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#why are men so similar everywhere
siriuslynephilim · 10 months
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real
#this is so mind numbingly exhausting i don't understand how everyone else seems to just do it?#it was such a weird day#started out in a good mood but then boss scolded these two interns cause of a mistake#and like he wasn't shouting exactly but he raised his voice and said so many things like you are so careless im suffering so many losses bc#bc of you outsiders are going to think i don't have a good team and i don't have control over my team#and how we should always note things down because we're so distracted and not serious#and how before going home everyday we should report to him what work we did today#i understand that he's being reasonable (maybe? idk) but it sounded so eerily horribly like my dad i couldn't function properly for an hour#why are men so similar everywhere#why am i SO scared i could feel the disappointment radiating off him and he wasn't even mad at me and i felt like a failure#which is so embarrassing like girl stop you are a 20 year old adult woman you will not cry at your workplace because an angry man triggered#your dad issues#and upar se there was a new intern at work one year younger than me and oh my god he was so annoying#like i talked to him first bc i pitied him like what if he felt alone it was only his second day but boy literally could not stop talking😭#like ok it's kinda cool that this senior di she trusted me enough to be like you teach him this project report this when ive only been#here for 3 weeks but bhai😭 he's so annoying 😭 i have newfound respect for the di how does she handle all 7-8 of us interns i would go#crazy and shout at everyone and tell them to leave me alone 😭 but she's so patient and kind and answers dumb questions 100 times#but she's leaving this office permanently from next month bc of her ca final :( i mean very good for her she deserves better more money#better work hours better office etc. but :(( she's leaving :((#as you can see i have both dad issues and abandonment issues so fun lol
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rewritingcanon · 2 months
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andromeda tonks and ted tonks and nymphadora tonks and druella black are the only ones who can even come close to an eeato au with evelyn and waymond and joy and gong gong
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shadowfloofster · 1 year
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*Appears from shadows*
Calling a male/masculine character she/her and using feminine aligned words (wife, girlfriend, mother, etc) doesn't automatically make the male/masc character better and could possibly make people who identifies as masc or prefers he/him feel bad for it.
*quickly disappears back into shadows*
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hqkalon · 9 months
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𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊 | jjk men
cont. voice kink, lots of teasing, public teasing, choking kink, voyeurism kink, petnames, praise kink | pairings : nanami , toji , gojo , sukuna , and getou x reader
an : for the millionth writing, this piece is not proofread lmfao— so a future apology for any writing error (:
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𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐈 it was a total accident, he’s usually a very affectionate man who loves touching everywhere on your body— whether that be his arm around your waist, or cutely holding hands. Though underneath tables and closed doors, he seems to be a different man.
a double date with each couple on side of the table? “that’s so cute, how did the two of you meet?” a voice across the table excitedly asked, “oh we met at a local bak-” you hesitated, feeling nanami’s ice-cold fingers snaked inside of your dress, “bakery.” nanami’s nonchalant tone replied innocently. hand stills caressing your bare thigh, before meeting your eyes as he leaned in. “naughty girl. stay still and keep quiet.” his lips brushing the heat of your ear as a hushed hiccup left your mouth, feeling the pads of his finger against your clothed clit. “she was a cashier who always added extra pastries in my bag.” nanami sat up and continued on without an ounce of suspicion.
𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 his voice always had a natural sternness, which you’ve subconsciously obliged to; along with his husky voice, stringing out each contestant so perfectly like a feather floating in the wind. He knew his tone made you feel a certain way, but not necessarily his voice.
“how about this one?” you turned around, displaying the white strawberry panties in your hand, watching toji examine it in approval. “yeah it’s cute.” his eyes directed elsewhere, “don’t lie if you don’t like it.” aggravation trailed through your tone, “you can leave if you aren’t gonna help.” a small gust of air hit you as toji’s hand gripped your upper, locking you in place. “how about i stuff those panties in that cute little mouth of yours hm? maybe then i’ll help.” his tone maliced with lust— your head whipped around instantly as heat bubbled within your tummy, “hah? what’s wrong with you?” your palm against your mouth, “n-nothing let’s go.” you casually tried to brush the feeling off, locking onto toji’s arm. “my voice affects you that much?” your hand slapped your ear as heat flooded your face, “cute.”
𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 he’s always been a tease just throwing out random allegations with a condescending outline behind his sentence. of course he’d be utterly amused once he’s correct, teasing you non-stop— watching you hide your face in embarrassment.
“wait like this?” you softly glided the razors against gojo’s lower jaw as his hands wrapped lazily around your hips. “mhmm, you’re doing a good job angel.” he hummed with his eyes closed, your hand tilting his head backwards. “thankss.” you continued dragging the blade before gojo’s hand cupped yours. “why are you saying thank you?” he questioned chuckling “ya got a praise kink?” his ocean eyes opened, meeting yours as you quickly looked away. “w-what?” you decided to play dumb, feeling heat pour to your face. his arms tightened around your waist pulling you closer to him, “just continue shaving my face pretty girl.” his tone innocently brushing the situation off as you began your movements again this time fully aware of any praise. “good girl.” gojo teased, looking at your reaction through the mirror. “shut up toru .”
𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀 such a cunning motherfucker when he finds out— similar to gojo, but much primal with it. he acts like he’s always knew that you’ve had such a kink, but wanted to wait till you announced it.
“such a brat.” sukuna scoffed watching you storm towards him, knowing how much his condescending tone sets you off. “kuna i told you about that name.” you pounced onto him, playfully raising a hand before feeling fingers wrap around your throat. “yeah you did.” his lips curled into a grin watching your movements falter as he pulled you near him, “what’s the matter brat?” his tone twisted with mischief, “move your hands.” you demanded with a hand tugging at his. “what’s the magic word princess.” his hand slightly tightened around your throat as a small mewl left your lips. “please..” you asked, adverting your eyes away from his— feeling his hand release. “atta girl.”
𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 nonchalant about it, BUT once the two of you get to a secluded area he’s on your ass. touching and groping your body non-stop because he wants to see it first hand himself. definitely had to bite back his horniness (failed).
"maybe i'll just cut my hair to my shoulder then?" geto questioned in question for you as you just shook your head side to side. "no geto don't cut your hair." you sighed reaching a hand out to play with his hair. "why not?" his eyebrow raised, turning within your direction. "beauseee it's pretty like this." you stressed out the vowels, meeting his eyes as he grinned before pursing hsi lips together. "i just remembered something.." a brief moment of silence passed by before you hummed in reponses waiting for his answer, "you know… you always tug my hair." his eyes glued to yours as you sat there confused. “what?” you laughed in question, “when your layed out with legs s—” his words muffled against your palm before grabbing your wrist with his hand, kissing the inside of your hand. “w-what are you doing?!” you stuttered out before snatching your hand— trying to bite back the embarrassment. “you’re too cute”
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lyneira · 1 year
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♡ "kiss me" ♡
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-> how would the genshin men respond after you tell them to kiss you?
a bit spicier than the usual fluff! 😏
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Gives you a quick kiss
Cyno, Dainsleif, Alhaitham, Diluc
What is it? A kiss? That's all you wanted? Okay. They'll give you a quick one and that's it. Happy now? Let's be honest, they're gonna be real boring about it. So it won't be fun unless you make it fun.
When they begin leaning in to kiss you, you’ve got to grab 'em by the shoulders, deepen the kiss yourself and stay like that for a while. They're going to be both amused and shocked at your assertiveness. Then maybe they'll finally reciprocate your zeal. After all, if you bring such passion to the table, it would be wrong to give you anything less.
Immediately kisses you however they want
Itto, Childe
I hope you know what you're getting into. They'll kiss you with zero hesitation and will devour your lips. Their kisses are gonna be rough and unrelenting. They don't wanna hear any complaints about it either. You're the one who asked for it- well, rather, demanded it, and if you're going to be demanding, then it's only fair that they get their share too!
Asks how you'd like it first before kissing you
THOMA, Kaveh, Gorou, Albedo
If you had to ask for a kiss, then you must want it a certain way, right? So how would you like it? Would you like a light peck or a deep kiss? Do you want it gentle or more rough? Do you want them to bite your lip? Suck on it? Use tongue?
Dare to tell them to figure it out. A small blush will then spread across their cheeks, but they're nonetheless eager to go through all sorts of ways to kiss you.
And in between kisses, they'll frequently ask, "Do you like that?", "Is this what you wanted?", or "Tell me how you'd like it, love" 😘
Gives you what you want, exactly how you want it
Kazuha, ZHONGLI, Tighnari, Baizhu
Would chuckle at your forwardness, but would nonetheless kiss you. They're gonna beckon you to come closer, pull you in towards them, cup the side of your face and give you a long and deep kiss.
When they break away, they'll take a moment to admire your face, caressing your cheek with their thumb as they think about how blessed they are to have you in their life.
Tries to act indifferent about it
SCARAMOUCHE, Xiao
They're going to blush a bit at the sudden demand. But they'll try to put up an indifferent front towards it. "Well...sure I guess....", he'll shrug and give you a quick peck on the lips. His attitude reverts to a flustered one when you hum with delight and have the brightest smile on your face after he kisses you.
"Why are you so happy? It's just a kiss"
"It's a kiss from my beloved, why wouldn't I be happy?"
Now you've got him even redder.
"...would you like more?", he'll mumble.
He just loves seeing you so happy, and is so happy that the reason for it is him.
