#within the context of EVERYTHING that's happened to will and continues to happen to him and how unique it is to him in this narrative

[bylertruther]

do you ever think about how will probably wishes he was braver?

that he could tell mike the truth about himself without having to speak in code. that he could stick to his guns when he's been wronged and stand up for himself rather than tucking tail and turning the other cheek. that he could be less shy, less sensitive, less cowardly, and maybe then his loved ones wouldn't forget about him as often as they do.

maybe then they would pick him first, rather than leaving him for last. maybe then they would want to hang out with him and hear what he has to say. maybe then they would treat him like they used to, like he can still take care of himself just like they can, instead of like a fragile little thing that they pick up only when they need him. maybe then they would care about him as much as he cares about them. maybe then he wouldn't doubt that it could all come crashing down once they know who he really is, and always has been, because the rest of him would've been enough.

like, maybe he wishes he didn't freeze or run away so much. maybe he wishes he wasn't so afraid all the time, of every little thing. that he could be brave like mike, el, or his mom. i mean, el's been through so much, too. why can't he be more like her? why does he have to hide behind her? he hides behind her when the monsters come crawling back, and he hides behind her when he can't bring himself to say what he really means—even after getting on her case about it.

he spent so much time on that painting. he didn't let anyone see it—it was that special to him. why couldn't he own up to that? there's no monster in the van with him; it's just him and mike and this painting of the party, nothing inherently incriminating or romantic, and still—he can't help himself. he retreats back into the shadow, shrinks into himself, and tells lie after lie to the person that he never lies to, that he knows doesn't fucking deserve that, just because he's too scared.

of course he'd feel like a mistake sometimes. of course he'd hate who he is (if That script is to be believed), when he can't even talk to the one person that would understand without lying straight to his face, over and over again, like a fucking hypocrite. of course he'd feel so lost without the person that tells him it's okay to be this way and shows him that there is indeed strength in it. of course he'd hate who he is when he's encouraging someone to be true and speaking about their courage, all while being incapable of taking his own advice, and giving the credit for all of his love and efforts and emotions to someone else.

so many people died to bring him back, so many people died just because he didn't stay dead when maybe he should have, and for what? so that he can continue to hide rather than live his life? so that he can turn into a "worse" version of himself? so that he can live in fear? so that he can continue to ache for a past that he can never return to, while everyone else moves forward and berates him for not doing the same? time stopped in the upside down when will went missing, and he's been stuck there ever since, too. too much has happened for him to move on from. too much has changed—he's changed. he's too different now, in every way, and the older he gets the more clear it becomes.

of course he'd feel like a mistake. of course he'd hate who he is. he's the common denominator here: in his loneliness and in this war. the boy who came back to life when others didn't. the boy that got possessed and couldn't fight it. the boy that turned into a liar and a coward and must learn to live with it, even if it's at his own expense. the boy that can't let go of the past and whom the past won't let go of either, because even after everything, he's still connected to this great evil that won't let him go. they got it out of him, and yet the tether remains, because of-fucking-course it would.

just—why? why him? why can't anything ever go right with him? why is he always the outlier? i think that overwhelming amount of fear, shame, grief, guilt, exhaustion, and loneliness would wear anyone down, let alone a teenager that never asked for any of it and has experiences so unfathomably unique that the only other people that could have possibly understood are literally dead.

#will byers #byler #mine #long post #will #anyway. this is how i always interpreted the i hate WHO i am line especially in conjunction with the word ''mistake'' + being different #within the context of EVERYTHING that's happened to will and continues to happen to him and how unique it is to him in this narrative #bc rly. if you were will.... wouldn't you feel like a mistake? even outside of that outside of the supernatural i'm speaking to my #friends that have ''Something Wrong'' with them. when something happens to you and you're not the same after and you're surrounded #by people who are able to move on and be normal—don't you ever have those moments where you feel like a mistake? when you're #growing up and still interested in your same old interests but your friends start moving on and then you see that they went back to #those interests in your absence—don't you feel like you were the problem then? when people are able to be brave and you can't #find it within yourself to overcome your fear—don't you hate that feeling? don't you feel that negativity towards yourself when you #know that you SHOULD do something but you can't bring yourself to and it works against yourself? like. everything that has happened #to will E V E R Y T H I N G !!!!!!!!!!!!! can easily make anyone no matter what part of him you relate to the most understand that #u kno wht i mean? anyway. i jus wanted to bring this up bc his life is a fucking tragedy even without the gay stuff n his current pov on th #and the way that That conversation always centers on fear and bravery it's like. obviously being gay is not easy in that era but i don't #think that line is ''i hate being gay'' with no factoring in of the great many things that have happened to him which alienate him further #as well as with how he does want mike to know and his alan turing poster and his talk with jonathan etc etc #his conflict has always centered around how other people treat him and his issue with that bc that's what makes him feel bad #that just because he's different that doesn't mean that he's Different and must be treated as such #he's different and has people that make him feel BETTER for it like look at s2 for example all of those talks abt using what he perceives #as a weakness abt himself as a strength that no one else can bring to the table. and in s3 when he still believed in being a nerd #and never getting girlfriends etc but when it came from mike thts when he called himself stupid n started down this path bc now #there's that sprinkle of doubt. n tht doubt is the scariest thing in the world—understandably so #also. he literally has an evil monster in his brain like bdkfjhsbkdjhfbskj IT'S JUST A LOT. #he is different for many reasons and has even more reasons to hate Who he is the kind of person that he is #jus my take 😁👍

[tonkatsubowl]

Can I request something like Yan!Sunday with an innocent/naive reader? Maybe something that includes brainwashing/mindcontrol bc i swear sunday is not normal

(only if you want to do this req ofc!)

you decided to visit the shopping center of penacony to buy a few things for your significant other. you had a few dinner ideas in mind, and because of the stress that piles up from yandere sunday, he sometimes never has time to take you out to a nice place to eat, or even cook you something. you didn't mind that at all, considering you were understanding of his situation.

besides, you didn't know that sunday practically had his eye on you no matter what. every move, every breath you take—he tracked.

as you went through the shopping area, you had a small little basket you carried that already had a few items in it. from vegetables to small ingredients to make dessert... you were humming one of robin's music to yourself as you wandered about, putting things in your little basket.

as you continued to shop, you were approached by a stranger. a man in particular, who seemed to have caught his eye when wandering about, too.

"hey there!" he enthusiastically said, beaming brightly, "how are you doing?"

"oh! hello!" you say with a smile, "i'm doing well. i'm just shopping for dinner right now."

"ah, dinner?" he tilted his head, looking at the items in your basket, "making something for yourself?"

"oh, it's not just for me," you shook your head, "it's for my boyfriend too."

there was a bit of bitterness in the man's eyes, but you didn't seem to notice.

"boyfriend, huh? how about you make me something too?"

you blinked, before sheepishly smiling, shaking your head, "ah, i'm sorry. i could get you a small snack or something... what would you like?"

you were incredibly naïve, and the stranger found it admirable. he approached you a bit closer. "well, you can definitely get me a snack, alright. your boyfriend won't know about it."

you blinked again, head tilted to the side. you weren't sure what he meant but you decided to brush his comment off. "well, um... what would you like? there's chips, and—"

"there you are, my dove."

sunday's voice occurred behind you, his arm gracefully wrapped around your hip. the stranger seemed to have recognized sunday, seeing his face with robin all over the streets of penacony. this man... this man was your significant other?

"oh, sunday!" you smiled innocently.

"what's going on here?" asked-he, looking towards the stranger with darkness apparent in his gaze.

"oh, he was just asking me if i could get a snack for him. since you're here," you looked to the stranger, "my boyfriend knows now!"

sunday didn't have to know the context behind what happened, because he already knew everything. he smiled at the stranger but there was an aura of murderous intent.

the stranger began to sweat, before bowing apologetically. "i-i'm sorry. i'll leave now."

he left in a hurry, leaving you and sunday alone. you blinked out of confusion, before looking to sunday.

"huh? i thought i was gonna buy him some chips or-"

"(y/n)." he says in a low voice. "please, do not do that again."

"do what?" your head tilts.

he slowly reaches up, brushing his hand against the side of your face. digits gently brush against your skin, tracing down across your jawline.

"you see, people here are dangerous in penacony. they approach you for needs, or even something worse... a trap, even." his grip tightens around your face, but you didn't move. he wasn't hurting you.

"i suggest that you stay indoors while i am gone."

you blinked again, confusion evident upon your visage, "stay indoors? at your home?"

sunday nodded. "correct. for your safety, i much prefer that you don't leave at all. that is... if you are okay with it."

there was something about his words that made you feel reluctant, but you understood, thinking that he was just looking out for you. you were lost in his eyes for a moment, as though something within was calling out to him... listening to his words.

"... okay!" you beamed. "when would i get to leave?"

"whenever i think it's safe for you, my dear. whenever i tell you it's okay to leave home, then you'll be able to leave, but only for a short period of time. or when i am with you."

you nodded, "alright, but... short period of time? what do you mean by that?"

sunday gave a low, dangerous chuckle, "you can't be out for too long. i worry for your safety."

"i-i see. alright. i understand, so you don't have to worry about that."

sunday nods, "of course. i'll be right here with you."

for the rest of the hour, you finished your shopping and went home with sunday. however, the moment you entered the vicinity, you didn't realize sunday had locked the doors from the inside. you weren't allowed to leave. no matter what. not until what your boyfriend tells you.

"so, what did you buy?" questioned the halovian.

"i bought some ingredients for dinner! i figured i would make something for the both of us, since you're busy with work and i know how stressful it can get."

sunday's gaze softened as he approached you, pressing his lips against the side of your head. "thank you, love. you didn't have to do all of that."

you laugh, nuzzled into his affection as you placed the ingredients on the counter. "will you be leaving soon? i mean, how did you know i was there?"

"ah, i just had a feeling." a lie. he was watching you. "and i figured i'd come by to grab a small beverage or two on my break, then i saw you."

"oh! perfect timing then."

"now, i should get going. remember what i said, (y/n). you are not to leave."

you nodded, smiling brightly at him. "i won't!"

a look of satisfaction appears on the man's face before he disappears into the hallway, the doors closing behind him, ultimately leaving you alone.

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr sunday #sunday x reader

[katyspersonal]

Guys oh my gosh hgbghgg I am a GENIUS! I've finally figured an explanation for, at the first glance, unreasonable vitriol towards Godrick in the fandom! I should have became a psychology professor for this one but don't let me get ahead of myself ok so:

Like.. This can't be the fact that Godrick literally steals peoples limbs to attach to himself, right? Rykard does a similar thing - consumes people and makes them a part of his body, as all those arms sticking out of him are those of his victims. Also both of these characters appear hard to take seriously upon introduction; "i cOmAnD tHeE KNEEL" and "tOGETHAAAA" are equally silly xd But Rykard is really loved, right?

The difference between the two might happen because Rykard is that cool badass rebel against oppressive system, whereas Godrick willingly perpetuates it. But that can't be this piece, and this also can't be Tarnished-hunting. Because another character who simps for the Golden Order and is racist Tarnished-hunts is Morgott, who is also very loved. Adored, even!

I thought maybe Godrick hit the 'disrespecting women' nerve upon insulting Malenia, which is already a sore topic in the fandom? 🤔 But this is likely not true. Not only he himself is definitely not an incel, since Grafted Scions (his children) exist, but also it is all likely an insecurity. Godrick had that line where he called Malenia and Miquella "rank and malformed" when Godrick himself could be considered a disgrace ( 🥁 ) for the Golden Bloodline with his frail, weak build. He has large insecurities that he takes out on other discriminated people, so that certainly wasn't her gender. Again, many other loved characters also disrespect us for who we are, he isn't outstanding. Nor it is him being "pathetic" for escaping the battle he could not win in disguise or kissing Malenia's feet in apology: the 'pathetic old man' is ABSOLUTELY one of the favorite men types on Tumblr and Twitter! The girls (gender neutral) LOVE the 'pathetic old man', that vibe could not have provoked the hate.

Finally, it can't be the authors intention. Miyazaki confirmed Godrick to be a sympathetic character. So, you should feel bad for his situation of continuing the glory of that imposing bloodline that he is not fit for, and NPCs that dislike him are either within their own right to do so, or straight up hypocritical (like Kenneth). Subtexts, media literacy and so on can't be used as an arguement for why Godrick would be intended as repulsive character.

