#xiv rambling

[system-of-a-feather]

To preface this, this is not at all meant to be a response, retort or anything to the post on this topic that had us internally talking about it and quite frankly, that post is fair and they have a right to say it, so our direct commentary on that will end there

But when the topic of "unforgivable parts" come up, Riku and I always look at one another and go ".... ehhhh" and have a short sentimental giggle cause as far as parts doing horrible shit to another, we both have piles of dirt on the other that we wouldnt be wrong at all for being angry at each other about. I'm a lot more of a typical sounding "ex persecutor" (I dont ID with the term because I dont agree with the term as a role in the first place beyond system community common verbage) but a case could be made that Riku was by far a worse one - a thing theyd admit. The whole dynamic of ours is why we threw the role "persecutor" out the window and changed it to "persecutory behavior".

But anyways, we really fucked eachother up pretty bad and as far as other "persecutory" parts go, we've had some really really shitty internal interactions, one of which can be partially "blamed" for the reason "Riku" as a part is a subsystem - but honestly? I don't think our system has ever found something that was "unforgivable" if solely on the account that there really doesn't seem to be anything that we could do to one another that would allow us to foster that sort of self hate at this point in our healing as a system.

That being said, not all systems are equipt to handle the more extreme persecutors, not all systems are able to hold the understanding that even their most "atrocious parts" are still them, and just in general, the mind set is not practical or fit for every system in every situation and while theoretically you shouldnt force persecutors silent or whatever, chasing theoretical ideals when living as a system is honestly how you probably ended up with DID.

The need to live to a theoretical healthy standard and best practices is good and important to keep in mind, but you have to leave space for the reality of the moment as well as the genuine experiences that come with it and work with what you genuinely can give at the moment. Trying to work above that, 9/10 pushes and reinforces an EP/ANP divide that is foundational in DID so its important to learn to accept that while you know the theoretical healthy and best thing to do, from time to time you have to accept that you AREN'T perfect and can't live to an ideal perfect standard of healing and that you first have to focus on the reality of your moment and what you can bear right now.

You are allowed to experience your mental illness as a mental illness and honestly, people who criticize you healing "imperfectly" really need to focus on themselves and their own life rather than people on the internet (exceptions apply imo but thats another topic)

... lol this post went an entirely different way than I intended, cause I was originally planning on talking about persecutors and the nuances of their behavior as I'm our systems "persecutor wrangler" but I think what ended up being said is more important anyways lol

Anyways, thats my gym cardio ramble of the day.

#alter: xiv #persecutor recovery #persecutor alter #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #xiv rambling #xiv rambles #jock posting #cardio rambles #recovery #healing

[haunted-xander]

I made this AAAAGES ago and forgot to post it and now I'm annoyed by how it's rotting away on my phone so here. Bratty teen Thancred being a menace to Fourchenault (and a bad influence on Urianger lol)

#we never see fourchenault & thancred interact in any meaningful way (outside of Group Interaction) and i like to imaginr #its bc fourchenault Did Not Like thancred when they were kids and has resolved to just ignore him now #and thancred-the little bastard that he is-wouldve 100% messed with him on purpose if he had the chance #bc i just KNOW he pulled stunts like this to annoy fourchenault all the time #fourchenault tells him to eat more orderly and thancred gets more messy on purpose yk. he is wired to be petty against stuffy rich kids #also urianger isnt actually being influenced much he has always been down to break the rules if he wants to #hes taught by louisiox thats like a requirement. him & his group of unconventional little smartypants #only reason he went to thancred specifically for help here is bc 1) he knows thancred knows how to easily get onto the roof and #2) hes like idk 13 here so hes still a tiny baby size. hes too short to reach up lol #anyway thats enough silly kid rambling time to tag #fourchenault leveilleur #thancred waters #urianger augurelt #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[shebaa]

My love for the karakul runs deep. Absolute peak sheep design.

