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thelifeofprettycommitteealpha · 3 years

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How to Act Like Massie Block

Steps

We'll start with attitude, by far the most important aspect of being like Massie Block. If you only take one thing from this, remember that you must always show, radiate, and have CONFIDENCE! This means not pointing out your flaws to others, (ex: "My hair is so frizzy today!" or "Is this top cute? 'Cause I'm not sure...") having good posture and always looking straight ahead, (never at the ground) and not ever letting people know when you feel unsure of yourself or your opinions. Never appear to be upset. Don't cry or make comments about how "your life sucks." You must always make it seem as if you have everything together, and that your life is perfect, or else people will never idolize you. Even if you're majorly embarrassed about something, you have to just laugh it off and forget it (don't make it a big deal). You can never show weakness!

Another crucial part of your Massie transformation is looking the part. Massie is gorgeous. She has straight, extremely shiny brunette hair, about shoulder length, sparkling amber eyes, and perfect skin. You don't have to look exactly like this, (always choose the look that works best on you) but you must always appear your best.

Without a fabulous wardrobe, Massie would be nothing. Be a true fashionista and wear expensive clothes from stores/designers like BCBG, Coach, Juicy Couture, Ralph Lauren, Seven For All Mankind, Guess, Lacoste, C&C California, Marc Jacobs, Joie, True Religion, etc. Always dress to impress! Never leave the house in sweats and a T-shirt (unless they're Juicy!). Even if you can't afford uber-expensive clothes, make sure to always look pulled together and stylish, with coordinated accessories and cute shoes. Don't tell anyone where you got your cheaper clothes unless you have a social death wish! A final note on inexpensive clothes: don't ever wear anything that looks cheap. This means don't go for the Wal-Mart or Target look when you can be buying low-priced (and way cuter) clothing from Forever 21 or Wet Seal. Oh, and no too tight/too big tacky clothing please. Wear stuff that fits you and looks good. Not sure? Get a second opinion. Make sure your underwear/bras are cute, too, from stores like Victoria's Secret or underglam.com. Trust me, people do notice in the locker room when you're changing. Never wear the same outfit more than once every two weeks or more: if you double up, people will think that you are thrifty and don't have very many clothes...and we wouldn't want them to think that, would we? No.

Massie is the queen bee. Popular. Worshipped. And how does she do this? By looking fabulous, having the right attitude, and establishing her dominance by using intimidation. Get together a clique of the prettiest and most fashionable girls in the school, 3-4 others. Make sure you are their leader. Your beta (second in command) should be the most loyal. The other girls should also be loyal and reliable; make sure you have at least one nice-ish girl to keep the peace in your clique. If you don't all get along, you will never rule. It's all about unity. This doesn't mean you can't boss them around though--it's what Massie would do! Test the waters by starting off really nice, then gradually getting a bit harsher. If they stick with you, you'll know you have 'em forever. Lighten up a bit if they start to stray. Make sure people are somewhat scared/intimidated by you, so that you know they'll do whatever you want. Be totally snobby to the losers at your school (a.k.a. basically everyone outside your group). Chances are, you'll be so fabulous by then, it will only make them idolize you more.

You must be thin to maintain your social status! This means very little or no fatty/sugary foods like chips, soda, candy, fried chicken, pizza, etc. It's a tough sacrifice to make, but well worth it in the long run! Work out regularly on a treadmill, doing crunches, squats, or playing the specified sports below. Chew sugarless gum. Never be too skinny or develop an eating disorder. Not only will many rumors be circulated about you, but you could even die from it!

Get super shiny hair by using shine shampoo, (such as Citré Shine or Brilliant Brunette Shine-Release) shine serum or spray, (know your limit--don't use too much or your hair will look greasy) and rinsing out your conditioner with cool water (as cold as you can stand it!). Straighten your hair with a good-quality flat iron and consult hair magazines or a hair stylist to find the best cut for your face (but never shorter than shoulder length!).

If you desire brown eyes, (and you don't have 'em) experiment with color contacts.

Achieve your best skin by washing your face morning and night with a good cleanser (Clean & Clear works great) and exfoliating and moisturizing daily. If you have dry skin, wash your face once per day and use more moisturizer; if you have more oily skin, skip the moisturizer. When you're drying your face, remember to pat, not rub, (rubbing pulls the skin and causes wrinkles). If you have bad acne that cannot be fixed by this skincare regimen, see a dermatologist.

Now for make-up...it can do so much for your face, turning you from plain to perfect in a matter of minutes. But be careful not to wear too much--you want to be like Massie, not Nina! Wear an eyeshadow in a natural color like brown, gold, or beige, (or whatever subtle color compliments your eye color) thinly line your eyes with a black or brown eyeliner, add a coat or two of blackish-brown mascara, and conceal all of your blemishes with the right shade and amount of concealer. It's also very important to remember your lip gloss--Massie would never leave home without hers! Buy a variety of different good-smelling flavors and bring them everywhere you go.

Make sure your teeth are bright-white and perfect. If your teeth are crooked, use "Invisiline" rather than getting braces (a lot more attractive!). Whiten your teeth with laser procedures or Crest Whitestrips. Brush at least twice a day with whitening toothpaste, and remember to floss!

Tips

Get a super cute dog (the smaller the better) such as a Chihuahua or a Pug, in black, light brown, or honey color (they're the cutest). You can also get a kitty; they're ah-dorable, too. Tell your pet everything, (yes, you can talk to her about your insecurities!) and love her as your child. Dress her in the cutest fashions, (this works best if you have a dog) and take her on walks in the evening with your Louis Vuitton leash.

Use words like "ah-mazing," "ah-dorable," and "ah-nnoying". Say "ehmagawd!" when you're shocked, surprised, or excited about something. When something is well-known and "ah-bvious" to you, say, "Given!". When you have the same opinion as someone, say, "Ah-greed". When something someone says strikes you as reasonable, say, "Point!" and draw an imaginary "1" with your finger if you desire.

Have the best and biggest room. Go with Massie and have everything be white, no exceptions! Make sure you have a queen-size bed, (you are one, right?) an Apple computer, a giant walk-in closet to store all your ah-mazing clothes, and a leather chaise by your bay window to have long phone conversations and brush your pet before going to bed. Vanilla scented candles are a nice touch, too. Have everyone refer to your room as the "iPad".

Sports are luh-ame unless they are something classy and don't involve getting dirty like Tennis, Horse-back Riding, or Volleyball. And shopping, of course!

Purple is the official color of royalty. Therefore it's your favorite color. Wear it, love it, decorate everything from books and pens to your cell phone with it (purple rhinestones, of course!).

Speaking of cell phones, you need one! It's the perfect way to stay updated on gossip and keep in contact with your friends. Make sure you have a texting plan so that you your clique can silently dish about stuff in class, detention, wherever! Cover it in Swarovski crystals and bring it everywhere you go.

Get together a carpool with your clique. Taking the bus is so ew!

Wear a charm bracelet with charms such as a shoe, Eiffel Tower, dog or cat, (whichever you have) star, and most importantly, a crystal-encrusted crown! Make sure the charm bracelet is gold, and never have any of the charms be silver (tacky much?). Buy it from Tiffany if you have the money.

Always have your fingernails and toenails perfectly manicured! I highly suggest a french tip for fingernails, because it coordinates so well with everything. Have them done at a fancy salon with your clique afterschool or on a weekend for a fun activity.

Throw a fabulous party to increase your popularity. Invite everyone.

You must always be prepared with a witty comeback for if, on some rare occasion, a wannabe insults you. One of my favorite Massie-style ones is, "Did I invite you to my barbecue?...Then why are you all up in my GRILL?" Consult the Clique books for some other great ones, or make some up yourself. Never let anyone get the best of you or think that they have won. Remember that YOU are in charge. YOU make the rules.

It helps to have an AIM account, or MSN, you'll need it to keep in touch with you friends one-on-one!

The magazines Teen Vogue, ElleGirl, and Lucky are your bible. Read them religiously(but not in a creepy way...)

Warnings

Be prepared to receive some backlash from the people that wish they were you. In other words, the jealous people. They may spread some pretty nasty stuff about you, but respond with something positively catty (your beta will help) to show them who's really the boss.

There may be occasions where controversy arises in your clique. Like a power-trip, where a girl in your clique suddenly wants the throne. Start by putting her in her place by telling her off in the hallway (preferably with many people around). If she still doesn't get the hint, kick her out the group and recruit someone new. Chances are, she'll come crawling back, begging for forgiveness. Let her back in after a little while, and ditch the temporary.

Many people will probably think you're a mean person. But they'll still love you, and wish they were just like you (they'll love to hate you). This is inevitable if you want to be on top like Massie. You'll get used to it.

#lifestyle tips #beauty tips

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hayjeon · 4 years

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Tips on creating fun fanfic headers!

i had so much fun writing the fanfic writing tips yesterday and i got a few more questions about header-making, and so i decided to make one more of these! i hope these tips help somebody out there! hope you enjoy :)

p.s. these tips won’t require any hard editing skills or photoshop skills, nor any expensive tablets/apps!

typically i spend around ~5-10 min creating one header, and that’s either after i think of/finish a fic. i have so much fun doing it and sharing it with you that i figured i’d share how i do it!

why headers?

as I talked about in my fic tips, one of the most eye-catching things about fics are headers. when i’m scrolling through a rec page, my home page, a tag, or even someone’s masterlist, i’m immediately drawn to well-made headers. that’s what captures my attention, and then i’m more drawn in by the content. so, you can say that headers is your own version of an ad for your own fic, or an extension of it (like the cover of a novel!)

if you were writing your own book, imagine how much time you’d spend figuring out what you wanted your cover to look like. i try to have as much fun and invest as much time making my own headers because it’s just the cherry on top to my finished product :)

disclaimer: BUT HEADERS ARE NOT NECESSARY/DO OR DIE! if you don’t feel like you want to do this, then keep writing! its ok! this is just a suggestion. i’ve seen plenty of well-written fics without headers at all, so don’t beat yourself up over not having one/not wanting to do one. this is truly just a fun, extra kind of thing, and only keep reading if you want to learn how i do it! :)

tips for people who don’t want to make headers: if you still want something to make your fic stand out, use gifs! i use them in my drabbles a lot! this will at least give ur fic a lil boost!

how to find pictures

I typically use unsplash, which is a free website in which photographers upload their HQ pics for free use. the pics are really high quality, typically stock photos, and don’t have any logos on them like other ones on google. unfortunately, you won’t find any pics of the members or anything, but you’ll find beautiful stock photos of typical scenes like “ocean scene” or “desert scene.” I found the stock photo for cut me open (shown below) on that site by just looking up “medical” or “doctor”.

i used to use google a lot and just use keywords like “desert scene HQ” and edit the search settings to deliver HQ pics, and a minimum # of pixels, but unplash is definitely better in terms of quality, more aesthetic photos, and no logos/watermarks.

on some occasions, i will screenshot some scenes of youtube videos, turning up the quality to 1080p or 4k and zooming in so that the pixelation is as crisp as possible, and then editing it later to look good (which i’ll explain in a second!)

the above photo was a scene from the specific characters from the drama, “100 Days My Prince” that I screenshotted from a youtube video that TvN uploaded, recapping the drama. I cropped it just right so that their faces were left out, which i’ll also mention soon!

things to look for when picking pictures:

you want the picture to reflect a specific motif/theme from your fic! if its a moody fic, then try to find a moody scene that you can edit with filters/lighting to look even moodier; or if the characters’ jobs are a big portion of the fic (like cut me open/doctor theme) try to look for stock photos with that shown very clearly!

make sure its high quality: tumblr really dumbs down the quality of the photo when uploading it, so try your best to find something with a lot of pixels in it so that when you start editing, you don’t sacrifice too much of the quality already

try to look for something simple/clean: a picture with too much subject (ie. people in the background, or too much detail) may end up taking away from the main point of your header, which is your title. so find pics without too much clutter!

try to make sure its landscape: which will help during editing to save some of the quality better.

editing your pictures

now that you have a specific photo you want to use, now its time to edit! I use VSCO CAM (free app) and my own apple photos cropping tool for faster crops.

crop/adjust: if your picture is too large/wide, crop it to at least a 16:9 ratio. i’d say aim for skinnier if you can, so that you don’t take up too much space (especially if you’re planning to add headers to your masterlist). also crop out any faces, any clutter, any unnecessary details, so you have a nice, clean slate to work on when adding text.

contrast/sharpen/clarity/white balance/etc.: i’m not gonna give you a lesson on photography, but i’ll tell you I learned like 80% of everything that i know just by fiddling with it on VSCO! So just try it out and play with the app, see what you can make of it. i’d say a rule of thumb to follow is that you want happier fics with a brighter tone, and moodier/angsty fics with a darker tone so that it can reflect the nature of the fic further, without saying anything!

if you wanna be extra af like me, then go a step further and photoshop your pics. this one is a good example; when i screenshotted this scene from another youtube video for my fic One Year My Love part 2, i was specifically looking for a scene that would showcase the ornate/regal details of their clothing/environment in contrast to part 1′s modest clothing/scene (the first header in this post).

i found this scene, but actually, this scene portrays the Crown Prince and the Princess, not y/n. So, the actors weren’t smiling at all! They were actually frowning at eachother in this scene, to portray the tension between the two characters and their marriage.