So... Yeah, it seems like there is no real reason for why Godrick should always be singled out, only brought up as a laughing stock, always brought in negative and mocking context in polls and headcanons compilation and bring his fans being seen as weirdos by an effect, right? Whatever reasoning might be the first responce is very easy to debunk! I think I've finally found an actual reasonable and sympathetic explanation as to why fandom dislikes and bullies him so much more than any other character that explains EVERYTHING! I am going to go under cut as this is the result of long, meticulous thinking and this post is already getting long, so here it is:

💫🌺 S K I L L!!! I S S U E!!! 💕🔥💫

#elden ring #godrick the grafted #elden ring observation #fandomry rambles

[whorediaries-09]

now i'm your daisy;

pairing- priest!remus lupin x reader warning(s)- 18+ content, dark themes. (let me know i should add more) [this is a dark fic. your media consumption is your choice and i'm not responsible for it. please do not continue under cut if you're uncomfortable.] a/n- here ya go honey @fictional-magic. i won't gatekeep ✍️.

ps- not using my regular taglist since this is a topic many people can be uncomfortable with.

little train

don't blame me (part one aka context)

' something happened for the first time, in the darkest little paradise shakin, pacin', i just need you. '

in the sweet innocence of the gentle sin, he worships you like a deity. like fresh poison, he consumes you, his lips travelling to every part of your body. he tells you his sins when he slips his tongue into your mouth, tasting you. he feels like a dog at the shrine of your light.

'you taste so delicious,' he whispers, as you nod. his hand unzips your dress, taking off the white fabric from your body. the cold air greets you, hardening your nipples into little nubs. he circles his fingers around him, his lips now on your neck.

'i've never had sex in a church before,' he says, sinking his canine into your neck. he sucks on the slightly sore spot and your hand travels into his locks.

'there's a...first time for everything i suppose,' you tease, arching your back. he laughs,

'i'm sure he won't mind. here let me help you with that,' you shimmy out of your cotton underwear.

'you'll have to say more than just your the rosary,' you say as he falls on his knees, his fingers sliding along the folds of your cunt. you arch your hips onto his fingers, the cruel hot madness of lust and greed ruining the plethora of your innocence. he slides his tongue between thighs, and you shake, your fingernails gripping onto his shoulder.

'yes, i'll have to say more than just the rosary. you're very funny,' he laughs, his tongue lapping onto your clit. you shake, and he catches you by your leg. he puts his thigh on your shoulder, his mouth still sucking on your sweet bundle of nerves. you arch your back, and he cranes his neck to see you ruining apart by his constant flicking and teasing.

'god forgive me,' you say, as he inserts two of his fingers into you. your fingers catch onto his hair, and you push him deeper between your legs. he licks up on your cunt, ravaging you like a starved man.

'we-shouldn't be doing this, but i want you so bad,' you scream, your voice echoing through the walls of the church. he pumps into you faster, finding your sweet spot with a curl of his long fingers.

'please, mr. lupin, right there-' you push his head deeper, as deep as you can, his stubble rubbing against the skin, wounding you with the mark of your sins. it breaks you apart into the havoc, when you feel your orgasm snap out of your body, your release pouring out of your body, coating his tongue.

he stands on his feet, his arm circling around your waist as he kisses you again, his mouth brandishing into yours. he lets the taste of you and his saliva down your throat and taste buds. it makes you shiver.

'i don't want to fuck you on the pier, it's not very comfy,' he says. his eyes wander about, and he continues, 'up on the altar,' your eyes widen.

'what? are you serious?' he nods,

'yes i'm serious, now up the altar,'

you walk towards the altar, your legs still shaky with the blissful euphoria. his hands grab you by your hips and he helps you up on it.

'perfect height,' he breathes, spreading your slick legs, 'lie back, sweetheart,' his eyes wander about your figure, legs wide apart, flushed cheeks, tears and mascara rolling down your face, and messy hair.

'just a like fucking angel,' he says, 'lay down for me sweetheart,' the stature of jesus hangs above you, the remnant of the sunshine filtering through the windows. as he slides down his shaft within your folds, teasing your slit with the tip of his cock his eyes wander over to the crucified jesus on the cross,

'perhaps, you'll forgive me,' he says. then he lowers down his eyes to your form, spread down beneath him. his hand wanders to your waist. 'perhaps, he's a bit jealous too,' he smiles. he digs his fingernails deep into your waist, pulling you closer and the other teases your entrance slowly with the tip of his cock.

'i'm gonna slide right in there okay? just tell me if you're uncomfortable,' he gasps, pushing himself inside of you. you arch your back, sinful moans leaving your mouth, his shaft filling you up to the brink. he braces himself by holding onto the edge of the altar, his knuckles turning white with the pressure.

'god, you're so wet f'me,' he praises, his finger now tucking a sweaty strand of hair behind your ear.

'jus' for you mr. lupin,' you mumble, quietly gasping as he pulls himself out just to push himself back into you again. his finger circles on your stimulated clit and breathes,

'sweetheart, the sounds you make. someone could hear them and walk right in, but don't you fucking stop.' he chuckles darkly, 'i want them to walk in, let the fucking world know how good you feel,'

'please,' you whimper, motioning him to continue. he nods, catching you by your hips and slowly rutting into you, pining you to the cold wood of the altar.

'god, why haven't we done this before? i have wanted to, believe me so many times,'

'me too, mr. lupin.' the pressure of his hands increase on your waist as he pulls you closer, pushing himself deeper, so deep you feel him in your cervix,

'really? i'm glad to know the feeling is mutual,' he bends down, his teeth nibbling and mouth sucking on the bites he leaves behind,

'that sunday you sat with me for hours discussing the gospels, i wanted to fuck you so bad, take you on the floor, marking you as mine. i wanted to push your head down on my cock the whole time i watched your mouth move,' he says, chuckling darkly as you clench around his cock. his finger linger on your lips, 'those lips, warm, welcoming and glistening with your spit,'

'you like the sound of that? i feel you clenching around my cock,' you nod, and he smiles, his tongue swiping for his lower lip.

'such a perfect warm and wet cunt,' he praises, 'i so quick witted, always has something to say.' he rubs your clit, and your walls convulse around him. your chest heaves as the hotness fills you up. you flutter your eyelashes as you feel his thrusts grow sloppy. wrapping your hands around his neck, you pull him closer, ravaging your mouth on his.

'fuck, fuck, i'm going to cum,' he says. he presses his hand down on your hip, 'please tell me i can cum inside you, fill you up,' you nod, your head in the euphoria of the shrine of your sins, as your cunt convulses around him and you release your orgasm around him for the second time that evening.

'please cum inside me, remus,' when you speak his name, his control topples over the edge of his insanity and he releases himself you, chanting your name. his cum drips out your abused hole when he pulls out his softened cock, painting your thighs and falling on the altar he fucked you over. your chest heaves with satisfactory exhaustion.

his eyes burn through you, and the lores of lust break down. he realizes he should've worshipped you sooner. he should've been your daisy sooner. you were his darkest little paradise, and he wanted nothing more than you. he'd fall from grace, to be succumbed by the madness of your serene lust. the only heaven he could be send to was when he alone with you, even when you offered him a deathless death.

#harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #marauders #the marauders #marauders era #remus lupin #remus lupin x you #remus lupin smut #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x reader #kinkotober #remus lupin fanart #werewolf

[matan4il]

Buddie 611 meta

I LOVED that the ep showed us how Eddie wasn’t doing compressions on Buck because someone instructed him to. No, he just couldn’t stand by, couldn't let someone else try to bring his partner back to life, so he announced he was taking over, fuck anyone who would try to stop him. No one even tries to, they wordlessly acknowledge Eddie as Buck's mad with worry partner, much like how in 315, the team treated Buck while Eddie was in danger. And then Eddie shocks Buck’s heart back and gets his pulse going again. Eddie literally kept Buck’s heart going, and then he was still so distraught that he yelled at the medical staff (even though as a medic, he knows it’s pointless), “Do more!” 'Coz that’s what Eddie himself was doing, he stepped in and did more than he was asked to, a continuation of us having seen him doing exactly that in 610 as well, when he didn’t wait for Bobby to decide what to do to help Buck, Eddie charged up an electrocuted ladder he was just thrown off of. Because when it comes to Buck, he will always do more. ~~

The significance of the bond between them is also shown when Eddie is the first flashback Buck experiences within the coma dream, the first lifeline to the real world. That’s continued when the second flashback is to the tsunami, where Buck saved Chris. However, Eddie and Chris aren't quite present in these flashbacks. Buck’s subconscious is at war with itself. The Diaz boys are this powerful connection to the real world (much like Buck and Chris were Eddie’s back in 315, as I tried to demonstrate in this gifset), but the coma dream shows the power of childhood trauma and how much we can be trapped by the desire to fix it. The whole dream contrasts Buck having parents who are loving, who want and appreciate him, with everything bad that would happen if he weren’t with the 118. As the dream goes on, the price keeps getting higher, yet Buck still struggles until the very end with letting go of the illusion that his parents love him, and the sense he himself can be fixed if they do, like he’d then finally feel good enough. That’s why, in a sense, Eddie and Chris have to be more absent than present for the coma dream to be seductive. Because if they’re fully present, if he truly engages with their coma versions and remembers the family unit he has outside the dream, the balance would be tipped over, the battle would have been decided before Buck had a chance to learn his lesson.

That’s why he only hears what happened to Eddie, he doesn’t witness it firsthand, and why when the dream's seductive nature is failing, suddenly Chris is there (despite his coma version not being in LA) to tempt Buck into staying. Even then, walking away from the dream version of Chris while telling him that he’s not real is the only thing Buck says he'll always feel guilty about. ~~ 

I just gotta include a small note here on how much I love the progression we’ve had from Bobby saying in 101 that while Buck calls him “pops,” they’re not a family, through Buck telling TK aloud that Bobby’s basically his dad (in the crossover) to Bobby finally admitting this is true for him as well. I’ve pointed out this season repeatedly (like in my 610 meta) that the show’s dealing with questions of fatherhood, including the question of biology in that context, and this ep was no different, yet this truly was one of the highlights for me when it comes to this theme. I love how much Buck and Bobby mean to each other. ~~ 

Buck’s mom saying “your kids” and Buck being confused until she clarifies it’s not his actual children, it’s his students, then his disappointment, that’s one loose end that the ep didn’t wrap up, because that is a continuation of the whole sperm donor situation (with Margaret once more being at the center of confusion on whether Buck is a dad or not). This one is only going to be really addressed once Buck fully deals with his role in Connor and Kameron’s baby’s life, something he can’t properly do until he also faces his role in Christopher’s, a role that this ep really emphasized. No other kids were by Buck’s bed, not even May who has free access as a legal adult and who has now admitted she knows Buck is her step dad’s other kid. Chris needs his Buck in a way that no other firefam kid does. ~~ 

Which brings me to the heart wrenching fate we (and Buck) learn the Diaz boys have suffered in his absence. I have mentioned countless times in my meta posts how important I believe 204 was to Buddie. How critical Buck’s decision to step into Eddie’s mess with him was. Not once, but twice in that ep, first when he helps Eddie by talking to Bobby about Chris spending the day at the station with the 118, then when Buck introduces Eddie to Carla. I have always said Eddie was very attracted (and not just physically) to Buck from the start, but Eddie’s Christopher’s dad first, so he never would have been able to fall for anyone who doesn’t also love his son as much as he does. In other words, I’ve always thought the heart eyes Eddie gives Buck at the end of the Carla introduction scene, that was the moment when he was gone. And now we learn how meaningful Buck himself knows that was. Without that happening, his subconscious just knows Eddie’s parents would have succeeded with their threat of getting Chris away from his dad, leading to Eddie completely falling apart. Buddie's tale is a love story, and this coma revelation is basically the show telling us Buck’s subconscious already knows this. ~~ 

Eddie’s reactions in the real world are also a reflection of how important Buddifer’s little family unit is to all three of them. Keep in mind, even with his therapy, Eddie is still a reserved guy, right? He normally remains calm in the face of adversity, it takes a lot to rattle him, he doesn't easily get to the point where he falls apart emotionally. When he does in this ep, he only allows himself to when his son is looking away. And even then, he just can't go on answering Christopher's questions about Buck's state. So it highlights how important Buck is to Eddie, when the latter DOES fall apart. When he jumps in to take care of Buck on the gurney as it’s wheeled into the hospital. When he shouts at the medical staff. When he looks so wrecked at the hospital, close to what previously it took weeks of insomnia to do to him. When he can’t look at Buck's comatose body or stop himself from crying while he listens to Chris speaking or bring himself to be strong for his son and answer him. And of course, when the reserved Eddie goes against hospital regulations and parental common sense (to keep your kid away from disturbing sights), sneaking his son in to see Buck. But Eddie does it because he gets it. When Chris says he needs to talk to Buck, Eddie knows the full weight of this, because it’s his truth, too. Both Diaz boys need their Buck to wake up. So everything Chris is saying, all the comfort he’s offering, along with the insistence that Buck MUST return to them? He’s speaking for Eddie as well. ~~ 

I also liked that Buck realized during his coma dream two truths that seem, but are not, mutually exclusive: that he does have a family worth going back for, but that ultimately, he’s returning for himself. He’s not trying to please anyone else, he’s not trying to get anyone else’s approval. His adoptive family matters to him, even his bio parents who have failed him repeatedly matter, but at the end of the day, he’s not going back because his loved ones do or don’t need him, do or don’t accept him, do or don’t approve of him. He’s going back because he loves them and he wants to be with them. And that ties in with another thing we see in this ep. 

