#why is it just pitties as well. like there are plenty of other breeds with just as strong if not stronger prey drives and they arent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

savetheblackpaladin · 7 years

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Team Voltron + Doggos

I see your pupper head cannons and I raise you ex-Vet Tech and daughter of an animal control officer pupper head cannons

Shiro + American Pit Bull Terrier

as a man who was kidnapped, possibly tortured, experimented upon, and forced to fight I’m actually surprised that nobody gives this man a pit bull

in america especially, pitties are used for dog fighting because of their amazing sense of loyalty and eagerness to please. they are easy to take advantage of

Just imagine Shiro visiting this big beefy pupper with scars all over its face because it reminded him of himself

now don’t think about the moment shelter staff tells him it was a bait dog - forced to fight and when it refused, it was used as bait for other, more willing dogs

that dog will be adopted in a heart beat and shiro will spend the rest of its life spoiling the shit out of that dog because they’ve both been through awful experiences and deserve happiness

Of course Shiro knows he can never have another dog with an ex-fighter without serious training but it is his ambition to have all the ex-fighting doggos

beefy man with beefy dog, both with sweet dispositions? A+++ shit right there

Keith + Dachshund

I know, i know, but hear me out

Anyone who works with dogs on a regular basis will probably agree that the dog breed mostly likely to attack without good reason is the wiener dog (Here.)

ok, i may exaggerate but these little guys are feisty and it was routine at the vet clinic to have one person open a dachshund’s kennel and the other be ready with a towel to wrap that little guy up bc they were ready to get you

also you have to tape the heck out of their legs to keep an IV in because they will tear it out (tell me that’s not Keith)

stubborn, jealous, clever, playful, and loyal to their family these little guys are so full of personality but like Keith, you gotta offer support and proper redirection so they don’t go nuts and lash out

also, Keith carrying his pupper in his jacket with just it’s little head hanging out? Perfect. Beautiful. Revolutionary. Astounding.

Hunk + Newfoundland

these are true gentle giants. they are so sweet and they’re really really smart! Like hella smart!

also they were breed to haul things so imagine Hunk’s Newfy pulling a small cart while he loads it up with parts

Most Newfies are super friendly with kids, adults, other dogs, and are wonderful family dogs because they will tolerate just about anything - much like Hunk who is a literal ray of sunshine who just wants everyone to be happy

while not overtly protective dogs, there are tons of stories about Newfies jumping into water to save people from drowning so that goes nice with Hunk’s disposition as a literal shield for the smaller lions

where Hunk throws some serious shade at people he thinks are shifty (Rolo and Nyma) these big boofers don’t really do that but like all large dog breeds, there is still the possibility of your Newfie being a bit aggressive towards things they deem threatening

Hunk’s Newfie would totes pick up on anyone Hunk doesn’t like and just sit there rumbling. Once Team Voltron notices they’re just like ‘yeah ok, these people are not cool because listen, this dog likes everyone.”

Hunk getting covered in dog slobber every time he comes back into the room? Classic. <3

Lance + Chihuahua

These are super social puppers! Like, they are seriously prone to anxiety when left alone so for a cuban boy who is probably used to having tons of family around before he got launched into space this dog is a perfect match!

they don’t really care for other dogs, they just want to be with people and be liked by people, much like Lance who wants to be a bigger part of the team but feels like he’s left out

he’s got an inferiority complex and so do these dogs

seriously, chihuahuas talk some serious shit and will start things with dogs 5x their size. Lance kinda started shit with Keith, someone who he’s been compared to the moment he went to fighter class. you see the similarity?

but in reality this dog and this boy are just nervous wrecks who wanna be loved, please love them

unfortunately they can be prone to aggression which stems from their protectiveness but then I think of how Lance lashed out at Shiro for choosing Keith over him to go to the Blades and it’s like, ah yes. there’s that inferiority again.

While not the most intelligent dog breed, with hard work they can still learn a lot of things! I get the vibe that Lance also doesn’t have a lot of that natural talent (like Keith or Shiro who seem to learn things naturally), but he works extra hard and it shows in the end.

