#whoever made that choice………… i will never be the same person | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heretherebedork · 7 months

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I am thinking a lot about how Ai Di is wearing a collar and a chain and a rainbow sweater while he declares his love for Chenyi and acts on his love in a moment that he knows is wrong but also believes is the end to everything they've ever had because his true final act of love is to leave. His final act of love is to leave Chenyi behind after doing something unforgivable.

(The embrace, the colors around them and on their skin, etched into them, becoming part of them. That Ai Di is still wearing red pants in this scene and then wearing red pants when he gets out of prison and it's the same thing, it's chaos and brilliance and love and knowing that he cannot have what he wants or wishes and then he cries onto Chenyi and it's only when he cries that Chenyi comes to life because he is crying for both of them and for what he's doing and for the future he can never have and for their brotherhood that he feels he's betrayed for his love.)

Still in rainbows. Still in his collar and his chain. And now he's giving up his life for the sake of letting Chenyi be free, of giving him freedom and of knowing that what he did when he was drunk was wrong.

It's a repayment that means it's all over, this is the end for Ai Di because he cannot forgive himself and he cannot get over his love and he can never, ever ask Chenyi to forgive him for what he did and so he is going to renounce every single bit of it, he's doing to let go of every single thing that shaped him and become whoever he is meant to be without that.

Ai Di loves Chenyi and believes that Chenyi could never love him back except as brothers and so he cannot do anything except try to give up. Try to move on. And he expects Chenyi to do the same thing. He expects Chenyi to say good riddance to him.

But isntead Chenyi shows up to take him back and doesn't take no for an answered, doesn't stop, just grabs him and picks him up again and again and takes him away with him because for Chenyi he's had four years to wonder and four years to change and four years of wanting to understand.

So much black and Ai Di is a brilliant pop of color in the middle. He is always the pop of color in the darkness and even in the sunlight he stands out so much, so bright and brilliant and present.

(Chenyi wants to know so much and cannot let go and he loves Ai Di but now he has to convince him to come back to him because they've each had four years to consider the future and make choices and they made very different choices.)

Chenyi made Ai Di bright and spicy food, all the colors and all the heat because he needs to know but also because he loves. Chenyi has missed his bright colors and everything Ai Di brings to his life.

(Ai Di assumes every question Chenyi asks is about sex but I think, frankly, Chenyi is asking more about why he left than why they fucked. Because he has spent four years worrying and missing and loving and he doesn't want to keep doing that. He wants to know why Ai Di did that and then left him.

Because Ai Di was never supposed to leave him.)

The shock on his face when Ai Di mentioned the idea of revenge, like it never even crossed his mind? Because it probably never did.

Ai Di went to prison but he want to go take care of Zongyi and look out for his friend. But Chenyi stayed on the outside and he realized that he wasn't in love with the man he thought he was, that he loved the one person who had left him, the one person who left him after he said he never would.

(Tiny note, the red on his shirt is over his stomach and the first thing he does is try to win Ai Di's heart through his stomach and @respectthepetty I am thinking far, far too deeply.)

Bright lights and lots of color all around them but, in this shot, they're both in black and the light barely touches them. The light is pure white and brilliant and it's blinding. They're trapped in that light, too seen and yet unable to see.

Chenyi is trying so hard not to let go, to keep Ai Di, to give him every excuse in the book to stay and I think that if Ai Di just stopped trying to leave Chenyi would accept anything he said because he doesn't know how to let go.

And the most heartbroken face when Chenyi pulls away from him again, when he leaves again, when he refuses to explain anything or to stay with him and just keeps trying to get away from him because he truly believes that Chenyi shouldn't forgive him for what he did and that there's no way Chenyi loves him or ever loved him that way he loves him.

But Ai Di in blue? Already got his hair back to blonde but he's still in blue and Chenyi is in black and white but the lights around them are red again, lighting them both the same way.

They need to communicate but neither of them knows how because they've spent a lifetime communicating without having to talk and now they need to actually talk.

They were brothers. They relied on each other. They knew each other so well they could fight without even looking. All their communication was natural and now they need to fight that and actually speak to each other, to understand each other, to make themselves be vulnerable because that is the only way they can get past this.

They can do it. The red light promises that they can. But right now they're on very, very different pages.

#kiseki: dear to me #kdtm #chen yi x ai di #ai di #ai di x chen yi #bl drama #bl series #asianlgbtqdramas #asian lgbtq dramas #taiwanese bl #taiwan bl #taiwanese drama #taiwan drama #taiwanese series #kiseki dear to me #taiwanese bl series #taiwanese bl drama #i love them so much

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

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Mcyt with an s/o who's a voice acter for video game characters? They mostly do voice characters in horror games n stuff(like until dawn, where the characters are also modeled after the voice after if I remember correctly)

I just think their faces would be hilarious if the choice they make in the game ends up with y/n getting killed lol

OH MY GOD YESSSSS ; also tried to use different games and not the same for everyone but I'm not the heaviest story game gamer LMFAO ; also don't talk about how timeliness wouldn't make sense shhhhhh

MCYT ; video game voice actor

includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language & fictional violence and death/murder

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

somehow the topic of mc story mode came up and how you actually voice acted a few characters + one of the Jessie variants (whichever you picked as a kid 🙏)

"WHAT? WHY DIDNT I KNOW ABOUT THIS?"

"I mean I was like, fourteen. I don't think I even knew you yet"

"absolute betrayal"

he literally speeds to his office, downloads the first game and proceeds to stream for three hours playing it (he selects whichever Jessie you voiced of course)

"OH MY GOD THAT IS MY PARTNER, HOLY SHIT, LISTEN TO THEIR BABY VOICE!"

the tweets never end

"spot the difference" and its an old/new pic of you compared to jessie

💀💀💀💀

once he gets to the save Petra or Lukas scene he straight up pauses and playfully yells at you like you made the game?? 💀🙏

he dies so many times it's not even funny

love him tho

TUBBO

red dead redemption two 💀

forget the qsmp, once he finally downloads the game its all he's playing for a straight week

again, how the hell did he not know about this??

it was only 2018??

you voice a few of the townsfolk and a few of the supporting characters

everytime he hears your baby voice he's like "omg you sounded like that??" obviously he's been friends w you for a while so he doesn't notice voice changes

as an Easter egg, the player can actually kill one of the random townsfolk solely for being annoying with no consequences

it's modeled after you as well 💀💀💀

the npc just shouts annoying shit and doesn't shut up and is encouraged to kill the kid

tubbo kills the kid and unlocks the secret achievement

RANBOO

Detroit become human

the moment he finds out you voiced a minor character he speedruns trying to find you

the character is also modeled after you, so he's begging chat to keep an eye out for you too

you're basically just some very friendly person trying to help Connor but no matter what route he/the player takes, you wind up dead for the angst

ouuuu the heartbreak, the angst

if it's by being shot, betrayed, or committing your own death, you're gone bro

"y/n why the fuck does your character die in the worst ways possible?"

you shrug

"that genuinley hurt my feelings. I don't wanna play this anymore"

"you didn't get to Connors possible death scene yet!"

"WHAT?"

FREDDIE BADLINU

TLOU 2 (I don't support the makers zionist views, I just thought this fit. free Palestine and do your daily clicks)

was literally cheering you on the whole time when you were bts for voice acting your character

you had to take like scream classes to upgrade your screaming abilities lmao

you gave the voice to a character modeled after you, an infected teen who runs into ellie on her way through the game

she/the player is forced to put you down because you're not immune

he plays through the game and turns to you like "dude do I actually have to kill you to progress?"

you just nod

"I'm sorry, I didn't wanna do this"

THE DESPERATE SCREAMING GOT HIM

literally looked at you in horror

"...are you okay?"

you smile and nod

NIKI NIHACHU

life is strange

mf you would've been like 16?? damn get ur bag, okay

she plays through and you va (whoever you choose) and everytime she hears your voice she smiles

"omg that's my partner! that's y/n, you guys!! :D"

the cutest

literallt cries at the end of the game

"y/n, were you in life is strange two?"

"why?"

"Cause I wanna play it but I don't wanna get my hopes up about you being there"

"just play it, just play it. trust me"

ALEX QUACKITY

twdg s4

basically clem/the player gets really close to your character and ends up having to kill them after they turn into a walker

the angst, the heartbreak

he's never done a full let's play / game play like that before and especially with a full game series

when he got to s4 and heard you for the first time he literally started jumping around and screaming

now when you die... it's jumping and screaming alright (in anger and sadness)

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I PLAYED ALL THOSE GAMES JUST FOR YOU TO DIE?"

"I mean there's an option to prevent me turning, you're just a dumbass"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IM RESTARTING"

FOOLISH GAMERS

dead by daylight

you va'd multiple characters/killers

and the devs wanted to show appreciation by giving you your own playable character with your natural voice

when foolish finds out, he gets tubbo, quackity, tina & niki in a call to play dbd + stream for like 6 hours

loves seeing all the death animations you'd be given and all your voicelines

"OH MY GOD! guys this is my partner, they're so instantly talented at voice acting, holy shit!"

"we get it foolish, you love y/n"

"It's more than love, quackity, it's an obsession"

"my brother in christ, calm down"

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #tommyinnit x reader #ranboo x reader #quackity x reader #badlinu x reader #tubbo x reader #alex quackity x reader #freddie badlinu x reader #niki nihachu x reader #nihachu x reader #foolish gamers x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #mcyt x gn reader #they/them reader

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mono-moonchilds · 11 months

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NOT THE ONLY ONE | JJK

⤑ pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

⤑ genre: smut and angst

⤑ rating: explicit (18+)

⤑ word count: 3.3K

⤑ summary: whoever said that the truth would set you free was a liar. the truth was cold and it hurt. and sometimes it still left you stuck in the same cycle.

⤑ warnings: college fic, jk is an asshole, manipulative behavior, infidelity, gaslighting, sad!reader, unprotected sex, creampie, oc wants to be loved, toxic relationship

⤑ part one

The morning after was always the worst.

A harsh feeling of shame washing over every step you took as you made your way through the campus. Realistically no one knew. There was no way they could. It wasn’t like Jungkook was going to tell anyone and you definitely weren’t either. But despite knowing that it still didn’t help. It felt like everyone was staring at you- quietly judging you for the decisions you made.

Could you blame them though?

You knew exactly how everything was going to end the moment you saw Jungkook at your door. The worst part was that you’d do it again. Despite the shame and the sadness, you’d do it all over again just for those few fleeting moments of happiness.

It was pathetic.

Always craving more of Jungkook even after he showed you his true colors time after time. Always trying to convince yourself of the maybes. That maybe he would be true this time, maybe he’d stay, maybe he would simply see that you were worth it. That you were worth his time, his energy, his commitment.

It was something about never being the first choice that really fucked with someone’s well-being. Fucked with the way you carried yourself- the way you looked at yourself. Sometimes when you looked at old photos you couldn’t even recognize the person you saw. The bright smile you once sported was so foreign and far to you now.

“Y/n!” You turned to see Hoseok jogging your way. The sweet smile he always sported etched across his face just like usual. “I’ve been calling your name for a while now.”

“Ah- sorry. Didn’t even hear you.”

“I’m about to go meet Yoongi for lunch you wanna come?”

“I got a class that starts in like fifteen minutes,”

“Gross,” Hoseok gagged in disgust. “Come on just ditch this once. I got shit to tell you about last night.”

“I can’t. It’s one of Professor Williams’ classes. You know how she is.”

Right on cue, just like it always did when Hoseok heard that name, the smile on his face dropped only to be quickly replaced with genuine annoyance and anger. “Fucking hate that bitch,” He grumbled with a scowl.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “For some reason, something tells me the feeling is most likely mutual.”

Hoseok rolled his eyes. “I got weed,” He reached into his pocket pulling out a baggy. “Top tier gossip and weed. You’re crazy if you turn this down.”

“As tempted as I am, I still gotta say no. Top tier gossip and weed or my literal grade in a class that I pay to attend.” You held up your hands as if you were physically weighing both options. “I think we both know the obvious choice here.”

Hoseok booed, quite literally booed, throwing down both thumbs in the process. “Fine. Even though we both know you could tell that woman you murdered someone and she would still let you make up anything you missed. What’s the point of being the teacher's pet if you don’t use it for your advantage?”

“Save me some and tell me everything when I get home later?”

“I don’t know,” Hoseok shrugged. “I may not be in a talky mood later.”

It was silent for only a moment before the two of you both burst into laughter. Hoseok not being in the mood to talk? That was like a fish suddenly deciding it could live without water. It was never going to happen.