Bobby describes the coma dream as a world where Buck can fix everything. Buck says not all, seemingly implying he couldn’t bring Bobby back from the dead. But that’s not actually true, is it? 'Coz the coma world is Buck’s subconscious, it can be altered in whatever way he wants. Bobby can be there and talk to him despite being “dead” which means... he’s not really dead, not in the way that makes death so tragic, depriving us of our loved ones. Chris can be at the hospital, despite not being in LA and not knowing Buck. It’s a coma dream, there are no rules! Buck’s subconscious is king! And we know how important it is for Buck to fix things, Eddie pointed it out in 504, and we saw a callback to this just last week. The climax of this ep is even set against the musical backdrop of Coldplay’s Fix You. But this trait stems from Buck feeling like he needs to fix things, to be the hero, in order to be worthy of love. In the coma, Buck realizes he IS loved. And therefore, he doesn’t need to fix EVERYTHING in order to make a difference and be deserving of love. He IS enough, exactly as he is, limited fixing possibilities and all. That’s how he gets to choose both his loved ones and himself in coming back to reality. ~~ 

Oh, can we talk about the heart drawings scene from 514 and how it relates to this ep? I recently answered an ask about it, and pointed out I think Eddie’s heart has been Chris for years now, and for a long time, it was only him. But that scene showed how, thanks to the way Buck has been there for both of them along the years, helping, healing and loving them, Eddie’s heart is no longer exclusively his son. It’s Buck, too. Which explains why the heart theme we’ve been seeing with Eddie since 413 has expanded to include Buck’s in this ep, with Eddie literally restarting it. So 611 really affirms who Eddie’s heart now belongs to. We see how, without Buck, he would have lost Chris as well. Without Buck, he would have lost his whole heart. ~~ 

And that brings us of course to what kind of a person Eddie would be once that happened. We learn he would have become this angry man, drawing on his reaction during the lawsuit story arc. But notice that in both cases, a part of the issue causing Eddie's anger is not having Buck. Yes, back in s3 Eddie was dealing with Shannon’s death, but he doesn’t really start losing it until he also can no longer speak to Buck. Similarly, in the coma dream, he becomes Angry Guy due to the loss of Chris, but that is tied in with the absence of Buck in his life. In other words, losing Buck causes Eddie SUCH grief, that it has no other way out except for rage. ~~ 

Did you notice how once again, Buck got to be Madney’s truth teller? He did that first in 208, when he realized Madney are basically dating. Interestingly, everything he told Maddie about them was also true for him and Eddie. Then in this ep, he tells Chim Madney basically should be married, since they already share every other part of domestic and committed life. Obviously this will come into play soon. So just remember that once again, his words can be easily applied to Buddifer as well, plus Buck’s truth teller status was paralleled back in s2 with Maddie in 204, when she asked her brother about his newfound boy crush on Eddie... ~~ 

Okay, last one, but I just had to share with you maybe my fave parallel from this ep. You might have noticed in my 610 meta how much I think the lightning stroke parallels the shooting arc. Well, this was true with one of the sweetest moments in the ep’s conclusion. Just like how, at the end of 414, we got to witness Eddie hugging Chris while Buck watched on, so we get to see Buck hugging their son while Eddie looks on now. Except Eddie isn’t just looking. He enables the hug by helping Chris into Buck’s arms. Tell me again: how is this not a family? How are these men not partners, dedicated and loving towards each other in every way that matters...? ~~ 

Please enjoy direct links to my weekly meta posts, my Buddie gifs and more of my content in my pinned post. Endlessly thankful to @whosoldherout​, who​ blows my mind away every week with her hard work and beautiful gifs for my meta. Tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here. Thank you in advance for any reblog and like! I’m operating on far too little sleep in order to get this posted quickly, so I can't explain how much any and all encouragement matters to me. Thank you! xoxox

#buddie #911meta #buddie meta #911 meta #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #wm #buddie gifs #buddie gif #911 gifs #911 spoilers #911 gif #911edit #buddieedit #911onabc #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

[i-heart-hxh]

hi i have a question :3 i didnt rlly fully get these panels but was killua over the edge here bcuz he was worried of gon? like knowing bisky said he would leave gon to die someday.. i was guessing he got so paranoid of it and did this for gon's safety. (^^; help

Yeah, primarily what's going on in this exchange is Killua knows Gon has issues with seeing innocent people being killed, and he worries Gon will intervene if he sees the reality, and get himself killed or injured before they can complete their mission. So he's pushing Gon away for his safety, and so Killua can do what he needs to do without putting him at further risk. Killua did promise himself that he'd protect Gon and make sure Gon can fight Pitou, so this is a part of that.

It's actually part of a larger pattern we see with Killua's behavior towards Gon, where he decides to "protect" him by leaving him out of things and not giving him the full context of what's happening. Think of way back in Heavens Arena when Gido and Sadaso were threatening Zushi. Instead of telling Gon what was happening, Killua went behind his back and handled it himself. Another example is dealing with Rammot during the date with Palm. Not that Gon could have done anything then because he didn't have nen, but Killua doesn't even tell him anything about what happened after the fact.

Of course, it comes out of protectiveness and knowing Gon tends to take things too far, but at the same time it means their relationship can't be fully equal as things are--if Killua feels like he has to hide his own feelings and even what's going on around them in order to protect Gon, it means Gon can't make his own decisions or react to the full truth of a situation, and Killua has to make all these judgment calls about what he thinks Gon should and shouldn't know.

I actually think this exchange is interesting because here Killua is a lot more forthright than usual about what's going on and why Gon needs to stay out of it. But I think it also shows that the issues between them aren't entirely Gon's fault--it also comes from Killua pulling away as a result of his own ways of seeing Gon. Rather than laying out what's going on, discussing it, and letting Gon make his own decisions or talking it out so they both can figure out a solution, he makes decisions for him.

In this case I don't think he's necessarily "wrong" to do this within the context of the mission (though it ends up being a dangerous choice for Killua), especially because he tells Gon what's happening and why he's making the decision he is more-or-less, but it's part of a continuing pattern of Killua trying to shoulder burdens for Gon while (usually) shielding him from knowing Killua is even taking those burdens. In the process of taking on everything himself and not believing he needs backup or help, Killua very nearly gets himself killed (the needlefish scene). Only his kindness in seeing an enemy as a potential friend saves him ultimately.

We don't even know if Killua tells Gon the truth about what happened with that, either--my strong guess based on Killua's repeated tendencies is that he didn't, and he hides the seriousness of what happened to him because he knows it'll upset Gon and split his focus.

Also worth noting that Killua gets so worried about what Gon thinks of him and whether he sees him as a friend or a teammate in this arc, but here within the same arc we see Gon actively disappointed that Killua won't rely on him and stick with him, and wanting to continue to act together. We even see him thinking about it after they split up, worrying about Killua:

Of course this is well before he goes into his full rage hyperfocus that causes him to lash out at Killua, but I still think it's telling that here Gon is wanting to stick together and worrying about Killua's feelings. He seems pretty upset that Killua insists on doing this alone, even though he accepts Killua's logic.

This is all part of the communication tendencies on Killua's side that he's going to need to work on in order to have a better relationship with Gon. Of course, Gon has plenty of maturing to do himself, but I think it's worth remembering that Killua makes decisions like this a number of times that he thinks are in Gon's best interest, but it stunts their communication and means they can't work out the issues between them until they blow up in their faces.

Even their parting seems to be an example of this, where Killua makes all the decisions for Gon and tells himself it's in Gon's best interest, but likely doesn't explain fully why he's doing this. So again Gon is left in the dark about Killua's true feelings and motives.

It makes sense this is Killua's tendency, as is explored in canon Killua was raised with a smothering love, wherein he isn't able to have agency over his own life and others are constantly making decisions for him without his input. It makes sense his love for Gon contains some echoes of that.

Of course, it's something I'm sure they can overcome with time and maturity, but this scene is one example of Killua's protectiveness of Gon getting between the two of them.

#hxh #hunter x hunter #killugon #gonkillu #gon #killua #meta #long post #asks #luniandherkite #my posts #for some reason I feel like there's some aspect I'm leaving out in this post #but ummm if there's anything in particular to add feel free to reblog with it or send an ask! #and I guess I can always add on later if I figure it out #I'm not blaming killua here #he was doing the best he could in a tough situation

[opluffys]

Personal-

posted first to my archive- you can read ‘mentor mentee’ for more context if you’d like, but you can also read this blind! pls let me know if there are any errors and i hope you enjoy!

tags- rough sex, size difference, size kink, angst, toxic relationship, internal conflict, creampie, vaginal sex, mating press, fem reader.

4k words.

-Ghost x Reader-

-nsfw/smut-

Forcing yourself to drag your stare from the monotonous and drab documents onto him, standing there in all of his terrifying glory. Mountainous and big, all of him, from his behaviour to his looks. You were tired of it, of him. Lies.

You wondered what brought him in this time. Part of you had already known, though.

"Did you fuck him again?"

You scoffed, clicking your pen and setting it down gently, the dark ink setting to dry over the tinted pages. You had wanted to tell him a false truth, but is it really false? A growing bit of you had wanted to scurry back to Price, sticking to his side just as you'd done for Ghost.

"Why does that matter?" You began to kick your shoes off, knowing what would happen in the next few moments. Bent over the desk and fucked until broken sounds left you, like always.

Ghost stilled, displeased with your response. He'd not yet closed the distance between you two, not yet sealing your fate for the night. To be sore and stuffed full of him, is what you'd anticipated, thighs squeezing together as you started to reminisce.

What good were you though, if you were just made to say yes? To always listen and mindlessly obey whatever Ghost would say and ask of you. You attempted to will away whatever lecherous thoughts that compelled you, standing from your office chair.

"There's always something I've wanted to ask you. Something I've been too afraid to even think of." You laughed, a saddened and dry sound. You forced yourself to continue on with your complex dialogue.

"Can you tell me Ghost? What you and I are to one another?" Your question was desperate, tone shaky and eyes glossy. You'd constructed a perfect answer within your muddied mind, hoping that he'd say what you'd wanted to hear, overcome with something to falsify that answer.

You waited for his reply, your stare stuck on his dark one. You loathed looking into his eyes, because they told you everything you'd wanted to know. You knew he had an answer, one so intricate and lengthy, he himself was unaware- the thing that had been so utterly amusing though, was that you were equally as unknowing, too.

And like a true spirit, he'd left as silently as he'd appeared.

•

A muted moan left your lips, bent and folded in an impossible, nearly, position, taking Ghost into your pussy. His large and gloved hands were on the backs of your knees, pushing and folding your legs to compress your entire being. The large and ill-fitting shirt hung off of your body as he pushed into your heat, oddly gently, eye contact starting to make you nervous and nauseous.

He continued to feed his large cock into you, leaving just a bit of him to keep you stretched open before shoving himself back in. You cried out to him, your hands tangled into the cheap sheets of his bed, and- his bed? Your eyes popped open, scanning your surroundings, and oh, how the hell did you end up here? In his supposed safe haven, his fucking home.

How had the stars aligned for the two of you to get a break at the same exact time? Not so much as a break, more like a medically related one for Ghost, and you'd been forced to go watch over him, since he was notorious for not trusting other hospitals. The man barely trusted anyway, this was not at all surprising. This all made sense, but how you'd gotten into this position hadn't.

A soft squeeze at your plush flesh had your eyes flickering back to his, "Look at me while I fuck you."

Your breath hitched, legs opting to close, being stopped by him. He pulled out again, slow, slower than he's ever gone with you before. You were used to a rabid and animalistic pace, one that would shake you back and forth from his thrusts alone. But this? Leisure and slow, powerful and strong thrusts of his cock inside your walls, deep eye contact, those honey eyes with light lashes staring down at you. Ever so slightly narrowing when you'd squeezed him in such a way, tight and snug around his thick girth.

You, for once, stared right back at him. Through your tears at your waterline threatening to flow, through thickened lashes, you stared at him, just as he'd wanted you to. Just his tip was inside of you now, and he waded himself back in, watching and appraising your reaction. Every twitch of your body, how your legs tried to close, how your pussy spasmed around his cock and tried force him out- all of it.

Ghost struggled to get all of him inside of you, so used to just having you sit atop him and laze back, often in your own seat. He'd watch, somewhat amused, as you rode him, so fervent, hands behind your back while you would moan and whisper whatever it was you'd said. He'd, when feeling generous, roll his hips up into you to meet you halfway, watching as your eyes opened in shock when you felt him just a little deeper.

So, at a new and all too personal angle, he continued to work his dick into you, hearing your small 'it's too much,' or 'you're so big' spur him on with every minuscule movement from him. Ghost wasn't one to try new things, opting instead for something familiar. Like maybe having your face buried into the sterile cot as he fucked you from the back, fast and unforgiving speed always having you moan out to him in pure ecstasy. But, he was open for new things at times. Sharing you with Price (once was enough for him), having you set the pace, trying new positions.