#they are the perfect creature #soft #rotund #even under the wool they're a round looking cryptid #thank you ffxiv for giving me this paragon of sheep kind #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #sheeb rambles #mi*

[uldahstreetrat]

Im trying to take note of real world influences in XIV for some projects going forward, like languages used in areas (French names in Ishgard, Roman terms in Garlemald) or like in aesthetics I suppose (like Radz-at-han in particular reminds me of Istanbul), and I'd like to hear others' thoughts about those kinds of influences that they've noticed

(little more context on things im working on under the cut)

right now this has a lot to do with things like stamps lmao I have in fact gotten kinda into stamp collecting now and I'd like to design some for XIV areas based on similar irl counterpart countries? like regular stamps and stuff like a sort of Garlean version of US postal war savings stamps? so having irl countries to reference for stamp styles would be helpful to like figure that stuff out

and honestly all of this is just part of making a physical copy of Q'ihnn's journal more complicated than it needs to be but never let it be said that I dont have a love of unnecessarily dense world building

plus by having a list of reference countries I can also build out other kinds of like, souvenirs? in the journal from the places visited across msq - a lot of things I see people keep in journals, especially travel ones, are stuff like wrappers or other packaging, pieces of maps, receipts (that's its own rabbit hole ive gone down), ticket stubs, and other various little paper things along with photos and drawings (which are much easier to manage in comparison)

cause a lot of this shit doesnt extensively exist within the game often beyond a mention in a stray line of dialogue or two so there's advantages to having irl cultural and historical reference to make something that feels real - plus im often off in lala fantasy land in my head because im stuck at home a lot, im not exactly well traveled, so im sure its easy for me to miss especially like language use in certain areas (I didnt even notice how French Ishgardian names were until someone else made a joke about it, it just doesnt occur to me)

like some of these influences are fairly obvious, right, like Doma and Kugane being Japanese inspired and Greek influence around Sharlayan (which the Greek/Roman dichotomy that Sharlayan and Garlemald have going on is its own whole thing I could go into btw they're so similar yet different in such interesting ways) - but places like Ul'dah?? not a clue. Ala Mhigo? no idea. The Crystarium and Eulmore in the first??? oh I'd put my head through a wall trying to thing of a real world counterpart for reference

granted now having said that someone is going to point out something obvious that I just entirely missed some way or another lmao but like that's why im asking, right? anyway if you have nerd ass thoughts too just hit me up

#ffxiv #ff14 #most of this is rambling cause even i dont know where the fuck im going with this #not that I ever do but ya know #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14

[ooeygooeyghoul]

At work thinking about the WoL taking trips back and forth between the Source and the First just to be the messenger for Thancred and Ryne. I think they'd have a little exchange journal they'd write in to keep each other updated on how they're doing, with Thancred sending the WoL along with gifts Alisaie and Y'shtola helped him choose, and Ryne pressing flowers between the pages and leaving little drawings in blank spaces. I think Thancred's entries would be short and sweet, and he'd struggle on what to write about because he's not good with this whole writing-about-his-thoughts-and-feelings thing, but Ryne would see between the lines and know exactly what he's trying to say. I think Ryne would fill entire pages with what she's learned about the First and how much progress everyone is making. Thancred would always tell the WoL to tell Ryne how proud he is of her, and Ryne would always ask the WoL to make sure Thancred is taking care of himself. I just think that even when they're literally in two different worlds Thancred would try to be the best dad he possibly can to Ryne and I'm obsessed with the WoL going out of their way to make that happen.

#ffxiv #ff14 #final fantasy xiv #rambling #thancred waters #ryne waters #thancred i will literally drop everything im doing and go visit ryne if you asked me too #if you do the moogle delivery quests the wol is already a mailcarrier sooooo #dadcred #shadowbringers #ffxiv shb #shadowbringers spoilers

[hallowed-nebulae]

Bc this has been something I've been wondering a while

#rambles #final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #alphinaud leveilleur #alisaie leveilleur #y'shtola rhul #thancred waters #urianger augurelt #g'raha tia #estinien wyrmblood #estinien varlineau #tataru taru #i hope that's all the tags jdbdidbdjs

[nyaawn]

The biggest thing of them all is, Derplander finally look happy again.

from this

to this

HUZZAH!