Lance is totally smart, he just has to work at it

I’ve known plenty of chihuahuas that took a bit longer to get the basics but once they did it was never lost. You just gotta be patient. They aren’t Aussies.

Lance would totally have a long haired chihuahua who wears bows and it always perfectly groomed. They go everywhere together with the pupper usually in either Lance’s hood or his arms.

Lance gets a chihuahua happy dance every time he comes back. He has a million videos of it.

Pidge + Australian Shepard

Pidge is super intelligent and kinda defensive if you keep needling her and she really reminds me of an Aussie

If this dog doesn’t respect you it will never do a damn thing you want which is very Pidge, and this goes hand in hand with just how smart these dogs are. they are hella smart, one of the smartest out there!

Aussies can be super protective of their owners but you gotta watch out for them mouths. Being a herding breed they will not hesitate to give a nip if you’ve crossed a line

I feel like Pidge can lash out if she’s feeling cornered or irritated and while she may not intentionally be mean, she can still say some hurtful things (i.e. when she snapped at Allura before the food fight) much like an Aussie who is saying ‘Hey, don’t do that.’ and nips because it’s what they do

Pidge is young and sometimes you gotta be like, ‘ok i get you’re upset but here’s why that wasn’t cool’, which is exactly what you have to do with a nippy Aussie. Don’t let either get away with that shizz

also aussies can get bored pretty easily without something to do so I think to get her Aussie to leave her be while tinkering, Pidge has it trained to fetch tools, the other paladins, and hold things for her as she’s working

also you will never be able to sneak up on Pidge bc Aussies are hella alert and will bark at everything

Allura + Borzoi

these are some of the most elegant dogs I have ever seen and they just fit my beloved Space Princess

not a breed for children or the inexperienced, borzoi’s can be quiet and reserved inside but they are also perfect workout partners!

they are runners so they’re perfect companions for that

however they are chasers (cats and dogs smaller than them need to watch out) so it takes someone with great strength and an excellent trainer to keep a borzoi in check

much like a princess, you will have a tough time getting this breed to listen willy-nilly (let’s say, unlike a Labrador)

were also companions to royalty so these dogs are used to getting what they want

can be sketchy with people they don’t know so like don’t touch them suddenly (I’m looking at u Lance) but if their yours they’re literally so chill and kinda silly

Allura lounging gracefully in bed with a glass of wine with her equally elegant pupper who wears a diamond collar? 11/10

Coran + Schnauzer

Two words: Matching. Moustaches.

But that’s not all these two have in common! Shnauzers are:

super intelligent with a knack for spotting weaknesses

stubborn

excellence guard dogs

more athletic than you would think (Coran has got a booty my dudes)

these dogs are easy to train but they also train you. they will learn everything they can and use it to their advantage.

had a neighborhood schnauzer who knew all the schedules of the college kids who walked by and if you were one who played with him he would toss his ball through the gate so you can throw it

would also bark at you if you didn’t actually throw it, you had to throw that thing because he would not stop until you did

if you ignored him, he would ignore you the next day but eventually forgave you

Coran is a royal advisor, these are regal dogs

the AKC describes them as ‘smart, fearless, sometimes willful; spirited, but ever reliable’ which seems to fit Coran as well

Coran and his Schnauzer waltzing downtown during a warm sunny day is my jam.

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helenarlett-rex · 5 years

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Yiffpunk Prelude 6: Vanessa

Vanessa frowned as she looked at the three roaches trembling before her. Roaches… They were by far the most worthless of henchmen but also the most plentiful when you found yourself operating out of the slums. Naturally they probably didn’t like to be called henchmen. Officially they were paid employees of Mountain Foot Courier Services LLC. But as far as Vanessa was concerned, if they didn’t like being called henchmen that was tough shit. She didn’t like being stranded in the Mountain Foot Slums with no money and no means of leaving. But her ex-husband didn’t give her a choice when he opened the car door and kicked her out there before speeding off without her. She had to work and struggle to build her company from the ground up in that filthy dump where everyone else was just as poor as she was. It hadn’t been easy and she’d had to cut a few dirty deals to get her head above water, but she had managed to do it. Maybe she still hadn’t earned enough money to get out of the slums, but she was at least one of the most successful business women in that pit. So she had earned the right to call her employees henchmen if she wanted to. And they had not earned the right to argue on the matter.