So, I took the extra step, adjusting the pic with VSCO so that their shoulders/chins were at the same level, cropped off their faces up until their lips, and then used the adobe photoshop free app to photoshop their lips to be SMILING at eachother!!!! subtle, but important!

call me crazy for taking that much time but i’m so proud of how it turned out and i loved every second of making this one. that way, this scene makes it portray the happy ending for Jungkook and y/n!

adding text to your header

you can use any app out there, but i really like Font Candy! I actually ended up buying the 2$ version of this and never regretted it, but you can actually find a lot of their basic fonts on the free version; I tend to use the fonts: OSTRICH SANS, BEBAS, TREND, and INTRO the most! these are pretty clean-looking, block letters that look good whenever i put them as my titles.

I love this app too cause you can easily control the spacing between letters to make them take up more space, add shadows, or even make them contrast their background using the overlay feature; like this one i made for wildest dreams (see how the text changes depending on what part of the photo its on? amazing! it’s literally with a click of a button!!)

And i’ll always add “written by HAYJEON” or “by HAYEJON”, space it out, and add it somewhere underneath as my own branding.

orrrrrr

if you want to be more creative, you can even go a step further and use whatever you have on hand to enhance whatever you’re trying to portray.

for this one, i ended up finding this amazing photo on unsplash and i thought it would do a create job of portraying the “movie-set” quality of what wildest dreams is going to be about. this stock photo had someone else’s names on it, so i used my ipad, and used instagram to just erase the existing writing with the color of the background, and then wrote in my own title and url with my own handwriting/apple pen!!!

i thought this was pretty cool because it’s like wildest dreams is its own movie/has its own movie set, which, once it’s out, you guys will see that it’s supposed to be!

saving/uploading

this is pretty easy/obvious, but i figured i’d mention it. all the apps i mentioned are available on the appstore, and they will save directly to your photos. after doing that, i’ll just upload them into a special folder i have on my google drive so that when i’m finished writing a fic on tumblr using my laptop, i can easily download the photos without sacrificing quality. easy!

and that way, i can save them forever; even if i have to delete them from my computer, i can always redownload them!

side note: making text separators

i just recently started doing this, but ever since tumblr took down their text separators, i’ve just been cropping the bottom like 5-10 pixels of the header to use as my text separators! (with my laptop)

i saw some other writer doing it and thought that it looked better than what i had used previously (a cropped photo of a random line i found on google); i found that doing this tied my fics together a little better and just looked better aesthetically;

so there it is! hope you enjoyed! :) i would love to see what other tips you guys have been using, feel free to send me an ask or reply to this post; and if you end up using any of my tips, please let me know! I love to hear from you guys all the time <3

lots of love, especially during these times,

hay <3

#writing tips #story talk

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xrcasingphone-blog · 4 years

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Is the iPhone 4S a Huge Waste of Money? Find Out Why You Should Keep Your iPhone 4 and Not Upgrade

With the iPhone 4S on the market it's only natural to question whether you should buy that or the older model iPhone 4. I didn't have this option when I purchased the iPhone 4 because the 4S wasn't out at the time, and by the time you purchase your iPhone there will probably be about 10 other newer versions out. Of course I'm kidding but apple do tend to release a new iPhone every year. dq-solutions

In this review I am going to be looking at the iPhone 4. https://www.wikihow.com/Charge-an-iPhone-XR

What's in the box?

If you're already a customer of Apple then you will know that most of their products come with the bare minimum, the iPhone is no exception. Inside the box you will receive:

The iPhone 4

USB Connector Cable

Power Adaptor

Mini Sim Card

Should you buy an iPhone 4?

The answer of this question ultimately comes down to your preference. Personally I haven't yet tried the iPhone 4S so I can't comment on how good that device is, however from looking at the phones specifications and user reviews for the extra money you would pay for the 4S I think personally I would prefer to save some money and stick with the iPhone 4.

Blackberry users thinking of making a switch should note that iPhone's now come with something called iMessage, and basically it's a free way of communicating with other iPhone users just like Blackberry messenger.

The iMessage feature really isn't that big of a deal to me as my network provider already gives me unlimited texts in my price plan, but if you haven't got unlimited texts and you have a lot of friends using an iPhone then this feature will save you a ton of money. iIMessage also allows you to send images to your friends free of charge.

Processing Power of the iPhone 4

If you have done your research into mobile phones then you will know that some mobile phones have dual cores, without getting two technical the more cores you have the better processing power your phone is going to have. There are other factors that come into play such as the clock speed of these cores but like I said for the purpose of this review I won't get too technical. The iPhone 4 only has a 1GHZ single core processor whereas the newer model phones such as the Samsung Galaxy 2 have 2 cores. This however shouldn't put you off as the iPhone will handle all the tasks you want it to. I have only ever found the phone to go slow when you are running multiple apps simultaneously.

iPhone 4 Phone Design

iPhone 3 and 3GS users will be used to their sleek looking device with the curved plastic back, and I must admit I loved this design, so when the iPhone 4 came along with its rectangular and flat design I was rather put off and thought initially that it was borderline ugly.

Without a phone case there is no question that I still prefer the feel to the 3GS over the 4 but with a case I find the iPhone 4 easier to grip and it feels like a much more solid mobile phone.

The iPhone 4 is much different from its little brother the 3GS its much more compact but still weights 137g, so you get a much smaller yet compact device that feels solid. The side of the phone is stainless steel where the front and back are made out of some type of reinforced glass.

I have seen one review website saying that one of their employees has dropped this phone out of a low level window and nothing happened to the phone, now sorry I don't believe this at all. Maybe they wrapped the device in bubble wrap first and then tried it, but otherwise this device will crack. Having said that if you drop this phone from your pocket to the ground then you shouldn't receive any problems, but just to make sure I would recommend getting a cheap case off eBay or somewhere like that.

iPhone 4 Camera

I have never used an iPhone camera previously to owning this iPhone 4 so I wasn't sure of the quality that the phone would produce. On using the camera I very much like it, I think the quality of image is great the colors are realistic and the built in flash is pretty good but can sometimes overexpose the image. I often find myself using the built in flash as a torch with the iTorch4 app. The HDR mode is also pretty cool and what this mode does is take 3 different exposure levels and blend them together to give a cool looking image.

The high definition video recording is also something I wasn't expecting from a mobile phone and I was surprised when I saw that the iPhone 4 had it. Once again the quality is excellent and Apple has done a good job with implementing this into such a small device.

The iPhone 4 has 2 cameras built into it and I probably should have mentioned this earlier. One of the cameras faces outwards and this is the camera I discussed above and one of the cameras faces inwards. This camera is useful for the face time application. This application is like a webcam that allows you to talk to other iPhone/iPad users. Face time allows both parties to see each other and communicate. The camera that is used for this isn't as good as the main camera in my opinion and often gives a darker and grainier picture.

iPhone 4 web browsing

Before owning the iPhone 4 I owned a blackberry curve 8900 and web browsing on that mobile phone was painfully slow and quite often didn't even work. In fact I would say the Blackberry 8900 web capabilities were nonexistent. Upgrading to the iPhone was amazing. Now you may already browse the web with a different mobile phone and it probably works well for you, but when you have a device that never works and transfer to a device that is very quick and simply works I assure you it is amazing.

The iPhone 4 displays websites in high definition and this is because of the "retina display" the phone has. I have no idea what a retina display is, I simply know that the images on screen are always sharp and crisp.

The iPhone 4 is also very quick when using the internet and this is because it has 3G and WiFi connection capabilities.

The one problem that I do have with the iPhone is that it doesn't support the use of Flash files. This means that the iPhone doesn't display any flash movie and seeing that YouTube is full of flash movies then it becomes a problem. One way around this is the YouTube app for the iPhone. YouTube have started to convert their movies so that they will work on the iPhone, but because of the amount of files on their website this is going to take time. The YouTube app works fine but I find that often the videos that I search for don't appear in the way they would if you search online. An example of this is if you searched for "The Beatles" then you would get a ton of song covers before any of the songs performed by The Beatles.

Battery Life

As I mentioned above, previous to owning this phone I owned a Blackberry 8900 and although that phone was rubbish the battery life was pretty good. I could easily go a day and half without charging it, with the iPhone this isn't the case.

If you listen to music, write on Facebook/Twitter, check your emails and play on your apps then you are going to drain your battery down. The iOS 5 update also uses up more battery power again, but don't be alarmed, I use my phone all day and have never run out yet, although I have come pretty close.

The iPhone 4 will generally need to be charged at least once a day if you're a heavy user like me.

iPhone 4 conclusion

The iPhone 4 is a great touch screen mobile phone that has great internet and media capabilities. The best thing about any iPhone is the wide range of applications that are available to download for it. Being a student I get to commute a lot and because of this I often use my iPhone and my Kindle to keep myself amused. The wide range of apps available allows me to pass the time without thinking of the traveling I'm doing.

Final Word

The iPhone 4 does it all and I really don't see the need to update to the 4S, save your money and enjoy this great smart phone. After all no one will know whether you have the 4 or 4S as they are both identical to look at.

#iphonexr #providers

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crystalninjaphoenix · 5 years

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The Day it Almost Ended

Septics Inverted

A JSE Fanfic

A little bit shorter than the other stories, but it’s a pretty simple one so eh. It started out as “what’s a normal day in this household like?” and then I threw the Pax Anti video in there because that needs an explanation in this AU. And, uh, yeah, that’s it. Stuff happens because of that

Read the intro story: Part One | Part Two

Various other AU-related stuff found here

Taglist: @evyptids @awkward-bullshit @watermelonsinmyattic @asunachinadoll @a-humble-narcissus @metautske @odysseus-is-best-boi @acuriousquail @beerecordings

Jack woke up with a pounding headache. For a moment, he tried to remember if there was a reason for that, but when he couldn’t come up with anything he gave up. Must just be a bad day. He groaned, and rolled over to look at the clock. It was nine-thirty. That meant it was time to get up. He sighed, then managed to pry himself away from his bed. He stumbled toward the dresser, grabbed some clothes, then considered taking a shower. He decided against it; he was too tired and the water would just wash out the color in his hair. After getting dressed he climbed down the stairs to the kitchen. And then he realized he could hear the shouting. Already? It was so early.

“Some of us have a personal life, unlike you, discount Punisher!”

“I have a personal life, bitch, I think the word you’re looking for is ‘limits,’ and in that case you’re the one lacking!”

“Well I’m fucking sorry that I want to do more with my life than jump around in spandex beating the shit out of criminals!”

“Do more with your life?! I’d say that—”

Jack walked into the kitchen, and everything immediately stopped. “Morning guys,” he yawned. “Glad to see we’re off to a fantastic start today.”

Nobody said anything. Jackie was standing by the toaster, glaring at Marvin, who was in turn standing behind the counter and glaring right back. Chase was sitting at the dining table, picking at his scrambled eggs. After an awkward silence, he looked up and said, “Hey Jack. Didja sleep well?”

“Yeah. I have a headache, though, so maybe I slept too long. Did someone make breakfast or is it a free-for-all?”

Chase pointed towards the fridge with his fork. “There’s still some leftover eggs from yesterday in there, but if you don’t want those you’re gonna have to fend for yourself.”

The toaster popped. Everyone jumped. The atmosphere in the room was way too tense for sudden noises. Jackie sighed, the plucked the two bagel halves out of the slots, then strolled over to the silverware drawer, grabbed a butter knife, grabbed some butter from the cupboard, and began applying said butter to the bagel. He did this all while not looking away from Marvin, who was standing still as a statue.

“You know what? I’m just gonna...grab some cereal.” Jack edged around the staring contest, quickly getting the box from the cupboard and some milk from the fridge before power-walking over to the table and sitting down next to Chase. “Where are the others?” he asked.

“Still asleep,” Chase explained.

“Yeah, I figured Schneep would be.” The doctor’s clinic was usually open all night, so his sleep schedule was pretty off. “But Jameson?”

“He was out late. You know that, uh...fuck I can’t remember what it’s called. The, like, police charity gala? He got an invitation and went.”

“Huh. Didn’t know he knew anyone in the police.”

“Apparently it’s a new thing.” Chase shrugged. He glanced over towards Jackie and Marvin. “Jesus, they’re still...hey, are you two losers goin’ to actually eat or are you too busy having a Mexican stand-off but with eyes?”

“Fuck off, Chase,” Marvin said automatically. “You know what? I have better things to do. See you guys later, unhopefully.” He turned and left.

“That’s not a word!” Jackie called after him, causing a flurry of purple sparks to shoot towards his head. He barely ducked in time.

“What is with you two?” Jack griped. “Why are you always about to tear each other’s throats out?”

Jackie sighed. “It’s just...he’s a dick, but he thinks I’m one.”

“Don’t worry about it, man.” Chase said. “It’s not like they’re out to murder each other or anything. It’s...well, maybe I should have done a personality assessment for potential roommates. They’re too different.” He shoved a bit of breakfast into his mouth before continuing. “Anyway, what were you planning on doing today? More recording, or do you want to go down to the shop with me?”

“Probably just the first thing.” Jack sighed. “But god, that’s gonna be hard with this headache.”

“You can do it, man! I believe you can power through it!”

“Thanks, dude.” Jack rubbed his head. “Guess I’ll have to, huh?”

“Yeah. But it’ll be okay. I promise.”

After a bit, Jack went back upstairs. Chase immediately turned to Jackie. “Dude, if you’re going to shout at Marvin, can you shout things that won’t clue Jack in?” he hissed.

“What? What did I say?”