As you watched Hoseok leave, the tiny slither of okay-ness that you’d briefly felt left with him. Maybe you should just ditch class this once. Realistically what harm could it do? You were already ahead in your work and like Hoseok said Professor Williams wasn’t going to do anything to you if you missed a class. God knows you could use the distraction. The second Hoseok left; your brain immediately went back to Jungkook.

What was he doing? What was he thinking? Did he feel bad for leaving you like that? Did he feel bad for the way he treated you?

You already knew the answer to these questions, but you still couldn’t help but think of the maybes. Those damn maybes and the endless possibilities they could hold were going to be your downfall.

“H-,” You were about to call out to Hoseok telling him to wait up when something stopped you in your tracks.

More accurately- someone stopped you in your tracks.

If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve sworn that you were having a heart attack. The pain in your chest is almost enough to knock you to your knees. You blink once, twice, and then a third trying to convince yourself that you were going crazy. That you’d finally lost it and were just seeing things.

But no matter how much you blinked or rubbed, the sight just wouldn’t go away. It was real. The girl clinging to Jungkook’s arm was very real. You wanted to believe that it was something new- that she was just another fling like you but there was something that was off. The way the two of them held each other had a sense of familiarity. The way their hands and eyes lingered. This wasn’t a fling and it definitely wasn’t anything new.

It was cultivated.

It was seasoned.

It was everything you wanted.

“I love you,” The girl leaned up pressing a long kiss to Jungkook’s lips. Even the way he smiled- it was something that you’d never seen before. The small smile on his face as he stared down at her with nothing but adoration in his eyes.

“Love you too baby.”

Your heart shattered.

When the two turn to go their separate ways Jungkook notices you. His mouth fell open a little as he looked between you and his girlfriend. She was none the wiser. A happy little bounce in her step as she entered the nearest building. Jungkook said nothing and neither did you. In fact, you did the exact opposite. You turned and ran, hightailing it out of there as fast as you could. There was this hope that Jungkook would yell after you, that he would chase you down and say something.

He never did.

Her name was Imani.

She was an education major. She had an older sister, a German Sheppard, and two loving parents. She liked taking pictures of sunsets. Always posted her adventures with her friends. Had more community service under her belt than a delinquent teen that was being forced by the state. She’d been on two study-abroad trips. One in Japan and the other in Brazil. And as recently as last semester she’d transferred into the University after leaving one that’d been closer home.

She was kind of difficult to find. And for a moment you thought maybe you were seeing things. From Jungkook’s Instagram page, you would’ve never even assumed he had a girlfriend. Most of his pictures consumed him at the gym or of random food he’d eaten. There were no pictures of her or them together and Jungkook had his tags hidden. It wasn’t until you went through the comments of ten different pictures that you found her.

l0V3lY.M4N1: my baby is so handsome 😍

Jungk00k: 💖💖💖

Her page told a different story.

Jungkook was everywhere. He was in a post as recent as a week ago and one as old as five years ago.

Imani and Jungkook had been together since their junior year of high school.

They’d attended prom together, went to each other’s family functions, hell- they spent holidays together.

If you weren’t so close to the verge of tears you’d laugh. The whole thing is hilarious in a sick way. This entire time you’d been hoping- praying that Jungkook would see you as a person when in reality he already had his person. He’d had her for half a decade. She was pretty and vibrant. Kind of reminded you of those girls you’d see on Pinterest. Perfect makeup, perfect hair, cute clothes.

You were a mess. The fading pink curls on your head matted together. The sweat jacket and pants you had on hung sloppily against your body.

With a loud noise, Jungkook's name pops across your screen. You immediately send him to voicemail. He doesn’t give up though. No matter how many times you decline the call Jungkook keeps calling again and again and again. You could’ve easily blocked him but something about the persistence he was finally making made your heart flutter in a sad way. A sick smile creeping onto your mouth each time his name popped back up. After the tenth time, you couldn’t help but swipe your thumb across.

“Open the damn door.” Click. There was a heavy knock. Your hand was already on the doorknob before you could even let out the next breath.

When the opened the door, it was like muscle memory. A loud smack echoed through the hall.

“Damn,” A distant voice in the hall echoed out.

Jungkook’s head slowly turned back to face you. His eyes were low with anger. “That make you feel better?” He huffed out.

“No. Go the fuck home Jungkook.”

Of course, he didn’t listen. Just like the night before he pushed his way into the apartment shutting the door behind him.

“List-”

“You’re a real piece of shit you know that right?” You cut him off. “Just when I think you couldn’t get any worse you prove me wrong. You have a girlfriend!”

“It doesn’t mean anything,”

You blinked in disbelief. Did he really just say that? You couldn’t help but laugh. Jungkook stared at you like you’d grown two heads. His face twisted between a mix of discomfort and confusion.

“You’ve been together for five years.”

“How do you even know that?”

You held up your phone flicking on the screen. “It’s all right here,”

“What the fuck,” Jungkook attempted to reach for the phone, but you were too quick. Stepping back, you smoothly moved it away. “Are you fucking crazy!” You jumped at the sound of Jungkook’s booming voice.

There was nothing but pure disgust on his face and even though it should’ve truly been the opposite way around you couldn’t help but feel shame.

“What is wrong with you?”

You couldn’t even answer. The phone you were holding so proudly in the air just a second ago now feeling as heavy as a bag of sand.

“I don’t even know why I came here,” Jungkook sighed letting out a deep breath. “I’m leaving.”

Let him leave.

Please just let him leave.

Your brain quietly begged you.

His hand was on the knob. Jungkook was almost gone. Just let him leave.

“Jungkook please,” You quietly called out. “Please don’t leave. I’m…. I’m- I’m sorry.”

For once when you looked at Jungkook he genuinely seemed to be in shock. Like even he was in disbelief of what he’d just heard. You couldn’t even believe it yourself. Out of all the things you should’ve said, had you really just apologized?

“Please-” He closed his eyes. “Don’t apologize…. why are you fucking apologizing? Shit-” Jungkook whispered running his hands over his face. “I…I can’t,”

“Jungkook please,”

“What do you want from me!” The dark hair boy whipped around. “Fuck…baby,” Jungkook swore again. “I didn’t mean to yell. Please don’t cry.”

You whispered a small okay, but the tears didn’t stop. Even as Jungkook moved forward his soft hands cupping your face as he gently tried to wipe the tears away, they didn’t stop. Just like last night when Jungkook touched you- you couldn’t help but lean further into him. Your body curled into him as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around you.

“What are you doing to me?” Jungkook mumbled. It was so quiet you weren’t even sure you were meant to hear it.

For the first time since the very first time, Jungkook was soft. His lips gently caressed yours as he guided you through the narrow hall and to your bedroom. As Jungkook laid you down you couldn’t help but cling to him. Your arms and legs wrapped tightly around his body as if you let go he would just disappear. You knew he was going to leave at some point- he always did- but for right now you wanted him as close as possible.

Imani be damned. Jungkook was yours and you were his.

At least for this moment.

“Take this off,” He tugged at your jacket. Without a second thought, you leaned forward sliding the jacket over your head before letting it fall to the floor. “My pretty girl,” Jungkook whispered sliding your bra off next. A low whine escaped you as Jungkook’s fingers ghosted across your skin.

“What do you want?”

“Anything,”

A light chuckle left Jungkook’s nose. In all honesty, it made you feel gross. The way the knowing smirk registered on his face as he thought about your words. Even though you hadn’t technically said it Jungkook knew what you meant. He knew exactly what he was doing and that alone should’ve made you push him off you.

But you didn’t. Instead, you begged.

He just shushed you. “You don’t want me to rush right?” You quickly shook your head. “I know you don’t want me to.”

With that, Jungkook went back to what he was doing. Tracing his fingers along while you lay there taking whatever he gave you. Piece by piece, Jungkook took his time removing the remainder of your clothes.

“I haven’t even done anything and you're so fucking wet,” Jungkook reached down spreading your lips apart. “You’d take anything I gave you. Do anything I say. Wouldn’t you?” You gave a shameful nod. Jungkook just smiled smugly to himself.

You let out a breath of relief as Jungkook finally leaned down pressing long kisses against your body. The dark-haired boy not stopping until he was right in front of the place you needed him most.

The loud blaring of Jungkook’s phone ringing pulled the two of you from the moment. You couldn’t see who was calling but for some reason, you already knew.

“Hi baby,” Jungkook said sweetly into the phone confirming your suspicion. The lust-filled fog you’d briefly felt immediately lifted and now all that was left was disgust. What the hell were you doing?

“No no-” He laughed. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I’m sorry I couldn’t come with you. Yeah no-” Jungkook let out a deep breath. “I’m still not feeling to well.” A soft whimper escaped your lips as Jungkook took his thumb resting it on your clit as he rubbed against the small button in circular motions.

Pouting his lips out, Jungkook silently shushed you. “No babe don’t worry about it. I’m sure I’ll be fine tomorrow. M’just gonna lay down and go to sleep.” He pushed a finger in making you gasp.

“Yeah, I know.” Jungkook hummed. “I love you too,”

If Jungkook hadn’t hung up the phone so quickly the sound of you bursting into tears would’ve definitely exposed the five different lies he’d just told. Never once in all your years had you experienced two totally different emotions at once.

“Y/n- baby,” Jungkook cooed softly as he leaned down pressing a kiss to your forehead.

You sucked in a shaky breath, arms wrapping around your body. “What the fuck-” You heaved. It felt like you were about to throw up. “Oh my god… what am I do- you-you have a girlfriend.”

“But I’m here with you. Just let me do this.” Jungkook begged. He sounded so sincere. You could feel yourself falling back under. “Just one last time. You- you drive me crazy.”

It was so sad how that was all it took for Jungkook to have you back under his spell. A faint smile filled his lips as he pushed back so he could stand up and pull down his pants. The tip of his cock was dark red and leaking with anticipation.

You began to roll over onto your stomach but a hand resting on your hip stopped you. “I wanna see you,” Your heart swelled.

Despite the position change, Jungkook was still as rough as he usually was. His fingers dug harshly into your throat as he fucked you. As much as you didn’t want to think about it you couldn’t stop yourself from wondering if this was how he treated Imani. The very nature in how he spoke to her was so different that you couldn’t imagine it to be true. Jungkook was probably so gentle with her, he took his time making her feel special with every touch while with you Jungkook just fucked you like some whore.

And that’s all you were. At least to him.

That still didn’t stop you from grasping at his arm as you asked for more.

“Keep your eyes on me,” Jungkook demanded. “Wanna see you. Need shit-” He let out a deep groan. “Need to see you.”

You nodded your head in compliance but with the way Jungkook pushed into you, it was too hard to keep your word. “ah- Kook…please- fuck,” The way he looked on top of you was so gorgeous. His hair hung in his face as his eyebrows twisted in determination.

“I know baby,” Jungkook gasped as he twisted your left nipple between the balls of his fingers. “You’re so good- doing so fucking good.” You let out a loud whine. “What is it, baby?”

“Muh-more. Please- more,”

“Words baby,”

You weren’t even sure what you meant. Whether you meant it literally, figuratively, or both. Probably both. All you wanted was Jungkook.

Instead of saying anything else you just pulled him closer until his body was lying flat against yours. When Jungkook pulled away you almost felt yourself about to cry, rejection flooding your body, but within seconds he hushed you pulling your legs onto his shoulders before he leaned down pressing himself against you again.

“No marks,” He muttered sternly. You hadn’t even realized you’d begun. Jungkook didn’t follow his own direction though. His lips sucking eagerly on your neck as he continued to fuck you open.

You couldn’t help the tears rolling down your face. You just wanted this all the time. Wanted Jungkook all the time.

“Please, please”

“My pretty baby gonna cum?” You bounced your head eagerly. “Me too- mmm… you feel so fucking good.” You gasped loudly clenching tightly around him. “That’s right baby- give it to me.”

You’re sure the neighbor can hear you as you scream out in pleasure from the band in your stomach snapping. Eyes rolling to the back of your head as nothing but the sound of static and color white filled your brain.

Jungkook came with a loud groan. His body stuttering against yours as his warm cum painted your walls creamy white. Even as Jungkook fell to the side rolling onto his back you didn’t let him go. Your arms wrapped around his stomach as if he would disappear if you let him go for just a second.

Because he would. Undoubtedly Jungkook was going to leave you and there was nothing you could do about it.

He was going to walk out of here and go back to Imani as if nothing between the two of you had ever existed. Just the thought of him running his hands along her deep brown skin is enough to make you want to puke.

And as much as you wanted to hate her you couldn’t. You were the one in the wrong. Maybe you didn’t know about her at first but now you did, and you’d still slept with Jungkook.

“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”

“I hate you. I hate you so much.” You sobbed.

