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#working on the selfship blog is just like. okay i will work on this after this semester. okay i will work on this after artfight prep.

echoes-lighthouse · 3 months

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👀🏥 for Val?

Thank you so much!! And these are such fun questions for this specific selfship heheheh >:3

(dark/unconventional selfship asks, I pulled these out for my new Hazbin/Helluva selfships!!! <3)

👀 Is there anything about your selfship that you’re nervous to explore, whether for personal reasons or because of public perception?

Honestly?? Not really. I held the selfship for a while, because I wanted to make sure I knew the dynamic before I went public. There are some selfships that I'm okay figuring out on the fly, but I didn't want Valentino on my blog until I knew what the fuck I was doing with him. That way I can trigger tag accordingly and people don't have to worry about unexpected things down the line, y'know?

But yeah, I feel like just including Val in a selfship was kind of the hesitation: after that, it's all smooth sailing, I can do literally anything.

🏥 Is one of you fixing the other or making the other worse?

I was literally turning this question over in my head for almost a full day at work. In the canon/current space of the selfship, I don't think that we have much influence on each other at all: we're just two people who are sharing space and hobbies, we're not that important to each other in the grand scheme of our 'lives'.

And then I was trying to think... I feel like I eventually want to do something with Valentino, because I think my selfship with Vox is moving to something more intense and I want them to move in tandem, but I surely can't fix Valentino??? Right??

BUT I realized, I think the only "fixing" that I'd be interested in doing, the ULTIMATE development for me and Valentino? Would be that he snaps and breaks our contract at some point. He's just too fucking angry in the moment to remember why it's an astronomically bad idea, and boom, baby, I've got him on a permanent leash. Poor little thing.

(context: my self-insert signs contracts with all of their clientele that if either of them ignores a safeword, then the perpetrator's soul is forfeit to the other person. It's a clause that ensures the safety of both people in the scene, and no one has ever broken it before)

#okay i just got a lot more excited about this ship realizing that's the endgame #oh that's going to fuck up all of the power structures so badly #what an exciting thought #rip my partner just called me the yoko ono of the Vees #i'm cackling thank you baby #digital poison #source: hazbin hotel #my selfships #ask games

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my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda · 3 months

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Kind of a drabble about adding Miu to my romantic f/os

I've never been so indecisive about adding a (romantic) f/o.

like. I even used to selfship with Wario (even though I never blogged about it. that was one of my earliest selfships).

but...

like...

nggh! on the one hand, Miu is mean, and gross. on the other hand, she's lonely and self-destructive, and I want to make sure she's alright. she's already our friend that we check up on a lot, and got Mikan and Shuichi and Kaede to check up on her too, and we all ended up peer pressuring her to stop turning to drugs or other self-destructive tendencies because she couldn't stop picturing our "sad little faces" (I was touched when Kaz told me she said that. I hadn't asked her to stop doing drugs, the topic makes me feel too awkward, but the others had and I guess with how worried we all were about her, it made her want to work on herself.) But she still seems lonely, and also jealous of a lot of her friends dating each other, especially me and Kaz and Tenko.

so uh, maybe we could fix her with kisses.

(or maybe she'd make us worse? lol)

also, the chaotic potential of adding Miu to the group is hilarious. (in hindsight, the anon that asked me about adding Toko to the group was almost prophesizing 👀).

I've...already got headcanons for her with our kids... I think I trapped myself with this...

like, of all the things to push me to this brink...

(this is so random) have you ever seen Defunctland: The Awful Wiggles Dark Ride?

I found myself thinking about me, Kaz, and Tenko bringing our three kids when they're all still little on this ride (let's pretend it's still in operation, or maybe it got abandoned but it's still there and Kazuichi could get it in working order. So could Miu tbh.)

I couldn't picture us riding this without Miu there as well. We would all enjoy it, mostly because of the kids (I feel like Miu would have the most childlike wonder about it and Kazuichi would still be rambling about the technical stuff an hour later. Especially if it was the broken version where the tvs or rooms would be on/off at the wrong times. Tenko would be the least likely to enjoy the ride itself (which is like me as well, but I've at least got a little nostalgia for the Wiggles), but she's got an excited toddler bouncing on her lap, so she's pretty focused on that.

So after imagining that, I ended up coming up with headcanons about Miu with our kids.

When the first baby (Ren) is born, Miu is the clingiest out of all of us to this baby and keeps saying they're "the spittin' image of me!" (meaning herself). This is false, the baby's bio parents are me and Kaz and they very much look like a combination of us two. Still, we know this is Miu's way of saying she adores this baby. We're not worried about her being unhealthily attached though; she's still pretty busy with invention ideas and always hands the baby back to one of us when she needs to go work on those, or when we ask her to (but only me, Kaz, and Tenko. She glares at anyone else who asks to hold the baby, lol.)

(Pregnancy, and specifically fictional trans woman pregnancy mentioned in next paragraph. Not sure if anyone needs that as a trigger warning, but just in case. I know pregnancy in general can bring up complicated feelings for people).

I was pregnant with the first baby and picked out the name Ren (who later came out as nonbinary). Tenko was pregnant with the second baby, a girl, and picked out the name Aimi. Miu was able to transfer the third pregnancy to herself and become one of the first pregnant trans women in the world (I feel like it is pretty in-character for her to not only try this but end up being successful. Let me dream okay?) She also had a baby girl. We all asked Miu first if she had a name in mind, but Miu didn't want to pick a name and likes most of the names we suggest anyway. Kazuichi picked the name Yoshi. So our kids are Ren, Aimi, and Yoshi.

Not sure when/if I'll draw fanart and write stories for all of this (maybe the Wiggles car ride though), I feel weird about selfshipping with Miu and Tenko even though I'm still writing the fanfic about just me and Kaz (and that fanfic will definitely take a while). But I'm holding myself to ridiculous standards. I can ship with them just because. I also worry about being unfair by focusing on Kazuichi the most, but I know it's okay to have a main f/o.

#selfship #self ship #miu iruma #kazuichi soda #kazuichi souda #tenko chabashira #aka ''how the wiggles dark ride made my selfship polycule weirder''#we're still kind of a closed polycule we just. open the door for emotionally-dysregulated neurodivergent hot girls apparently xD #together we combine our powers to create one or two functional adults or we're like. four squawking birds pointing in different directions #the idea of the parents outnumbering the kids though. unless Miu adopts the monokubs I guess but. I don't like most of them lol #monot*ro and monod*m can stay if they behave. maybe.

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lem-argentum · 7 months

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hello here is THE official overview of all lemmy argentum selfship aus (or the ones that came to mind at this moment). <3

COSDOUGMEG

doug & meg actually have the least amount of aus out of these f/os, because i almost always imagine them in either their original universe or real life with me! but there is one that’s developed <3

-castle cr.ashers. it is hit hack-and-slash game castle cr.ashers. i take the place of red knight and meg takes the place of the blue princess. we’re together before the plot starts and they avoid getting kidnapped so we go through everything together <3. eventually we meet doug who has the role of the conehead groom, we defeat him and he begrudgingly joins us, we have an enemies-to-lovers journey, the end <3. i’m very fond of this silly au because doug is very cute when you put her in a situation like this :) also cosmeg adventures!!!!!! <333

LEMPROM

we have some!!! our dynamic/development are similar in most of them, it’s mostly messing with the world/circumstances where we meet :) <3

-ff.xv plotless au. this is the main lemprom universe actually. basically all of The Tragedy doesn’t happen because it would BREAK. MY HEART.!!!!!! it’s my fun self-indulgent universe where no one is in immediate peril <3.

-ff.ix au!!!!!!!!!! NOT developed but you can probably tell from my blog that i love combining prom and ff.ix (my icon is him in a colorswapped vivi outfit :>) SO <3. i just think “i wish to be kidnapped right away.” “wh-!! okay!!!” is the PERFECT dynamic introduction so prom takes zidane’s general role and i take dagger’s. <3 :) i like thinking about prom in a tantalus-type group because he’d be a really fun dramatic actor and a very cute thief (“well i guess it’s a good thing *somebody* got the keys to the whole fortress ;)” <- ONE OF MY FAVORITE LINES) <3 i don’t know how the whole story goes but i just love the concept so <333.

-p.okemon :] <3. this one’s also just a concept. i’m a trainer and prom works at a daycare. he has a doduo and a rotom, i have an ampharos and a mime jr. <3 (i’d have to channel old pkmn knowledge to think of full teams but those are the main ones.)

-OH YEAH college au. prom’s a photography major, i’m an illustration major, we meet through art classes and meet up to work on things together and model/pose for each other and ahmfndmfkd <3333. i have a scene pre-relationship where i visit prom’s dorm and go “:0 is that…. a picture of me on your corkboard??” and he has to be like “UH . WELL, THE LIGHTING IN THAT ONE WAS NICE, SO—” HFNDJ <333

CHRENO

SIGH this is gonna be the longest section. since they’re on opposing sides in their og ff.vii universe there are a lot of complexities that come with it, and the aus are mostly playing around with that by getting rid of that element completely……..

-turk!chrome au. this one’s kind of simple it just means they work together instead of against each other, and also the number of possible scenarios goes up a lot because of the close proximity. ciss.nei is also present in this au and her n chrome are both turk partners and qpps!!!!!

-octo.path 2. INITIALLY in this au chrome n reno were both thieves (chrome being dancer class who was also story-wise a thief, reno being actual thief class) who because of Unlikely Situations ended up being traveling partners, but THEN i realized HEY. WHY DIDNT I MAKE RENO A BLACKSNAKE. so he’s a blacksnake now. i don’t know why i didn’t think of that he’z literally a new delsta guy. and there are jester npcs in new delsta!!! so chrome can fit in pretty well without having to change much about him. i really like the vibe of this one but parts of it give me emotionz . you get it. moving on,

-i did think of a b.aldur’s gate 3 au. i guess it’s similar to the scrapped octo.path one.. they’re both rogues (chrome arcane trickster, reno assassin), meet after the tadpole debacle and decide trying to cure it together is the best option. (it might be in-character for reno to be like Eh. if i die i die *walks off alone* but i’m not lettinf him do that they’re doing this together somehow. maybe when they do the tadpole mind-connect thing he sees something interesting from chrome’s past and is like hmmm. i dunno.) this one is mostly for funny dnd moments (they’re my comedy ship after all.) such as chrome being like “uh no i don’t trust you to disarm that i’ll do it.” n reno being like “you sure?” and then chrome crit-failing and them standing there in silence with the blinded status effect. (“…see, i knew that was gonna h-” “don’t say anything.”)

-HFNDJ I JUST REMEMBERED I MADE THEM A GHOST TR.ICK AU. I DONT REMEMBER THE DEAL WITH IT HOLD ON. it was like . chrome died and became a ghost like s.issel……. and found reno dead too, used his ghost tricks to save him and ended up helping him with his shady real life work stuff …… ? it conflicts with regular chrome’s morals but if you mess with it the concept is really fun. ghost partner in crime. mind communication shenanigans. i wanted to draw fake screenshots for them in the art style hfndj i should do that sometime.

-oh i do have a rune f.actory au for them i guess. just in concept though <3. i can’t think of??? many canon rf charas that act similar to reno?? but he would have leon-esque dialogue humor-wise (AGH). and if chrome is the protag, giving him supposed “disliked items” does nothing because he just thinks it’s funny. game mechanic where you CANNOT lower this guy’s affection . i don’t think he would be affiliated with the sechs empire but he would have something mysterious like that going on… and he wouldn’t say much about himself so maybe his heart points would be capped lower ‘til a certain point like doug’s are??? and he wouldn’t tell you what gifts he likes either. there’d be a dialogue branch like “so what do you like, then. :/” “where’s the fun in that? try figuring it out.” and then his reactions to gifts onward would change based on that. (“really? thought you knew me better than that.”) (“hey, you’re gettin’ warmer!”) (“you’re puttin’ a lot of effort into this game. almost like you *care* about givin’ me shit.” “UH, *NO—*”)

#lem text #lem ramblings #🍂 ruby rings <3 #🎼 prelude to love <3 #📸 gold and bones <3 #🔌#🎪 (s/i)#MY SILLY UNIVERSES. <3 #THERE ARE MORE BUT I SHOULD GO TO SLEEP. GOODNIGHT BOWS. I DONT KNOW THAT ONE CHARACTER

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children-of-the-muse · 2 years

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;O; FINALLY, WE HAVE FINISHED THIS THING AFTER A YEAR AND A HALF AND CAN POST IT AT LONG LAST. We actually drafted this to the wrong blog at first and accidentally nuked the entire image description in trying to fix it.

So here she is, the Fog's Resident Teenage Pain In the Arse, a chav through-and-through, Magda 'Mags' Bishop--our Survivor OC and the real Mags's Self-Insert (and for our friends in the selfship community, yes, she does have a ship, a temporary one with Jonathan and an endgame with Quentin).

She does have a matched Killer, George Milo AKA the Defiler, but we have not drawn him or figured out his Power yet. They'd have come into the Fog directly before the Descend Beyond chapter. I haven't worked out a name, but I do know that they'd have come with a new map as well; Coburg Dock in Liverpool (the Steam achievement would be called 'Dockmaster', and it would be to repair the generator in the Tower House and escape). Backstory and Perks under the cut!

Magda 'Mags' Bishop grew up on Coburg Dock in the dreary town of Liverpool, England, following her mother and sister from one bad situation to the next. Between school, near-poverty, and the fact that everyone around her seemed to tolerate her at best and downright hate her at worst, even the adults who were supposed to care about her, she didn't really have much to be happy about. This wasn't helped when she was abducted from the neighbours' front yard by a serial child predator at the age of seven. While she was found and seemed more or less okay, successfully testifying against him and putting him in prison for his crimes, she began to struggle with anger management issues as she got older. She would get into physical fights with classmates who bullied her and react violently to being touched without warning or permission. Whether this was the result of her assault or the result of the abuse she was enduring at home, no one could tell (or wanted to acknowledge).

Eventually, she met a group of friends like her who both shared and encouraged her contrarian tendencies, and together they got into more trouble than she had ever managed on her own. The police had dragged her home to her mother more times than she could count, but the more she was punished, the more she lashed out and the less time she spent at home. One day, she turned up missing after a night out. While the police tried initially to track her down, her friends didn’t know where she had gone after leaving them, and as they had few other leads her case went cold before long. Most people just assumed that she had finally run off.