But she didn’t plan to stay in her current position for much longer. Vanessa had just scored a deal that would pay out big time. All she needed was to hire some know-nothing thug from the slums who was desperate enough for money that he would do anything and send him to recover a package and she would be set for life. She could finally say goodbye to that awful mud hole of a town and live somewhere nice again. Maybe she could even track down her ex-husband and have him killed. But that depended on finding the right man or woman to pull off this job. And her worthless henchmen were not making matters any easier on her.

“Okay this is a simple question… Which one of you is taking the blame for this?” Vanessa asked angrily as she looked down from the oversized flowerpot, which served as her favorite chair in her office, at the three quivering roaches. They each exchanged glances with one another but none of them stepped forward. Sighing, she pulled one shapely leg out of the potting soil and extended it down over the edge of the flowerpot, wiggling her foot at them. “Then you had better be ready to do some serious kissing up…”

The three roaches instantly rushed forward, pressing their mandibles to her foot as they kissed it over and over again. It was easy to be intimidating when you were a Venus flytrap and your staff were all insects. Plant people weren’t all that common. Even back in the days when Genetic-Co was still around, before the Genetic Purists kicked off their crusade against all things non-human, when it was perfectly feasible for anyone who wanted to walk into a clinic and have their genes spliced with whatever they wanted, there still weren’t a lot of plant people around. Not a lot of people wanted to be turned into a plant when becoming a humanoid animal was both considered more attractive by the social standards of the time, and called for far less lifestyle changes.

But today plants were even rarer than they had been back then. With Genetic-Co gone, the only ones around now were the offspring of those originals, which were few and far between considering there weren’t a lot of plant people around to populate the species in the first place. So Vanessa was a rare and exotic beauty. Her head was essentially all mouth. Flat and green on the outside, deep red on the inside, and lined with long, needle-like teeth from end to end instead of lips. While she did have eyes and ears, they were very small and invisible to anyone who didn’t know exactly where to look. That flytrap head was attached by a short, round stem to her body which was a stark contrast to her face in that it was mostly human in shape. It was still green like her head, and was made out of plant matter, but like natural Venus flytraps one would find in nature, it lacked any leaves or branches and was instead entirely human shaped.

And she had a beautiful figure to boot. A slim, hourglass figure with a tiny waist, curvy hips, long, shapely legs, and moderately sizable, perfectly firm breasts. And due to the fact that plants and animals couldn’t cross-breed, and again because there had been so few of them to start with, like all plants, her genepool hadn’t been corrupted through generations of inter breeding with women with dicks. She was all woman, as the definition had once applied long ago. With the animals you would be hard pressed to find a woman who didn’t have a dick. That was just the norm now. Only a very few anomalies popped up here and there who didn’t have one. But as a plant she had no such appendage between her legs and that was the norm for her species.

It was both her beauty and her rarity that had attracted a certain wealthy businessman to her and made her accustomed to the finer things in life as his wife in the first place. If she had only known back then that she was nothing more than a trophy wife and that her husband would quite literally kick her to the curb once he found a new one who interested him even more, she would have taken precautions to ensure she didn’t end up sitting in the office of third rate courier service in a slum just outside of Rabbitropolis with a bunch of pathetic cockroaches slobbering all over her foot in apology for letting what would have been the perfect candidate for her little deal go out and get himself killed.

“You know what…? This isn’t doing it for me,” Vanessa said as she reached down quickly and grabbed one of the roaches by the arm, yanking him up in front of her.

“Miss Vanessa, wait! It wasn’t my fault!” the roach pleaded just before she tossed him into her mouth and chomped down on him.