#FFXIV #FFXIV Dawntrail #Final Fantasy XIV #Derplander #FF14 #i know it meant to look cool and he was but #last time he smile in trailer was in SB and that's so long ago TДT #watching him tapping his foot and enjoy life #im so happy for you dude #random ramblings #tho i love his previous hair #but that new hairstyle start to grows on me #now depends on how it look in-game please be good please be good

[lightparty-fullparty]

Can't possibly be me Zenosposting again - what is this a day ending in Y?

Anyway, I've been thinking about the murder boy again. This has mostly spawned from my replaying of the Stormblood patches and seeing Amnesiac Yotsuyu, which sparked a bit of a Nature vs Nuture debate between me and my friends.

Basically, my question for this post is "How much of Zenos' whole deal is Nature (aka He was just born like that) and how much of it is Nuture (aka the enviornment he grew up). Some of you might content to say Nature and leave it at that, which is a completely valid outlook to have. But for me there's just one... teeny... tiny... little detail that has sent me on a wild consipriacy theory of a ride that's resulted in this post. Emet-FUCKING-Selch.

Listen to me, listen okay? I cannot, CANNOT ignore the fact that this absoulete motherfucker (affectionate) is Zenos's cannonical Great Grandfather. Who was very much alive and kicking during his childhood. Emet-Selch or Solus zos Galvus whatever moniker you wanna give the man, is an Ascian. One of THE Ascians. Not only that, he's 'The Architect" the guy who's job it is to design and engineer the calamities meant to rejoin the Shards of the World back together again. What does he do to achieve this? He builds empires, he starts wars, manipulates people and situations to result in untold elemental chaos. Iirc correctly he's responsible for causing all eight calamities that have occured so far in FFXIV. (Eight got undone but I'm still counting it).

Now for this post I'm going to be focusing mainly on the Seventh, Eighth, and Fourth Umbral Calamities. (Which are the ones coincidentally we're told the most about in game). This Calamities all involved Empires. The Allagan and the Garlean, both of which Emet-Selch was responsible for creating. From the Allagans we have the creation of Dalamud, Cyrus Tower, and the Ultima Weapon. As well as an extensive history of biological research. Cloning, Gene Splicing, Mutation and so on. (A sundered mortal's attempts at creation magjicks perhaps?) The Garleans too, have a notible history of biological research, they draw a lot of their modern technology from Allagan design. No coincidence there given Emet-Selch's involvement. But we've seen them use genetic mutation, cyber augmentation, and cloning (Emet-Selch's shadow the hedgehog ass clone bodies because he refuses to look like anyone other than his unsundered self). The also so a lot of research into the Echo. Hydalyn's mark for her champions, and soul maipulation. (Ala Mihgo Dungeon and In From the Cold Duty both points of note for examples of the Soul being manipulated here - physically torn out of the body).

"Now Gengar " - I hear you ask - "What does this have to do with Nature vs Nuture or Zenos?" Well, I tell you, everything really. Hear me out. Emet-Selch designed the Garlean Empire to be the perfect chaos causing conquest force. They have no ability to use either, making them initially vulnerable as a people to the rest of the races. Building up a tasty, tasty resentment and need to feel superior. He sent them marching to 'reclaim their home' and then to 'unify the three contents under their superior peaceful, organised leadership'. The 'Savage Races' summon evil primals and weild evil distructive magjiks. He gave them a perfect cause and reason to hate everyone else. He gave them magitech to level the field and make them supieror at combat. Garlemald as a nation is the perfect war machine. Allagan 2.0 if you would. And Zenos is the perfect 'Champion' to lead that nation into battle. To spark that next Calamity. Look at the guy. Garleans might be on the taller side (depending on the character. Cid is a shorty), but Varis and Zenos are HUGE. Emet-Selch isn't nearly as tall as either of them despite being a blood relation. Which makes me think there was some of that Allagan/Garlean/Ancient playing with genetics and form at work. Make them bigger, more durable, stronger, more intelligent.

It's like Captian America. You want the perfect solider. And a perfect solider for Emet-Selch would also need to be cold, ruthless, manipulative.