Perks

Difficulty: Intermediate A teenage Hell-raiser, with a knack for getting out of trouble as easily as she gets into it. Her personal perks, Lamp 'Em One, Destructive Disposition, and Come On, Then!, allow her to run interference by stunning the Killer, creating new escape routes, and distracting the Killer by making herself a target.

Lamp 'Em One You may be small, but your nerve and adrenaline make up for your size, especially if your friends are in danger. -Press the Active Ability button when standing within 1 metre of the Killer to throw a punch for a 75% chance to stun the Killer for 5 seconds. 10% increased chance if the Killer is transporting a Survivor. -120/110/100 second cooldown. -A successful stun will result in you becoming afflicted with the Exposed status effect for 60 seconds. -You become the Obsession. 'You wanna mess with my mates, you gotta contend with me.'

Destructive Disposition Years of teenage rebellion and nighttime stunts have given you a knack for property damage. -Allows you to destroy breakable walls within the environment. (Creates a loud noise notification for the Killer.) -Increases your sabotage speed by 25%. -Sabotaged hooks take 15/20/25 seconds longer to regenerate. -60 second cooldown upon breaking a wall or sabotaging a hook. -10% increased skill check difficulty when repairing generators. 'Try and eat us now, you spidery bitch. Eat THIS!'

Come On, Then! You're used to being targeted by those who've got it in for you. You've learned to use it to your advantage. -When not performing an action or in a chase for 30 seconds, your aura lights up to the Killer, alerting them to your location. -Gain a 2/5/10% Haste status effect. -Increased chance of being the Killer's Obsession. 'Come and get me, you knifey bastard!'

#dead by daylight #dead by daylight oc #dead by daylight survivor #dbd #dbd oc #dbd survivor #self insert #original #photo post #magda bishop #new delivery #bishop does the draw #noai

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angelkittycore · 1 month

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me when i lie.

i dont even care that fucking much, forgot you had ever sent me a selfie, i do not "go nuclear" and your rsd is on you to control. we already had a discussion about that event where i did in fact apologize, multiple fucking times. also i softblocked you because you accused me of lying about being your friend and doing shit on purpose and i decided i didn't want to be in contact anymore.

if anything i'm more scared of YOU doing something weird with MY selfie bc you're an unreliable narrator and are emotionally unstable.

if i "drained" you so much then why didn't you cut me off beforehand.

you just wanted to use me as validation bait. whereas i wanted an actual friend.

n the only reason i approached you about the er*sermic stuff was because you were being extremely vitriloic towards the other character, the ship itself, and the fandom. and i was worried that it would ruin our friendship and blow up badly if you knew that outside of selfship that i liked the pairing. (which again, didn't know you added it to your dni bc i followed back when you selfshipped with the villain.) i trusted you to be mature and you weren't.

i wasn't even saying that i didn't support your se.lfship, bc i do, even if i think your understanding of your f.o is rife with mischaracterization. just trying to essentially say "hey i enjoy this pairing when i go out of my way to engage in fandom media related to the source, i hope that's okay."

you could've just been like "i'd prefer you don't talk to me about that" or "i think i want you to unfollow" instead of trying to go after me with shit that triggers ME. you didn't think about how your words could affect me, whereas i was very aware that there was a high chance of upsetting you, but i wanted to be open and honest because i value that in friendships. i do not play mindgames with people, and i do not like it when people try to play mindgames with me. if i am upfront about something its because its very serious and matters a lot, and i'd rather discuss it civilly than having it bottled up to the point of explosion. again, i thought you'd be mature enough to realize this.

i valued you as a friend despite our rough moment(s) and believed we could work through it come to a compromise. i was mistaken. i should not have trusted you with this blog, my selfie, or anything else.

as i said before in a now deleted post i do not think basing your attraction to your f/o on who many people follow you or validate you is healthy. it weirds me out, i do not want to be a part of that, and you are not much better than haven so i find it mildly ironic that you dislike them too.

please focus on your mental health instead of misunderstood happenings and statements about such which can be easily unproven if i so much as wanted to unblock you and peek at our dms.

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sunrisesunsetter · 3 months

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HELLO selfship tumblr!!

I’m very nervous about posting this, but after a long time lurking the tags I’ve decided to make a new blog and test the waters

I’m not new to self shipping but I’m new to this community, it’s great to see so many people here! I’m an artist so I hope to draw me and my silly guy, and maybe even some of you all and your f/os 👉🏻👈🏻

I hope we can become moots and friends, so interacts would be very appreciated ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

👑 About Me ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 🏐

- Mads / Maddie !!

- 21 She/Her Neurodivergent

- Virgo isfp 6w5

- SFW blog! 👍🏻

My name is Maddie and I self ship with Tōru Oikawa :0) I’ve had this goofus f/o’d since I was barely a teenager and he’s the only one I’ve got. It’s honestly been very silly to grow up with him so expect all sorts of antics.

If you f/o him romantically pleeeease DNI i’m so sorry I’m just very silly about him and it might bum me out (no hard feelings GL to you both!!)

If you f/o him platonically or familially PLEASE interact so we can all be silly together oh my god that’s like the dream

I’m in a whole bunch of fandoms too, Star Wars is my main hyperfixation so if you f/o someone from there especially I would be thrilled to follow you!!

Pr0ship/C0mship/T3rfs/Zi0nists — The usual DNI suspects! Go away ⚠️⚠️ (I’m throwing tomatoes at you)

S/I: Madeline Nakayama (Neé Winslow)

Pre-Timeskip Design (2012ish)

I’m currently working on making a Toyhouse mostly for convience sake so you can all know more about me!

Post-timeskip (present day):

..I’m working on it okay i’m very indecisive 😭💀

Tags to know!

#maddie talks : i ramble about dumb things

#on the fridge : a tag that basically means “this is so incredible it’s going up on my metaphorical fridge”

#👑🏐 : Tōru tag!

#The set to my heart ⋆˙⟡♡ : Ship tag!!

#real : posts that are relatable and make me giggle

#self ship #self shipping #self ship art #self ship intro #dividers by the very lovely saradika #why is this so nerve wracking my ass is sobbing

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hanmine · 3 years

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🎉 NEW GAME: Introduce your mutuals to everyone and what do you think of them? 🎉

okay deep breath this is gonna take a minute damn

*disclaimer that i have a lot of moots and i can’t include all i’m sorry i love you all pls don’t be sad 😭*

@rindouphiliac RIS MY LOVE literally is my (real) boyfriend and ID KILL ANYONE THAT STARES TOO LONG like ris is mine if that wasn’t clear and i love love love would literally break up with hanma in a split second to marry ris

@maitani mich is the inspiration to every clap back to snarky anons on my page BUT ALSO she is too funny ong makes me cackle LMAO we get so heated together over the pettiest shit and also she comes up with genius ideas and i take her genius ideas and boom it all works in the end thanks to her so everyone go to mich for genius ideas except she’s not helping you bc you’re ugly and she only helps me so yeah

@kisakunt i see blair all the time bc they’re kisaki’s and i’m hanma’s and it’s unavoidable 🙄 but i’m glad blair got me into my gatekeeping agenda bc it’s liberating and thrilling and also they’re so funny and have a story for everything i kid you not this bitch got some crazy experience for every topic of convo never a dull moment with this one

@mitsuyahh is one of my first friends on tumblr ever and i love cypher so much like so much literally can say anything and she always either pick my side immediately or say something out of pocket and i love telling all my 3 am fic ideas that i’ll probably never write

@8kh hunter wrote the first haikyuu series i ever read and we all know i have a sakusa obsession well guess what their series was also the first sakusa series i read and it’s part of the catapult to my deep and canon love for him literally was like :O when i realized we were moots and is the talented moot that could literally be a novelist i just sit there like 😯😧🤭 every time they post

@mqtsuno chi is baji’s and chifuyus’s 🤚🏽and she claimed a whole drabble that i wrote for her anyway ?? i didn’t even know it at the time but i was like hmm this is for someone and i can’t put my finger on it and now i know and that’s some soulmate stuff right there

@mtsuyas mika is so hot and sweet and her selfship name is so cute like are u serious ?? mikuya ?? it’s an L that shutee can’t be that cute LMAO and rip teenma that was horrid too

@titsuya one of my first moots on my other secret blog ;) AND I LOVE SAR SO MUCH HELLO !?? so hot and we are texas buddies even though sar doesn’t rly like texas LMAO and i would like to give her a big forehead kiss so bad

@miykui waka’s princess 🤚🏽but also the sweetest ever romi baby ily mwah will think of them whenever i write for him bc that is his lover no questions comments concerns please and thank you

@fuenn SO SO LOVELY AND TALENTED omg i rmr fuenn entering my 5k event for a kita drabble as the first time we spoke and drew me a lil oikawa and kuroo doodle AND ALSO GIFTED ME A SAKUSA SELF SHIP ART AND IS SO TALENTED WHAT like blew my mind i love fuenn so so much

@chimielie omgggg lia is such a good writer like first of all i have actually gushed about her writing with like four different moots on multiple occasions like everyone can disagree on a lot of things but one thing we can agree on is that she writes sooo well and also sees me act a fool on dash all the time but still acts like i’m sane in the head and i appreciate that greatly

@luvbub BUB MY SWEET ANGEL omg i was a fan of bub when i was new to the fandom in haikyuu, lost her blog, later found her blog again after i had my own writing blog, followed her, proceeded to get followed back, and had a heart attack. also watches me act a fool on dash and sees me be a snappy little snark and picks my side every time even 😭 bubashi and bubtsuya for the win

@kairakeiji CALISTA ANOTHER SWEET ANGEL so cute >:( and now she writes for tr and i’m so excited bc she’s so talented and she stole hanma’s place so now it’s calistee for life so yeah rip hanma

@solarchuu OTHER TEE AND THATS SO COOL THAT WE’RE BOTH TEE and they’re soooo sweet and i love so much would kill for tee always make me smile on dash and always says the sweetest things and makes me laugh and if no one else loves me tee will love tee so tee x tee literally tee squared or tee^2 or tee the power of two

@kr3idz and @takemittchy MIMA AND CECI my cinnamon rolls i miss them :( we bonded over our love for nanami and then we rode out our haikyuu phases together and entered tokrev phases and i love love love them so much always make me smile on discord mwah cutest cinnamon rolls ever

#i think i covered just about all the ones i speak to or see on dash a lot 😭#just know if you’re not on here you’re still so sexc

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imagine-your-love-story · 3 years

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Thank you for encouraging a safe space on Tumblr. It might seem like basic courtesy to leave people be, leave them their comfort and creative freedom, but apparently it's not. As someone who has very questionable self ship poly dynamics, it's.. nice not being scared of seeing "Don't interact if this- dont interact if that" and then in danger of harrassment.

Please keep spreading these vibes of comfort and love - you're a great person whom we need a lot more of in the world wide web

You're very welcome, lovely! :) :) :)

Hoo boy. I have...soooo many thoughts on like....ALL of this. And this post is gonna get LONG because I've opened the can of worms and I'm lettin' it all out :P

The amount of bullying and negativity I've seen in the selfshipping community lately is very painful and disappointing to watch. Tumblr and fandom has always been somewhat of a cesspool but I had hoped that selfshipping was a little better.

I'm not seeing a positive community on a large scale right now.

There are some people who are shining little stars out there of course! But there's more hate being spread around than I can stomach.

I've spent Y E A R S researching and unlearning and pushing back against the psychological and emotional effects of manipulative behaviors like: blame, guilt, shame, and harassment.

I absolutely 100000% believe you can speak to people civilly and state your reasons why you think their behavior is damaging. Without telling them, "You are wrong. You are a bad person." Or otherwise making them feel shitty about themselves.

And I also believe that you CAN allow that person to say, "I don't agree with what you're saying" and you can still have normal interactions with that person without immediately shunning them and labeling them as a terrible person.

People BLOSSOM when they are showered in love, acceptance, and understanding. People are MUCH more willing to listen and heed what you have to say when you give them SPACE to see your point of view (or disagree with you and still accept them).

This culture on social media where people jump STRAIGHT to, "You're a HORRIBLE person because you do something I disagree with!" is, frankly, horrifying and a little disgusting.

Does this mean I condone negative and damaging behaviors?

No. Absolutely not.

But there seems to be this loss of perspective on what is considered "negative and damaging behaviors".

1. It's fiction. Fiction has NEVER been "clean". It's a place of freedom to discuss EVERYTHING.

2. You don't have to feel comfortable with everything being discussed in fiction. I'm not. If I don't like a self-shipper's content because it hits some trigger buttons for me...I don't follow their blog. Because that's my boundary and I have every right to it.

Do I send them messages saying, "You're a toxic person!"

Nope.

Do I comment on their ship that they love and say, "This makes me uncomfortable!"

Nope.

It's not my business.

Also: it’s fiction and there are MUCH bigger problems that require my energy than whether or not I should correct someone’s fictional ship.

Go save the ocean.

Go save the rainforest.

Go save the planet you live and breath on.

Fiction should not be making you angry enough to send hate mail to someone else. Full stop. That should never ever be a priority.

3. Some people engage in selfshipping "negative behaviors" as a way to cope with their trauma. We have no idea what a person has been through and we have no right to tell them that they should stop what they're doing when we do not know where they are on their journey of healing.

It hurts my heart so, so much when I receive messages from selfshippers like you, dear anon, who are TERRIFIED to share their love stories with their characters because they're afraid of being labeled/attacked/harassed by the community.

That's the community letting you down. That should NOT be happening and I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, lovely.

The ENTIRE point of selfshipping was to ESCAPE the people who criticized for shipping yourself with a character that you love. The foundation of selfshipping is that ANYTHING is possible!!! You are limitless!!!

And now people are policing what you can do??? That's...that completely obliterates the point of selfshipping. That's WHY we escaped to our own community!

I don't know if this video is available outside of the U.S., but I highly recommend, the Crappy Childhood Fairy's Youtube video on Cancel Culture. It's a great listen when you're navigating the emotional turmoil of social media culture.

So, if you're still reading after ALL OF THAT :P here are some key points about this blog and my philosophy when it comes to selfshipping:

This blog will always be a judgment free zone

Of course I have opinions! Of course we may disagree on something! But I won't judge you for it. You're allowed to do your own thang! ;)

I will never have a DNI.

If I feel an interaction is crossing into territory that isn't appropriate or acceptable, I'll say so. And if that doesn't work, I'll block and report. But I will never have a DNI on this blog.

Yes, I am an adult. So if minors don't feel comfortable following my blog, it's okay if they don't! I understand!

