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paper-crab · 6 months

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To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

summary: letters to your past crushes get out and its a whole mess, based on the movie/book, yadayada

warnings: swearing, cliché, very rushed

wc: 6914

ignore any grammar mistakes it’s too long for me to reread and if it doesn’t flow smoothly i’m so sorry i rushed it so bad

Writing letters was an emotional release; something healthy to pass the time, and look back on later.

That’s why you’d written a series of letters, spanning from 3rd grade to now- senior year. They were intimate letters, ones you wrote to get your mind off of a crush you’d gained, so when you’d looked for the box to add a new letter and couldn’t find it, you freaked out.

Luckily, younger you was only able to get her hands on two addresses.

Unfortunately, those addresses were the two worst ones you could have gotten. Everybody else had either moved, or come out. They were irrelevant.

Who had gotten the letters, however, were not irrelevant: your school's player, and your best friend's boyfriend. You were fully in panic mode now, how are you supposed to recover from that? You can only contemplate your options for so long before anxiety eats at you. Maybe if you skipped a week or so of school it would blow over.

“Yeah, not happening. Rise and shine.”

You groan. “Dad, you don’t understand. This could ruin my life, I might actually die.”

He doesn’t respond, leaving you to grovel and pick up the pieces of your pride.

In order to avoid your friend's boyfriend, you need to avoid her, which means you’re walking around school alone. You know you’ll need to have that awkward conversation, telling him ‘I liked you when you were just my childhood best friend- those feelings have passed’, but you also know that you are going to avoid it for as long as humanly possible. Asserting yourself was never really your strong suit.

You had grown up next door to her boyfriend, and fell out of touch with him in middle school. While he was blossoming as a social butterfly, you lurked in the background, like a moth drawn to his effervescent light. Like the sun, the light was too hot for you to stay in, and you stopped talking until mid junior year when your friend had reintroduced you.

The other letter, the heartthrob, had been a lot kinder in middle school. You’d heard some not-so-kind stories about him recently though, and they were the exact opposite of the kid, Matt, that you knew.

You hadn’t been particularly close or anything, only exchanging a few words in your 7th grade math class, but you were infatuated with him. When you were younger, he hardly talked, but lacrosse had brought him out of his shell; the shell you’d never managed to crack- or rather the cocoon you’d never emerged from.

Matt probably didn’t know your name, even though you’d boldly signed it in your letter, so you were confident he wouldn’t find you. It’d be just another day for him, hopefully.

Your friend's boyfriend, on the other hand, was constantly with you. He lived right next door to you, and you felt like it was impossible to avoid him. You’d try to get through the school day without an encounter, then lock yourself in your room to never be seen again.

The first couple periods you had? Had gone off without a hitch. Then you hit lunch, and even if you tried, you couldn’t run from your friend forever. She found you, her boyfriend trailing behind.

“I missed you this morning!” She tells you, reaching to give you a hug. You don’t do much but nervously laugh, pulling away from her. “Yeah, I came late.” You lied.

“Ugh I wish, I’m going to get lunch, you coming with?” She says, more to her boyfriend than you. He shakes his head, “I’m good.”

“Alright, be back in a minute!”

“Can we ta-”

You cut him off immediately, nervous laughter coming back. “I have a test to study for, so I’m going to the library, sorry. We’ll catch up later. He knows what you’re doing, but he doesn’t really want to talk about it himself.

After excusing yourself, you make a beeline for the library, seeking a moment of respite. The library turns out not to offer that much solace either, because you see Matt’s two brothers enter, meaning he can’t be far behind. When he rounds the corner, his eyes land on you, lighting up slightly. You see him excuse himself from his brothers, and you immediately stand and run out of there, muttering “Nope, no, no,” under your breath. The sound of you slamming the library door open definitely isn’t quiet.

You can’t help but begin to panic, packing up your things and abruptly running out of the school, through the parking lot, and jumping into your car. If studying wasn’t how you were going to escape the situation, avoiding lunch apparently was. It’s tempting, incredibly so, to skip the rest of your day, but you know you’d be in so much trouble. You can’t handle that right now.

You head back in and continue your day, just praying, wishing, dreaming that you won’t encounter the two people you don’t want to see most- but now you’re seeing them out of the corner of your eye in every passing period; and you can’t even confide in the one person you most want to.