“I know,” Jungkook took a long pause. “I hate me too.”

When you woke up the next morning just like you expected your room was empty. The only trace of Jungkook even being here is the scattered marks along your jaw.

When you picked up your phone it’s still where you left it last night.

On Imani’s Instagram page.

You don’t know why you did what you did next.

You click the little blue button in the top left corner.

⤑ A/N: I'm sorry guys I know a lot of you who liked the first story wanted a part two where jk was redeemed but tbh I just could not think of a storyline for that. even when this one-shot was originally jikook I had always imagined that if there was a pt 2 in the next fic jk would turn out to have had a significant other the whole time. also, I like angst sue me :p

#bts smut #bts x black reader #bts fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook drabble #bts jungkook #jungkook x black reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #btshoneyhive

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lxclerc · 10 months

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𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 | 𝐜𝐥𝟏𝟔

summary... charles' lonely call breaks your heart further requested... yes! warning... angst pairing... charles leclerc x reader

note... a little drabble requested back in november 2022. i'm so sorry for it being super super super late but if whoever requested it is still here then i hope you enjoy it! feedbacks are very much appreciated and encourages me to write more! extra note... also i'm taking a semester gap year so i will be trying to post more and get through requests so let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

you’re exhausted, having just got home from a forty eight hour shift. being a surgical resident is absolute hell and you’re not quite sure how you’re managing but somehow you’d manage to drag yourself back home, frowning as you reach for the light switch only to find the wall empty.

right. you’re in your own apartment, a place you hadn’t really lived at for months. mostly you’d come here when you needed something but more times than not, you go home to his apartment. it had been your home rather than this sad, lonely place void of his laughter.

you sigh, letting your bag drop to your thrifted couch. you suddenly wished you’d stayed in the hospital on call room instead of here. being back in this place reminds you of all the things you no longer have, of the person you no longer call yours.

god the self pity is getting tiring and you’re far too tired for another midnight crying session and so after washing the grime off your skin, you’d settled on your sofa with a bag of chips, flipping on the TV to some trashy american series to drown out your loneliness.

however, as fate would unfortunately have it, you hadn’t even reached the second episode before your phone started ringing, his smiling face displayed on the screen. you’d frozen on your spot. you remember the exact date you’d taken that photo of him and you still had the ringtone you specifically chose for him.

you’re haunted, your body full of memories and his fingerprints imprinted in your soul. even now, three weeks, two days and twelve hours since he’d called it off, he still haunts. you wanted to let out a bitter laugh as the ringing stopped. who’s counting right?

you refused to be his lonely call. you might be absolutely miserable and pathetic but you respect yourself enough for that. you won’t be his lonely call just because his friends and his girls are gone. you’d been his six am good morning but you will never be his midnight number whenever he starts wondering if he’d made the wrong choice.

your phone lights up again but you let it ring. if he had more things to say to you then he can say it after the beep.

he calls more times after that, keeping you awake as you stare at your ringing phone. a few times, you catch yourself reaching for it, reminding yourself that he’d been the one to make this choice. he’d been the one to make excuses about both your schedules being too much. and it was so unfair how he tormented you for it. this entire thing was unfair. you were willing to give everything to charles. you loved him far too much and you’d been under the impression that he felt the same but if he was willing to give you up so easily, did he really love you as much as he claimed he did?

he’d made his bed and now he needed to get used to sleeping on it.

it was around two am when he finally stopped calling and you’re sure you’ll have a headache come tomorrow morning from staying up too late. you decide to call it a night and end your self inflicted torture, putting your phone on silent as you turned off the TV and chucked your empty bag of chips in the trash. you were just about to turn off the light when the knock came and you knew without checking exactly who it was.

you sigh, frozen in your tracks as the knocks became more and more insistent.

“y/n,” his voice is rough, scratchy as though he’d spent the entire night screaming at the top of his lungs and you felt a tear slip down your cheeks. he sounded so broken. maybe as broken as you felt. “s'il te plaît, mon amour.” please, my love.

you stay rooted to your place. this is unfair. this is so fucking unfair. he’d been the one to give up. charles gave you up. how dare he come crawling to you now?

“Je suis désolé. Je suis désolé. Je pensais que je pourrais apprendre à moins t'aimer. Tu me manques,” he rambles. “i miss you so fucking much i didn’t even think it was possible, baby.” I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought I could learn to love you less. I miss you.

a sob rocks your body as you fall to the floor, clutching yourself as though you’re trying to hold yourself together.

“please, baby,” he begs and you can hear the way he’s crying too. “J'ai besoin de toi.” i need you.

and then you open the door. because you loved him too much. because you could never give up on him.

taglist: @ricsaigaslec @dragon-of-winterfell @coffeehurricanes @privcherry7 @miniminescapist @sebsdaniel @writing-about-current-obsessions @bisexual-desi @cialovessirlewis @multilovebot @lovelynikol16 @troybolton-14 @dr3lover @myescapefromthislife @sunf1owerr @t-nd-rfoot @navixfr

#formula 1 #f1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #formula 1 one shot #formula 1 x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc angst #charles leclerc fanfiction #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc one shot

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rioxna · 13 days

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Friendships Are Overrated

fem!reader x minho

SUMMARY: you are minho's best friend, and get injured out on a run because of a griever that came out of hiding sooner that it was supposed to. love confession happens as a result of it, because of course it does

WORD COUNT: 2.7k (i waffled for a lot of it i'm sorry)

you had been sent up to the glade on the third month, making you the third person.. or ‘greenie’, to have ever been sent up to the glade as you and everyone else held captive within the large stone barriers of your cage had called it. on the outside of those walls was a large maze, with its very own walls that shifted and manoeuvred loudly every night without fail. no one knew how or why it happened, but it scared you all to death.

every month, a new terrified and confused kid would get sent up in a giant, mysterious metallic box, as well as new supplies for those already living in the glade every week. none of you knew where it came from or who was sending it up, but after a while you stopped questioning it. you were thankful that at least, whoever it was that had put you here, had the courtesy to give you all the basic resources you needed to survive.

each time, the poor kid whose fate led them to waking up in said box had no idea where they were, how they got there, where they came from, and what their name was. much like you had. most of the time they were guys, infact, they were always guys.

but not you.

you had been the only girl to have ever been sent up in the box. due to you being one of the first few - for a while, you prayed for a good few months that the next person to be brought up would be a girl. of course, you had grown used to having the guys around, they were great, but a fellow female friend wouldn't hurt.

however, it never happened.

after about five months, you stopped hoping. it became clear that only more and more boys would be brought up, and you remained the odd one out. you got along well enough with them all to come to terms with it, they respected you and you respected them. the gender ratio was definitely not the main concern you and the others had anyways, escaping whatever this place was meant far more to you all.

for a while, you and the boys tried time and time again to use the box as a way out - however all of your methods rendered you defeated. you tried everything you could possibly think of, such as sending people back down into the box when it was usually scheduled to disappear, however it wouldn't budge until they got out of it and quite frankly you needed the supplies it would bring up too much to wait any longer.

the last attempt you ever made at using the box as an attempt to escape ended up in the loss of one of your fellow gladers, the half of his body that was salvaged was left as a sick reminder for anyone who thought to try the same thing ever again to not even bother.

eventually, there was enough of you in the glade to start assigning jobs and roles to maintain a stable community as more and more people showed up.

alby, the first ever to have ever been sent up to the glade, was in charge of this. in charge of everything, for that matter.

he had naturally taken up the leadership role amongst you all, to which no one argued against, he was damn good at what he did and you all trusted him.

you were assigned the role of being a runner. runners were the only people who were permitted to go beyond the large stone walls of your enclosure and into the maze in hopes to find an out.

you liked your job, you liked the freedom of going beyond the walls of the glade and you liked the rush of adrenaline you got every time you stepped foot in the maze, not knowing whether or not you'd make it out by the end of the day or not.

but most of all, you liked minho.

minho was the keeper of the runners, he was the most promising runner out of you all - with his agility, strength, and photographic memory, it wasn't a hard choice for alby to put him in charge of everyone who ran the maze alongside him.

he had come up with a system for the runners, and everyday you all worked by it.

who ran what days, who ran what sections, he set up the mapping system you would use to keep track of your findings after a day out in the maze and all. he was incredible, and you admired him more than anyone.

not only was he one of the most impressive shanks in the glade, he was also your best friend.

you both were glued by the hip whenever you had the chance, and it had become an ongoing joke amongst the other gladers about it only being a matter of time before you two became official.

of course, you both tried to ignore the teasing remarks of your peers. who had time for a shuck relationship in this place? you would say, but deep down - the two of you were simply too scared of ruining the friendship you had already spent so long building to even try. you were fine with being friends as long as you always had eachother in some sense, after all.

it had been your turn to go out and run section 4 of the maze with another guy you had grown quite close with during your time as a runner, his name was hank.

you and hank were doing fine for the most part, not much was said as you both skilfully ran and took note of any change that had happened overnight. speaking would only slow you down, save your breath for running, minho would say.

you and hank were doing fine, that was until you both had an unexpected run in with a griever.

you had never felt fear before like you had upon seeing the disgustingly terrifying form of the griever, chasing after you full speed with its many mechanical appendages. you noted seeing spikes, shears, rods, the lot.

the sheer noise of the clicking and whirring behind you growing nearer and nearer as you fled for your life caused your ears to ring and your head to hurt.

as you were trying to desperately get out of the maze and away from the vile creature not too far behind, you suddenly tripped over a rock and went flying towards the ground, twisting your ankle and earning yourself a nasty scrape going up your arm.

you cried out as you hit the floor, hoping hank might've heard you take your tumble and turn back to help you. you truly thought he would've when he turned his head to look at you, his face mirroring the fear you felt.

that was until he called back a simple ‘sorry’ and continued to run ahead in order to save himself.

what a pussy.

well, you couldn't exactly blame him for being scared, you were too, but still. what a pussy.

you didn't have time to dwell on it however, as the griever behind you was getting far too close. you stood up on your feet and kept on running, ignoring the screaming coming from your foot that sent jolts of white hot pain surging through your leg each time it hit the ground.

due to your injury, you were running significantly slower, thus earning you a slash in the back from one of the grievers many metallic limbs as it grew impossibly closer, but somehow you managed to outrun it in the end and get out past the doors of the maze in time, you were back into the safe confinements of the glade.

you collapsed onto the ground, your vision grew blurry and your consciousness began to slip away. the last thing you remember was a group of gladers crowding around you and yelling out a number of things over the top of eachother.

“holy shuck! is she stung?!”

“someone go get clint and jeff!”

“what happened, (y/n)?!”

“she's bleeding out, quick!”

you woke up with a groan, rubbing your eyes as you sat up carefully in the bed you were in. you were in the med-hut, that much was obvious.

you kicked off the blanket that had been placed over your body and noticed how your foot had been taken care of, a bandage wrapped tightly around your injured ankle.

seemingly your back and arm had been seen to as well, you felt stiff as a bandage had been wrapped equally as tight around your torso to secure the wound on your back that you had received from the griever.

you looked around to see if anyone was nearby, but you were seemingly on your own. that was until a minute later, as if on queue, jeff walked into the med-hut.

his eyebrows raised ever so slightly upon seeing you sitting up, before a smile took over his features.

“hey, (y/n). how you feeling?”

he asked, putting down whatever it was that was in his hand and making his way over to you, placing the back of his hand over your forehead in an attempt to check your temperature.

“like i've just been attacked by a griever.”

your voice was hoarse and rough, causing you to wince slightly at the sound of it.

jeff simply laughed, rolling his eyes.

“yeah, i'll bet. thankfully, you weren't stung though. dunno how, you lucky shank.”

he walked back to the door of the med-hut, turning to face you before he left.

“i'm gonna go tell minho you're awake, that moron was a mess when he heard what happened, i'll be back.”

you said nothing as he made his way out of the building and shut the door gently behind him. you felt your heart flutter slightly at the mention of minho’s name and at the fact he was so worried about you, before mentally preparing yourself for the scolding you were probably about to receive from the man.

due to you being such close friends with him, you had seen almost every side of him. to you, he was nothing more than that sarcastic, humorous and confident douchebag you had grown to love. however it would be foolish to forget just how serious he can be sometimes.

you waited patiently for minho to arrive, and when he did - you had never seen him look so worried. if anything, his expression worsened upon seeing the state you were in.

“hey, min. long time no see,” you attempted to joke, in which he simply furrowed his brows at as he moved swiftly across the room towards you.

once he got in front you, he cupped your face in his rough hands, looking over your features for any injuries on that ridiculously pretty face of yours, before pulling you into a hug.

“jesus christ, you asshole. do you know how shuckin’ worried i was about you??”