But I don't have a problem talking with minors because they are human beings and they may need support. I worked in Youth Services at a library for over two years. I know sometimes kids just want someone to talk about cool books and movies with and I'm 100% down for that 24/7 :)

Because this blog is all-ages friendly, I will never post 18+ content because - just like IRL - I make sure that I am mindful of the people around me. I may post some suggestive content that is tagged, but I try not to get too explicit.

I also don’t really think a DNI is necessary for me personally. Of course if I feel threatened by someone, I won’t interact with that person. But if a shipper is into content that I don’t like???? I don’t feel the need to say, “I will never interact with you!” That’s....exhausting. Besides, there are plenty of other things we can chat about! :)

I will always share f/os.

I know some people don't like to share and that's their boundary they can draw if they want to (no shade here!), but I've found that if I don't share, it's a very lonely experience. So I always share and I’m happy to interact if we have the same f/o :)

DMs are always open if you need a shoulder to lean on

If you need to dump or vent or whatever, my DMs will always be open so you can chat! It can feel weird, and maybe you'll feel bad because you won't know what to say!!!

That's okay :)

Even if all you want to do is vent and never reply, I'm happy to listen and offer any words of encouragement and support you need to hear! :)

#asks #anonymous #penny chats #i hope that monster of a response was helpful! :P #edit: LOL i just watched my follower count PLUMMET after posting this #don't care #i said what i said #i'm gonna keep spreadin' love around!!! :D

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laceymorganwrites · 3 years

Text

back from hiatus: announcements and changes

hello everyone! Thank you so much for your patience while I was gone (I see we´ve grown a bit which always is amazing^^). The break really was needed and I´m glad to be back now. But since I don´t want things to stay as depressing and lonely as they have been I have made a few changes. But first:

Announcements:

- Halloween event

I have been planning this for a long time and have started writing for it in my break, I just hope I´ll be done in time. Last year I did an Inarizaki hell AU which was a lot of fun. But this year I decided to post 7 writings about a few different fandoms and characters. There will be 5 oneshots and 2 headcanon posts in the week leading up to Halloween. I will try to post daily from the 25th to the 31st of October.

- Prompt event

oh wow, I think I wanted to do this event when we reached 2k. Now we´re at 2.5k xD but hey better late than never. I collected those prompts for a few months now and the list will not only be for the event but also forever. So if after the event you want to request some of them, go ahead!! The tag will simply be: prompt list.

The askbox for the event will be open for the whole month of October, that said, it´ll only be open for the event since I´m also working on other things and it would simply be too much otherwise.

So, I´ll collect the prompt requests throughout October and post them in December, giving me enough time to hopefully finish them all.

Changes:

- self ship content

I´ve been thinking about this a lot and I have been doing self ship content in the past as well but I always was scared of getting shit for it, I know some people feel uncomfortable when looking at selfship content because so do I. But it gives me comfort and I want to try it out

- finding friends

I have complained about this a lot in the past but really, this blog is so dead and I feel so lonely on here. So, I want you to know that my askbox is always open for conversation, you can tell me everything and anything, I don´t care. Same goes for dms, don´t be scared to dm me. And you can even connect with each other: just write a little bit about yourself in my askbox, like an announcement in the paper, and you´ll find someone who´s interested in being your friend^^ I would really love for this to work because it´s such a cute idea

- collabs

I want to find new writer friends again so if you write do hmu for future projects^^

- Love letters

those are just little drabbles that are based on random prompts I find, this is basically just an opportunity for me to rant about characters I love but don´t have any ideas for^^

- new fandoms

I will write for some Chainsaw Man characters^^ (Aki, Angel, Denji, Power, Quanxi, Kishibe) I am willing to try other characters too except for Makima since I absolutely hate her guts.

I am writing for Bungo Stray Dogs again as I caught up with the manga. I won´t write for Dazai and Fyodor

Owari No Seraph is added to my fandom list as well, I´ll let you know when I catch up with the manga but I won´t write for Krul and Guren^^

I will also write for Run with the wind

So....I haven´t finished a lot during this hiatus but that´s okay since I really needed the break. Uni is starting again soon and I´m definitely focusing more on my life now so content will be more slow now (which ultimately will be better for my mental health since I definitely overworked myself in the past). Um yeah...I´m back ?? I´ll post the prompt list for the event tomorrow, as stated above you can already start requesting things, the things I manage to finish and am inspired by will be posted in December.

anyways~ glad to be back^^

#back from the dead

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missallsundaes · 3 years

Note

And allow me to ask about your selfships in flowers now, iris and zinnia

Both of these have a little bit diff answers to the rest.

Iris - Does your self insert for your f/os source material have a detailed and complex story and character arc, or are they just kind of vibing?

EVENTUALLY I will need to do a self ship post I can link too, because I have a different self insert for each of my top threes. The SIMPLE answer is they all have detailed backstories. The detailed answer I'll put under a cut at the bottom of this post.

Zinnia - how often do you think about your f/o? Do they live in your head rent free, or do you not think about them for months on end before suddenly hyperfixating on them nonstop for a week?

; w ; I feel like you've seen my blog, I never stop thinking about my boys. Sanji and Corazon occupy the most of my brain, but if I see Buggy I get emotional over him too.

OKAY SO HERE I GO about my self inserts. All three are me in personality, interests, and talents. All three have pink hair and green eyes, and glasses.

My s/i Ace x Sanji is an art historian from the South Blue.

They were traveling on a ship that was transporting priceless paintings from one island to another for an exhibition, when the ship was attacked by pirates after the artwork to sell for the Beri it would get them. They were one of only a couple of survivors of this attack, getting away on a scrap of wood that was floating that they managed to scramble on top of. They were rescued by the Straw Hats. This fits in canon timeline between Little Garden and Drum. They fall for Sanji very quickly, despite his bad habits, infatuated with his flirty nature and constant compliments. Despite Nami's warnings that he was like that with "all women," after they come out as nonbinary to Sanji during a heart to heart, he still treats them with the love and affection that made them fall for him. They bond while cooking together, taste testing each other's food and experimenting with new recipes at dinner for the crew. Make quick best friends with Usopp over mutual loves for drawing, plants, bugs, and being snipers. (They are trained in archery.) Jinbei reminds them of their late father, and they quickly get very attracted to the Fishman, looking up to him and asking him for guidance often. Other best friend is Robin, they bond over art history and how it related to archeology, she helps teach them to read poneglyphs so they can help her. [[Sometimes trio ship with Usopp bc I also love Usopp and Sanuso is my otp]]

My s/i Ace x Corazon is a Selkie from the North Blue. This OC is Canon Divergent

Info on Selkies (mostly based on Real World Mythos, but some tweaking done for OP Universe)

Legends Say that a man who finds a selkie for a wife are blessed with a beautiful obedient wife. At least that’s the human version of the tale. In the selkie world, it is a warning, a cautionary tale: never be caught by a human man, lest you have your coat stolen and never return to the sea. Selkies are generally only found in the farthest north points of the North Blue, where seals are abundant. True to legends, Selkies can shift between human and seal form with the use of their coats or seal skins. Selkies are thought to be rarer than mermaids, but due to the nature of their transformation, true numbers are unknown outside the community. When a selkie has her skin stolen she has a compulsion to marry the person who stole it, usually with discomfort to the selkie. If her coat is willingly given to a man, it must be willingly given back. Selkies sometimes bare children to the man they marry, but when they find the hiding place of their coat they will abandon these children to return to the sea. Some legends say that these children are sometimes visited or saved by large seals later in their lives. When selkies first transform, their coat is the clothes they are wearing, so they are naked until clothed in the human fashion.

My self insert specifically!

In seal form, they are a harp seal, dusty grey with dark spots. In human form they have long dusty pink hair and deep dark green eyes, large like a seals. Their coat takes the form of a fluffy winter coat, with the same colors as their seal skin. When they are wearing their coat, it works similar to a zoan fruit, they can transform by choice, and can do a hybrid form (similar to a mermaid) as well. Not trained in any particular fighting style, they're not much use in a battle, but they know basic first aid and are a good support to a team. They witnessed the murder of Corazon by Doffy (and prior, saw Law being placed in the treasure chest). //Canon Divergent// When Doffy leaves the island, leaving Corazon dying in the snow, They nurse him back to health slowly, giving him their coat to keep warm so that he doesn't freeze to death, and builds a small fire to keep him alive. When he comes to, they help him move inside the partially destroyed building. He gives her coat back willingly after explaining to him what it means to her, and that and his deep caring nature made her fall for him. When he's well enough to travel she travels with him so that he can reunite with Law, and they 'adopt' him.

My self ship for Ace x Buggy is a performance Clown part of the Buggy Pirates.

Ace has been a part of the crew for as long as any of the other original members and harbored feelings for their captain for a very long time before eventually breaking down and confessing after feeling like they were going to lose him to impel down. Buggy is initially very awkward and flustered and nervous about the confession but admits that he had feelings too. He's a bit of a tsundere so sometimes it takes a lot to get hid real feelings out in the open. Buggy has huge jealousy issues and will be very very possessive. Has a huge soft spot for Ace. They fight with a comically large hammer, and with a similar style to capoeira where they are dancing as they fight. They are obnoxious after they're officially together, but it's cute.

#acacia self ships

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jootsmcgoots · 4 years

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MBC Selfshipping Prompts #1: First Dates (Risotto Nero)

WOO BOY so Haley started a weekly Selfship Prompt event over at MBC, and I wanted to write it out! And so I did.

Mind you, this uses my self-insert, Niko, so it’s going to be using that name and female pronouns. This work got away from me, so it ended up being 2422 words (even when I meant for this to be less than 2k words......lmaooo...)

I will get around to posting my reader inserts soon, but not yet LOL I’ll get around to it when I get around to it. This blog is still very much a WIP because I still need to re-reblog a LOT of content from the old blog.

But for now, this is what I’m writing and I wanted to post it up. I may write another for Mista, but we’ll see (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

So as the title implies, this is the first of the prompts, and it’s “First Dates”.

Niko let out a yawn as she sleepily looked out at the busy street. Her eyes scanned the droves of people walking around, trying to scope out her target. Dark eyes blinked as she studied the faces of men nearing her, trying to determine if they were the one she was looking for. When they passed by her, she shrugged internally.

Her phone’s clock read 10:47 AM. She knew they agreed to meet around 11, but it never hurt to be early. “And anyways, better to be early than late, right? Right.” She still couldn’t help getting bored easily, and the anxiety and tension building in her chest continued to rise as the seconds passed.

“Calm down, calm down,” she thought to herself, “It’s just a date; you’ve been on dates before! Just treat it like you’re just hanging out with a friend.” Niko let out the breath she was holding and took her phone out, idly browsing it in order to distract herself. “Plus, it’s Mimi’s brother. There’s no way he’d be the bad kind of sort. She wouldn’t set us up if she thought we weren’t going to get along.”

Still, she had to admit she was surprised when her friend made the suggestion and arrangements. Niko recalled as her friend more or less pushed the aquarium tickets into her hand and snatched her phone to punch in her brother’s contact info.

“It’ll be nice, I promise! He’s a really great guy, and I think you two will hit it off!” Mimi flashed the smaller woman a grin. “Plus, he needs to get out more often.”

Niko’s mouth formed a slight line as she remembered how she had asked her friend for a photo of her date, but Mimi’s grin only grew with amusement.

“Oh, don’t worry about that! You’ll know when you see him.”

A noise of annoyance escaped Niko’s throat. “Dude, what does that even mean?” Her brow creased as she tried to think on what that could have meant, but quickly gave up, deciding it was too much effort. Her eyes absentmindedly left her phone screen to scope out her surroundings again.

Except her eyes bugged out as they fell on a large, foreboding man in dark clothing who towered over most if not all of the other people walking along. Whether by his size or presence, people seemed to naturally get out of his way as he continued making his way down the street. Everything about him exuded a quiet kind of power, from the way he walked, his stern expression, his hulking, muscular frame…

Though she remained completely stock-still, Niko shook her head inwardly. “No, no, maybe it’s not him! Maybe it’s just your regular, big, muscular, scary-lookin’ dude with fucking black sclera and red eyes, just walkin’ down the street for a stroll! All decked out in black and has the kinda expression that says, ‘hey so if you piss me off, I’m going to rip your limbs off’! Totally normal! Yeah! Hahaha!”

However, despite the thousands of thoughts going through her head at miles a minute, Niko knew. Now she understood what Mimi had meant by “You’ll know.” When the man stopped in front of her, it was undeniable that this man was indeed her date.

She could feel red eyes roving over her, studying her. If looks could kill, Niko felt like she would have been smote where she stood from the intensity of his stare alone.

Risotto’s unblinking crimson stare studied the woman before him. She certainly matched the picture and profile his sister had given him. Petite and girlish stature, short black hair that swept to the right, glasses, gold studs in her lobes, everything matched. He noted how she was sporting a mint green frog backpack, just like she’d specified she would so that he could recognize her easier. How thoughtful of her to suggest that in the first place. He couldn’t deny that he appreciated the consideration.

He was an observant man and was well-aware of his perception skills. After all, it was an invaluable skill in his line of work. However even without his sharp senses, there was no missing the look of surprise, awe, and slight fear in his date’s flabbergasted visage. Her eyes were wide, brows raised to the sky and jaw slack, lips seeming to form the beginnings of “Oh my god.”

Risotto let out a nearly imperceptible huff of amusement. His sister was right; this woman’s face hid nothing. He couldn’t help but smile a little at that candidness.

Introductions were short and awkward, but they served their purposes. Once acquainted, the pair could proceed with their date. Their itinerary was rather basic, just go to an aquarium and get some food together. Simple enough.

However, conversation was rather sparse as they made their way to their destination. Without any prior knowledge or known common ground, Niko was unsure of what to talk about, and Risotto was a taciturn individual by nature.

He didn’t dislike the small talk that she was trying to make, asking him things like what he did, what his hobbies were, but it required him to think carefully about his responses. It wasn’t exactly appropriate to vent about how little you were being paid to kill people on a first date.

What were you even supposed to talk about on a first meeting like this anyways? It had been far too long since he had tried connecting with someone new, let alone someone not affiliated with Passione. Though Risotto’s face remained as placid as ever, worry and nerves began bubbling beneath the surface as he picked up on the traces of worry and discomfort on his date’s face, and he wracked his brain for more to say.