“It was what you were about to say. You were like, ‘more out of life, I’ll say that’ and then you stopped when Jack came in and I just know if he hadn’t you were gonna end up mentioning Marvin’s...you know.”

“Oh, you mean murdering people and worse in the basement?!”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean!” Chase coughed, uncomfortable. “Look, I get it, Marvin’s...yeah...but Jack can’t find out! He’ll freak, and you know that! Plus, you’re giving Jameson extra work and he has a life outside of us. I don’t think it’s a good idea to piss him off when he could decide to leave at any time.”

Jackie thought about this, then sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. But if I have to listen to him brag about his ‘discoveries’ one more time...” He didn’t finish the threat, just clenched his fist like he was dramatically squashing a bug.

Chase rolled his eyes. “You don’t have this problem with Schneep,” he muttered.

“Th-that—that’s different! Henrik’s a doctor, we need him. And he’s all...well...y’know, so I can’t blame him. Plus, he doesn’t call me a no-good do-gooder under his breath every time he sees me.” Jackie took a bite out of his bagel. “I’m goin’ upstairs to check the web, text me if you need anything.”

Chase gave a little salute. “Will do, Mr. Boy Man.”

Jack took a break from recording around noon, coming back downstairs for a quick lunch before heading on to the next game. He passed Schneep and Jameson in the living room, the former curled up on a couch with headphones and his phone and the latter sitting in an armchair with a book. They weren’t talking, though for all he knew Jameson actually was but he was projecting to Schneep alone. Jack waved to them, but neither responded. That was okay. He made himself a quick sandwich/chips combo, ate fast, then went back upstairs.

“Jack! Wait a moment.”

Jack stopped where he was on the staircase, looking back down. “Yeah, doc?”

“You were not planning on going to the Pax this year, were you?”

“Uh...” Jack bit his lip, trying to remember. “No, I...I think I decided there was too much to do here, and travel was too hard.” He gripped the banister tightly. He was feeling dizzy all of a sudden, his vision going in spirals. “Anyway, why?”

“Well..” Schneep held his phone up for Jack to see. “...because there is now a video on your channel called ‘Pax Special Announcement/Surprise.’”

Jack felt his heart stop. “I...didn’t upload that. You don’t think...?”

“It is possible. I have not watched it yet. Do you want to join me?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’ll be good.” Jack climbed back down the stairs, settling on the couch next to Schneep, leaning over his shoulder to stare at the tiny screen of the phone.

The video started out...normal. Jack, or someone who looked like Jack, began by saying “Well hello there! Before we get right into this, I just want to come right out and say I won’t be going to Pax this year. I’m really sorry guys, but unfortunately life is...being a bitch right now...” A small giggle. “And I just can’t make it. There’s so much planning that you need to put into travelling, and I’m still sort of behind on videos from the time I was sick—”

“When was I sick?” Jack blurted out.

{Back in January.} Both Schneep and Jack startled at the mental interjection. They looked over to Jameson. {Don’t you remember? It was after that disturbing dream you had, right before Marvin strengthened the wards. You were bedridden for a week, it was horrible.}

“Oh. Yeah, uh, now I remember. Thanks, dude.”

The “Jack” onscreen was still talking. “—actually originally planned on going, and I filmed a speci-sp̵e͏ci̧a̕l̀ vide͏o͞ for you guys, to show there.” That glitch didn’t go unnoticed by Jack. “I figured it wouldn’t do anyone any good just sitting on my hard drive, so I might as well post it. But first, you guys have to do something. You know how much I love audience interaction, so what I need you to do is all take out your phones. Or, you know, your iPad, anything with a camera. I’ll just...wait a minute. This is—it’s kinda awkward, isn’t it? But you’re all ready now? Okay, so what you hav͟e͟ tó ̧d͢o iś—̢” The video was interrupted by a horrible, electronic breaking sound as the screen went black. But the visual came back, severely lowered in quality and lagging. “—place ̸yo̕ur̕ p̶h̡o̡ne̢ in͟ you̷r̕ ͝han̡d͝,̡ ̴an͝d̀ ͝j͏ust—” another glitch to black.

Jack glanced at Schneep, who only gave him a worried look. Then, the video returned, red and green pixels flashing across the screen, partially hiding images that...they looked familiar to Jack. Maybe he played games like that? But they seemed more real than anything. Then, black. Nothing except for a question, echoing. “A͡re you ̷th̢ere?” Jack found he was nodding. Why was he nodding?

And then he was there. His appearance was slightly different, more align with Jack’s than his own, most noticeable in the green hair and the lack of an eye-patch. But there was no mistaking the knife, or the bloody bandages around his neck. “Lo͢o̕k ͞a̵t you al͝l̴! ́J͏u͢st sittiņg͟ ͟t̴heŕe—y̷o̧u͝ t́ho̶u͢g̨ht it̵ wa͠s ov̶e̶r̛—no̶t͟ ̷w͝o̸rryi͏n͢g̨ a̵b̢o͝ùt ͞a͝ny̧t͏h̵i̵ng͝. Yòu a͝ll͞ t̢h͟ought I ̀wa̶s ̶gon͞e͡...̵b͢ut̡ I͏'͟ve b̨e̸e͡ń ḩere̴ this͡ ͏entire ̕t͡im͟e!͡ ̢Kee͏pi͢n̷g an—̶ e͏͖͖͉̗̞y͇̭̞͓̗̰͡è̫ ̮̥̜͖̞͕o̼̗̪̬̻̰̳̕n͖̥̫͍̫̝ ̤̣͟t͎hi͖̥̱n̡̻̞̭͉̲̱̖g̱̰̤̬̫̥ș̜. Yơu͢ s̀t̀opped̨ pa̡yi̵ng ̡a͢t̶te̡nti͟on!̕ We͡l̶l, I̧ ho͏pe yo͏u'ŕe̛ happ̸y. Ỳou ca̡n't͢ se͏e t́he͞ ̛s͠ig͞ǹs.̛ ̀Thręw m͢ȩ asidè! Did̶n't̴ r̡e̵ad͏ t͢he ͝warn͝i̸n̛gs.̸ I'm̨ ͞not g̷o̸ing̕—͠a̢n̷yw̢he̵r͝e̕!̷ ͡I̸'m̨ ͡alwa̢y͡s ͝the̶re, Aļ́w̨ą͠ys̶ Wa͠t̀͟c̵h͞͞in̴̡g.̀ They ca̶n̸'̛t͝ ̡get ri͢d ̧o͞f͞ m͟e.” One final cut, and...“E̕nj͏o̴y your ̴'v̀id̷e̢os͟.'̷” The words sounded bitter.

A few more seconds of dark silence, and then the video ended. Jack leaned back. “What...what does it mean?” he asked, a tremble in his voice.

“I think it is a warning.” Schneep turned off his phone. “To your viewers, saying he is still there, and to us, saying he can get inside the channel whenever he wants. He could make how many fake videos and ruin your life.”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Jack didn’t know where the words had come from. Yes, of course he would, he was a monster, he was a demon...and yet...he had the strangest, niggling feeling in the back of his mind.

{Jack, I think your eye friend wants your attention.}

“Wh—Sam!” Jack looked over to the tank in the corner of the room. They’d made it relatively recently, because he hadn’t really...trusted them with the secret of Sam’s existence. But he’d decided they were safe. So he told them. He couldn’t remember the actual moment he did so, but how else would they have found out about Sam?

Jack rushed over to the tank. Sam had been bonking on the lid, looking at him. “What is it, bud?” Sam wanted to see the video. “Well, Schneep can bring his phone over—” No, that wouldn’t work. He scared Sam. “C’mon, Sam, you gotta get over this.” Sam would not. They knew something was off, they didn’t like the way he looked at them. “Well, if you insist. Hang on, I’ll open the tank and you can come upstairs, I’ll show you on my computer.” Sam thought that was a good idea.

With a little effort, Jack pried the lid off the tank and Sam burst out in a spurt of green liquid. They immediately settled on Jack’s shoulder. “Comfortable?” They were. “Alright. Hang on, then.” Jack dashed upstairs. Jameson and Schneep watched him go in silence.

“How do they talk?” Schneep asked. “It has no mouth but Jack understands it just fine!”

{I’m...not quite sure, to be honest,} Jameson admitted. {If it’s a form of telepathy it’s not one I can detect. Jack just seems to know what Sam is feeling. They are definitely connected somehow.}

“Fascinating...” Schneep turned his phone back on, opening up the YouTube video again. “I think we will have to go over this with the others, yes?”

{Indeed.} Jameson stood up, then took Jack’s vacant spot on the couch. {I could feel a definite shift in Jack during that video. I believe Anti thought it would help jog his memory.}

“But how did he do this? How did he reach into Jack’s channel? And how did he change his appearance to match closer to Jack’s? Can he shift shape?”

{My good doctor, I think you need to calm down and focus on the more immediately problem. Jack cannot remember.}

“True, true...but someday I want to find the answers to these questions. And maybe I can answer my questions about Jack’s eye as well. Anyway, will you need to undo his mess?”

{Hmm...perhaps not. I’ll wait until the end of the day to see if there’s any lasting effect. But if there is...I think I may need to strengthen my approach, if one glitch’s video can break through it without too much difficulty.}

Jack was starting to get uneasy. After he showed Sam the video, he’d scrolled down through the comments, reading the viewers’ reactions. He thought he’d done something like this before...looking for the viewers freaking out in reaction to a video he posted. But when would that have happened? He was a gamer, he never uploaded anything this level of shocking. The closest it got was Halloween, but he’d been scared then because Anti was taking over...that...was how it went down, wasn’t it? He just couldn’t shake the feeling of the glitch over his shoulder, but not...in a hostile way...

Most of the comments were very typical. Along the lines of “Aaaaaaah oh my god Anti is here!!! Aaaaaaa!!!” But there were a couple theories, comparing this sudden dropped video to the Halloween one, which had been built up.

Well, if he was looking for theories, he needed to be on a different website. On a whim, he switched over and searched up the jacksepticeye tab, scrolling through the results. Lots more of the “Ohmigodanti” reactions. He kept refreshing the search, looking for new...yeah, he definitely remembered doing this before. Only now there was Sam with him, instead of...but that wasn’t possible.

Then, he came across a post. Just a single question: “Does anyone else think that Anti isn’t, well, particularly evil?” Reading that, Jack felt...he didn’t know how he felt. Like he’d just remembered something, but there was nothing there. Most of the responses to the post were like “He possessed Jack and slit his throat, how is that not evil?” and that seemed the rational response...it was, wasn’t it?

Boop. The sound of his text alert startled Jack out of his...whatever this was. He picked up his phone from where he’d dropped it on his desk and read the text from Chase: Dude, are you coming down for dinner or what?

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered to himself. “Sam, you ready to go back in the tank or do you want to hang around a bit more? I...miss hanging out with you. We don’t do it as much.” Sam missed it too, but they wanted to return to the tank. It was safe, and they didn’t think his friends were. “They’re fine, Sam. If they wanted to, like, murder me they would have done it by now.” Sam was worried about him. “...thanks, bud. I appreciate it, but everything is okay.” Sam wasn’t sure about that, but if Jack insisted.

Dinner was the only time when everyone was home and awake to eat at the same time, so it was usually an event. Jackie or Jameson usually cooked, and they all sat at the table and made (sometimes awkward) conversation. There wasn’t really a defined seating arrangement, but they all sort of fell into the same pattern. Jackie and Marvin sat as far away as possible from each other, Jack usually sat next to Chase, or sometimes Jameson or Jackie, Schneep usually sat near Jackie or occasionally Chase, and Jameson sat near Marvin. There were only so many ways to sit with those requirements.

It was spaghetti night, because neither Jackie nor Jameson felt like cooking and spaghetti was easy. Jack was hungry, but he couldn’t bring himself to do more than pick at the noodles. He had too many thoughts, and they all contradicted each other.

“You okay, Jack?” Jackie asked.

“Uh...yeah, I’m just...thinking.”

“About what?”

“Well...I don’t know.” Jack dropped the fork. “You all saw that video on the channel today?”

Everyone nodded. “Are you going to delete it?” Chase asked.

“Maybe. But...after watching it, I feel...” Jack put his head in his hands. “I feel...like I’m forgetting something. Or that something is wrong. And I keep thinking about Anti, and I think I have weird memories...and Sam is worried about me...”

“Okay, that’s cool.” Marvin didn’t seem to be paying attention. He kept glancing toward Jameson.

“Maybe your headache is just playing tricks on your brain, Jack!” Schneep suggested. “That is a thing that can happen if it is bad enough.”

“Really?” Jack was skeptical. He would know about that, wouldn’t he?

“I think you need to get your mind off things,” Marvin said. “Hey, Jameson and I are working on something, and we need a third person. You wanna help?”

“I...literally don’t know anything about magic.”

“Well, that’s okay. We just need you to observe what happens, take notes, tell us if you feel anything, like, psychically. Not too hard.”

“I don’t...” Jack paused. It wouldn’t hurt to help them out, would it? {No, it wouldn’t.} And it could help him forget this whole mess of a day...{it seemed like a good idea.} “Alright, if you insist. After dinner.”

And indeed, after they’d all finished Jack followed Marvin and Jameson down into the basement. The other three, stuck cleaning up, exchanged looks.

“You don’t think...this will have any side effects, do you?” Chase asked.

“I hope not,” Jackie muttered.

“What kind of side effects?” Schneep asked.