“ow, ow, ow, ow- min, my back.”

he mumbled out an apology, before gently pulling away and seating himself on the bed opposite you, his expression slightly less tense but still holding that same concern he had come in with a minute before.

“what the hell happened out there?” he demanded, his tone a weird mix between pure worry and anger.

“well.. y'know, me and hank had an unfortunate run in with a griever. during the day.” you shrugged simply, summing the story up.

“i don't understand-” he ran a hand through his trademark perfectly styled black hair.

“how the hell are you the only one who came out injured? what was hank doing?”

you pursed your lips for a second, debating whether or not to rat on hank for leaving you behind.

“i tripped over a rock when we were running away from it and hurt my foot.” you lifted up your injured foot ever so slightly as your legs hung over the side of your bed, showing him the bandaged limb.

“and hank didn't come and help you?” he asked, the anger in his expression increasing.

“well… no, not exactly, but-”

“i am going to kill that shank-”

minho stood up, getting ready to go out there and rock hank’s shit for practically leaving you, his best friend, to die at the gruesome hands or whatever they had of a griever.

you quickly grabbed a hold of his wrist, stopping him from going any further.

“minho, stop! there's no point, dude.”

“how is there not, huh? that shucking slinthead left you to die. i'm gonna see to it that he spends a month in the pit for that,” he exclaimed, yanking his hand away from your grasp as he turned around to face you again.

“minho, he was scared. we were both terrified and running for our lives, it's not his fault i tripped on a damn rock.”

his features softened a little at your words, before sitting back down on the bed opposite you, mumbling some curse under his breath.

an amused smirk tugged at your lips as you studied the boy in front of you.

“you need to chill out, min. i'm alive and for the most part well, that's all that matters.”

his eyes lifted from the ground to meet your gaze, letting out a sigh.

“i know, i know. i just- you're my best friend, (y/n), and i just can't lose you. but i came this close to it today, i dont..”

he trailed off, slumping back against the wall behind him.

“i don't know what i would've done. hank would've been really in for it then if you had died.”

your heart softened at his words, it wasn't often he was all mushy and affectionate with you but you took it in gratefully, your face flushing slightly.

you're not sure where you got the surge of confidence from, probably from the fact you almost died less than two hours ago, but you were sick and tired of dancing around your feelings for him. if what happened today wasn't a big enough sign you need to get over it and just tell him how you feel, you don't know what was.

“man, i hate that word.”

he raised a brow in confusion as he looked at you.

“what word?”

“friend.”

the look on his face changed from one of confusion to one of slight shock, as he tried to decipher what you meant.

“uhh, come again? did you hit your head or something when you fell?”

“no, you asshole.” you spat with a smile, shaking your head

“i'm sick of being your friend, i dunno if it's because i was this close to dying today or what but it's made me realise that i'm done pretending like i don't want to be more than just your friend.”

you explained, suddenly feeling very small under his gaze as he watched you speak with slightly parted lips, his own face growing hot at your words.

“i like you, minho. i like you a lot, actually. not to get all cheesy, but i hate how much i like you.”

for the first time since he entered the med-hut, minho smiled. the type of smile that brought out his dimples and made his eyes disappear, the type of smile you liked seeing on him the most.

“yeah?” he said simply.

“yeah.”

he wasted no time in pushing himself forward from his position on the bed and leaning on the ground in front of you, cupping your face in his hands and closing the gap between the two of you with a kiss.

due to you both being inexperienced teenagers, it was a little awkward at first, but you both got the hang of it pretty quickly as you melted into his touch.

“hey minho, alby wants-”

clint barged into the med-hut but cut himself off as he looked at the scene in front of him, a smirk appearing on his face.

“well it's about damn time.”

“get outta here, slinthead. i'll be out in a minute.”

clint left and closed the door behind him, rolling his eyes playfully as he did so.

minho turned his attention back to you, bringing his hands down from your face to rest on both of your thighs.

“does… does this mean you're my girlfriend?” he asked, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“i mean i'd say so, yeah.” you shrugged.

“holy shuck, you're my shucking girlfriend.”

“yeah i am, ‘n you're my boyfriend.”

hi hiii !!! this is my first x reader fic AHHHH it was so so fun to write minho is my bae .... if u liked pls give me some requests on what else i should write !!! tmr is my main thing rn and minho is my fav but i'll try my best to write for any of the characters bc they are all my babies

note; this is proofread but like . if u do happen to see a mistake no u don't

#minho tmr x reader #minho tmr #minho x reader #tmr minho #tmr x reader #the maze runner x reader #the maze runner fic #minho fic #rioxna

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dean-a-mean-tae · 5 months

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Fourth Cat | Stray Kids Extra Member AU

Nicholas has some weird habits, and everyone loves them.

WARNINGS: Second-hand embarrassment?

@cafekitsune made the dividers | Nicholas Ross Master List

It's official. Nicholas Ross is a humanoid version of a cat. His slow blinking, the napping in the sun, and random attacks are all cat energy. Orange cat energy, but still cat energy all the same.

It didn't help that Nicholas was quiet around strangers but chaotic around family. Zooming through the hallways whenever his body allowed him to. He was running and jumping onto the nearest person on the couch. He would curl up in their laps, so they had no choice but to pay attention to him.

Everyone was on stage during a break. Minho, Jisung, and Felix were near the front, messing with STAY. Hyunjin was watching Seungmin fiddle with a hat someone threw on stage. Jeongin and Changbin were running around the stage, shooting bubble guns.

Meanwhile, Chan stood in the middle of the stage, watching everyone with his hand in Nicholas' hair. The taller man was sitting on the floor, leaning against Chan's legs. He looked up and caught Chan staring at him.

They smiled at each other before Nicholas was tackled to the floor by Minho.

Personal space? Never heard of them.

There's another thing Nicholas does that everyone else loves and hates. He steals their clothes and sleeps in them.

Felix is the one who found the secret stash hidden under the sea of plushies in Nick's closet. Hoodies, shirts, and sweaters from each of the members.

"I didn't even know he could fit our clothes," Jisung mumbled, his head tilted in confusion. Next to him, Minho laughed at a pouting Nicholas.

"It's probably why all of the stolen clothes are oversized," Chan explained as everyone laughed at him pulling another stolen sweater from the closet.

Hyunjin was sitting in the closet, digging through all of the clothes for his things. Changbin and Jisung looked at the top of his closet for hidden objects.

"I swear your collection gets bigger each time I come in here," Chan complained, tossing another stuffed animal at Nicholas. He missed the shared look between Jeongin and Nicholas.

Sometimes, when one of the members is showering, Nicholas will sit outside the door or on the floor in the bathroom. He'll either rant to them about things. Or, he will get on his phone and do his own thing. He always leaves right before they get out.

Sometimes, when Nicholas knows one of the others is upset, he'll bring them one of his plushies and a hoodie. If they let him, Nicholas cuddles whoever isn't feeling the best. Most of the time, they will let him. It's rare for him to initiate affection.

You know that thing where cats will do something and then look at you like it's your fault? Yeah, Nicholas does that, too.

"Why are you glaring at me?" Hyunjin asked, laughing at a grumbling Nicholas. They were in the practice room. Nicholas thought it would be a great idea, out of intense boredom, to toss his water bottle at the wall.

On the sixth toss, the bottle busted open and drenched Nicholas' shirt in the water. After getting over the initial shock, he immediately glared at the closest person. Hyunjin.

As soon as Minho walked through the door, he laughed. Nicholas was drenched in water. Thankfully, the water didn't get in his hair, but everywhere else, he was soaked.

"What did you do?" He asked Hyungin. The younger boy huffed as he slumped back against the floor.

"I didn't do anything! He tossed the bottle at the wall, and it exploded," Hyunjin explained.

Minho laughed as he used a towel to help dry Nicholas. "Stop pouting, Flippers. We'll get you some clothes before we leave."

"Thank you," Nicholas whispered, his eyes flickering away from the other men.

It's official. Nicholas Ross really is a humanoid version of a cat.

Nicholas Ross Master List

©️DEANAMEANTAE2023

Tag list: @bada-lee-ily

#deantae nicholas ross #skz 9th member #skz x reader #stray kids 9th member #stray kids x reader #skz x male reader #stray kids x male reader #skz x 9th member #stray kids extra member #stray kids with the 9th member #stray kids x oc #skz x oc #skz imagines #stray kids imagines

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caesarflickermans · 1 month

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thg fans, we need to talk about the "rose map".

with TBOSAS, a new Panem map emerged diverging from previous map iterations. Fans have attempted to explain the stylistic difference as either a Capitol map or an in-universe artistic interpretation resembling a rose.

however, this map resembles a popular fan-made map. let's finally address this.

[image id: two pictures of a map. the first map has been made by a fan with its social media links included. the second map is titled "history of panem". the first map has several districts marked in a circular form moving inward toward the capitol. the second map is a similar design with the same shapes moving toward an inner centre. it's red colour makes it look like a rose]

Note the resemblance of the District placements and their shapes. District 4 and its island are especially noteworthy.

the original artist has spoken out today on a reddit post. this is their statement:

Hi, I'm aimmyarrowshigh who created this map, and I just wanted to thank you for pointing out here and when it was originally revealed that Lionsgate stole it from me. They never contacted me to ask about using my Panem map (even though it is copyrighted as part of The Panem Companion) and did not give me any credit for its use. If they wanted to use it as the TBOSAS map, I would have gladly worked with them to update it to their design specs in exchange for whatever they paid their graphic designers and an acknowledgement in the end credits! I would have been thrilled! But instead, they stole it without any regard, and they're ignoring the Cease & Desist sent by my lawyers. (I am being aided by the legal team at the OTW.) I am so disappointed by their decisions regarding this issue, from the initial choice to use it without just... asking... or even informing me... to their refusal to admit that they did such a thing. The fact that the graphic design company quietly removed it from IG after Lionsgate got the C&D, yet they still aren't going to give any credit or compensation for its use, is kind of depressing. I think I can probably speak for any fan artist or meta writer in saying that having one of my crazy ideas made canon is super cool, and if they had asked me whether they could use my map design, I would have said yes AND probably been a lot cheaper than whoever they paid to steal it, just because I would have been so chuffed to see it in the movie. I'm kind of heartbroken that they didn't respect it, or me, enough to just... shoot me an email. You know? I know some people will probably reply and say "it's just a fanwork" or "you made it 13 years ago, get over it" or something like that, but fanworks are made out of pure love for the thing (in this case, THG) and Lionsgate took advantage of my love for THG to earn a little more money directly (on merch) and indirectly (in the movie itself). That's gross, imo. Just because it's a fanwork doesn't mean it isn't the intellectual property of the person who created it -- and especially in the case of something like this map, which exists specifically because it DIDN'T exist in canon at the time I created it. Anyway, tl;dr: yes, they stole it, and thank you for pointing that out so consistently.

what to do as fans?

boycott the "rose" map. do not buy the map / do not promote it / raise awareness / share this post.

uplift fan work. support fans / share & credit fan work.

supporty aimmyarrowshigh. buy or talk about the panem companion / share the original map.

#thg #the hunger games #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #everlark #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow #snowbaird #annie cresta #finnick odair #odesta #haymitch abernathy #effie trinket #hayffie

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railingsofsorrow · 10 months

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New Traditions

[spencer reid x reader]

summary: you bring him coffee from his favorite coffee shop, he brings you your favorite blueberry muffins. it's a silent routine you've established with one another. but maybe, just maybe, you'd like something more than coffee and muffins during work hours. and maybe, just maybe, he'd like that too.

or. . . in which this is a sequel to this blurb.

pairing: s.reid x gn!reader

w.c: 4K

warnings/content: spencer & reader being a Simp ™ for e/o; discussion regarding addictions and intoxication; expectations being uphold; friendly banter; I love you but I'll never admit it trope (hang tight with me); self-doubts; language; fluff fluff fluff; making out.

A/N: I guess this can be read as a standalone but it'd make more sense if you read this one first. enjoy!

navi

masterpost

━━━━━━━━━━━━

When Spencer arrived in the Bureau that morning, he did his usual ritual: place his satchel on his chair and retract immediately to the pantry to make his coffee. He couldn't function without it. Actually, he was pretty certain no one in his team could function in the morning without any type of caffeine. Some of the times, when he was the first to arrive — it's rare, Hotch is always there — he'd prepare a coffee pot, fill up his mug, add seven sachets of sugar and cream, and leave it there for whoever wanted it.

It was the same thing every day. His routine was drab but he liked it the way it was.

Spencer wouldn't consider himself a person inclined to changes. Everybody knows that and everybody is used to it. But he's accustomed to it. He's came around to the fact that life comes with lots of surprises and unexpectancy, even if he's not fond of it, he's gotta take it and stop whining about it.