He wasn’t alone, though; Niko hardly ever met people like this, usually having some common ground with new conversational partners. Here, she had absolutely no idea. Inwardly, she cursed Mimi for putting them in this awkward situation, wishing a thousand poxes on her friend’s house.

=====

“Eh? You set them up on a date?”

“Yup!” Mimi replied cheerily.

“And it’s a blind date, you said? And she doesn’t know what he looks like?”

Mimi hummed an affirmative as she snuggled up against her boyfriend’s shoulder, black nails clacking against her phone screen as she browsed. Though Kakyoin’s eyes hadn’t left the screen and he had continued dutifully chaining combos, his brows raised in surprise as he made a considering noise.

“Oh dear. She’s in for quite the surprise then.” As the victory logo flashed on screen, he leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead and smiled warmly at Mimi.

“That’s evil. I love it.”

=====

Arriving to the aquarium was a relief and a salvation to Niko. At least now they could busy themselves with an activity, and that would give them something to do together. Slowly, their conversation became less stiff and stilted, as Niko began prattling off about the various exhibits they toured together. Bit by bit, she continued to come out of her shell as she pulled him from room to room, and by noontime she was babbling nonstop about the penguin feeding exhibit they had just been at.

“…and god, they were just so damned cute!” Her eyes glittered at the memory. “Fun fact, did you know that there was this one penguin that fell in love with an anime character? I’m not kidding!” Niko nodded as Risotto tilted his head at that statement. “Yeah, yeah! His name was Grape-kun and he uh…” Her words petered out, and her expression turned sheepish.

Risotto raised a brow, unsure of why she stopped. “Is something wrong?”

Niko fidgeted in silence for a moment before answering. “I…I just kinda realized that I’ve been dragging you from place to place, and I’ve just been rambling non-stop. It’s – it’s not that…it’s okay if you’re just not one for talking. I totally get that!” she said, waving her hands in front of her before wringing them worriedly. “I just wanna make sure you’re having fun too. Like, I just hope I’m not talking over you or only doing the things I wanna do, y’know?”

She looked up at him to meet his stare. Embarrassment was racking up by the second, and as she was going to open her mouth, he spoke.

“I’ve been enjoying myself.”

Relief flooded her senses. Niko smiled at him as she registered his words, her expression relaxing into something much brighter. He couldn’t help but mirror the expression, even though the corners of his mouth had barely turned upwards.

She clapped her hands together as a thought seemed to dawn on her.

“I know! Was there anything in particular that you wanted to do? Anything here that you were looking forward to?”

At that, Risotto’s eyes widened just the tiniest bit, but Niko had caught it. “There is, isn’t there?” she probed with a mischievous grin. “C’mon, tell me! I’m sure it’ll be nice.”

He averted his eyes, and she chuckled good-naturedly at his sudden shyness. “C’mooon, tell me! We already came all the way out here, so if there was something you wanted to do, let’s go and do it!”

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t turn away from her expression, bright and shining like the sun, with no escape. Risotto let out a mumble, still unable to look her directly in the eye.

“Mm? What was that?” Niko tilted her ear towards him.

“…the manta rays.” He repeated himself, barely louder.

She made the connection in seconds. “Oh! The petting pool with the manta rays!” Niko threw him a grin as he nodded. “Yeah, I gotcha! Let’s go!” And at that, she immediately set off before stopping short and looking behind her, waiting for him. “Come on! It gets really crowded, so let’s head on over.”

The petting pool was a popular exhibit, and it was already full of people, children and adults alike, all fawning over the adorable manta rays that practically jumped out of the water for a petting. Though his face remained as stony as ever, the sparkles in Risotto’s eyes exposed his excitement as the sounds of splashing drew nearer and nearer.

Niko let out a giggle. How cute.

However, he just stood there, staring out at the pool that was so close yet so far. Maybe he felt put off by the number of people there.

Taking matters into her own hands, Niko tried to lead them closer to the pool, but found that the droves of people who were already there difficult to navigate. She managed to bypass a few of them, but soon found it hard to actually get near the exhibit. Her lips curled to the side in annoyance as she tried to think about how to get to the exhibit.

Then, she felt someone take her hand. Niko looked up in surprise to see Risotto by her side, taking her hand gently as he began to wade through the crowd with her in tow, people parting as a hulking 6’8” man strode over to the manta ray pool. No one there decided that it was worth getting in his way, especially as he occasionally let out quiet, polite “excuse me, pardon me”s as he made his way over.

As Niko followed him through the crowd, she had a thought. Throughout the date, he hadn’t tried to make contact with her at all. Now that she thought about it, he had kept a respectful distance from her the entire time.

She let that fact wash over her as they approached the pool. Manta rays were swimming serenely through the clear water, occasionally breaking the surface of the water, excited for more pets.

Risotto had already dipped his hands into the cold water, gently stroking the creature as it passed by. A soft smile graced his features, dimples forming on his cheeks.

The sight was something Niko wanted to commit to memory.

Noticing that she had yet to join him, he removed his hand from the pool to look at his date. What he was met with was a soft, nearly reverent look on her face, dust blushing her cheeks. Upon realizing that he was looking directly at her, Niko gave him an awkward grin, hastily kneeling down with him to start babbling about how cute the rays were.

“…sorry.”

That cut her ramble short. “Huh? About what?”

“I should have asked first.”

His heart was thrumming in his chest as he searched her expression for any change. She looked confused for the barest of seconds before realization lit her features.

“Oh. Oh! That!” Niko quickly took her hand out of the pool, but thought better of shaking her hands in front of her like she usually did. “No, no – don’t worry about that!” She laughed, the sound causing a tentative warmth to blossom in his chest. “I really didn’t mind. It was…it was nice.” She emphasized her point with a shy but honest smile that caused the warmth in his chest to go into full bloom.

His eyes softened at her gentle expression, the soft look on her face looking like the most natural thing in the world. Risotto grunted an affirmative, finding words to be difficult.

As they walked away from the petting pool and dried off their hands, Niko spoke up.

“You know…to be honest, I wasn’t so sure about this. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone on a date, and this was my first blind date. I was ready to kill Mimi!” she admitted with a laugh, miming strangling motions. “No offense.”

“None taken.” His chuckle was nearly inaudible, but she didn’t miss the amusement in his voice.

Her smile grew wide, toothy and easy. “But this was nice. Real nice.”

“It was.” Risotto returned the smile, however subtle the change in his expression was. “I’ll admit this was…an experience. But I enjoyed it.”

At that, Niko laughed lightly and reached out to take his hand. Risotto noted the hesitation in her actions, the pause lasting no longer than a second. But in the end, he could feel his hand in hers, warm and comforting, like that was where it belonged.

He smiled at the feeling.

“Let’s go get lunch?” she asked, tilting her head at him.

His hand tightened around hers, just so.

“Let’s.”

As they walked towards their destination, they discussed restaurants, going over their options and bantering all the way there, the sound of her laughter echoing down the street.

#my self insert #Niko #self insert #self insert prompts #first dates #Risotto Nero #Vento Aureo #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #modern AU #aquariums #my writing #SFW #fluff #fluffy #risotto x niko

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utanoprinces · 4 years

Text

Dragon Route: Natsuki

After a long stretch of months in the creative pit, I have been very busy on my selfship blog but otherwise quietly sticking to work I have emerged with one of the first of my written commissions! Commissioned by the very kind and longsuffering @eldritchdoctor, who waited far too many months for it to be completed, the first of the Starish routes is here to be read at your leisure. This one, like Reiji’s, will not be in narration-player format like the others but is instead a very long one-shot. I hope you enjoy!

Tale of: the Merchant and Citrine Dragon

The first time you met him, you thought it’d be the last night you’d walk the earth. To this day, you wonder if—had you not crossed paths with him—it would have been. Your cart had broken down in the middle of the mountain crossing, right on the curve overlooking a valley. Normally, that would spell doom, as the kingdom at large is well aware that the area is rife with the Fae and all their mischief, tricks, and traps laid to ensnare unlucky or unsuspecting mortals. It’s said that even straying a meter from the man-made path is enough to get yourself caught up in a wild goose chase after false lanterns or end up some unknown creature’s meal, so when you’d nervously sat down on the grassy hill beside your broken cart in despair only to minutes-later be met with a sudden, gentle voice, you had immediately assumed it was the end.

“Cute, little human~!” The voice called. “Did your wheel box fall apart?”

Wheel box? You thought to yourself very absently, unable to think much else with a chill running down your spine. Realizing he meant the cart, you looked up—and froze in place.

He was tall, so tall. Broad-shouldered, but with a softness about his entire demeanor that nearly made you forget the danger you were in, and clad in a long, smooth coat that graduated from rich yellows to soft browns. Farther up, you were briefly entranced by the green of his eyes, like grass in sunlight, framed by a pair of filigree spectacles and wavy, beige-gold hair that twisted in so many shiny, pleasant ways that you were nearly bowled over by the very unprecedented desire to dig your hands into it and run your fingers through to the ends.

However, the most arresting part of the open, inviting face gazing down at you was not any of the features you’d normally consider yourself familiar with. Instead of his pale skin, his gentle smile, or those eyes that threatened to capture you once more, it was the twisting, bronze horns curling across his forehead that most caught your eye.

He tilted his head, face shifting into a concerned expression with wide, owlish eyes.

“Hm? Can you not hear me…?” He kneeled before you to reach your eye level, still smiling far wider than was appropriate. He waved his hands in front of your face—his fingertips had claws!—and hummed. “Are you all right, human~?”

“What are you?” You blurted. His face broadened in surprise before he smiled once more.

“A friend. Here to help you.” He turned his attention away from you and tapped his face, standing straight as he approached your fallen cart with an appraising eye. Your attention zoned in on the golden tail behind him, crested with feathers near where it disappeared into his coat and at the end, where it splayed into beautiful long plumes that shimmered faintly in the moonlight. You quietly decided that—whatever he was—he was certainly the most stunning creature you'd ever seen.

It went on like that, with the strange being waving his hand in a seemingly random pattern and somehow pulling your cart together again. When he finished reassembling it, he returned to you and helped you up by gripping the back of your clothes as if you were a kitten and settled you on your feet.

“Are you traveling alone?” He asked. “That seems so lonely!”

“I don’t exactly have a choice,” you replied carefully. “I have to make a living somehow.” He hummed in awe, face turning once more to that innocent, wide-eyed expression. You almost wondered if he was teasing you, but he just seemed so… guileless. It was hard to gauge, so you kept your guard up, even as his tail swayed with interest.

“What is it you do exactly? I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to many humans! Syo always tries to drag me away when I see any.”

You frowned. ‘Syo’? You shook your head and walked down to your cart, carefully brushing over the joints and straps and making sure nothing had fallen out when it broke down. You took up the straps again. “I’m a merchant. Traveling, usually but… I’ve heard of some opportunities near the capital that seem profitable.”

“P… profitable?” The being squinted, as if testing the word in his mouth. You stared at him.

“Do you… know what commerce is, er…?”

He brightened. “Natsuki!” His face fell again. “...and no… but I’m very curious to learn.” Somehow… something about the way he seemed so knowledgeable and yet so childish at once… it struck you. You couldn’t help breathing a small huff of amusement as you straightened the straps over your shoulders and took a step.

“You’re right, Natsuki. The journey has been pretty lonely, so far.”

He easily caught up and fell into step beside you, politely and thoughtfully folding his hands in front of him. “I can keep you company! I’m so curious about humans, you know!” You smiled awkwardly at him.

“As long as you don’t try to snare me or take my name or anything…”

“Take your name?” He blinked. “Is that something humans do?” He gasped. “Is that what bandits do? Now I know why I always see people running from them!” This guy… was he really Fae? That was what you had thought until his eyes had lit up with understanding… moments before he seemed to shrink in on himself. “A-ah… I see. You’re… afraid.” You flinched. He sounded so, so terribly sad. You weren’t expecting a being like him to care what a human thought… or maybe you’d even thought he might show his true colors if you were blunt with him. However, to your surprise, he genuinely seemed concerned. He lowered his eyes, looking out over the swathes of forest that stretched away down the side of the path as you both trudged forward. “I… understand. Tokiya says humans avoid the valley because they are afraid of the Court, but… please believe me when I say that dragons and the Court are not entirely alike. We don’t wish to hurt humans.” He paused and frowned. “Well… most of us.”

You weren’t entirely sure how to respond. Court? Dragons? He was a dragon? But dragons hadn’t been heard of in over fifty years! Still, his tail, his horns, the casual way he’d used magic… it matched the legends you’d heard. What in the world were you meant to do with such information, though?

“I’m not afraid,” you blurted, and immediately snapped your mouth shut, feeling your face heat up. Okay, maybe that was impulsive. Maybe you’d just wanted to reassure him that you didn’t hate him, with him looking so gentle and wounded like he was. Almost instantly, his gaze snapped back to you, face splitting into an overjoyed grin that seemed to glow brighter than the moonlight itself… or perhaps that was the faintly-shimmering, golden mist that very subtly bloomed from between his lips and surrounded you both. Your heart stuttered as you were overcome with imagery, sensations… something you’d never quite felt before.

Biting into sweet pears and feeling the juices run down your hands but knowing that it would be washed away by clean water. Licking honey from your fingertips, surrounded by the scent of fresh bread and butter and the laughter of people you love. Being held in a pile of soft cushions, fingertips brushing down your skin.

He was golden. He was radiant. He was celestial.

He… was the most beautiful thing you’d ever experienced and—you blinked. Wait just a moment; what was all that? You stared up at him, faltering in your steps as your brows knit and you attempted to gauge his demeanor. Natsuki simply smiled, his eyes soft and distant, his energy overall serene and unthreatening.

“I’m happy if that’s the case,” he said carefully, eyes never leaving yours. “I’m happy if you trust me enough to take you wherever you’re going.” He blinked slowly and tilted his head. “You are… incredibly fascinating and cute.”

The heat in your face had increased, your walk had continued, and finally, after many hours, you’d reached the end of the mountain pass. Before you reached the outpost, Natsuki regaled you with tales of his interactions with pixies, of the annual revel of the Fae Court and all the dragons that met there, of his home, his love of animals. He also asked plenty of questions, both mundane and vast, about humans and human life. Little by little, he entertained you and kept you at ease and—strangely—in a way, he kept you safe the entire while. Finally, he glanced up towards the wall of the outpost cresting over the distant trees and looked back to you, lifting a hand to gently brush through your hair.

“I hope you stay safe on the rest of your journey, cute Merchant,” he said, leaning down to smile at you directly. “...and I hope you keep me in your thoughts.”