“I don’t know! Just!” Chase glared in the general direction of the basement door. “That’s my friend! And I don’t know if this new thing will work. Doesn’t it seem kind of risky to have two people doing the spell at the same time? Like, they’d distract each other?”

“I think it will be fine,” Schneep said dismissively. “Jameson is knowledgeable, and Marvin is very skilled. They will be fine together.”

“Well...I guess this is our best option,” Jackie said reluctantly. “Still never liked this whole...thing, but...”

“It will be fine.” Schneep’s voice left no room for argument. “You will see.”

Jack woke up with purple at the edges of his vision. It faded away. He wondered why that was, and then he forgot what he was wondering about. He felt great.

To his surprise, when he came downstairs to get something to eat before starting the day, everyone was awake. That was something he’d only seen maybe twice since joining the household. Schneep, Jameson, and Marvin were all in the living room, and Chase and Jackie were sitting at the table eating in the kitchen/dining room. “Is there an event or something?” he asked. “Why is everyone awake? Did all our sleep schedules just align?”

“Oh hi Jack!” Chase said. “You feeling alright?”

“Yeah, actually. Pretty good! I might do some VR games today, full of that energy.”

“Nice, dude. Here, I got you some toast.”

“Aw, thanks.” As he sat at the table, munching, he felt...like he was forgetting something. “Hey, uh, what day is it?”

“Friday,” Marvin called from the living room.

“Uh, actually I meant date. I think my phone’s off.”

“It’s the tenth of March,” Jackie said. “Why?”

“I just felt like there was...something I was supposed to be doing. But I think it must be because I’m not at Pax this year. I had my panel scheduled for today until I had to cancel it.”

Chase shrugged. “Well, unfortunately travel difficulties don’t just go away.”

“Yeah.” Jack finished off the toast. “I’m goin’ back up now. You guys know where to find me.” He disappeared up the stairs.

Everyone left collectively relaxed. “Either he is a better actor than he thought, or he really does not remember what happened the day before yesterday.” Schneep breathed a sigh or relief.

“And...you’re sure I’ll never have to do that again?” Marvin asked, turning to Jameson. “I have more important stuff to do with my day.”

{Relax, Marvin.} Jameson waved away his concern. {Now that the spell’s set in motion, it can run on its own energy. It just needs to be kicked into gear every week or so, and that is something I can do on my own.}

“Alright. Okay. Good, we’re all good.” Chase laughed nervously. “God, that was close. We almost lost him.”

Across the city, a screen was smashed. Then the smasher immediately regretted it. That security monitor was an important window into what the hell was going on in that house, he really needed to stop this.

Anti forced himself to breathe, the strange, steadying motion bringing him back down to earth. It was okay. He’d just adapt. First, he’d see if he could still reach Jack through the combination of the house’s wards and the mind spell, whichever spell it may be. Then, he’d get a new screen. Then, he’d figure out what, exactly, this new and improved method was. It was fine. It was fine. He just had to try again. Some of the keener fans were starting to catch on, though they still thought this was all a game. So that was a helpful thing that came out of this.

But still, it stung knowing he’d almost had him back.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #septic egos au #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #chase brody #jameson jackson #dr schneeplestein #antisepticeye #septic eye sam #septics inverted au #invertedau #brigid writes fanfiction

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realwomanleader-blog · 5 years

Text

Tell me I can’t - I dare you

Even though I work for a TV network, it still took 4 pitches before I got accepted to start a show.

Need I remind you - I have no support network, driver’s license, or access to public transportation. I have to conceptualize, shoot, produce, and edit this entirely on my own, with exceedingly minimal resources.

...oh, and I run marketing for 3 media companies, and support 76 authors in various stages of publication. We’re a startup to boot - no I don’t get paid very well.

I welcome these challenges, because this, ALL OF THIS, is directly on the path of who I envision myself to be.

I wouldn’t change it for anything.

I’ll blaze this trail clear and wide for anyone who’s ever been told they can’t, or it’s dumb -- or it’s the dream or some “friend.” You are BORN PRICELESS and you can do exactly as you dream.

Only you can ever know yourself best.

You can be the only person who believes in you, and succeed.

“Don’t believe me? Just WATCH.”

Formula Won is all about “weird ways that work, better.” I’ll interview disruptors, put myself in awkward situations, and show off useful life and business hacks. Surfing in New Hampshire in April was my first Random Acts of Randomness bit - just one of many new things you can laugh with me trying out in a quest to be my best self.

With the concept figured out, that still left... everything else.

I count my blessings that my ex-husband is an audio engineer, and I’m insatiably curious.

During our 9-year marriage I picked up all kinds of highly useful audio know-how like when to use condenser and dynamic mics, what phantom power is and why it matters, what frequency response is and why it matters, how and when to equalize, what not to use and how to mix, and many, many tricks of the trade.

I picked up a Zoom H2n field recorder and used it pretty extensively while we were together - enough to know mics are never set-and-forget. It’s always best to have headphones with you to test the output in various settings, and regularly babysit that levels monitor.

I also count my blessings that I’m currently living with a photographer. He’s not too keen on video, but his know-how on cameras, lenses, lighting, and composition - not to mention his sense of artistry - have been HUGE as I acquired some of my last bits of equipment and started experimenting with them.

Another tremendous blessing - working for a traditional publisher has its perks. I have direct access to an indie film producer because we published his memoirs - actually, I detail-edited his memoirs, and coached him through launch to bestseller. He’s seen some of my first videos and said “everything about that is experimental” - something I take as a high compliment. Having someone like that to offer feedback is something I am MASSIVELY grateful for.

Bloom Where You’re Planted

Do I have the very best equipment? Nope. But do I have sufficient equipment to get started?

YUP.

And I’m willing to bet you do too, in whatever you endeavor.

I was fortunate enough in recent years to have a bit of money once or twice, and I used that to get myself an iPad Pro 12.9″ and iPhone X. A former co-worker bent that iPad Pro over her knee (not very thoroughly - she’s a skinny little twig) and my employer replaced it. So I now have 2 iPad Pros.

That’s 3 camera angles, but not very portable.

Weird Ways Tip: smartphones have decent cameras, and you can enhance those moderate capabilities with inexpensive clip-on lenses.

I dug into my cell phone junkyard and found nothing but 720p cameras, or worse. But I know this old man in town - I used to serve him at a previous job, and he was exceedingly regular. He became a family friend, frequently watching my son for me after school.

These days I go over to his place once a week to chat over coffee. He doesn’t usually have many new stories, but he’s always enlivened by telling them. Last week, he replaced his phone and couldn’t get it set up for the awful signal strength. I let him borrow my phone to get it done, and he remarked what a waste it was to buy it.

So rather than go to waste, I offered what cash I had in my pocket for it - one highly portable 1080p camera angle acquired.

Then he went digging through his phone graveyard, and just dropped the lot in my lap on my next visit.

Now, I have a total of 5 highly portable camera angles: 2 1080p camera phones besides my iPhone X (which also does 4K), and 2 720p cameras (one camera phone, and my old Canon AS4000).

I also went on eBay and found myself a gently used Zhiyun Smooth 4, and bought the FILMiC Pro app. For $100 additional investment I’ve got myself seriously high-quality capabilities. For about $50 more, I’ve got a total of 5 highly portable camera angles and clip-on lenses to make them almost pro.

Weird Ways Tip: it’s often MUCH better to break the box. Need a camera gear bag? Don’t get something that screams “steal me!” with a price tag to match - diaper bags also come in waterproof flavors, with tons of pockets, cozy shoulder straps and back padding, USB pass-throughs, side tripod holders, hands-free hangers (aka stroller straps), and stylish color-matched knee pad (aka changing pad)... WITHOUT the big price tag or high profile.

My favorite gear acquisition by far was only $20. It’s a diaper bag, in backpack form. And it holds ALL my gear, very very neatly. The front-most outside pocket even perfectly fits my bullet journal. Even when it’s fully packed, the pocket behind that front-most is roomy enough to keep a few snacks, too.

Now armed with 2 lapel mics (I only bought one - Nicama sends a second one when you leave an Amazon review), plenty of tripods, clip-on lenses, an object-tracking gimbal, high-quality field recorder, and diaper bag...

All that’s left is practice.

Follow my journey here on Tumblr, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

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prettiwaves · 5 years

Text

trident task 5: the basics

Basic Character Questions

First name? Waverly

Surname? Keating

Middle names? Amelia

Nicknames? Waves, Wav

Date of birth? August 3rd, 1994

Age? 24

Physical / Appearance

Height? 5′2″

Weight? 110 lbs

Build? thin

Hair color? blonde

Hair style? straight with bangs

Eye color? hazel

Eye Shape? big

Glasses or contact lenses? none

Distinguishing facial features? lips & jaw

Which facial feature is most prominent? eyes

Which bodily feature is most prominent? ass

Other distinguishing features? big fan of makeup

Skin? pale as hell

Hands? thin fingers with lots of small marks from poking herself with a needle

Make up? always, generally a natural look with darker eyes

Scars? looks like a crescent moon behind her left ear

Birthmarks? an array of dots on her right hip bone

Tattoos? none

Physical handicaps? none

Type of clothes? handmade and very fit to her style, she enjoys lace on the highkey

How do they wear their clothes? confidently

What are their feet like? everything has to look perfect, clean shoes and clean feet

Race / Ethnicity? American

Mannerisms? blunt in her words and actions

Are they in good health? yes

Do they have any disabilities? no

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse?

Do they have a catchphrase? no, way too corny

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? depends on the day

Are they introverted or extroverted? extroverted

Do they ever put on airs? absolutely, all throughout her life

What bad habits do they have? not the cleanest when it comes to her villa

What makes them laugh out loud? terrible jokes, bad movies, people she likes

How do they display affection? physically first of all and then she’ll be very attentive

Mental handicaps? she was never diagnosed, but definitely has ADHD

How do they want to be seen by others? perfect

How do they see themselves? very flawed

How are they seen by others? closed-off

Strongest character trait? confidence and loyalty to her family

Weakest character trait? moments of doubt in herself

How competitive are they? not generally unless they feel threatened

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? snap judgments but they can be convinced

How do they react to praise? very well

How do they react to criticism? they’ll act like it’s fine and they don’t care and then think a lot about it later

What is their greatest fear? losing someone she loves

What are their biggest secrets? the way her parents treated her and the things she did to get by growing up

What is their philosophy of life? survive and enjoy it while you do

When was the last time they cried? like 3 days ago

What haunts them? the possibility of seeing her parents again

What are their political views? anti-royals

What will they stand up for? girl power

Who do they quote? no one, come up with your own sayings

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? depends on the day

What is their sinful little habit? love that sex

What sense do they most rely on? touch

How do they treat people better than them? she doesn’t consider anyone better than her

How do they treat people worse than them? she also doesn’t consider anyone worse than her

What quality do they most value in a friend? openness

What do they consider an overrated virtue? patience

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? her neediness

What is their obsession? definitely sex

What are their pet peeves? people that chew with their mouth open

What are their idiosyncrasies? always fixing her outfit or hair

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? her twin brother and older brother

What is their perception of family? her brothers

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? yes ^^^

Describe their best friend. her twin, literally know everything about each other and are definitely connected on another level

Ideal best friend? she already has that

Describe their other friends. her crew and people that she can stand to be around

Describe their acquaintances. people that don’t seem to be too awful

Do they have any pets? no

Who are their natural allies? people with good taste that aren’t annoying

Who are their surprising allies? people from completely different backgrounds

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? very sickly as a baby, always smaller than most her age growing up but always energetic

Did they grow up rich or poor? very very poor

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? very very neglected

What is the most offensive thing they ever said? that’s the ugliest dick i’ve ever seen in my life

What is their greatest achievement? becoming a pirate

What was their first kiss like? gross and wet

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? left them

What are their ambitions? she would love to have her own clothing line

What advice would they give their younger self? you’re stronger than anyone will ever think you are

What smells remind them of their childhood? fried food

What was their childhood ambition? to be an actress

What is their best childhood memory? the day her brothers and her skipped school and went to the fair

What is their worst childhood memory? any time their parents were especially abusive

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? no

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? when she didn’t get to see her brothers for christmas

What past act are they most ashamed of? sleeping with people for money

What past act are they most proud of? joining neptune’s rage

Has anyone ever saved their life? yes

Strongest childhood memory? throwing a fit when her brother and her weren’t in the same class in second grade until they put them together

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? no

Are they in a relationship? yes

How do they behave in a relationship? very sexually

When did you character last have sex? yesterday

What sort of sex do they have? all the kinds

Has your character ever been in love? yes

Have they ever had their heart broken? yes

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? with threats of her own

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? tongue

What is your character’s kryptonite? the people she love s

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? ipad with all her sketches

How do they perceive strangers? threats

What do they love to hate? annoying people

What are their phobias? snakes

What is their choice of weapon? knife

What living person do they most despise? her parents and her elementary school principal

Have they ever been bullied or teased? yes

Where do they go when they’re angry? anywhere near water

Who are their enemies and why? anyone that’s trying to bring harm to anyone she loves

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? boatswain

What do they think about their current job? love it

What are some of their past jobs? escort, ice cream shop, cheer coach

What are their hobbies? design

Educational background? some highschool

Intelligence level? smart when she applies herself

Do they have any specialist training? nope

Do they have a natural talent for something? design and sewing

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? cheerleading and gymnastics and yes

What is their socioeconomic status? middle class

Favorites

What is their favorite animal? lion

Which animal to they dislike the most? snakes

What place would they most like to visit? greece

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? the sun rise

What is their favorite song? sweet creature - harry styles

Music, art, reading preferred? yes, art then music then reading, it’s hard for her to sit down for an extended period of time

What is their favorite color? pink

What is their password? bubbles17

Favorite food: anything chinese

What is their favorite work of art? the scream

Who is their favorite artist? Coco Chanel

What is their favorite day of the week? friday

Possessions

What is in their fridge: all fresh food

What is on their bedside table? glass of water and her ipad

What is in their car? don’t have one

What is in their bin? condoms

What is in their purse or wallet? makeup

What is in their pockets? phone

What is their most treasured possession? necklace her brothers gave her for her sixteenth birthday

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? older brother

Do they believe in the afterlife? unsure

What are their religious views? god is a dick

What do they think heaven is? a lot of sex

What do they think hell is? a lot of fire

Are they superstitious? no

What would they like to be reincarnated as? a bird

How would they like to die? peacefully and not alone

What is your character’s spirit animal? lion

What is their zodiac sign? Leo

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? taking everything of love

What is their view of ‘freedom’? safety

When did they last lie? can’t remember

What’s their view of lying? too much effort

When did they last make a promise? two weeks ago

Did they keep or break their last promise? so far so good

Daily life

What are their eating habits? natural and healthy as can be but with a strong sweet tooth

Do they have any allergies? none

Describe their home. modern and generally neat except for a few articles of clothing here and there or magazines piled up or notebooks

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? generally a minimalist

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? shower

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? sex

What do they do on a Friday night? drinking and sex

What is the soft drink of choice? anything with alcohol

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? tequila or vodka

Miscellaneous

What is their character archetype? Popular Bitch

Who is their hero? Coco Chanel

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? audrey hepburn

Are they comfortable with technology? yes

If they could save one person, who would it be? their twin

If they could call one person for help, who would it be? their twin

What is their favorite proverb? Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing.