You were the change that made him not despise surprises that much. Your arrival at the BAU was one of the best choices the department made. To the team. And to him, of course. Not that he'd ever tell you that.

It changed how he felt listened. He was used to being brushed off by his co-workers whenever he started rambling, so much so that he begin to contain his urges to spurt out statistics in random conversations. Then, you came along and actually paid attention to what he was saying in these moments. In every moment, precisely.

You wouldn't stop asking him about the history of the movies and the snacks they were selling during that night at the Korean Festival. It was a week ago. He wished he could come back to that day and see your mesmerized face as he explained details of the culture.

He had so much fun. He didn't do it a lot; hanging out. Being with people was totally tangent to his comfort zone. Spencer cherished his alone time. The silence, the peace and the no-need-to-pick-up-on-social-cues part — he was really bad at the latter.

But he loved spending time with you. He'd like to do it more often. If only he was able to stop hyperventilating and shaking whenever he thought about asking you out.

Not as a date. As friends. Because that's what you were.

Definitely not as a date.

That morning, when he arrived at his desk, a coffee sat upon it. Remember those changes he mentioned? Yeah. This is one of them. You started bringing him coffee from his favourite coffee shop near Quantico. And it was his exact order.

He felt his heart swell every time he'd see your messy handwriting in the cup holder.

“Did you know that Mr. Oscar Wilde had a photographic memory? He was able to remember long passages and then effortlessly recall them later. That reminded me of you. Although I'm sure you certainly can remember three entire books from the 1st page to the last one and quote the whole thing. Wilde would be jealous, Spence.”

Ps: I know photographic memory and eidetic memory are two different things, it just reminded me of you :)

Since the beginning of the week you had this little thing going on. He didn't know what it was, he didn't know if you knew what it was. But you'd bring him coffee with random curiosities and he'd bring you blueberry muffins with quotes from your favorite poets.

“What's that smug grin for?” His neck snapped up at the voice, Derek was sipping on his coffee with a curious look. He was sizing him up.

“Nothing.” Spencer smoothly covered your little note with his hand and took a sip of the beverage. Eyes shutting in delight. Fuck. How can you do everything right? This is perfectly sweetened. “We got a case?” He mentioned Penelope walking straight to the conference room, distracting himself from the obvious profiling Derek was doing.

“Yeah.” Derek clicks his tongue against his palate, tilting his head. “Pretty boy...”

“What?” Spencer gave him an innocent look, grabbing his stuff. “We should go.”

Derek chuckled behind him, “You're not slick, Reid. I can see it!”

“What are you talking about?” He shrieked out, taking a seat across from Emily while carefully placing his cup on the table. Garcia was already preparing the images to detail the case.

Derek pointed at him and mouthed I see you before sitting down beside Hotch, JJ taking the seat at his right. The middle of his forehead twitched slightly when he didn't see you. Were you late? Did something hold you up? No. You had brought his coffee, you must be—

“Morning, Reid.”

He just had to look at his side. Your soft smile greeting him. He's going to have a great day.

“Good morning,” he replied, the corner of his lips quirking up when he saw the brand sticker on your coffee cup. Seems like it wasn't just his favorite place anymore. The little bag inside his satchel didn't have a chance to meet your hands yet, he'd usually put beside your computer as soon as he arrived.

He'd have to give it to you later. He knows you don't like having any breakfast in the morning. But you still shouldn't spend the day on coffee and an empty stomach.

Fortunately or not, it was a local case, so you didn't need the jet this time. You ended up stuck in the Geographical profile while everyone else head down to the ME's office. Penelope abandoned her cave to keep you company.

“Hey,” she called out, not looking up from her laptop. By the long time you knew your friend, if there was one thing she could do, that thing was multitasking. Don't fool yourself thinking that she wasn't paying attention to everything that's going on around her just because she's focused on something else. Sometimes, you convicted yourself that she was a robot.

“Yeah?” Your eyes lingered on the board before you drifted to her. “What's up?” you questioned while picking up your water bottle.

“Is there something going on between you and our resident genius?”

Luckily enough, you hadn't drank anything yet or you'd probably have choked up with the accusation.

“What do you mean?” You guped down the water quietly, feeling your neck heat up. Now, she was looking at you, a smirk dancing on her features as if she knew something you didn't.

“You and Reid.” She kept on typing, and clicking clicking clicking. “What happened in the film festival. You went together, right?”

You hummed, turning back to the triangulation process you were trying to finish. There was just one area missing, you couldn't see the pattern but you had a hunch.

“So, what happened?”

“We watched the movie. What else is there to do in a film festival?

Penelope clicked her tongue together, “Uh-uh. I see what you're doing. But watching the movie doesn't give you that stupid smile you have plastered on everytime he's around. And you brought him coffee, I noticed. I saw it.” Well shit. “Not to mention that's not the first time you do that either, missy.” She was pointing her sparkly pen at you and you had to hold yourself back from laughing. That was a threat in Penelope Garcia's style.

“Friends can treat each other, Penelope.”

“Sure they can,” she nodded vehemently. “Just as people on a relationship do as well.”

The heat lifting up your neck was enough for you to curl into yourself in the chair. You pushed a photo into her hands, clearing your throat awkwardly. “I need you to find info about this guy, please. Brian Englebert, I'll go... I have to... yeah.”

Penelope's giggling was the last thing you heard as you left the room.

Falling in love is like a drug addiction.

According to some researches, falling in love with someone gives you the same sensation as feeling addicted does; the release of euphoria and triggering of brain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and others. Ergo, the more time you spend with this person, the more addicted you will become.

Spencer knows all about addictions. How it can affect your brain and your life in general. He's also aware that if you just ignore it, without the rightful treatment, it will just proceed to get worse.

Ah, there's also that. Spencer is awfully good in ignoring things. Pretending they aren't there. But when something is imbedded into his brain, continuously causing his synaptic connections to go haywire, he can't just keep ignoring it, can he?

Because looking at you from the bullpen entrance, happily eating your muffins as you surveyed some files in your desk... that made him feel something. That made his heart to want to burst out of his chest. How is this possible? Why is his face heating up? Why is his mouth dry? Is he about to die?

“Wilde was also considered a genius back on his days. I believe that he would also be considered a genius today given his literary accomplishments and the way he spoke loudly about banned topics.” He gulped down the rock in his throat while licking his dry lips. You looked over your shoulder, mid-bite into the muffin when your eyes crinckled up by your smile. At him. You were smiling at him. Were you happy that he was there? Or was he being a nuisance by interrupting your snack break?

He couldn't stop talking and when he was about to begin another monologue, you cut him off.

“You don't believe in the genius terminology, do you?” You spoke, politely cleaning the corners of your mouth with a napkin even if they were perfectly clean. “You've mentioned it before.”

You pay attention to what he says too. How could he not fall for that?

“No,” he says, quietly sitting down in a chair that you had pulled closer to yours. “The methods to classify someone as a genius usually refer to high IQ or when one has great accomplishment in science or related areas.” He declined when you offer a muffin to him, a smile spreading around his face. “There's a lot of people who have made great accomplishments in many other areas, like music or art. They don't get the same recognition though,” he shrugged, fidgeting with his satchel. “I just think it's unfair.”

You nodded, thoughtfully, “That makes sense. I hadn't thought through this perspective yet.” Your attention lowered back to your desk and he thought he had lost your attention until you pulled up a blue post-it. His face reddened immediately. “No other word makes my mouth as tender as your name.” You recited, a warm feeling embracing your heart, when your eyes locked with his, you exhaled softly. “How did you know? I never mentioned this book to you, nor the author.”

It was your favourite book from all times. You had found it in an old bookstore on your hometown, it was your last purchase before you moved away. It's the last memory you made there. You never spoke about it. It's kind of the secret you keep to you from someone you no longer knew but craved once in a while.

“You have it with you all the time,” Spencer said timidly, eyes nervously shifting away from your gaze. “You—You were reading on the jet once and I saw the title and I always see it on your bag when you're fixing it in your desk and—” after a sharp inhale, he started gesticulating with his hands. “Not that I go through your stuff or anything! I saw see it really quick I didn't even touch—”

“Spence.”

“... because it's not mine! And it would be really impolite for me to do so—”

“Spence?”

“I swear I'd never purposely go through your stuff, Y/N—”

“Spencer,” your tone was soft but stern, at least to convey you needed him to stop talking without sounding rude. His lips clipped shut and his cheeks were pink with shame. Rambling. You finally got tired of it, he was waiting for it to finally happen— “Hey. I didn't imply that you went through my stuff,” you said calmly with a smile lifting the corners of your mouth, reaching out to him with your hand. You waited until he grasped yours, a silent request for consent to touch him since you knew he wasn't very fond of it. “I'm just kind of... flattered? That you pay attention. I didn't know I was interesting enough for you to notice these things, Doctor Reid.”

“You're the most interesting person I've ever met.”

He didn't realize until it was out and then he looked down at your hands in embarrassment. You chuckled softly, playing with his fingers on yours. He's so lovely.

“You're the most interesting person I've ever met, too, Spencer.”

He blinked up at you, surprise traveling across his features. “I am? Me?”

Fondness embraced your orbs just as your heart hammered in your chest. Spencer. There's so much you don't know. So much that you've no idea. . .

“Mhm.” You hummed, pulling one of his unruly stands behind his ear. Spencer almost melted when your hand grazed his cheek. “You, Spencer Reid. You've no idea how much I learn with you every day and how it amazes me, don't you?”

Spencer was out of words for the first time in his life.

Your finger trailed down his cheek, the middle of your forehead creasing slightly. “You're amazing.” But you don't know that. You don't realize that. Why?

Air didn't reach his lungs and Spencer felt like hiding and never letting go of you at the same time. Oh, it's been so long since he felt like that. . . It was almost too great to love someone that was good to you. A healthy love — Yes, it is love, he admits it now. He can be a fool no more — It seemed foreign. The idea. Spencer never thought he deserved much than what he had and what he received. But maybe, maybe he did. Could he deserve you?

He decided to be bold. “You—” but Aaron Hotcher cut him off and all his courage went down the drain. Seems like the universe wanted to joke with him. He was a fool, afterall.

“Go home,” Hotch walked by, pointing at the manila files on your desk and then at you and Spencer. “Get some rest, the two of you.”

When you looked around, there was just you and Spencer in the bullpen — and Anderson, because you were sure he never really left the precinct. You'd find all of his stuff somewhere in the pantry — Everyone must have gone home, already. The Bureau was slightly frightening when it was a deserted island. It reminded you a lot of a liminal space.

You obeyed your boss. By the time you cleaned up your desk, Spencer was gone. Disappointment taking over your features. Well, what did you expect? It's not like it was his obligation to wait for you. He wasn't your boyfriend. He wasn't your anything. You had no right to put expectations on him.

Stepping into the parking lot, the cold breeze immediately involved your body. Too bad you had chosen to wear a tank top exactly today. It was warm in the morning!

“Did you know that approximately 28 million people read poetry in America?” You jumped in your spot, gasping at the silhouette beside your car where you were about to get in.

Spencer gave you a little wave.

“You...” a relieved sigh escaped you, shoulders descending. “You scared me, Spencer.”

“Sorry.” He said sheepishly, pulling at the strap of his satchel. “Ehm, t-this number doubled up in the age range of 18 to 24. It's proven that—uh, social media actually helped the growth of these numbers. It pushed people's interests into poetry a lot more.”

You stared at him in complete bewilderment. Your mind was working fast to seek out an answer for his rambling, but you were so confused that you just stayed quiet. And he gave you a grimace.

“I'm being weird.” Spencer nodded, “I know. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay—”

“I'm just trying to tell you something— ask, yeah, ask you something but that's what came out. I am so sorry. I should go, yes, I should—”

You leaped forward, surprising even yourself from the move. You had grabbed his wrist and quickly retracted your hand. “Sorry.” you apologized, biting your lip. “I— you can ask, Spencer. I was just a little confused.”

He let out a long sigh, his hands were shaking and they were starting to sweat too. But he told himself that this is when he stops being a fool.