The other two quickly scurried away from her, backing up towards the office door, eyeing her wearily. Vanessa wasn’t exactly like a natural Venus flytrap one would find growing in nature when it came to her method of eating either. Her ancestors had been humans who’d had themselves gene spliced. So like her human ancestors she had a throat and a stomach. Instead of dissolving the roach in her mouth she tilted her head back and swallowed him whole. Which was no easy feat considering these roaches were each four feet tall. But she’d gotten in quite a bit of practice in swallowing prey that size so it was no problem for her at least to gulp the little guy down until he was making a sizable, squirming bulge in her belly.

Vanessa sighed happily as she patted her new belly bulge with one hand and looked back down at the other two roaches. “Alright now… One of you explain to me exactly how our good Mr. Chip died the night before he was supposed to leave on the job, when I specifically asked you to keep an eye on him. And maybe if the explanation is suitable I won’t send the two of you down to join your coworker in my digestive juices.”

“It wasn’t our fault,” one of the roaches quickly answered. “We were keeping an eye on him just like you ordered. Everything was going fine at first. But then Mr. Chip decided to go to a bar and start drinking. So naturally, we followed him in. We all took a seat at a booth where we could see him at the bar and ordered drinks so as not to look too suspicious.”

“So you were drinking on the job,” Vanessa nodded. “This is already starting to make sense.”

“Just a few!” the roach quickly protested. “And we were really nursing them. Drinking real slow… But Mr. Chip… he was knocking them back one after the other. He just kept tossing back the drinks all night. Eventually we realized that he was getting way too drunk and we needed to do something to stop him. But you ordered us to make sure he didn’t know we were following him, so we couldn’t just go up to him and tell him to stop. That was when Cleveland got an idea. He suggested that maybe if we got someone to go proposition him, then Mr. Chip would stop drinking and go have sex instead.”

“Okay, that doesn’t sound like a horrible idea,” Vanessa admitted. “Which one of you is Cleveland?”

“Uhh… He’s in your stomach…” the other roach said.

“Ah… Pitty…” Vanessa said patting her belly again. Cleveland’s squirming was starting to die down in there. “So you found someone to hit him up for sex?”

“Cleveland found a hooker and paid her to go talk Mr. Chip into bed with her,” the first roach continued with a nod.

“Hold on… A hooker?” Vanessa asked confused.

“Yes ma’am. It’s a woman who has sex for money,” the roach answered.

“I know what a hooker is! I just didn’t realize there was anyone left who still did that sort of thing… Who would pay for sex when most people will give it if you just ask?”

“Well this girl was special,” the roach continued. “She didn’t have a dick. And you know how hard that is to find… She was some kind of lizard… I think her name was Cleo or something like that? Anyways, Cleveland offered her a bank roll if she could get Mr. Chip to stop drinking and just fuck her for the rest of the night. She agreed and when she approached Mr. Chip we thought things were going to be all fine and dandy. You know, seeing as Mr. Chip was a lizard as well… We figured she would be perfect for him.”

“That would imply that she wasn’t perfect for him…” Vanessa said in one of her ‘not amused’ tones. The roaches both shivered at the sound of it. They knew that tone all too well. That was the tone of voice Vanessa spoke in right before she ate one of her henchmen.

“Well, umm… no… She wasn’t…” the roach admitted.

“What was the problem?” Vanessa asked.

“We looked into it afterwards… Turns out the hooker was a type of lizard called a green anole, and Mr. Chip was a bearded dragon.”

“I don’t understand why that’s a problem,” Vanessa said shaking her head.

“Oh, well… bearded dragons actually eat anoles. They are called feeder lizards,” the roach explained. “But I mean, we didn’t think to check on something like that at the time. Half the people in this town feed on the other half of the people in this town and we all get along just fine. People don’t normally get eaten under regular circumstances, you know? But I guess Mr. Chip was a little too drunk and I guess he was looking at her and thinking she would be pretty tasty…”

Vanessa held up a hand to stop him while rubbing herself between the eyes with the other. She could feel a headache starting to come on already. “So you are telling me you had a very drunk carnivore sitting at the bar getting drunker by the minute… A ruthless, cold blooded one at that… And you tried to hook him up with a girl without even checking to see if she was his natural prey? Are you seriously that stupid? What did you even just tell me? People don’t normally get eaten under regular circumstances? Come here.”