The school day ending feels like your saving grace. You’re exhausted, mentally and physically, from running away from your friend and her boyfriend, and narrowly avoiding Matt didn’t help.

You walk out of the school, into the parking lot towards the direction of your car, ready to be done with the day.

In highschool, you’re never done.

Your friend's boyfriend is leaning against your car, looking around for you, arms crossed. You make a sharp left, in the direction of the lacrosse field and bleachers. You’re not really thinking about it when you do it, it’s just the closest shelter, other than walking back in the hellhole that is the school.

You make your way onto the bleachers mindlessly, trying not to think about the events of today. You set your backpack next to you, not realizing there’s an unexpected guest making his way up to the top of the bleachers where you sat.

“Hi.” You jump, startled by the sudden voice as he sits next to you. You recognize that voice, obviously, so you flinch before turning to him. “Y/n, right?”

You nod, not sure how to continue this. There’s a plethora of things he could say, and you’d rather not hear any of them. Matt taps his fingers on the bleachers, waiting for you to acknowledge that he’s said anything; when you realize you nod.

“Look,” he starts, and that’s never a good sign, “Your letter was really kind and whatever, but I just broke up with my girlfriend. I’m not really ready for anything serious, so if you’re looking for casual-”

“I wrote that in 7th grade.”

“Oh.” He says, scratching his head. “Why’d you send the letter then?” You look to your left, spotting your friend's boyfriend walking towards you, and you panic.

“Kiss me,”

“Okay.” He shrugs, grabbing you. His eyes are closed, but you don’t bother closing yours. You’re a bit busy glancing in the direction of your other victim, and when you watch his face fall as he turns back around, you finally close your eyes. “Not that I’m mad about it, but what just happened?”

“It’s really hard to explain, but you’re not the only one that got a letter. The other person is my best friends boyfriend,”

“Damn. That’s low of you, and I’m not special? My feelings are hurt.” He smiles a little bit, trying to ease your tense expression. “I wrote his before I ever wrote yours, and before they knew each other. I can’t talk to him, though, and if she ever finds out, it'll break her heart.”

“Okay, respect. I gotta get to practice, but I’ll find you tomorrow?”

You want to say no, but you don’t. He did just do you a big favor after all. “Yeah, see you then.”

He sticks to his words, finding you in the library the next day. His mouth twists into a grin when he sees you, and he shuffles over holding eye contact with you.

“Hey,” He says, slightly whispering. It might be lunch, but the librarian is still strict. She wants to preserve the quiet atmosphere of the room, in which you can only hear the sound of flipping pages and an occasional murmur. “Mind if I join?” He settles in next to you.

“Uhm.. listen,” You say, launching into a monologue, “about the whole letter thing, It’s, uh, not what it seems. Well it is, but it’s not. I wrote those letters a long time ago, and they don’t reflect my feelings now, and I never meant for them to get out, so, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you into it, and I’m sorry you did, get dragged into it, that is.”

“If you didn’t mean for them to get out, why would you send them?” He questions, tilting his head.

“I didn’t send them.”

“Okay, uhm, who did?”

“I don’t know, but I cannot talk to my friend's boyfriend, like ever.”

He nods, a mixture of concern and confusion evident on his face, like he’s really mulling the situation over.

“So, someone sent those letters behind your back? That’s not cool, dude. Messed up, but I think we can help each other out here, take control of the situation.” A wicked grin takes over his face. If you squint hard enough you can imagine a lightbulb over his head, like he’s had an “aha!” moment. “I have an idea,”

“What do you mean, control?”

“Yeah, control. Think about it, we fake date. You need your friend’s boyfriend off your back, and I need my ex to get jealous and come back to me. Win win, and it gives us a chance to control the narrative.”

“Yeah, I mean… it could work, maybe?” You respond, uncertainty in your tone. “How would it even work?

“I don’t see how it couldn’t.”

“Okay, I guess, but I don’t see how it could be that simple.”

“Yeah, it could. Trust me, we play it smart, manipulate the situation, and we get what we want.”

“Okay, yeah. Let’s do it.”

“You sure about this?” Matt asks, searching your eyes for confirmation.