Teases you before giving it to you
Ayato, Venti, KAEYA, Heizou
In any other situation, they'd kiss you on the spot. Though, this time, they'd pause and decide to make you work for it. If you wanted a kiss, then you'd better earn it. Show them how patient and good you could be.
They're going to kiss you everywhere except for your lips, the place where you wanted it to be. They'll be painfully slow about it too. They'll begin by kissing your hand, then pressing kisses up arm, up your neck, your jaw, and right when you think he was finally going to kiss your lips, he simply kisses your cheek. You whine and he simply responds, "I'm kissing you, aren't I?", and proceeds to leave kisses all over your face.
If you try to kiss them, they'll put a finger up to your lips to prevent you and will prolong their teasing. Like I said, he wants to see how patient you can be and once he's seen it, he'll admire your adorable, flustered face for a moment before finally meeting his lips with yours.
Bonus:
Will say "no" just to get a rise out of you
Alhaitham, Scaramouche, CHILDE, Heizou, Kaeya
Similar to teasing, but worse. He'll deny you to the point where you truly believe that he doesn't want to kiss you. It's gonna make you pout, but once he's taken in enough of your cute expression, he's going to kiss you so sweetly and do much more to make it up to you.
(I would've added Venti here but I feel like he'd be afraid that you'll never kiss him again if he were to tease you like that lol
On the other hand, these dudes here would be confident that you'll be kissing them again. They'll make sure of it ;) )
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© 2023 lyneira. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, PLAGIARIZE, OR REPOST MY WRITING ONTO OTHER PLATFORMS
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appleblueberry-pie · 2 months
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Yandere Toji Fushiguro Concept
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Concept: Broke Toji obsessed with you.
Toji was everywhere, all at once. He was a balance between the good and the bad. At both his lowest and highest, he had nothing to his name that he would proudly tell off was his. When he was in the Zen'in clan, he was worthless, nothing to his name but his body and seemingly useless mind, no matter how much money he was provided with. When he was on the streets, doing assassinations to make enough money to get by, he would spend it all in his own flurry of pleasure. Essentially, in both of his lives he was nothing. Yet, he was defiant. Only he could tell you how many times someone tried to gain his trust just to stab him in the back. Only he could relay how people played kiss-ass for so so long, only to toss him out of their home and mind. Only he could state how many invisible monsters he had to let mangle him just to bring himself back to his own feet.
He doesn't know a damn thing about the jujutsu world or even the real world. But if there was one thing he could say confidently, it is that no one ever gave a single fuck about him. No one. But he never seemed to be able to die. Or even move. No one could reach him, even if he had 2 pennies in his back pocket. No one could match his power if they wanted to. The Zen'in misogynist could only dream of being anything similar to him, and he never got there. Toji was nothing and everything. That balance. He flourished in his own twisted way. But it's not like he cared what would happen, anyways.
That's what he would've said if it wasn't for the hot, one thousand needles that sunk deeper into his cold, dead heart every time he attempted to deny his fate of meeting you. He remembers when he first started working with the shitty organization that pays him. He always wanted to strangle the two men behind the front desk that tried to negotiate the price on his paycheck that was supposed to be finalized. He always left with a little less than he was supposed to receive. That building would've been burnt to the ground by his hands if it wasn't for your sexy ass always strolling past him in your little work uniform. Your little shoes clacking as you pass by, your beautiful legs that he wanted to touch, your ass, your neck, your face that he couldn't stop staring at. Toji always got there when you clocked out of your shift, and he realizes why the two jackasses fuck him over out of his money. You were a huge distraction, more of one than he was willing to admit. Whenever you pass the three arguing, Toji always made sure to greet you when you walk out, giving his most "innocent" smile he could to you. You would beam back at him and even wave, your scent rewriting his brain chemistry and making his cock twitch. He wanted you all to himself, but for now, he'd control himself.
It's not like he was stalking you. Not like he would snatch his money-filled envelope and follow you back to your car. Not like he took assassination missions around your city in hopes of seeing you in the crowd of thousands of people walking around. Not like he threatened the people that paid him to give all of your personal information to him so he could stalk you more than he already was.
But it was never enough. Even if he had your address and would stroke himself in front of your window that gave him direct access to your bedroom, even he followed you to and from work everyday, stalked your socials and pretended to be someone else just to talk with you, it wasn't like having you right there. He needed to feel you, touch you, hear you more, see you more. It almost made his skin crawl when he realized some people are seeing you for almost 8 hours a day when he was left with crumbs of you. He felt embarrassed. He felt ashamed, humiliated, vulnerable and felt that same thick passion rush through his veins: it really makes him SWEAT when he accidentally admits to himself for the 15,000th time that day that he is so fucking in love with you.
And he knew that he would never be the man that you wanted. Broke, fucking homeless, a shitty personality and a sly tongue. The type of person a regular woman would shame for even having the audacity of showing themselves in the light of day. He killed and often dragged himself back to the place he could barely call a living space meant for people just to do it all over again in the morning. He couldn't take it anymore. But still, he did another mission. A horrible one, really. But it was worth sitting in an alleyway, cold, hungry, and in excruciating pain when you found him close to death, laying against the wall of some random building.
"Oh my god!!!" You exclaimed as you ran up to Toji, scared to touch his wounds, but knowing you had to do something. "No," He said, shaking his head slowly. "Leave me." You stuttered in fear, wrapping one of his arms around the back of your neck to attempt to lift him to his feet. "I can't just- just leave you here! You're bleeding out, and dying, and-" You grunted as you managed to slowly pull him to his feet, turning around to drag him out of the alleyway. He stared down at you as you rounded the corner, your place only half a block away. "You need to leave me here. Just go home and go to sleep, doll. I'll be fine." His deep voice sounded scratchy as he spoke. You tried so hard to ignore the blood seeping through your clothes and even falling down his soaked shirt. You couldn't leave him like this. "I've been through worse. Shit is like nothing to me."
You looked over at him in worry at his words, knowing this is already crossing many lines for you. This wasn't that bad?? You couldn't even imagine what else he could've gone through. Toji was in heaven currently. He was practically rubbing against you as you both walked, if he let his head hang enough, he'd feel your warm breath on his forehead. He wanted so badly to stay like this with you, letting his open wounds rub against you, but he wanted you to be safe. And you can't be safe like this. Not with him around.
Toji felt his heart leap with joy when you opened your front door, bringing him to your couch to drop him. This place was so much nicer now that he was inside of it. Everything. Everything smelled like you. Everything was placed in places it felt like you would put them. And you were here to take care of him to. He didn't know whether to let you take care of him, or just take over entirely, keeping you locked up in your own house and let him take care of you. He decided to let you just do what you want. He didn't want you to be scared of him, because it seemed like you really wanted him around at the moment, reasonably so. So, for now, he'll see how long this heaven will last until he has to take the reigns.
[I genuinely wanted to write more for this, but like I don't know how to continue the story without making it sound corny. I physically felt my writing become bad as I was writing this, so i stopped there. I like what I have going on here, so if anyone has oneshot ideas based on how i characterized him here, send some in.]
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weaselandfriends · 1 year
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Post-postmodernism in Pop Culture: Homestuck’s Revenge
I recently saw an excellent video essay titled Why Do Movies Feel So Different Now? by Thomas Flight. Though the title is opaque clickbait, the video is actually about major artistic zeitgeists, or movements, in film history. Flight describes three major movements:
Modernism, encompassing much of classic cinema, in which an earnest belief in universal truths led to straightforward narratives that unironically supported certain values (rationalism, civic duty, democracy, etc.)
Postmodernism, in which disillusionment with the values of modernism led to films that played with cinematic structure, metafiction, and the core language of film, often with more unclear narratives that lacked straightforward resolutions, and that were skeptical or even suspicious of the idea of universal truth 
Metamodernism, the current artistic zeitgeist, which takes the structural and metafictional innovations of postmodernism but uses them not to reject meaning, but point to some new kind of meaning or sincerity.
Flight associates metamodernism with the “multiverse” narratives that are popular in contemporary film, both in blockbuster superhero films and Oscar darlings like Everything Everywhere All at Once. He argues that the multiverse conceptually represents a fragmented, metafictional lack of universal truth, but that lack of truth is then subverted with a narrative that ultimately reaffirms universal truth. In short, rather than rejecting postmodernism entirely, metamodernism takes the fragmented rubble of its technique and themes and builds something new out of that fragmentation.
Longtime readers of this blog may find some of these concepts familiar. Indeed, I was talking about them many years ago in my Hymnstoke posts, even using the terms “modernism” and “postmodernism,” though what Flight calls metamodernism I tended to call “post-postmodernism” (another term used for it is New Sincerity). Years before EEAAO, years before Spider-verse, years before the current zeitgeist in pop cultural film and television, there was an avant garde work pioneering all the techniques and themes of metamodernism. A work that took the structural techniques of postmodernism--the ironic detachment, the temporal desynchronization, the metafiction--and used them not to posit a fundamental lack of universal truth but rather imbue a chaotic, maximalist world of cultural detritus with new meaning, new truth, new sincerity. That work was:
Homestuck.
That’s right! Everyone’s favorite web comic. Of course, I’m not the first person to realize the thematic and structural similarities between Homestuck and the current popular trend in film. Just take a look at this tweet someone made yesterday:
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This tweet did some numbers.
