroom vroom” he joked making the class chuckle. “You won a car, Julie. Congratulations.'' Then Uncle Charlie paused his eyes drifting to the back of the room before he checked his watch. “I think. Yeah, yeah, we’re out of time.” I looked back to see Don standing in the back of the room with another man who I could assume was another agent. “So uh, go home make some of these for yourselves. Put together some reasonable “n” samples, and uh.. Yeah see what happens. I’ll see you all next week. thanks.” 

The students began to disperse and Alan followed my line of sight to Don and the other agent. He got up and I followed him back to the two men. “Hey Dad, what are you two doing here?” 

“Oh I like coming whenever Charlie gives one of these math-for-dummies lectures. It’s the only time I actually understand what he’s talking about” Gramps explained “plus this one needed to get out of the house I couldn’t stand anymore anxious pacing about this acceptance letter” 

“Hey I wasn’t pacing” I objected adjusting my backpack on my shoulders “much” 

“This is Billy Cooper” Don introduced the man next to him. “He’s an agent I work with.” 

“Hi” Alan greeted him with a hand shake “we’ve met before, haven’t we?” 

“oh, yeah.” Don murmured “I couldn’t remember” 

“You worked a case with Don out here once?” Alan guessed. 

“Back in the day, yes, sir” Agent Cooper confirmed and glanced between me and my Grandfather. 

“Donnie, can I talk to you for a minute?” Alan requested. 

“Yeah, sure.” Don agreed and looked to Billy “just give me a second” him and Alan shuffled out of the room. 

Agent Cooper turned to me “you must be Abby then” he inquired and I nodded “uh so your uh old man mentioned that you were some kind of genius like your Uncle” he gestured vaguely to where Charlie was packing up his stuff from class. 

“Um yeah I have a decent IQ and an Advanced Eidetic Memory” I explained shifting on my feet. 

“What’s that mean?” the agent asked. 

“I have near perfect visual memory recall especially when I read” I explained gesturing to the book in my hand. 

“Cool” Cooper nodded and glanced out the doorway to where Don and Alan were still talking. 

“So you work with my dad?” I inquired blinking as the last word came out of my mouth easier than I thought. 

“Yup” Cooper smiled “me and Don actually used to be partners back in the day when he worked fugitive recovery. Made a great team” 

I smiled slightly “that’s cool” 

“Hey agent Cooper” Charlie cut in as he came over to greet the agent. 

________ 3rd POV. 

Don walked with his father out of the room and into the courtyard outside. “Um- wh-what are you doing? What’s going on?” Alan asked, turning to Don once they were out of earshot. 

“What are you talking about?” Don asked, confused. 

“Well, I- I haven’t seen you for days. Not since you dropped Abby off.” Alan pointed out. 

“I’m working,” Don explained. 

“Yeah, I know, Charlie told me.” Alan informed “Are you going back to manhunting now?” 

“Oh, I see. Dad, come on” Don sighed in annoyance. “Don’t. This is one case.” 

“I seem to recall your saying that about only one case once before,” Alan pointed out, “but, if you remember, they were not good days for you, or for me. I mean, we didn’t hear from you for weeks. We didn’t even know where the hell you were.” 

“Dad-” Don tried to interject but failed. 

“You do realize that uh, chasing after someone you could be running away from yourself at the same time” Alan stated. “And now you’re a father Donnie, you have a daughter in there that relies on you and you have a responsibility to her. Have you even talked to her the last couple days?” 

“Yes dad, of course I have'' Don finally interjected agitated. Then he sighed “contrary to what you might think I don’t plan to abandon her” 

Before Alan could respond to that statement or before Don could process the emotions it set forth Charlie was joining them with Abby and Billy right behind him. Don looked at Abby for a moment as Charlie greeted them and asked Alan about his lecture. 

Sometimes it was easy for him to forget she was a kid with how her brain worked and how stubbornly independent she could be. However, with her duct taped and sharpied shoes and ratty backpack she wouldn’t let him buy her replacements for, fading freckles and various superhero and tv show related t-shirts. She really was every bit the teenager her age dictated. A teenager who Don knew needed her father. 

____________

“Hey” Don called walking up as Coop was loading up his car “So you’re out of here?” 

“Heading to Phoenix.” Billy sighed “meth tweaker I been chasing.” 

“No chance we could get you to stick around?” Don asked helping him with the bags “maybe put in for a position around here?” 

“What, and settle down?” Billy chuckled. 

“Hey, it’s not bad Coop, I gotta tell you.” Don advised leaning on the car. 

“You don’t miss it?” Cooper inquired. 

“No. Not really, no” Don shook his head. 

“The rush you get when you’re hauling his ass in,” Coop tempted “your fugitive’s a couple hours ahead of you and you’re closing ground.” 

“Alright, maybe a little,” Don conceded. “Hey, but not being in touch with my family, not being able to talk to anybody, I don’t miss that.” he took a deep breath “I don’t know, I think LA’s good for me.” 

“Well” Coop sighed closing his trunk “plus you’re a dad now” 

Don chuckled “yeah there’s that too” 

“Listen that kid’s lucky to have you.” Billy told him “and if she’s anything like her old man she got a good future ahead of her” 

“Thanks man” Don sighed as the two shook hands walking back toward the drivers side of the car “keep your head down, huh?” 

“I’ll do that,” Billy nodded, getting in his car to leave. 

___________

“You do realize watching out the window isn’t going to make him get here any sooner right?” Alan voiced. 

Abby sighed and slid down to sit on the couch. “What’s taking so long,” she whined. 

“Relax kid,” Don advised, taking a sip of his beer. “He’ll get here soon” 

“Easy for you to say” Abby grumbled. Just then the door of the house opened and the trio sitting in the living room turned as Charlie walked in. 

Abby bounced to her feet. “Do you have it? Do you have it?” she asked eagerly. 

“Hello to you too” Charlie mumbled earning him a glare from his niece. “It’s right here” he held up the letter from the schools admissions office. 

Abby took the letter and looked it over like it was some rare artifact. She let off a slow breath. “You want me to open it?” Don asked after a moment. 

“No,” Abby objected then took a deep breath and tore the envelope open pulling out the paper inside. 

The three men watched as her eyes scanned over it abnormally fast for the average person. Then another second before a large smile spread over her face. 

“I got in” she whispered almost inaudibly then began to repeat it louder jumping up and down in joy “I got in! I got in! I got in!” she stopped and whisked over to where Don was sitting “Dad! Dad! Dad! Look! I even got a scholarship!” 

“I can see that” Don murmured looking at the paper that was thrust into his hand “nice job kid” 

“We knew you could do it,'' Alan encouraged with a smile. 

“I’m going to go call Amita and tell her” Abby declared “this is awesome!” with that she ran from the room. 

“Donnie, uh,” Alan spoke up after a moment “you are aware she just called you dad right? Without uh any snarky backdrop or anything” 

Don smiled lightly eyes still on the acceptance letter “yeah I know” 

Chapter 14 -> 

#Don Eppes #alan eppes #Charlie Eppes #numb3rs #numb3rs season 1 #amita ramanujan #larry fleinhardt #david sinclair #terry lake #billy cooper #Episode Related #episode per chapter #abby calvin #fanfiction #Also posted on AO3 #also posted on quotev

[prorevenge]

"I have an A-, so let me steal you art."

I had this friend clear back in junior high. Well, she was more of an acquaintance than a friend. We will call her Miss.

I met Miss in my 8th grade. She had moved to the area during summer. I'm the type of person who tries to include those who aren't being included anywhere else. And, due to the fact that she was a new student who didn't move in part way in the year, she was alone. (When new kids come part way, they are swarmed by students.) Miss and I had a few of the same interests. Anime, especially Naruto, we loved making music, and though she was a tad overweight, she loved to run (which I thought was awesome).

Anyways. Even though we had connected in some places, Miss always made me feel...uneasy. She had this tendency to jump headfirst into something. Sometimes, it equaled out into a grand talent, other times, she had a severe addiction to Sims. But, due to this motivation she wore, her math skills were above and beyond. Miss was a year younger than me and was already in my math class. I was, and still am, terrible at math. It doesn't click for me. It is normal for me to stay in the D range for my math, even after doing all the worksheets, studying many hours every night and taking every test. At least I tried.

Miss refused to tutor me at all. Which was fine. Her choice. I do not think she quite grasped how tough math was for me. There was one day she came in and said, "Aren't you excited to take calculus with me. We should be in it the same time in high school." I just laughed. (I never even made it to pre-cal.) There was a strange thing I noticed though. Miss was absent every single test. I thought it was something that should be addressed. But, I had watched her do assignments and they were a breeze for her. I wouldn't see a reason for her to cheat.

Toward the end of our first semester, Miss had noticed that I drew on a regular basis. I'm an artist. Far more so now than back then. I can't even look at my art from junior high without cringing. She asked for me to draw her something. I was delighted and said yes. Whipping her up something that was similar to other pieces I had done. It was on line paper and wasn't the best thing I had accomplished by that age.

As the semester was coming to a close, I realized the likelihood of me getting a D+ by the end was small. That meant I wouldn't be able to go on the school trip. Which, as you would imagine, devastated me. The last chance I had was an art project my math teacher would do every term. It still involved math, but a creative outlook on it. This one was based on a radius of a circle. So someone could draw a dog with a leash as the radius, and the grass may create a circle around the dog. As long as it had that idea, it counted. And, the art was judged, first and second places received extra credit. Basically, this was salvation for the super artsy students.

There hadn't ever been a term where I didn't get first place. I got first place the year prior as well. This was the only way I had passed. I attempted to think outside the box. (As the dog and leash was used regularly.) I ended up drawing an angel with broken wings, chained at her ankle with a sort of magic suppression circle beneath her.

After the drawings were judged, the teacher would go through all of them and show the class. The last two were shown as 2nd and 1st place. Some people had cute ideas and then he went to 2nd place. I saw my drawing. The one I had turned in. I got 2nd place. That never happened. And then, he lifted up 1st place. I also saw my drawing. Mine. The one I had drawn for Miss. The speed at which I twisted to turn my body toward her must have given her the hint that I wasn't happy. She later came up to me and said, "I'm sorry. I needed the extra credit, I'm at an A-."

I didn't say anything to her at the moment. I was fueled with anger and anything that would have come from my mouth likely would have been nonsense. But it bothered me that she wasn't willing to tutor me for ten minutes, and then proceeded to claim my art as her own while I failed.

I let it go for awhile. I still refused to speak to her, yet, my animosity only grew when I saw her absent for the final test, and, as I saw one of her friends she had made taking pictures of his test.

At the end of class and test taking, I walked up to the teacher with a giant binder of all of my art. I declared that she had stolen my art and displayed him my works in the binder. One of which was extremely similar to what I had drawn for her. My teacher said, "When I saw her piece, I even thought it was similar to your art." I then told the teacher that it seemed strange that Miss was absent every single test. The teacher knitted his brow and pulled out our attendance records and skimmed through it before saying, "AEON, thank you for bringing this to my attention. You may go."

For awhile, I didn't hear if anything had happened to Miss. Semester was about to come to a close, I still had a D- and winter break was on its way. But, one day, I come into class and sit down. Miss comes up behind me and sits in her own. I still hadn't exchanged words to her and then I hear:

"Miss, could you come here?" I glanced at the teacher and he gave me a smile that eased my entire being. Miss made her way to the teacher and I got to eat every bit of the conversation. "Miss, it has come to my attention that you do not deserve the extra credit of coming in first place. A friend of AEON's approached me and showed me proof that it was a gift she had given you. You are aware that even though art may be given as a gift, you can not and should not claim it as your own unless the artist agrees you may?" I heard subtle agreements from Miss. "Good," the teacher continued, "with your understanding of such, I'm sure you understand why I must give AEON not just the extra credit from earning 2nd place, but 1st place as well, giving her 70 points of extra credit." He seemed to say that especially loud. That amount would put me beyond a D+. I was thrilled.

It didn't stop though, the teacher kept going, but quieted his voice as more students filed in. "I have been going over your attendance. I found a glaring inconsistency in your absents. You have been gone every single test." I heard a rustle of papers. "As you can see, there isn't a single test you weren't absent for. Thus, you took them on a later date after school. I have spent the last couple weeks investigating this and have found that another student in this class had been taking pictures of the test and sending it to you. Are you willing to confirm this at this time? Or, would you like to wait until we have a meeting with your parents."

Silence.

Pure, revengeful silence. All those years practicing my art wasn't going to be abused. I figured that she must have known that I was the reason for such knowledge to pop up and I didn't care by this point. I didn't need to say a single thing to her.

Miss finally spoke. "I am good at math, AEON can confirm that." I had to stifle a laugh, because, I honestly could. I watched her math in front of me all the time.

"Meeting it is then. I would like you to know that we have records of the text messages between you and the person who sent the images. He will also be joining the meeting. Whether or not you are good at math won't change the situation. In the end, you may need to retake this course."

Miss gave a brief, "Okay," and sauntered to her desk.

I didn't get to know much after that. As much as I wanted to hear everything, the teacher still needed to uphold a safe environment. That being said, there are some cherries on this cake worth taking note when I saw her again in high school. While I knew we were about to be in the same school again, I had no plans on reaching out. She sought me out though and pulled me aside.

Miss went on to say that I destroyed a lot of her parents' faith in her as well as her teachers'. Her entire school life was dissected and studied. They found further errors where they had figured out where she had been cheating. Any respect teachers found in her had decayed. Her final year in junior high was a mass of redoing classes and taking online classes to catch up and be ready for high school. I had ruined a lot of her life. And then Miss said, "I'm happy you did it while I was in junior high before someone called me out in college. I don't think I would have stopped if I hadn't been taken down. Since then I've been actually trying. I've even lost weight!" (I'm not sure what the weight thing had to do with me ruining her reputation, but, that's what she said.)

I went on to tell her that that's great and I hoped she would continue to prosper in her education and body, but I did let her know that I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with her again. I mentioned that having someone steal my art after I gifted it to them quaked a lot of my trust and I haven't given anyone my artwork since. (I have now after five years being out of high school.) She understood and took it well.

I feel like this is pro-revenge in two ways. One, I gave her her comeuppance, I got my revenge. I received my extra credit plus some. I went on the school trip when she didn't. Everything fell exactly where I wanted it. But, two, I also helped her stop cheating her way through life, inevitably leading to a better future. Who knows, she may have fallen back in her ways, but at the time, everything worked out.

(source) story by (/u/AEONmeteorite)

#prorevenge #by /u/AEONmeteorite #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

[idrawstuffidk]

Alice The Kidnapper

Ok, my name is Daniel, and I have a lot of things I think I’m finally clear to share. It’s been a while so sorry if details are a little muddy, the police investigation lasted ages.