“Yeah, I mean, you said it best. I can’t talk to him about this, not for a long while, anyways.”

“Sick.”

“So, uhm, what next?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, rules and stuff?”

“You want rules, you make ‘em’” He shrugs. You grab out a notebook, labeling the top ‘Rules’ in neat handwriting. “Oh, you’re serious.”

“No kissing,” you start writing, and Matt groans.

“If we’re not kissing, how do you expect anyone to believe we’re dating?” You squirm a little bit.

“Matt,” you say in a hushed tone. Heat rises to your cheeks. “I don’t really kiss people,”

“Wait,” he chuckles, trying to make a joke, “was I your first kiss?”

When you don’t answer, he gasps. It almost makes him feel bad, but not enough to apologize. “No kissing then,” he confirms, trying to steer the conversation forward. “What else?”

“No couple-y social media shit,”

“Agreed. We keep it low-key.” He nods. “What about spending time together? How often do we go on dates, and are we hanging out all the time?”

“I don’t know, maybe like, once a week? And I don’t wanna be around your friends all the time.”

“You don’t want to be around yours either,” he points out.

“Fair point. Once a week, I hang out with you?”

“Most days, yeah.”

“Also, no meeting the parents. That makes it too real.” You add.

“Off the table. Oh, I’m not calling you babe or any of that gross shit.” He says. You pale at the thought, literally gagging. “Please don’t, I think I’d throw up.”

“That it?” He laughs at you.

“Uh, yeah, I think so.”

The bell rings. “I’ll walk you to class,”

Your face morphs into confusion. “Why would you do that?”

“To make it seem like we’re really dating..?”

“Oh. Yeah,”

He walks you to class, hugging you when he drops you off. “Meet by the bleachers after school?”

“Yeah,” You say, slightly dazed by his request.

When you walk out of your classroom, you let your mind wander back to his ask, ‘what could he possibly want’ playing through your head. You walk through the front doors, taking a sharp left towards the bleachers; just like yesterday.

You’re not waiting for very long when Matt sneaks up on you, whispering “Boo.” into your ear.

You jump, caught off guard, but that’s besides the point.

“Hey,” he says, putting his hands on your waist.

“What are you doing?”

“People are looking.” He shrugs a little. You’re eager for him to get to the point; the longer you’re away from your bed, the more cozy and inviting it sounds. He clears his throat. “I need your number,”

He’s careful to make it come out as a whisper so surrounding students don’t hear. To them, you’re already a couple.

“And your address, so I can pick you up tomorrow.”

“What?”

“As your boyfriend, I��ll be driving you to school, and home, and I need to pick you up for our date too.”

“Date tomorrow?”

“If you’re free, for the ‘spending time together’ bit,” he says, pulling his hands from your waist and doing air quotes with his fingers.

“I can drive myself,” You tell him, as he grabs his phone out and hands it to you sneakily. You proceed to put your number in, and your address, before handing it back to you.

“You can, but it’s more convincing if we come together.” He murmurs, absorbed in drafting you a message. After a moment, you hear the familiar ping of a notification.

“There,” he grins proudly, showing you the message. “Now it’s official.”

The morning sun casts a warm glow on you, making you feel cozy and relaxed, despite the nerves growing. The idea of Matt, and his brothers, coming to pick you up scares you a bit. You fiddle with the strap of your backpack as you wait on your front porch.

When you see a car pull up, you know that’s your cue to start walking down your driveway. Matt hops out, rushing to hug you and open the passenger door for you.

“Doesn’t Chris usually sit there?” You ask quietly, still smiling to keep up the charade. “Yeah, I made him move.” He whispers back before he walks to the driver's seat.

“Good morning,” Nick says, sounding completely done. Chris doesn’t even raise his head, giving you a small wave. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you guys.” You say softly, not wanting to disturb them. You think them going out of their way to pick you up this morning was disturbing enough.

The car ride was a mixture of awkward silence and small talk. Nick and Chris are both too tired to engage much, but Matt is trying his hardest to keep them involved.

You pull up to the school gates after a short while, Matt parks the car. You get out and he walks over to you, joining your hands while you walk in. He gives you a reassuring smile as you walk in, “Don’t worry, they’re not always like this in the morning. I promise it’s not personal.”