“I'm a mess.” Yes, great way to start. “I'm a mess because I don't know how to stop talking. I don't understand social cues — I'm actually getting better at that — and I'm still scared of the dark. I have to sleep with a lampshade on. That's embarrassing.” his knuckles were turning white from how hard he was holding his shoulder strap. “I'm not great at letting people be there for me because I've been taking care of myself my whole life, I don't see the appeal in letting anyone in, it's too much work. My brain doesn't stop, I'm always thinking and it tires me out. Sometimes I wish it all went silent. I don't have a favourite book, I've read many great ones and I find it unfair with the authors to just choose one. So I don't.” For the first time since he started talking, he breathed in. You took a step forward, expecting him to just crumble down in front of you. Where was he getting with this? You wanted so badly to hug him but you didn't know if he wanted it and you weren't given an opening to ask. He didn't let you. “I don't know how to love.” That made you frown. Before you could retort, he carried on. “I've learned there's no pattern for it and people are different everywhere. I can't plan it, I can't see the numbers. I can't control people because they aren't meant to be controlled.”

Your eyes softened. “No, no they aren't, Spence. And it's okay, you know? You don't have to plan everything.” you finally spoke as he let you. But he didn't seem to be finished so you remained quiet. You didn't expect him to take your hand in his, to which he chuckled nervously at your startled reaction.

“But I think... I think I'm starting to love you.” What was breathing? You never learned. “I'm not sure if that's the right thing to say when I'm trying to ask you out—”

“You want to ask me out?” The failed tone made his face fall and you shook your head vehemently, pulling him towards you. “That's not how I meant it! I just— God, Spencer. Do you want to give me a heart attack?” you exclaimed. “I wasn't expecting this.”

He frowned, looking down at your hands to avoid looking into your eyes. “What were you expecting?”

“Rejection,” you said, earning a look of confusion. Then, enlightenment and them disbelief. It was cute to watch him tech the conclusion. “It was a clear setting in my head so I never tried.”

“Why would I ever reject you? I've lov— I've had a crush on you since the moment you stepped into my sight.” Spencer added, covering his slip-up but you noticed it. You didn't comment on it, you'd wait for the right time. “Do you—does that mean that you feel the same?”

A breathy laugh left your lips. “Oh, Spence.” you approached him slowly, hand raising to his cheek. He leaned in, eyes fluttering shut and you smiled. “I feel more than the same. I feel everything for you.” And I'm starting to love you too.

His eyelashes tinkled against your hand before he lifted his gaze to you, he was trying to avoid breathing just like you were. Afraid this moment would be lost in the wind by a single action. Spencer's eyes drifted down to your mouth.

“Can I—”

“Do it.”

Your lips didn't crashed together. They met in the middle, carefully joining into one space. It didn't felt as if you've been waiting for this — the both of you — it was a perfect pace. That until your body was being pressed against your car and his hands were roaming all over you. You needed to breathe, as much as you didn't want to.

“Hi.” You whispered, cracking a smile as you stared down at his swollen lips. Your hands pressed against his chest.

He sighed, burying his face into the croak of your neck. “Hi.”

A chuckle made your body shake slightly and his hold on you tightened.

“You just kissed me like that and you're suddenly shy?” You teased, fingers caressing the back of his neck. “Is that all an act to make me fall for you? It's working.”

“Shut up,” he mumbled with a shake of his head, leaning back to meet your eyes. You studied the glint in his hazel orbs with a warm feeling spreading on your chest. “I've just— I've wanted to do that for a long time.”

You quickly peck his lips, cupping his face as your features turned serious. Even if you couldn't stop smiling.

“I've wanted to do that just as long, Spencer. Trust me.”

You know when wine makes you less inhibited? A few too many glasses can make you less serious, less controlled. Alcohol causes the oxytocin levels of one's body to increase, which is why people tend to feel more confident and comfortable while drunk. Spencer understood now all of those researches that talked about how being in love can make you feel as if you're drunk. Because he was drunk and he was completely addicted to you at that moment.

“Ask the question, Doctor Reid.” You traced the tip of his nose and chuckled as he scrunched it.

“Ask what question?”

“The one you came after me for.”

“Oh.” you were able to feel his fingers nervously shifting against the exposed skin of your tank top. “I... Mhm.” He gulped, gaze meeting yours apprehensively. “Would you like to go on a date... with me? You don't have to say yes. Don't feel obliged to because—”

“Because you just took all my breath away?” You learnt that you loved to make him blush. “I'd love to go on a date with you, Spencer.” you said softly.

His eyes widened in surprise, “Really?

“Yes.” you assured him, tucking a curl behind his ear. “So, is there another film festival I don't know about?”

His eyes brightened in excitement and you knew he was about to talk your ear off about something. And you couldn't wait for him to start. That was something you could easily get addicted to: his ramblings and his kisses.

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A/N: anybody recognise the book quote on the blue post-it? 👀

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sources: [1] [2]

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taglist: @lilyviolets

#spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff

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devildomwriter · 6 months

Text

Horror Movie Marathon: They React to Llamageddon

Lucifer

• He does not want to watch it but he wants to know why the hell you want him to.

• He is completely blocking this out, he will pretend to watch it when you’re looking at him but he’s really thinking about tracking down whoever wrote this.

• Sax music has been ruined for him for a long time to come.

• “The llama did a fine job” is his only commentary.

• You should watch whatever he wants next if you want him to sit through this

Mammon

• He’s laughing so hard.

• He’s looking up how much a movie of that quality made because he knows he can outdo it.

• He finds it genuinely funny, like what the fuck are they doing? He never knows what’s gonna happen next. Will the llama smoke weed or bitch slap someone? You literally never know.

• Mammon, being himself, doesn’t look at Llamas the same way after the movie

Leviathan

• He’s never even seen hentai this level of weird—possibly?

• He’s gawking at the screen and not even eating the popcorn, just looking horrified

• “Why is that animated? Of course there’s tentacles!?”

• He keeps criticizing the camera positioning and making wild hand gestures

• What the hell did you get him to watch? The llama is pretty funny though. “Yeah! Kick the normie’s heart out”

• He no longer feels ashamed of his anime choices because he just had to watch a llama/human birth scene or whatever that was supposed to be

Satan

• He’s judging you so hard. How did you even find this movie and why would you watch it with him?

• He’s wondering if these people are serious through the entire film

• “Why is that one guy wearing a different shirt in literally every shot?”

• “How would the llama know to throw something electoral in the hot tub? And it does not take that long to die from electrocution.”

• He only enjoys the llama killing people and feels bad when the llama is killed.

• “I have no words…” he is not letting you pick out the next movie

Asmodeus

• “Literally what the fuck am I watching? Is that supposed to be a sex scene???”

• “Why the fuck is there so much sax music, it’s not that sexy! What’s happening?”

• “Eventually he just starts talking to the movie because he can’t sit and watch it seriously.”

• Horrified gasps and fake faints throughout the movie.

• “Poor llama! Those weird people deserved that!”

Beelzebub

He’s just watching. He honestly doesn’t care about quality, he’s here for a story which kind of happens.

The blood made him hungry for meat so now he’s got steak in addition to popcorn

Wonders if space llamas taste any good. They might be spicy if they can blow stuff up.

He really doesn’t have an opinion he just can’t figure out what happened and why.

Belphegor

• “The fuck did you put on…”

• Tries to go to sleep but it’s so weird he can’t take his eyes off screen and that kind of annoys him because it’s just so bad and it’s completely on purpose

• Has a personal grudge against the director but is laughing so hard when someone gets blown up by the CGI lasers.

• He’s secretly rooting for the llama because he thinks its fluff might be comfortable

• He has some weird dreams about llamas for a few nights after

Solomon

• Straight up says “no” he’s not watching it but he ends up doing so anyway when you beg him to watch it with you

• He’s not enthused and is hoping chewing his food will tune the sound out but the weird sex scenes and close ups have him choking on the food.

• “I’ve watching humanity grow for so long and accumulates…to this…”

• He does laugh at some point because it’s just so stupid is funny. He’s dying because how is this a movie?

• And then it gets even weirder and he’s sighing into a pillow and hiding his laughter

Thirteen

• Immediately tries to turn it off unless you tell her there’s some good traps in the movie

• She’s waiting for them impatiently but she does get a few—very violent ideas

• “Why’d that girl’s face never change. She’s not even acting? Why’s that guys shirt keep changing? No one kisses like that!? What is this!? MC—“

• She’s never watching a movie you recommend again unless it’s reviews are near-perfect

• She wanted to llama to win because the humans were too annoying

“I wonder is Solomon would survive a turbine?”

Simeon

How dare you play a movie with sex scenes while Simeon is there and they’re not even sexy, it’s weird as hell.

• They’re throwing a party at the home someone was murdered in?

• What are you showing him. It just keeps getting weirder, and is that a fluffy egg? Is that human birthing a egg!???

• He’s got a pillow to the chest. He’s not scared, he’s so incredibly weirded out he’s kind of frozen.

• He does not let you pick out the next movie, he needs to pet real llamas to get over that weird movie.

• Tells you this movie is why you shouldn’t do drugs. You should also start avoiding other humans.

Raphael

• He’s giving you a lot of judgmental looks

• “Someone was just murdered there and they’re having a party?”

• The weird close ups and tongue wagging gross him out.

• If you find a mysterious substance on a tree, do not emerge yourself in it? He’s shaking his head so much.

• He feels bad for the llama because it did nothing wrong and has to hang out with loud college kids

• Mildly amused by the dads parting words of how to kill future space llamas and then there’s cries of more. He hopes that means they’re won’t be a sequel.

Mephistopheles

• A stupefied expression on his face the whole time.

• Is this a joke or are they trying to be serious because he can’t decided and he wants to strangle the actors—his standards are way too high for b horror movies

• This human government has the worst investigative skills ever. Why would they leave the remains of the ship? How did they not see the goo? Are they really just not doing to address a fluffy egg?

• This is why he doesn’t attend college parties, are they all this weird. Have the humans truly lost it.

• How dare they disrespect sax music.

• His investigative method will lead him to find the real names of the actors and personally chastise them

Barbatos

• Each time something cringey happens he takes a good long look at you, judging your choice in movies

• Why would you show this to him? Why was this even made

• He doesn’t even have the energy to sigh while watching this.

• If he goes to make tea and you pause the movie until he gets back he will be internally very upset but try not to show it

• Even a time lord does not have the time for this movie but he sits there anyway, mostly looking at you as you die laughing from its stupidity.

Diavolo

• It’s so bad he’s laughing. They know what they’re doing, it’s crap and they’re embracing it.

• Only enjoys the llama and the bad special effects

• He literally won’t stop laughing.

• He feels like the actors are his friends goofing off behind the camera and it’s bringing tears to his eyes.

• He assigns them random names, “no, the llama got John!”

• “…is he….turning into a llama? Oh now it’s animated… oh no…is he giving birth?”

• Ever the optimistic he gives them an A for effort and is still laughing long after the movie is over.

• “Humans are so interesting…”

#obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me mammon #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #obey me raphael #obey me thirteen #obey me barbatos #obey me horror movies #obey me headcanon #obey me headcanons #funny obey me #weirdest movie I’ve ever seen

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alchemie-tarot · 1 year

Text

A Love Letter For You

Happy Valentine’s Day! The soft romantic in me has been waiting for such an opportune time 💌🌹💐🍫 For all my champions of self-love out there, focusing on themselves, I just want to remind you that you can go on your healing journey and still have someone special in your life. Doesn’t have to be romance. Any kind of love boils down to connection.

Feel free to choose a pile/s that calls out to you. Some details may not resonate since this is a general reading. As always, nothing is set in stone, so please don’t take it too seriously. Go on, love. 💝

Note: I take way too many pictures of flowers I see on trips.

Pile 1

The Lovers (back of the deck), 2 of Wands, The Empress, The Tower

Okay, WOW, what cards to begin with for a love letter! Big time SOULMATE energy. The Lovers already peeked at me twice before I officially started to shuffle. Whoever this is, they want to reach out to you badly. Bonus: my neighbors started to sing Valentine by Jim Brickman on karaoke while I was interpreting. PLEASEEE.)

“My love,

You are so beautiful to me. The moment our eyes meet, I can’t help but see stars in the best way– I am struck with an overflowing affection for you. Your gaze draws me in and humbles me at the same time. I love looking at you, at your face and your body. I like taking in every single inch of you, filling my vision with only you. Being with you inspires me. You’re radiant and you have so much going on for you. You can make me appreciate any small, insignificant thing about our world.

You may have felt some distance between us as of late. I do not mean to stay away from you– in fact, I want to be closer to you, but taking a step back is my way of looking at things clearly and objectively. The truth is, my feelings for you are so strong, it terrifies me. I want to sweep you off your feet. That is why right now, I am gathering my confidence and coming up with a plan to impress you. It may sound corny, but I really want to shake your world, the same way you have to mine.

You’re my queen / king. My all-or-nothing. You and I have so much potential, my love. I apologize if I appear indecisive to you. There are things about myself I need to conquer first before I can fully offer myself to you. I don’t want anything false to stand in the way– I want to unite with you in the barest of both our truths so that we can stand the test of time.