I was born in 2001 and am currently 19 years old, when I was 4 years old, I was walking with my mother, but I don’t remember anything about her before that day, she had blond curly hair like mine, and green eyes that also matched. We were walking hand in hand when I noticed a lady walking our way, she looked younger than the woman that held my hand and was very tall, I’d like to say 6’5 or something. She wasn’t all that out of the ordinary, she wore a red dress that was cinched in the middle and black shoes, long greyish black hair floated behind her held back by a red hairband. She was smiling and humming to herself, her eyes were closed but they opened to look at me as she grew closer, her smile widened a bit and pale blue eyes sparkled as she held out a hand to me. Being a child I did something that was stupid, and took her hand.

I remember pulling away from my mother and hearing her shouting after us, but we turned a corner and walked into a deep woods I don’t think was supposed to be there. The lady looked at me, still smiling, and spoke.

“Hello Daniel, my name is Alice”

From that day forth I lived with Alice, it never occurred to me that this was odd, she simply was like my caretaker, acted like a mother, I never questioned it. We lived in a small house in the woods with multiple other children, the walls were made of wood and so was the floor, there were a lot of rugs but I don’t recall any carpeting, I still remember the layout, when you entered through the front door there was a large room with a huge rug in the middle and a brick fireplace at the other end. Just to the right side of the fireplace was a hallway that led to the kitchen and dining room, then there were two long hallways on either side of the wall that lead to the bedrooms. At the end of the left hallway was a bathroom and I recall that there was a “toy room” in the left hallways that had a bunch of toy chests in it. It was a simple layout, and was always warm and cozy, in comparison, Alice was like a freezer. It never struck me as odd at the time but her hands were cold and clammy, and I never felt a pulse.

The other kids there are nothing special, they all just looked like kids, between the ages of 3 and 13 years old, I think. Though granted, I never knew exact ages. They had varying eye colours, hair colour and texture, they came from every ethnicity but we all spoke English, which was the only thing we all had in common. They seemed to be from all over the world, but in my child brain, I didn’t see that as odd whatsoever. We grew up together without much issue.

Every day we would be woken up individually by Alice, unless we woke up early. She’d make us breakfast, usually something with fruit and some grilled grains or something, I think it was hominy? Sometimes we’d have fried eggs and bacon but it usually stuck to the former. Alice never ate though, she’d sit and drink some tea, always told us we were welcome to try it when we complained that we only got water or milk on a good day, anyone who took up the offer would immediately spit it out, I think she drank her tea black with no sugar.

We’d be free to play games with each other and sometimes she would bring us outside into the garden behind the house, where we would play games like “circle you” or “what time is it mr wolf” sometimes we’d play games I have never heard of since, a game called “sunlight sunlight” really stood out where we’d all stand in hula hoops on the ground and whenever she called out “sunlight sunlight” followed by a colour you’d have to all try to run to a hula hoop of said colour and stand in it. Sometimes she’d make it more difficult and say the hula hoop had to only contain people with the same hair colour or eye colour. I don’t know if she made that game up or not but it was fun.

At some point she would tell us it was time for lunch which usually consisted of condensed soup that was watered down, and sometimes preserved fruit on toast. I don’t recall it tasting badly but I’ve since developed a new pallet and don’t think I’d enjoy it much anymore. Again, Alice would simply drink her tea.

After that we were again free to do whatever we wanted, so long as we didn’t leave the house. We never were allowed outside after lunch. Alice was usually busy during that time so we’d find ways to entertain ourselves, the older kids would often take care of the younger ones and we would all play games. Alice stayed in her room

Dinner was always a gamble, we usually had soup along with some kind of meat and vegetables, but she’d always give us coffee cake afterwards. Again, she’d sip her tea and usually got a bunch of kids who tried to try it, every time we failed to drink it without spitting it out. I never tried, but I always watched.

After that she would have us help her clean up the house and we could have a communal storytime once we finished, she’d read through a book while sitting on her armchair and we’d all sit by her feet listening. The faster we cleaned the more time she’d have to finish the story. This was difficult for her to explain because she never explained time to us. We had no idea what aging really meant, all we knew was that as you lived longer, you got bigger. That’s all we knew. But she made do, and would send us all to bed at the same time, she’d go to each room individually to tuck everyone in, and then the days would repeat. Rarely did the schedule change. I remember that during the time in between lunch and dinner she would oftentimes call the older kids to her office, that I think was a continuation of her bedroom, and hold classes for them explaining math and the like, I was in those classes and they explained all we really needed to know to live with her. The younger kids had no idea about any of it, but they didn’t necessarily need to. Even when class wasn’t in session, she was still busy.

Sometimes when we woke up one of us would be missing, or a new kid would show up. I asked Alice about it, she told me that sometimes people have to transfer out, and sometimes, they transfer in. She never elaborated, but she said that when someone disappeared it meant they were transferred to the “other place”. And that was that.

I remember the one day we saw another adult, I really want to say I was 10 or so, but I can’t be sure. Was on the phone with someone and we eventually heard a knock from the front door. She shooed everyone out of the main room and told us all to wait in the toy room. While everyone else went to said toy room I held back. I snuck into one of the girls bedrooms, the one closest to the wall, and looked through the grate. I could hardly hear what they were saying, but I managed to piece together the important parts.

Alice opened the door and there stood a man even taller than her, dressed in clothing I’d never seen before but I now realize was a business suit. He was maybe 8 feet tall, very broad and wore a black hat fedora that shadowed his face. I couldn’t see any skin due to the fact he was wearing gloves and I didn’t have the best views He handed her a box and a paper to sign.

“Thank you got coming on such short notice, I ran out of Flunitrazepam faster than anticipated” she said

They continued to talk and from what I heard it seemed to be an argument, the man told her to use less and she’d “get the same result” but she claimed that she didn’t “want them to feel it for long”. Finally I got a clear sentence again.

“Alright then, it was a pleasure serving you, miss. Alison Garden”

“I’ve told you a few times, it’s Alice Cal”

“Of course Miss. Cal, of course”

With that she shut the door and headed towards the toy room, by some miracle she didn’t see me and I was able to then move to the bathroom and pretend I had been using it. She seemed to buy it, and life continued on as normal. I was the only kid to know her full name was Alison Garden, or perhaps Alison Cal. I didn’t think about this for almost 3 years.

When I was 12, and this time I know how old I was for sure, I started noticing that the children that were transferred out all looked like me, size-wise at least. They all looked like they were about my age. I asked Alice about it and it took about a good 10 minutes of pestering before she sat me down to explain.

“ Listen Danny,” she said, “I’m going to explain something to you. When a certain numbers of days pass, something called a ‘year’ passes. When a kid has been alive for a certain number of years, they have to be taken out of my care. So they get transferred to the other place”

“So, how long have I been alive?”

Alice hesitated at that before continuing.

“I can’t tell you that, because I don’t know. But don’t worry, when you’re transferred out you’ll make all kind of new friends, and your old friends will join you soon enough” she pat me on the head “don’t worry about it”.

I did worry about it, I thought about it a lot, actually. And I was getting suspicious. I didn’t know what this “other place” was, but I felt like I didn’t want to go. This was only cemented the next day.

I had a best friend there, a little girl named Daffodil. She was younger than me, but I’m not sure how much younger. She wandered away from the yard while we were playing “sunlight sunlight”, and I followed after her. I heard Alice call out names but Daffodil didn’t, I ignored Alice in favour of running up to Daffodil and grabbing her arm. In the distance, we saw a person.

They weren’t that far away, but we were too scared to approach, we didn’t know who they were and I knew Daffodil had never seen a person outside of the house before. They looked at us before calling out.

“Hey! What are you kids doing here?!” They stayed walking towards us and we were getting ready to book it, but suddenly they gasped and lurched their chest. We watched for a bit as they gasped and seized on the ground before they stopped moving. We didn’t know what we were watching, but something possessed us to move closer.

We got close enough that I reached out and touched their arm, they weren’t in good shape, we knew that. We didn’t know what death was but something was very very wrong. I noticed I didn't feel a pulse. I could feel it in my arm and Daffodil’s arm, but not theirs. Just like Alice. Their skin wasn’t cold yet, but it didn’t feel clammy, it felt just like Alice.

I was swiftly pulled away from the corpse by a cold and clammy hand that belonged to the same person I’d been thinking of, Alice was extremely unhappy, I’d never seen her so upset, but anger turned to shock and fear when she saw the body. She picked Daffodil up and grabbed my hand, telling us it wasn’t safe here, and we had to get back to the house. This time though, I didn’t feel comforted by her, I felt afraid.

Neither Daffodil or I was allowed outside after that. We were locked in the toy room instead to entertain ourselves. I made sure to play with Daffodil so she’d be happy, but I was scared myself. I knew something was wrong.

It was one night that I put two and two together, I had woken up in the dead of night, and had left my room to get some water from the kitchen, (the bathroom water was always tinted) when I heard footsteps. I listened and heard them coming from a girl named Susie’s room, one of the older kids, like me. I peeked in and Alice was standing over Susie, I saw something whispy and white but only for a second, as it disappeared quickly into Alice's mouth, and I realized why Alice never ate in front of us. She felt Susie's wrist for a second before turning to leave, I slid into another kids room and watched, terrified, as she walked down the hallway.

To this day I don’t know what came over me or how I even accomplished this, but I managed to tail her somehow and watch what she did. She cut through the front room and walked up the left hallway, walked into the toy room and pushed a bookshelf to the side, opening a door behind it with a pair of keys. She walked into reveal a much large room, thinking about it there always was an area of space that couldn’t possibly be taken up by the toy room alone but I never noticed at the time. Inside this room, I didn’t see at the time, but she walked out with a huge bag. I rushed to Suzie's room as she fumbled with the keys, and grabbed her arm, I had to check, and sure enough, it felt like Alice. I didn’t know what death was, but I had a feeling Susie wasn’t waking up.

As Alice opened the door I quickly ducked under the bed, saw her approach, and then I assumed she put Susie in the bag because she left with it slung over her shoulder and when I went to follow, Susie wasn’t in bed anymore. Alice brought Susie into the room and I hid in my bedroom, too scared to sleep, until dawn. I decided on that moment I was getting the hell out of there, and I was taking Daffodil with me.

The next day I didn’t eat anything, during dinner Alice tried to get me to eat, she said I had to stay healthy or I’d hurt myself, so I put some of the soup in my mouth and pretended to swallow, while she had her back turned, trying to get one of the younger kids to not throw their bread around, I poured the soup back into the large bowl she had their for seconds. I’m just glad no one else took more soup, because I really don’t know what I was thinking. Alice seemed content enough. That night, though, I didn’t go to sleep. I snuck into Daffodil’s room and told her to hide under my bed and not make a sound. Alice walked towards my room and opened the door to find me still awake, I guess I must have looked very tired (because honestly, I was) because she laid me down in the bed and told me to go to sleep. I nodded and she left to go to the room. I followed.

I snuck into the toy room, Daffodil in tow, and we hid in the basket of toys. We saw Alice exit the room with the bag in hand, as well as that she had what seemed to be one of those masks doctors used to deliver anesthesia, and a large canister. luckily for us, the keys fell out of her hand and she didn’t seem to notice. I gestured to Daffodil to stay quiet, and we snuck into the room, It was dark and cold. There was another door. A backdoor, I assumed, and I fumbled with the keys as I unlocked it, letting go of Daffodil’s Hand.

“Danny” she whispered “what are those?” I turned behind to see shovels, Rolled grass, grass seed, watering cans, and coffins. Multiple child-sized coffins. I didn’t know what they were, but I was able to quickly assume that you could put a kid in one of those coffins and use all of those tools to bury someone underground. I moved to grab Daffofil’s hand, but I stopped in my tracks as I heard the door open, and turned to see Alice standing there, face scarily bare. She stood still for only a second, before she lunged.

She went for Daffodil first, in the split second I had and turned on my heel and ran for it, I wasn’t sure if Daffodil was following or not but I couldn’t stop for anything. I ran as fast as I could and didn’t turn around despite hearing footsteps gaining on me, crunching on the leaves, I ran for only a few moments before the footsteps stopped, I didn’t stop running, but I looked behind me. Alice was standing there, Daffodils hand in hers. She looked calm, but also livid. The hate in her eyes practically burned me.

I turned my head and kept running.

After that is a blur, someone saw me, helped me back to the nearest town, the police got involved, they managed to figure out who I was by facial recognition, and told me my full name was Daniel Morris. I was reported as a missing person 9 years prior, and was 13 years old. I was found on my 13th birthday.

Oddly enough, my hometown was in the USA, and somehow, I had been found in Canada. They reported me as found, and they contacted my parents. I reunited with them shortly after, it was awkward to say the least, I apparently had some siblings now, but they never stopped trying to find me. I met my siblings, and the case continued.

I told them that I walked to the location initially, they asked if I was forced into labour and I said no, they asked what I was fed and I told them the varying meals we had most commonly, they were completely bewildered. It seemed initially like I was a victim of human trafficking or child labour but I was being cared for and fed well, not hurt or anything. It was apparently bizarre.

However, after some talking, describing everything I saw, and telling them about the drug I heard her talking about, they told me that drug was supposed to make people pass out, so they deduced that she must have been waiting for the kids to reach a certain age, probably around 13 years old, and was either killing them and harvesting their organs or drugging them and selling them to someone else. They claimed that she must have transported me across the border somehow while I was unconscious, since she clearly had access to heavy drugs, but they never were able to find even a trace of her, they were never even able to identify her, they trusted me that she was named Alice, but they weren’t entirely sure if that was an alias or not.

I wanted to believe that explanation, but I didn’t buy it. I didn’t think those kids were being harvested for anything, why would she be burying them otherwise? I didn’t think it was possible I was transported so far away, over a damn border, while I was unconscious. I didn’t believe it, so I did my own research.

It took some time but I found records of a woman by the name of Alison Garden, who died in the 1910s alongside her fiancé Jonathan Cal during a police standoff after they committed a bank robbery. This woman looked exactly like Alice. Despite the shitty black and white photo quality, I could recognize that face, I could recognize those eyes, it was her. She looked identical to the photo. So I dug even further. Alison was supposedly infertile, but was found by an autopsy report to have been pregnant at the time of her death. After that autopsy though, no one saw Alison again. Her corpse disappeared, and missing kids started popping up.

I guess I have no proof that this is her, I guess maybe this could all be a coincidence. Who knows, maybe Alice really is just a normal deranged person selling kids on the black market. It’s entirely possible, but there’s another reason I’m scared.

After awhile of looking at what kids look like at different ages on google (and I’m definitely on a watchlist somewhere for all these searches) I’m pretty sure that Daffodil was around 6 years old when I last saw her, 6 years ago. That means that now, she would be 12. If Alice really does kill kids when they turn 13, Daffodil only has 1 year left.

I need to find her, I need to save her. I left her behind back then but I WON'T fail her now.

I need to find her, that’s all I want. And I will not stop until I do. That is, if Alice doesn’t come back for me first, I guess.