He briefly questioned if you'd enjoyed the change, too.

Cutting through the silence, he spoke, "You like getting fucked like this? Feelin' me right- fuck, right here?" His large hand fanned out over your abdomen, pushing down and able to feel himself inside. Your hand scrambled over his, cold leather meeting you. The sensation of the provided pressure too much, per usual.

"God, don't, don't do that again." A whine left you, your body betraying you as you pushed his hand down, a timid ask, again, please.

He listened, pushing that spot over your stomach down, the cold material of his gloves making it feel a little less personal- because to be completely true to yourself, you had to admit how badly you'd wanted to touch him. To feel his hands, without the leather barrier, to hold them and wonder how they would feel in your smaller ones. Your hand enclosed over his, raising it a bit, fingers attempting to lift his glove off. You wanted it to feel personal. You were tired of it not being such.

But you were also so fucking scared of it becoming just that, too personal. As every aspect of your day to day life had some of Ghost in it, your conscious and mind having the most of him within, constant thoughts plaguing your mind. These thoughts, for once, hadn't deterred you, continuing to ease the leather glove off of Ghost's hand.

He didn't seem to take note of what you'd been doing, lost in your tight insides, his eyes fluttering closed at the pleasure you'd provided him. Maybe that's why he'd chosen you, because you were the only one who could take him like this, take him any fucking way he'd chosen. You had been the only one able to give him a similar sensation of pure euphoria, just as he'd given you.

"Ghost, I-" A sharp inhale from you as your cunt continued to struggle with his size, "I want to touch you." So sudden, your voice was airy and light, almost as if you'd pass out at any given moment. And from how lightheaded you'd felt at both your request and at the way Ghost had slowly been fucking into you, it didn't seem too far off from actually happening.

Your brain hadn't even had the time to concoct whatever negative scenarios, as he spoke up, "Why now."

Not a question, a statement. He's right- why now? You'd always despised loved the idea of touching him, and you'd so desperately wanted to put that idea into fruition, even though the rightful side of you, the more logical one, had attempted to warn you that it wasn't a good idea. If you'd felt him, then perhaps you'd grow even more addicted than you already were.

You'd take your chances, though.

"I don't know why, just, oh, fuck," You forgot what the hell you were even talking about, feeling his cock just about bottom out inside of you. "Please."

He stopped, hovering over you, a single hand keeping your leg spread while the other was entangled with yours. The ambient and low lighting framing him with an odd glow, one that had you wanting to cower in fear.

Lightly, so much so that you almost hadn't noticed, he squeezed your hand back, an answer to you, fine, yeah okay. It was unsure, just as his demeanour normally was around you. You pushed the glove off, the item falling to the floor with a barely audible sound. You, for a moment, held his hand. Not too long, because then you knew that he'd retract it and slip that glove back on, that sense of protection back on, his sense.

His hand was rough and calloused, but so warm. Heavy in your hand and against your touch, you laced your fingers with his before squeezing, looking up at him, his figure blurry through tinted lenses.

"Go faster, please." A shy appeal, something which your body couldn't even handle, your insides unable to withstand the spare inches that Ghost had yet to fuck into you.

"You can handle it, can't you?" He rolled his hips upwards, his cock dragging against your walls in a way that had you feeling dizzy.

Words had failed you, so you nodded, anchoring yourself to him just by holding his big hand. Your eyes etching shut, before widely opening from a particularly harsh and deep thrust by Ghost.

"Keep your eyes on me."

You attempted at a nod before throwing your head back and gasping, air refusing to fill your lungs as Ghost had nearly pushed the entirety of his dick in. He was filling you to the fucking brim, stuffing you full of him, his flushed tip threatening to bash into your womb again and again.

You held the position that he'd folded you into, thighs beginning to burn at the abnormal angle. You then remembered, he'd crowded into your space while you bandaged his abdomen is what began this all. You don't even remember what he'd said to you, what he'd done, for you to end up beneath him- a sight that you'd witness on the regular. He's never had you so close to him, his face merely inches away from yours. His deep and dark stare never leaving yours, spare for the few times he'd straighten his posture and sound his own moans. Gravelly and low, shutting his eyes while his blonde lashes fell over his cheeks in bliss.

You briefly looked down towards your hand, staring at the larger one that had been loosely holding yours. You'd never even seen his hands before, always clad with leather and never showing his actual flesh. It was scarred, and big- just like the rest of him, full of protruding veins and tendons. The size of his lone hand could fit both of yours within it easily, making your face have a warm heat fan across. You began to think about how his hands would pin yours to the wall, the mattress, whatever, while pounding into you. Feeling conflicted between lust and love, no, this isn't love, it never will be.

Yet, you clutched onto him like it was.

You wanted to commit this sight, this entire night, to memory, because you knew that the next morning you'd criticise yourself for it. Endless questioning of how you'd allowed him to get so close to you, to hold you like a lover and fuck into you like one, slowly, oddly carefully for him too- it never made any sense. He'd either be too cold, which is the Ghost you'd known, or he'd slightly warm up, handling you with care instead of typical rag-doll fashion.

You'd handle your emotions in the morning.

You squeezed his hand, tightly, drawing his attention back to you. "Faster," You plead, feeling his hips slowly push against you, the soft material of his gray sweatpants soft against your exposed skin.

"You know to ask nicely, love."

You hated adored when he'd call you pet names, they just made you feel more attached. Nevertheless, you obeyed, "Please, please go faster, Ghost."

He hummed lowly, pleased at your obedience. His leisure speed hastened, his forehead pressing against yours as your eyes flitted closed, little whimpers and moans leaving your agape lips.

"Fuck, so good, you're so good." He grunted, bottoming out inside of you at last, hearing you cry out in slight soreness. His nose was brushing against yours, his eyes on you, brow furrowed. He's so fucking pretty, and you hadn't even known what he'd looked like.

"You're so deep," Your words slurred, feeling his cock rub up against your slick walls deliciously.

"Yeah? You like it, don't you?" He groaned, sounding like a deep growl rumbling in his clothed chest. His speed was dizzying now, slamming into you with fervour.

You nodded, feeling his hand pin yours on the mattress, the soft and laced hold now turning into something filthy, a means to hold you down.

"Use your words, don't go dumb on me just yet." He teased, returning to the slow and downright tortuous pace he'd once been at.

"Yes, I like it, I love it," You stopped yourself from saying something that you'd soon regret, those three words remaining unspoken.

"I know you do." A long and drawn out moan left him, his hand grasping your wrist as he continued to ram into you.

A sudden wave of uncomforted emotion consumed you, thoughts of how close he'd been making you feel queasy. You wanted to get him off, while simultaneously wanting to pull him impossibly closer. You didn't know when he'd feel like this again, so you felt like you were taking this entire situation for granted- but those conflicting thoughts were eating at your very sanity, making his close vicinity unbearable.

Looks like Ghost shared your sentiment, backing away from you and removing his hand from yours. Instead, he looked down towards you as his cock continued to drive in and out of your wet cunt. You hated how he had known how to fuck you just right, making sparks fly within your synapses, always coaxing multiple orgasms from you, he had always known what to do with you.

His ungloved hand reached up to the bottom of his balaclava, and you clearly froze up. You had to be hallucinating, because if just touching him would make you feel so utterly confused, you couldn't even begin to fathom how seeing him would fare.

That cloud of constant anonymity surrounding Ghost made things easier between the two of you. While you had shown and intimated at your true feelings, albeit rare, you have done it before. Typically when seating yourself on his cock wasn't enough, and you had actually wanted to feel something between you two. You couldn't lose that, because then you knew that you'd fall for him, it's already happened, hasn't it?

He pulled the fabric up, acting as a striptease while shallowly thrusting into your heat. He stopped just shy of showing the bridge of his nose, and you turned away before you'd even gotten a glimpse of him. You didn't care how badly you'd wanted to see him, see Simon and not Ghost. You didn't care at all, staring at the bland and blank white walls as you were moved up and down due to his hips colliding against yours.

It was sudden, his bare hand on your face, nearly smooshing your cheeks together, roughly bringing your stare back to him.

"Not a very good listener, are you? Look at me."

Your stare never met his, tears prickling at the edge of your eyes, please, don't make me see you. I don't want to fall in l-

A harsh thrust forced you to meet his gaze, and you felt an odd sense of relief rush through your system as his entire face wasn't exposed. Just the bottom half, which you have seen a few times, in a more clinical setting, of course. He's never shown you himself whilst balls-deep inside of you.

Well, until now, anyway.

"Good." A quick praise that had you melting against his welcomed touch. You were unaccustomed to seeing his lips form the very words he'd said, yet you could watch it all day. He removed his hand from your face, instead tugging at his loose shirt, bringing it to catch on his teeth.

Fuck, that shouldn't be that hot.

His eyes were on your trembling figure, at times glancing down to watch his thick cock disappear inside your greedy pussy. Gripping him in a way that you thought he wouldn't pound into you again, foolishly wrong as his cock returned within your cunt with a low groan. The gauze covering his abdomen following every light twitch from his stomach having you watch with embarrassing intent.

Your thighs burned as they were spread to their limit, one of your hands grabbing at the sheets as your very life depended on it. The the other was clutching tightly at his inked arm, nails biting into the decorated skin, he grunted as your nails raked over his arm, his thrusts halting as he felt his own orgasm creep up on him.

Normally, he would speak during this period, tell you how perfect you were for him. But, he kept quiet, due to the fabric of his shirt in his mouth, or maybe he just wasn't in the mood. You didn't know, you didn't care, you were lost in the way his cock would push right up against that spot that had your vision blacking out. Your own hips lowering to meet his in mutual thrusts, eyes rolling back in pure pleasure and liquid ecstasy shooting through your own spine, every disc lighting up.

Ghost's hot and heavy dick continued to punch into your drooling cunt in such a way that nearly had you bawling. You felt your toes begin to curl as all of the signs were leading up to your own orgasm, something of which you'd been chasing, yet delaying, for you knew that those rose-tinted glasses would shatter.

Again- you didn't care though.

His gloved hand reached to rub at your neglected nub with passion, having a high pitched moan leave your lips. You jerked into his touch, a greedy imploration for more, your body betraying your very mind and virtues.

Your ask hadn't been ignored, the tight circles he drew becoming neater and more attentive to every twitch and move from you. You whimpered his name, feeling his fingers on you and his cock ruin and pick you apart being too much, even for you. You, who had been moulded and formed to his very imprint, wanting and constantly ready for him.

A brush of his fingers and feeling his cock drive into you just right had you sobbing. Your back arching up towards him, your nails making crescent shapes over his exposed and inked skin, as you had finished over his fat cock. He groaned at watching your orgasm wash over you, humming deeply while he witnessed your comeback to the scene. Your sensitive nerves not getting a break as his pace had only hastened, cock driving into you at the most proper and precise angles.

With a huff, his shirt dropped down to its correct spot, hiding his body from you. He groaned as he felt your insides squeeze him with a vice grip. His mouth was agape, stubble framing his jaw beautifully, kissable lips forming a sentence, "He can't fuck you like this. Not like I can. Nobody will ever be able to, because you're mine." His words were rushed, his thrusts becoming sloppy as his cock twitched inside you.

God, you nearly unraveled under him once more at his very words. You already knew who Ghost was speaking  of, and no matter how good Price was in bed, he was right, he couldn't fuck you like Ghost could.

You didn't confirm his words, though. You couldn't, because then you'd have to admit he was right, right about you belonging to him. And oh, how you'd wanted that to be a cruel reality, held in his virulent grasp.

You heard his sounds grow in quantity and felt his thrusts quality begin to deteriorate. You knew he'd been close, "Inside, please."

"Not goin' anywhere else."

While fucking Ghost, you quickly learned that he was obsessed with the idea of finishing inside of you. You quickly had to start the pill, lest you wanted to carry his child. You didn't know why he loved it so much, maybe it felt good, maybe the sight of your pussy leaking his cum after being stuffed to the absolute brim was such an arousing sight to behold. But no, it was a means to claim you. To mark you as his in a way that no other would have the ability to.

And he'd do just that, again and again, and again, and again, andagainandagain-

He groaned, such a low and addicting sound as he doubled over you. His cum filled your cunt, his heavy balls slapping against your skin as he continued to fuck his seed back into you, your knuckles blanching at how tightly you had held both the sheets, and Ghost's arm.

The both of you were unmoving, his dick softening inside of you before he'd pulled out. He untangled himself from you, stare stuck on how your abused hole leaked his essence, using his thick fingers to push it back in. You remembered what he'd said before while doing so, 'Not good t'waste,'.

You laid still, regaining your breath as well as your ability to form thoughts while you felt a warm cloth tidy you up. His touch would sometimes linger on you for a moment too long to be considered an accident, yet you'd shake it off and consider it as one.

You clothed yourself, pulling on a set of bottoms, ultimately unnecessary, as the shirt you wore was like a dress on your shorter stature. You don't know how Ghost's article of clothing had ended up in your hands- on your very body nonetheless, his scent embracing you, yet sneering at you, feeling attached?