I will make my choice soon, and I will let you know. I hope you can wait for me.

Your soulmate”

Pile 2

The Sun (back of the deck), 10 of Cups, Knight of Cups, 4 of Swords

Honestly, can it get any more romantic than this? Pile 2, this letter is from your happy pill. I feel that this is the pile for those who have gotten together recently–honeymoon vibes. For a few, you could already be engaged to this person, actually, or someone you’re in a warm and stable long-term relationship with. The emotions are strong without a doubt. Lovely intuitive energy.

“Darling,

The sun has never shone so brightly than when we’re together. I began to see and appreciate the world once you have stepped into it and made it colorful with your sheer presence. Honestly, I feel like a child, seeing everything with fresh eyes. I’m convinced that you’re the other half of my heart that completes me, at the same time you make me see myself as my own kind of whole, like I’m invincible. I picture paradise with your face and beautiful eyes in my mind.

Romancing you is my favorite thing to do. Whoever said that chivalry is dead? I admit, I’m not usually one to get out of my way to make moves, until you. The garden of my imagination grows whenever I think of ways to make you laugh. It’s a wonder that you give me feelings I’ve never had before, yet these emotions flow surely, delicately, in a river that only leads to you.

Now, however, my dear, I feel that we should not rush and slow down a little. As much as I want to be in everlasting bliss with you, I feel that we should be careful not to get carried away. It’s important that we’re grounded and not overwhelmed. I don’t mind having a little quiet, so this is my way of sitting with you and holding your hand in the absence of words between us.

I hope you always remember that you’re the love and light of my life. I’ll never leave you alone.

Your person”

Pile 3

The Fool (back of the deck), Death, The Chariot, The Hierophant

Hey there, Pile 3. This person has a spontaneous and easily excited energy. Your relationship seems to be in a kind of transition right now, one that is uncomfortable and maybe even painful (I’m sorry to hear that. Hang in there). What I can say is, they’re quite focused on you right now, though they are working on themselves. Above all, they just want to be on the same page as you.

“Sweetheart,

I know I haven’t been the most reliable person lately. I am a self-proclaimed fool who gets bright-eyed at shiny things that catch my attention. Do you know that you’re the first person who’s made me feel like this? I’m suddenly aware of how fickle I can be. This feeling of innocence can only be so sweet until I get my head down from the sky and see the reality that my behavior was already pushing you away from me.

I’m so sorry. I want to change and do right by you– show you action that is truly aligned with my honest intentions for you. You illuminated my faults that I now want to mature and be wiser from. I want to be worthy of holding your heart. I know that between us, we’re not really in the best place right now, but you know… I don’t need the rest of those shiny things. You’re the one I want. I think you and I are meant to be.

I want to reconcile our differences and finally release the past that doesn’t have to dictate our future. Commitment is not an easy road, I know, especially for someone with a nature like mine, but I hope you believe me when I say that I do want the real deal with you, everything. And I hope you will still accept me despite me being rough around the edges.

From, Me”

Pile 4

Judgment (back of the deck), Queen of Cups Rx, Queen of Pentacles, 7 of Cups Rx

You seem to have quite a deep bond with this person, Pile 4. A lot of emotions between you, too. I feel that they welcome it, the reflections and awakenings, but they feel overwhelmed about it right now. There’s a prominent feeling of being under a magnifying glass.

“My dear,

Of all the people in my life, it is you who always sees through me, as if I am made of glass. The more I spend time with you, the more I discover things about myself, both good and bad. You’re a force to be reckoned with.

It’s made me kind of awake, and vigilant somehow, but sometimes to the point where I’m walking on eggshells. I know you mean well, and you may not be even entirely aware of your effect on me, but it has taken a toll on my emotions. It pushed me to be more conscious than I should be– I don’t want to be dependent on you like that.

You push me to be a better person and I’m more than grateful for your inspiring presence in my life, but I would like us to return to a more stable ground– one that won’t ask for too much too soon. Let us slow down for a bit, my dear, so we can tackle the bumps along the road one at a time, instead of rushing into a rocky path. I don’t believe our relationship has to have us constantly catching up to one another, but to have us patiently grounding ourselves until we see eye-to-eye, without rose-colored glasses.

I love you. I hope you will be able to accept me not just for who I could be but for who I am right now, in front of you.

Your love”

Pile 5

Knight of Swords (back of the deck), Queen of Swords, 9 of Swords, 6 of Pentacles, 3 of Cups, 10 of Swords

This is from a sharp and driven person, Pile 5. With all these Swords, I believe you have an intellectual relationship with them. A lot of your conversations stimulate you both mentally and you can’t seem to stop talking to each other for real. It’s giving me the trope of two people from a debate club who keep riling each other up. They think very highly of you. You’re also on their mind on loop.

“Hey (your name),

Our banter is one-of-a-kind. It’s always kind of fun talking to you, wanting to know what you think about something or another. Our opinions may clash sometimes but I can’t help but respect you anyway because you’ve never been one to back down. Hell, I always want to impress you. Replaying our conversations in my head keeps me up at night.

I don’t think you see what I genuinely think of you, though. On the outside I may seem cold, but it’s a double-edged sword. I probably worry more about what you really think of me than I should. A lot goes on inside me than I show whenever we interact. Being playfully savage with each other is kind of our thing, but there are some things I take to heart. I’m not even sure how much you meant it, or if this is really just something my mind does now with the way you’re affecting me. It hurts sometimes, you know.

Deep down, I long for you to feel the same admiration for me as I do for you. I want to be seen as an equal by someone so stable, strong-willed and has so much to give like you do. I’m not the only one who wants a taste of you and it’s plain to see why. Most of all, if you permit, I would like to be more than friends with you.

I’m still gonna try to burn the hell out of your argument, though.

From, (their name)”

Pile 6

4 of Cups (back of the deck), 2 of Pentacles, Strength, 7 of Pentacles, The Magician

Oh my, this is someone you wouldn’t have guessed is holding a torch for you! A secret admirer of sorts. They’re very lowkey but seem to be popular in their own way from other people, receiving offers that they only turn down or even pretend not to see. They’re not making any kind of moves but let me tell you, Pile 6, they’re trying really hard not to slip around you. (How sweet! They’re also learning to manifest because of you!)

“Dear (your name),

You may see me as unbothered but really, all it takes is one move. One look, one smile from you, one second to hear your laugh. I thought I had a pretty strong facade, but I have a hard time focusing when you’re near. You may see me for who I really am, a big softie for you, and I’m just not ready for that yet.

You’re so different from me, yet I can see similarities between us. You’re larger than life but I don’t see you making a big deal about it; you’re just… who you are, and you’re amazing. Balanced. Humble. You know when to step forward and when to step back. How do you do it? How do you have all the energy for that– rather, how do you control that energy? As for me, I know I focus way too much trying not to be seen.

I want to get to know you, and I dare say I want to get close to you. I don’t find coming out of my shell easy at all, especially around you, but I believe you’re worth it. I know it takes a lot of time and effort, considering the way I am right now. I’ll keep working on it, I’ll take it one day at a time if I have to. You empower me and make me realize my potential. I’ll do my best to get there. Then I’ll let you know.

Happy Valentine’s Day, From (their name)”

🌹💐🍫 🌹💐🍫

Thank you for taking the time to interact with my reading! I hope this has helped you in one way or another and hopefully sprinkled a little sweetness in your day. Take it easy and stay safe~💝

#pick a card #pick a pile #general reading #pac #tarot #tarot reading #pick a card reading #pac reading #tarotblr #divination #tarot community #love reading #love letter #love message #tarot message #valentines day #valentines reading

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lanawinterscigarettes · 2 months

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Okay, I have a request idea if thats okay. Could I please request a Dhawan!Master x reader where master has found a special plant/ flower or something which alters the perceptions of the person. (Say if an enemy uses it on the victim then the enemy becomes the victims friend (or even more) and they plan to use it on the reader and while it's working/ being used. The reader sees and feels a lavender haze on them and they want more of it. (I had to sneak in a Taylor swift reference)

I'm absolutely obssessed with this idea!! I leaned into the taylor swift reference you slipped in, hence the title lol. writing this was so much fun, I really hope you like it! <3

I feel a lavender haze creepin' up on me (Dhawan! Master x reader)

Warnings: drugging/altering ones brain chemistry via a lavender plant, I think that's about it

The Master was infatuated with you, even though he knew he shouldn't be. For starters, you were a companion to the Doctor, his best enemy; not to mention the fact that you despised him.

He tried to forget about you, but he just couldn't. Something about you seemed to draw him in and left him wanting more. And since you would never just up and leave the Doctor for him, he'd have to resort to other measures to get your attention.

Kidnapping you was an obvious first choice, but he didn't need you hating him more than you already did. While he'd love to just use his hypnosis on you and be done with it, the Doctor had gone to great lengths in order to protect your mind from his persuasions, so he'd have to take a more hands on approach.

He frantically flipped through one of the several books he owned on intergalactic flora, hoping he could find something to help. It was then he stumbled upon something that was akin to a lavender flower, except it could reverse the chemistry of one's brain and make them feel the opposite of what they'd initially felt for whoever gave them the plant.

A devious grin spread across his face as the wheels started to turn in his mind. This was exactly what he needed.

You, meanwhile, were strolling casually throughout a garden full of the exact same plant. The Doctor had to land the TARDIS for repairs, so she'd encouraged you to explore the nearby area while she got them done.

A shiver went down your spine as you suddenly got the feeling that you were being watched. Frowning, you turned and looked behind you but saw no one there. You figured it was just the wind or perhaps a local critter. Until you turned back around to find yourself face to face with none other than the Master himself.

"Oh, great. It's you," you grumbled while rolling your eyes. The Master tried not to appear upset, although he was clearly disappointed you had that kind of lackluster reaction to seeing him.

"Yes, it's me, indeed." He flashed you a bright, charming smile, which did nothing to get rid of the unimpressed look on your face.

"What do you want?" You asked bluntly in an irritated tone, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared at him.

His ego deflated some, but he pushed down his feelings as he presented a lavender bouquet to you. "These are for you, my dear. Here, take them."

You glanced down at the bunch of plants, narrowing your eyes at them suspiciously. "Why? What're giving me these for?"

This was proving to be a tad bit more difficult than he thought. The Master was used to people falling for his charms instantly, but they just didn't seem to work on you.

"I'm giving them to you because a beautiful person deserves beautiful things," he said flirtatiously, doing his best to hide his desperation. He couldn't force you to take them from him: the plant's magical and scientific properties would only activate if you willingly accepted the offer.

You thought he looked a tad bit pathetic, in all honesty. It kind of made you feel bad for him. "If I take these, will you finally leave me alone?" You asked in an exasperated manner.

Eagering nodding his head, The Master grinned. "Of course, darling. Anything for you." It was hard to miss the way you rolled your eyes at him for a second time, but he wouldn't have to worry about your disinterest for much longer.

"Fine." You snatched the bouquet from him, and almost immediately after the power of the plant started to take affect. Your eyes became glazed over as you watched him, feelings blooming in your chest that you'd never felt before.

His eyes were such a gorgeous shade of brown, and with the way his lips looked, all you wanted to do was kiss him. "Wh- Whoa," you muttered to yourself as you deeply inhaled the intoxicating scent of the bouquet in front of you.

Forget seeing through rose colored glasses, right about now you were seeing through lavender lenses. A hazy feeling started to creep up over you as your vision dimmed.

"Are you alright, my dear?" He asked with slight concern, not anticipating the effects of the plant to act so quickly or be so strong.

"You're really amazing, did you know that?" Your voice was a tad bit slurred, almost as though you were tipsy from alcohol. In you opinion, being drunk on the love you felt for him was much better.

The Master beamed with pride as he reached out and took your hand in his, pulling you in close. "Of course I do. You're just as wonderful, might I add."

You let out a giddy laugh in response, your eyes having a purple tint to them on top of their now cloudy look. "We should do something together, just the two of us."

His entire face lit up with joy as he finally had to opportunity to spend time with you in a way that didn't involve you hurling insults at him nonstop. "My dear, I'd love nothing more."

He led you back to his TARDIS, filled with excitement over the idea of you finally wanting him just as much as he did you. It would be quite the surprise for the Doctor when she returned to find her companion had parted ways with her, too awestruck by the feeling of a lavender haze all around them to care.

end notes: I probably shouldn't enjoy writing fics involving the reader being drugged as much as I do lmao

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated <3

Main masterlist | Doctor Who masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

🏷 taglist: @theonetruepotato87 @sessa23

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emblemxeno · 2 months

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Chapter 13 of Fates Revelation is a writing highlight for me.