With that, he waved as innocently as a child and faded before you could reply, leaving you alone on the path with a mended cart and entirely stunned.

⁂

With the city bustling around you, you sigh quietly and look up to the mountain range at the edge of the horizon. The sky is bright and blue, nary a cloud in sight; the air is the perfect temperature for traveling… and you are traveling light, so everything is in place for a pleasant journey aside from the usual possible hazards of being abroad. You lick your lips, glancing up at the smudges of grey-green in the blueness once more, the distant peaks only just showing over the top of the city walls.

It has been some time since you’ve journeyed through the mountain pass. Years, even. You’ve led a relatively calm life moving your wares between the capital and surrounding villages, but now it's once again time for you to leave your roots and start somewhere new. Whether it's because you've heard rumors of new, even-more fascinating items to sell in existence beyond the mountains or simply because your heart is yearning for the road, you haven't decided. All you know is that you are called to go… and so you do, though it's lighter this time than the last trip, with only the gear you need to camp safely along the trail and the items you plan to sell on the other side.

As you take the first steps out of the city and onto the path towards the mountains, an errant thought flits through your mind; you wonder if you’ll meet him again… that strange, golden-colored being. With the way the wind is tugging at your clothes enticingly, you get the sense that anything—and especially something incredible—could happen. That in mind, you hike your pack higher on your shoulders and begin the several-day trek to the base of the mountain pass.

⁂

By incredible, you hadn’t really meant ‘earth-shattering’.

Of course, you should really know by now that things rarely work out exactly as you expect them to, for better and for worse.

You hold onto your pack tightly, doing your best to press yourself under the rocky outcrop you’d managed to scramble to when the first roar echoed across the horizon. The very earth seems to shake with another agonizingly-loud bellow, a sound you’ve never heard in your life, so ear-splitting that you think it might have the power to kill you just from the vibrations it’s sending through your body. You squeeze your eyes shut as small pebbles and sand pour down around you. Something in the air thrums—subaudible, thunderous pulses… a chorus of them in various pitches. You pull your legs up, whimpering quietly as you continue to hide, unsure if you should be praying to the powers that be, and look up just in time to see a jaw-droppingly massive figure of gold go crashing into the forest below the path. Another rumble echoes through the ground as trees fall around the impact. You stare, unable to close your mouth in your shock as the figure is followed by several more, some pausing in the air to hover.

Dragons.

You realize the pulse in the air is the sound of their wings, big enough to cast a full district of the capital city in shadow each. There are seven of them, including the golden one that had fallen to the ground before, each a different color and almost glowing in the sun. In fact, there’s one who seems to glow like the sun itself, judging by the halo of light around its wings. You watch as they fly around each other, mouths opening and closing as different sounds fill the air with their wingbeats. Roars, growls, noises not unlike echoing wolf yips. Explosions of colored light shoot upwards from where the golden one had fallen, crackling outwards like the sparkling explosions seen around festivals in the city. Despite your fear, you can’t help but crawl forward, looking on in awe. The closer you get, the more the roars seem to take shape in your mind, almost as if they aren’t mindless sounds at all, but a true language being thrown back and forth.

“Someone bind him! Tokiya… Tokiya your spells!”

“I’m trying my best! I wasn’t prepared for this today.”

“Who would be, Ichi?! Just get on it!”

“I’d like to see you try harder yourself, Jinguji!”

“Stop arguing and hold him in place while Syo gets his glasses!”

The group descends as a smaller, rosy-pink dragon darts in like a falcon. Shortly after, a cloud of rainbow smoke as big as the palace rises from the impact. The roars decrease to smaller sounds, more human sounds. Shouting and arguing below the pathway. You take a hold of your pack, gingerly slinging it back over your shoulders before crawling out farther to peer over the ridge. With the rocks strewn around the path biting into your palms, you bend down, carefully looking down between the trees. You see an array of richly-dressed men scrambling around, clothes flashing and glittering in the patches of sunlight that manage to stream through the trees. Two dark-clad members of the group stand over the figure on the ground, hands raised and shifting between movements. One is writing in the air furiously with a sleek, black quill. Dripping purple coils of light follow his pen, sinking downwards like silt before fading from sight. The other, a man whose robe resembles the night sky, complete with glittering stars, uses a silver finger cuff to claw glowing, white runes into the air over the figure on the ground, who is growling and thrashing against a violently-bright, purple light barrier over him. A smaller figure in pink and white dashes left and right around the barrier, holding something delicately in his hands.

“You”—he stumbles and curses—“you have to hold him still! I can’t get through the barrier if he’s thrashing!”

The man with jet-colored hair and the black quill hisses, “What more do you want us to do? This is already the limit of Hijirkawa’s and my power!” There is a flash of light and another of the men comes into view, hair strikingly red. Seemingly without thought, he drives his foot down hard through the light barrier, immediately crying out in pain but staying firm with his foot on the bound figure’s chest.

“Ikki!” “Otoya!”

As it all unfolds before you, somehow the beings move in such a way that the crowd parts for an instant—just long enough for the man on the ground to make eye contact with you through a ripple in the barrier.

Green… like sunlight through leaves.

You clap a hand over your mouth as the realization hits you.

It’s him.

Natsuki is distracted long enough for the smallest man to force his hands through the barrier, hissing in pain as he shoves a distantly-familiar pair of glasses over Natsuki’s eyes. Immediately, the barrier ripples and shatters apart, making a sound like cracking crystal before dissipating. Natsuki’s shout of anguish is cut off by a sharp silence; he falls limp on the forest floor. The group of men shares a collective sigh of relief, each slouching or closing their eyes as though exhausted. Shaken, you move to crawl away from the ridge but accidentally send a cascade of debris down the side. The jet-haired man looks up, eyes narrowing as he scans for the sound before widening when they land on you.

“We’re not alone,” he says sharply. The others follow his gaze, each pair of jewel-colored eyes landing on you in turn. You feel an alarming stab of dread lance through you and you recoil in fear, but not before you hear a crackle and shuffle. You scramble backward, still blinking hard in surprise and making sure you have everything you need. Unfortunately, you turn around and run right into the arms of one of the taller men—an orange-haired man clad in little more than an abundance of sheer ruffles. He catches you firmly around the waist, pack and all, and smirks, tilting his head and batting eyes bluer than a summer sky.

"Are you lost, little lamb~?" His voice is smooth and sinuous, rich and low as it sinks into your ears. Without even moving, you can tell you won’t be able to break his hold, so you simply fall silent, glancing back to where the others are slowly gathering Natsuki off the ground before looking back to the one holding you.

“W… what did you do to him? ‘Natsuki’, right? Is he okay?” You swallow uncomfortably. “Are you going to kill me?”

The man blinks several times before laughing, a pleasant, breathy chuckle. You hear a hiss from behind you and the man clothed in the night sky robe (Hijirikawa?) speaks.

“Jinguji, is now really the time to be laughing? A human has seen us… and worse, has seen Shinomiya on the brink of—”

“Quiet,” the jet-haired man murmurs firmly. “We shouldn’t speak of this in the open. If word gets out, the Queen will want an audience… and none of us want that.” He glances among the group, taking in their equally-cowed faces and lowered eyes. His eyes return to you, narrowed suspiciously. “We should bring the human with us. They’ve seen too much and they know his name… We can wait for him to regain consciousness and then decide what to do with them after.” You open your mouth to argue that it’s insensitive to discuss your fate as if you aren’t present as well, but before you can get a word out, the man who is holding you extends a claw before your face. A small flame springs to life on the tip of his finger and it draws your attention just long enough for him to snap his fingers, sending the flame up into a shower of sparks.

You black out instantly.

⁂

The time of day is uncertain when you wake again, but judging by the heat, you assume it’s after midday. It’s almost uncanny to wake with no side effects from your sudden unconsciousness. In fact, you almost feel better than you did before you’d been so rudely knocked out. All the same, you habitually rub your eyes as you sit up to peer around you.

Sunlight filters through a canopy of leafy trees overhead; a few birds are shifting and twittering in the branches. You take a deep breath—wherever you are, you’re outside, lying on warm stone. There is a very distant sound of… music? But it’s not an instrument you’ve heard before… airy and whimsical and reverberating… not unlike the tuning forks you witnessed an alchemist use once during a visit to the palace court. There’s a quiet rustle of fabric behind you and you turn to see the smallest of the other men you’d met, perking up from a stone chair not far from the bench you’re lying on. He’s dressed in a strange, white, two-piece bodysuit with pink sheer draped over him. It’s more revealing than the fashions in the cities and villages you’ve seen, so you can’t help but feel a little flustered over it and blurt the first thing that comes to mind.

“Are you some sort of courtesan?”

He flushes pinker than his clothes—it makes the blue of his eyes pop—and growls, “What? No! Of course not!” You blink at him several times, surprised by his embarrassment, then laugh once. Twice. You decay into little giggles and sit up all the way while he huffs and crosses his arms. “Oi, I was generous when I offered to watch you and you’re havin’ the nerve to laugh at me! You got any idea who I am?” You choke down your mirth and look at him after noticing your pack carefully stowed away beside your bench. His tail is a deep, dusty pink and flecked with scales that resemble splotches of gold leaf… and it’s thrashing subtly, much like an annoyed cat. You breathe an amused sound once more and tilt your head.

“Nope. No idea. Are you someone important?”

“Imp…! Important!” He splutters, standing up abruptly. He stalks over to you and, despite the danger you’re clearly capable of falling into, you don’t feel scared. He simply narrows his eyes and blows his bangs out of his face, standing tall. “Syo Kurusu, of the Starish Weyr, where you’re currently being held.” He sniffs. “Who are you? Don’t look like a princess.” You smile with vague interest.

“‘Syo’, huh. That’s a curious name.” You stand up, still looking around as you straighten your clothes. You tell him your name and explain you’re a humble, traveling Merchant. He frowns as he listens to your concise explanation and nods when you’re finished.

“Eh… That explains why you were traveling through the valley, I guess. Shame you had to…” He wrinkles his nose, looking unsure. “...shame you had to see everything. But… You said Natsuki’s name.” You lick your lips and nod slowly.

“We’ve met before… It was a long time ago.”

Syo snorts. “‘A long time ago’. Heh. You’re really a human.” He rubs the back of his head as his eyes bob around thoughtfully before going wide. “A… a Merchant, you said?” You frown.

“Yeah… nothing special, like I said, but—”

“You’re the one he talks about all the time! You have to be!”

You blink. “What?” Syo grabs your hand and starts pulling you towards an archway that disappears into a hall.

“Come on, come on! I’ll take you to see him.” He turns back and gives you a surprisingly bright grin. “We can get this all cleared up without Tokiya wanting to wipe your brain or somethin’. He’s careful, but honestly? He’s a little hard on humans.” He releases your hand as you enter a high-ceilinged hallway, lined with equally high windows. The walls are carved of a cream-colored stone; it causes the sunlight to suffuse the entire structure with a richly-golden shade. Syo continues to chatter aimlessly as you pass various crossroads in the seemingly-endless… castle? Manor? You’re actually not quite sure what to call this building aside from the term your guide had used earlier, ‘weyr’. Best you can tell, it’s easily as big as one of the grand council halls from the capital and, consequently, one of the largest structures you’ve been inside. You pass a hallway and see a flash of inky tail slide along the stone, disappearing into a doorway you only can catch a glimpse of at the pace you’re traveling.

Eventually, you realize you’re slowly ascending, whether by stairs or grand, spiraling staircases, to higher and higher levels until you—quite suddenly—step out of a stone archway and find yourself knee-deep in lush grass. You lift a hand to shield your eyes at the change in lighting and glance at Syo, who is stretching casually. A light breeze ruffles his clothing and hair and he sighs before stepping out towards a stand of trees in the middle distance. You follow, stepping carefully, unsure of the new territory.

“So… what’s this about Natsuki mentioning me?” You ask lightly. Syo’s tail lifts and ripples as he climbs onto a log, treading down it while lifting his arms for balance.

“Ah… A few years back, he mentioned meeting a human,” he explains. “And uh… We actually haven’t had any dealings with humans since…” He frowns. “Well, it’s been a long time. At first, we got worried. Natsuki doesn’t always… know his own strength. With how excited he gets, he could easily hurt one of you guys. You’re all so small and fragile.” You hide a laugh with a false cough, thinking it’s funny for a man so small to be talking about humanity’s stature. Syo hops down off the log towards the end, beginning to lead you to where the trees grow a little thicker. The sound of wildlife increases and the air itself seems to thrum with some unseen energy. It tingles in the base of your spine and makes you feel a little stronger, a little fuller. Syo continues, “Anyway, when he told us about how calm you’d been, we were pretty amazed. What with the way dragons used to be known, you… seemed to take us pretty in stride, heh.”

You shrug gingerly. “I was scared, I won’t lie, but… I figure if some Fae is being kind to me and helping me out, then I have nothing to complain about. I got to see magic up close!” You take a measured, excited breath as the rush of the memory returns to you. “Not even Trickery or the typical Spellweaver stuff, like… Real magic! He just waved his hands and my cart came together again!” Syo’s ears lift slightly before he winces.

“R-real magic….” You nod. “Are all of you like that? I saw some of the magic being used earlier… the guy with the quill and the one with the finger cuff. You’re all dragons, aren’t you? Just like he is…”

“Mm…” He agrees vaguely. “We’re all dragons, sure. Not all of us are like Natsuki, though.” He pauses before some draped branches of some species of willow tree. You lift a brow.

“Oh? What… what makes him different?”

Syo looks back at you. “Natsuki’s… the strongest magic user I’ve ever seen outside the Queen’s Court… and maybe even then.” You can’t say that anything goes against your expectations at this point, considering you’ve been existing in a vacuum of spectacle for who knows how many hours now, yet still you feel your heart drop. Syo pulls the curtain of branches aside and steps through and you follow dazedly. Light blinds you for a moment and you lift your hands while your eyes adjust once more. When you lower them again, your jaw drops.

The mountain rolls before you for a great distance. You’re amazed that despite being this high, there’s no snow to be seen. Instead, there’s an expanse of the same grass you’ve been wading through, along with splashes of wildflowers and trees, and—most eye-catching of all—a lake. It’s so clear and gentle that the surface is almost mirror-like, reflecting the slowly-reddening afternoon sky, peachy clouds, and the brilliant sun. The wind ruffles it every few moments, causing the trail of the sunlight to shatter into glittering patches. Still, it’s not the environment that makes your breath catch.