You checked his wounds and re-bandaged any as necessary, as you were still a doctor, after all. You'd had plenty of things that remained unsaid, to both yourself and to him. You'd wanted to tell him your true emotions towards him, but you were so afraid. Afraid of him, or rejection, or both. It wasn't clear, and it wasn't feasible to build a relationship with a man like him, anyway. With a man so fucked up and broken, incapable of feeling how you felt, even a sliver of it. Is what you had thought, anyway.

Ghost watched as you shoved on a windbreaker in a hurried way, slipping your shoes on as you'd wanted to run. Sprint off into the sunset and forget whatever fucked up relationship was between you and Ghost, if you could even call it such a thing. What the two of you were was truly complex, forever unknowing to you and him. Despite this, he yearned to say a single word to you, a pathetic beg forming in his mind.

He'd wanted you to stay.

#fanfic #smut #cod mw2 #cod mwii #cod smut #cod x reader #ghost cod #ghost mw2 #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley

[nightylantern]

Yoo Joonghyuk x Reader; A story of two regressors

Haha didn’t think I would do ORV? Y’all I need more orv fics, HUGE novel spoilers so beware, but no explicit spoilers so if you are only WEBTOON reader and have no context of the novel you may end up confused, I will write novel free version, and it will be available later this week or next week so stay tuned!

You both were the same, yet different

The both of you had been given the skill “regression,” and thus you both had agreed to be companions, before Kim Dokja appeared followed by a noticeable Han Sooyoung. Beforehand it was just the two of you, the both of you bled together and teamed up in the previous regressions, the two of you wholly relied on each other and swore to always to keep the other in check, regardless of how far along you would be.

When you both met, it was your 0th turn and his first turn. You both were in different cabs and came out of the train, along with Kim Namwoom and Lee Hyunsung. Eventually meeting Lee Jihye and recruiting her aswell saving Lee Seolhwa from Anitus. You barely recall what had happened in that regression aside from bonding with the crew and having a playful relationship with Yoo Joonghuk, you teased him a lot, trained with him, and the two of you became each others support, each others weight. Was that to say the two of you were romantically involved? No, both of you were prioritizing your survival and plus, Yoo Joonghyuk had his little sister to protect. Regardless, you bonded over your power aswell as the fact that you would see each other again in the next life, until your quick end came within a few scenarios.

When you woke in your 1st regression, you recall Joonghyuk calling for you, clearly a bit disheveled, you were happy to see he also was sent back, but sad when you realised your old companions weren’t. It was hard, you couldn’t reminisce with Jihye about the early scenarios, couldn’t bring up the funny moments with Namwoon, or even small talks with Hyunsung unless they happened again…but even if it did they…felt so different. You recalled how Joonghyuk was a bit colder in that round, but still a bit hopeful nonetheless, and then the both of you were approached by Anna Croft, where you found suspicion, he took the offer she gave, an offer to save the world.

Once again Lee Seolhwa was in your group except her relationship with Joonghyuk was much more…comfortable I suppose. You thought you had seen his eyes linger on her on the previous round, and now you were sure because it was clear he had feelings for her. You often told him not to let his feelings take over, for they were in the middle of survival and loving someone would just be tragic, yet he continued to love, and while you warned him for his own good you couldn’t help but feel…petty.

You watched as they would eventually get married, and eventually they even were going to have a child, and while you supported them every step of the way your heart continued to ache, and then Anna Croft betrayed you all. You recall how Joonghyuk cried when his sister died, he looked to desperate at that time, but when Seolhwa and his unborn child died he went mad, so mad that he accidentally killed you, but even as you were dying you held on him tight, hugging him, apologising for being weak and promising you will be there in the next round. By the time he was able to snap out of it he cradled your body, and for the last time he cried, and then it all went black.

When you met in the next regression, his third one, everything that you had gone through felt so…distorted, it was as if after all of that time you went through hundreds if not thousands of regressions ahead rather than just one… but when you met Joonghyuk who looked rather shaken but closed off completely you confirmed it was the 3rd round, after all if it wasn’t the third round what round would it be, a secret unknown round hundreds of rounds ahead?

This round was much different, he considered you his companion but he was so cold, he monopolised what he could and was different from before, but it was understandable considering what he had went through. On top of that not only was Kim Namwoon dead and other people had survived, a suspicious man named Kim Dokja also appeared and had known the future. It was interesting, he knew of Yoo Joonghyuk but when he looked at you he seemed confused, and he was pale when Joonghyuk said you were his companion of his last two rounds despite Dokjas offer, but it wasn’t as if it was because you had taken the offer, it was if you were an anomaly, a glitch in the system, something that wasn’t supposed to exist, or maybe he didn’t know you existed as he seemed confused about your presence. It was different for you as you seemed to have recognized him, you never seemed to have met him but he looked so…familar. He wanted to help, but the last time Joonghyuk trusted someone both of you died horribly, so he tested him by throwing him off the bridge and sure enough, he proved himself through the scenarios.

It was the three of you until Han Sooyoung came along, another woman along with Sangah, Heewon, and Gilyoung who looked familar…it made you think every time you were stumped, but you guys remained close nonetheless. You would train, laugh when Kim Dokja did something to irritate him, and Joonghyuk would try his best to comfort you when you felt like you were gonna go into the regression depression just as you would with him(Though Kim Dokja was the one who would help the most.) There were times where he would even doze off near you, times where he would cook for you and times he would leave you with Yoo Mia, and if either of you “rested your eyes” on each others shoulder, nobody would say a word.

“Do you think this time we will make it to the end?” He asked you surprisingly, you thought his optimism was gone but it seemed that he still had hope left. “I don’t want to get our hopes up but…we have Kim Dokja so I’m sure we will be fine…” You trailed off, but he knew you were worried, he patted your head as he took his leave out of the base. Strange, he didn’t do that ever in this round…

Kim Dokja always took the lead rather than Joonghyuk this time around, and you were grateful as he always protected every one (at the expense of his safety unfortunately, which you would bonk him over the head for.) But even so, the way he always looked at you was so…off, it wasn’t jealousy, in fact Han Sooyoung who often was with Dokja in terms of plans even looked at you confused and suspiciously, it was as if you had never existed beside Yoo Joonghyuk, which couldn’t be true, you were in Joonghyuk previous regressions right? They knew Jihye, Hyunsung, Seolhwa, aswell as others and knew how things worked, and yet when it came to you… perhaps it was some prank as the two were always together, it had to be right? After all you were in the last [redacted] regressions-

“Wait, what did I just say..?” You thought as you blacked out

you were in a dark abyss, but you could hear voices around you, some were panicked and others were calm, and a huge amount of memories flooded through you, yet you couldn’t pick through any of them, they were all distorted, and suddenly you heard a deep but clear voice.

“A shame really,” the deep voice said as you felt a gloved hand stroke your cheek, “after all of those rounds of suffering, I’m left to see him reap the rewards? A companion who could regress despite the presence being non existent before hand.” What? “And a companion who knows the future, and yet that person remains as arrogant and ungrateful as ever.” He wasn’t referring to you, he was referring to that person. You wanted to see who was infront of you, or seemed to be in front of you, but the hands moved from you cheek to your eyes and covered it as your body, “relax,” the voice said somewhat gently, “you will be back with HIM soon.” As you felt your body becoming more relaxed and heavy, you heard him mention that person again, aswell as some mumbling, but there was one sentence you could hear from him clearly, and from the direction of his voice you knew it wasn’t towards you, but towards that person again, and his voice carried both resentment, and sadness;

“Why is it not me but you?”

Credits go to the ORV Novel and its amazing authors, I hope you enjoyed this story! I won’t deny that I actually tried to dig a bit into lore with this fic! I have no plans to write any sort of series in regards to my lore, but I do have an idea of the lore. If I ever do put it out there someone, as long as they credit me can do it in my stead! Farewell!

#orv #orv spoilers #yoo joonghyuk #orv kdj #han sooyoung #yoo junghyuk #kdj #orv x reader #novel spoilers #secretive plotter #lee jihye #kim namwoon #lee seolhwa #lee hyunsung #lore

[soundbulb]

my friends tease me for loving manosphere stuff, which is true, but they always find it kind of baffling and I guess I did too until I realized the manosphere men admired the men in these shows. obviously we all wish we could monologue in beautifully paced and well articulated philosophy, that's not what I'm saying, but the men who like this story seem incapable of viewing rust cohle as someone who is expressing beliefs that create ironic tension in his own narrative, same as marty.

it's not quite as bull in a china shop as marty saying "a man needs boundaries" in monologue while we watch him break down the door of the twenty something woman he's cheating on his wife with. but from the moment rust brings up "encouraging the capacity for illusion" it becomes glaringly obvious rust's mainlining of the secrets of the universe -- as well as the bulk of his philosophies outcropped from grief -- are exactly that same encouragement of illusion. "the world needs bad men" and "it was never supposed to work, the whole man-woman thing" is hitting you over the head in the context of the show; rust is ducking and hiding. it's intolerable, how grief irrevocably changed him as a person, the marriage that crumbled from that grief ("we turned on each other"), and the resentment it bore, and not because nature programmed it to end but because it all just did.

but that belief, that nature programmed it to end, is an extension of his idea of time as a flat circle. if you will be reborn into the life you've always been born into, than none of these choices are really yours to begin with. none of what happens has anything to do with you, which is how it feels when you lose everything to an accident on some regular day. so if you believe you're wrought through every motion in repetition, then in this repetition you're exponentially separated from anything resembling agency. but still, nature's programming is You, somewhere at some point in imperceptible time; You at one point lived the life for the first time, then over and over and over, it's Your programming, Your design. the marriage ended who knows how many times. it was never meant to work. your kid died who knows how many times because she was always going to, and you have to continue even though it feels like you're trapped inside a predetermined motion, predetermined not by a benevolent power, or even a malignant one, but by You. everything you ever did or everything done to you happens over and over, there is no such thing as once. which is just true within our lifetimes, we still live inside our decisions, our trajectories, and the trajectories of other people worn on us.

but I'd be surprised if rust believed in a "first time" like that. it's like if you roll a marble on a looping track; an elastic collision got it going, but it's already on a loop. you're born without preexistence, but does this mean that first life is a byproduct of your decisions? in the same way gravity dictated you'd move kinetic, a certain shape, slowing and speeding up at this part and that part, can the same be said for how time dictates you move through your life?

but this is what it feels like when your life is completely devastated by something random. it's the aimless inattention of a couple people at the same time; it's positions in space and speed and impact, gravity; it's an accident. you can't cope with the scope of that. you'll lose everything, but of course the world doesn't change, and the giant devouring mystery is no closer to sated or understood or whatever you believe it seeks. it's in the same way a pandemic wipes through your life and leaves you injured and ill. a plague doesn't really care about anything but living, it was never about you; lives in you but doesn't know what You are, in the same way you don't know what massive devouring mystery you live inside.

even in the murder of dora lang and marie fontenot, murders that are actually committed by men with malice and forethought, there's this thing looming above these women and children as though they're likewise devoured by something too large, incapable of seeing them. this is why it's important that dora lang and marie fontenot are easy targets, "chum in the water". it's impersonal, the accumulation of hundreds of other things that made it easy to pick them off. for some of them it was hurricanes. I love the use of hurricanes in true detective, great use of massive destroying mystery. anyway, it's why marie fontenot's disappearance is paired with the "cerebral event" that paralyzes her uncle. all of these are acts of horror too large to perceive, and why this horror is cosmic depends on where you are in the narrative. is it because evil is a design of nature (or god)? is it because you were propelled into this motion, and gravity will bring you back here, to the moment you're devoured? is it because the only closeness to this mystery is in it's silence around you, incapable of speaking to something like you, so small it could never know you were there at all? that one comes at our half way point with joel theriot -- "all my life I wanted to be nearer to god. the only nearness, silence."

the men doing the killing believe they're feeding this cosmic mystery, that it's a mouth and gut and gets hungry for the people they already view as consumable. they make it into a god that demands sacrifices. rust seems to believe it doesn't need to be fed, it will always eat. his relationship to it is hard to pin down, it clearly guides him, but when he speaks of it it's more like it's coming for him. "it's like something's got your name on it, like a bullet or a long nail in the road."

I do relate to this instinct to embrace "there was never another version". whatever I've lost to encephalitis and it's autoimmune consequences, I have this feeling in my gut there's no version of life where it doesn't happen. there's no trajectory for the me before this except becoming the me in this and after this. I think that's why rust's version of grief does resonate so much, because there's nothing he can do about how random it is, so he turns it into a bullet with his name on it. what he embraces here is the morbid version of "it was fate".

so he's mystified his experience of grief, rightfully so, because grief is inherently mysterious, and that is quite literally the process of engaging your capacity for illusion. and ultimately the story isn't telling you what's eating you, it's saying you'd know it much better by it's silence than by anything definable, present.