“What?” the roach asked a little bit confused and a little bit worried.

“I said come here,” Vanessa repeated, beckoning him forward with a finger. “I want to show you something.”

The roach cautiously stepped forward, approaching her slowly. The moment he was within reach, Vanessa grabbed him, moving with speeds even the roach’s reflexes couldn’t match, and pulled him up off of his feet. “People don’t normally get eaten under regular circumstances?! Is that what you just said? You work here! How many of you filthy little bugs do I eat on a daily basis? Answer me that?”

“Uhh… Several?” the roach asked, flinching and expecting to be gobbled up right there on the spot. But instead of going into Vanessa’s mouth she set him down on top of her desk. His legs were shaking as he did his best to remain standing and not run away the moment her hand had released its grip on him.

“Do you see my coffee cup there?” Vanessa asked.

The roach looked down at the mug of coffee sitting on the desk beside him and nodded.

“Taste it.”

“Excuse me, ma’am?” the roach asked.

“I said taste it,” Vanessa ordered sternly.

He nodded and picked up the coffee cup, raising it to his mouth with shaky hands, and took a sip.

“How is it?” Vanessa then asked.

“It’s… good…” the roach answered, not sure what she wanted from him but far too afraid to insult her tastes by saying her coffee wasn’t good.

“It’s not too hot for you?” Vanessa asked.

“No ma’am. It’s… it’s cold,” the roach admitted.

“How cold is it?” Vanessa asked.

“Ice cold,” the roach answered.

“That’s right,” Vanessa nodded. “My coffee is ice cold. I just had that cup brought in here before I called you in. Do you think my coffee should have gotten that cold in the small amount of time you have been standing here explaining yourself? If it was a fresh cup, like I asked for, should it have gotten that cold that quickly?”

“No ma’am,” the roach shook his head.

“I see…” Vanessa said musing over his answer. “But I asked for a fresh cup… If a fresh cup shouldn’t have gotten that cold that quickly, what explanation could there be for why my coffee is so cold?”

“It… wasn’t a fresh cup…” the roach answered slowly.

“Oh is that what happened…?” Vanessa asked then pressed the button on her desk intercom. “Patty, will you come in here for a moment?”

A moment later the office door opened and a female cockroach stepped inside. “Yes ma’am?” she asked.

“Will you come over here, Patty?” Vanessa asked. “Hop up on the desk next to, uhh…”

“Houston,” the roach on her desk answered.

“Hop up here next to Houston,” Vanessa nodded.

Patty nodded and scurried over and up onto Vanessa’s desk, taking a place beside Houston. “What can I do for you ma’am?” she asked sweetly.

“Patty dear, you’ve been my secretary for how long now?” Vanessa asked.

“Two months, ma’am,” Patty answered.

Vanessa nodded. “And in that time, you have learned how I like my coffee, haven’t you?”

“I believe so,” Patty nodded.

“Well you see, now we have a problem,” Vanessa frowned. “Because I like my coffee fresh and hot. And if you know how I like my coffee then when I asked you to bring me a cup, you should have brought me a cup of fresh, hot coffee. But Houston here says that this coffee is not a fresh cup. He says it is ice cold.”

“What?! That’s not possible!” Patty protested. “I made that coffee fresh just the way you like it! The same way I make it for you every day! I promise!”

“Well that can only mean one thing,” Vanessa said shaking her head. “It means one of you is lying to me. Either you are lying to me about bringing me fresh coffee, or Houston is lying to me about the coffee not being fresh. Now you know I won’t tolerate my staff lying to me. So I’m afraid I’m going to have to eat one of you now. So which one of you is it? Which one of you is lying to me?”