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As you might expect if you’re at all aware of the current cultural feeling toward Homestuck, many of the replies and quotes are incredibly vitriolic over this comparison. Here’s one of my favorites:
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It’s actually quite striking how many elements of the new Spider-verse are similar to Homestuck; aspects of doomed timelines, a multiversal network that seems to demand certain structure, and even “mandatory death of parental figure as an impetus for mandated personal growth” are repeated across both works. The recycling and revitalization of ancient, seemingly useless cultural artifacts (in Homestuck’s case, films like Con Air; in Spider-verse, irrelevant gimmick Spider-men from spinoffs past) are also common thematic threads.
As this new post-postmodern or metamodern trend becomes increasingly mainstream, and as time heals all and allows people to look back at Homestuck with more objectivity, I believe there will one day be a rehabilitation of Homestuck’s image. It’ll be seen as an important and influential work, with a place inside the cultural canon. Perhaps, like Infinite Jest, it’ll continue to have some subset of commentators who cannot get past their perception of the people who read the work rather than the work itself even thirty years after its publication, but eventually it’ll be recognized for innovations that precipitated a change in the way people think about stories and their meaning.
Until that day, enjoy eating raw sewage directly from a sewer pipe.
(Side note: I think Umineko no naku koro ni, which was published around the same time as Homestuck and which deals with many similar themes and then-novel ideas, will also one day receive recognition as a masterpiece. Check it out if you haven’t already!)
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alastorslittledoe · 3 months
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Hazbin Hotel Men with a Crush on You
|| HeadCanon ||
Pairing: Alastor, Lucifer, Angel Dust, Husk, Sir Pentious, Adam, Vox (x reader)
Tags: Fluff, slight smut, pining, flirting, kissing
Alastor’s method of flirting is similar to him hunting his victims. In fact, the only discernible difference is that he isn’t trying to kill you. Would be an enemies to lovers trope, for sure. He’d constantly do shit to freak you out (like waiting around the corner in his giant ass demon form) just to get your heart racing and then pull you close. Alastor probably wouldn’t even realise he liked you until he pulled you on his lap to apologise and you ended up in his bedroom. He just thought he liked playing with you, just a little bit more than everyone else.
Nicknames include: darling, my dear, little doe, sweetheart
Vox is literally obsessed with you from the minute he meets you. That man watches you everywhere, it would be creepy if you weren’t aware and didn’t give him a show every night in your bed. He insists you come and stay with him just to keep a ‘better eye on you’ and ‘keep you safe’. And while all of that is true, it’s also so he can jack off to you while you prance about the screen for him. Eventually you’d sneak in the room during one of his broadcasts to show him just how much you enjoyed him watching you as an under the table favour. He considers you ‘his’ from that moment on, and his obsessive tendencies don’t waver. In fact, they get worse, if possible.
Nicknames include: doll, dollface, sweetheart
Lucifer is such a sweetheart, he wants to talk to you about EVERYTHING, anything, literally you could talk about stale bread to the man and he would watch you with heart eyes. However, if anyone tried to point his affection out, he’d firstly deny it, and then quickly threaten death on anyone who attempted to tell you. Because that was his moment. If anyone in hell attempted to fuck with you, he’d be there immediately. This man can flirt, too. You might as well be walking around with ‘horny’ tattooed on your forehead. You’d probably be the one to kiss him first, and he’d be mad and insist you stole his moment, before quickly dragging you to bed and showing you exactly why Lilith left Adam.
Nicknames include: my love, sweetheart, pretty baby, honey
Angel Dust would immediately catch on to your feelings. He’d constantly tease you about the fact that you liked him (because he has the insane hots for you too) and HARDCORE flirt with you any chance he got. You’d have to earn your place as one of his best friends before anything happened, though. He’d be happy for one night stands but it takes you a while to convince him that you want more than that and you weren’t going to hurt him (‘: But once you did he’d literally be all over you, in front of anyone and everyone. Which you’re more than happy to oblige to, of course.
Nicknames Include: Sugar, doll, baby, babycakes, slut (with extra affection), sexy
Husk is literally the most oblivious man on the planet. You could get naked in front of him and, while he’d definitely get turned on, he’d just ask you where your clothes are. But, he’d do little acts of service, giving you the last shot, ensuring you ended up in bed after a long night, letting you stroke his ears and even teaching you how to mix drinks when you’d shown an interest. And Husk never let anyone behind the bar. His crushes are definitely more lowkey, he’d be more concerned that Alastor would do something to you. But with a little coaxing, he’d be absolute putty in your hands and admit he’d been feeling this way for months.
Nicknames include: babe, beautiful, hot stuff, love
Sir Pentious…oh boy. He’ll follow you around like a little puppy, trying to do everything for you ‘did you need that jar opening, my love? what? no, i never called you anything!’. Acts of service are his thing. He’s literally the sweetest though and if you ever complained about anything he’d try and fix it immediately, or just get into his death machine and kill it. You’d lost many outfits to him misunderstanding the frustration of not being able to find something to wear. Overall, he’d kiss you absolutely wasted because that would be the only time he’d work up the courage to do it. You’d quickly drag him into a sex room to see what those two dicks are really about.
Nicknames include: you think this man has the confidence to call you nicknames without calling EVERYONE the same nickname for a year? You’re wrong. (the occasional ‘my love’, ‘my heart’, ‘babe’ does slip out though)
Adam will literally kill himself before admitting anything to you. He’ll tease, taunt, fuck, and lie to get you to admit that you love him before he even comes close to admitting he likes you just a little bit. But when you finally do, he slowly makes small changes. Stops flirting with all the angels, strictly has sex with you and would accidentally call you his girlfriend one day to Lute. Of course you’d happen to be standing in earshot and he’d immediately deny anything ever happened. But from then on you’d refer to him as your boyfriend and he doesn’t stop you. Plus, the sex gets really good when he thinks he owns you.
Nicknames include: babe, sugartits, bitch, slut, whore (all in good fun…you think), and when he’s rarely feeling sentimental ‘princess’
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clbrq · 7 months
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PLS DO MORE SAM AND COLBY SMUTSSS
DOUBLE TROUBLE - C. BROCK & S. GOLBACH.
warnings; HEAVY SMUT, fingering, oral (both receiving and giving), p in v sex, cursing/swearing, alcohol consumption, kinda like a tag team kinda thing but they don’t know about it LMAO just read.
minors dni.
-/-
You had always been attracted to your best friends. Not even in a strange way; you just thought they were both two good-looking men. Sam and Colby had been your friends since high school, your friendship dating back to when you were all living in Kansas. You can remember filming their vines, and helping them create ideas for their next ones. And when you all grew up, they both matured into two beautiful boys that you admired deeply.
Sam had a gorgeous smile, so contagious and relaxing. When he smiled, you felt happiness bloom inside your body. He also had amazingly, well cared for hair—his blonde locks were always clean and soft, easy for you to run your fingers through. His personality always lightened up your mood too, and the leadership side of him always brought you a lot stability.
Similarly, Colby was such handsome man, you almost buckled to your knees by just looking at him. He had incredible, ocean blue eyes that twinkled in the sunlight, bringing you ultimate joy when you caught a glimpse of them. Colby also, similar to Sam, had an unbelievably contagious laugh, that rang a cheerful feeling through you as the noise escaped his lips.
However, after the occasional one too many drinks, you often looked at your two best friends very differently. It was like the alcohol in you made you view your two friends in dangerously sexual manner. When you looked at Sam, you wanted him to carefully take care of you, make you feel good, but when you looked at Colby, you wanted him to absolutely destroy you. You knew it was wrong, but you couldn’t help yourself.
And that’s exactly how you felt right now.
You were stood with a group of your friends, including Sam and Colby, surrounded by dancing, drunk people, enjoying the 10 million subscribers party they were hosting. They always hosted the best parties—the one’s where you somehow got the most drunk. Stood with you was Corey, Jake, Tara, and Aryia, all chatting comfortably with each other.
But, you couldn’t help your eyes as they landed on Sam, the way he smiled at the joke Aryia made, forcing a smile to land on your face simultaneously. He stood with his arms loosely hanging by his sides, and a structured stance, watching as Corey laughed at Jake doing something stupid.
A small voice from next to you pulled you out of your trance, “Come get a drink with me?” Tara grinned up at you, her small height making you giggle.
“Yeah, sure, I’m feeling too sober anyway.” You replied, walking behind her as you both grab a black cherry White Claw—Sam’s favourite.
Before you could crack it open and take a sip, the can was taken out your hands, “Hey!”
“What?” Sam chuckled, “Shotgun it. That’s way more fun.”
“And why would I do that?” You snapped back, smirking up at him.
“Because I said so, and you love me, so you’ll do it.” Sam stated, grinning back.
Rolling your eyes, you knew he was right, “Fine.”
“That’s my girl.”
His voice rattled through your brain as he grabbed a small knife, and placed it gently in your hands. You licked your lips as you punctured the side of the can and watched as it bubbled everywhere. Bringing it quickly up to your lips, you opened the top as you chugged the smooth beverage in front of him as he cheered you on. Once you’d finished the can, you threw the can in the bin as you caught your breath.
You turned Sam, feeling accomplished, “See? I did it.”
“Well done, but wait.” Sam replied, but suddenly approaching you. His thumb swiped your lip as he wiped away the access of the drink from your mouth.
Slowly, he placed his thumb into his mouth, sucking it clean from the alcohol that once remained. You watched in awe, as you felt your stomach flip, not only from the White Claw settling in your empty stomach, but how sexy Sam looked doing that.
“Come on, bet everyone’s missing us.” He dragged you back over to the group, grabbing two more drinks as you followed him.