You nod, trying your best to offer a smile that comes out faint. “Yeah, I won’t take it personally. Thanks again for the ride, Matt.”

“Of course,”

The second you get into the school, Nick and Chris part ways with you two. You’re still holding hands, you realize, when the murmurs and glances direct themselves towards you. Matt can feel the anxious energy you radiate because of it, so he leans in to whisper in your ear, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. “Don’t worry, it’ll blow over soon.”

For all the stories you’d heard about him, you hadn’t expected him to be even half as polite. Maybe it’s because you were faking, you decide.

The rest of the day seems to float by in a blur, but Matt was right; the buzz around your relationship did seem to dissipate the more people saw you together. During lunch, you find yourself next to Matt. You’re doing your best to maintain the facade with his lacrosse friends, Chris among the group.

You can feel the stare of your best friend and her boyfriend though, and it only brings back those feelings of guilt and anxiety. You’re grateful for the distraction of food, though, because it provides you an out from conversations.

You’re not used to basking in the light like this.

As the bell rings, you feel a mixture of relief and apprehension. Matt walks you to your last class, of course, offering you a quick hug before parting ways.

The class passed by slowly as you try to piece together the events of the day. In under a week, you went from a nobody with 3 friends to a somebody dating one of the most popular boys. Fake dating.

When you’re finally dismissed from the shackles of public school, you feel an odd sense of relief. You know it won’t last very long because of your scheduled date tonight, but it’s there nonetheless.

You find Matt waiting outside your classroom, as promised, a smile on his face. He falls into step beside you as you make your way towards his car. The chatter of surrounding students fades into background noise when you’re with him. A cool breeze dances through the air, making you shiver a bit. For a moment, you stayed silent, enjoying the comfort he brought you just by being next to you.

It was reminiscent of middle school; his silence made you comfortable because you weren’t alone.

“Wait, don’t you have lacrosse practice?” You interrupt.

“I take Nick home everyday, I have time to take you too.”

You nod. As you navigate through the sea of juniors and seniors preparing to leave, Matt turns his head towards you. “Hey, you okay?” he asks, concern evident.

“Yeah, yeah,” you nod, offering a chuckle and a hesitant smile, “Just processing the day, you know? It’s kinda weird.”

He nods understandingly, turning his head back towards the car that Nick is already waiting at. The ride to your home feels significantly shorter when you engage in pleasant conversation with Nick and Matt.

Despite the guilt you feel over keeping up this act, the conversation flows genuinely and you find yourself really enjoying it. He pulls into your driveway, putting the car in park and smiling at you.

“Thank you, and thanks for today.”

“No problem, I’ll see you tonight?”

“You bet,” You say, waving goodbye to Nick. You walk into your house and feel like a puddle of goo, every emotion flooding your body in one go. It’s only the second day of pretending, and you’re feeling like a fly stuck in a web of lies.

Despite your conflicting feelings, you begin to get ready for your date, feeling genuine excitement. Even if it’s just as friends, Matt is really pleasant to be around.

Matt: Movie at 7:30?

You: Perfect, see you then.

The hours tick by as you prepare yourself to hang out with him. You hear a knock on your front door that makes you jump. “Dad, I'm going out!” You yell, rushing out to join Matt.

You weren’t expecting him to hug you when you stepped out. There was no one around to keep it up for, but you decided not to question it. “Hi Matt,”

“Hi.” He grins, pulling away from you. “I didn’t buy tickets yet because I wanted you to choose the movie,”

“You didn’t have to do that.” You tell him, heart filled with gratitude. It was a small gesture, yet it immediately made your middle school crush on him come back.

“I feel like you know a lot about me, so I thought you choosing the movie would help me learn something about you.” He said as you pulled into the movie theater parking lot.

“Yeah, I’ll pick.” You giggle at him, hopping out. When you walk in, you’re overwhelmed by the aggressive scent of buttered popcorn. Matt glanced around, beginning to guide you to the ticket counter. “Shit, that’s my ex.”

“It’s cool, play up the pda to make her more jealous,”

His arm wraps around your waist as he leans into you, pretending to whisper something in your ear. When you walk up to the counter, he unwraps his arm for a mere second to grab his wallet.