Corrin: What's going on? They're both blaming each other for this carnage.

Azura: Of course. Kingdoms at war will always twist things to benefit themselves.

Ryoma and Xander-representative of Hoshido and Nohr as a whole-uphold the conflict and status quo of the world they live in. Even if it makes no sense, they accept that they're enemies and an enemy must have done something awful to harm the peace.

Even parts of their battle quotes and end of chapter dialogue emphasize this.

Ryoma: It doesn't matter, Kagero. Anyone who doesn't side with Hoshido is the enemy. What will you be?

Xander: Trust her? Don't be a fool. I won't listen to any more of your lies. You've chosen your side—opposite me. Prepare yourself, Camilla.

Xander: This isn't over! We'll fight to the very last man!

Ryoma: You won't see Hoshido waver! We'll fight until there's no one left!

Xander: Whoever retreats now admits defeat! Nohr will never lose to Hoshido.

Ryoma: This war will continue until we take our last breath!

They are unable to see any part of a conflict as something with them or against them. Nuance and rationality don't sit well in minds stubbornly steeped in years of animosity. War, hatred, and reinforcing the way things are is something both of them are willing to do, because they see no other path or choice for themselves.

Corrin and Azura meanwhile, actively disrupt their world views.

Corrin: ...You may be my brothers, but I won't go easy on you if you try to stop me! Come, everyone! ... Ryoma! Xander! Please, you both have to listen to me! We've defeated the real enemy—you don't need to fight each other now!

Azura: Ryoma, Xander... It wasn't Nohr or Hoshido who destroyed this town. It was done by the invisible forces that we just defeated. Now that they are gone, I will not allow any more senseless violence. I will sing my song as many times as necessary to restore peace. Do you still insist on fighting?

And it's not empty words or cries that fall on deaf ears. Corrin is strong. Her will is iron-clad, and she will ensure her vision of peace is made a reality, no matter who she makes an enemy of. Azura is strong as well. What she lacks in directing a path on her own, she makes up for with raw resilience and no qualms about using her song-something that risks her life-to end things on her terms.

They force their stubborn older brothers to look at things in a different perspective; to stop trying to hack and slash their lives away and consider a bigger threat to what and who they care about.

While they aren't swayed immediately, they're undoubtedly shaken. After that, it takes personal introspection and uncomfortable truths for each of them to swallow their pride and admit their ways are wrong, and to follow Corrin to end a senseless war.

And I love this exchange at the end as well:

Scarlet: Ryoma's talked my ears off about what happened to you as a kid. You sound like an idealistic brat to me. You want to bring peace to the world? Ha!

Corrin: There's nothing idealistic about ending this horrible war.

REJECT 👏🏽THE 👏🏽 STATUS 👏🏽 QUO 👏🏽!

Accusing others of being naive or idealistic for things like this, in my opinion, shows cowardice, or even ignorance; a life that's been beaten down by other upholders of a terrible state of the world until they agree.

Why is it naive to trust people? Why is it idealistic to want something like endless warring to stop?

We're fed a lie as children: "Life's unfair, you can't do anything about it." Says who!? Why accept that life is cruel and unyielding, when there's so much capacity for good in the world? Is life actually unchangeably unfair in its nature, or is it simply malefactors taking advantage of innocent people in order to rise up to slake their own greed?

Once terrible people get in power, they beat down any forms of resistance and feed this very same lie to them. Worse still, they can even convince the masses to discriminate, fight, and kill each other all so they can swoop in during the aftermath and reap the benefits. And people, at their lowest point, take solace in any explanation-no matter how untrue and no matter who it's coming from-in order to have some semblance of control or direction. That forms their new view of the world.

It takes people who haven't been exposed or raised to believe such nonsense (Corrin) and people who are wise enough to recognize the true problems of the world (Azura), to push against this normalized destruction between two innocent groups of people and direct their ire towards the actual oppressor (Anankos).

It's succint, but scathing. The word choice-in both JP and localization-is too deliberate to consider it a coincidence, I genuinely think it's a good criticism of how our modern world works as well. From a philisophical standpoint it is basic, but Fates as a whole also tackles issues of ignorance/discrimination, xenophobia, the boundaries and meanings of family, who defines justice, the belief of many versus the will of the few, embracing consequences instead of running away, and exploring the concept of leadership in general.

For a game this big, IMO, it meets the mark more often than not when considering the points it wants its audience to hear.

#fire emblem fates #fire emblem #ryoma fire emblem #xander fire emblem #corrin fire emblem #azura fire emblem #fe fates #storytelling #were Fates to go deeper with the part of the plot of Anankos needing dragon's blood #to the point where he's hoarding it in order to shape the world to how he wants it #it would take all my strength not to say “oh wow it's the Capitalism Dragon”#but as it is it's a layer to the lore and that's it lol

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ingravinoveritas · 2 months

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So what ur thoughts on the bafias nominations David been nomination for best comedy actor while Michael hasn't been nominated for anything and the fan on twitter can't understand why now I personally think after Al aggressive behaviour on a post when they got his name wrong on his favourite radio station and how her stories on ig recently just werid behaviour do u think Al may had sabotaged his chances of getting a nomination for anything

What ur thoughts

Hi there! So I am once again on the road and attending a conference in Las Vegas that just wrapped up, and now I finally have a chance to comment on today's exciting news.

I'm sure everyone has seen by now, but congrats to our lovely David on his first (main) BAFTA nom for Male Performance in a Comedy!

It seems almost surreal that David has never been nominated for a (main) BAFTA before now, and given the breadth of his other recent TV performances (Des, Litvinenko) nominating him for Good Omens season 2 is certainly a choice...especially in the absence of a nomination for Michael. Looking at the list of nominations, it appears that Best Interests was nominated for Limited Drama, as was Sharon Horgan for Leading Actress...but no nomination for Michael for Leading Actor, either. So very quickly, this starts to look like a visible and intentional snub.

In terms of why Michael would be snubbed, I think there are a few possible reasons, but none of them have anything to do with AL. Readers of my blog know that I am never hesitant to call Anna out when it is merited, but in all likelihood the BAFTA nominations were decided long before now, and in my opinion she would not have any influence on whether Michael is nominated regardless of when her social media posts were made. So it does not make sense to place blame on her in this instance.

My feeling is that the reasons for Michael's lack of a nomination (and really, David's nomination specifically for GO) are likely twofold. One is that I'm guessing Amazon/whoever submitted David for consideration didn't want to pit Michael and David against each other. If they were both competing in the same category, it could split the votes, so only nominating one of them seems the best way of avoiding that. The second reason (again, in my opinion) seems to be political.

I was surprised to recently learn that Prince William is the president of BAFTA--British followers, help me out here, because this is very, very weird to a confused American--and as we know, Michael has spoken out on a number of hot button issues over the last few months: Opening a conversation about Welsh independence. The question of the devolution of the crown estate to Wales. And of course, abolishing the title of Prince of Wales. Not to mention all of the backlash incurred by the release of The Way, which was roundly savaged in the press and accused of promoting anti-English sentiments.

Granted, there have been politically active nominees and winners at the BAFTAs in the past, but it really feels like the combination of all these things is somehow working against Michael. Let's also not forget this epic picture from the BAFTA film awards last month, with Michael giving Wills the side-eyest of Welsh side-eyes:

All this said, it is difficult (if not impossible) to think of Michael and David's performances in GO as separate things, because they are so inextricably intertwined. The reason that we got David's incredible performance as Crowley is because Michael was there as Aziraphale, and vice-versa. I think David and Michael themselves would be the first ones to say it, as well as to be in awe and so supportive of each other's acting. The response of fans to this nomination news--saying Michael is a better actor, Michael deserved to be nominated instead, etc.--is so perplexing to me, because I think he was probably the first one in line to congratulate David, and would chew out anybody who put down David's acting for any reason.

I also think that if the lack of a nomination is due to the above-mentioned political reasons, then Michael is probably wearing it like a fucking badge of honor. I think he is also happier for David than anyone else on the planet right now (because that's his boyfriend, damn it), and I truly hope the stars align and give us Michael presenting David with an award again like at the NTAs in 2021. (Michael subsequently carrying David off the stage bridal style would be the cherry on top of the already extremely homoerotic cake.)

I also feel that there is no question David is as taken aback by his nomination/Michael's lack of a nomination for GO as much as the rest of us are. While I have no idea what David's chances of winning truly are, I think he would wholeheartedly and enthusiastically share that award with Michael. And I think he will share that night with Michael no matter what, regardless of what happens on the broadcast.

So many possibilities come to mind, really. I can imagine David and Michael re-enacting Every (without the heartbreaking bits, of course) on stage. I've seen people making references to the infamous Slow Show fic/how it parallels to real life, and while I've only read part of it (haven't gotten to finish), the thought of any kiss between Michael and David is beyond gorgeous to contemplate. Not for the sake of "content" or as a joke, of course (because I don't think they would be willing to kiss as a joke, because if they were, they would've done it by now), but because we would see a facet to Michael and David's relationship that's always been there in private become public. And it would be their choice to share it with us.

Those are my reactions to the BAFTAs announcement today. I'd love to hear from my followers as well with your thoughts and comments. Thanks for writing in! x

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memes-saved-me · 1 year

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Was Billy (accidentally) written as Steve's next love interest - a Meta

This is far from thought out and more thoughts thrown into a post. This is for fun and an over analysis by someone who did 4 years of media studies and has a major bias so don't take it personally

From the moment of Billy's introduction in season 2 he is put in the background of Steve and Nancy's relationship, even from his very first scene where in which he literally pulls Steve's attention from Nancy just after they have a moment in the car. A moment that takes on a completely different tone once you know Nancy is in fact in love with Jonathan not Steve.

It makes sense for Steve to react to Billy's entrance. Half of Billy's plot is Steve but what is more interesting and doesn't really make sense is that the camera then changes focus to Nancy and stays on her even in the next shot with Steve as an after thought in the background. Her reaction isn't the same either. Steve is somewhat curious but Nancy seems more concerned about whoever the car belongs to. Nancy and Billy never have a single conversation. Ever. So why have her reaction to him be so important to his first ever scene?

This could be read as an indication of a threat to their relationship being shown not told just yet. If Billy was a female character who stepped out of the car in the exact same manner it would be fully done to show her (Billy) as a threat to Nancy's relationship with Steve but since Billy is male it is not. Even then I find showing Nancy a very strange choice.

However, it does lead us into the next example of how strange this entire set up is. When Billy finally approaches Steve at the party, Nancy walks away looking hurt? Which does not add up in the slightest. She should be annoyed but instead she walks away to start drinking. Again if Billy was a girl this would be read as her (Billy) trying to not only intimidate Steve but also Nancy. Which this scene implies but makes no sense because Billy doesn't even look at her.

Nancy then starts to drink heavily to mock and get back at Steve for wanting to come to the party in the first place. Something a jealous upset girlfriend would do in any teen movie if another girl had approached her boyfriend, not if a random teenage boy had. This then leads to their big fight when she pretty much dumps him in the bathroom and Steve storms off upset, mirroring this scene from earlier in the episode. Which only reinforces the Nancy being upset not angry aspect.

Billy's entrance to the show leads to their break up. The domino effect of events makes it so. Would Nancy have started drinking if Billy hadn't approached Steve? Maybe, but we don't know anything except what we are shown by the narrative and the narrative has shown us that Billy is the reason she does. A very strange set up considering this is the last interaction they have until season 3 when she tries to shoot him...

The next day we are shown the iconic homoerotic basketball scene and towards the end we see Nancy walk into the room but Steve doesn't notice as he's too distracted by Billy who is at this point is literally waging his tongue at him. They position Steve in-between the two of them just like at the Halloween party as if he needs to make a choice.

Nancy has to call out for him to see her and he then follows her outside to talk. Said talk does not go so well for her and this time it is Steve who dumps her because she doesn't remember what happened the night before. As I mentioned Steve has a choice to make and unlike at Tina's party when he leaves Billy to run after Nancy, he leaves Nancy to go back inside for Billy after being called for by a member of his team. As if he has narratively made his choice as he doesn't chase after Nancy at all for the rest of the season and accepts their relationship is over.

If you take all of this into a count and then imagine Billy as a female character it would be insane to not picture them in a future relationship from a narrative point of view. The common literature tropes and framing of the set up is so clear that if Billy was a girl her and Steve would have been making out half way through the season or even after gym class (I know they are split by gender humour me). With the added somehow unintentional homoerotism of Billy and Steve's dynamic it only adds to the fact that some of the choices made for their relationship/rivalry build up is so strange.

Please add anything I've missed or forgotten because this drives me insane from a writing and media analysis point of view.

#harringrove #meta #analysis

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