Handing you another can, you stood next to Colby, feeling your heart rate instantly increase as you got a whiff of his strong, expensively alluring cologne. The smell was almost blinding as you breathed deeper due to how much this was affecting you.
“You alright, doll?” Colby’s voice whispered in your ear, his hot breath hitting your bare neck, sending shivers down your spine. His hand rested gently on your back as he leant down to talk to you.
“Yeah, just maybe need to sit down.” You mumbled back to him, not wanting to make eye contact with him.
“Let’s go upstairs, it’ll be quieter there.” He suggested, letting you lead the way as his hand stayed on your lower back as you both walked towards the stairs.
You and Colby stayed in silence as you reached his free, quiet bedroom. Colby shut and locked the door as you collapsed on his bed, shutting your eyes as your previous drinks were hitting you suddenly.
You felt eyes on you, watching you closely. Opening your eyes, you sat up to see Colby stood by your feet, observing your every move with a smirk on his face.
“May I help you, Mr. Brock?” You chuckled, shuffling closer to him.
“I’m not sure, can you?”
“What do you need?” You asked, innocently, wondering what was wrong with him.
“Well, ever since you walked through that door, Hell, ever since I met you; I’ve wanted nothing more than to rip your clothes off and fuck you senseless,” He admitted, his big hand making its way up to your red hot cheek, “but, since you’re my best friend, you’re off limits.”
“W-who decided that?” You blurted out, wanting nothing more for him to do all the things he just said.
Colby laughed darkly down at you, removing his hand while staring deep into your eyes, “Why? You want it?”
“Please.” You whispered, biting harshly onto your bottom lip as his touch lingered.
Colby didn’t speak but pushed you gently back onto the bed, and climbed on top of you, connecting your lips forcefully. The kiss was hot, and steamy, teeth clashing and moans erupting from both of your throats. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling his lower half closer to yours. Colby moved his hips ever so slightly, grinding his obvious hard-on onto your clothed pussy.
“Mm, I need you.” You mumbled against his lips, your hands roaming through his brown locks, “Need you now, Colbs.”
“Fuck.” He muttered under his breath, sitting up to throw all his clothes off to the side, bar his boxers.
Colby then turned to you, slipping off your dress to reveal your naked chest, but your lacy panties underneath.
“God, you slut.” Colby whispered, grabbing both of your legs and placing them on his shoulders, “You’re practically begging me to fuck you with these on.” His fingers playing gingerly with the rim of your panties, making the arousal inside you grow.
“Please, Colby.”
“Please what?” He pushed back, wanting to hear you beg for him.
“Please, do something, touch me, please.” You whined, shimming in impatience.
Pulling your underwear off, Colby’s placed soft, teasingly slow kisses on your inner thighs, making sure you were absolutely begging for his tongue by the time he made it to your core. The way you whined and begged for him was enough as he placed his hot tongue against your aching clit. You cried out as he wrapped his pretty lips around your bud, sucking gently, taking his sweet time with you. You’d never felt pleasure like this as he reached his hand up slipped his middle finger into your clenching hole, curling them upwards, hitting the sweet spot deep inside you.
You arched your back, calling out his name as you grabbed onto his hair, pulling his locks, causing him to groan against you. Your pleasure increased as he twirled his tongue around your clit, occasionally giving it a small kiss, and then returning with his tongue. You could feel the knot in your stomach begging to tighten, the orgasm was about to hit you hard.
“Yeah, you gonna cum?” Colby asked, feeling you clench around his fingers, smirking from between your legs.
Only whining his name, begging him to continue with his mouth, he proceeded to do so. Colby flicked his tongue in a way that tipped you over the edge, the orgasm ripping through as you cried out loudly, not caring who heard. You twitched and writhed under him as ecstasy coursed throughout your body.
Standing up, Colby harshly grabbed your chin and pulling you in for a kiss, his tongue tasting sweetly of your arousal as it slid down your throat. His hand swiftly grasped your neck, kissing you roughly—he was clearly pent up.
“Bend over.” He demanded, pulling away from your swollen lips, a string of saliva and your slick connecting both of your mouths.
Doing quickly as you were told, you arched your ass into the sky for him, your pussy dripping with excitement. He knelt on the bed, teasing your spasming hole with the tip of his leaking cock.
“You ready for me, baby?” Colby purred, stroking your back, lovingly.
“Yes, Colby, please.” You winced, begging for him as you pushed your hips backwards.
Colby complied with your begging and slipped his hard cock quickly inside you, not caring for you to get used to his size. Crying out in both pain and pleasure, you gripped his bedsheets for support as he began to ram his pulsating cock inside you.
“God, you’re such a whore, aren’t you?” Colby taunted, his thrusts at a fast, yet steady, pace, “You’re so thirsty for my cock.”
“Yes, Colby, just for you.”
Colby laughed evilly from behind you, tightly grabbing onto your hips as his thrusts grew harder and deeper which each other. His rhythm so harsh, you were beginning to not see straight. He truly was fucking you senseless. You could feel another orgasm building up as he reached round to rub your clit as he pounded you from behind.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Colby announced, throwing his head back, squeezing his eyes shut as the pleasure washed over him.
Groaning out your name as he filled you up deep inside, your second orgasm ripped through you. You heard ringing in your ears and stars in your eyes as his thrusts slowed down. Soon enough, he pulled out as you collapsed onto the bed.
“You okay?” Colby queried, brushing your hair out of your face.
“Yeah, I think so.” You murmured, eyes beginning to feel heavy as he spoke.
“Hey, don’t fall asleep, still got a whole party downstairs.”
Agreeing with his statement, you sat up, sighing as you did so.
“Did so good for me, baby.” Colby whispered, kissing the top of your head, “I’ll grab you some water.”
Colby wondered off to his bathroom with an empty cup in hand, as you slowly began to dress yourself. Once he returned, you drank the whole cup he had filled up for you, erupting a small laugh from his chest.
“Now, as much as I’d love to stay here and sleep with you,” Colby started, helping you back into your dress as you begin to wake up a bit more, “People will wonder where we’ve gone.”
You nodded as you adjusted your dress, and then leaning up to peck his lips, “Thank you.”
“No problem, love,” He smiled, “I’m gonna head to the bathroom, I’ll meet you down there.”
“Alright,” You answered, watching him walk towards the bathroom once more, and then exit bedroom yourself.
However, as you walked towards the stairs, a familiar face exited his room also, and caught your gaze.
“Sam?” You questioned, unsure on what he was doing upstairs and away from the party, “What are you doing up here?”
“I needed a charger,” Sam replied, furrowing his eyebrows as his eyes lingered on you for longer than you wanted, “Are you okay?”
You were taken aback by his words, “Uhm, yeah, I think.”
“Do you need some Advil or something? You look like you’ve thrown up about 10 times.” He chuckled, approaching you.
“No, no, I’m okay. Just feel a bit lightheaded.” You lied, not wanting to admit you just fucked his best friend.
“Here, come with me, we can chill in my room until you feel better.” Sam suggested, grabbing your hand gently and leading you into his bedroom.
Déjà vu.
You and Sam sat on his bed, not saying a word as you made yourself comfortable.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“I will be,” You answered, turning to face him, “Just not feeling too hot right now.”
“Well you look it.”
Your eyes widened at his words, not expecting him to be so forward, “Really?”
“Yeah, 100%, always thought so.” Sam smiled cheekily, looking deep into your eyes.
“You’re drunk.” You laughed, shaking your head.
Sam returned the laugh, “Maybe, but I know what I’m saying is true.”
The adrenaline from your quickie with Colby still hadn’t worn off as you leaned in to kiss Sam. Luckily, you had read the room correctly and Sam instantly took your face in his hands as he kissed back. Sam was a gentle, loving kisser—he took his time to make sure you were enjoying it as much as him. You moved over to straddle either side of his legs, and continued your kiss in the comfort of his lap.
“God, you have no idea how you make me feel,” Sam murmured against your lips, pecking you carefully.
“Let me show you how you make me feel.” You replied, boldly, slowly moving down his body towards his crotch, “Can I?” You asked, politely.
“Fuck, yeah.”
As you removed Sam’s jeans and boxers, you watched as his obviously hard member sprung up and slapped against his torso. You took it in the small of your hand, slowly jerking his dick as you kitten licked the tip that was already leaking with pre-cum. Sam got comfortable on his bed as you lowered your mouth fully onto his dick.
Sam groaned out loud a slur of curses as you flicked your tongue on his cock as you sucked him. You bobbed your head up and down, your tongue helping you amplify his pleasure. You sped up your movements, knowing this would be killing him, and he moaned out your name in ecstasy.
“Jesus, you’re such a good girl.” Sam mumbled, his one arm behind his head, his cheeks red and his eyes screwed shut.
You smirked on his member as you knew you were making him feel good. Strategically adding your hand to the base of his cock, you jerked the bottom off as you sucked the tip, helping him reach his finish.
Unlike Colby, Sam quickly finished as he grabbed your hair, gently, in his hands, pushing your head down as he spilled deep inside your throat, cursing and groaning as he did so. As you swallowed his seed, and pulled your mouth off his dick, you sat up and faced him.
You giggled as he let out a shaky breath, “Jesus, you’re unreal.” He sighed, smiling at you.
“You’re very welcome.”