“Movie?” He asks. You tell him and he nods. “Two tickets please, he hands his ex his card.

“Hi, Matt.” She says, smiling at him. You immediately get possessive vibes that make you feel uncomfortable, but that means the plan is working. “Oh hey,” He smiles lightly, acting nonchalant.

“Who’s this?” You can literally feel the jealousy she's emitting, and it makes you shift in his grasp. “This is my girlfriend, the tickets?”

“Oh, sorry.” She hands him the tickets, making sure to brush his hand while she glared at you. As you walk towards the next counter to buy popcorn, you start laughing. “I don’t think she liked me much.”

“Good, means the plan is working.” He says, going to fish for his wallet again.

“Nuh-uh. My turn.”

“That’s not really how dates work, but nice try.”

It feels like the hours have crept away from you. The movie comes to an end, despite you willing it to last longer. Matt offers you a hand and pulls you up, making sure to hold your hand when you exit the theater. It almost makes your heart flutter; then you remember why he’s doing it.

“So, what did you think of the movie?” He says, offering you his jacket when you step into the brisk air. You smile, feeling fulfillment while you slide his jacket on. “I liked it, thanks for letting me choose. And, um, thanks for tonight. It was… interesting.”

“No problem,” he says, sounding relaxed. “I liked it too. We make a good fake couple, don’t we?”

You continue chatting while you walk to the car, and while he drops you off. Matt gets out to walk you up to your door, genuinely surprising you. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.” He says, offering you another hug. You slide off his jacket and melt into him before handing it back. “Thanks, Matt.”

“See you tomorrow morning?”

You nod.

You close the door behind you, feeling the weight of the day settle into your skin. You’re beginning to ease into the fake relationship; even as the facade gets increasingly complex. You sink into your bed, shifting off to dreamland.

As the week goes on, your arrangement only gets better. You avoid your friend's boyfriend, and he starts getting desperate texts from his ex. By the end of the week, you’re sure he’s close to breaking it off.

When Matt drops you off at home on Friday afternoon, you’re insanely smiley. You feel on top of the world. The day seemed normal enough, for your new normal anyways, but there was an odd air of tension everywhere you went. You knew something was wrong when your best friend landed on your doorstep mere moments later.

She was your best friend for a reason- you trusted her with almost everything, so she didn’t understand why this week, you’d suddenly gone ghost. You normally talked every second of every hour if you could, but this week, your communication had been limited to fleeting glances across the cafeteria, or in the hallway.

You open your front door to find her standing there, eyes ablaze with anger. “Hey.. what’s up?” You say, prompting her to talk and cut through the thick silence.

“Where have you been all week?”

“At school..?”

“No, I mean, where have you been? You avoided me on Monday, and you started dating Matthew Sturniolo out of nowhere; I didn’t even know you were talking! I’ve barely seen you this week and normally we spend all our time together. Something isn’t right.”

You feel like you’re shrinking under her intense gaze. Stammering out an apology isn’t really working for her, or you, because the weight of your fabricated relationship with Matt pinned your tongue. “It’s not like that..”

“Don’t give me that!” She says, glaring at you. “We tell each other everything. Why are you shutting me out now?”

You wrack your brain for an excuse, trying to think of anything to get her off your back when you remember a conversation you’d had with her about Matt. “Look, I know I’ve been unfair to you… but I know you don’t like Matt, and I really do. I’ve been caught up with him, and I didn’t want to tangle you into it because I know you don’t like him.”

“He’s a dick.” She says to you, bluntly. “I don’t think you should be dating him, much less talking to him and ignoring me for him. Haven’t you heard the shit he’s pulled with other girls?”

“Of course I have but-”

“I don’t know who you think you are, but you’re not different. He’s going to leave you in the dust too.”

Her words cut through you, sharp and painful. The truth hovered on the tip of your tongue, but the weight of secrecy still held it down. You didn’t know how to get out of this one. “He’s not like that with me,” you attempt to defend, feeling the tears well up in your eyes. “People change, you know?”

“You’re being naïve, and I hate seeing you like this. Ignoring your best friend for a guy who’s going to hurt you in the end.”

You’re feeling shackled, like you’re in the ocean trying to stay above the surface, but there’s a weight tied to your ankle.