It’s the massive, golden, feathery dragon sleeping on the bank of the lake.

You blink rapidly several times, going completely still as you drink in his looks. A great mane of feathers begins at the crown of his head and hugs his jaw like a lion, descending down his spine in a small trail before bursting into another crest of feathers at both the base and the end of his tail. A strange contraption extends from his ears on either side: filigree bars that hold glass disks to his eyes, a dragon’s replacement for human spectacles.

He breathes in deeply, eyes closed, and exhales again, causing the grass in front of him to flatten.

The comical interruption of your admiration makes you laugh, drawing Syo’s gaze.

“C’mon. Looks like he’s still sleeping, but… He should be waking up again soon.” He trudges down the hill towards the bank and you all but stumble after him, eyes still trained on Natsuki… or… you assume it’s Natsuki.

“He… he’s as big as the town square!” You say breathlessly.

“Mm? Oh. Yeah, Natsuki’s also one of the largest of us.”

“I thought he was… still in his… human form?” Your voice falls to an awed whisper as you finally reach him and marvel at the jeweled, almost lacquered look of his scales. His chest rumbles with the sound of his breaths, louder than the quiet tide of the lake. Syo smacks a clawed hand on the side of Natsuki’s neck and hums.

“He kinda got put through a lot earlier; that binding spell by Masato and Tokiya was no joke. After somethin’ like that, access to the other plane can get pretty volatile, so we brought him out here in case he shifted back and forth… and so he could absorb some of the properties of the lake.” He points to the small waves that are washing up on the pale sand and you notice small whorls of colorful iridescence in the water that seem to be drawn to the bits of Natsuki that are partially submerged. His scales glitter visibly as the whorls sink into him with every breath. Suddenly, the sound of an explosion rocks the air and Syo’s eyes widen as he turns back towards the direction of the weyr and curses under his breath. He waves at you with both hands in a frenzied manner and lurches into a run.

“I forgot I had something waiting for me—messy—uh…! Stay right here and try not to startle him if he wakes up!” He bursts his way back up the hill, calling over his shoulder to not tell Tokiya you were left alone. When he’s gone, you turn back to Natsuki, whose eyes are still heavily shut. Up close, you can see that the scales over his eyelids are so fine they almost appear velvety. The quills of his feathers are as big around as your lower legs. Before you’re even aware, you’re resting a hand on his cheek that’s as tall as you are at least.

His scales are warm…

You drag your hand over them gently, feeling the strange, stone-like texture with unimpeded inquisitiveness, flexing your fingers against the curves and ridges as you take steps towards his snout to watch his breaths bend the grass. One of his paws is beneath his chin, massive fingers and claws extending outward and digging into the sand. Seeing him this way, you can hardly believe such a behemoth could fit into the man that’s only a few inches over average height… and such a gentle one at that, or so you’ve experienced. After staring wondrously at the grass in front of him, you make your way back, studying the size of his eye sockets, the ways the folds of skin around his ears grow thin and smooth for flexibility, the places where his feathers are joined to his body. All at once, you’re overwhelmed by how cute he seems to be despite his size and the dangerous glimpse you saw earlier that you’ve yet to understand. You can’t resist burying yourself in the side of his mane, suppressing an excited squee as you ruffle your limbs and face in the surprisingly soft feathers. You’re so enraptured, you don’t notice his breathing come to a stop before resuming at a more subdued pace. You’re about to pull away when you freeze up as his entire body shudders and you hear, no… think, no….

“Don’t stop,” a polite, gentle voice appears in your mind and surrounds you. “I’ve never felt anything so soothing....!” You lift your head from the feathers and lean back enough to peer at the eye closest to you, which is open at last and vivid green and very much looking back at you as best it can. He blinks slowly and you see the scales of his muzzle shift into what can only be a smile. His lower eyelid bunches up. “I think this is what dragons used to experience from princesses. Waah, what a wonderful feeling! I could keep you like this forever!” You jolt away from him in surprise and his eye follows you as you point up at him.

“Y-you’re awake! ...I hope I didn’t disturb you…” Your words die in your throat as he lifts his head, impossibly high; extends his arms out, impossibly long; and yawns. He shakes his mane loose and then lowers his head onto his paws again. His entire body ripples as he shifts to face you better. After a few moments, his eyes clear, then bloom with a warm expression that makes you feel more adored than you’ve ever experienced in your life.

“Oh? It’s you,” he says contentedly. “You’re as cute as you were when we met before. It’s so good to see you again; it’s like my heart has filled up with cherry blossom petals!” He extends his head forward to nose you and you think he might knock you over, but you’re surprised to feel that he’s as gentle as a building-sized creature can be and nudges you with the same force a hungry, curious horse might. “To think we’d meet again with you adoring me in such a way~ Please… please continue while you tell me how you found me here!” You glance back at the direction Syo had departed unsurely. Should you really give in so easily? You get the sense you aren’t meant to be interacting with him alone after whatever it was that had happened earlier. All the same, his eyes are massive as he stares down at you, and still full of that adoring look that’s making your legs weak.

You cave.

When you rest your hands on his nose and stroke him gently, his eyes fall closed.

“It’s nice to see you again, Natsuki,” you murmur, the warmth in your voice undisguised. “You stayed in my thoughts.” At your words, he releases a sharp chuff like a big cat and a cloud of glittering, golden mist pours from him, surrounding you in an instant. Immediately, your senses alight with tastes, smells, visions, sensations. Sweet, lemon cream bursting on your tongue from a festival pie. Dazy, midday sun warming your skin after walking in the shade for some time. Sinking into freshly laundered bedding after a long day at work.

Your body melts under the wash of feeling and Natsuki catches you with one scaly finger. You hug the digit instinctively and he carefully drags you to his other hand, placing you in his palm. You shudder breathlessly and press a hand to your forehead.

“W-what…” You take a deep breath as the sensation clears away. “What was that?” Natsuki shifts his head to the side and hums lowly.

"S-sorry… When you mentioned that you've been thinking of me, I couldn't help but suddenly feel… as if I really could spend forever with you." You blush immediately and gawk at him, eyes wide.

"What, uh… what exactly do you mean by spending it with me…?"

"You know~" Natsuki singsongs and traces the end of his thumb claw up your legs before lifting you and pressing you to his cheek. You stutter quietly, scrabbling at his paw in surprise and the rush in your system from the unfamiliar feeling of being lifted so high, so easily. As you sink against his scales, you hear a purr-like sound thunder up from his chest. "Seeing each other every day! And watching the stars together… Oh!" He smiles a toothy, dragon smile. "I have to take you to meet all my friends! Especially Syo-chan. He's so cute and small~ I'll be able to invite you both to stay on my hoard while we watch the stars!"

As he prattles on with increasingly obscure and fanciful suggestions, you can't help but wonder if he really told you the whole truth about the mist, or if he really meant his suggestion of staying together so innocently, after all… but you’re helpless against the warmth he exudes. Even beyond your surprise, you feel a swelling in your chest and a sweet, peaceful buzz along your spine. It’s almost as if you’re feeling the same sensation he described as you were petting him before.

All in all, you can’t really complain.

⁂

The pair of you continue catching up as the sun sets. At times, you wonder whether Syo or one of the others will come back to check on you, but as soon as the thoughts spring up, they’re ebbed away again by Natsuki’s genial disposition. He asks you questions about how your journey ended, what you’ve been doing in the time since he last saw you. It’s strange; despite years having passed since you met him, he talks about it like it’s only been a fortnight or so. As your conversation passes back and forth easily, the sun dips to the edge of the mountain, lilac twilight overtakes the sky, and the lake and bathes you both in purple. After a while, Natsuki’s eyes widen as he notices the time.

“It seems to be getting late…” He hums in disappointment. “I was enjoying seeing all the birds today… but!” He turns his head to peer at you with visible glee. “Do you know what this means? We can go to my hoard and you can see the stars. Oh…” He pauses as he hears your stomach grumble faintly. “Perhaps we should find you something to eat first…. All right!” You’re about to ask what he plans to do, but a cloud of colorful smoke pours off of him, obscuring him from vision even though you can still feel his grip on you. You cough and splutter, narrowing your eyes and waving your hands.

“N-Natsuki?!”

It’s not long before the air clears again and you—once more—feel your face warm as you realize it’s no longer a dragon before you but the man you met first. Natsuki beams at you as he keeps you tightly-held around your waist, his eyes scrunching up cutely.

“Are you surprised? I look very different like this, don’t I? But look!” He squeezes you in an iron-gripped hug. “It’s so much better for being close, isn’t it? Now I can hold you with all of me!” Your heart skips several beats at his words and you splutter, half bewildered and half smiling. You pat his back where you can reach and agree with him that it’s better if only to encourage him to loosen his hold just a bit. He does so, but your settling exhale is short-lived as he merely dips down to scoop you into a princess carry. Before you can even respond, he presses his forehead to yours, laughing quietly, and waves his hand.

You appear in an entirely new environment: a large dining hall, lined with beautiful sconces and a large fire pit in the center. There is a bustling energy around you and it takes only a moment to notice the group of the dragons you’d briefly met before are seated or loitering around you. Natsuki adjusts his grip on you comfortably and sings.

“Hi~!”

Chaos erupts. Heads snap in your direction. Syo, as soon as you see him, splutters in his drink as the jet-haired man’s eyes flash at him.

“You left them alone? After earlier?”

The man with the starry robe passes by and lightly brings the blade of his hand down on Syo’s head, frowning. “We told you to watch over the human until further instruction. Kurusu.” Syo grabs the top of his head with a pained wince.

“O-oi, Hijirikawa…! One of my circles erupted. It was an emergency!”

“And having a human in our midst isn’t?”

The orange-haired man, sitting at the end of the dining table, laughs into a hand, swirling a tall glass in his other. “Typical Shorty,” he mutters. Syo stands up, slamming his hands on the table as he glares down the length of it.

“Say that again? I’ve told you I’m not—” “Syo~!” Natsuki says brightly, approaching the table with you still bundled into his arms. The others each stiffen as you’re brought closer, as if you might be more dangerous than them. However, Natsuki only sits down on the bench beside Syo. “Will you watch the stars with us later?”

Syo looks nervous. “I… I dunno about tha—”

“Wait, wait.” The jet-haired man breathes irritably, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Natsuki." He looks up at Natsuki flatly.

"Mm? Tokiya?"

Tokiya (you assume?) blinks slowly, his sleek, black tail lashing subtly against the floor. "We need to know how this human knows your name." Natsuki’s face lights up in excitement before Hijirikawa sets a gentle, elegant hand on his shoulder.

“Shinomiya. It’d be best if we discussed away from the influence they could be having on you,” he says gently. You look up at him and his violet eyes slide your way, narrow but not necessarily judgemental. Under such a gaze, you suddenly feel like a child, so you say nothing as Natsuki is led away by the stoic pair. Watching them sit in a huddle together at the far end of the table, Syo sighs and gestures for you to sit beside him and—having no other options—you sink down beside him.

“Natsuki brought you here to eat, right?”

You blink and smile as good-naturedly as you can, considering the situation. “That’s pretty perceptive.” Syo turns pink and shrugs awkwardly as he takes a piece of white chalk from his clothes and begins to draw some symbols on the tabletop.

“I’ve read a lot about humans. Plus, Natsuki knows more than he lets on. He wants to take care of you, too, I bet.”

You hum, watching him with tired interest. “Actually… can I ask you something about that? I… I still don’t know what’s going on here, really, but he’s said some things and…” Syo lifts a brow, pausing his scribbling for a moment.

“What kind of things? Natsuki… eh, he talks a lot. He can be kinda… head in the clouds.”

“W-well…” You feel sheepish about it now, but your curiosity wins out in the end. “He says things that… could be taken romantically, among humans… but then he talks about me like I’m… a pet?” Syo snorts and slaps the table over the symbols he’s drawn and you almost fall off your seat when an array of food appears in their place. He waves at it all vaguely and tucks his chalk away again.

“Eat up. Anyway, that’s kinda how he is, so it’s hard to say. He’s never courted anyone before, I can tell ya that.”

“O-oh…?” You blurt while gingerly assembling a plate from several of the dishes. It all looks fairly normal, which you’re a bit intrigued by. Where did it come from? Or did he bring it into the world by magic alone…? You glance at him as you begin to pick at your food. “Wh… why’s that, you think?” Suddenly, Syo looks nervous and coughs as he hurriedly assembles his own plate.

“It’s… kind of a long story….”

You look back to where Natsuki is flanked on either side by Tokiya and Hijirikawa. He keeps glancing between them as they speak with rigid motions, looking a bit like a scolded dog. Your eyes meet and his look immediately softens, lower eyelids bunching up with a faint, reassuring smile. Even his tail reacts, lifting from the stone floor and rippling its feathers hopefully. You bite your lip to suppress a smile and wave. His eyes scrunch up the rest of the way and he lifts both hands to wave cheerfully before Tokiya snaps his fingers in front of Natsuki’s face… and dread shoots through to your stomach.

It’s just the smallest instant, but Natsuki’s eyes flash with something… an energy you’ve certainly never seen from a human before. It looks cold and distant and predatory… like seeing lightning crackle beyond storm clouds. You swallow heavily, but then it’s all gone the next second, replaced by Natsuki’s usual innocent look. You turn back to Syo.

“I think I’d like to hear it…” You mumble. However, when Syo opens his mouth, the orange-haired man slumps onto the bench across from you with a melodic sigh. You and Syo both look at him questioningly and he shrugs with his hands, closing his eyes lazily.

“Such a cold reception, you’ll hurt my feelings. I just wanted to introduce myself to our dear, new companion.” He shoots you a suave wink and extends a hand to you. “Ren Jinguji. The Clinohumite of the Starish Weyr.” You take his hand and he leans across the table to ghost his lips over your knuckles. You shiver and he allows you to pull your hand back. Syo rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, sure, like that’s really all it is….”

Ren’s eyes narrow, distantly cool. “Perhaps I also want to make sure you aren’t spilling secrets, Shorty. I, for one, don’t care who knows what about us, but I don’t want to spend an evening getting lectured by Hijirkawa because you’re too loose with a pretty face.”

“‘Shor’—!” Syo splutters. “Listen, I’m just trying to make things easier for us. It’s not like we officially decided to lock ourselves up here, like those guys.” He nods in your direction. “What if they can help?”