Sam beckoned you over as he pulled you in for another kiss, his hand beginning to travel under your dress and to your still wet pussy. You moaned into his mouth as he began to rub small circles on your clit, making you buck your hips into his hand. You were on the verge of your third orgasm of the night, when the door opening followed by a voice caught your attention,
“Hey Sam, have you seen—“
Colby stood in the doorway, a shocked expression plastered on his face, “What the fuck?” He shouted, “I just fucked you and then you hop straight on his cock next?”
“What? You just fucked him?” Sam exclaimed, shocked.
Oh, fuck.
-
dude i’m gonna do a part 2 dw and it’ll be the best tag team of the century. hope you liked this! sorry i didn’t see it sooner!! xx
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Hi,
I am very much not american so I must admit that my first impulse when seeing all the rap/racism discourse was something like "do I really need to consume more american culture, it's fucking everywhere already". Idk but to me it feels like american/english-speaking culture absolutely dominates a lot of the world, sometimes at the cost of out own cultures and languages, if something is in English it is "good", if it is in own own languages it is "bad". Musicians often start singing in English and more american-like after a while to get bigger. We value American culture and music, they mock our accents (and languages sometimes) and best case scenario see us as funny and silly.
Then I started thinking. Do you think that americans kind of see rap kind of like foreign music still? Like low-brow unexotic foreign music.
I don't know this is a really fresh thought and I'm not sure if I am explaining it very well.
hey first off I just want to say -
you are entirely correct in your reaction that people outside of America/the English-speaking world do not need more American culture thrust upon them! this discussion is extremely centered on Americans, the reception and reaction to rap within America, and excuses that white American use to avoid interacting meaningfully with Black culture, art, and ideas. while anti-Blackness as an issue obviously extends far outside of America, this particular conversation is deeply tied to American culture. I appreciate you pointing that out!
I also think you're point about rap, and by extension other Black artforms, being Othered in American pop culture. certainly in terms of language, African American Vernacular English (AAVE), which is utilized by many rappers, is still heavily disputed in its validity as a "real" language, with many dismissing it as a bastardized version of "proper" English and associating it heavily with those who are lower-class and uneducated. in a similar way to many international artists having to work in English to gain wider recognition and validation, many Black Americans are proficient in "code switching," the practice of switching between AAVE that they likely grew up speaking and an English dialect that is considered more "professional."
similarly, I think your use of the term "low-brow" is very apt. Black music has always been met with distrust and disdain by white audiences. there's a reason that so many people feel the need to bring up sex, drugs, and violence when they talk about rap; to many white cultural gatekeepers that was all rap was. (and, like, we should very much talk about why that is in and of itself a bad thing, when white crime is so often glorified in pop culture. why is the Godfather a classic masterpiece but Black men making art about their own experiences with racism, violence, poverty, and survival don't deserve serious consideration?) and that didn't start with rap! in the early 20th century jazz, also a Black creation, was seen as dangerous for promoting promiscuity among nice white teens. no matter what Black people make, white cultural gatekeepers will find a way to start a moral panic about it.
the reverse also happens as well, with Black people being treated as foreigners even in music genres that they helped pioneer. Black Americans were hugely formative in the early days of country, but are met with hostility in the contemporary country scene. Lil Nas X's Old Town Road was one of the biggest songs of the year it was released and undeniably country but was largely snubbed by country music community, and Beyoncé's new country album, Cowboy Carter, is a direct response to her hostile reception at the Country Music Awards in 2016.
the point being, yes, I don't think it's off-base to say that, to many Americans, rap and Black music and art generally are like... very optional and avoidable parts of pop culture in the way that more white-dominated genres are not, similarly to a lot of international and especially non-English art.
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come-into-my-parlour · 2 months
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Coming home to find a note from you covering a plate. I can't see what it's hiding but the note says Eat Me. How strange. I pick it up to see what's under it.
It's at least two handfuls of various pills in different colors and sizes. Hm, I've never seen so many different drugs in one spot before. I don't want to disappoint you but I'm scared. I read the note again. Okay.
I start taking the pills one by one and it takes me a long time to know for sure I'll manage to keep them down. Once I'm done eating what you left for me I see you've scribbled something on the plate. "Bed"
I go to our bed and see a pile of clothes. Crotchless lace panties, a bra that keeps my tits up but doesn't cover them, thigh high stockings, mesh gloves that end in a satin mitten-like fabric. I don't know what you'd want me to do but I guess I won't need to use my fingers for it. And, lastly, a collar with a bell. Well, that explains why everything is in cow print. Okay, I'll try anything once.
I put on everything you've laid out for me and I want to see myself wearing it. I go to the mirror and before I've even looked at myself, I see some writing on it.
"Good night, princess."
I read it and reread it, very confused. What do you mean?
But then I can feel my head get dizzy. The room is spinning and I'm on my hands and knees trying to keep it still. I can't. Everything is moving. I fall down and I think I pass out.
I wake up to sounds of cows but they're strange. There's also moaning, I think. I'm so confused. I can hear a lot of men's voices and panting and sounds of wet flesh slapping. Where am I?
I open my eyes but they feel heavy. I'm still a bit dizzy but in an instant, all that gets overshadowed by an overwhelming heat. My body is on fire. I feel hot everywhere, but especially between my legs. I think I'm wet but I can't move to touch myself and check. It's just now I realize im strapped to something, my hands and knees bound to it as I'm placed leaning on it. My tits feel heavy and sore as they hang low towards the ground and I don't know why they feel that way. I can't look around yet, my head is still spinning, so even though I fight it, I pass out.
When I come to, my breasts hurt so bad. I can feel water flowing on my thighs between my legs, and I'm drooling. I look around and I'm shocked.
There are dozens of women naked or wearing similar clothing to me, strapped to a wooden bench of some sort in the same position I am in. Each woman has a far off look to her and is either smiling blissfully or moaning in pleasure. I can see men surrounding most of them but a few are left alone and there are machines strapped to them.
I can see their breasts are connected to something that appears to be milking them. There's also a fucking machine pushing a dildo between their legs and a bucket placed between their spread legs. They're leaking so much I thought they were relieving themselves but it looks like it's just their arousal that's leaking that way. Is that even possible? Is that why I feel wet between my legs? Am I leaking in that same way?
I look to the women with men around them and see they're pounding their cocks in every hole they find while the women are being milked. I hear a few of them moo.
I'm so shocked and captivated by the sight before me that I don't realize you're standing in front of me.
"Good morning, princess." I look up to you and you look so normal and I look like this and I feel like crying.
"Now, now. No crying. The only places you're allowed to leak for me are from your pretty mouth, gorgeous breasts and from your needy pussy." You punctuate your words by touching my lips, the side of one of my breasts and barely grazing my pussy lips. But by the time you're behind me to do that, I'm screaming. It feels so good I'm blinded by the pleasure. I don't know how I didn't pass out again.
"Mm, I can see you're ready." You look to me. "Are you ready, pet? Are you ready to be milked and bred?" You're looking at me expecting something but I can't take this anymore.
"What are you doing to me? Get me out of this and take me home! Now!" I scream as loud as I can.
Before I'm even done with my tantrum you slap my ass cheek hard. Then the other one. Then come to my face and squeeze my jaw. You tip my head up so I can took at you.
"Cows don't talk."
I'm so shocked I gasp. You take that opportunity and shove your cock down my throat. You taste so good. You're so hard inside my mouth. I want to eat your cum. Let me. Please, let me.
No, what the fuck? Where are these thoughts coming from!? I start trying to squirm away but you're relentless. You keep fucking my mouth and I can feel the drool pool and leak down my chin. Please, feed me your cum. Please, I promise I'll be good to you. I close my eyes and moan in pleasure. I can feel my wetness drip straight in what i presume is a bucket like the others have. And even that sound is oddly arousing.
My tits feel like they're about to explode but the force with which you're fucking my mouth is making them sway back and forth and it feels so good. I moan around your dick and try to lick you. I look up to you and you must see the switch in my gaze because you smile.
"There's my good little cow. Are you hungry?" You moan and he doesn't take long before he spills inside you and you feel it slip down your throat. You choke a bit but make sure to swallow.
Only after he decides you must have swallowed it all does he pull out of you. He pats your head and says "Good cow." You smile at that with the same dreamy smile you saw on the other women.
The memory of that snaps you out of whatever daze you were just in and you start squirming and trying to escape your restraints. He frowns at you.
"Stop that, cow." But you keep going and you can see him getting angry now. He grabs your face again and leans in close.
"Listen to me now and listen well. This is your life now. I am your God, your master, you reason for living. You are my breeding cow, my toy to do with as I please. You are an animal and you exist to take my pleasure. You are nothing else. You are not allowed to talk. You are not allowed to touch yourself. You are only allowed to move if I am walking you on a leash. You exist for me. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can be rewarded. The more you struggle, the more I'll punish you. And you won't like that, would you, cow?"
You look up at him with wide eyes full of fear. That seems to soften him a little.
"Listen, pet. I know it's a big change, but I know you can take it. I know you'll enjoy it. I know you'll love it as soon as you give in. I will take care of you. I will make your life heavenly. You know I can. You see these tits?" He touches one of your heavy breasts and you moan without meaning to. "I know they hurt and feel sore and heavy and I can take that pain away. I can make it feel so so good if you let me take care of you. That wet pussy that's still dripping in your bucket? I can fill it with so much cum you'll be leaking it for days straight in the bucket, mixing it with your pussy juice." You shiver. "I'll take good care of you, pet. So give in to me and don't fight me." You raise your eyebrows still not understanding. He sighs.