“What?! No! I didn’t do it! He’s lying to you!” Patty shouted, pointing accusingly at Houston.

“Ma’am, wait… I could be mistaken… I mean… it’s possible that the coffee did get this cold while we were standing here talking. There is no need to punish anyone over this…” Houston said at the same time.

“Hold on… So you’re saying it was a fresh cup? But you just said it wasn’t? Which is it, Houston? Are you saying you were just lying to me?” Vanessa asked.

“What?! No that’s not what I’m saying!” Houston quickly argued.

“So then Patty is lying to me?” Vanessa asked.

“I’m not!” Patty protested angrily.

“No! I’m saying there was a mistake!” Houston tried to argue.

“A mistake?” Vanessa asked suspiciously. “As in Patty only thought she brought me a fresh cup but she mistakenly brought me an old one? I guess that’s not so bad. Everyone makes mistakes…”

“Right! That’s all it was… A mistake,” Houston nodded eagerly.

Vanessa then turned her attention onto Patty. “So is that what this is, Patty? It’s just a mistake? Do you think you might have possibly grabbed the wrong cup on accident?”

“I… I guess it’s possible…” Patty nodded.

“Thank you, Patty. That’s all I needed to know,” Vanessa smiled.

“So then, everything’s okay?” Patty asked a little unsure.

“Everyone makes mistakes, right?” Vanessa asked with a shrug.

“Right. Everyone makes mistakes,” Patty nodded just before Vanessa’s jaws chomped down around her. The girl could be heard screaming from inside Vanessa’s mouth as she tilted her head back and started to swallow. Houston shivered unhappily as the screams continued to be heard as Patty slowly slid down Vanessa’s throat. The sight of the young secretary creating a roach shaped bulge in the flytrap’s throat as she continued to slide downward sent a chill down his exoskeleton. Vanessa knew just how disturbing the sight of what was happening was to the roach so she swallowed the girl down as slowly as possible until finally Patty was bloating her stomach out even farther than it already was and at last the screams were muffled enough that they could no longer hear them.

Smiling down at Houston still standing on her desk she said, “Do you see that? I just ate my secretary because she made a simple mistake. So what were you saying about people not normally getting eaten under regular circumstances?”

“Uhh… I…” Houston stammered trying to find the right words but Vanessa was already tired of listening to him. He tried to run when he saw her hand coming for him but he wasn’t fast enough. Before Houston had time to process what was actually happening he was already in Vanessa’s mouth and taking the plunge down her throat to join Patty and Cleveland.

“Oh god…” Vanessa sighed, resting both hands on her stomach. “I’m so fucking stuffed… The rest of this story had better be good. Because I don’t even know if I can fit you in there with the rest of them at this point,” she said looking over at the last remaining roach. “What was your name again?”

“Portland,” the last roach answered from where he was trembling in the corner.

“Very well, Portland. Please continue… You bought Mr. Chip a hooker but he ate her? What happened then?”

“Well… he didn’t eat her right away,” Portland answered. “At first we thought he was going to take her back to his place and fuck her, like we wanted. So we started following from a distance to make sure they made it back. And they did… Then we snuck up and watched through the bedroom window to make sure things were going okay. And they were… But after a while we got tired of watching them fuck. Once you’ve seen one peep show you’ve seen them all. So then Houston was all like, hey I’ve got a pack of cigars. You guys want to go smoke them? And we were all down for that but we couldn’t just sit there and smoke them right under Mr. Chip’s bedroom window or he would smell the smoke. So we walked down to the street to smoke them.

“So there we were, standing on the street out in front of Mr. Chip’s front yard, smoking cigars, when suddenly we heard this loud crash. Like glass shattering. And it came from Mr. Chip’s house. So we ran back to see what had happened, and we found his bedroom window broken. We looked through it and there was this human in there with him now. Also the hooker was gone and Mr. Chip’s stomach was several sizes larger than it had been. I guess ate her while we were out smoking.”

“Hold on… Who was the human?” Vanessa asked.