What is their greatest extravagance? her designs

What is their greatest regret? not leaving sooner

What is their perception of redemption? obtainable

What would they do if they won the lottery? buy her siblings three huge houses right next to each other and start her clothing line

What is their favorite fairytale? cinderella

What fairytale do they hate? ariel

Do they believe in happy endings? unsure

What is their idea of perfect happiness? being with the few people she loves

What would they ask a fortune teller? if she’s doing the right thing

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? to the future to see what it looks like

What sport do they excel at? cheer/gymnastics

What sport do they suck at? running

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? flying

#trident;task #trident task 5

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acaseforpencils · 6 years

Text

Sam Gross.

A couple of years ago, I was eating lunch with Sam and a bunch of the usual Pergola crowd, and we were talking about interviews. I hadn’t started A Case for Pencils at that time, but I had been thinking about how to go about it. Sam told me that the thing about interviews is that they are basically finished before they start, because the interviewer already knows how they are going to portray you, even before they talk to you. With that in mind, when I finally got around to creating this blog, I decided to go with a survey format. I wanted to do right by cartoonists, and allow them to be the funny, kind, and articulate people that they are, without my bungling things up! Ironically, this interview was done over the phone, so I hope I did right by Sam!

I recommend listening to the below audio clip of our phone call, wherein Sam talks about the difference between drawing funny and funny drawing, before you read this interview, because he is an inimitable storyteller, and I want you to be able to read it in his voice. —Jane Mattimoe

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From L to R: Sam Gross, Jane Mattimoe (me/A Case for Pencils), Mort Gerberg, Sidney Harris. The original photo (on the photographed ipad) was taken by Sam’s daughter, Michelle, at Pergola des Artistes in 2016.

Sam: I always wanted to be a cartoonist, and at age six I drew what was possibly a cartoon, on my desk. My first grade teacher was Mrs Levy, and I guess she was my first editor, because she had my mother come in with Kirkman industrial soap, and we had to erase my cartoon from the desk. So, I knew what I wanted to do at a very early age.

Jane: You're lucky.

Sam: Yes, I am. I am very lucky. My wife was a vocational guidance counselor —she's retired now. She didn't have to do too much with me.

Jane: I read somewhere that you started cartooning in 1962. Was it actually earlier than that?

Sam: I was drawing before that, and I had one cartoon that was published in Saturday Review in 1953 when I was still in college. I was doing stuff for the school newspaper— actually very little because Morty Gerberg had a lot on that, and I finally got two weeks in when he was off on something or the other... Morty and I went to the same school, CCNY Baruch... I would say professionally, it was a little bit earlier [than 1962]. I was drawing and getting published in Europe, in France and in Germany, prior to that. We were there in ‘60-61. I began in earnest back here in 1962. That's when I started earning an income on it.

Actually, the first year I earned $985 in change, and my big client was actually— and I wasn't doing any drawing... I was coming up ideas— but a greeting card company in Brooklyn called Charmcraft. So, then of course, after the first year I did better.

Jane: You were in the military, right? I know George [Booth] got his start in Leatherneck. Did you do anything like that?

Sam: Oh yeah, as a matter of fact, in the military I was doing cartoons for the HAC Post—Headquarters Area Command — which, I was stationed in Heidelberg, but the newspaper was in Mannheim... and from that I did a book, Cartoons for the GI, which sold very, very well. I was getting statements every month, and I was making more than my Commanding Officer, which pissed him off tremendously. Yeah, I forgot about that book.

Jane: I remember you told me that someone in the military told you that you'd never be able to get a job.

Sam: Yeah, that was my Commanding Officer. He didn't recommend me for the Good Conduct Medal. He said to me— I was leaving the army by that time—and he said, “Nobody's ever going to hire you. You'll never have a job.” And he was right.

Actually, I did work in a legitimate job for six months... and I also...I guess I got a legitimate paycheck at work, you know, like I would have to file a W2 for... When I was first with that job, which actually was as an accountant, and then the other one was—which you can’t call full employed— which was when I was teaching at Pratt three semesters. I would get a paycheck there, but other than that, it’s been freelancing.

Jane: Wow! So let's see, you’ve been published everywhere of note, written a lot of books, and you were also the cartoon editor of The National Lampoon...

Sam: I was, yeah.

Jane: Did your time as a cartoon editor affect your process as a cartoonist? I mean, did it change how you viewed cartooning?

Sam: No. When you’re a cartoon editor, the only way it affects it is the audience and the direction the magazine is going. I also was cartoon editor at Smoke magazine, and for a very brief time, Parents magazine. Now I’m not gonna go to Parents magazine and try to get a National Lampoon cartoon in there. The only way it’s affected me is by basically the market of the magazine—not the quality of drawing or the writing—but basically I had in mind the readership of these particular magazines.

My well-worn copy of one of Sam’s classic cartoon collections.

Jane: What tools do you use to make your cartoons?

Sam: I use two old Rapidograph pens, a two and a half and a one. They’re color coded— blue and brown. I actually don't think it’s very important what your tools are as long as you’re doing this thing. I know a number of young cartoonists think that there’s something magical in a particular tool, whatever it is. You work with what you’re comfortable in.

On one occasion, and this was at Saturday Evening Post, a young kid wanted the secret for how to do this thing. He thought the secret was embedded in your tools, so he asked around, “What paper do you use? What pens do you use?” So he asked this guy, John Elcik, who was a cartoonist at the AP, Associated Press, and he asked him, “What kind of ink do you use?” And John answered with a very straight face, “Higgens Gag Ink,” and nobody corrected him because this kid was a real noodge. So it’s a running gag now, with “Higgens Gag Ink,” because it’s so ridiculous to get involved in the tools of this thing. You do what works. And you let go what doesn’t work. Brian Savage, who was living across the street from me on 3rd avenue was drawing with brush and lamp black, and he said “Oh you have to try it!” I tried it, and I was miserable. After a day and a half I figured, this ain’t for me. There are people who instead of working with a pen, they work with a brush. I can’t work with a brush.

I’m working with these busted Rapidographs because they are drafting pens, basically. I’ve learned how to put pressure... alleviate pressure...so I can vary the line with this thing. What I have done since Rapidograph has discontinued this line of pens, and they now have cartridge pens, is... there’s this guy in Pennsylvania... Connecticut rather, who deals in antique pens, and I got enough points and enough pens... cartridges that hold the points... I guess to last me for the rest of my life. I did it just in case they decided to change the pens, which they did.

Jane: I’ve talked to so many cartoonists who are mourning the loss of this Rapidograph pen, Like Marisa [Acocella] goes on Ebay to search for them.

Sam: I’m going to see Marisa tomorrow, and I’ll let her know about this guy.

Sam: I was in Paris, and I wasn’t taking my Rapidographs, because I don’t know where and how I have to clean these things, so I went into this art supply store, and they had a sale on Staedtler pens, and I asked the lady there—because France, and pretty much Europe, is not known for fantastic sales on art supplies— so I asked, “Why is Staedtler being so good to me?” and she said, of course, “Because they’re discontinuing these pens.” I use these pens...they’re waterproof, and they’ve got various points. They’re not as comfortable, but basically if I’m in Europe, I’m not doing any finishes, so I can use them for sketches. If I sell something over there, and they want something immediately finished, I would have to sit down and do it with a Staedtler pen.

Art supplies are diminishing because of the computer. Pretty much every art supplies store in New York is gone. There are plenty of places with art supplies departments, like Staples. The place I go now, on Madison Avenue, it used to be an art supplies and stationary store, and the guy moved over to Lexington Avenue, and he basically had the same thing...and also a printing business...he’s sort of limping along, and I make sure I go in and buy stuff there just to keep him in business, for godsakes!

Jane: You know, running this blog has really driven home that, like you said earlier, there isn’t a magic tool. I’ve interviewed dozens and dozens of people, and everyone has different tools that they prefer. So I agree, it’s just whatever you’re comfortable with...

Sam: You know, I’m not very good with color...Doctor Seuss was not very good with color...among other people— same with Shel Silverstein— they had it added mechanically, and you can see that in the Dr. Seuss books and The Giving Tree. Occasionally, I have to conquer my disabilities— because I'm doing greeting cards or whatever —to work with color. So with that, I guess I use the cheapest watercolors for working this stuff. I also know my limitations on this stuff... and my brushes are for wash and half tones... probably kinda beat up, but they do the job.

Jane: You take a while to do each cartoon, right? You do a lot of cartoons per week, and your cartoons look deceptively simple, but I know you really think about where each line goes. I remember that you gave me some of the best advice I've ever gotten for cartooning, which was was that you told me to draw funny, and I think what you meant was to make sure every line help propel the joke, rather than wasting space with superfluous details. Did I interpret that right?

Sam: Well, there's a difference between drawing funny and funny drawing. Usually a lot of people who can draw very well— really good artists— when they go into cartooning they’re doing funny drawing rather than drawing funny. Because they—I don’t know—in other words they exaggerate the nose...which possibly is not pertinent to this particular cartoon. They’re making funny drawing. Drawing funny is...George Booth draws funny, Bill Woodman draws funny… people say that I draw funny. I guess I do, in a way, but not as funny as their drawing. Sergio Aragonés draws funny... and I take— sometimes, which I'm doing now— I take two three weeks to do a drawing...just looking at it, and deciding… I don't consider myself a great artist, or even that much of a good artist, but what I consider myself is a really good gag man, a really good person that can tell a joke, that's what I do. You know, I'm weak in perspective, I can't draw a horse to save myself...but a lot of other people can't also— I’m in good company with horses, or lack of ability to draw horses. But I can tell a joke... and it takes a lot of work to do that.

Jane: Some people say either you’re funny or you’re not, but do you think people can improve their ability to tell a good joke?

Sam: Yeah I could see it over the years. Stuff that I did In 1969, when I began with The New Yorker, and getting in jokes...and drawing... to now, you know if I just go back in my files to 1969, I guess the initial reaction would be to hold my head and go, “Oh my God!”, but I've developed from there, and I realize that's where I was in 1969. And there are people, without my saying any names, that have been drawing the same way for 20-30 years, and to me it's amazing that they can do whatever they did 20 years ago, not that I would want that. You know, I’m very happy that I’ve advanced to the point where my drawings are totally different than I did in 1969, and before that between ‘63 and ‘69... and actually, up until ‘73 or so, when I was doing a lot of gags... writing for Charles Addams...he worked with gag men. I realized—George Price was actually walking around with my wife at a gallery of his stuff, and he was showing [her] various drawings there. And at that particular time, I was somewhat appalled that my idols were using gag men— one of them of course being Charles Addams—and [Price] turned to my wife and said, “you know, I’m not really involved with gags—I’m involved with furniture,” and it really gelled, and then I realized with Charles Addams, he was involved with mood and architecture, and some of these other guys that were buying gags, they weren’t very involved in germinating the idea, but once they had the idea, they could then work with it, and then come out with something really, really good. So some cartoonists are just different. You know there’s one cartoonist that can draw anything, but for the most part he uses set gags

Jane: So I was looking at your Wikipedia, and it says in 2012 you had a total of 27,592 cartoons. What’s the tally now?

Sam: 31,577.

Jane: Wow!

Sam: Well what I do is I throw out a lot of gags. I’ve probably thrown out over 5000 gags. You throw out gags cause they’re obsolete. Let’s say the gag —the idea— involves a rotary telephone, which there aren’t any rotary telephones anymore! Or a phone booth, of which there are very few. I think there were two left in New York City on West End Avenue. There was an article in The Times on that. So you throw this stuff out, you throw out stuff that’s obsolete. Including, let’s say five years from now, if I had a gag on Trump, or if I had a gag on McCain… you throw out a gag or idea if it’s lousy, “Oh my god, what was I thinking about?!” Out of 31,500 gags or so, I have duplicates, “Oh my God I did that one, there it is again,” so I throw that out. This keeps me sharp, otherwise I would probably need a larger studio… Yeah, 5000 gags takes up a lot of space.