But who knows, the police could be right, but I just can’t believe that. I know Alice is out there somewhere, and with her, is Daffodil.

#my oc #original character #creepypasta oc #creepypasta #oc #my writing #story #writing #Alice the kidnapper #oc backstory #except not really

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Haven DVD Commentaries - 3.02, Stay

Commentary with Matt McGuinness (Executive Producer, and Writer for this episode) and Gabrielle Stanton (Executive Producer)

MMG [During the previously on]: Gosh, I forgot how violent our show is sometimes; people are very angry. But they usually have good reason to be. I remember the day we came up with this in the room, that the Colorado Kid’s grave would be empty.

MMG [during the first scene in the truck stop]: We thought about shooting this scene at night, we decided to go for a gloomy morning kind of look. Now that guy, I would have preferred if he was much more naked, because you could barely tell that he was naked.

MMG [Duke and Audrey talking on her balcony]: We had lots of conversation on the day about what Duke’s weapon of choice would be in this moment. I like what he picked [the screwdriver]. I’d originally scripted a big wrench like he was going to bash somebody. I will say that also, Eric must have been in some knife fights because that is in fact the way you hold a knife in a fight. This was the first day of shooting of season three. This was the second episode but we shot out of order, and this was the first or I think this was actually the second day of shooting. There’s Duke and Nathan. Those boys have some issues.

GS [As Audrey is offering Nathan’s coat to the zombie man dog thing]: This is where Audrey does a little bit of her Trouble-whispering that she’s so good at; connecting empathically with Troubled people. MMG: Casting these dog-men was, as you can imagine, quite a challenge. Now this guy [the store owner] like all good jerks, gets his comeuppence and gets bit on the neck. That’s fairly savage. [GS asks why the casting was so challenging] Because, we needed guys who could act, we needed guys who you believed might be a dog. We needed guys who looked good naked, and it was hard. We did end up getting some great, great guys. Particularly the guy who played the lead dog; he was great.

MMG: And this is our introduction to Claire Callahan which was a lot of fun. GS: Who is actually naturally I believe blonde. Didn’t we darken her hair for the role? MMG: We turned her into an auburn red head sort of deal. GS: I like the way they play together. I can see them as friends. MMG: I remember when Claire showed up, I was there and poor Bree Williamson, we were way behind and she showed up and she found herself in a scene (not this one - a later scene) and before you knew it she was acting and saying her lines, and no one … I had barely spoken to her, I not talked to her one second about her character, who her character was or what her character was doing … And I just was like ‘hold on’ and I ran out and had a three minute conversation with her about who she was and I think she really appreciated it.

MMG: That’s Adrian Griffiths who played Tor Magnusson, a name that we loved here in the writers’ room. We like … a lot of our guest actors have what we like to think of as very real names. GS: The more real they are, the more likely they are conceived by Matt McGuinness [which makes Matt laugh a lot] MMG: We liked that name, it’s actually the name of a friend of my fathers.

MMG: This barn was a great location, we found a barn that was a labrynthian warren of rooms. [As Audrey and Nathan come back out of the barn] That makes the barn look small, but that’s just an outbuidling, see that barn connects to the other barn, and they all go underground, it was a big barn. Look how beautiful it looks; such a rich looking show, it’s great. GS: I love that colour. MMG: Isn’t it great? It looks like they’re in an aquarium in that shot right there. [as they’re asking Tor to lock the barn]. GS: Everyone wears plaid in Haven. There’s a lot of plaid. Except Audrey.

MMG [At Duke and the raw-fish-eating man dog thing]: This was a fun scene. This guy was large. He has some big muscles. We always had fun imagining which dog turned into which person and I had a feeling this was a rottweiler or a Saint Bernard. [As Duke asks Dwight to restrain the man dog] This was a fun little moment.

MMG [As Audrey and Nathan go back into the barn after Liam]: This scene we shot at the very end of the day. It was dark outside and we lit this. GS: The lighting looks great. MMG: This was fun ... where all the dog men find clothes. GS: Which kind of makes sense because they’d be cold, but also it’s kind of hard to have too many naked people running around town. MMG: And they are getting smarter. And there’s the big dog [Jessie]. This guy was great. Although I never liked the way he put that coat on; he looked like he’d put a coat on a million times the way he did that. But other than that he was terrific.

GS: How long did this sequence take to shoot, it must have been half a day? MMG: Oh we were in this barn for a long time. Two days in total I think.

MMG [When we first see Cookie the man dog]: What was his name originally, it was Juice Box right? Then he was Cookie. He’s the nice dog.

MMG: That was one of my favourite shots right there; them [the man dogs] running into the woods and scattering.

MMG: I remember when we came up with this idea in the room … it was just one of those big quantum leap moments where, we’ve all scene werewolves where people turn into animals. On lots of shows people turn into animals; we’d never seen animals turn into people. So we said what if some guy’s Trouble turned his animals into people? GS: Wasn’t the original, original, original version a pet store owner? And all the animals in the pet store changed? MMG: If we do one more season we will do cursed pet store. I love cursed pet store.

MMG [about Vince and Dave]: These guys are investigating. This was the beginning of our season-long arc … where the bolt-gun became key.

MMG [As Claire is listing her qualifications]: I miss Claire right now. She meets and unfortunate demise. GS: Yeah, we would have liked to have kept her, but we wrote the character to meet the end that she did. MMG: Yeah, she was brought in as cannon fodder and fulfilled that need. GS: But she was great, we liked her a lot. MMG: Nathan’s in a wierd position here because he wants to be nice to Audrey and he wants to protect Audrey, but he’s also worried about her so he’s allowing the psychiatrist to come along for the ride.

MMG [the scene with the man dog in Dwight’s truck]: I thought this was really funny. How did he end up in the car? Look at the peck muscles on that guy. He was huge. Don’t mess with Dwight - he brings that wrestler thing. Claire notices that Audrey and Nathan have something.

MMG [At Duke’s “Who are you again? Don’t tell me - another Audrey Parker” line]: That was a great ad lib by Eric Balfour right there, that ‘another Audrey Parker’ he did that on the day. We all thought that was very funny. In the script he looked at her and said ‘Who are you a real estate agent?’ which I thought was kind of a good line. And then he said ‘another Audrey Parker?’ and I thought, that’s a much better line!

MMG [In the animal centre]: This was a great set, very creepy. GS: It’s scary. MMG: This was Claire’s first scene. MMG [when we see the man in the cage]: And this I remember was Randy, our stunt guy. GS: Actually in there? MMG: Actually in there. GS: Wow. MMG: Crammed himself into that little cage. And he was really uncomfortable.

MMG [When they find the body of the dog catcher]: Our little tip of the hat to 2001; dogs using tools and getting smarter.

MMG [Dwight and Duke heading into the Herald]: This was the first scene we shot. For the whole season. Very first scene, I remember, everyone’s bright eyed and busy tailed, lots of executives milling about. CS [As they go inside]: I like this set, the Haven Herald. MMG: It’s hard to shoot in; it’s really small.

MMG [As Audrey, Nathan and Claire look at the animal centre records]: These are these difficult math scenes that we always hate writing, but then they’re kind of important. We call them math scenes because everyone’s talking about the facts that they know and we’re sort of prosecuting the case. As a show we like to walk that fine line of being a procedural, but keeping the character and the emtion and seeing what’s going on with people and you’ve got to do both.

MMG [As Tor is talking about what happened when he dropped Jessie off at the animal centre] : This story he tells was a scene we wanted to shoot. That’s when all the dogs turned to people and it would have been a really, really cool scene. But it would have been shooting out of order and flashbacky and we kind of don’t do that kind of stuff, so we didn’t do it. But if I ever do this as a movie, I’m going to do the scene where the guy walks out of the dog pound and all the dogs stop barking.

MMG [Duke, Dwight, Vince and Dave reading papers in the Herald]: This I think is going to be really funny in a second. GS: This is my favourite part of this scene. Everyone has to look out the window. MMG: Because a naked guy goes running by. And this guy; what a sport. It was cold. He wore sneakers, we decided to let him wear sneakers because he had to run down the street. And he’s got the cone on! GS: He’s got the cone on! That was my favourite thing, I’m so glad we got to keep that. MMG: And that guy was very naked. We did the show without any naked female dogs; we had a few but not enough. GS: It’s one thing to shoot from the waist up, but from the collarbone up makes it harder.

GS: So here’s one thing about the Troubles. If your parents had said to you ‘you may not ever own an animal’ wouldn’t you ask why, and press for the details? MMG: Well maybe but, the house I grew up in, No. You were beaten. [about Tor] This guy was great. He’s really big too, he’s like six five. You’ll see later when we have a stand off in the woods, we needed him to be threatened by the dog, and it was like, ‘We need to put him in a hole’. MMG: Marcoon Hills, named after one of my college room-mates; Stu Marcoon.

MMG [At the stand off with Jessie in the woods]: This scene I was terrified of, because it’s a full grown man having an emtional scene with his dog turned to a man. And I thought; this has the potential to really go sideways. And both of these actors dug me out of a whole and did a great, great job. Jessie was the name of my golden retriever when I was little. That guy looks like a crazy dog, doesn’t he? Both of these guys were great. Oh there’s a female dog, with a very modest sweater she seems to have found. Oh wow, look at the VFX on that hand touch! I remember having that conversation in post and I had forgotten. And they’re all dogs! In sweaters! All of those dogs in the woods; it was really tricky.

MMG [As Cookie finds Liam]: There is our executive producer Shawn Pillar’s dog, Slone. Who is only about a year and a half old there. GS: This whole show teaches you that dogs are good people too. MMG: Gabbie’s here to make fun of my show apparently. GS: No! I’m saying I think it’s a very nice message. I think the message should be, people should go out and adopt a dog.

GS [As Claire tells Audrey how Hadley and the others are doing]: Audrey’s found a kindred spirit. MMG: She was a good friend.

GS [As we see Nathan with Cookie]: Slone is like three times that size now. MMG: I remember telling Lucas Bryant, ‘OK go pet the dog and look sexy, and appealing. And he pulls it off. We’re going to see him look over in a way that melts the ladies’ hearts I believe. It’s nice.

GS [At Vince and Dave in the Herald]: I always like it when they fight. MMG: These guys are great when they fight. And they are the only ones with what appears to be the dewy decimal card system still in their office. And apparently … GS: A mummy! MMG: … souveniers from Tutankamun. I love that. GS: Who would steal from Vince and Dave? You’d have to be pretty scary.

GS [As Duke is telling Audrey about the Hunter]: We decided on two months, and then I think by episode ten we were like, oh my gosh, we are slaves to time. MMG: There’s the bronco. There are only two people in the world who can drive that vehicle. One of them is that guy right there, and the other is one of our transpo guys. No one else is able to drive that car. GS: Aw, this is sad.

#haven syfy #haven dvd commentaries #haven season three extras #3.02 - Stay

[adriennesays]

Third Blog Entry: Who is Adrienne?

Part I. Do you agree or disagree with your test results? Why? First of all, when I tried doing this personality test almost a year ago, I got ESFP. In that site it was indicated that I was born to be entertainer. Well yes, I agreed on that because I love making the people around me happy. However, I took the test again a few months ago (because it’s entertaining to answer questions that won’t make you think that much) then I got ENFP. It’s quite near to the first one honestly. Then yes, I got ENFP-T again. In all honesty, yes I agree. I was born to be an extrovert and many can attest to that. I am indeed sociable. I love making new friends, going to parties, and such. I am also fond of seeing things in the bigger picture which makes me really practical. I believe that I don’t just focus on the now. I also consider things that might happen in the future. Also, curiosity runs in my blood. I tend to be nosy because I want to know everything. Yet, I truly am a sensitive person. My emotions can sometimes control me. I guess that’s one of the reasons why I have so many friends because I show empathy to them. Lastly, I am resourceful in a lot of things. My internship manager told me that I’m adaptable and is always willing to learn new things. Do the recommended careers (based on the infographics) appeal to you? Why/why not? However, despite how true the results are, I just don’t see myself in those jobs stated like landscape architect. I’m not good at that. But, therapist can be one. Before I wanted to take up psychology, but my mind was conquered with the idea that I’m not a medically inclined person. When I was in high school I was the Editor-in-Chief of the Filipino Section of our school paper, which can justify why I “must” be a travel writer. I used to love writing. In addition to that, well yes I can be a pre-school teacher. I taught 5 kids during our NSTP and I was noticed by the coordinator and awarded me then for being so patient and lively. It seemed that these jobs reflected who I am, but right now I have already chosen the career that I want which is way too far from what was suggested to me. How will the knowledge of your personality type help you to become a successful business leader? Moreover, such results can still help me on how to become a student leader. It will lend me a hand in a such way that I have the knowledge on the areas that I know I am weak at like in controlling emotions. A business leader, in order to be successful, must show empathy especially to his subordinates. However, if not properly managed, this can be used against me. With the help of the personality test, at least I can identify my limitations easily. Part II Is the definition of each characteristic in the R-I-A-S-E-C profile consistent with what you know about yourself? Why or why not? The results I got were consistent enough to justify what I know about myself. It’s just funny because I keep on using the word “unconventional” to describe myself because I love doing new and bizarre things but being conventional is the highest one for me. Yes, it is true. From being the consistent top student in Math and Geometry during my elementary and high school years to taking up Finance, yes I love numbers and playing with them. But, it’s because I’ve been studying how to arrange, make, and solve data as that what my course requires me to do that’s why I almost made them into perfect scores. All in all, I have mixed feelings with my first “choice”. On the other hand, enterprising and socializing deserve to be at the top spots as well because that's what who I am in truth. I love seeing, talking, and interacting with people. I'm shy at first but I'm very versatile in terms of listening or talking. The last on the list was realistic, which focuses on being athletic and such. I must say that its position fits like a glove because it's the truest among them. I'm not into those things. I still remember that my lowest grades belong to those aspects. Do any of the suggested jobs fitting your R-I-A-S-E-C profile interest you? Why or why not? Which of the suggested jobs do you think you are capable of doiing, based on the level of preparation prescribed in the O*Net profiler? For me, since I will start on the entry level, being a credit officer fits me. Everything that I know are mostly comprised of Finance and credit is actually based on it. To name a few, capital and character must be tackled when talking about credit. I'm sure that I have the capacity to converse to them nicely with a real plan of convincing them to pay what they have to. It's a matter of being knowledgeable with a pinch of proper interaction. Broker can also be a perfect job me. Investments and the like are also my interests. Lastly, being a chief executive is a job that I know I deserve to be in in the future. With enough experience and openness, I think I can manage the people well and it will not be hard for me to opt the people whom I believe can help me in making excellent decisions. Do you think you will have a fulfilling career if you take one of the suggested jobs for your profile? Why or why not? In all honesty, I think all of them can fulfill me. It actually depends on the level of my lifestyle. Right now, I'm only a student so I can maybe stick with level two kind of job. But in the future, I'd definitely want to become a CEO or CFO. Who doesn't want to become the big boss anyway? But why? You might think I'm becoming so proudful right but I know I will make it. I'm competitive enough and one of the things that gives me the sense of fulfillment is when I have achieved my goals succesfully with integrity, of course. Do you agree with the comparison between your level of introversion/extroversion to your R-I-A-S-E-C profile? Why or why not? I certainly agree with enterprising and socializing completing extroversion because that's what I am. My Myers Briggs results can attest to that. Yet, I'm quite stunned that being emotional, which falls in the artistic side, is in my introversion. In reality I'm very open to being emotional. But maybe it refers to being emotional and applying it in the form or creativity which I believe I don't possess that much. Investigative, which covers curiosity and independence, is in the introversion as well. Being independent is somehow right, because looking for people from time to people is a sign that I don't want to be alone I guess. But, I don't think curiosity should be classified as my introverted trait. I'm always curious, that's why I know a lot. Part III What did you learn about yourself by doing the SelfStir assessment? I knew myself that I tend to change my mind very quickly which is why maybe the results are not totally the same. As much as possible (with all the truth in the world), I do the right things. I think it's the reason why almost all were nearing to a score of 4. But, sometimes I just focus on myself specifically on what I “think”will help me to be more decisive. An example would be when I chose a rating between 2-2.8 in sharing personal stories. I'm emotional yes but I don't want to look weak. Sharing everything about you can give them the chance to hurt you. I have tendencies to be rude, maybe that's why. What is your greatest strength and your greatest weakness? Did these traits surprise you? Or are you already aware of them? I must say that my greatest strength is understanding one’s feelings. I'm confident enough to say that empathy is my greatest asset because it lets you touch one’s true self which can help you come up with ideas on how to help them. In short, it can lead you to that person trusting you. When a person feels that you're trustworthy, then everything follows like a solid friendship and such. On my strongest weakness, I think it's being indecisive. It's weird that I'm practical in so many things but because I decide too quickly due to my spontaneity I tend to make bad decisions. These traits did not surprise me at all. I've been answering them to almost all of my interviews and many had already told these to me. What do you think about other people’s rating of you? Are you surprised to learn about their impression of you? Or are you already aware of the image you project to the world? I'm not that surprised in the other aspects because what the other people think of me really matters that why I allot time to discover what they perceive to me. However, I'm just shocked that some thought that I don't get mad that much wherein fact if you really know me, I can be the meanest person you'll ever meet. How important is a 360 assessment in the workplace? First, this will provide rationality to everyone. It is not fair and justifiable to just rely on a person’s own judgment. People are intended to be biased for themselves because that's life. We don't want to look unappealing to the others. That's not our goal. With the help of 360 assessment, you get to decipher things that you haven't tilled out yet within yourself or to face the reality that you've been denying just because you can't accept it to yourself. An ample knowledge about yourself will make you become more decisive which is a must in a workplace. – How can this assessment help you become an effective leader? As I have said, being aware on your weaknesses is essential in becoming a leader. In order to become a leader to the others, you have to become your own leader of yourself first. Knowing all the corners of yourself will build a solid edifice that no one (hopefully) can destroy. Also, in that way, you get to understand the things that the other people need because opening yourself to the others is a way of asking them what they want in order for you to attain them not just for them, but for your self-fulfillment as well.