“What’s a human going to do?” Ren glances at you. “Uh… no offense.” You hunch your shoulders noncommittally, wishing you could just get some answers. Unfortunately, Syo can only pout at Ren’s question and finally lowers his head without saying anything. Ren hums absently and nods to you. “Enjoy your stay… little lamb.” He gives a vague wave and slips off the bench, slinking away back to where he’d been sitting before.

It’s not long after that Natsuki is released from his questioning and happily bounds over to you and you do your best to hide your growing trepidation while he chatters happily, seemingly unphased by whatever had occurred before.

⁂

When you’re done eating, you look up to see Natsuki gazing at you fondly, his chin resting in his hands in a childish way. He looks cute with the little, curling tendrils of his hair pressing up against his cheeks and between his fingers like that. His eyes glitter and you find your heart rate speeding up before you look away, feeling a rare case of shyness overtake you.

“Y… you’re staring…”

Natsuki hums and nods brightly. “We get visitors very rarely! It’s exciting to see how carefully you eat the food… and how adorably your face lights up when something tastes good.” He peers at you through contentedly-slivered eyes. “It makes me want to cook so many things for you and see all your expressions.” You meet his gaze, more boldly than you have all day, almost as if to challenge him to continue. He doesn’t look away, only stares at you equally unabashedly, his eyes almost hypnotic in the depth of their color and the unquestionable happiness he feels from making eye contact with you.

You’re only able to hold his gaze for a minute.

“S-so…” You cough after breaking his gaze and look at the table. “You mentioned watching the stars?” He stands so abruptly that you squeak and lean back, bumping into Syo and rousing him from his post-meal drowsy state. Natsuki offers you his hand in a surprisingly elegant gesture.

“Please join me, won’t you?” He tilts his head and smiles at you. “Finally, I’ll be able to share my most valuable treasure with you.” Syo snorts from behind you and then crosses his arms and looks up at Natsuki, raising an eyebrow.

“Are you really sure you want me uh… intruding on your….” Natsuki steps around you to bend down, throwing an arm across both Syo’s and your shoulders and humming a pleased, high-pitched sound.

“Of course~! I want to spend the night with my favorite people!”

“F-favorite?” You blink in surprise. “But… this is only our second time meeting…” Natsuki hums with a smile, pulling back to clap his hands together and fix you in an earnest look.

“Mm~! And I can already tell we’re going to be great friends!” Saying this, he slips his arms under your knees and along your back before you can protest and gathers you to his chest, turning to grin over his shoulder. “Coming, Syo~?” Syo grumbles but gets to his feet anyway, scratching at the back of his head.

“Yeah... Fine, fine.”

Natsuki takes you through winding halls, just like you’d journeyed with Syo earlier in the day, with Syo following close behind. For a few minutes, you wonder if he’s going to take you back out to the area above the weyr, but then you recall he’d mentioned showing you his hoard and if there’s one thing you know about dragons, it’s that their hoards are always hidden away safely. As you might expect, he takes a sudden turn down a hallway and you arrive at a massive, circular door that’s painted a cheery yellow. You can’t help but smile when you see it’s inlaid with a pattern of bronze vines and ducklings. Natsuki adjusts his hold so you’re safely cradled in one arm for a moment while he waves his hand and the doors creak open. Over his shoulder, you see Syo frown for a moment, but then Natsuki is hugging you again, giggling and dancing you around in a circle as the dim hall suddenly changes to a bonfire-bright glow. You look around… and your jaw drops in amazement.

His room, lit by a sea of yellow, white and pale-green floating lanterns, is… more than anything you could imagine.

The ceilings are tall enough to hold him in his dragon form and dusted with varying shades of moss that follow the curved, etched arches and frieze-like carvings along the ceiling. The far walls are barely walls at all, mostly just open archways out to the mountain. You see the shapes of deer and other twilight creatures flitting about the edge of the room without fear, grazing on the grass that seems to be encroaching on the room proper. However, what’s most amazing to you is the alarmingly vast pile of plush toys, pillows, cushions, and blankets in every size, shape, and color filling the room. Your breath gets lost on the gossamer, lacy curtains that art strung up in seemingly random places, yet it all draws your eye to the deeply-colored ceiling itself, so dark you can’t tell if it’s pure black or not.

“Welcome to my room…!” Natsuki stops spinning and looks at you with a bright smile. “It’s full of my favorite things, so of course I had to bring you here.” You splutter quietly, unsure how to respond, but Natsuki is as carefree as ever and continues walking until he finds a good place atop the pile of plushies. He sets you down, waiting for you to get your footing. “Please get comfortable! I’ll make the stars appear!” You turn to Syo, who has crawled up on his own on your other side and is already plopping down in the arms of some giant, pink, round plush. He yawns cutely, his tail curling over his feet, and you find you don’t want to disturb him with more questions, so instead, you settle down yourself. Natsuki waves his hands over the room like a conductor of a grand orchestra and you watch as the curtains all come undone, lowering into sheets of fine fabric. The lights dim and, near the true center of the room, a strange table begins to shift. A panel opens in the top and a bronze globe slowly emerges from the center. When the room is properly dark, Natsuki lies down beside you, close enough that the ends of his hair brush yours. He sighs contentedly and waves one final finger upwards.

You gasp as the previously-inky ceiling comes to life with a sea of stars, constellations, galaxies… It’s as if you can see the real sky clearer than you’ve ever seen it. You glance down to the globe, seeing it glitter as it turns in its frame. “Star projector,” Syo mumbles from beside you. “One of Natsuki’s greatest accomplishments as a magic user; it can match the sky from anywhere in the world with a wave of his hand.” You’re rendered speechless, only able to stare up in true amazement.

Time passes in relative silence aside from your gasps of awe when a handful of shooting stars streak across the display. Natsuki remains still beside you, his hands folded over his stomach and tail tip flicking occasionally. You glance his way every now and again, getting caught on the way the stars reflect in his eyes. Eventually, Syo falls asleep, leaving your spirit to flutter shyly at the thought of being alone with Natsuki so close. After a while, Natsuki draws your attention with a hum.

“May I confess something?”

Your heart skips a beat. “S… sure.”

His lips curl faintly, but his eyes remain on the stars overhead. “Perhaps… it isn’t unfair for the others to worry about my intentions towards you.” Your mouth goes dry at such an ominously-worded statement.

“W-what?”

His eyes slide to meet yours, his expression a strange mix of gentle… and almost concerned. “I’ve never courted, before, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t yearned for it every now and then. The idea of… someone who I love beyond all else… and who loves me. It’d be…” He shifts bashfully. “It’d be lovely to have someone to experience this with… who doesn’t just humor me. W-who accepts all of me.” You’re still debating what to say when his eyes flash green in the darkness and he looks at you intently. “Could… Do you perhaps think… that person could be you?”

Your heart stutters and you lick your lips, hands flexing nervously at your sides. His stare bores into you.

“I’m not entirely sure why, but when I’m with you… I feel like I don’t have to worry anymore.”

“Natsuki….” You want to tell him that it’s way too soon to ask a question like that, that you can’t possibly know what you can be for him since it’s only your second meeting, and sure it’s been incredible, but you’re just a human and this is a very different world than you could ever dream up and you’re still not entirely certain what’s happening…

But you are interested. In fact, you’ve never felt so right about hearing such a thing from someone before. However, before you can give him a proper answer, Syo yawns again, shifting around in his sleep to curl around the plush he’s snuggling, and Natsuki loses focus entirely. His face lights up at the sight of his smaller friend and he all but pounces across you to catch Syo around the waist, squeeing about how adorable the smaller dragon is. Syo wakes up in a frenzy and you watch them wrestle, half amused and half still flustered by the conversation that had been cut short.

It takes you too long to see Natsuki’s glasses slip, bumped by Syo’s flailing hands, and fall into the pile of Natsuki’s hoard.

All at once, the very earth seems to shatter apart. The temperature of the room drops as an explosion of electric yellow light fills the room. You hear Syo shout, voice still raw from sleep, and you’re blown back, down the pile of plushies. The air seems to crackle with a pulse of energy as a cry rises above the noise. You hear the stone floor cracking and you scrabble frantically for a handhold in the pile until you manage to hook your hands onto something and try to look up.

Natsuki has collapsed to his knees and is clutching his head as he writhes and convulses in place, his eyes glowing green and his scales rippling with light as an aura forms around him, pulsing out and in with a dull, audible thud. You watch as light flickers through his clothes, as the air seems to split them into frayed holes at the seams and thinner parts. The shout that seems so unending pours from him in anguished streaks, so deafening you can scarcely hear your own thoughts. You think you yell his name, but you can’t be certain. Over the cacophony, you hear Syo shouting for help and names, some familiar and some unfamiliar. Mixed into his words, you hear strains of him calling for you, asking if you’re all right, but all you can think of is to try to help. You think if you can get ahold of his glasses, you might be able to help, to put a stop to this like you saw the others do earlier. If you can only get close…

You begin the arduous process of climbing, dragging yourself up by a fearful, iron grip even as the aura surrounding Natsuki seems to fight you every inch. The air claws at your clothes and limbs; something beyond the perception of sight shoves at you as if to push you away from him. Your eyes water from the pain of the blinding light, from the horrific sound of his screams. You’re almost relieved when you crest the top of the pile, believing you’re making true progress, when Natsuki’s cries form words.

“No! Leave them alone!”

You look at him, attempting to see through the light. Does he mean for you to ignore the glasses? His body shakes, spine contorting as his face twists.

“Don’t hurt them!”

You watch, horrified, as his head creaks in your direction, eyes overtaken by the green glow.

“Why shouldn’t I?” A voice that is not entirely his own leaves his lips. His face shifts back to terror.

“Please! Please, I want to keep them!”

You shiver, burrowing into the blankets in fear.

And then, he smiles.

“Keep them?” It thunders in your head… and everything goes dark.

⁂

You open your eyes to see you’re in a glen at night; the moon is bright and full and low-hanging over the horizon, and all is quiet. There’s a small breeze, warm like a caress, but your heart is still pounding in your chest from the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

“Keep them?” The low voice repeats quietly… and you look up to see Natsuki. Except it isn’t Natsuki… or at least, it doesn’t look just like him. The eyes are too narrow, the hair too wild, the expression too cold. Not-Natsuki tilts his head, glaring at you in a coolly appraising manner.

“Who are you?” You ask. Nothing more than a faint breath.

“Satsuki,” he replies flatly and takes a step toward you. You try to move, but you’re frozen in place like the worst kind of nightmare. He stands in front of you, only inches away, and then prowls around you in a circle like a pacing wolf. “And who are you? Why does Natsuki want to keep you so badly?”

“I-I don’t know.” You lower your eyes, feeling your knees tremble. “We’ve only met a second time today, but it’s… it’s been wonderful. I’m not sure how he feels but… I feel like we could be good if… if we stayed together.” Satsuki pauses and fixes you in a predatory, inhuman stare.

“Oh?” He chuckles bitterly. “Sure, sure. Humans fall for dragons easy.” He growls softly. “Maybe dragons fall for humans easy, too….” Suddenly, his hand flashes out, sinking into your hair and pulling your head up to look at him harshly. His claws prickle your scalp and your eyes open just to terrified slivers; you’re afraid to resist at all. Satsuki scoffs. “Yeah, you’re his type. Even looking at you, I…” He catches himself and flinches. “...I definitely can sense something beyond your humanity…” You frown weakly.

“Like what?”

He pulls his hand away and shakes it like he’s just brushed it through a campfire. He hisses under his breath. “Like… like you’re just this… void. A magic sinkhole. A drain in the magic plane.” He curses under his breath, remarking about a stinging sensation. Suddenly, his eyes go wide and he looks at you again. “A conduit.” He laughs, although it’s a sharp sound, more resembling an exclamation of surprise. “You’re a conduit.”

“W… what’s a conduit?”

He grins wolfishly. “You’re our ticket out of this pit. Mine and Nat’s. That band of unimpressive idiots callin’ themselves Starish. With you…” He trails off and reaches for you again, poking your forehead roughly. “We can finally seal all the leaks in Natsuki… keep him from hurting anymore. From breaking things.”

You ask him to explain… and he does.

He explains that Natsuki didn’t hatch quite right. Something scarred the egg before he could and left scores in it that weakened the innate ropes to the magic plane all dragons are born with. When Natsuki was born, he was born unable to control how much magic could flow through him at a time, resulting in a destructive force… and the creation of Satsuki, who was Natsuki’s subconscious’ last-ditch effort in protecting those around him.

It makes your heart throb with sympathy.

He was ripped from his parents, contained only by the Queen’s Court until a proper group of dragons could form that would be strong enough to keep Satsuki from taking over entirely each time Natsuki’s only protection—a simple, crystal barrier in the form of glasses—managed to fail… and so they had lived for hundreds of years, bound eternally to Natsuki’s care… and Natsuki to them.

Naturally, resentment bred well in such an environment, which only served to strengthen Satsuki’s anger… and thus, the destruction each time he was given control.

When Satsuki finishes explaining, you ask him what being a conduit means.

“A human that absorbs magic,” he grouses. “At a heavy rate. Most of the great Spellweavers through history have been conduits, though… I dunno if they knew it themselves.” You fall silent, head rushing with the overwhelming revelation of knowledge. He looks away, seemingly calmer than he was at the start. “Y’know… If you stay with Natsuki like he wants… you could probably learn a lot. If… that were somethin’ you were interested in. I know it’d mean he’d be able to leave, since you’d be able to keep him in check. Probably… would go a long way to makin’ him happy.”

You stare at him, watching as all the harsh lines of him soothe away the longer he stands near you. He closes his eyes and sighs.

“Just a suggestion.”

You blink and then the glen is gone. You’re lying on top of Natsuki’s hoard in complete silence, the only thing lighting the room being the moon filtering in through the curtains. You shift around unsurely, expecting your body to hurt, but you… Oddly, you feel better than before. You feel like you’ve had a week of good rest, like you’re body is more fit than it’s been in years. You rub your eyes and look around, heart thudding in shock when you see Natsuki, face down in the cushions a few feet away from you. In the distance, Syo’s voice is echoing through the weyr, still calling for help. You crawl to Natsuki and do your best to turn him over, cautiously, as though the energy might erupt again at any moment.

He groans quietly, face wrinkling up and smoothing again as he comes to and opens his eyes blearily. Belatedly, you realize his glasses are still nowhere to be found, but… but this is Natsuki, right? His draconic pupils widen, then narrow, then widen again before adjusting to the light and focusing on your face. Immediately, his expression melts into adoring relief.