"If you're difficult, I'll have to let you go. But don't think that means you'll get away from here. You won't. This is your life now and there's no escape. But you'll be given to someone else. And if you're difficult with him, too, you'll be left in a shared paddock for common use. Is this what you want? To be a shared animal between dozens of men every day who don't care about you? Don't care to make you feel good? Hurt you just because they can?" You look at him with your frightened eyes again.
"At least I love you. I want to you to feel good too. I want you to love it here." He caresses your cheek. "Don't you want that, pet?"
You close your eyes and breathe deeply. If those were your choices, then yes. You do want that. You open your eyes and they're a bit blurry with tears. You look up at him with your eyes resolute. You will accept this. You will learn. He must see that because he smiles.
"Good cow. Now, let's take care of your udders."
He starts strapping the milking machine to your breasts and you've never felt anything like this before. You feel so sore but every time he touches you, you feel so good.
When he finishes with the straps, he presses a button and you immediately scream. It feels soo good. The suckers are pulling at your nipples and you start to moan so loud. Nothing else exists beside those suckers working your hard tips. You vaguely hear dripping and realize that your bucket is getting filled with your arousal.
Then you feel it. Milk. It's dripping from your breasts. The machine is actually milking you. You didn't think it'd manage. God, it feels so good. You forget yourself and start writhing your hips, trying to find pleasure. You moan and gasp and pant and move your body trying to find something, anything to touch your clit. You know it wouldn't take long before you cum.
"You look so good being milked, cow." You also forgot he was here. But as you look to him dazed and drooling, he's stroking his cock. You whimper at him.
"Time to breed you now, cow." You moan again and wiggle your ass as much as you're allowed to.
He goes behind you and you feel him align himself with your dripping cunt. He enters you in one hard thrust and you scream. You keep screaming as he pounds into you.
Between his hard unforgiving thrusts into your soaked pussy and the milking machine pulling milk out of your engorged breasts, you lose it. Your orgasm overwhelms you and you pass out again.
When you come to, you still feel hard thrusts between your legs. You whimper and moan and you hear him chuckle.
"Oh, good. You're awake for round three. I'm glad you didn't miss that one." And you hear him grunt and feel his hot thick seed inside you. He starts to pull out and you moan. No, not yet. More!
He slaps your ass. "Don't be greedy, cow." He pushes something back in you but it's not as big as you need it to be.
"That's to keep my cum burried in you until I'm back." He then picks up your bucket and starts spilling the liquid it collected on your ass, legs and back. You feel it dripping from your body to the floor. You didn't even realize you'd produced that much of it.
" There's my nice, clean cow." And he places it back down to its spot.
He kneels next to you and touches your breast. You moan and wiggle again.
"You're still tender but you're not giving me any more milk, so that's all of the machine time you're getting today. If you produce more milk tomorrow, I'll reward you with more time with the machine while I breed you. But if you don't, I won't let you use the machine at all for at least two days."
You gasp, scared that's even a possibility. The relief the milking machine provides is tremendous, but the suckers also give you tremendous pleasure. You need it. You need it like air.
"Now, let's see how you taste then." And he goes to collect some of your milk and drinks it while looking at your eyes. He closes his and sighs. "So fucking sweet." You preen.
He kneels by your face and whispers at your ear. "If you're good, tomorrow I'll drink it straight from the tit." You can't contain the moan that escapes you. He likes your reaction and pats your head. "Good cow."
He sits up and looks down at your big eyes bracing himself to leave you for the day. You smile and say "Moo."
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lolliepuff · 1 month
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lord tartaglia spoils his siblings too much, he even brings his one sister around teyvat, they even share one bedroom despite his budget allowing for them to take separate rooms. — i wonder if people prefer second pov or third povs in x readers. — big brother!childe x little sister!reader. DRABBLE
you were adorable.
far too adorable that your older brother was WORRIED about the snezhnayan men (such as himself) who’ll ravage you senselessly.
worried enough that he brought you to diplomatic outings as an ‘assistant,’ when really you were just decoration meant to stand at his side.
after all, if ajax couldn’t control himself around you, what about other men? ajax trusts himself around you because unlike the OTHER MEN, he’ll fuck you with passion and love; not like the savage men who’ll fuck and dump you after cumming by themselves.
big brother is different, see? he’ll never leave you so don’t leave him.
“lord tartaglia’s younger sister barely looks at anyone else, no?” one cicin mage remarks, mistaking your refusal to look at other people for bashfulness.
“i do believe it wise not to speak about her, the lord wants made it clear not to approach her unless he’s given us direct permission to do so.” the mirror maiden replies as they all line up to greet the arrival of the eleventh harbinger and his darling sister. “even then, those granted ‘privilege’ to serve her are never of the lower ranking ones, much less a man.”
“she’s like an extension of the lord, no? almost never smiles without him. one might think she’s one of lady sandrone’s creations.” the cicin mage giggles to herself. “with an appearance like that, constantly groomed to perfection, one might actually mistake her for a doll instead of human.”
they spoke in hushed tones but that didn’t seem to mute their words from you, after all; having grown up with ajax, even your senses seemed to have sharpened. — you have no doubt your older brother has heard them too but he seemed to be too taken by something to even reprimand nor react to them.
he calls your name and you grow alert, “i bought you something.” he smiles at you with a grin you recognize to be one born of devious intent. most likely born with perverse intentions.
ajax brought you everywhere despite the protests of both your younger siblings who wanted to come with as well, but he reasoned with them he could only bring one. — in truth, he wants you all to himself, your relationship be damned. he poisoned your mind with ideas, that everyone except your family are all out to get you, wearing masks to hide their true intentions. and because you had no reason to not believe him, you considered his words law.
that’s why you’re too scared to meet anyone else’s eyes unless ajax trusts them, that’s why you refuse to speak with anyone unless ajax’ with you. that’s why your smile is saved only for ajax otherwise evil men will get you. — your world revolved around ajax, everything he said was the truth, if he says this was normal, it was. if he calls you his little wife, you are, if he tells you to keep it a secret from even your siblings, you will. after all, ajax knows best.
“what did you buy?” you ask innocently, turning to him with eyes that reflect nothing but trust.
he only smiled as you both walked towards the bedroom assigned for the both of you in the goth grand hotel. there was a box already placed on the bed, with a ribbon that he tells you to open, before closing the door and locking it.
opening it, you were greeted with two vials that looked to be similar to whopperflower nectar, lingerie and other accessories. glancing back at ajax, you find that he’s already taken off his snow cloak that all other harbingers wore, taking off his expensive outerwear then his red silk shirt. “what are you waiting for? put it on.” he gives you an innocent smile as if the underwear in the box didn’t barely cover anything that you might as well be naked.
but still, who were you to deny him?
what if i wasnt lazy and wrote the smut for this haha
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bellewintersroe · 3 months
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Would you please write a headcanon for Malarkey, Babe, Chuck, Shifty, Liebgott, Winters (and anyone else you'd like to do) about them seeing you dressed "like a girl" for the first time. I mean all pin up looking and everything (tastefully of course though). Maybe you had to wear army fatigues just like the rest of the guys (and of course no makeup or ability to do your hair or wash everyday) and that's the only way they've really ever seen you. But you finally get the chance to really dress up for once (you're a girly girl). I'd love to know what you see their reactions being.
Oooooo being a girly girl myself I LOVE this concept!! Easy Boys x Reader - how they react to you dressed up.
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Don Malarkey:
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Normally Don would just muck around with you, he’d think you’re beautiful either way but he feels comfortable with you to joke around like he would similar to how he is with the guys.
so when you walk into that pub one day all dressed up like one of those pin up girls he’d seen in the magazines? Good lord-
Eyes pop out of his head fr.
double takes- cos he’s so mf stunned like- it ignites something deep inside of his body and every single inch of his body is on fire.
I feel like he’d sorta look at you differently when you’re having a conversation, like he’d be smiling and blushing- I think he’d be stammering, maybe he couldn’t hold eye contact as often?
like he’d suddenly stop throwing jokes in your direction and actually engages in a more quieter and normal? Conversation. Like you’d probably be so confused until one of your friends tells you why you’re so nervous.
unlike the other guys, I don’t think he’d make a move, not that night anyway. He’d probably be too nervous. I think after that he’d be a little more nervous around you, maybe he’d be fearful some other guy has swooped you up before he could??? Babe Heffron:
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I feel like Babes reaction would depend on if he’s had a few to drink or not. But let’s say he’s sober?? We’ll set the scene in Austria, you finally have access to pretty clothes and makeup again- which you missed so dearly throughout the war.
slowly you’re doing yourself up again, getting used to being around the men all dressed up- I think it would be super nerve wracking.
Ofc all the men notice cos their jaws are on the floor, but Babe’s mind is lost. He knows that he feels the strongest out of all of these guys, you took such good care of him in Bastogne and his soft spot for you becomes well- a big fat crush that he can no longer hide.
He takes some hyping up from Ramirez and whoever else before he scurries up besides you, walking as smoothly at he can, looking all handsome in his uniform.
“Hey y/n.”
“oh hey, Babe!”
“you look real pretty y’know.”
then it would be your turn to be a blushing mess, he’s grinning towards you with a sparkle in his eyes, and although he’s nervous the genuine desire and longing for you is obvious.
“Thank you, Babe! You look real good in your uniform too.” He doesn’t expect you to throw a compliment back so for a second he’s turned away from you with a shit eating grin on his face.
“Yeah well, ya’ hair looks real nice too.” The boys deffo told him to compliment your hair and your eyes- and that’s what script he sticks to at first before growing enough confidence to genuinely compliment everywhere else on your face (and body??)