Jane: Wait so you throw away cartoons? Actual physical drawings that you’ve done?

Sam: Yeah! And there are other drawings, by the way, in my books...and I look at this thing, and it’s my gag, it’s my idea, and I don’t get it. I don’t know where my head was when this thing was germinating in my mind. I have no idea, and I look at this thing and go “huh?!” I just get rid of it.

Jane: So you’re not like Mort who has a storage facility with thousands of cartoons…

Sam: No, no—I’m not gonna have a storage facility. I have a studio down the block from where I am. And actually, since I own it, and I’m paying maintenance on it, I’m probably not paying much more than he’s paying on his storage facility, wherever the heck that is.

Jane: I used to store my cartoons in a stack under my bed in my old apartment, and the mice let me know what they thought of my work by sh-tting all over it.

Sam: That’s another thing by the way, with piles—there’s one cartoonist I know, his system, as far as cartoons are concerned, one pile is horizontals, the other pile is verticals. That’s his system. And what I tell some of these young people at The New Yorker, which you’re aware of, because you were one of them, is to control the volume of this. And one way is to number them on the back, and then every one of them is an inventory number. Otherwise, when stuff goes out to Whoopie magazine or something, you know that you’ve sent this stuff out. Now you push scan and send it out, but you sent out 2831, 3743, with 16000… and you know which cartoons were sent out without having to describe them.

Now what I don’t do, which people think I should do, and I’m possibly gonna have to, is scan these things and put them on a disc or whatever. I really don’t want to do that now, because I don’t want to get into the nitty gritty, and of course I’m gonna have to hire somebody. I’d rather just sit down, draw, and create. And I’ve got this system well enough that if you need something—let’s say it’s a men’s magazine—I go to my “Men’s Magazine” folder, and I pull something out. If you need something for natural history—let’s say turtles — I can pull out something on turtles. As a matter of fact, I had a request a while back for dental cartoons, and I thought I never had that many, and I went into “medical,” and I had enough there to open a full file on dental.

I keep it loose, but not very loose. There is a control. I can go into something, and pull it out,or get it... at worst I think it can take twenty minutes. But there’s a method to this madness.

Jane: So this blog is supposed to be an educational resource for aspiring cartoonists and artists, and I was wondering if you had any advice that you wish you’d been told when you were first starting out, or that you think they should know...

Sam: Yeah, which is something you probably have experienced. There’s no love in this. I tell people, especially these young kids up at The New Yorker... sooner or later, The New Yorker is going to break your heart if you’re going to put all of your effort there. There’s no love there— I don’t love The New Yorker, and The New Yorker doesn’t love me. I’ve had, on many, many occasions... what usually has happened,or actually, what has happened, is that the market that I’m dealing with changes editors, and all of a sudden I’m out, and somebody else is in. I had this happen at Harvard Business Review, and the art director was a guy named John O’Connor, and I was selling to him for... I guess seventeen years, and the magazine was faculty run, which meant that it was run by crazies, because there were faculty wars involved, and those people were thrown in, people were thrown out, and people were in limbo, and John was able to survive for seventeen years, until he finally he became a casualty of the faculty wars there, and somebody else took over, and then I was selling sporadically, rather than the way I was selling before. Then later, I got a letter in the mail, hard copy, and they were informing me that they were buying all rights now. So I wrote them a letter back, or posted it by email, I don’t remember, “Please be advised that all the cartoons that you bought prior to this are my property. And if you get any reprint requests, please forward them to me.”

That’s the other thing by the way. And that’s rights. If you own the stuff, it’ll work for you. And I’m not saying every one of them will, but we call these cartoons that grow us money, we call them evergreens. The champion evergreen for me is the frog legs cartoons. I don’t have to say anything more. Everyone knows that one. The other one is the snail cartoon. “I know she’s a tape dispenser, but I love her.” The reason that these cartoons are paying me money— the frog legs cartoon is 47 years old, much older than you— the reason that these cartoons are generating money is because I own them.

I had a friend of mine who was selling to Mad magazine, and he got very involved, and he was selling there for years and years and years… and one day he walked in there, and they told him he was too derivative, whatever the hell that means, and that they were no longer buying from him.

Jane: That’s terrible!

Sam: Well, this happens. He was lamenting to me, “Thirty-five years! Thirty-five years, and I’ve got nothing.” You gotta be very careful with where you’re selling. I was stuffing an envelope in 1977 for Playboy, and all of a sudden this light bulb went off, and I said, “Hey wait a minute! They’re paying three hundred and fifty dollars, but buying all rights,” and I said, “I can’t make any money on them. I’m gonna get the three hundred and fifty dollars, and that’s it.”

If I had sold all rights on that frog legs cartoon, which came out in December 1970, they bought it for one hundred dollars, and that’s what I would have made on it. One hundred dollars—that’s it. Now, this thing has made thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars. I had a lithograph, which I think I made fifteen thousand on—just on the lithograph.

That’s the other thing— all my cartoons are inventoried and posted in an index, and when a cartoon makes money, for whatever reason, I post it, to the nearest dollar, how much money this cartoon has made. And for the frogs leg cartoon, and the tape dispenser cartoon, I had to add a page with all the action that went on with it.

It’s very very important for you to retain your rights, cause otherwise you’re not gonna last. There are just so many variables going. I just sold the frog legs cartoon to a movie company, and they just came out with a movie about The National Lampoon on Netflix. It’s a prop. I think it’s hanging on a wall that somebody walks by. And I billed them $150 for it.

Sam: Hello?

Jane: Oh, sorry, I was just listening!

Sam: So again, rights are very important. Ownership is very important. If you feel like, “Well, I’ll do it just once or twice,..I need the money... I’m desperate,” they feed on you. Basically, their attitude towards you is that you’re the shmuckartist—that’s one word-—shmuckartist, and they take advantage of you. Usually, I just had it recently again, when this woman said to me— and I won’t say what the market was—“We only have the best interest at heart.” When somebody tells you that, they’re trying to screw you. The same thing when they begin the conversation with “You gotta understand,” that’s another rotten deal they want you to go into, okay? I did this cartoon, actually it almost happened to me that way, where you walk into an office, and there’s this guy behind the desk, and every chair in the office is occupied, so you can’t sit down, so you’re standing in front, and there are guys there ( and in this particular case it was all guys)… and I got a cartoon out of it that was in The New Yorker. Basically, you’re supposed to stand at the desk and pull on your forelock and hunch over. I did this gag, with this big corner office,with the big desk, and there’s four- five guys sitting in chairs, and the guy behind the desk… and this poor shlump is standing in front of the desk, and the guy behind the desk is saying, “Work with us, we’re trying to screw you!” I got a gag out of it, finally after these many years, because this happened when I was selling to girly magazines, back in the ‘60s, and sometimes something germinates after 50 years.

Jane: So you’re saying if someone has to tell you that they’re being nice to you, they probably aren’t?

Sam: Well, probably not. Look at it this way, this is a person at Condé Nast— not at the magazine, but dealing with another department —my feeling is, if she’s telling me, “We only have the best interest at heart,” this is not true, because being employed by Condé Nast, she’s gotta have Condé Nast’s interest at heart ahead of mine, because if she doesn’t, she’s gonna get fired. So of course, it’s bullshit.

Jane: I remember you would tell me and other cartoonists to be like a street rat. Could you explain that a little?

Sam: Yeah, well, you should figure out where else you’re gonna survive with this thing. For instance, I guess this was the 1980’s, when William Shawn was under tremendous pressure to resign, which it took a while... For some reason, he didn’t take a shine to me, and I couldn’t sell him for a period of 14 months, but I was up there every week, running cartoons through, and then selling to Good Housekeeping, Cosmopolitan, National Lampoon... Basically, I was running this stuff through The New Yorker, and knowing, knowing, that this thing is not going anywhere at The New Yorker. However, I have this stuff, I’m setting it up through The New Yorker… having this stuff now salable for other magazines. It looks pretty good— “Hey let’s go to Cosmo. Let’s go to… I guess at that time, True magazine.” So yeah, you gotta be a street rat. People come up to The New Yorker— “What are you gonna do with this next?” and they go, “I dunno!” Well if you don’t know, you’re not gonna survive.

Jane: Can I tell you a story about the first time I went into The New Yorker?

Sam: Sure!

Jane: It was when they were still at 4 Times Square, and I was scared to death, but I remember specifically that you were extremely welcoming, and made me feel like it was okay that I was there...and you invited me to Pergola [des Artistes] with all of the other guys, and you even drew a map for how to get there, which I later hung up on my wall... I just wanted to say, thank you for making me feel like it was alright for me to be there.

Sam: Of course it was alright for you to be there!

Jane: A lot of times as a young woman, especially in comedy, you don’t get welcomed at all, so it really meant a lot—from you, especially.

Sam: It’s such a tough business, that to be a hard-on in this business is disgusting, for want of a worse word. You try to make it easier for anybody and everybody, because I didn’t know what your work was like—you were there, which was important to you.

Jane: Yeah, and you were just nice regardless, and that says a lot about you as a person.

Sam: Well, thank you. I went through my first first showing, it was at Saturday Evening Post, and I still remember Henry Boltinoff, a cartoonist there, had a sign-in list, so you signed in, and I was behind George Wolfe, and I sat down, and I was so scared. I didn’t ask “Who is George Wolfe?” I just sat there, and Henry Boltinoff walked up to me and said, “Hi I’m Henry Boltinoff,” and I said, “Hi I’m Sam Gross,” and he said, “You’re after that elderly gentleman there—ugly old gentleman there” (they were good friends), “that’s George Wolfe.” So you know, after that, I showed up again—street rat—I showed up every week. I never was a really big seller at Saturday Evening Post. And I got in my studio… I think it was Sidney Harris, no it wasn’t Sidney, it was Art Pottier…. he had taken two signup lists, he kept them, and he sent me two photocopies. Very interesting who was on there, including a couple New Yorker cartoonists. One of them was Alan Dunn, which was a big surprise, because he was a big star at the New Yorker. He at one point had sold more cartoons than anybody else, like 1200 cartoons. But, you know, there’s never a reason for being a putz.

The map Sam drew for me, in case the other cartoonists left for lunch while I was showing my cartoons.

Jane: Is there anything else you wanna say to aspiring cartoonists?

Sam: Again, I guess one thing is the business is changing. The whole publishing business is changing. You’re going up to publishers now, like The New Yorker, and there’s a desert of cubicles. There’s new technology going— for instance, now, I’m involved with cartoon festivals… in the old days, being two weeks ago [laughs] no, more than that... you would have had to send in an original. You would have to pack it, you would have to insure it, you’d have to worry about it coming back. Now you scan and send, and you don’t have to worry about any of this stuff, and this stuff is hangable, and people wanna buy it—they can buy the original. If people wanna buy prints, which is what I prefer, they’ll buy prints...and even submitting to magazines now, The New Yorker, which I”ll do tomorrow, is scan and send. I basically don’t have to go in. Usually I do go in, because one, it breaks up the week... and I have lunch with cohorts. It’s changing, and what it’s changing into I don’t know, but I am aware of it. Listen, there are very few magazines that I’m dealing with now. A lot of people I’m dealing with, in a way, are kinda desperate with what’s going on. It’s going on for them also— it’s going on for us and it’s going on for them, these monumental changes. My only advice on this is to be aware of it. I can’t give you advice for how to act upon it. I guess that’s it!

If you enjoy this blog, consider donating to the Patreon! And if you would like more art supplies in your life, you can follow Case on Twitter and Instagram!

#sam gross #how to draw cartoons #how to draw new yorker cartoons #new yorker cartoonist #jane mattimoe #artist interview #art supplies drawing process how to write comedy

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gmmp-member · 3 years

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SHOULD SMART PEOPLE BUY SMART GADGETS?

Smart gadgets have taken the world by storm. However the million dollar question is should smart people get the said smart gadgets?. Let's simply delve in and find out.

I think the first point which we should establish is that everyone is smart. There isn't a single person on earth who is not well versed in anything. We call him smart in that thing. So!, say you like cars and understand them then you are car smart. But then you can say, author!, with such horrible articles I don't think you are smart in anything at all. In that case I will tell you that I totally disagree with you. I am smart in not being smart. You are also smart in realising that I am not that smart.

We should begin with the tech smart people. The people who will shell $500 more dollars in order to get a processor with 0.3Hz more speed. Those who will prattle about how the BIOS in that laptop is bad and how to undervolt the processors of their smartphones for better battery life. For those kind of people my advise is they should go for it. I mean they are literally burning to get their hands on those things and if they don't they will definitely explode. So let them get the Asus ROG phone and RGB away. Let them have the ability to be a tech king and with just a word make things happen in their house.