[brazilianism]

What’s going on in Brazil? #09

Sooooo  in spite of a popular saying here being that the year in Brazil only starts after Carnival, a fuckton of stuff has happened since January. I’m gonna try to cover them all quickly, but brace yourselves. Written at 11/02/2017.

The year started with the total meltdown of  our prison system. Basically, gang fights lead to the massacre of some 60 people in a prison in Amazon, then another governor from another state asked for federal help cause they thought they were gonna face the same issue, then our Minister of Justice said “nah” then SURPRISE shit happened and some other 40 people died and more prisons were taken by organized crime and long story shot some couple hundred prisoners were killed by other prisoners in a bunch of different prisons (and by killed I mean decapitated and their heads thrown over the prison walls). Government says situation is under control now but tbh we don’t really know that and we don’t even know how many people died or who’s really in charge in a few prisons, so. 

Then, a few days later, the judge (Teori Zavascki) who was in charge of the investigations of that famous corruption case, Lava Jato, died in a plane crash just when he was going back to the capital to approve on some quite dangerous papers. So our president had to name someone else to fill in the vacancy for the Supreme Court, right? He named Alexandre de Moraes last week... Our former Minister of Justice. Yes. The dude that did nothing on the thing above. And a man who has been linked to organized crime before. Waiting now to be confirmed as the next name to the Supreme Court. Yeah. Great. Also, speaking of the corruption investigations, a bunch of people got named, then the president decided “out of nowhere” to create another cabinet and name one of the accused guys to that position cause then he can’t be investigated by regular police, supreme court only, then a judge decided that that wasn’t legal, then the government appealed and it was overthrown, then another judge decided it was illegal, then the government appealed again and again and again and so on and they’re still fighting on it. 

 And if thought that was enough disaster for a year, there’s more. The entirety of the State of Espirito Santo was left without police for a week and, well, exactly what you think happened happened. Like in those distopia movies, people didn’t leave their homes, and the ones that did probably got mugged or killed. Hundreds of stored were sacked, cars robbed, etc. About a hundred people died, mostly murdered. This happened because police officers found a way to strike cause they happened to be the most underpaid officers in the whole country and their salaries haven’t been readjusted for seven years (and the state government still didn’t concede the increases after this). Federal government sent in the army, didn’t really solve the situation. Troops in other states, especially Rio, threaten to do the same thing now.

Coming back to policies, the High School Program reform was approved by the congress this week and every single teacher I know is pissed off which is probably not a good sign for a High School reform. What it does is making some subjects a mandatory base, like maths and portuguese, and others become optional... Like History, or Geography, or Chemistry, or Physics (they were all previously mandatory before). And now you kinda don’t need to have graduated in the subject you’re gonna teach to be able to teach, just prove you know the thing. And more hours of school for everybody, also. If it all sounds like a shitty idea, it’s because it is. 

On minor news, the new Mayors of Rio and São Paulo have been busy proving me they’re just the assholes I thought they were with the first naming his kid for a thing and the second embarking on a crusade against street art in general. Also, the Yellow Fever is back. Probably due the death of most mosquito predators like a year and a half ago in an area due to the biggest environmental disaster of the history of this country for which no one has been prosecuted yet. And our ex-first lady (wife of Lula) died and people became really mean and shitty about in online. 

I think this about covers it. Not an easy month, not an easy month at all.

#brazil #brazilian #whats going on in brazil #wgoib #politics #temer #Michel Temer #lula #alexandre de moraes #moreira franco #ES #espirito santo #reforma do ensino médio #greve da pm #massacre dos presidios #news #marisa leticia #teori zavascki #lava jato

[evenstevensranked]

#49: Season 2, Episode 12 - “Easy Crier”

Holy crap you guys. Can you believe we’re already into the #40s?! This is going by faster than I anticipated.

This week, Lenny Cranepool (a.k.a “Lenny the Lifter”) is the new kid at school. He's a giant. Louis and Twitty befriend him and they become the most feared crew in school. Until they find out Lenny is a big softie who dreams of becoming a pastry chef. Meanwhile, Ren is trying to outlaw dodgeball due to its physical dangers.

The opening shot is Louis late for school, running in slo-mo down the hallway. His backpack is unzipped so every single paper in his bag goes flying literally everywhere. He gets stopped by Tugnut who yells at him for being late, and Louis says “Or! Is it possible everybody else on earth is early?” Real slick, Louis. Tugnut let’s him off the hook for his “sassy mouth” clap back, because it’s dodgeball season and he’s creepily overexcited for it and even throws in some maniacal laughter to drive it home. Do schools have dodgeball season, though? Like, is that a thing? Do they have big rainbow parachute in gym class season, too? That was the best. Anyway, this dodgeball mention is setting up the subplot.

Louis crawls into math class trying (and failing) to go unnoticed, when suddenly… there’s a giant foot in the aisle! Someone else is sitting in his seat. It’s Lenny Cranepool! The new transfer student who must’ve only transferred there for a few days because we never see him again! Louis is clearly intimidated when Lenny stands up, towering over him and GROWLING. I’m not kidding. Lenny genuinely growls and grunts like a caveman. Now that I think about it, that’s pretty hilarious. Louis is chill though and settles for a different desk. Once he sits though, he casually says “Actually, I’d prefer the window seat” and out of nowhere he is LIFTED INTO THE AIR BY LENNY and carried over to the window. 

He’s sitting in front of Twitty now, so Twitty fills him in on everything. He tells Louis the new kid is Lenny the Lifter. Word on the street is that he got kicked out of his old school for “going on a lifting spree” probably. I love that, omg. Lenny breaks his pencil and growls like an animal again. Louis is nice and gives him one of his pencils, but Lenny doesn’t even say thank you and gives them a hard look. Louis and Twitty are just relieved to be alive at this point. 

Next, we see Ren and Nelson preparing to go live on the school news program, The Wombat Report. Ren introduces her dodgeball segment accusing it of being a “barbaric celebration of pain and violence that sadistically pits the mean and vicious against the weak and skinny.” Dang, Ren. Tugnut is watching while wearing an I <3 DODGEBALL shirt and gets so pissed he breaks his pencil, too. That’s one too many pencils broken in under a minutes time if you ask me. Ren says they took a hidden Cap Cam into Tugnut’s gym class and came away with “disturbing footage.” The footage shows him teaching the kids about Hot Zones on the human body to aim for while playing dodgeball and uses a cardboard cutout of a skinny nerd dubbed Target Timmy. He notices the kid in the Cap Cam and says “no hats in class! TAKE IT OFF!” and violently throws a dodgeball at their head. Great teacher, right there.

I’m sure that’s enough to get him fired and banned from teaching ever again???

Louis is walking down the hall and is surprised when each step he takes parts the crowd of kids like Moses. Until, of course, he notices Lenny has been following him. He initially runs away, but Lenny catches up to him at lunch and thanks him for the pencil. Louis says “The pencil! Oh, right. Old Number 2! You’re welcome.” The Old Number 2 comment makes me laugh. That was definitely an ad lib. Louis invites Lenny to eat with him and we see the first glimmer of Lenny the Softie accompanied by sensitive piano. He’s like “YEAH! :D Thanks!” all happy. And it would be a nice gesture, except it marks the arrival of Selfish Louis here. He immediately decides to use Lenny to his advantage. He takes a seat at the 8th Grade lunch table, which is clearly off-limits and decorated like a fancy restaurant in comparison to all the other lowly tables, lol. Twitty comes over and asks Louis if he has a death wish. This is accurate.

When I was in middle school, there was this small stoop in the parking lot where the 8th graders would hang out during recess. If you went anywhere near there they would cuss you out. I was a pretty outgoing kid (I mean, not as brazen as Louis can be, but..) so one day when I was in 6th grade, I purposely got to the stoop before the 8th graders and just stood there. When they eventually came over telling me to leave, I stood my ground and said “This is a slab of cement. I don’t see your names anywhere. I can stand here if I want to.” They eventually gave up and went somewhere else, letting me and my friends hang out there that day! Ayyyyyy! One of my proudest moments. I wonder if I was subconsciously inspired by Louis. Probably, honestly. This show subconsciously shaped my sense of humor growing up and I only realized this when I started getting back into the show in 2011. I digress…

I felt the need to include a picture of the stoop. I literally went on Google Earth to get this! haha. This isn’t the exact stoop at the exact location, but this is exactly what it looks like. Just so you can visualize, lol.

Sure enough, Larry Beale and the big tough 8th Graders come over telling Louis the table is reserved. But, Louis says “Larry, this table is only reserved because you and a few of your unattractive friends say it is.” Burrrrn. I’ma use that next time. Just then, Lenny comes over. Larry is clearly scared and quickly sits at a different table and pretty much does whatever Louis says. So yeah, this is where Louis realizes he can just use Lenny to intimidate everyone and get whatever he wants from this moment forward. Nice!

Ren goes walking into a pitch black gym per Coach Tugnut’s request. He says “you got a problem with dodgeball?!” and claps twice to turn on a spotlight which dramatically reveals him sitting at desk. That’s honestly terrifying considering Tugnut is a grown man and Ren is like.. 14. I’d run out the door. We get one of my favorite lines here, though. Ren asks “I take it you’ve seen my dodgeball exposé?” and Tugnut says: 

(credit)

He tells her that Principal Wexler is holding a referendum on whether to keep or ban dodgeball. But he’s adamant that dodgeball isn’t going anywhere.

Louis notices Lenny sitting on the stairs, visibly upset. Louis goes over to him and Lenny immediately bursts into tears! Louis frantically tries to hide him so his tough image stays intact. Turns out Lenny is crying over a simple poetry assignment that’s due the next day. He says he’s worried that if he doesn’t do well in school he’ll “never graduate and become a p-p-p….” through tears, and Louis tries to guess what profession he was going to say. Asking “Police Man? Private Investigator?! PYTHON TRAINER?!” (I just love the way Shia says it.) But Lenny clarifies that he was going to say pastry chef. Louis ain’t thrilled.

Later that day, Louis and Twitty try to come up with a plan that will help Lenny remain feared. Louis just hopes that Lenny will write a poem that’s dark, mean and hateful. Unfortunately, he writes a poem that’s gentle, sweet and loving. Ren reads it and convinces Lenny to recite it on the Wombat Report to show everyone what a sweet guy he is.

Then, the following scene happens. Which I’m just going to embed instead of describing because I think it’s hilarious.

This paper cut incident helps Louis come up with an idea to stop Lenny from reading his poem.

The dodgeball drama turns into a Ren vs. Larry thing because Larry sides with Coach Tugnut. I’m not complaining about this. Any Ren/Larry interaction is nice because REN AND LARRY SHOULD JUST PUT ASIDE THEIR DIFFERENCES AND DATE! Larry and Tugnut demand equal time on the Wombat Report to debate over dodgeball, which is fair I guess. 

Over the course of ONE NIGHT Louis comes up with a voice activated device to attach to the bottom of Lenny’s chair that will zap him as soon as he starts reading his poem. Louis The Incredibly Gifted Engineer strikes again. 

The plan is to make Lenny go insane, like when he got the paper cut, on live TV. Yeah, that should do it. But before he’s about to go live, Lenny gives Louis a copy of the poem and says he wrote it about him. Louis reads it and asks Twitty “You ever feel the gnawing pains of guilt? You know, the ones that make you feel like a terrible person who doesn’t deserve to live?” Twitty says no and Louis is like, “Yeah, me neither. But this is the closest I’ve ever been” as if he’s a person incapable of feeling remorse or emotion. Not a fan of that choice, tbh.