There was a post I saw a while again about Mecha Pilots. And OP pondered on the idea of physcially having your brain and body contiditoned to love battle. To love destruction and killing and fighting.

Do you see where I am going with this?

You want someone bloodthirsty enough to cause a Calamity for you, you need them to feel nothing for their fellow man. (Insects all of them. Disappointing. Found Wanting.) You need them to find such overwhelming joy in battle that no other earthely pleasure can compare to it. (Brilliant. Blinding. Trandsenant Moment.)

No attatchments. No emotions, Just violence. I offer to you dear readers, that Emet-Selch carefully modified Zenos' litterally brain chemistry. Making him predisposed to a lack of empathy and his brain releasing those pesky joyous chemicals during battle. Inflicitng and feeling pain. I offer the theory that Zenos has literally been built for combat. If you cut him open, his bones and muscles and organs would be so alienly perfect. Denser, perfectly optimised. Exceedingly perfect. His brain remapped for pattern recognistion and quick skill building, Easy to train in the art of slaughter and tactics. Unable to forge the emotional connections that would only serve to hinder him. (To isolate him from family).

What evidence to I have? Outside of Emet-Selch's known history of building Empires? Easy. I already know he's done this kind of thing before.

Vauthry. The baby Emet-Selch mutated into half a Lightwarden. Able to command the Sin Eaters and ensured would be raised into a tyranically, childish, king. To keep the First from Uniting. To ensure the Eighth Umbral Calamity would continue along it's march to completion.

Why wouldn't Emet-Selch have done as much to Zenos too?

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #zenos yae galvus #emet selch #solus zos galvus #DO YOU SEE IT? #DO YOU SEE MY VISION? #MY REVELATION? #IT'S HIS SPECIAL BOY BONE STRUCTURE GODDAMIT #It's the Frankenstien Allagory #You were *made* monsterous and alien #Body Bone and Mind #Designed to be PERFECT #but Perfect for what? #ghostly rambles

[battleonthebigbridge]

Can't stop staring at him actually I'm so happy he's going to be part of the main cast for this expansion.

#ffxiv #ff14 #erenville #dawntrail #idk how i feel abt the expansion name lol #doesn't really hit the same as the others for me #however #look at how cute erenville is #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ray's rambles #fanfest

[monstermonger]

yall.

my wife @konkenorve made needle-felt fat cat and i'll never be the same

#FAT CAT #fat cat ffxiv #random rambling #lord i will never recover #she is sitting on my shelf by my computer #watching over me every day like a little guardian angle #(... i mistyped angle instead of angel and i now refuse to correct it) #ff14 #needle felting #ffxiv #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv

[system-of-a-feather]

Honestly, I think the best thing the Riku-Data combo has ever said is that "This is probably going to be one of the hardest periods in our life save for any unexpected disaster, death, or massive illness" cause like, yeah damn right it is and we are more than ready for shit shit cause literally it's the silver lining to our trauma and abuse actually put into play. Like our trauma didn't "benefit us more than harm us" and I'm not gonna be like "This is what our trauma trained us for uwu" cause fuck that shit

But quite frankly since we survived the brunt of the trauma and the first 5-7 years of healing enough to restitch ourselves together pretty strongly, the side effect of having this adulthood shit pushed on us and having a (unhealthy but moderated) sense of extreme adulthood and budgetting skills and sense of having no support paired with the fact we kept a highly strict and minimalist life to set ourselves up with a good foundation of money and in a good place like...

We're good honestly. Like we're 22 and honestly having divorced the fucking stupidity that is Capitalism (not @ people still in it, its brain washing, Capitalism is stupid not victims in it) and it's fucking bait of chronic self torture, having a fucking amazing fiance, making great progress in whatever our transitioning goal is, having a number of hobbies and joys in life, having a decently set career and stable income with no plans for children because this world sucks, too queer for kids, and having kids in this economy is impossible - so as long as we know how to care for ourselves, manage money, and slowly upgrade shit towards the number of plans between Riku and I until we can have a mostly self sustaining life style save for a few things that aren't worth it - save any unexpected disaster we honestly have shit in the bag.