Ur bum looks real good in the dress you were, and if Babe thought you were beautiful in your army fatigues, oh my goddddddd-
Babes just a sucker, he often looks stunned and in awe of you- because that’s what he would be, real complimentary to the point you have no option but to just kiss him.
plus at the end of the night when you two have spent some time together, he loves to twist his finger through the loosened curls in your hair.
Chuck Grant:
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Probs one of the men that giggles and woops at you when you walk into the small pub the troops have taken over in Holland.
ofc it’s all fun and games they’re ur friends and by no means are objectifying you.
but anyway Chuck is all amused at first, but his smile slowly fades when he feels the fluttering of his heart and stomach and oh fuck- he’s in love with you.
he knew it before, but now seeing the way all these men are looking at you in your pretty dress with your hair and makeup all done- noooo, he has to make you his there and then.
“Later, suckers.” He’d take a last swig of his drink before carrying it in his hand, sliding away from the table and approaching you. At first he’s oozing with confidence, hyped up from his cheering friends, but when he actually gets close and sees your red painted lips smiling up to him he’s a gonner.
“Uh hey… can I sit?” He awkwardly spokes, it’s a little funny but you’d find him so cute and ofc he’s fucking handsome asf so you oblige.
Accidentally stares in awe when you’re topping your lipstick up.
“You want some?” You’d tease and his lips would pull into a charming smile. “Yeah, but not from the stick.”
oooo the flirtation would be on the second he gets a little buzzed from the alcohol, you’re clearly flirting back and not to sound rude because it’s obviously consensual- but Grant can’t keep his hands to himself.
seriously he’s never seen your body so…. Tight? Like your outfit is still modest but hugging you in all the right places, if you move onto his lap at some point in the night he’ll probs get a boner.
deffo goes back to his bed that night with a smirk and red lipstick stains everywhere.
Shifty Powers:
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Ugh shifty, shifty, shifty, where do I start?
yeah he’s super respectful and sweet, we all know that, but he deffo has a smart side to him. Let me explain.
when you walk into that ‘pub’ in Austria, all dolled up, he’s smirking and hiding behind his cup, eyes roaming a little too far down your body than he intends to.
he’s love struck, like he already knew you were the most beautiful thing on this planet, but now you’re a god damn Angel.
but when you’d come to sit with him out of all the other guys, again, he’d be smirking behind his pint glass.
“Y’know you look real beautiful, Y/n.” He’d give you the most genuine and kind compliment you’ve received all night, he’d hook his arm around yours to walk you somewhere, ugh he’d probably come across really calm??
I do think Shifty would be sweatinggggg, like boy he’s nervous on the inside, and when you clasp your hand with his he’s gulping.
not to sound crude, but he probably hasn’t seen a woman in a while, not one as amazing as you- so he gets a little hot and bothered when your hand runs over his shoulder.
he’s not one to be too forward, I think he’d be more traditional so he wouldn’t necessarily make a move on you- but he’d tell you how he feels there and then.
being honest he wants you soooooo bad, he feels the ache in his chest even just glancing at you. Plus, Shifty can tell you’re glowing both inside and out, he’d probably pick up on that and make you swoon like you’ve never before.
Joe Liebgott
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Listen Joe has been knowing ur attractive for a realllllll long time. Like im talking since Toccoa and all.
But nothing comes of it so he treats you like his little sister, like similar to Malarkey he’d joke around with you, ruffle your hair- he likes that you’re not afraid to get dirty and have a little fun.
like he’d probably rugby tackle you (gently?) because he knows you’re so just down to earth and cool.
so he hold off all the compliments or what not and his flirtation is more through playfulness?? Like you just have a bond and he fucking loves ya- he tells you all the time, but all of a sudden you walk in looking like a fucking pin up model and he gasp- loves you in a way that isn’t so… platonic?
uhhhh Joe’s shifting in his seat, eyes fixated and mouth slightly hung open. Has to tense his jaw and blink away just so nobody see’s him looking like a creep.
doesn’t know how to act around you?? Like he’s acting all nervous and awkward because you’re so fucking beautiful and done up and god, all the men want you in there.
tries to be mean as a form of flirting, but that doesn’t work- it goes badly wrong so he ends up chasing you out of the pub, grabbing at your waist.
“Hey, y/n, slow down. I didn’t mean it like that!” “Then how did you mean it, Joe?! You think I look tacky!” “No I don’t! I really don’t!” He kinda laughs again and you attempt to shrug him off but uhhh he get carried away and the feelings just fall out his mouth. “Truthfully-” “shut up, Joe.” “No, truthfully, I think ya look gorgeous. Like shit doll, I think I’ve fallen in love with ya.”
The admission is only followed by more and more and he blurts out how nervous you made him feel- his ability to express emotion all these years later surprises you and you’d just kiss him so quickly he almost stumbles off his feet.
tells you you should dress up more often like that for him.
Dick Winters:
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Ummmmmm probably already with you?? Winters has seen you all dressed up before but after a particular long time of seeing you struggling, he’s in awe to see you looking so radiant and happy.
watches from afar with the most loved up feeling ever, he’s extremely secure in your relationship, yet still oogles in utter awe from you.
has to put up with the other men (they don’t know about your relationship) staring and gawking, he legit has to close Babe’s mouth for him??
but seriously, he just smirks when he sees you laughing at the men’s advances on you cos he knows he’ll be the one in bed with you that night.
and you are ugh- he’s so amazing and can’t get over how perfect you looks, he even asks you to leave the dress on when you’re doing the deed 🙈🙈.
“I’m so glad I’ve got you all to myself.” He’d mutter whilst you’re wrapped up in his arms, hair and makeup slightly frazzled. “Me too, I couldn’t cope for a minute longer not speaking to you out there.” “And all of them gawking at you… I mean who can blame them, you look absolutely beautiful.” Lewis Nixon:
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Ummm what the fuck? He’s amazed? Jaw is dropped and he has to put his glass to one side whilst Dick pushes his jaw closed for him.
“is that Y/n?” He’d squint, “as in our Y/n?”
wastes no time in getting to know you and sit besides you, it’s not like you two haven’t talked before, but you’ve never really been close or had the chance to be. Now, the war in Europe is over and Lew is divorced, it opens new opportunities- hence why he comes and speaks to you.
a little Dutch courage never did no harm, and in Lewis’ case it began a beautiful relationship. But holy fuck- he’s in complete shock at how beautiful you are, your hairs pinned up to perfection, your makeup is highlighting every feature of your face so perfectly.
you should best believe that your lipstick will be smudged over his thumb and lips later that evening, cos Lewis isn’t one to waste any time…
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transalphabf · 4 months
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Corruption (2000 follower special)
You are an Angel, pure, light, and always bright. It's hard for anything to take you by surprise, for you know All that is The Will of your God.
Which was why the Demon sat across from you at the coffee shop was so... Unusual.
"Um, it is a special pleasure to make your acquantaince, Mr Demonos sir, but why have you decided to sit with me today? Do you perhaps wish for me to Save you?" You asked with a bright, if uncertain smile.
The demon smiled back at you with an inhumanly toothy smile, sharp teeth glinting in the light for a moment before seemingly becoming more human again for a moment.
"Well, angel, I've been watching you for a little while now and I wanted to finally talk to you." He explained.
You blinked, confused now.
"Watching me? Why? I shan't be corrupted by you! You won't make me Fall or tempt me to the path of dismay!" You insisted, brows furrowing.
He seemed to roll his eyes for a long moment, sclera flashing black for a brief moment as the rain rolled against the window with an especially strong gust of wind.
"I have been possessed by you, from the moment I first saw you. I can See your Halo, your wings, your very Aura, and you have transfixed me!" He hissed, almost accusatory if not for the adoring undertone.
You didn't really know what to make of that, but it stirred something deep inside of you. You hadn't come across a Demon that could See your Holy aura, he was unusual in that sense.
You could See his Unholy aura too, the long, black, curved horns that ran along his head, stopping in points just below his ears. His long, pointed ears, and the long whiplike tail that swished to and fro on the floor. To the humans around you, they just saw two men, one blond, the other dark haired, one clean shaven and pretty, the other with a beard and a little scrappy looking.
"I... Am not sure what to make of that, sir. I certainly did not mean to have some affect to you." You apologised, heat rising to your cheeks.
"Come with me to my home so I may See you in your raw glory." He asked, averting his eyes, a similar heat rising in his own cheeks, bashful about your Might. You smiled, and nodded, offering him your hand, which he took in his own warm one.
It was a quick enough journey to his home, which was opulent to almost the point of gaudiness, evidence of his avarice and pride - sins you hoped to teach him to repent of once he saw your Holiness.
You stood in the centre of his living room, and he sat on the chesterfield couch, dark oxblood red leather as he sprawled and looked up at you. You allowed your eyes to close, and your mortal shell dropped, your Holy aura shining through, modern clothing dropping to the angelic robes you were comfortable with, your dappled white and silver wings catching on the light that emanated from your creamy halo.
He fell to his knees before you, staring up adoringly. You smiled at him, and held a hand out to him.
He took it, and then pulled you forward, causing you to stumble closer to him.
And then his head was under your robes, his hands gripping your thighs as he licked over your cunt.
You gasped, the heat of a tongue over your previously untouched genitalia was searing itself to your very core.