Then there are the money smart. The ones who belong to the club of stingy people. For these people I think getting smart gadgets is kind of useless. Not that they are not clever enough to use them since these things are simple to use, but is the tradeoff worth it. The said tradeoff being money vs utility. At the end of the day a gadget is a utility. By making it smart what exactly am I getting in return?. Take the smart light bulbs. I can control them from my smartphone, change the colour and even dim them. However I need to shell upwards of $30 for them whilst in contrast my local hardware can supply me with a $2 one. If I want a dimmable one, I just shell $4 more and get a bed lamp then face it towards the wall which will allow me to control the lighting depending on how far from the wall it is (clever huh!). If I want unique colours I will just turn the bed lamp upwards and put a semi transparent colored tumbler on top of it. Just a dollar for a full set with all the colours you can think of. That's $7 for everything vs the $30+.

The other thing is the smart version of gadgets cost triple the price of the normal gadgets and at times ten times more. The smart floor vacuum like the Roomba can do the job whilst I chill but it's expensive. The job which it does can be done by a dumb vacuum cleaner with me smarting it up in less than an hour. So is the tradeoff worth it?. What about the smart lawn mower?. Sure it can map my home and do the job whilst I sleep on a hammock and write angry blog posts. However guys!, the money I have to pay for that is way more. Not to mention that the more buttons something has, the more likely it is to break.

Then we have to address the smartness of the gadgets. A smart gadget most usually has a chip and the ability to connect to the internet. There is also a database created by the manufacturer so that the gadget can do smart things. At this moment, I think the privacy smart should jump in. Just think about the data which can be collected about you if the CIA or FBI wants to. Your air tag and smartphone will provide the exact movements which you made for God knows how long. Your smartwatch will provide your steps, speed, heartbeat and more for any given time. So you can find yourself in court being charged for murder and unlucky you, at the time the person died your heart beat spiked and all was recorded by your fitbit. If you have a smart camera we can know what you do when alone. Your lawn mower and vacuum will enable us to deduce the exact dimensions of rooms of your rooms and yard and even the assets you own. This is just the crust and I guess if we venture into the juicy bits you will be forced to become a caveman.

Besides the said problems, at times some smart awarding features of gadgets are simply implemented on the wrong platforms. Take the Samsung fridge with a big screen which can connect to the internet. Sure!, it's a conversation starter but how much will you benefit from it?. I mean you have a desktop, laptop, smartphone and a tablet all of which can connect to the internet. The fridge is for cooling things and you will be better off buying a normal fridge and tablet separately. That way you will save 60% of your money. Then there are speakers which levitate. As before its a conversation starter. However you will still get the same trashy sound which lack bass all because you thought you were clever enough to get a levitating one. Sure there are many gadgets which add to the utility of the said gadgets like the Amazon smart speakers but for the most part the implementation doesn't give any advantage to the user besides being cool.

These smart gadgets also sometimes simply add to the clutter around my house. Take a smart watch. Why do you buy the thing when you move with your smartphone anyway. Your smartphone is always in your pocket and you add a wrist band to check the phone in your pocket eh!. You have a full blown iPad with the pencil and yet you buy the e-ink tablet. Beats me why you have to do that. Some of these smart gadgets don't add anything meaningful to our lives and only manage to stress us.

If you want to get a smart gadget, imagine yourself with the missive after a year. Will you still want it then?. Dave2D always cautions people against buying a laptop simply because it has cool RGB. As he puts it, it's a toy which will simply bore you over time. So do you think the ability to cycle through 200 colours for your bulb will still be interesting after two months?. The fridge with the browsing capability, do you think you will still be browsing from it after a week?. It's all the things which we have to consider.

However if you insist on buying smart gadgets, I believe you should avoid flagship ones like the plague. If you go to Aliexpress and Gearbest, you can get these gadgets for way less with most not exceeding $10. Sure they have less quality finish and can break, however they can showcase whether you really need the gadget in your life. When you realise that you don't, then you will most definitely thank me.

If you really want to save money when purchasing your trusty gadgets, consider grabbing the book Attaining Financial Freedom by Edward Steward. Get it here:

#gadgets #smart gadgets #technology #buyonline #buying guides #smartpeople #nerds #money #budget #privacy

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atomicgalaxystranger · 3 years

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Best Printer for Cricut:

The DIY craft world is open to anyone who wants to get involved or has already been involved for some time. You need to do a lot of Cricut printing every day. A Cricut painting alone is not enough. If you want to take your work to the next level then it is very important to show innovation and creativity by making your own design for the best results, you should invest in the best printer for Cricut. You must choose one, but which one? It can be challenging to make the right decision in the market because there are so many options.

Not to worry while we are here, because CopyAway has rounded up our top five picks for the best Cricut printer

2021's Best Printer for Cricut:

Name:

Editors Rating :

Epson Wireless Printer For Cricut Print And Cut with Copy, Scan, Fax

5/5

Canon Pixma Wireless Printer For Cricut Print And Cut with AirPrint

5/5

HP ENVY Wireless All-in-One Printer For Cricut Print And Cut

4.5/5

Epson WorkForce Wireless Printer For Cricut Print And Cut

5/5

Canon Wireless Printer For Cricut Print And Cut with Mobile Printing

5/5

Reviews Regarding Best Printer for Cricut Maker 2021:

Choosing a printer from the numerous options available in the market can be a difficult task. That's why we bring you our top 5 picks for the best printers for Cricut print and cut going best in 2021.

1. Epson Wireless Best Printer For Cricut Print And Cut with Copy, Scan, Fax

It is a sleek-looking black inkjet printer, which we believe is the best Cricut printer for print and cut users.

This printer will appeal to economic thinkers. Other color laser printers use up to 80% more energy than this one.

Its wireless capabilities are one of the device's biggest selling points. Your work does not have to be solely performed on a computer.

With this printer, you can print anything you want from anywhere using your iPhone, iPad, smartphone, or tablet.

You can create prints of up to 13" x 19" with this inkjet printer, thanks to the PrecisionCore technology.

A high-density print chip capable of printing a minimum of 40 Million dots/second is also added to this device

The program is very accurate, resulting in a tidy appearance.

This product comes with four DURABrite Ultra ink cartridges. The colors are magenta, cyan, black, and yellow.

Your workstation will also be equipped with a rear feed, so you'll be able to work more efficiently.

Highlights about 1st pick for Best Printer for Cricut:

Faster and better images with PrecisionCore

Prints 40 million dots every second with high-density print chip and amazingly precise ink placement

Automatic two-sided scanning, copying, printing, and faxing

Navigation and control made easy with the 3" color touchscreen

A borderless print can be created as large as 13" x 19" with PrecisionCore technology

2. Canon Pixma Wireless Printer For Cricut Print And Cut with AirPrint:

The printer is one of the best inkjet printers due to its affordable price and specialized photo paper that produces high-quality prints.

There is a standard interface for WLAN which allows you to print and scan from anywhere you want around the house.

You might find a beautiful scene in the garden and want to print it right away.

It only takes a few seconds to command the printer from your mobile device. There you have it! The printed version is in your hands.

Your documents will no longer have to be created from scratch because you can download its solution templates. A Pixma iX6820 will enhance your work life in many ways.

When you need to use it, you won't have to waste time turning it on. It automatically turns on and begins printing each time you send a photo or document to print.

Furthermore, it works with the inks of five pigments-white, cyan,black,yellow and magenta. Individual ink tanks are provided for each of them.

You don't have to replace the entire bunch if you run out of a specific color.

Highlights about 2nd pick for Best Printer for Cricut Maker :

This printer offers a maximum color DPI of 9600 x 2400

The printer can print on papers ranging from 4" x 6" mailings to 11" x 17"

Easy photo organization and printing with 'My Image Garden' software

DOWNLOAD EXCLUSIVE CREATE LAND PROJECTS AND CONTENT

Connect to any connected device wirelessly to print and scan

3. HP ENVY Wireless All-in-One Best Printer For Cricut Print And Cut:

With the Envy 5055, HP continues its tradition of easy-to-use printers. HP smart app makes it easy

In just a few minutes, the printer can be set up, saving you valuable time. The cloud or social media can as well be used for printing, while your camera can be used to scan documents.

A great selection of paper sizes is supported by the HP Envy 5055, as it is similar to other inkjet printers.

The fact that this printer supports so many devices makes it a great choice for a Cricut Explore title.

However, you do receive higher quality prints at a very reasonable price. There is a reason for the slower delivery time.

If quality is more important to you than speed, this printer is for you. No matter what size the photo is, it can be printed borderless with no loss of quality.

A low-profile design has been implemented in the Envy 5055. You won't have to worry about it taking up much space on your desk.

Additionally, it operates quietly. Your printing needs will be met at no charge to you.

Highlights about 3rd Best Printer for Cricut Print :

Connect via Wi-Fi or Bluetooth

Automatically placing an order for HP Instant Ink when the printer runs low on cartridges

Paper sizes can be supported in a wide range for greater versatility

Automatically duplexes pages to save paper

Only 14 watts of power consumption

4. Epson WorkForce Wireless Best Printer For Cricut Print And Cut Wide-format:

One of the best wide-format color printers on the market is Epson WorkForce WF-7720. Without compromising on any of the promised quality, it is fast and efficient.

A wide-format printer can be the right investment for you if you intend to invest in one.

It's easy to access all of the printer's functions with the responsive color touchscreen. There is no problem even if you are not near a printer.

A wireless LAN feature is included in the printer, so you can print, scan, and fax from anywhere within the range.

PrecisionCore technology was installed in the printer by Epson. Smaller drops of ink are used in its print heads. This means that the image will have less imperfections and more detail.

In addition, the printer comes with a high-density print chip that creates up to 40 million dots with extreme precision.

In the end, the prints you get are of high quality and have fewer errors.

This is a very useful feature for large format printers. A double paper tray lets you store different-sized papers in different trays.

Moreover, this workstation comes with an automatic document feeder.

Highlights about 4th pick for Best Printer for Cricut:

Touchscreen display with intuitive controls for 4.3"

Several paper sizes are supported, from 4" x 6" to 13" x 19"

A better printing experience with Epson PrecisionCore

Duplex printing saves money and provides two sides of the page

Power consumption up to 80 percent lower than typical laser printers

5. Canon Wireless One of Best Printer For Cricut Mobile Printing:

With an overall performance that is above-average, but at a significant discount off its class price, this is the mid-sized best printer for Cricut.

Those who favor efficiency above all else will be pleased with the Pixma TR4520's excellent cost-performance ratio.

There are many benefits to its user-friendliness. Thanks to its wireless connectivity and Canon print app, you can easily set it up from your smartphone.

Printing is also done without your physical presence. Mobile devices, like smartphones and tablets, allow you to print directly from them. It is even possible to operate the printer without installing any drivers.

The exceptional print quality will amaze you. Nevertheless, the printing process is somewhat slow, so the cost is high.

Alexa is supported by the printer, so you can print hands-free. The slow process should be compensated for this.

Dash Replenishment is now available on this product from Canon. All ink reorders can be saved 10 percent when you take advantage of this feature.

Also, it automatically places an order when you run out of ink so that you don't have to worry.

Highlights about 5th pick for Best Printer for Cricut:

Apps for smartphones that enable printing from Canon

No driver needed with AirPrint built-in

Printing made easy with Mopria

Time and effort are saved with the built-in ADF

Enhances efficiency by automatically turning on and off the power

You may also Read:

Best 3d Printers under 300

Buying Guide For Best Printer For Cricut

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your-dietician · 3 years

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Best 4th of July weekend sales at Best Buy

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/health/best-4th-of-july-weekend-sales-at-best-buy/

Best 4th of July weekend sales at Best Buy

We may receive commission from purchases made via links on this page. Pricing and availability are subject to change.

Best Buy’s 4th of July weekend sale is going strong and the savings are so deep! (Photo: Getty Images)

Folks, it’s been quite a year (make that 16 months!), making this 4th of July feel like an “independence day” in more ways than one. How to celebrate? We have a lot of catching up to do. Surf, sand, pool, play — sure. But also shopping. This weekend brings some of the best deals of the season. Ready to upgrade and save big on the latest and greatest in tech? You’ve come to the right place.

The retailer’s massive 4th of July Sale is dropping deep discounts on just about everything — from 4K TVs and wireless headphones to smart-home gear and kitchen appliances. The savings are massive this weekend, so treat yourself and scoop up what you need (or just really, really want) before it sells out.

We’ve rounded up the top offerings at Best Buy’s big 4th of July Sale, with prices starting at just $10. Scroll and shop below:

Best TV sales

In case you need that summer vacation to the Rockies to be virtual, Sony’s latest and greatest is $250 off. (Photo: Best Buy)

On sale for $900 (down from $1,150), this Sony 65-inch Class X80J Series LED 4K Ultra HD Smart Google TV is the latest from this iconic manufacturer. Its massive 65-inch 4K display delivers images you can practically reach out and touch. Sony’s state-of-the-art Processor X1 powers this beauty for true-to-life visuals, while HDR (High Dynamic Range) settings make sure colors stay bright and black levels stay, well, black.

“This is an excellent product. We upgraded our TV to this Sony,” raved a five-star Best Buy reviewer. “The picture is great. Our last TV was a 65-inch, so side-by-side this TV is a definite upgrade. The sound system is great and the Smart TV process is very responsive to our wireless internet connection. The TV connected to my phone and the voice recognition was simple to set up….”

While some streaming TVs come with Fire TV or Roku built-in, this Sony 65-inch 4K stunner features Google TV. This means you’ll have instant access to popular streaming apps like Netflix, Disney+, HBO Max, Hulu, YouTube, Prime Video and more, but you’ll also get a wide range of gaming apps like NBA Jam, Fortnite and Crossy Road — you won’t get that with a standalone Fire TV or Roku device. Just sync a wireless gaming controller via Bluetooth and you’re all set to get your game on.