#true detective #true detective season 1 #rust cohle #ht #htl

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For ruining a coworker's "business opportunity?"

For a bit of context this happened in the Summer of 2020. Also I'll be using the term MLM frequently and in this case it means "multi-level marketing" so comapanies like Avon, Tupperware, Monat, Vector-Cutco, LuLaRoe, etc. A

So I have this coworker let's call her T and in July of 2020 I got a FB message from her that said "Hey girl, so I recently started my own business and I thought you would be the perfect candidate to join my team! We'll be selling cooking and bakeware which should be right up your alley given how much you love to bake! So what do you say are you ready to join my team and leave [place of employment] behind?" I was immediately suspicious about the uncharacteristic tone of her message and asked her "What is the company name?" And she responded with "Pampered Chef." (an MLM). For the record, I am extremely anti-MLM, and know from following several anti-MLM YouTubers that hardly anyone makes any kind of money in those comapanies. So I politely declined her offer. And she immediately said "But you would be perfect! It would be just like when you sold Girl Scout cookies when you were a kid! I need you to join my team!" And I told her "I'm not interested in selling bakeware for an MLM. So my answer is still no." (Also bold of her to assume I did any of the cookie selling when I was in Girl Scouts, I gave thr forms to my parents and they did the bulk of the work).

I thought that was the end of it until I got an invite to an IN-PERSON (remember this was July 2020) Pampered Chef party at her house that at that point 40 people had RSVP'd to. I declined again snd blocked the group and a few days later I got another invite which I again declined. And the process repeated several more times. One day I got one at work within earshot of the manager's office and loudly said "Oh my GOD T I'm not going to your Pampered Chef house party in the middle of a pandemic!" Which got the manager's attention (we had already had one incident where an associate's wedding turned into a super-spreader event where 20 other associates ended up missing work due to Covid) and he asked me what was going on. And me being fed up with the near constant harassment, she messaged me several times a week and even went to my dad about it (he worked at the same store we did), I told him everything. And the following day T announced on Facebook "Unfortunately due to the current state of things, I regretfully have to cancel the in-house Pampered Chef party." She had also messaged me "thanks to you I can't hold my party or recruit people from work. Why did you tell management about it?" And I told her I was fed up with the constant harassment and didn’t see any other way of making it stop. I ended up blocking T after that. And thought it was the end of it.

Until her husband messaged me on FB several weeks later "Hi, I'm [so-so] T's husband, she asked me to reach out to you on her behalf to ask you if you would be interested in joining her team at Scentsy (another MLM that sells scented wax melts) she can't seem to message you for some reason." And I responded "Sir, with all due respect I've already had to threaten to file a harassment grievance against T if she continues to try and recruit me for her "businesses." My answer is still no and I will ask you to never contact me about this again otherwise I will go through with my threat." He apologized and I never heard from him again. T on the other hand makes snide remarks about how I ruined her businesses every time we happen to be on the same shift. And how I didn't have to be a narc and go to management about it and I should have just let it be. So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[coochellati]

I wonder how young Bruno was when he got his Stand. I'm betting on 15. He needed time to earn a reputation and attach Polpo's attention to himself.

Hi! Oooh, this is a great thought to chew on. I haven’t really given too much thought on this before, so thank you for bringing this to my attention! Today I’m going to do my best to answer the question…

To determine what age Bruno first manifested his stand, we must figure out how Bruno acquired his stand. A quick disclaimer: all I’m about to present is speculation, as Golden Wind does not provide any evidence as to how or when Bruno got his stand. So how did he get his stand? Was he was pierced by Black Sabbath's arrow during Polpo's initiation test? Or could it be that he was a natural-born stand user? I believe the latter—here’s why.

First, I want to discuss fate within the context of JJBA. According to the JJBA wiki, "Fate or Destiny is the concept of a predetermined course of events. [...] It may be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or that of an individual." Fate is a major theme within JoJo's, especially in Bruno's story. In chapter 78, page 5 in the manga, or episode 20 of the anime, it states, "...and the wheels of fate continued to turn," which points us to believe that everything that occurred within Bruno's life was fated to happen. Applying this logic, he was fated to join Passione.

The concept of gravity within JJBA also ties into fate. It's a universal law within the JJBA universe that stand users are naturally drawn toward each other as if they're fated to meet. Passione is a syndicate comprised of stand users, which is one of the reasons why it is so large and powerful. If Bruno was fated to join Passione, this could indicate that he was born a stand user.

Giorno and (potentially) Bruno aren't the only natural-born stand users in the gang. In Purple Haze Feedback, it's revealed that Narancia is also a natural-born stand user. (This evidence only works if you believe Purple Haze Feedback is canon. I do.) We know that to join Passione, Narancia went to see Polpo behind Bruno's back. In PHF, this event is expanded upon, showing us that Fugo is the one who led Narancia to Polpo. Before doing so, Fugo shows Narancia his stand, and Narancia can see it.

I bring this up because I originally assumed that everyone in the gang (aside from Giorno) was pierced by Polpo's arrow, given that there aren't that many natural-born stand users who aren't Joestars by blood. (This goes for parts 1-6 of JJBA.) If Narancia, a natural-born stand user, was drawn to Passione by gravity/fate, then it isn't out of the realm of possibility that Bruno also became a member of Passione in the same way.

Now that I have established why I believe Bruno is a natural-born stand user, we can speculate on when he became a stand user. Stand manifestation usually accompanies a significant changing point within someone's life, whether it be when Jolyne was sent to prison or when Jotaro's mom became gravely ill. The crucial turning point in Bruno's life occurred when he first committed murder, successfully defending his father from those who wished to kill him. I headcanon that Bruno's stand awakened on that night.

I also like to believe that Bruno's stand wasn't fully developed when it awakened, not becoming the Sticky Fingers we know and love until later in his life. So when exactly was that? That's up to you to decide--as you said, it could have been when he was fifteen. Stands, like your identity, take time to develop, and Bruno was in a particularly tumultuous time in his life when his stand (potentially) first manifested. Another time I could see his stand becoming fully developed was during Polpo's initiation test. Of course, that depends on how Bruno passed. If his test went as Giorno's did, he may have had to use Sticky Fingers to defend himself from Black Sabbath. Do-or-die situations also cause your stand to evolve, as shown by Koichi's Echoes. 

Alright, I think this sums up my thoughts. And thank you again for the ask--I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed thinking about this question!!

#bruno bucciarati #bruno buccellati #vento aureo #jjba part 5 #jjba #jojo’s bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #bucciarati #buccellati #jjba theory #jjba theories #my original content #:)

[2cmtall]

Diluc x y/n: a game of chess

Context: diluc works up the courage to invite you to a game if chess in his most favored room, and it's all well and good. . . With a little extra spice at the end.

A/n: this was written a while back that I've just never posted because I'm lazy, so here we go, I guess 😅. Also this was supposed to be a continuation of the voice line scenario writing but it sort of escalated into its own thing.

=================================================================

Diluc looked up from his desk, having just finished his stack of urgent mail and papers that needed reviewing. He noticed that you were nose deep in that book of yours that you've been interested in reading lately. Something about pirates, he thought as he searched within himself for what to do next. Usually he would take a quick break before moving on to his next task, but in this case, he feels a great need to spend more time with you. He tapped his gloved finger on the deep mahogany of his desk, racking his brain for something to do, but he grew more and more impatient the longer he gazed upon you reading.

It wasn't long before you decided to look up tentively from your book, having felt his intense eyes on you for what felt like forever. You couldn't even focus on the exciting scene playing out in your book, your mind racing as you stared hopelessly at the words. Was there an issue with me bring here? You thought. "Hey, Diluc, is there something wrong?"

With hearing your voice, he startled out of his trance and felt the full force of your questioning eyes on him. He really did enjoy looking into your eyes, loved seeing the multitude of shades when sunlight hits your irises, liked seeing how your facial expressions molded how your eyes looked to him, how your eyes-- "ummmmm. . Diluc. . I asked if you're okay . ?"

Shit. He was so enamoured by those--EYES of yours he didnt even reply to your question. He tried to compose himself and answer you. "No, everything's fine." He said with an awkward grimace to what you could only assume is a smile.

Feeling how the air around them suddenly became awkward, he attempted to right itself by blurting out the first thing that came to mind, "ahem. . say, y/n, It's been a long while since I played chess with anyone but my butler, and I just so happened to have a moment." A hesitant beat. "Care to play a round?"

You didnt answer in the beats that followed, scrunching your eyebrows and gazing this way and that in contemplation. You aren't very good at chess, and strategy based games really aren't your thing. But looking at diluc's eager expression made you consider saying yes. Ah, but you dont want to waste his time with your lack of skills. . .

Diluc noticed your hesitation but didn't want to pressure you. "Don't worry if you don't know how to play, I can teach you. . . If you're willing, that is," he said with a reassuring smile. You felt a bit of relief wash over you and smiled in agreement (diluc's heart soared a little when he saw your bright smile).

He escorted you to another room, claiming that it was the absolute best place to play chess. Now curious, you raced a little to the door, earning a small chuckle from diluc. He opened the door to the room and you eagerly went in, wanting to know exactly why it made for such a great room.

Seeing the room for yourself, you were not disappointed by its beauty. You gasped, "Wow, Diluc, this room is stunning!" Diluc smiled fondly towards you. "Thank you, y/n. I'm glad you like it."

You took some time to look around the room, taking in the elegant decor and the soft lighting. And the chess board! Sitting on a table stained deep brown to match the rest if the room, you gaze your wide eyes on the marble chess board, its pieces more intricately detailed than some of the statues you had seen. The more you looked at the room, the more you came to find and appreciate. "I 100% agree with what you said earlier now. I dont even play chess, but seeing this masterpiece makes me want to play just so I get the chance to use it- and beat you, of course!" You looked back at him cheekily, a Cheshires grin playing on your lips. Diluc huffed with a smile, "and to think I was willing to go easy on you. . . Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't, after hearing how confident you are. . . " he playfully added, an eyebrow raising in amusement.

You grimaced, instantly regretting your words and tried to backpedal. "Aah! But of course you should teach me! Ya know, it's been a while since I've played chess and I fear I've simply forgotten how to play. . . So! Be a gentleman and teach me your ways, why dont you?" You childishly grinned up at him, your hands on top of the other on the table, awaiting his guidance.

He chuckled, his voice a deep timbre, as he sat down on the chair across from you, his hands working gracefully in a practiced dance to set up the board, its pieces reflecting softly against the candle light. After setting it up, he went on to explain the rules of the game and how each piece moves. He was patient and kind throughout the whole thing, making sure to explain again whenever you were confused or had a question, offering up small compliments whenever you understood something. Diluc was impressed by your eagerness to learn, even though with the first round you lost within a few simple moves. You were slightly discouraged of course, but with a few reassurances and advice, you kept playing. The more rounds you played with him, the more confident you seemed, maybe even a little cocky, and the longer the rounds lasted. You were of course nowhere near as skilled as diluc, but you held your own against him considering your lack of experience.

Throughout the many rounds of chess, diluc has noticed a few things about you. The way you make those absurd faces with every dupe or skilled move he makes (one of his many favourites is of the pure distress that runs through your face everytime its evident that you're in a tight spot. He feels a bit guilty for putting you through it so many times, but it simply fills him with a childish joy everytime you strike a face. Your so expressive! He cant quite remember the last time he's felt such unabashed joy in his life).

Or the way your rash decisions often leave even him surprised, your lack of strategy often helping you come closer to winning a few rounds with how random they are (that is until he caught on and predicted your moves, earning himself a prominent glare from you).

And in an ironic twist, he came to enjoy the nonsensical rounds of chess with you, with each round you had with him becoming more absurd then the last, until the games simply became a speed run of stupid decisions and petty cheating, not caring about rules in the slightest.

It left you winded from laughing, your lungs sore from it. Loud banters ran rampant, and you both tried your hardest to stop the other person from playing, slapping and even grabbing each others arms to do so. It got to a point where you stood up, intending to put your body in front of diluc to stop him from moving his own pieces, but when push came to shove and diluc grabbed your hand wanting to pull you away from the board, you tripped and landed on top of him, one of your legs bent on one side of him while the other is between his legs, your arms braced on either side of his fiery head. 

Instantly, the room became quiet, both of you not daring to speak up or apologize, scared of breaking the heavy atmosphere you both were put under. the only thing diluc could focus on was your lips and the way your back was arching in such a way, his mind racing with illicit images of you. His hands could only hover over your hips, wanting so badly to feel the curve of you but not wanting to scare you away.

You on the other hand, was wishing so badly that he would hold your hips in place, feeling the warmth of his large hands just cm from your hips, your waist, your thighs. . . You couldn't help but inch closer towards his broad chest, grazing it slightly, all the while looking at his face, his lips. You gasped softly when you felt diluc reciprocating by placing his hands firmly on your waist and hips, pulling you forward so that your chest was now pressed against his. You angled your face so that your lips were mere inches apart, lifting one of your hands from behind his head to graze your fingers through his hair, slowly trailing your fingertips to caress his lower lip, begging him silently to make a move with your eyes.