Either way, he decides to do the right thing and swap the chairs. Lenny successfully reads his poem, which is also hilarious. Here’s the transcript:

“Emotional” by Lenny Cranepool

I wish you could see beyond my size, to the person that lives inside. There is someone who sees the real me... his name is Louis, and you see... He never judged, or laughed or tried to hide, he just treated me like any other guy. I owe a lot to this true friend, I hope our friendship never ends. It really hurts to be left out, if you have any doubt... Try being me for just one day, and I’m sure you’d agree when I say -- That being feared cuts like a knife, but one good friend can change your life.

The entire school is in tears, including Louis and Twitty. We see Larry and freaking PEDRO FROM NAPOLEON DYNAMITE with tears in his eyes (this is his second appearance in the series as a member of Larry’s posse.) He turns to Larry and says “That was so beautiful, man.” And Larry’s just like “Shut up, Omar” which makes me laugh. Larry’s happy though, because Louis just lost his body guard.

“Shut up, Omar.” lol this show has so much meme potential. 

Then they make a sharp turn from crying to the dodgeball debate, which is also funny. Only problem is that Ren is sitting in the rigged chair now. Oops. As soon as she speaks to debate against Larry, she gets zapped and screams at the top of her lungs. She knows Louis did it. She kicks the chair away and quickly shares a seat with Larry instead. They’re so cute. Just like that, Ren changes her position on dodgeball and decides that it can be a “very rewarding experience.” Meaning, she wants to get back at Louis.

I love how they have an American flag displayed. I mean, what’s more American than dodgeball?! 

The last scene is Ren, Larry and Tugnut ganging up against Louis by pelting him with dodgeballs. Ren and Larry are smiley and he says it’s nice to be on the same side for once, which is also cute. They’re just cute and should’ve got together by the end of the series!!!

Anyway, I’m not against Louis getting his but kicked here. He was going to do a pretty mean thing to Lenny for his own personal gain. And, then ended up ruining things and embarrassing Ren in the process. So… Sorry, Lou! I'm not with ya on this one. The episode ends on a freeze frame of Louis about to get hit in the face. The end.

This is a good episode. I used to love it... A LOT. (But again, every episode was my “favorite” at some point.) I guess the fact that it revolves around a one-off character makes it difficult for me to rank it any higher. Although, a good episode is a good episode regardless. But still. Louis’ ugly side made an appearance here, which I hate. So. I love the little Ren/Larry bit at the end, though. I wonder if Eric Ty Hodges was directed to subtly act like he has a secret crush on Ren occasionally, because I get those vibes.

Just a side note I’ve been thinking about: I might be the only person who feels this way.. but… Season 2 is weird for me. I’ve always seen it as the awkward transitional period between gritty Season 1 and über polished zany Season 3. Barring a few super memorable, pretty iconic episodes — Season 2 is just kinda… there. It might have something to do with the fact that Shia looks a little awkward himself. He’s not the young baby faced kid from Season 1 and he’s not the grown teenager we see in Season 3. He’s like.. an actual awkward 7th grader here lol. Also, little known fact! Louis and his friends actually move up to 8th grade in Season 3! It’s widely believed that Louis and Ren are in 7th and 8th grade the entire series. It's even listed as a production fact on Wikipedia! But, nope. There are slight things that confirm this, which I’ll acknowledge when they pop up but yeah. (This means that LJH is one of those rare middle schools that go up to 9th grade, btw) So, that’s definitely something else that contributes to my feelings towards Season 2. For Louis and his friends, in my mind I think...

Season 1: First half of 7th grade.

Season 2: Second half of 7th grade.

Season 3: 8th grade.

Obviously, Ren would be the same except 8th-9th. Also, fun fact #2: Seth Miller, who plays Lenny, was in an episode of Boy Meets World. There are a lot of parallels between the two shows, actually. 

I DIGRESS AGAIN!

Thanks for reading! Share your thoughts belowwww!

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#rank #even stevens #shia labeouf #louis stevens #ren stevens #lenny cranepool #comedy #tv show #review #old disney #disney channel #season 2 #alan twitty #efren ramirez #larry beale #louis plot #ren x larry #louis the engineer

[ihtspirit]

When Physical Activity Extends Beyond PE Class

When Physical Activity Extends Beyond PE Class Originally published Jan. 12, 2020 in The Intelligencer. Children are supposed to get an hour of physical activity a day, but fewer than a quarter of them do. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, classroom-based physical activity can boost their activity levels and is associated with longer attention spans, increased focus and memory and higher academic achievement. https://ihtusa.com https://ihtusa.com/when-physical-activity-extends-beyond-pe-class/ Originally published Jan. 12, 2020 in The Intelligencer. Children are supposed to get an hour of physical activity a day, but fewer than a quarter of them do. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, classroom-based physical activity can boost their activity levels and is associated with longer attention spans, increased focus and memory and higher academic achievement. But practically speaking, how can teachers add physical activity to their already overstuffed agendas? And if they manage to do it, will it actually help their students? West Virginia University researchers Nancy O’Hara Tompkins and Lesley Cottrell launched a project to help answer these questions. Their goal: to increase physical activity in West Virginia classrooms. “Everyone agrees that preventive medicine has value, but it’s a longer investment, and we know behavior change can be difficult,” said Cottrell, an investigator with the West Virginia Prevention Research Center and a professor in the School of Medicine and School of Public Health. “Focusing on kids makes complete sense.”

An ounce of prevention

The project –called Activate! –was part of the CDC award to the West Virginia PRC, one of the 25 PRCs around the nation that the CDC funds. “PRCs partner with communities to conduct research that is meaningful to them and where the research findings can inform sound public health policy and practice,” said West Virginia PRC director Geri Dino. “Our PRC didn’t just come up with the idea for Activate! on our own. It’s something that was important to the communities that we serve. That takes it out of the realm of interesting science and into the realm of interesting science that makes a difference.” As part of Activate!, teachers from 22 fifth-grade classrooms — in 11 West Virginia public schools — received step-by-step instructions for classroom activities designed to encourage movement in their students. Each teacher got a box of supplies for the activities, including Chinese jump ropes, beanbags, playing cards and giant foam dice. After meeting with the researchers to learn more about the activities’ purpose and how to carry them out, the teachers wove them into the fabric of their instructional time. “We divided the activities up by calling them ‘Brain Boosters,’ which were short bursts of physical activity that can be used in transition times, and ‘Integrated Physical Activity,’ where the physical activity is actually integrated into academic content, like math and science and spelling and reading,” said O’Hara Tompkins, a research assistant professor in the School of Public Health and investigator with the West Virginia PRC. “It wasn’t an intervention that was done in physical education class. It was actually focused on the fifth-grade classroom,” she said. “But we did include physical education teachers in the training because they’re the content specialists in physical activity at their schools, and we wanted to build that collaboration.” A Brain Booster might involve crumpling a sheet of paper into a ball and seeing how many times a student could use a book to bounce it in the air without dropping it. During an Integrated Physical Activity, the same student might write a math problem on a slip of paper, put it inside a “sock ball,” toss the ball across the room, retrieve a ball at random and solve the problem inside. Based on a review of the academic literature dealing with students’ physical activity, the researchers tried to anticipate — and address — the hurdles teachers might have to clear in implementing the activities. For example, the activity cards and supplies provided low-cost, easily duplicable resources for teachers in cash-strapped school districts. Because classrooms can be small, the researchers provided tips on safely working in a confined classroom and brainstormed with teachers to modify activities in response to specific space issues.

‘Getting the wiggles out’

During the study, all of the students wore [activity trackers] at intervals that the researchers dictated. So did fifth-grade students at 11 other schools that didn’t implement the intervention. Those students served as a control group. O’Hara Tompkins, Cottrell and their colleagues are still analyzing the data, but once their analysis is complete, they intend to draw a range of conclusions based on the evidence they unearth and share these results with the scientific, public health and lay communities. Did kids who received the school-based intervention rack up more daily steps than kids who didn’t? Did a separate family-based intervention — another component of Activate! — bump up kids’ physical activity level? Was there an association between the type of intervention students received and the grades they earned? Were the school- and family-based interventions cost-effective? “We don’t have the big outcome yet, but we do know–based on preliminary analyses–that teachers in the school intervention significantly increased the amount of time that they incorporated physical activity into their classrooms,” O’Hara Tompkins said. But not everything that counts can be counted, so the researchers are rounding out their quantitative data with qualitative data. They’ve already solicited feedback from the teachers, parents, students and principals involved in developing and executing the project. From the perspective of Christa Good, a fifth grade teacher in Wirt County, the program helped her students retain more of what she was teaching them. She also found that it helped draw out one of her “hard-to-reach” students who didn’t normally participate in class. “I started to notice that whenever we had an Activate! lesson, at first, he was hesitant, but as the school year went on, he started participating in the activities and putting a lot of effort into them,” she said. “After he started really participating, he really became part of the classroom. It was great to watch this happen.” Another teacher — Elisha Nelson from Wood County — emphasized how much the [devices] motivated her students to be more active. “I can tell when my class needs to get the wiggles out,” she said, “so I can pull something from the box and incorporate that into a lesson. I know my students like seeing the data, and they would encourage themselves to move more.” Cottrell explained that promoting physical activity in children is a promising way to prevent health problems — including diabetes and coronary artery disease — that strike adults. It can establish a lasting tendency to move more and sit less. It can inspire kids’ friends and family members to become more active, too. It can slow or stop the accumulation of risk factors for metabolic and cardiovascular conditions, such as obesity and inactivity. The researchers’ findings may influence education policy at the local, regional and state levels — particularly in West Virginia, which ranks at or near the bottom for childhood obesity, childhood poverty and other indicators of children’s wellbeing. “We want to work with partners to change the health of this state,” Dino said. “Enough of being 50th.”

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[zipgrowth]

The 2019 EdSurde Annual Special: Edtech April Fool’s News That Should Stay Fake

Congratulations for making it through the first quarter of 2019! The reward that awaits: Our fine annual tradition of hijinks and horseplay, exaggerations and extrapolations, and all the absurdities not fit for print on any day other than April 1.

We’re not the only ones getting in on the fun. Chegg’s chalked up an excuse-generator to help you weasel out of doing homework, taking tests—just about anything. Duolingo is taking the idea of “push” notifications to a whole new, literal (physical?) level.

Happy April Fool’s. Now, let’s get EdSurde.

WONDERFUL WORLD OF CURRICULUM: Somehow still hungry for more content after acquiring 21st Century Fox, Disney has stooped to gobbling educational publishers to add to its ever-expanding empire Magic Kingdom. As early as Monday morning, students posted photos of word problems asking how many oranges Mickey Mouse has left after Donald Duck absconded with some, and how quickly Spider-Man would meet Homer Simpson if Spidey started swinging from Manhattan at noon and Homer’s Springfield train left the same time going 70 miles per hour.

BACK TO THE FUTURE: Weary of unwanted scrutiny, companies that once described themselves as the “Facebook of education” are now scrambling to disassociate themselves from the beleaguered social network. Public relations firms want to tap into our nostalgic past. Currently up for grabs: Angelfire for Tutors. Geocities for Test Prep. Friendster for Learning. Myspace for Math. (Somewhere, everyone’s-first-friend Tom is smiling.)

HAPPY MEALS, PERSONALIZED: McDonald’s just acquired an AI tech company to personalize the drive-thru experience. Why stop there? Chief Mascot Ronald confided with EdSurge that it is considering integrating that technology with school information systems to tweak Happy Meals based on how well children do in school. Good grades get kids hot nuggets, fries and toys. Being naughty nets a soggy McFlurry.

Coming soon: Naughty Meals

DAZED AND CONFUSED: No idea what personalized learning is? Neither do we! Join us today for the first annual CONFUSION conference featuring vague, stab-in-the-dark definitions and more questions than answers. All attendees are guaranteed to leave with less of an idea of what personalized learning is than when they came. And don’t miss special keynote guest Ashton Kutcher. See you there!

BRAT BOT: Colleges are increasingly turning to chatbots to help students navigate questions around areas such as financial aid or campus events. But some administrators say the tool feels impersonal and, well, robotic. One company is responding with a new approach. Meet Brat Bot, a sassy campus chatbot that isn’t afraid to chastise students for obvious questions. Where’s the dining hall? “Don’t you have Google Maps?” Can I turn the FAFSA in late? “Get real.”

SNEAK PEEK! A stealth San Francisco-based edtech startup offered a glimpse of a “revolutionary” new product. It’s made of organic materials, and lets students move at their own pace. A secret, patented technology reduces eye strain. And it uses the latest in kinesthetic research to get learners engaged physically, through flicks of their fingers and wrists. Did we say it’s also tactile? The company insists it’s not just selling print textbooks.

WHOLE CHILD CUTS: Budget constraints have forced school districts across the country to make difficult cuts to whole-child education programs, leaving many school leaders scrambling to decide which parts are more or less important. Left brain or right brain? The eyes or the ears? The femur or the fingers? For many, the decision may require divine intervention like that in the Judgment of Solomon.

The world’s first whole-child dilemma. (Source: Wikipedia)

HACKED AND HAPPY ABOUT IT: Local authorities investigating the recent data breach in a district’s payroll system announced a breakthrough in the case today. Rather than funneling funds out of teachers’ bank accounts, as was initially suspected, the hackers appear to have deposited $314,159 in the accounts of each math teacher on the payroll. The sum is consistent with the first six digits of π (Pi). Authorities have closed the investigation, and a source close to the math department says the teachers are being simply “irrational” about the number.

AUGMENTED ANGUISH: Augmented reality (AR) has been lauded for its ability to enhance students’ learning experiences. But what can it do for teachers? Don a Wistful Thinking headset and take a walk around the classroom, and you’ll see all sorts of digital delights superimposed on your environment. Brand new iPad Pros on every desk, classroom supplies you didn’t have to pay for, and a thicker paycheck (that didn’t require a week-long strike) are just some of the sensory features offered in this new AR headset. Side effects, the manufacturer warns, include dejection and depression once the headset is removed.

LIFELONG LABORING: If learning shouldn’t stop at age 25, or 65, or ever, why should work? That’s the argument put forth in a new paper which posits that the future of work … will forever be more work. Learning and laboring should extend beyond life as well, it argues. Developments on the horizon include the ability for cryogenically frozen humans to absorb knowledge through “learning fluids,” and a way to convert dead tissues into renewable energy drinks to help your fellow humans work harder.

The future of life and lifelong learning

A NEW DEAL: Sen. Kamala Harris’s bold plan to boost the average American teacher’s salary by $13,500 has hit a snag around funding issues. Among her ideas for Plan B: give every school district an iPad for each student. A senior official at Los Angeles Unified School District has already issued a statement: “Wait. Not this again.”