He growled quietly, and threw you down onto his couch, his own mortal shell dropping away as his leathery batlike wings spread above you, his long tail coiling around your thigh, the tip rubbing at your clit, causing you to cry out before his lips fell onto yours, his Unholy hands defiling your virginal body.
You couldn't bring yourself to dislike it.
He was everywhere, kissing and biting at your skin, shredding your robes with his clawed hands, and then smoothed his hands over your chest, admiring the smooth skin he found, before he took hold of your thighs, dragging your hips up to his face as he began to feast on your sweet cunt, long tongue pressing deep into you, touching at something that made your toes curl and your hips rocking into his face as he greedily ate you out, his tail dipping down and pressing into your ass, toying with you. You cried out, experiencing your first ever orgasm, light filling the room as you came. He moaned for a long moment, and the horns on his head seemed to become less blackened.
He then pushed your legs up to your chest and his long, inhuman cock pulsed against your cunt and up to your abdomen, promising to fill you so deeply that you didn't know what would happen.
He pressed into you, the feeling so strange, so new, so holy that you couldn't help but moan out as inch after long, agonising inch filled you, heat in your core that you'd never felt before seemed to drag out forever - until he was so deep inside of you that your stomach bulged somewhat.
And then he was moving, one fistful of feathers holding you and your wings in place, the other holding your legs against your chest, his tail toying with your clit, his demonic cock defiling your most sacred cunt.
And it felt so good, each thrust grinding up against everything you never knew you wanted grinding on. You came and came, and he kept fucking you, the pulse of his cock making you go wild - and then his cock changed shape between strokes. Where it had been mostly human shaped, it turned into a ridged tentacle, and each thrust had it pulsing and changing thickness, dragging against your hole and then seemingly giving you reprieve before changing again into being insanely thick, stretching you out.
You screamed as you came, and his batlike wings stopped being so dark and horned, becoming smoother and more supple.
Finally, his cock settled on another shape, with a bulb at the bottom that seemed to inflate and grow as he got closer to his own orgasm - his knot.
And when he knotted you, you could feel his hot demonic cum pour into your sacred, holy womb. He was defiling the most special place with his unworthy cum, but all you could think of was how good he looked being cleansed by your holy aura - and how his defilement of you had brought you from being the holiest of the angels to being more. His cum seemed to pump for minutes into you, distending your womb a little so you already looked pregnant - pregnancy wasn't something you were certain angels could experience, but if you could, he would ensure you did.
And that had you cumming again, around his enormous cock.
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violetfruity · 10 days
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☆How would BSD men react if you taught them to dance to your favorite K-pop song?
Characters: Chuuya, Dazai, Nikolai, and Fyodor
☆Chuuya
He wouldn't be completely against the idea, just curious as to why. It would take some time to convince him to dance with you. However, the more you practiced together, the more he started to like the song and the choreography. He would dance and sing the song when you were around or even by himself in his office at work.
☆Dazai
He would be very excited at the idea. He would dance with you and probably mess up on purpose every 10 seconds to get your attention and have you help him fix his mistakes. Once he knew the choreography by heart, expect him to dance every time and everywhere if he had the chance. He would use you as a shield if he got scolded by Kunikida for 'distracting and slacking off work.'"
☆Nikolai
Similar to Dazai, excitement filled his face. He would put all of his energy into learning the choreography. He somehow managed to remember it and the lyrics in just a few days so he could impress you. He would show Fyodor and Sigma his dance moves and be so proud of himself.
☆Fyodor
You had to be a brave person with a lot of courage to ask him to do such a thing. He would not dance at all and wouldn't even give it a try. But he appreciated the fact that you danced in front of him to show him a good demonstration. He would probably hum the song to himself in his head.
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ylskquevmxv · 1 year
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British insight for those military men fics
Coming from a British person
Use this for your angsty british backstory
Will include:
-insight to healthcare and low income situations
- opinions on the royal family (all negative)
- british food
- talks about home life and low income
• none of them would care for the queens death. They would not be mourning, they would not be sad, they're not tories. If anything theyd be glad and wishing death upon the rest of them. The monarchy sucks the only downside is that we have Charles and camilla now. Diana rest in peace
• to add on to this they wouldnt care for the coronation they would most likely insult it, they probably hate the entire royal family like almost all of the entire uk does. I am repeating this again but they are NOT tories 🚫nuh uh🚫 stop painting, price, gaz and ghost as people who love the royals while soap hates them 💀💀 they all hate the monarchy
• they most likely wouldnt drink fancy tea Pg, Yorkshire, tetley etc are their go to because that's what most of the uk drink especially low income houses as it's the cheapest. Taste of home I guess.
• also they're not out here eating beans on toast whenever they get the chance💀 they're probably eating an entire meal because they're giant men??? Like beans on toast is what parents give to their kids because it's cheap and fills them up, the only time they're having beans is with:
1) breakfast
2) jacket potatoes
3) sasauge and mash
4) Gregg's bean and sausage pasties
• also soap probably eats beans too?? I've seen fics where hes wholeheartedly against beans like??? Hes Scottish?? I know he ate beans as a kid, no one grows up and decides to have a mohawk otherwise
• they're all meat and potatoes type of men (like all british men) that's it. That's the facts
• fries =/= chips
• also british people are like really lazy when they speak
"would you like a cup of tea?"= "fancy a cuppa?"
"I'm just not in the mood to do that" = "cant be arsed"
"How are you?" = "ya alright?"
"Should we get some Chinese/Indian/Italian/etc food?" = "you want a chinese/Indian/italian/etc?"
• we tend to just drop words off In sentences because the person were talking to probably already understands what we mean and because like I said we're lazy
• British accents also vary so much!!! Even if you're from the same street you'll probably have a different accent and we also swear a lot, we also use a bunch of mixed slang as thete are people from everywhere over here (poland, Bulgaria, Romania, Lithuania, india named from just my class)
• Irish travellers are also really common so their would probably be a few in recruitment  idk why people dont add Irish people to their fics ?? maybe they fear putting Scotts and irish people together (watch big fat gypsy wedding for more insight I used to love that show)
• Aussies understand us pretty well (shout out to my uncle Andy) a lot of our language dialects are pretty similar and our humour is both pretty dry and blunt
• also British people dont care for like anything?? Even tho we have free healthcare most of us just slap a wet paper towel on it and call it a day. The most reaction you'll get is a room temperature ice pack
• british teeth are also something that Americans dont really understand since we have free healthcare but I'll they to simplify it. our Healthcare is free and so is dental care but only if you're younger than 16 except for check ups etc and unfortunately alot of us are born into low income households whose parents are a)mentally unwell b) physically unwell c) involved with drugs or are just simply neglectful so that means a lot of us arent taken to the dentist and by the time we are old enough to take ourselves we would have to pay for it and some of us just dont have the money for things like braces
• also I really want to see someone include chavs/roadmen in their stories because i think it would be funny plus some of them are really nice and genuinely curious when asking
• there are things called council houses/ council estates and they arent the nicest places to live and are usually not in the best shape but it's a place to sleep, most of the people who live there are usually people who live on benefits and are really lovely (might be biased I used to live in one tho), you usually have to top up on gas and electric every so often via a card (gas) and a key (for electric) usually able to get these topped up from you local corner shop
• alot of the nosies we make are as if we're cave men
*throws paper ball into trash*
Anyone in a 5mile radius: WOOOOO
• we also make up chants alot?? Idk why but we're just a musical country usually has something about your mum, your nan, a nonce, or one of the many other british wonders *nonce = pedo
• our beauty standards are a lot less extreme like theres obviously beauty standards but there are a lot more regular looking people on tv over here rather than supermodels ?? I've been to America and some of the people on tv you'd swear they were made in a factory for hot people only. Let people be regular
• British tv has a commercial every 15 minutes or so and our commercials dont offer lawyers or medication, some our commercials have songs, silly gags in them or are terrifying (check out: money supermarket, the antibiotic song, the meerkat adverts just to name a few)
• our eggs are orange not yellow
•our sandwiches have butter on them (not all but most) + brits arent much of foodies we just eat to survive really especially during the cost of living
• our drinking culture is a big thing over here, a lot of us start drinking around 13
• we have stores like asda, tesco, lidl, aldi, iceland, sainsburys and big Tesco, corner shops are really common depending on if they're owned by a large company or not some of them arent in perfect shape and are run my people from other countries but they have good stuff so who cares about how they look
• you have to be 16 to buy an energy drink and 18 to buy alcohol/ cigarettes
• outside cats are a thing, they're not homeless they just come as they go
• for some reason people are really classist?? Because how dare the poor be alive, and I'm not talking about just rich people being bad to the poor if you have bad living conditions expect to be made fun of by other low income people 💀 you'll be lucky if yoire funny because otherwise you will just be getting bullied.
•our weather is pretty much grey, our grass is almost never fully green and usually patchy, our summers are so hot they cause wild fires because we have no humidity and no air con, our winters are a hit or miss either too cold or a regular day
• tv shows that most of us call soaps: eastenders, coronation street, emmadale and hollyoaks
• some uk shows, naked attraction, snog marry avoid, friday night dinner, bad education, plebs, come dine with me, him & her, some girls, the Keith lemon show, gavin and stacey, not british but Derry girls, inbetweeners, anything with philomena cunk in it, the great british bake off
• Some documentaries (ish) for those who love information: old people homes for four year old, emergency, educating greater Manchester, educating Cardiff, poor kids, anything with stacey Dooley or louis theroux in
• it's kinda hard to describe the uk to someone whose never witnessed or experienced it.
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