“We looked into it. He’s apparently just some thug who beats people up for money,” Portland answered. “But he also lives with that hooker it seems, so I think he may be moonlighting as her pimp or something. But either way, we don’t know how he found out what was going on. Maybe he was following the hooker the same way we were following Mr. Chip… But the guy was an animal. And he was pissed… He grabs Mr. Chip by the throat and holds him up with one hand. Mr. Chip’s feet weren’t even touching the floor… Then he throws him clear across the room into the bedroom mirror. After that he jumps on Mr. Chip and just starts pounding him in the face with his fists over and over again. Then he pulls a drawer out of the dresser and starts pounding him in the head with that. Then he lifts up one side of the dresser itself, moves it over top of Mr. Chip’s head, and drops it on him. It was like some serious roid rage…

“But then he spots the broken glass from the mirror and picks up a shard and uses it to start slicing Mr. Chip’s stomach open. And I should point out that Mr. Chip is somehow still alive while he’s doing this. Oh god, the screaming was terrible… He ripped Mr. Chip’s stomach wide open and actually pulled the hooker out. And she was still alive! Uhh… Mr. Chip wasn’t after that point…”

Vanessa sighed and placed a hand over her face. “So you are telling me that Mr. Chip is dead because he was killed by an angry pimp after he ate a hooker? A hooker that you idiots set him up with without bothering to check if she was something he might want to eat? So in other words, if you idiots hadn’t set him up with that hooker he wouldn’t have eaten her and the pimp wouldn’t have killed him…”

“Well it sounds really bad when you say it like that…” Portland admitted. “Are you going to eat me now?”

“No, I’m not going to eat you,” Vanessa sighed, shaking her head. “These three are already threatening to ruin my figure as it is…” she said patting her belly. “But at least tell me you can find this pimp again.”

“Yeah, I can find him. His name is Bugsy. Like I said, we already found out where he and the hooker are shacking up together. Do you want me to take some men and go kill him for you?”

“No. I think he might actually serve as a good replacement for Mr. Chip if he’s anything like what you described,” Vanessa said, a smile starting to grace her face once more. “Do you remember my associate, Donald Snipe?”

“Yeah, he’s the guy we shipped all those weird eggs for,” Portland nodded.

Vanessa nodded in agreement. “Put together a folder on our dear Mr. Bugsy and deliver it to him. Tell him that his boyfriend is cheating on him and I thought this might be just the thug to rectify the situation.”

“Alright,” Portland nodded and left the room.

Once he was gone Vanessa pressed the button on her intercom again. “Patty, I need you to… Oh… Wait…” Vanessa chuckled to herself and rubbed her belly as she looked down at it. “I forgot for a second there… I was going to tell you to cancel my lunch because I already ate a working lunch, but you already know that, don’t you?”

She then picked up the phone on her desk and dialed the number for Donald’s boyfriend. “Hi there, Lee. This is Vanessa. So I’ve been thinking… When are we going to stop playing this little game and just do something about it? No, I’m not joking. I’m looking to get fucked and you were the first person who came to mind… Yeah? How’s my place sound? Tonight?”

Mr. Chip had been perfect and losing him had been quite a loss, but all of the new pieces were falling into place already so it wasn’t too much of a setback. Now she just hoped Donald wouldn’t take too long to hire this Bugsy guy to take care of Lee for cheating on him. She wanted to see what Mr. Bugsy was made of with her own eyes. Hopefully he would take care of Lee while they were together. It would be the perfect opportunity to offer him the job. Plus she didn’t want to have sex with that slime ball, Lee, any longer than she had to…

And with that taken care of there was only one thing left to do. She needed to hire a new secretary. Patty had a daughter who could use a job, didn’t she? Maybe she would last longer than her mother had… Vanessa hoped not. Patty had been unusually delicious and she was hoping it ran in the family.

This has been a Yiffpunk prelude story. Look for the official Yiffpunk novel, coming soon.

#smutfic #Yiffpunk #Helen Arlet

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