BECAUSE WE NEED MORE LETTERS: First there was STEM. Then someone decided that science, technology, engineering and math were not enough, and so added an ‘A’ for arts to make STEAM. Still unsatisfied, someone else demanded an ‘R,’ giving us STREAM education: science, technology, reading, engineering, arts and math. (Hey people, that’s called school.)

UNBUNDLING THE ALUMNI NETWORK: Mark Zuckerberg famously dropped out of Harvard, but he clearly benefited from people he met during his brief time there. (His roommate was an early employee). So why not make dropping out of college the plan? A new startup, DegreeLite provides an online network for those who have done a year or two at a highly-selective school but didn’t bother finishing. Members trade opportunities, connections and job listings for a hefty membership fee of $4,000 per year. As the company’s founder said in a statement, “These days, networks matter more than degrees, so why not focus on the networking?”

MALL OF ACADEMIA: With the retail sector increasingly under stress and colleges looking to cut costs, higher education may soon become the new anchor of your local shopping mall. Plans are underway to convert Westfields and similar complexes into classrooms and faculty offices, which college officials say come at cut rates compared with their stone buildings on leafy quads. Turf wars are already brewing between departments over who gets to take over the former Brookstone. No one’s itching for the Abercrombie & Fitch space, due to the lingering cologne smell.

Site of your future Biology 101 class. The 2019 EdSurde Annual Special: Edtech April Fool’s News That Should Stay Fake published first on https://medium.com/@GetNewDLBusiness

[theliterateape]

Harmless Experiment — A Terrible Serial Killer

by Erik Lewin

My mother had a great sense of humor. She appreciated funny movies, and she knew I loved them too. We’d go to the local theater sometimes. We didn’t have a lot of dough, my dad was an entrepreneur surviving week-to-week, but he still managed to buy my mom a sandy beige sports car. I think he knew what a pain in the ass he was to live with—that’s another story—so this was his tiny way of making amends.

My mom was a beauty. This was not my biased estimation, it was objective fact. She came from Israel as a little girl and her complexion was imbued with that light, dark sweetness. Her brown hair was long and very soft. She had high cheekbones too, so between all these traits, nobody could ever figure out where she was from. A true exotic. Most strikingly, her eyes were never accusing or threatening. They were innocent. Very smart too, and aware, which made their innocent quality all the more impressive. She chose to see the good in all things.

I have always had a thing for Chevy Chase movies. The weekend Spies Like Us opened, the one where he plays alongside Dan Aykroyd, was an absolute must see. The commercials looked hilarious and captivated my attention. I’d lay on the Berber carpet in our living room, propped up on two giant Persian pillows, and slide my little fingers over the channel switches on the black box remote. I kept clicking the different channels all day to catch another glimpse of the commercial with the Spies Like Us trailer. Naturally I was begging my mom to go to the theater, and it was an easy sell because she was into it too.

We jumped into the hot new car. My mom lit a cigarette, turned on the radio station WPLJ that played rock tunes–Bon Jovi’s Livin On a Prayer was released recently and came on–and we sang along to its rousing chorus. I rubbed my feet on the plush mat and didn’t even mind the cigarette smoke too much. When we got to the theater we discovered we weren’t the only ones excited about the movie–it sold out right after we got our tickets. They overbooked it, all the seats were taken, but we just sat on the floor in the back. We left in absolute stitches, joking about how we were about to pee ourselves during so many hilarious scenes in the movie.

Then I broke this piece of news to her: that I would need to purchase ten lab mice for a science fair experiment I was assigned to do with my friend, Sam. She groaned for a couple reasons–Sam and I couldn’t seem to stay out of trouble together–and mice? I assured her that Sam would actually give the mice, who were our test subjects and needed to be watched carefully–room and board at his parents’ house. I simply had to give him cash for the purchase, and after a little hesitation, mom forked it over for the mice, food and a cage.

Sam was one of my closest little buddies. We were kind of allies as inmates in a religious day school. We cracked jokes during daily services and passed notes during all our classes. The last time I slept over his place, we tossed huge water balloons at oncoming cars. We scored a direct hit on one Buick, the water splashing across the windshield, damn near causing the driver to crash right into a tree. He chased us back to Sam’s house. His mother caught us making this fast escape, and we giggled while the man barked that his life was almost cut short by a couple dumb kids.

We were also pretty poor students. In my case, I was severely challenged in math and science. It didn’t interest me, other than whether Lysol spray could actually make a fart catch fire. We had this total hot, bitchy lady for a science teacher. She was short with her students, always admonishing us to hand in our outstanding assignments.

The big thing was the science fair. It was a major part of the year’s grade, but more than that, it required an idea, a scientific experiment of some sort to actually do and then present to the school. You were allowed a partner. Sam and I teamed up and one day we hung around his place with his stepfather, Rick, who was in construction. We came up with this idea we thought would be so cool – Rick could help us build a maze out of wood and we could run mice through it. As stupid as that sounds, we took it to another level when we added the necessary ‘scientific experiment’ twist–we would split lab mice into two groups. One group would subsist on their usual diet, while we’d ply the other with drugs, then set both loose to see which performed better. In other words, how would a massive, continual injection of sugar affect the animals’ ability to negotiate the maze. The other test group would be cared for in the ‘normal’ fashion, as in, not torturing and slowly killing them. It was a fantastically idiotic idea that we set to work on with great relish. Rick helped us with the materials and the building of the maze, and we agreed that Sam would house them.

This plan worked… for a while. I’d go to Sam’s to work on our plan that violated every letter of the animal cruelty law. We named each mouse after a part of the name of our hero, New York Yankee Don Mattingly, whose name is forever tarnished. We gassed up half the mice with a dropper full of liquid sugar and got them crazy wired. We had to constantly adjust the dosage because at first, they were too overloaded and were climbing the walls of the maze, not trying to run through it. Meanwhile, the well-nourished group was struggling to escape, but were coming quite close. Turns out a diet of food and water is quite conducive to optimum performance.

All of this was working, actually–we recorded our observations in a notebook by each individual mouse and monitored their progress. It looked like we’d be okay. Then I got a phone call from Sam that his family had to go out of town for the weekend, unexpectedly, and asked if I could take the mice and keep them at my place.

I knew my mom wouldn’t be too thrilled but hey, it was for school, and they’d just be in the cage. I took the mice off Sam’s hands and left them in my room so my parents wouldn’t be reminded they now ran a rodent rescue. After I came back from school, it was time to avoid doing any homework, and go shoot some hoops in the playground. Sam called to check in and I assured him the mice were all fine, feeding away and rustling around in the cage. They were my test subjects and while I wouldn’t exactly call them cute, I was impressed with myself for having a real experiment in progress. I’d even begun to grow fond of the little guys.

When I came back from the playground, sweaty and hungry, I ducked into my room and undressed for the shower. It was eerily quiet. No rustling. The cage was empty! Nerves prickled my neck and arms. Holy shit… holy shit, I kept repeating in my puberty addled brain, investigating the cage for any magician’s trap door they may have slipped into, just having a little fun with Erik, when the cat’s away the mice will play, right?

They weren’t under the bed. They weren’t making a sound. Where the hell had seven lab mice gone? Then I heard bumping noises behind my dresser, which was long and wide and pushed up against the wall. I stuck my head in the crack and saw a couple of those suckers running back and forth along its length. We had trained them well. Then I heard the radiator clang. I got down on all fours and craned my neck under the bottom of the it, and sure enough, there was a hole in the wall! How many of our prize mice had made a daring POW escape to my neighbo’s apartment? It then occurred to me that the door to my room was open the whole time I’d been at the playground. The rest of them must be loose everywhere—

There were no options. I had to bring my mother into this. Better she know now, than to open a cupboard in the kitchen and have a mouse fly out of it. 

         “Uh, mom, you’re not gonna like this.”

         “You playing ball before homework? Not really. Get in the shower and get ready for dinner. No games, phone or TV. Do your homework.” She was busy in the dinette, with bills and papers spread out in piles under the warm yellow light. She dragged from a smoke and waved me away. 

         “But mom, you don’t understand.”

         “I understand fully well, young man, you weren’t suppo—”

         A tiny face with whiskers stuck its head out from under her papers.

         “Ahhhhhh!!!” She leapt from the chair.

         The little guy squeaked and ran around the table.

         “That’s what I was trying to tell you!” I laughed. “They’re out! They got outta the cage in a wild bid for freedom!” 

         “We have to catch them before your father comes home,” she said, the anger leaving her eyes in favor of its usual softness. She smiled. “Were there other sightings?”

         “My bedroom–the scene of the crime–I’ll show you.”

 After my mom surveyed the challenge facing us behind the dresser, and the hole in the radiator, she said: “We can’t have these guys getting a free ride, staying here like this and not paying any rent.” We giggled. “As far as the hole in the radiator, I think Mrs. Silvestry will finally have some of the company she’s always wanted.”

         “You’re not worried about the mice spreading around the building?” I asked.

         “What mice?” My mom said, crossing her arms. “Get dressed, we need to go to the pet store.”

 I threw my dirty clothes back on and we jumped in the car. We were at a pet shop next to my mom’s bank in five minutes flat. She instructed me to go in and procure traps–it was my mess and I needed to figure out how to clean it up.

         “What if we can’t round them all up? Should I get new mice?”

         “Not if you still want to live here.”

         “Ok, I’m going.” What the hell was Sam gonna say when I told him about the great escape?

         “Welcome to Pet land,” I heard when I walked in. I’d never had so much as a hamster, so this animal kingdom was totally foreign to me. Huge fish tanks, colorful birds squawking, reptiles, and the strange intermingled smells of different creatures surrounded me. I went to the front counter where the man had greeted me. He was in his late teens, mullet haircut, flannel cutoff at the arms, thin scruff under his chin. He had a look in his eyes like he could tell you exactly what it said when you played Ozzy Osbourne records backwards.

         “I need help. I’ve got a bunch of lab mice loose in my house.”

         “Alright, gotcha. So you need traps. Aisle three.”

         “Maybe you could… uh, do the traps keep them alive and unharmed? How does it work, I’ve never hunted an animal before.”

He spit out hubba bubba gum into his hand and tossed it in the trash.

         “You running a shelter? You set the traps and that’s that, they’re in there. Can’t get out. Our bestseller is the glue trap, they won’t get outta that, trust me. I’ll show you, this way.”

I was mortified. Back in the car I showed my mom the pile of glue traps we now had at our disposal. She nodded approvingly. We went back into my room and the kitchen and living room and set up all the traps like we were on some kind of commando mission. Apparently there was a substance on the surface of the glue that attracted the poor buggers to the trap. The good news was the traps worked. That was also the bad news because the actual glue doesn’t poison the mouse, but simply holds it in place while it thrashes about in a futile effort to free itself.

         “Your father will be home soon. You have to take care of it.”

         “How?”

         “Consider this part of the experiment.”

And so I went about the grim business of being the hatchet man for these mice. My sugar riddled mice, whom I’d actually grown fond of, were now in the hands of a monster. Because when each guy was on the glue trap, looking at me with its furtive, desperate eyes, I slid him down an incinerator shoot.

         “Mom, the good news is I’d make an awful serial killer,” I said, tears wetting my cheeks.

         “My poor baby,” she said, hugging me. “And you’ll never be a scientist. But, with these kinds of misadventures, you’ll tell some good stories, just like in our funny movies.”

BUY the BOOK

#Spies Like Us #mom #Science Fair #mice

[samanthasroberts]

I Teach At A For-Profit College: 5 Ridiculous Realities

For-profit colleges, aka colleges that operate for a profit, aka the only schools that buy pop-up ads, are a $30 billion industry, with millions of students nationwide. But much like that guy in high school with the bitchin’ mullet and radical IROC, just because they’re popular doesn’t mean they have the best reputation. We wanted to know how accurate that rep really is, so we sat down with “Stephen,” a former professor at one such college in Ohio. He told us …

5

There Is Zero Teaching Experience Required To Be A “Professor”

andresrimaging/iStock/Getty Images

Most teachers come equipped with a boxful of degrees, permits, certifications, and other fancy framed papers to confirm they’re trained educators and not, say, urine-soaked knife-wielding hobos. Not so with Steve’s school: “At my campus, I’d say that nine out of every ten professors don’t have an educational background.”

AndreyPopov/iStock/Getty Images “Hey Dave, drop what you’re doing. We need someone for Marketing 401.”

He was sure to point out that sometimes this led to great teachers, like the former hotel manager who became a professor of Hospitality Management: “He was honest about complaints, nipping lice infestations in the bud, and tons of other terrible things normal HM classes barely cover.” But that’s not a universal truth.

“Like, they may be an accountant during the day, but they moonlight teaching that at schools like mine … those teachers could be really good … But most had no idea how to teach. I sat in on a class going through economics, and … the ‘professor’s’ laptop gave the blue screen of death. He was a nice guy in his late 20s, and he immediately panicked.” Since the students were paying dearly for that professor’s time, they kept right on asking questions, like “What’s the difference between macro and micro economics?” Steve recalled, “He had a deer in the headlights look and he froze for 15 seconds. Finally, he said ‘Macro is big economies and Micro is individual economies. Like Bill Gates’ economy.’”

kasto80/iStock/Getty Images “Hold on, Wikipedia’s gone down.”

Those of you who know a little bit about economics might recognize that as complete fucking gibberish. Eventually, Steve and another teacher listening in had to call him out on his bullshit and give the class some proper answers, but, “When we gave the right definitions and answers to everything, he defended his answers as being correct. He was fired the next day.”

Jonathan Ross/Hemera/Getty Images Those who teach, can’t.

Once he’d started telling shitty teacher stories, Steve couldn’t stop. He told us about an accounting teacher in his 70s who told students “any math you couldn’t do by hand wasn’t worth teaching.” Another particularly enterprising educator gave out a two-week assignment to “have his students do his and his family’s taxes, giving bonus points to the ones who had found the way to have them owe the least.” Steve added, “He lasted three semesters.”

4

They Target Poor Minority Students And Con Them Into Taking Loans

Jacob Ammentorp Lund/iStock/Getty Images

For-profit colleges promise students who didn’t do well in high school a chance at a real college degree for far less than fancy university prices. And since everyone gets in, your past doesn’t matter. ITT Tech will take any breathing human being who applies. It’s like the Little League of higher education, minus the Capri Sun at the end of every session.

These colleges sell themselves as a “way out” of poverty and desperation to people who are poor and directionless. Ninety-six percent of ALL for-profit students take out loans, compared to 57 percent of those at normal public college. And while the average college student only has an 8 percent chance of defaulting on their loan in the first few years, for-profit students have a 25 percent chance.