Diluc saw that look in your eyes, those damned eyes that could make him do anything with just a simple gaze. It took only a single expression from you, and now he wanted nothing but to kiss you. Kiss you until your lips are puffy and you're clutching at his shirt and his hair. To wrap your plush legs around his waist, pressing yourself on his body, allowing him to caress every inch of skin on you, over and over. One look from you, and now he wants so desperately to pin you against every surface imaginable, his walls, the door, his bed. . .

The only warning you were given was a whispered "fuck. . ." From his lips before one of his hands was firmly intertwined with the hair on the back of your head, pulling you until his soft lips met with yours. You closed your eyes to savoure the feeling of his lips kissing yours with the smallest pecks, and although your mind soared with joy from these small kisses, your body ached for more, adjusting yourself so that both of your legs were on either side of him, lowering yourself down on his hips, earning yourself a slight groan from diluc. He stopped kissing and gazed upon your eyes with a dazed look, ". . . Y/n. . "

"Please, Diluc. . " your hands caressed his chest under his dark coat, attempting to slide it off his shoulders, your hips pressing down on his in the process. The hand placed in your hips was now digging slightly on the plush of your hips and ass, stopping you from moving any more.

That was all it took for diluc to deepen the kiss, his tongue now exploring the cave of your mouth, springing tears in your eyes. Both of your hands moved feverishly across his body, clutching his clothes in an attempt to keep yourself grounded, but to also pull him in closer.

He couldn't get enough of you and your body, either, his large hands roughly caressing your body. He caressed down your nape to your shoulders and arms, you back, feeling the arch of it. Both of his hands came back up to slide down the sides of your body, his fingertips grazing the sides of your breasts, making you inhale sharply in between kisses. His hands lowered even further down your body to the plush of your ass, to your bent thighs pressing against him. He was obsessed with them, his hands caressing up and down, digging, pulling, molding the fat, loved the way your body responded to his touch by grinding your ass on his crotch, the friction of it making his mind go blank.

The more he touched you, the more feverish your body felt, wanting to touch more of him, your hands worked to get rid of his coat and shirt, but your mind was too dazed to unbutton the shirt right so diluc had to help you remove the articles of clothing. One by one, more clothes were stripped and thrown across the floor. Diluc lifted you up from the chair and carried you across the room, still kissing you, and pinned you against the wall, your bare skin sandwiched between the wall and his toned chest, muscles working in tandom to keep you lifted. His lips worked his way down to your neck, kissing and sucking on the sensitive skin, making you moan in his ears. His assault on your skin didnt stop, hickey's continuing to form on your skin. He kissed your shoulder, your collarbone, and back up to your lips.

"Y/n. . . " he whispered into your ears, causing you to gasp softly. He looked at you with anticipation, in question. Do you want to continue this?

And you did. You did want to continue, you wanted to continue touching him, kissing him, wanted him to drag his hands and lips across your body, to carry you into his bedroom and continue exploring down each others bodies, feeling his chest press against yours above you on his bed. . . . You wanted it all.

You pressed your body more harshly against him and whispered in his ear, "I want to continue diluc. . . Please . . . On your bed?" You dragged a hand slowly down his chest, his abs, feeling each muscle and scar. You could tell he was hooked by the way his breathing stopped, the way his sharp gaze followed your hand's slow drag across his skin. He cupped your chin, forcing you to look back up to him, allow him to angle your face closer to his. . .

You were both going to make out again, your lips mere cm away from his when a sharp knock on the door scared the both of you. You both stared at each other in horror upon realizing what position the two of you were in, chests bare and pressed against each other, your clothes strewn all over, your hair and faces a mess, and your hickey's! And all while one of his maids was just outside his door, too.

"Master diluc, are you alright? I heard noises coming from inside. . . "

Diluc attempted to clear his throat but his voice still came off hoarse, "ahem, I'm fine, no need to worry."

"Oh, I see. Well in any case, I have your coffee and a letter with me? Shall I come in?"

You shook you head immediately at that, but of course diluc didnt want that either. "No, thank you, just leave it on the table outside beside the door." It wasn't until you both heard the maid set the platter down with an audible clink and walk away completely that you heaved a sigh of relief. But now that the hot atmosphere was interrupted. . .

"Here, something to cover that up with. . . " you looked behind you to face diluc, holding up a woman's scarf. "Surely you know its rude to give a lady another woman's scarf, right? Perhaps a secret lover of yours?" You teased him with a conspiratorial grin, the awkward atmosphere already dissipating upon your words. He stared at you with incredulous shock before huffing a hoarse laugh, his deep voice turned scratchy from your previous. . . Activities. You tried your best not to let your face show your thoughts.

He stepped closer towards you, gently wrapping the soft cloth around your neck, "I assure you, y/n, that i do not have a secret lover hiding in these walls. . . It wouldn't reflect me well as a gentleman if I that were true."

You laughed in that sweet song of yours, your voice hitching up an octave, and your eyes positively glittering, "oh? And ravishing me against a wall until I have hickeys and swollen lips does?" He stared down on your giddy face, shocked for the second time. He opened and closed his mouth in an effort to retort back, to defend himself, but found he could not, resorting in defeat to rest his head on your shoulder with his hands clutching your arms, feeling the shudders of your bountiful laughter.

Your face burned from embarrassed at what you did with diluc, and it seemed that diluc was bearing the same burning fate. He settled you back down gently and allowed you to retrieve your clothes from the floor, saying thank you when you chucked him his own clothes as well. You both redressed in silence, not knowing what to do next or how the other person is feeling. Upon looking at the mirror to fix up your hair, you realized another apparent problem. Your hickeys are proudly peppered on your neck and collarbone, spots of purple and red trailing all the way up to your swollen lips.

You both ended up staying in that room for a few hours more, laying down together on the couch with dilucs coat blanketing you both, his strong arms enveloping your body in warmth.

#genshin impact #diluc x y/n #diluc imagines #diluc smut #diluc fluff #diluc ragnvindr x reader #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x you #diluc x reader #diluc headcanons #genshin impact diluc #genshin x reader #genshin headcanons

[divorcemotif]

this is going to be kind of all over the place but I wanna look at how martin conceptualizes his loyalty to jon specifically in like, the changing contexts of the later seasons, ig. of all the fucked up martin thesis statement moments in mag 170, "always following, never leading" and how it's placed as a foundational part of his self-conception—within the structure of the episode & dream logic of the house—is the one that’s haunted me the most I think. this episode is in the context of his whole willful ignorance & rejection of choice thing going at this part of the show; he refuses to listen to the statements, or hear about his domain, or make the decision about going into jude’s domain when jon offers it to him directly. and his avoidant tendencies are central to the logic of this episode; the slipping away is enabled by his not wanting to examine things—about himself, about the world—because it’s easier.. “maybe the fog’s here because I want it here”; running away from another person in the house when trying to connect gets too difficult & overwhelming. and then his mantra at the climax of this episode sees him assuring himself that jon will find him, not that he will find jon; although getting out of the fog in this episode ends up being pretty textually thanks to his own willpower rather than jon’s abilities, framing jon as the active agent is what he always does.

it’s this interesting dynamic where “never leading” as an identity maybe isn’t something he likes about himself, but it’s something he’s resigned to, which he frames as intrinsic, and which he’s continually choosing in a lot of subtle ways. if he’s always fundamentally secondary and unimportant—to jon, relatively, to the universe—then there’s no responsibility for him to carry; he doesn't need to dwell on things that are uncomfortable. from a detached bystander's position he can freely make suggestions and criticize jon’s decisions, while evading responsibility for anything that actually happens. but of course, jon being the only vessel through which he has any power to interact with the world or gain information leaves him no influence further than what jon is willing to humour him—and jon is certainly ready to do things martin does not want him to do (or not do things which martin does want him to do) where their convictions diverge. for his own reasons, he can be as selective about what he tells martin as martin is evasive in what he asks.

there’s a pivotal emotional shift in the transition from s4 to s5 and the catharsis at the end of 159, where in a sense martin goes from one extreme to another—from isolating himself and cutting jon out to accepting dependence on jon pretty absolutely, in ways that are exacerbated by the context of the fear apocalypse. but ofc in another sense it’s consistent; even if his decisions in season 4 were made in isolation and jon wasn't involved—or was even actively opposed to them—everything martin did was still about jon somehow, ideologically, which is what doesn’t change going into season 5. the idea he expresses multiple times, in 170 and in season 4, that he’s been alone on a fundamental level his whole life (the line “it’s just me. always has been” in 158 actually connecting his loneliness to the independence of his motivations, wrt his betrayal of peter lukas) is not a contradiction with the idea that he’s always been “following”; the incredibly isolating experience of being his abusive mum's carer having made caring for others—commitment, loyalty—something he’s practiced at doing from an emotional distance, and he’s not used to navigating a reciprocal relationship at all (when they're together martin's selective about sharing his insecurities with jon while expecting jon to make a constant effort to be more vulnerable with him, and doesn’t seem to register this hypocrisy).

and like, from the early seasons most of the major things he does for jon—running into the tunnels in 79; staying with him in the storage closet in 39; returning to carlos vittery's basement in 22, if that counts; generally bringing him tea and pestering him to eat—were always based more in his own ideas of what jon needed/would respond to, than anything jon was or was not asking of him (jon was not singling him out in this regard). so season 4 was not out of line in that respect. and in the final conflict at the end of season 5 he's still making his position about jon, about what's best for him, even though what he and jon want has diverged.

it's in some ways an evasive thing, focusing on jon—whether trying to influence jon’s actions or centring jon in his own—but you also get this kind of muddying of cause and justification. being unable on a fundamental level to conceive of himself as an active player in his own right—wanting things but not knowing how to approach the responsibility that would be implicitly accepted in pursuing them, either by himself or for himself; I think it's a big part of his “it’s not a betrayal if you’re doing it to help” philosophy, where ultimately his loyalty to jon as he conceives it can manifest in going actively against jon’s wishes

#tma #the magnus archives #martin blackwood #op #wrote most of this a couple months ago when I was listening to sedona by sir chloe on repeat #don't you wanna be nobody every once in a while. idk

[leggerefiore]

cw: angst, hurt with slight comfort, drabble, mentions of past abuse

pairing: Cyrus/Reader

You gazed at him. There was no wind. No sun. Nothing around. The ground was hard and earthen, but nothing lush or green grew on it. Something like a dark sky hung above with impossible clouds. Water poured from all angles, pooling into ponds. Land floated in a noneuclidean manner around the space. It was maddening to consider for too long.

Cyrus had been forced into this world. His horrible plans had met their match by a powerful pokemon who sought to protect this world. No matter what he may try, it would act as his foil. Cynthia had told you that this was for the best. His actions were unforgivable – trying to change the very fabric of this world to suit his own needs. If he could not handle this world as it were, then he should be the one to separate himself from it. Agreeing would have been the easiest solution. Saying that Cyrus was impossible to redeem and deserved to rot away far from everyone else would have easy.

But…

You thought of the pained expressions he would hold in moments of reflection and how he avoided an entire area within Sinnoh, not daring to even assign his underlings there. The pictures of his empty eyes as a child with two hands heavily resting on his shoulders. His constant scolding of himself and holding himself to standards that seemed far too high. His quiet tears. Those silent sobs. How he would turn away from you – lock himself somewhere alone and quiet. His rocking. Everything painted an obvious picture.

Most saw the charismatic leader of Team Galactic – the young president of Galactic. No one saw Cyrus, the boy screaming under the surface. Silence was learnt. Emotions were repressed. Obedience without question was rewarded. Freedom was non-existent. You knew, though. You knew it all. Every small little piece Cyrus wished to burn away and blow ashes into the wind, you knew. The real Cyrus was impossible to say, but a mix between the vulnerability and brick wall was most logical.

Logical… It was always science and technology with him. He was an engineer and praised as a scientific genius. All an escape. You clenched your fist. Cynthia was ignorant. That was fine. If you had been in her shoes, you likely would have done the same. Empathy would run low after a while, especially without context.

His eyes were distant, and his clothing was growing a bit tattered. You felt tears in your eyes. He did not seem to acknowledge you, only bringing a foot up slowly to continue forward. Rushing to him, your arms came around him. Desperation to prove that he was real swirled through your mind. He stopped. You looked at him. His gaze was still focused forward. He began to try to move again. You shook your head.

Nothing you could do deterred him. He kept trying to move. His gaze never shifted. Only short pauses would come if you called out his name. You struggled against him. Why would he not look at you? Why did he not speak? Frustration bubbled up inside you. Enough was enough. Shoving against him, you knocked him to the ground. You fell along with him. Dust spread out from his impact. His eyes remained distant. They stared out in the vast expanse above you both. Your heart screamed. A sob escaped your throat. You grasped tightly onto his shirt.