“I appreciate your concern,” you say, voice shaking “but I know what I’m doing. We’re happy together. You say, a feigned smile gracing your lips. Her harsh glare softens. “I trust you. Just, be careful. Okay?”

“Yeah, of course.” You nod, acting like you’re relieved, but the pit in your stomach only deepens as the web of woven lies becomes more intricate. She leaves, and you close the door behind you, sinking down to the floor.

All of this because of some letters.

The sound of a message coming through your phone snaps you out of your contemplation. You glance at it, immediately smiling when you see Matt’s name pop up.

Matt: Hangout tomorrow? Nick and Chris r asking

You: Yeah, what time?

Matt: Noon?

You: I’ll be there

Matt: I’ll pick you up

You heart the message, standing from the floor. When you retire for the night, your friend's warning re-enters your mind. You know she’s right, but the reality of your fake dating thing with Matt tugs you back into its tangled web, as it always does.

Each text from Matt, while making you smile, feels like another string of deceit weaving into a thousand more. It just deepens as time goes on. The lure of his attention and the comfort of the familiarity you feel with him vie against the guilt that gnaws at your conscience.

You’ve realized the gravity of the situation, but the truth remains locked in, barricaded by fear and the entanglements you’ve created. You want to call it off, you’ve wanted to, but you don’t want to risk falling into a chasm of more confrontations- from both your friend, and her boyfriend.

You try to shove it out of your mind so you can sleep though, preparing for your day with Matt tomorrow.

When you wake up the next morning, you feel giddy. You put more effort into getting ready than you normally would on a Saturday. Then, there’s a knock on your door and a hug awaiting you. This time, you don’t question if people are around, you just accept it with a grin.

“Nick and Chris wanted to come get you,” He tells you, pulling you down the driveway. Yet again, the front seat is empty for you. The energy of the triplets was infectious, in the best way possible. You immediately found yourself comforted by their presence, the simplicity of just being around them had an inexplicable effect on your already good mood.

The drive feels effortless as you settle into conversation with the group. It reminds you of how uncomfortable you’d been mere days ago, and how much had changed. You kind of frown at the thought, but quickly catch it. Matt’s smile never faltered though, leaving you with an odd sense of melancholy when you’re reminded that it’s all fake.

You can’t help but be surprised by your surroundings when you enter the house. You knew the outside, obviously having known the address, but the inside exceeds all your expectations. Family pictures litter the walls, candles are everywhere. It’s cute.

“Your parents aren’t here, right?” You whisper. “Nope.”

“So, what should we do?” Chris speaks up, cutting through the silence. You shrug in response while Matt and Nick go into deep thought.

“We should bake!”

“Nope.” Matt says at the same time you say “Okay.”

When Matt hears you, he turns in your direction. Seeing your smile at the presented idea, he changes his mind. “Yeah, baking sounds good.”

Nick glances at him skeptically, the switch-up being unusual. When your eyes wander towards Chris, you notice his confusion too.

“Baking it is.” Nick mumbles, leading you to the kitchen.

“Alright, what are we making?” Chris pipes in, pulling out various bowls. “Brownies?” Matt suggests, “I think we have a mix and I don’t wanna run to the store right now.”

“Wait, we’re awful at baking. Why are we baking?” Chris questions, wracking his brain to find the answer.

“It’ll be eventful,” Nick replies.

“If we mess shit up and it gets messy, I’m blaming it on you.”

Nick groans, going to grab the mix and the various ingredients listed on the box. “If you do that, I’m gonna tell mom about that time that you-”

“And that’s enough!” Matt cuts him off, grabbing eggs out of Nick’s hand. He ushers you further into the action of the kitchen, imploring you to get comfortable.

“You bake a lot?” He asks, smiling.

“Not really,” You admit, laughing at the commotion surrounding you. It’s fascinating to you how those around you have become such an integral part of your everyday life in the week you’d known them, despite only being in your circle for under a week.

You know your relationship with Matt is false- how could you not? You remind yourself constantly, but these new relationships you’d forged because of Matt? Some of the realest ones you’d ever experienced.

A crack snaps you out of your thoughts, followed by a millisecond of silence. “Chris!” Nick yells, looking at the fallen egg.

“How is this my fault?!” Matt finds himself laughing with you.