It should come as no surprise that investigations have shown that many for-profits do in fact target low-income people who can’t pay. These people are often minorities. One investigation turned up the training manual for recruiters at the for-profit college Vatterott, including a list of ideal types of people to recruit:

Leadership Conference on Human Rights – Has To Use Library’s Internet To Fill Out Application – Thought They Saw A Ghost One Time – Can’t Find Phoenix On A Map

Steve noticed the same thing at his school: “Most of my students made minimum wage, and over half were black. Every one of my students had a loan, and it’s all they ever talked about. Some felt strong-armed into them, but some wanted them. They lived off of them. They wanted the loans as another source of income because they couldn’t make ends meet with their regular jobs. They took a few classes to keep up appearances, but I would always know why they were really there. Every college has these students, but at my college, I had several in every class I taught. I never knew what happened to them after the semester and they were 20 or 40 grand in debt. Many struggled to make ends meet, and the college offered an easy way to get loans. What did you think was going to happen?”

AndreyPopov/iStock/Getty Images “Thanks for the mortgage payment.”

For-profit universities vastly prefer loans — and the long-term, interest-bearing income they generate — to straight cash payments. So much so that they often don’t take cash: “One student in particular told me that she had $20,000 from an inheritance in cash, but ran into roadblocks everywhere. My college wouldn’t accept cash, so she tried a check. They told her they couldn’t, since they had too many issues with bounced checks. She then tried paying online in full, but she was told she shouldn’t because ‘What if you decide to drop a class? Would you still want to pay for it?’ She then tried monthly payments, but she was informed she was too late to sign up. She could only take a loan.”

Digital Vision./DigitalVision/Getty It’s usually a red flag when a business won’t let you purchase their one product.

Schools like the University of Phoenix depend on student loans to survive. In fact, the latter actively instructs their “Phoenixes” to borrow the max amount. And how could that possibly backfire? For-profit universities are one of the major causes of the current student loan debt crisis. So if you’re a New Yorker who had your daily commute fucked up by Occupy Wall Street, you can blame like half of that on the Participation Trophy of colleges.

3

They Cost More To Attend Than Conventional Universities

moodboard/moodboard/Getty Images

For-profit colleges advertise themselves as much more affordable than traditional universities. According to the ads, a for-profit college is the Costco of higher education: great quality without any unnecessary frills, for the budget-conscious consumer.

“‘Scholarship?’ It’s just a discount.”

Why, you save so much money on these programs that it’d be almost insane to get your degree anywhere else.

“Our scam is cheaper than their scam!”

Surprise! That’s all crap. These schools are filled with more hidden fees than a bank run by ninjas. Here’s Steve: “A close family member was deciding on a cheap starter college. She was looking at my college and Cincinnati State. Honestly, I just started at my school and I didn’t know what the full cost was. I asked and got a quote for $9,000 a semester … When I gave her the written quote, she looked right back up and said, ‘I could get a degree from Cincinnati State for that much.’ I was floored.”

Two years at a community college costs, on average, $8,300. Four years at a state college? $52,000. But at a for-profit, that Associate’s Degree is now $35,000. The Bachelors? $63,000. It’s like deciding to eat out at Olive Garden instead of that fancy French restaurant, only to discover that the bread sticks are the price of a used Toyota.

bhofack2/iStock/Getty Images “Considering they are unlimited, you can’t afford not to.”

Steve explained: “All normal colleges show how much a semester is, or give a price by class. At ours, they made it look cheap by giving price for each credit hour. [Note: They still do.] So many of my students were suckered in this way. They saw the $550 cost per hour … and they assumed that meant $550 per credit.”

Oops! Silly desperate students seeking to better their lives. You assumed “for-profit college” meant something besides “a shell game in which you gamble your paycheck for decades to come.”

Michael Blann/DigitalVision/Getty As least Vegas gives you drink and food comps when you do it.

2

A Degree All But Guarantees You WON’T Get A Job

rilueda/iStock/Getty Images

All for-profit colleges essentially promise you your dream job, falling just short of issuing IOUs for personal oral sex bots upon graduation. The word of the day, kids, is “bullshit.” It was revealed last year that the $75,000 three-year criminal justice degree offered by Westwood College comes with a 3.8 percent job placement rate. And most of those “jobs” are as some sort of security guard, aka the job literally any breathing human can get.

A school like the recently shut down Heald College, or DeVry, can famously claim 90-percent-plus job placement rates, which sounds super impressive … if you don’t know that the FTC is currently suing them for classifying a business major getting hired as a waiter to be an “in-field” placement. Or counting a job at Taco Bell as successful placement. Steve gave a shit about his students and did his best to prepare them for careers as accountants, “but most didn’t become accountants. We had to go off of curriculum, and while many of us got through that as fast as we could with our students to tell them what they really needed to know, we often didn’t have time.”

Rawpixel Ltd/iStock/Getty Images “Welcome to Money Management 101. Lesson 1: You shouldn’t have taken this class.”

Steve explained how his college practically went out of its way to make their courses useless: “Normal colleges give you a mix of course work, field work, and other assignments, slowly making it more and more real world. Once you get the basics, you learn the programs, you see what employers want, and you expand your knowledge. For-profits are like standardized tests. You get the basics, but almost none of it can be applied once in the real world.”

Pinkypills/iStock/Getty Images “And that about covers the basics of being a barista.”

The evidence shows that graduates from for-profits make less and are less happy about their prospects than those from larger colleges. This jives with Steve’s experiences: “I’ve met several graduates, and nearly all didn’t get the jobs they wanted. A few thought they were going to be teachers in a few years, and I found them working as subs. One student who said he wanted to run a hotel I met by chance at a hotel in Columbus, where he was only a part-time assistant manager at a Microtel [and] taking classes for ANOTHER degree at the University of Phoenix at night.”

BananaStock/BananaStock/Getty Images “Unfortunately, two fake degrees cannot combine like Megazord into one real degree.”

So uh … clearly, that guy doesn’t learn lessons easily.

The conventional logic is that any degree is better than no degree. But that may not be true with for-profit colleges. A Harvard study found that such students are 22 percent less likely to get a callback from a job than an otherwise-identical resume that named a public university. And it’s even worse with an online degree. Even if these students do find work, high school dropouts tend to earn more than for-profit degreers in the same field.

1

For-Profit Colleges Are In Big Trouble

Albert Herring/Wiki Commons

Over the last year or so, the hammer has started coming down on for-profit schools. Steve explained: “Obama had been threatening for years to do something about for-profit colleges, but no one believed he would go through with it. In early 2015, it was apparent he was trying to do something, and we got emails everyday. Most were telling us not to worry, but we also had emails that said ‘We’re as strong as ever!’ I worked there for three years, and the only emails they had sent me was pay stub receipts, password expiration reminders, and the odd departmental email … these emails really showed how worried they were.”

Devonyu/iStock/Getty Images They were a step away from emails asking their employees, “Are you a cop? If we ask, you have to tell us if you are.”

This finally prompted Steve to make a career change of his own. He found another job and gave his resignation to his department head, who “begged me to stay. He didn’t try to flatter me or say how much they needed me or anything you would expect to hear. It was, ‘I know you’re worried about this Obama law (I wasn’t), and we’re worried too, but it will all be OK.’ Everyone was acting like the apocalypse was coming.”

And what terrifying new law change had everybody soiling their chinos? To quote CNN:

“The new set of rules, called the gainful employment regulations, require colleges to track their graduates’ debt and employment to prove that their programs don’t fall short of federal guidelines. Institutions now have to provide information on program costs, how much students earn after they graduate and how much debt they could accumulate.”

Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images “We’re moving forward on a new controversial anti-lying law.”

The new law also set limits on how much the schools could charge for loan payments (no more than 20 percent of a student’s income). Despite how reasonable those restrictions sound, it was essentially the apocalypse for educational conmen. Roughly 1,400 programs serving 840,000 students were estimated to fall below those minimal standards. The University of Phoenix lost half its students. DeVry is currently being sued by the FTC for false advertising.

Steve was not bummed out at all by this. He still feels some guilt for being involved in the whole thing to start with: “One student I had told me that he knew he was being had. I started to say he wasn’t, but he told me to shut up. He told me he went $25,000 into debt for a degree no one took seriously. He had a family, and I got the sense he was doing this for them … He told me to go fuck myself and proceeded to tell a few other professors too. We never saw him again after that. I’m hoping, really hoping, that the new laws will make degrees for people like him from for-profits actually worth it.”

Kondor83/iStock/Getty Images “Congrats on getting hired! Here’s your desk.”

We hope so too, for the students’ sake, but we can’t imagine a future in which a prospective employer looks at your resume and says, “Whoa, University of Phoenix, huh? Don’t you think you might be overqualified?” Well, not with a straight face, anyway.

If you were misled by a for-profit college, please protect other students by letting the authorities know. If you decided to attend a school because of a misleading ad or deceptive recruiting, contact the Federal Trade Commission.

If you took out a private loan (not including federal student loans) to finance your education, you can also complain to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

If you are a veteran or service member who was deceived by a college, and you used the GI Bill or other VA programs to fund your education, please report it to the Department of Veterans Affairs’ new complaint system. The folks at Veterans Education Success would also like to hear from you, and can connect you with pro-bono attorneys, state and federal law enforcement agencies, and generally advocate on your behalf to the VA.

Evan V. Symon is an interviewer, writer, and interview-finder guy for the personal experience team at Cracked. Have an awesome experience/job you would like to share? Hit us up at [email protected] today!

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from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/02/17/i-teach-at-a-for-profit-college-5-ridiculous-realities/

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I Teach At A For-Profit College: 5 Ridiculous Realities

For-profit colleges, aka colleges that operate for a profit, aka the only schools that buy pop-up ads, are a $30 billion industry, with millions of students nationwide. But much like that guy in high school with the bitchin’ mullet and radical IROC, just because they’re popular doesn’t mean they have the best reputation. We wanted to know how accurate that rep really is, so we sat down with “Stephen,” a former professor at one such college in Ohio. He told us …

5

There Is Zero Teaching Experience Required To Be A “Professor”

andresrimaging/iStock/Getty Images

Most teachers come equipped with a boxful of degrees, permits, certifications, and other fancy framed papers to confirm they’re trained educators and not, say, urine-soaked knife-wielding hobos. Not so with Steve’s school: “At my campus, I’d say that nine out of every ten professors don’t have an educational background.”

AndreyPopov/iStock/Getty Images “Hey Dave, drop what you’re doing. We need someone for Marketing 401.”

He was sure to point out that sometimes this led to great teachers, like the former hotel manager who became a professor of Hospitality Management: “He was honest about complaints, nipping lice infestations in the bud, and tons of other terrible things normal HM classes barely cover.” But that’s not a universal truth.

“Like, they may be an accountant during the day, but they moonlight teaching that at schools like mine … those teachers could be really good … But most had no idea how to teach. I sat in on a class going through economics, and … the ‘professor’s’ laptop gave the blue screen of death. He was a nice guy in his late 20s, and he immediately panicked.” Since the students were paying dearly for that professor’s time, they kept right on asking questions, like “What’s the difference between macro and micro economics?” Steve recalled, “He had a deer in the headlights look and he froze for 15 seconds. Finally, he said ‘Macro is big economies and Micro is individual economies. Like Bill Gates’ economy.‘”

kasto80/iStock/Getty Images “Hold on, Wikipedia’s gone down.”

Those of you who know a little bit about economics might recognize that as complete fucking gibberish. Eventually, Steve and another teacher listening in had to call him out on his bullshit and give the class some proper answers, but, “When we gave the right definitions and answers to everything, he defended his answers as being correct. He was fired the next day.”

Jonathan Ross/Hemera/Getty Images Those who teach, can’t.

Once he’d started telling shitty teacher stories, Steve couldn’t stop. He told us about an accounting teacher in his 70s who told students “any math you couldn’t do by hand wasn’t worth teaching.” Another particularly enterprising educator gave out a two-week assignment to “have his students do his and his family’s taxes, giving bonus points to the ones who had found the way to have them owe the least.” Steve added, “He lasted three semesters.”

4

They Target Poor Minority Students And Con Them Into Taking Loans

Jacob Ammentorp Lund/iStock/Getty Images

For-profit colleges promise students who didn’t do well in high school a chance at a real college degree for far less than fancy university prices. And since everyone gets in, your past doesn’t matter. ITT Tech will take any breathing human being who applies. It’s like the Little League of higher education, minus the Capri Sun at the end of every session.

These colleges sell themselves as a “way out” of poverty and desperation to people who are poor and directionless. Ninety-six percent of ALL for-profit students take out loans, compared to 57 percent of those at normal public college. And while the average college student only has an 8 percent chance of defaulting on their loan in the first few years, for-profit students have a 25 percent chance.

It should come as no surprise that investigations have shown that many for-profits do in fact target low-income people who can’t pay. These people are often minorities. One investigation turned up the training manual for recruiters at the for-profit college Vatterott, including a list of ideal types of people to recruit:

Leadership Conference on Human Rights – Has To Use Library’s Internet To Fill Out Application – Thought They Saw A Ghost One Time – Can’t Find Phoenix On A Map

Steve noticed the same thing at his school: “Most of my students made minimum wage, and over half were black. Every one of my students had a loan, and it’s all they ever talked about. Some felt strong-armed into them, but some wanted them. They lived off of them. They wanted the loans as another source of income because they couldn’t make ends meet with their regular jobs. They took a few classes to keep up appearances, but I would always know why they were really there. Every college has these students, but at my college, I had several in every class I taught. I never knew what happened to them after the semester and they were 20 or 40 grand in debt. Many struggled to make ends meet, and the college offered an easy way to get loans. What did you think was going to happen?”

AndreyPopov/iStock/Getty Images “Thanks for the mortgage payment.”

For-profit universities vastly prefer loans — and the long-term, interest-bearing income they generate — to straight cash payments. So much so that they often don’t take cash: “One student in particular told me that she had $20,000 from an inheritance in cash, but ran into roadblocks everywhere. My college wouldn’t accept cash, so she tried a check. They told her they couldn’t, since they had too many issues with bounced checks. She then tried paying online in full, but she was told she shouldn’t because ‘What if you decide to drop a class? Would you still want to pay for it?’ She then tried monthly payments, but she was informed she was too late to sign up. She could only take a loan.”

Digital Vision./DigitalVision/Getty It’s usually a red flag when a business won’t let you purchase their one product.

Schools like the University of Phoenix depend on student loans to survive. In fact, the latter actively instructs their “Phoenixes” to borrow the max amount. And how could that possibly backfire? For-profit universities are one of the major causes of the current student loan debt crisis. So if you’re a New Yorker who had your daily commute fucked up by Occupy Wall Street, you can blame like half of that on the Participation Trophy of colleges.

3

They Cost More To Attend Than Conventional Universities

moodboard/moodboard/Getty Images

For-profit colleges advertise themselves as much more affordable than traditional universities. According to the ads, a for-profit college is the Costco of higher education: great quality without any unnecessary frills, for the budget-conscious consumer.

“‘Scholarship?’ It’s just a discount.”

Why, you save so much money on these programs that it’d be almost insane to get your degree anywhere else.