The thing that is a far out ideal if we play this "end game content" well enough would be to literally just buy a plot of land and transfer whatever we do for our personal life on there and either move friends and shit onto there to have a cheap sustainable life and/or leave it an open resource wherever we live for homeless and people in need to get shit like for real.

I really don't fucking get this need and desire people have to like idk take a vacation to Baja to sunbathe and buy some arbitrary keep sake that just shows off your wealth when you could just invest into having a fucking nice and peaceful life you can vibe in.

Like yeah I want some nice guitars and some nice clothes and shit but like I really don't get these stupid vices of wanting to live in a Mansion *sparkle* and have Gucchi *sparkle* like cool live in an empty mansion where you have to call your family on a phone to talk to cause thats fun and not isolating at all.

Fuck Capitalistic Materialistic "I'm Rich Look at Me" goals like literally they're stupid and just empty beyond the immediate joy of it. The real deal is just getting shit you can have to enjoy the world better and improving crap like.... for real I'm a self centered person but its really not about being "uwu selfless think about others" just like why

I still really don't fucking get why people don't just make shit better. Its not a moralistic thing is just you could buy a yacht youll use like once a month tops or you can actually just work to solve a problem that will have a longer pay out of both entertainment and enrichment while also building good terms with others

Like why

Why buy such stupid lavish things you probably will never use

It's really not a moralistic thing here for me. It really isn't. It's just so much more fucking entertaining, sensical and overall a fucking better decision to try to build a more sustainable way of living that is cheaper for people and thus help address some of the largest issues and problems plaguing society than idk, buying a yacht or a mansion that I'd only use like 3 rooms of regularly.

Like yeah I'd buy a stupid expensive guitar and leather and good clothes because you cant expect anyone to just sit here and be 100% giving 100% of the time and never treat themselves without burning out + this ISN'T A MORALISTIC THING AND JUST A HOBBY / PROJECT but that shit is all shit I *would regularly use*

Just like... why.

WHY.

WHY BUY SHIT YOU ONLY WILL GET JOY FROM WHEN YOU BUY IT AND USE IT ONCE A MILLENIA WHEN YOU COULD INVEST IT INTO A PRODUCTIVE PROJECT

Like isn't the WHOLE thing about Capitalism is investing into Capital??? Then why do all the Rich People Buy Stupid Shit. Like JESUS christ it pisses me off how fucking stupid and brain dead American Capitalism is and how they fucking trap people in this fucking STUPID circle of suffering. Like in it's own fucking fundamentals it doesn't FUCKING make sense

Like fuck man as a part I was grilled to be a capitalistic war machine before I looked at that and said FUCK that so I GET how capitalism works which makes me look at this crap and Im like YOU GUYS AREN'T EVEN INVESTING INTO CAPITAL WHY WHAT DOES THIS SHIT SERVE YOU

Anyways fuck man, I was trying to reflect on how we are doing good and it just (de?)evolved into a capitalistic rant #SorryNotSorryMan

-XIV

#alter: xiv #communism #capitalism #capitalism tw #commie posting #capitalism vent #politics tw #politics #xiv rambling #xiv rant

[haunted-xander]

Do you ever think about how Alisaie's biggest fear is losing the people she cares about? How the very first conversation you have with her alone, a deeply personal one, is about her confiding in you about those fears? Telling you that she hated the state of the world Louisoix died for because, to her, it wasn't worth the sacrifice? She tells you about all the allies she made and lost, who she watched die and could do nothing to save them.

Do you ever think about how Alisaie was consistently one of the first to act, to recklessly throw herself at danger throughout stb? She didn't care (as much) about herself getting hurt, but she'd be damned if she let her friends suffer without doing anything. She has to be fast and proactive, because if she can't protect them even when striking first, how would she be able to when acting after the fact?