Story continues

Check out more TV sales below:

Insignia 43-inch Class F30 Series LED 4K Ultra HD Smart Fire TV, $280 (was $320), bestbuy.com

Insignia 50-inch Class F30 Series LED 4K Ultra HD Smart Fire TV, $350 (was $380), bestbuy.com

Sony 55-inch Class X80J Series LED 4K Ultra HD Smart Google TV, $750 (was $950), bestbuy.com

Hisense 60-inch Class A6G Series LED 4K Ultra HD Smart Android TV, $450 (was $490), bestbuy.com

LG 65-inch Class CX Series OLED 4K Ultra HD Smart webOS TV, $2000 (was $2,200), bestbuy.com

Samsung 65-inch Class QN85A Series Neo QLED 4K Ultra HD Smart Tizen TV, $2,000 (was $2,200), bestbuy.com

Hisense 70-inch Class A6G Series LED 4K UHD Smart Android TV, $670 (was $700), bestbuy.com

Samsung 70-inch Class 7 Series LED 4K Ultra HD Smart Tizen TV, $680 (was $750), bestbuy.com

Best home audio sales

These Samsung Galaxy Buds+ will outperform your Airpods, and for much less. How do you like them apples? (Photo: Best Buy)

It’s easy to get distracted by quirky design flourishes and exotic add-ons, but at the end of the day, earbud shoppers know it’s all about delivering excellent audio. That, and getting them at a great price. Well, get ready to check both boxes: These Samsung Galaxy Buds+ — on sale for $100, or $50 off, at Best Buy — offer crisp, clear sound and punchy bass. The battery life is amazing: You’ll get 11 hours per charge, plus an additional 11 hours with the included wireless charging case. That’s nearly a full day of use! In a pinch? An hour of playback requires just a three-minute quick boost. You’ll love this feature when you’re about to go for a run and your buds are at zero.

Calls sound crystal-clear thanks to three microphones that reduce ambient background noise even if you’re in a busy location. “Good sound quality and noise cancelation can silence a barking dog,” shared a Best Buy fan. Woof!

Check out more home audio sales below:

Insignia RF Wireless Over-the-Ear Headphones, $100 (was $120), bestbuy.com

Sony ZX Series Wired On-Ear Headphones, $10 (was $20), bestbuy.com

LG Tone Flex HBS-XL7 Wireless In-Ear Headphones, $130 (was $150), bestbuy.com

Sony WF-SP800N True Wireless Noise-Cancelling In-Ear Headphones, $98 (was $200), bestbuy.com

Google Pixel Buds, $130 (was $180), bestbuy.com

JBL Club One Wireless Noise Cancelling Over-the-Ear Headphones, $250 (was $350), bestbuy.com

Samsung HW-Q65T 7.1ch Sound bar, $400 (was $500), bestbuy.com

LG 5.1 ch High-Res Audio Sound Bar, $400 (was $450), bestbuy.com

Best tablet and smartphone sales

We haven’t seen a tablet presentation this impressive since Moses came down from the mountain. (Photo: Best Buy)

Been hankering to expand your computer arsenal with a tablet without going into hock? Here’s the deal you’ve been waiting for. On sale for $180 (was $230), the Samsung Galaxy Tab A7 weighs just over a pound and features 32GB of storage (expandable up to 1TB via microSD card). That’s got it all over Apple’s entry level tablet, which isn’t expandable. And unlike the iPad, the Tab A7’s 10.4-inch display has a full HD widescreen for immersive viewing.

Also out-Apple-ing Apple? The A7’s camera set is better than the one that comes with the iPad. It has an eight-megapixel selfie cam with a five-megapixel rear shooter on the front for video calls. “Mostly use for mobile gaming. Tried to play PS4 remote play, and it worked,” reported a satisfied gamer. “Sound is great and build quality is better than iPad. Speed is seamless.”

Score the Samsung Galaxy Tab A7 in gray and gold.

Check out more tablet and smartphone sales below:

OnePlus 8T 5G, $500 (was $600), bestbuy.com

Google Pixel 4a, $300 (was $350), bestbuy.com

Motorola Moto G Power, $130 (was $250), bestbuy.com

Samsung Galaxy Tab A, $120 (was $150), bestbuy.com

Surface Pro X, $800 (was $1,000), bestbuy.com

Lenovo Tab M10 Plus, $160 (was $200), bestbuy.com

Motorola Moto G Power, $70 (was $200), bestbuy.com

Microsoft Surface Duo, $700 (was $1,500), bestbuy.com

Best gaming sales

Grab a controller and make these your Dogs days of summer. (Photo: Best Buy)

Just because it’s fun-in-the-sun season doesn’t mean you won’t need to keep yourself flush with new gaming challenges. We’ve found a great one. Watch Dogs: Legion for Xbox One (also compatible with Xbox Series X) is now on sale for nearly 70 percent off — down from $60 to just $20. This action/adventure game and third installment in the franchise from Ubisoft takes place in a near future where London is on the verge of collapse. All-seeing surveillance state and private military are in control, while the fate of the city is in the hands of DedSec, a hacker group that wants to fight back for freedom. It’s as fun as it sounds, and an absolute steal at this price.

“This game is very fun to play,” raved a happy gamer. “The setting is amazing and the attention to detail makes it better…. I bought this for my grandson and he absolutely loved the story so much, he accidentally stayed up all night long playing the game. He said the storyline is very interesting and fun to complete. He also says he likes the fact that you get to choose strangers off the streets to work on your team. He has always loved technology so he absolutely loves this game and this view of what the future might be like.”

Check out more gaming sales below:

NBA 2K21 (PS4), $20 (was $30), bestbuy.com

SanDisk 400GB microSDXC UHS-I Memory Card for Nintendo Switch, $100 (was $180), bestbuy.com

Borderlands 3 (Xbox One), $10 (was $30), bestbuy.com

Dying Light: Anniversary Edition, $25 (was $40), bestbuy.com

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle (Nintendo Switch), $20 (was $60), bestbuy.com

Assassin’s Creed: The Rebel Collection, $20 (was $40), bestbuy.com

Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege Deluxe Edition (Xbox Series X), $15 (was $40), bestbuy.com

Assassin’s Creed Valhalla (Xbox One), $30 (was $60), bestbuy.com

Best smart home sales

It’s time for an alarm clock that’ll have you starting the day plugged in, wised up and entertained. (Photo: Best Buy)

It’s 2021 — shouldn’t you be asking a bit more from your alarm clock? Elevate the mundane with the Lenovo Smart Clock. It’s powered with Google Assistant for seamless syncing to a smartphone. It can rouse you with your favorite tunes, the weather, calendar reminders and that podcast you love.

“Replaced my old alarm clock and a Google mini speaker with one device,” shared a savvy Best Buy shopper. “…I tell it good night when I am ready for bed and it turns off my lights, tells me the weather tomorrow and what is on my calendar the next day just like a Google Mini can do. Plus the clock face can show the current temperature along with the time.”

Really, who couldn’t use all the help they can get rousing themselves from bed in the morning? So why not let the Lenovo Smart Clock do it in digital style, and for just $40 (down from $80) at Best Buy?

Check out more smart home sales below:

Google Nest Wi-Fi Mesh Router (AC2200) (two-pack), $189 (was $269), bestbuy.com

Google Nest Hello Smart Wi-Fi Video Doorbell, $150 (was $230), bestbuy.com

Arlo Pro 4 Spotlight Camera Security (three-pack), $500 (was $600), bestbuy.com

Google Nest Learning Smart Wi-Fi Thermostat, $200 (was $250), bestbuy.com

TP-Link Kasa Spot Cam, $40 (was $60), bestbuy.com

Ring Video Doorbell 3 Plus, $170 (was $200), bestbuy.com

Google Nest Mini Smart Speaker, $35 (was $50), bestbuy.com

Linksys Max-Stream AC1300 Dual-Band Mesh Wi-Fi 5 Router, $70 (was $100), bestbuy.com

Best vacuum sales

Trust us, this Dyson is a beast — save $100! (Photo: Best Buy)

The Dyson Outsize Total Clean Vacuum, which is on sale for $750, or $100 off at Best Buy, may not look like a power force, but this lightweight and cordless stick vacuum is actually a heavy-duty, deep-cleaning beast. It’s a Dyson, after all, so it’s built for powerful suction — but this one is also nimble and versatile enough to navigate the tightest corners. It even has a digital display that features a countdown clock, so you’ll always know when it’s going to run out of juice.

“The hands-down best cordless on the planet,” raved a delighted shopper. “I must say this vacuum is impressive and nothing short of amazing! This Dyson oozes sophistication and innovation while checking all the right boxes for corded vacuum replacement. This vacuum is the gold standard…. Be prepared to be shocked and in awe of the power and efficiency of this cleaning powerhouse. The real-time performance and battery gauge are extremely welcomed to this wireless cleaning solution.”

Check out more robotic vacuum sales below:

iRobot Roomba i3 (3150) Wi-Fi Connected Robot Vacuum, $350 (was $400), bestbuy.com

bObsweep bObi Classic Robot Vacuum & Mop, $394 (was $750), bestbuy.com

iRobot Braava jet m6 Wi-Fi Connected Robot Mop, $400 (was $450), bestbuy.com

Shark AI Robot VacMop Pro RV2001WD, $350 (was $480), bestbuy.com

iRobot Roomba i3+ (3550) Wi-Fi Connected Robot Vacuum, $550 (was $600), bestbuy.com

Shark AI Robot Vacuum RV2001, $300 (was $450), bestbuy.com

iRobot Roomba s9+ (9550) Robot Vacuum & Braava jet m6 (6112) Robot Mop bundle, $1,349 (was $1,550), bestbuy.com

Best home office sales

It’s two computers in one! Tablet or laptop, as you please. (Photo: Best Buy)

On sale for $249 (was $299), the sleek, incredibly thin Lenovo Chromebook Duet is more than just a laptop. It has a brilliant 10.1-inch Full HD touchscreen display (at 1920 x 1200 resolution) that works as a tablet but also attaches to its included keyboard case via Bluetooth for when you want laptop functionality. And shoppers love its long 10-hour battery life too.

“The device is lightweight. The screen is sharp, colorful, and bright,” shared a satisfied Best Buy shopper. “The keyboard has a very good feel, and the adjustment to it was very quick for me. The tablet by itself is very light — a joy to hold and use for long periods…The battery life is insane…”

Chromebook runs the latest version of ChromeOS, so you know you’ll get speedy results. And unlike Windows 10 or macOS laptops, with long loading times and complicated app downloads, you just log in to your Gmail account via Google Chrome and you’re good to go.

Check out more home office sales below:

Samsung Galaxy 4K Chromebook, $799 (was $999), bestbuy.com

Vankyo Leisure 3W Wireless Mini Projector, $80 (was $120), bestbuy.com

Samsung Galaxy Book Pro 360, $1,350 (was $1,500), bestbuy.com

Microsoft Surface Laptop Go, $630 (was $700), bestbuy.com

Epson EcoTank ET-M3170 Wireless Monochrome All-in-One SuperTank Printer, $350 (was $500), bestbuy.com

Canon imageCLASS D570 Wireless Black-and-White All-In-One Laser Printer, $150 (was $230), bestbuy.com

Epson EcoTank ET-3710 Wireless All-In-One Inkjet Printer, $310 (was $380), bestbuy.com

WD Easystore 5TB External USB 3.0 Portable Hard Drive, $110 (was $180), bestbuy.com

Best kitchen sales

At just $60, this baby will pay for itself with all the greasy, yucky oil you won’t have to buy. (Photo: Best Buy)

Sure, it’s barbecue season, but you can never have enough home-cooking convenience, amirite? On sale for $60 (was $120), the Insignia Digital Air Fryer lets you fry, roast or bake your favorite foods at temperatures up to 400 degrees — whip up anything from chicken to veggies to breaded tilapia!

The large five-quart basket can hold up to five servings, so it’s great for having friends over for hangouts. Its timer features automatic shutoff, so you’ll never have to stress about burning your food or blowing up your electric bill. This air fryer also has a sleek stainless steel finish with an easy-to-navigate digital display, while its basket and pan are dishwasher-safe, so fewer dirty dishes to worry about. If you’ve ever deep-fried something in oil you know how messy your counter and walls can get, but not when using this baby!

“I absolutely love this item,” reported a savvy shopper. “In the beginning, I thought it would be difficult to use and that it would dry my food out. Surprisingly, it’s really easy to operate and it keeps the food flavored after it’s complete. I have several other recipes I want to try with my air fryer. I can’t wait!”

Check out more kitchen sales below:

Margaritaville Bahamas Countertop Blender and Frozen Concoction Maker, $160 (was $210), bestbuy.com

Ninja Foodi, $200 (was $230), bestbuy.com

Frigidaire Mini Fridge with built-in Freezer, $179 (was $265), bestbuy.com

KitchenAid Pro 5 Plus 5-Quart Bowl-Lift Stand Mixer, $430 (was $500), bestbuy.com

Keurig K-Elite Single-Serve K-Cup Pod Coffee Maker, $130 (was $170), bestbuy.com

Bella Pro Series Combo 19-Bar Espresso and 10-Cup Drip Coffee Maker, $150 (was $200), bestbuy.com

Yummly Smart Meat Thermometer, $89 (was $129), bestbuy.com

LG InstaView Four-Door French Door Refrigerator, $3,150 (was $3,500), bestbuy.com