“Our scam is cheaper than their scam!”

Surprise! That’s all crap. These schools are filled with more hidden fees than a bank run by ninjas. Here’s Steve: “A close family member was deciding on a cheap starter college. She was looking at my college and Cincinnati State. Honestly, I just started at my school and I didn’t know what the full cost was. I asked and got a quote for $9,000 a semester … When I gave her the written quote, she looked right back up and said, ‘I could get a degree from Cincinnati State for that much.’ I was floored.”

Two years at a community college costs, on average, $8,300. Four years at a state college? $52,000. But at a for-profit, that Associate’s Degree is now $35,000. The Bachelors? $63,000. It’s like deciding to eat out at Olive Garden instead of that fancy French restaurant, only to discover that the bread sticks are the price of a used Toyota.

bhofack2/iStock/Getty Images “Considering they are unlimited, you can’t afford not to.”

Steve explained: “All normal colleges show how much a semester is, or give a price by class. At ours, they made it look cheap by giving price for each credit hour. [Note: They still do.] So many of my students were suckered in this way. They saw the $550 cost per hour … and they assumed that meant $550 per credit.”

Oops! Silly desperate students seeking to better their lives. You assumed “for-profit college” meant something besides “a shell game in which you gamble your paycheck for decades to come.”

Michael Blann/DigitalVision/Getty As least Vegas gives you drink and food comps when you do it.

2

A Degree All But Guarantees You WON’T Get A Job

rilueda/iStock/Getty Images

All for-profit colleges essentially promise you your dream job, falling just short of issuing IOUs for personal oral sex bots upon graduation. The word of the day, kids, is “bullshit.” It was revealed last year that the $75,000 three-year criminal justice degree offered by Westwood College comes with a 3.8 percent job placement rate. And most of those “jobs” are as some sort of security guard, aka the job literally any breathing human can get.

A school like the recently shut down Heald College, or DeVry, can famously claim 90-percent-plus job placement rates, which sounds super impressive … if you don’t know that the FTC is currently suing them for classifying a business major getting hired as a waiter to be an “in-field” placement. Or counting a job at Taco Bell as successful placement. Steve gave a shit about his students and did his best to prepare them for careers as accountants, “but most didn’t become accountants. We had to go off of curriculum, and while many of us got through that as fast as we could with our students to tell them what they really needed to know, we often didn’t have time.”

Rawpixel Ltd/iStock/Getty Images “Welcome to Money Management 101. Lesson 1: You shouldn’t have taken this class.”

Steve explained how his college practically went out of its way to make their courses useless: “Normal colleges give you a mix of course work, field work, and other assignments, slowly making it more and more real world. Once you get the basics, you learn the programs, you see what employers want, and you expand your knowledge. For-profits are like standardized tests. You get the basics, but almost none of it can be applied once in the real world.”

Pinkypills/iStock/Getty Images “And that about covers the basics of being a barista.”

The evidence shows that graduates from for-profits make less and are less happy about their prospects than those from larger colleges. This jives with Steve’s experiences: “I’ve met several graduates, and nearly all didn’t get the jobs they wanted. A few thought they were going to be teachers in a few years, and I found them working as subs. One student who said he wanted to run a hotel I met by chance at a hotel in Columbus, where he was only a part-time assistant manager at a Microtel [and] taking classes for ANOTHER degree at the University of Phoenix at night.”

BananaStock/BananaStock/Getty Images “Unfortunately, two fake degrees cannot combine like Megazord into one real degree.”

So uh … clearly, that guy doesn’t learn lessons easily.

The conventional logic is that any degree is better than no degree. But that may not be true with for-profit colleges. A Harvard study found that such students are 22 percent less likely to get a callback from a job than an otherwise-identical resume that named a public university. And it’s even worse with an online degree. Even if these students do find work, high school dropouts tend to earn more than for-profit degreers in the same field.

1

For-Profit Colleges Are In Big Trouble

Albert Herring/Wiki Commons

Over the last year or so, the hammer has started coming down on for-profit schools. Steve explained: “Obama had been threatening for years to do something about for-profit colleges, but no one believed he would go through with it. In early 2015, it was apparent he was trying to do something, and we got emails everyday. Most were telling us not to worry, but we also had emails that said ‘We’re as strong as ever!’ I worked there for three years, and the only emails they had sent me was pay stub receipts, password expiration reminders, and the odd departmental email … these emails really showed how worried they were.”

Devonyu/iStock/Getty Images They were a step away from emails asking their employees, “Are you a cop? If we ask, you have to tell us if you are.”

This finally prompted Steve to make a career change of his own. He found another job and gave his resignation to his department head, who “begged me to stay. He didn’t try to flatter me or say how much they needed me or anything you would expect to hear. It was, ‘I know you’re worried about this Obama law (I wasn’t), and we’re worried too, but it will all be OK.’ Everyone was acting like the apocalypse was coming.”

And what terrifying new law change had everybody soiling their chinos? To quote CNN:

“The new set of rules, called the gainful employment regulations, require colleges to track their graduates’ debt and employment to prove that their programs don’t fall short of federal guidelines. Institutions now have to provide information on program costs, how much students earn after they graduate and how much debt they could accumulate.”

Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images “We’re moving forward on a new controversial anti-lying law.”

The new law also set limits on how much the schools could charge for loan payments (no more than 20 percent of a student’s income). Despite how reasonable those restrictions sound, it was essentially the apocalypse for educational conmen. Roughly 1,400 programs serving 840,000 students were estimated to fall below those minimal standards. The University of Phoenix lost half its students. DeVry is currently being sued by the FTC for false advertising.

Steve was not bummed out at all by this. He still feels some guilt for being involved in the whole thing to start with: “One student I had told me that he knew he was being had. I started to say he wasn’t, but he told me to shut up. He told me he went $25,000 into debt for a degree no one took seriously. He had a family, and I got the sense he was doing this for them … He told me to go fuck myself and proceeded to tell a few other professors too. We never saw him again after that. I’m hoping, really hoping, that the new laws will make degrees for people like him from for-profits actually worth it.”

Kondor83/iStock/Getty Images “Congrats on getting hired! Here’s your desk.”

We hope so too, for the students’ sake, but we can’t imagine a future in which a prospective employer looks at your resume and says, “Whoa, University of Phoenix, huh? Don’t you think you might be overqualified?” Well, not with a straight face, anyway.

If you were misled by a for-profit college, please protect other students by letting the authorities know. If you decided to attend a school because of a misleading ad or deceptive recruiting, contact the Federal Trade Commission.

If you took out a private loan (not including federal student loans) to finance your education, you can also complain to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

If you are a veteran or service member who was deceived by a college, and you used the GI Bill or other VA programs to fund your education, please report it to the Department of Veterans Affairs’ new complaint system. The folks at Veterans Education Success would also like to hear from you, and can connect you with pro-bono attorneys, state and federal law enforcement agencies, and generally advocate on your behalf to the VA.

Evan V. Symon is an interviewer, writer, and interview-finder guy for the personal experience team at Cracked. Have an awesome experience/job you would like to share? Hit us up at [email protected] today!

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/i-teach-at-a-for-profit-college-5-ridiculous-realities/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/170963692147

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A Mindset "Revolution" Sweeping Britain's Classrooms May Be Based On Shaky Science

Michael Jordan didn’t make his high school basketball team in 1978. He went on to become the greatest player in the game’s history. This is what he says about failure: “I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

According to a theory that has swept education in the last few years, Jordan has what psychologists call a “growth mindset”. He believes that even if you can’t do something initially, you can improve your abilities, whether they involve basketball or maths or playing the oboe, through hard work. “I can accept failure,” he said. “Everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying.”

Psychologists say the growth mindset is contrasted to a “fixed mindset” – the belief that your skills are innate, genetically endowed and fixed. Someone with a fixed mindset, according to the theory, would look at a maths problem they couldn’t do, and think, I can’t do that, I’m not gifted at maths. They might give up. But someone with a growth mindset might apparently think, I just haven’t learnt enough maths to do that; I’ll learn some more and try again. They will keep trying in the face of difficulty – believing they can improve to meet challenges.

These ideas, known as mindset theory, have been described as a “revolution which is reshaping education”. Proponents say you can instil a growth mindset in a child through simple measures – notably, by praising them for how hard they work to achieve something, rather than for what they achieve – with impressive results.

It has garnered an enthusiastic following, with techniques marketed by a variety of training companies. Children in British schools make “mindset” posters to show the difference between the two states of mind, and hundreds of schools in the UK and US offer mindset programmes. NASA looks for, and tries to instil, a growth mindset in its top engineers, saying that fixed-mindset people feel “threatened by the success of others” and “plateau early and achieve less than their full potential”, while growth-mindset people “find inspiration” in others’ success and reach “ever higher levels of achievement”. Google looks for a growth mindset in new hires. The Harvard Business Review offers tips for how companies “can profit from a growth mindset”.

Michael Jordan (centre), who – according to Carol Dweck – is an example of a sportsperson with a "growth mindset".

Brent Smith

The concept is largely based on the research of Stanford professor Carol Dweck, whose book Mindset has sold over a million copies. A new edition was out on 12 January.

Dweck said in a talk to Google that she has worked with a US baseball team, asking them, for example, what they’d have to change about their approach if they became more successful. Some answered that they'd have to get used to playing in front of larger crowds. But others said they'd have to “take all my skills to a new level”, thus showing the growth mindset, according to Dweck.

She has made some eye-catching claims for the effects of the theory. Her website claims that a fixed mindset caused the Enron scandal, while a growth mindset can encourage cooperation between Israelis and Palestinians. “Almost every truly great athlete – Michael Jordan, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Tiger Woods, Mia Hamm, Pete Sampras – has had a growth mindset,” she believes.

Dweck says that people with a fixed mindset “are so concerned with being and looking talented that they never realise their full potential” and “when faced with setbacks, run away … make excuses, they blame others, they make themselves feel better by looking down on those who have done worse”. By contrast, a growth mindset “fosters a healthier attitude toward practice and learning, a hunger for feedback, a greater ability to deal with setbacks”.

But some statisticians and psychologists are increasingly worried that mindset theory is not all it claims to be. The findings of Dweck’s key study have never been replicated in a published paper, which is noteworthy in so high-profile a work. One scientist told BuzzFeed News that his attempt to reproduce the findings has so far failed. An investigation found several small but revealing errors in the study that may require a correction.

Dweck has been quick to explain and correct the mistakes – earning praise from the scientist who pointed them out – and denies that a failure to replicate her work is an indicator that the findings are shaky.

One of her first and most influential studies on the subject, authored with Claudia Mueller in 1998, claimed to find that teaching a growth mindset made children more likely to take on difficult challenges. One hundred and twenty-eight children took an intelligence test. They were all told that they had scored more than 80%, and that this was a high score. A third of them were then told “You must have worked hard at these problems” - to supposedly instil a growth mindset - another third were told “You must be smart at these problems”, and the rest were left as a control and given no further feedback.

All were then given a choice of further tests to do: either ones described as “problems that are pretty easy, so I’ll do well” or “problems that I’ll learn a lot from, even if I won’t look so smart”. Children who were praised as “smart” overwhelmingly opted for the easy problems; children praised as hard-working overwhelmingly chose the harder ones; the control group was evenly split. Similarly, when children were given another, harder test, those who had been praised as smart reported enjoying the challenging questions less than the children praised as hard-working.

The study has been hugely influential in social psychology – it has been cited by more than 1,200 other papers – and mindset theory has had a profound impact on business hiring practices and educational policy. A blog post on the British government website recommends hiring for growth mindset. Bill Gates has reviewed Dweck’s book in glowing terms. The University of Portsmouth got a £300,000 grant to carry out a mindset study on 6,000 British pupils this year, while educational bodies across Britain – including in Camden, Scotland, and Essex – want teachers to encourage a growth mindset in their children.

But the striking effects in Dweck’s findings have surprised psychologists. Timothy Bates, a professor of psychology at the University of Edinburgh, told BuzzFeed News that the “big effects, monstrous effects” that Dweck has found in the 1998 study and others are “strange – it’s an odd one to me”.

Scott Alexander, the pseudonymous psychiatrist behind the blog Slate Star Codex, described Dweck’s findings as “really weird”, saying “either something is really wrong here, or [the growth mindset intervention] produces the strongest effects in all of psychology”.

He asks: “Is growth mindset the one concept in psychology which throws up gigantic effect sizes … Or did Carol Dweck really, honest-to-goodness, make a pact with the Devil in which she offered her eternal soul in exchange for spectacular study results?”

Recently, other high-profile social psychology findings have come into question. The most prominent is the “power pose”, the idea that adopting assertive poses can make you more willing to take risks and even change your hormone levels. A TED talk on the subject by one of the study’s authors has been viewed 37 million times. But Andrew Gelman, a professor at the Applied Statistics Center at Columbia University and one of the most highly respected statisticians in the field, pointed out last year that the study was riddled with poor statistical practice, and one of its co-authors has recently admitted that she doesn’t think the supposed effects are real. In 2012, Daniel Kahneman, one of the pioneers of social psychology, wrote an open letter to his colleagues warning of a “train wreck” approaching the field if they didn’t improve its statistical practice.

Bates told BuzzFeed News that he has been trying to replicate Dweck’s findings in that key mindset study for several years. “We’re running a third study in China now,” he said. “With 200 12-year-olds. And the results are just null.

“People with a growth mindset don’t cope any better with failure. If we give them the mindset intervention, it doesn’t make them behave better. Kids with the growth mindset aren’t getting better grades, either before or after our intervention study.”

Carol Dweck's TED talk, "The power of believing that you can improve".

youtube.com

Dweck told BuzzFeed News that attempts to replicate can fail because the scientists haven’t created the right conditions. “Not anyone can do a replication,” she said. “We put so much thought into creating an environment; we spend hours and days on each question, on creating a context in which the phenomenon could plausibly emerge.

“Replication is very important, but they have to be genuine replications and thoughtful replications done by skilled people. Very few studies will replicate done by an amateur in a willy-nilly way.”

Nick Brown, a PhD student in psychology at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands, is sceptical of this: “The question I have is: If your effect is so fragile that it can only be reproduced [under strictly controlled conditions], then why do you think it can be reproduced by schoolteachers?”

Using a statistical method he developed called Granularity-Related Inconsistency of Means or GRIM, Brown has tested whether means (averages) given for data in the 1998 study were mathematically possible.

It works like this: Imagine you have three children, and want to find how many siblings they have, on average. Finding an average, or mean, will always involve adding up the total number of siblings and dividing by the number of children – three. So the answer will always either be a whole number, or will end in .33 (a third) or .67 (two thirds). If there was a study that looked at three children and found they had, on average, 1.25 siblings, it would be wrong – because you can’t get that answer from the mean of three whole numbers.

Google has included "mindset" thinking in its hiring practices.

Mark Blinch / Reuters