The brownies turn out so horribly burnt you’re not even sure if you can call them brownies anymore, and the mess is colossal, but even when Matt drops you off you only have good things to say about, and to, the group.

“Thank you,”

“Of course. I’ll pick you up on Monday?”

“See you then.” You say, waving to Nick and Chris.

The next couple weeks go by so smoothly, you almost forget you’re acting. They’re relatively the same as the first, save for more interactions with your friend. Being with Matt and his brothers, and even his friends, feels natural. Your weeks become more routine, and the plan is working. Matt’s ex is obviously getting more green as time goes on, and your friend's boyfriend won’t even spare you a passing glance.

By your one-month ‘anniversary’, you’re almost 100% sure you two are in the clear. You’re waiting at home for Matt to pick you up, excited to be with him, but feeling a pit on your stomach nonetheless. When you hear the now-familiar knock on your door, you can’t help but run to answer it.

“Hi Matt,”

“Hi.” He smiles and reaches out to hug you, like normal, but the smile doesn’t meet his eyes in the way it usually does. It’s missing its charm. He guides you to the car, sure to open the passenger door for you, but the gesture is missing its usual warmth. He takes you to this cute diner, one that you’ve mentioned in a passing conversation, but the earlier apprehension you felt only grows stronger.

When you sit down, you finally decide you can’t take it anymore. “Is something wrong, Matt?”

“Not wrong, really. My ex wants me back. She texted me the other night,”

“Oh,” Is all you can say, trying to force a smile to your face. “That’s good.”

“Yeah,” He says. You’re not sure if you’re grasping at straws, but you feel like he sounds like he’s trying to convince himself too. “Do you think you’re okay to break this off?”

“Uhm, yeah. I think my friend’s boyfriend is leaving me alone.” You nod at him, looking everywhere but his face. “Should we just go?”

He can’t argue with that, so instead of getting that cute little dinner date you were promised, you’re sitting back in Matt’s car in silence as he drives you home. The atmosphere felt heavy. You’re stopped at a red light when you finally glance over at him for the first time this entire ride back. He’s tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, a nervous tic you’d never noticed before, while his eyes are set on the traffic lights.

“I’m sorry,” He finally says, the second the light turns green.

“For what?” You reply, trying to keep your voice steady.

“For coming up with this idea. It was stupid and I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t be sorry, Matt. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed. It wasn’t stupid; it did what we wanted it to do.”

He nodded, but your gaze lingered on him. You could see the mixture of guilt and gratitude swirling through his eyes. “At least it’s over, right? We manipulated the situation.” You say, trying to bring up the mood. You’re trying not to make something of nothing, but his mood seems just as melancholic as yours. “At least it’s over.”

When the car reaches your house, Matt can’t find it in himself to move, to walk you to your door. He hears your seatbelt click, signaling that you’re taking your leave.

“See you around?”

“See you around, Matt.”

When you exit the car, a bittersweet realization washes over Matt. This isn’t what he wanted. He grips the steering wheel, hurriedly putting his car into reverse. He can’t linger any longer, or he’ll make a rash decision and run back to you. He wanted his ex back, and now that’s what he’s getting.

The next day, you wake up with absolutely zero pep in your step. You drag yourself out of bed, drag yourself into your car, and drag yourself through the halls in the morning. The entire world seems more quiet without Matt next to you; your steps echo in your ears. You catch glimpses of familiar faces, but today, they seem almost alien. It makes you wish you’d never left your bed. By lunch, everybody knows something is wrong. Your spot by Matt’s side has been reclaimed by his ex girlfriend. You don’t miss the pitying looks his friends give you, especially Nick and Chris.

You never realized how humiliating it’d be when people saw that Matt left you for his ex.

You settle in your old spot, across from your best friend and her boyfriend, trying to make the whole thing feel natural. It doesn’t.

The whispers and glances you’re receiving from others feel like needles pricking at your already unsettled emotions, and your friend’s compassionate eyes don’t make you feel any more comfortable.

“Matt’s a jerk. I hate him.” She tells you, and it hurts your heart a bit.

“I don’t.” You reply, voice barely above a whisper, the weight of the situation pressing on you. She winces at you defending him, but rebounds. There’s a strong desire to call him every name in the book, but resorts to saying “I can't believe he would do that to you.”