“You’re okay,” he breathes, a large hand lifting to weakly cup your face. “Thank goodness… thank goodness he left you alive.” You smile, leaning into his touch.

“Yes… he was actually… very helpful.”

Natsuki looks distant for a few moments before his eyes clear, flickering with realization. You’re not sure how, but, looking at him, you’re able to understand that… he knows. He knows everything Satsuki told you while you were inside the magic plane. He breathes a fragile sort of exhale as he pulls you down against his chest, holding you with a far more insistent, mature care than he has all day.

“...will you stay?” He asks. You find your hands settling against his chest, gently fisting into the fabric there.

“I want to,” you admit. “But it’s so strange I… I’m not certain how our future would look together. I’m just a Merchant… and even though I feel more at home here than I ever have, in just a single day….” You tilt your head side to side, contemplating. “I always find myself wanting to travel… but… if what Satsuki said is true…” You lift your eyes to look at him, feeling your face heat. “Then… you could join me. We could go together.” Natsuki looks uncertain at first, brows knitting as he considers your words before his face slowly blooms into joy. He leans forward to nuzzle his forehead with yours; you chuckle at the awkward, gentle bump of his horns on your head.

“Traveling with you… I think I could enjoy that forever.”

You giggle softly and pat his hair. “Gives us plenty of time to get to know each other, hm? Who knows what can happen. It really might turn into forever.” Natsuki’s cheeks tinge pink and a puff of yellow mist streams out of his lips, sending you both into a very flustered fit that bleeds into pleased giggles.

Starish finds you like that minutes later, still hugging and excitedly chatting about all that the future can hold with a shared hope, shared anticipation in your hearts.

You get the feeling that everything is going to be okay, as long as you have him.

End

#uta no prince sama #utapri #dragon au #Shinomiya Natsuki #Shinomiya Satsuki #dragon!natsuki #dragon!satsuki #dragon!starish

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mx-ishikawa · 4 years

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F/O February Day 1: Reverse Self Ship

welcome to F/O February y’all!! :D for this prompt, I decided to do a little drabble! because I felt it would be easier to explain that way XD” honestly the reverse selfship AU is so good??? so here’s my contribution for today! XD (warning for brief mentions of self-harm and other injuries, other than that this should be a perfectly safe read!)

“Rex Rex Rex! It’s on!! Quick, we gotta catch it!!!”

“Okay Emmet, I’m coming, jeez!”

Rex hoisted himself off his bed with a low grunt as Emmet scurried to the living room couch. He knew how excited his brother got over his favorite show. Four years ago, popular sitcom Where Are My Pants? had been his all-time favorite television series, but then his heart was stolen by a quirky cartoon called Light in the Darkness that he stumbled upon by chance. The show followed an adventurous, tomboyish young woman dubbed Light and her interactions in the secret world of monsters of all kinds, fighting the evil ones and befriending the good ones. There was quite an uproar within the fandom when the titular lead came out as agender a year before, and quite a bit of discourse since she still considered herself female in a vaguer sense. But none of that mattered to Emmet. He loved the character for her personality, and couldn’t care less about her gender or lack thereof.

Oh, he loved her alright… his Tumblr was filled with screenshots and fanart of Light, he had all the merch of her he could afford, he even had a plush of her, which he was currently holding in his arms. He was immediately attached to her as soon as he got into the series; at first he thought she was just a comfort character, but before long, he realized he was actually flat-out in love with her. He had always gushed about her, and occasionally other characters, to Rex, and constantly pushed him to watch it. Rex always listened to Emmet’s gushing and supported his love for the character, but for the longest time, he didn’t get around to watching it. He was in a terrible mental place at the time; he engaged in risky and destructive habits, he drank, he smoked, he self-harmed, he got in trouble with the law, and developed other unhealthy coping mechanisms for his insecurities and mental issues. He was a troubled soul who was paranoid that their mutual circle of friends hated him and that he’d never be good enough for anyone. He distanced himself from everyone he loved—even his dear brother Emmet, with whom he had always been joined at the hip before. It was only when he got involved in a reckless motorcycle accident after an argument with Emmet that Rex realized just how much danger he was putting himself in, and how much he was worrying his brother. After that, he vowed to better himself and get some help. He also moved in with Emmet as his insistence, saying he wouldn’t worry as much and that he could help Rex get on track. That turned out to work like a charm, and he was happier than he’d been in a long time ever since.

It was only then that he was finally able to watch an episode of his brother’s favorite show with him. He didn’t know exactly what he was expecting from the cartoon, but it certainly surpassed whatever those expectations were. Rex was surprised that Light in the Darkness contained more adult-oriented humor, as Emmet typically didn’t watch those kinds of shows. And he also understood why Emmet loved Light so much—she was a goofy, funny, charming, kind, and humble hero who knew what it was like to feel like a nobody or that you’d never be good enough. It also happened to be an episode in which Light tried to talk to and reform one of the main villains, and she gave a clumsy but convincing speech about how she could relate to the villains struggles, but wished he would handle them in a way that benefited both parties. Rex didn’t want to admit it, but that damn speech pulled at his heartstrings. And by the end of the episode, Rex found himself smitten with Light as well. At first he tried to hide his feelings from Emmet, thinking he would be angry with him for encroaching on his selfship. But Emmet did find out eventually—and he was ecstatic. He was beyond happy to share her with his brother, as that meant they could gush about her to each other more often, and soon the brothers agreed that Light had enough room in her heart for the both of them. After coming to that conclusion, they created their own self-shipping sideblog that they co-modded together.

Now Emmet wasn’t exactly the creative type, and sometimes he was jealous of all the great artists and writers within the community, but he did enjoy remaking the three of them in Picrews and other character customization games. He also gushed about Light a lot, using lots of capitals, exclamation points, and heart emojis in said gushes. Rex, on the other hand, was beginning to dabble in photo editing, so he took a screenshot of Light and Photoshopped her into a picture of him and Emmet, among other such edits. He gushed about her too, of course, but his were more straightforward and consistent to whatever specific quality of hers he was talking about, with less weird emojis.

Neither of them told anybody in their respective workplaces about their love. Emmet tried way too hard to fit in and was already seen as weird despite that; he didn’t want to add onto that as a grown man who was hopelessly in love with a cartoon character. Meanwhile Rex didn’t give a damn about fitting in or what his coworkers thought of him, he just wasn’t the type to open up to people he didn’t know well enough. However, their mutual circle of friends knew very well about their selfships with Light, and they all shipped them. Their best friend Lucy had even created a few artworks of the three of them, which they both proudly displayed on their blog (with proper credit, of course). They had been doing this for almost a year, and at this point they were perfectly content opting out dating real people in favor of shipping themselves with a fictional character.

“It’s a new episode!!” Emmet squealed, plopping onto the couch and kicking his feet excitedly. “I can’t wait to see what she does today!”

“You think she’s finally gonna give Lord Beelzebub what’s coming to him?” Rex asked.

“I hope so! Now that guy is a real jerk.” Emmet puffed his cheeks out. This particular villain was beyond hope of reformation—Light tried, multiple times, but it was clear that he wouldn’t be happy until his evil deeds were done. Emmet pouted very briefly over this fact before perking up to sing and shimmy in his seat to the theme song. Rex chuckled at how excitable his brother could be. He kept his mouth shut after that, as Emmet hated when people tried to talk over his show.

The episode started out with Light hanging out with some of her monster friends and being her usual dorky self, but that only lasted a couple minutes before she was alerted of some other villain’s plan. The scene then transitioned to a dramatic montage of Light putting on cool-looking armor, then panning from her toes to her head as she heroically posed in the armor.

“Wow…” Emmet swooned. Rex gave a low whistle.

She only stood like that for a few brief seconds before random pieces of the armor suddenly fell off and clattered to the ground, much to Light’s dismay. “Aw damnit, no! Get back here!” Light complained as she crouched to pick up the fallen pieces. This elicited a giggle from Emmet and a chuckle from Rex. “Dork…” Rex lovingly muttered.

By the next scene, she has duct tape all over her armor, making the brothers laugh again. She and her monster friends were devising a plan of attack when Emmet’s phone buzzed. “Shush,” he said, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. He was mesmerized as Light led her friends into battle, but before they could see just who they were up against…

“Gahh, commercials,” Rex groaned, muting the TV. “This is why watching things online is so much better.”

“Yeah, but this is a new episode, we gotta catch it as it airs and support the creators!” Emmet argued.

“Yeah okay. Aren’t you gonna answer that text message?”

“I suppose I could since it’s a commercial break.” Emmet reached into his jeans pocket. “But whoever it was should no better than to bother me during my show!” He pouted as he checked his phone. “Oh, it’s Lucy…” He opened the message, and a mere second went by before Emmet cracked up laughing.

“Must’ve been a good one,” Rex chuckled.

“Oh my gosh, Rex, look at this!” Emmet laughed, shoving the phone in Rex’s face. It turned out Lucy sent a meme that read “when you storm a dragon’s cave and discover it’s hoarding mac and cheese” with a redraw of Light in the “it’s free real estate” meme. People who weren’t fans of the show wouldn’t understand the meme, but it made Rex burst into raucous laughter.

“Oh my god!” he roared. “She would totally say that!”

“She would!” Emmet giggled. “That’s amazing.”

“Our datefriend is high-key a dork,” Rex laughed. That statement sent Emmet into another fit of giggles.

“She’s our dork though.”

“Hell yeah.”

“I just wish I knew her real name in full.”

Rex sat up, surprised. “What do you mean, ‘in full’?”

“Well, remember in Clash of the Chimeras when she was signing the form thing for that order? She could only write the letter K before she got interrupted by the gremlin breaking things in the other room. So that means her real name must start with a K, and we don’t know anything else about it.”

Rex nodded. “And you would rather call her that because…?”

“Because it would help me feel closer to her.” Emmet held his plush a little tighter.

“Well, you could always give her a headcanon name. or just call her K until her real name is fully revealed, if that ever happens.”

Emmet pondered this for a moment. “I suppose that could work.” Suddenly, he perked up. “Oh! It’s back on!” He hurriedly un-muted the TV and his eyes were glued to the screen once more.

Soon enough, Light and her friends were battling the villain, and at some point, her left gauntlet fell off. Emmet gasped as the villain used this opportunity to slash his claw across her arm.

“Oh no…” Emmet whimpered. Rex lightly traced his own scar on his shoulder from his motorcycle accident. The two were at the edge of their seats until the end of the fight scene—the villain was defeated, but Light was still bleeding. Her worried friends crowded around her, but she still seemed in high spirits.

“Guys, I’m fine!” she insisted.

“You’re bleeding,” a friend argued.

“Just out of my arm. I’ve bled from far worse places.”

Emmet made a choked-out noise in surprise.

“Oh my god,” Rex laughed.

Still, Light let her monster friends bandage her up. Luckily, there were plenty more laughs to be had by the end of the episode. As the credits rolled, Emmet kicked his feet excitedly again.

“Ahh, that was so awesome!”

“As it always is.”

“Poor Light though. She doesn’t deserve any nasty scars.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Rex agreed. “But it won’t get her down. Knowing her, she’ll probably be proudly toting it and bragging about her battle by the next episode.”

“Yeah, probably,” Emmet chuckled. “But if she was real, or if I lived in her world, I’d take care of every single injury she got and kiss it better!” His loving smile gradually morphed into a longing frown. “I’d give anything for that.”

Rex patted Emmet’s back. “Me too, kid. Me too.”

#my writing #self ship #self shipping #self shipping community #au #reverse self ship #selfship au #self ship fic #reverse self ship au #f/o february #fictional other february #f/o: Emmet #f/o: Rex #we're not so different #poly self ship

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freewheelshippin · 4 years

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30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme!

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen!

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art?

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao)

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol)

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer )

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.)

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club)

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself.

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ???

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance!

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs.

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3)

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...)

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!!

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you???

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!!

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much???

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda)

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too.

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best.

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind!

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking .........

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!)

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line!

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough!

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao.

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy.

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point )

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say.

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around!

#iron maiden & rocka rolla #memery #long post

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koronbain-tenshidere · 4 years

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This post is addressed for my followers who are interested by my stuff!

If you don't care about that, it's okay: just ignore it! Thank you in advance!

I want to create 3 sideblogs...

I have this idea on my mind since not long time, but I really want to do it.

Here the list what I want, the most important at the less:

In first, for only my art and edits

As you can see I am an artist and editor. Showing my works was my first intention in this main blog but because of my lack of my stuff, I reblog what I like from others. In conclusion, only 5% of my blog is my works.

Creating this blog could be good as my portfolio even if I only do fanart and fan-made. I want to show what I can for becoming infographist, or any job where I can draw and edit!

I don't create yet this blog because of my pseudo: My initial pseudo on tumblr was just "koronbain" for after adding "-tenshidere". And so I can't name again my new blog by my first pseudo while I want to be known by that. I should see what I can do about it....

In second, for the rest of my imagination

What I mean by that, it's about mainly self-insert and specially self ship: I have so much ideas and SO MANY drawings about it. The problem is I'm really shy and some of my thoughts could be juged morally cringy... but since I discovered some posts of @ dark-selfship-imagines (a blog that I recommend you!), I think that I can show my drawings without problem. Fuck off in advance all haters.

I want to add in this blog also:

- all my OCs (that I want to repost or reblog from my first sideblog? Hmmmm 🤔) so we can rp, even if I am not a big fan of that

- all my ships (crack, rare etc...),

- fanfictions (that I write and from others like x reader)

- self ships imagine and positivity (All self ships I rebloged here will be reblog in this sideblog.)

In thirst: For my love on angels

As you can see (again), I DEEPLY love angels!!! I even put a tag "angels" where a species or just a person with wings is present.

I searched many times a blog about angels for having only aesthetic and random pictures which are white, brilliant and often wings etc... or just posts on random characters that they call them angels as a nickname.

It's good! But not what I wanted...

I want a blog where it's about angels, not only from the religion like the bible or coran but also from animes, video games etc..

Like Pit from Kid Icarus because he has white wings and he's a protector but also Whis from Dragon Ball Super who doesn't have wings but has to protect his god of destruction.

But what about dark angels? Despite they are technically demons, as long they have dark wings I think it's totally okay, like Dark Pit from Kid Icarus

The problem is now the physic.

What about half bird and half human? It should be considered as angels just because of the wings on their back?

It s kind of hard for me....

What do you think about these sideblogs?

Say honestly what you think by comments or reblog!

Thank you in advance! 😳😳😳