Do you ever think about how every time her loved ones are in peril/are in risk of being in peril her heart just breaks? How whenever someone's safety is unsure she panics and immediately tries to contact them/rush to their aid? When Castrum Abania's cannon shot the tower that, for all she knew, Alphinaud was still in, she immediately stops what she's doing and runs to it in panic because her brother was in there and he might be dead.

Do you ever think about how when the Scions start getting their souls yanked to the First, Alisaie reacts the strongest? How, when Urianger and Y'shtola got taken, she fell to her knees shaking Uriangers body, screaming for him to wake up? And when Gaius appears with Alphinaud in the Burn, she immediately goes to fight him (before being stopped by Hien) because this man, who has been her enemy, is holding her brother's lifeless body. She doesn't care that she can't possibily beat him, he has her brother and she's already lost so much in such a short amount of time. She's lost Thancred, Y'shtola and Urianger already, she can't lose Alphinaud too.

Do you ever think about how you are the only one she can fully rely on at that time, but who is also at risk of being taken away? Of how she's so desperate for you to stay, to not be taken away, that Alisaie, who, for all her bluntness, prefers to rely on herself first and foremost, begs you not to leave her? She begs you. Alisaie does not beg. She yells at you to not do something, and she'll scold you to hell and back if you do it anyway, but she does not beg. But this time she did.

And then she ends up being taken away right in front of you. She cries out for help and uses her very last energy to reach out for you. And then she falls limp.

Do you ever think about how, when Alphinaud turns to tell her his plans at the end of Ultima Thule, she immediately rejects it without even letting him say it? She's lost so much and experienced so much grief, not only overall but also just in Ultima Thule. And she loathes to bring that grief onto another. Especially to one who has already lost so much, like you. She hates it. She ends up doing it, yes, but she hates it still.

DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT-

#AND THIS ISNT EVEN TOUCHING ON COILS OR GA BU OR LITERALLY ALL OF SHB OR LIKE 90% OF EW EITHER #SHE GOES THROUGH SO SO MUCH AND SHE LOSES SO MANY PEOPLE. HER LITERAL GREATEST FEAR IS REPEATEDLY SHOVED IN HER FACE SO MANY TIMES #I THINK ABOUT HER AN UNHEALTHY AMOUNT. I THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING SHES BEEN THROUGH ALL THE TIME #THE END OF POST-STB BROKE ME OKAY. HAVING TO NOT ONLY WATCH ALL THE SCIONS GET TAKEN AWAY #BUT ALSO HOW ALISAIE REACTS TO AND GETS INCREASINGLY MORE DESPERATE WITH EACH ONE #JUST. JUST BREAKS MY HEART #I LOVE HER SO SO MUCH OKAY I WANT HER TO AHVE ALL THE HAPINESS IN THE WORLD #ALISAIE :'(((((((((( #alisaie leveilleur #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles

[shebaa]

The first boss of the Aetherfont looks like a concept Hythlodaeus 100% approved on the spot.

#“azem would love this fucked up little scrunkgly: accepted” #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #fftxt #sheeb rambles #hythlodaeus #6.4 spoilers

[miqote-isms]

i am literally not kidding when i say the Lvl 30 - 50 DRK quests were the best thing to happen to my mental health second only to getting diagnosed for ADHD. like you have to understand that fray myste did for me what one bajillion self-help articles and three separate counselors couldn't. everyday I am grateful for natsuko ishikawa and her uncanny ability to employ homoerotocism as a metaphor for self-compassion

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #DRK #dark knight #ffxiv DRK #ffxiv dark knight #fray myste #rephy rambles

[ooeygooeyghoul]

To me, Alisaie is that one girl that would go and catch every frog and lizard in the immediate area when left unsupervised for even five minutes.

#ffxiv #ff14 #final fantasy xiv #rambling #alisaie leveilleur #headcanon based on how i was as a child #just a silly thought lol #maybe thats why she likes Shiun so much

[hallowed-nebulae]

this has been my experience ever since the start of the crystal tower questline. it's been nothing but G'raha Tia Syndrome ever since the first of february. help

#rambles #scribbles #g'raha tia #final fantasy xiv #yes i'm putting this dumb meme in the tags #stop me. i dare you.