Maybe you should rot here, too… It felt like you were almost entirely alone. You had been angry when you learnt of Cyrus's plans. It had almost readied you to entirely call off your relationship in an attempt to stop him. You had not been even able to speak with him before all this happened. He stopped coming home – threw himself deeper into his work. You sobbed again. Why? Why did this happen? You knew he was struggling, but you were always there for him… He could have come to you…

A hand suddenly came to rest on your back. You froze. Blinking, you forced yourself to look around. Cyrus's arm rested against you. His gaze remained distant.

“… Cy-Cyrus...?” his name left you like a whimper. You felt tears staining your cheeks. He did not move, yet his hand remained firm. You stared longer. Nothing changed. Your body rested against his. A slow heartbeat came from him. You listened. It was calming. “… I missed you…” you mumbled, “I'm sorry I didn't come sooner… It was difficult figuring out how to enter this place.” You had truly struggled for months. A plea to his previous comrades had been the only thing that aided you in getting here. He seemed unmoved. You sighed.

“Saturn was offering to replace you,” you teased him, “… He was desperate to fix what you left him with. It had startled me. Maybe he just likes me in general – Cyrus?” His gaze finally shifted to you. The hand grasped your shirt tightly. “… I'm not going to leave you, though,” you said firmly, “…. If you are going to rot away here, then I'll join you.”

“You will not,” his voice was raspy from its disuse. You froze. A hard focus was in his gaze.

“… You think you can stop me?” you laid your head back on his chest, staring out in the infinitely confusing space. A strange pokemon swam around the air distantly.

“…” He was silent, “Please. Return.”

“I'm not leaving you again,” you shook your head, “… I made that mistake once. Never again.” Your arms shifted to embrace him. Would this place become both of your tombs? It was entirely possible. Cyrus could be harshly stubborn.

His other arm wrapped around your waist. “… There is more in that world than me,” he continued, “… Why even bother with me?” You met his eyes again. Those powerful blue irises. The spirit he rejected… It would burn within those eyes.

“I love you,” you simply said, “I want you. No one else.”

He blinked. His body went momentarily limp on the ground. No more words were said. Yet, he understood. It was plainly obvious that you would not leave without him.

Perhaps you would both rot into shells of your former selves within the Distortion World. Giratina watching as two lost souls forever wandered its barren realm side by side.

Or… maybe, he would relent. His love and concern would prove too much, and you would leave with him. Your return may be difficult, but Cyrus would face hardship to make you smile and return to a safer realm of existence. Those who waited on his and your return would likely gasp and cheer for you both.

Only time would tell.

#pokemon x reader #cyrus x reader #pokemon cyrus x reader #pokemon/reader #cyrus/reader

[archivalofsins]

The Prisoners (All the characters who label themselves as prisoners in their "Thank You" messages.)

The People they're imprisoned with (All the characters who don't label themselves as prisoners in their "Thank You" messages)-

I highlighted where they say prisoners under the cut with a few more fun facts-

Haruka, Futa, Mu, and Kotoko all don't put their names on their thank you messages. Mu only puts her song title on hers in Japanese but she has English lyrics from the song highlighted on their as well. Shidou states that this is Milgram Season 2 before putting the title of his song/contribution then signing his full name like an actor would.

Something when coupled with Jackalopes statement in the second trial commencement notice-

Along with Shidou blatantly stating,

"Please listen to me, Es. I've killed people. Lots of them as well. It was for such a selfish reason too. I'm a fine specimen of what a genuine murderer ought to be."

It's really suspicious and funny to think of the implications behind how he signed his thank you message. Especially since in the same interrogation Es notes,

"In comparison to all the interrogations thus far, this one has been progressing far too smoothly. It feels somewhat unsettling."

All of that is a really interesting thing to think about when put all together. At least I think so.

(Star here though Gunsli assisted me with sorting this out some- I find the idea of Shidou being a mole very amusing. It would recontextualize the fact that he's a doctor within Milgram.

Giving the impression that Shidou's inclusion was more of a failsafe, in the event that something like Kotoko jumping her fellow prisoners occurred. It's incredibly convenient that Milgram happened to incarcerate not just one but two people who seem to understand first aid.

Considering Shidou's statements about Amane,

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: ……Kirisaki Shidou. How long do you plan on continuing this foolish behaviour?

Shidou: I wonder what you might be referring to there. I’m just doing what I need to do. If anything, I’d be happy if you would lend me a hand.

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand?

Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

This idea would also recontextualize his immediate response to the events between trial one and two being to tell Es,

"I think we should put an end to Milgram as a whole. Both for our sake and for yours."

Along with his confusion when Es responds with,

That's impossible.

"Why?!" I can't think of any method of stopping it... or any way to get out. "...!" Milgram won't end just because I want it to. That's all I know. It won't end until your judgment has been completed. That's the crux of it. "Your...the same as us, aren't you?"

Ultimately Shidou recognizes that Es is pretty much in the same position as they are. However, under this framing Shidou would be aware that Milgram is an experiment that can be stopped at any time but not aware of who could stop it or how to himself.

This would give more context to him proposition Es in trial one as well,

During the first trial's proposition being asking for the death sentence off the bat:

"That’s just my personality. I just simply don’t think bad of it—this place, I mean." You mean, Milgram? "Yeah, this place will put me to death." What? "I might not get a golden opportunity like this again, so I’ll get straight to the point. Es… You decide how the prisoners will be dealt with, right?" Yeah. That’s right. "The death penalty is what I’m hoping for. Thank you in advance." I won’t have that. The lot of you can’t decide what your own treatment will be. Only I as the prison guard have the authority to do so. "Exactly. You as the prison guard have the right to do such a thing, Es, so that’s why I’m asking you for this favour."

The "unflappable" attitude that Shidou has here can be read as opportunistic complacency with the idea of him being a mole in mind. This mindset is also alluded to within his MVs, a prime example being where he sits down smiling to himself in Throw Down.

Furthermore, this highlights the progression of his view of Es and how much power they wield within Milgram as a whole. Going from the first presumption of Es having the ability to decide the prisoners' treatment to outright asking them to stop Milgram in trial two. Though, he is swiftly corrected about how much administrative power Es has, as pointed out earlier.

On top of that Shidou is the first of the prisoners to bring up the concept of someone dying due to Milgram and the death penalty at all.

Even going as far as to state,

"Hm… But, this place does smell of the dead though. I’m sure that some sort of death will lie at the end of Milgram."

If Shidou is a mole put into the experiment by Milgram then him asking Es for this could be framed as him raising the stakes. It could even be something management told him to do so the audience would know there was a chance of their actions leading to someone's death. Along with why he's genuinely perturbed when someone else almost dies despite stating he knew some sort of death lied at the end of Milgram from the start.

It's definitely an odd change going from kill to we have to make this violence stop before someone actually dies. Yet, it would make a bit more sense if he thought he was in on the lie but began to find out this was more out of control then he thought. He could still very much be a murderer and they just let him be in on it because he wanted to die anyway so didn't see the harm in using him in this way before he does.

This would also play on this line in Undercover well,

"Even with accusations full of faults and mistakes. You will for sure, with a smile for sure- Be pleased and satisfied."

Because regardless of how this plays out he'd still get what he wanted at the end of the day.

Along with fit the line referring to Shidou too,

"“UNDER” Which way will you throw down your weight? To be the deceived, or the deceiver."

This would also explain why Kazui would refer to Milgram as a prison game in his second voice drama,

"If that happens this prison game would probably come to an end as well." - "So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me?"

I asked @doctorbunny about Kazui's wording here and he said,

He says 監獄ごっこ kangoku gokko kangoku meaning prison and gokko meaning pretend/make believe

The one person known to talk to Shidou the most out of the prisoners and work alongside him. Now what would give him the impression this was all pretend.

Like some sort of a-

20/05/25

Mikoto: ……I’ve really got caught up in some trouble, huh. What even is this place? It’s probably a TV reality show or something. …but to think someone in this day and age would try to do a project that could land them in so much trouble. Uh……

Mahiru: Ah…… I’m Shina Mahiru! You can just call me Mahiru. And you are……?

Mikoto: Kayano Mikoto. I’m fine with just Mikoto too. Ahh, I’m glad there’s someone here who’s easy to talk to…… It’s nice to meet you, Mappy.

Mahiru: ………… ……Mappy???

20/05/31

Mu: Hey, Mikoto-kun, aren’t you scared of this place……? You can’t think of any reason you ended up here, right……?

Mikoto: Ahh, yeah. Of course, it’s not like I’m not scared at all. But just between you and me…… I still haven’t dropped the thought that this could all just be a TV show. I mean, I really haven’t ever murdered anyone. ……and if that is the case, we’re definitely being monitored. For like a prank setup or something. Wouldn’t it be super uncool and embarrassing to get angry or lash and have it shown on prime time?

Mu: Is that what you think……? A prank, huh…… I hope that’s all it is……

Mikoto: Ah! If that is the case, then you’ll probably be super popular since you’re so cute, Mucchan! There’s a lot of girls out there who make their big break coming off reality shows like that!

20/06/15

Mikoto: Hey, it’s kinda a bother having you be so angry and tense all the time. You should stop trying get everyone to pay attention to you. You’re a uni student, right? You can’t act like that once you start working properly.

Futa: Huh!? Shut up. Not like I care what you say. Even though we’re in this shitty situation, you’re just chatting away, it’s stupid. Aren’t you the one who’s acting out of place here? ……also the fact you give everyone nicknames is just gross.

Mikoto: *sigh* It’s more stupid to be taking this all so seriously. I mean, it’s definitely just a reality TV program. There’s no way a real prison exists that’s this lax. Also, I don’t give nicknames to everyone. I don’t give them to young kids like Amane, or to the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san. I mean, I’m not giving you one, right?

Futa: ……oi, which group are you trying to say I am?

Television show or something.)

This was definitely not supposed to be this long but it was interesting going over all of this with Star and I think it's a fun thing to highlight overall.

#milgram

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

I don’t think the harassment is acceptable. I think people are really out of pocket doing that, but I do think him establishing what is and isn’t part of his job is fine. And maybe did need to be said, because clearly people didn’t know.

As for using Buddie as promo… idk. The marketing team is gonna do whatever ABC feels will garner the most viewers, and right now it’s Buck being bi and the long held desire to see him and Eddie become canon. They’re gonna milk it however they can, which falls back on Tim, thus him feelings like he needed to explain himself, presumably.

I do agree it could be toned down though, because Buck is now canonically dating someone else, and I don’t recall them teasing Buddie for real when he was with women. So doing it now the way they are is purely because they’re banking on Buddie fans, while also currently not committing.

Plus, everything Buddie related from before has to now be assumed not canon, so it’s putting everyone in a messy spot. Because we have canon, fanon, show runner confirmed but not on screen, and canon jokes that are now floating in the in between because no one knows if the they’ll be acknowledged in canon or get scrapped.

I think people should just calm down and wait to see what the season brings, anyway. Once it’s over and we get an idea of where all the characters are at, then start asking bigger questions or letting out the more angry frustrations.

Hi! Sorry for the late reply. The sheer amount of work that goes into television hasn't often been well realized in fan spaces. The writing, how it translates to screen, the process of acting, all the work by the crew, the pressures from moneymen, managing the expectations of the audience, the long hours and repetition of scenes. How multiple people working on a creative project means multiple interpretations— all of which bleed through. The showrunner has every right to protect himself and the people who work for him. I was mainly trying to draw on my own experiences in how these harassment campaigns happen, how they continue, and how they can be mitigated.

US TV production has a long and rocky history when it comes to queer narratives. That doesn't really end now that there are canonically queer characters on screen and this fallout is part of the response to that tension.

For example, if I engage in the whole Buddie vs. Bucktommy thing (sorry), I'd say both perspectives have a point they don't realize they're making about queerness in television storytelling.

The thesis I feel like Buddie fans are making is there are two queer coded main characters who love each other, who have seasons of build up in their individual characters and in their relationship. Why can't they be together? Because they're two male main characters on network television? Be bold, be brave. Wouldn't it be amazing if they did commit to that story? Wouldn't it be game changing? Sexuality and friendship and love is not set in stone, it's okay to be flexible. M/F relationships are allowed that space to develop within a story and you know if one of them were a woman they probably would be together already.

The thesis I feel like BuckTommy fans are making is that Buddie was never going to happen, realistically, and it's amazing enough that they committed to Buck being canonically bisexual. Why do you want to rock the boat? Don't you see that if you can't embrace this development it could be snatched away at any moment. The show is its own thing within its own context and not the blinkered interpretation you have of two characters. This queerness is canon.

Those two thesis's (thesi?) are rubbing up against each other and building straw men of the other to attack and tear down. A showrunner wading in was only ever going to combust that tension further and that's what happened. What keeps happening.

#911 #911 show #buddie #bucktommy #queerness in television #queerness in media #I'll always have a problem with the idea that queer characters and narrative development is a treat i get for being a good dog #but i understand the fear of the fickleness within the entertainment industry #and obviously people take their frustrations to the extreme and harm others #though i don't think that's the majority of people in a fandom space #it can just occasionally feel like it