You want to tell her the truth, the lies of the situation having weighed heavy on your mind, but you know that’d defeat the purpose. You thought that when you’d ended the relationship, the entanglement of fibs you’d found yourself in would unravel, but you feel as though they’d only gotten more complicated. “You told me he would.” You say, pushing your school lunch around. She winces again.

“I’m here for you.”

“Thank you.”

When Matt stands next to his ex, who all his friends tell him is a catch, he can’t help but feel empty. His eyes wander away from his table, landing on you. Memories flood back, a mixture of genuine and orchestrated moments swirling within his mind. He’s completely dipped out of the conversation his friends are having, his grip on his new-old girlfriend's waist weakening as he thinks of you.

He catches the slightest glimpse of your eyes, one that you immediately divert; a mixture of confusion and hurt sprinkled within. A pant of guilt hits him, but he tries to forget about it as he turns back to the conversation presented to him.

“What’s gotten into you dude?” Someone asks. Matt shrugs, trying to stay involved. His eyes wander back to you, and then over to Chris, who mouths “Get her back.” at him.

He tries to pretend like he didn’t see that. He has what he wants, his girlfriend, and you have what you want, maybe.

He knows one thing: he doesn’t like the hole your absence has left in his daily routine.

The week comes and goes, Friday night rolling around and the pain of losing each other doesn’t go away. Matt’s battling himself internally to convince himself that both you and him are happier apart; he knows that’s not true. You’re fighting with yourself constantly to not spill your guts to someone, pressure that you had shared with him before the fake, but impossibly real split, weighing on you. It’s past midnight by the time your wandering mind calms enough for you to sleep.

At this point, Matt’s drafted up about 4 text messages to you, and none of them convey what he’s truly wanted to say. He called it off already with his ex-ex girlfriend. The moment she’d started badmouthing you in front his friends put a sour taste in his mouth; that, and he’d realized he was searching for you in every one of their interactions.

He’s restless, consumed by thoughts of longing for your presence. In the silence of the night, he’s grabbing his keys and heading. You think you’re imagining it when you’re awoken by the stall of an engine, but you’re forced to confront the taps on your window.

As you slowly approach the window, pulling back the curtain, you're confronted by Matt’s anxious gaze, illuminated by the faint, cool glow of the moonlight. You rush downstairs, barely stopping to slide a hoodie and some shoes on. The mix of emotions you feel are mirrored in his expression- a blend of nervousness, vulnerability, and longing. With the weight of unspoken words hanging between you, he opens his arms, pulling you in for a warm hug. He’s worried you won’t hear him out, desperate to express what he wanted to tell you in his unsent messages, but his desire to hold you far outweighs his uneasiness.

“I couldn’t keep lying to myself, and you.” He says, face buried in your neck. “I’ve been lost without you, and I can’t pretend I’m happier this way. I miss us, even if it wasn’t real.” His voice contains traces of sincerity, regret, and insecurity, but he feels a sense of strong relief take over at his admission. “I know it was fake- it started out fake- but I’m in love with you now.”

His honesty resonates as his eyebrows unfurrow, his entire body relaxing, and the weight that’s been dragging you to the bottom of the ocean is shed. Rather than sinking, you’re floating peacefully above the soft waves. You pull away from him, your anxieties dissipating like mist under the moonlight. The depth of his words stir an array of emotions within you: astonishment, relief, and a spark of hope. You search his calm eyes, being practically slapped in the face by his sincere and loving expression.

You can’t help but kiss him, seeing the way the moon puts an ethereal glow on his gestures. “I missed us too,” You start, in a soft voice. The air between you is finally cleared. “and I love you too.”

“Can we date, for real this time?” Matt blurts out, going to kiss you again. He feels intoxicated, your second-ever kiss not being a fraction of enough to sate his ever-growing hunger.

You might have started as a fraud, but somewhere along the way, when the tides shifted and your world changed, you emerged from your cocoon, into a glorious and charismatic butterfly.

“If you’ll have me as your girlfriend, for real this time.”

He kisses you again.

#matthew sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

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yelshin · 1 year

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CAT? HUMAN? | MLIST

﹙SCARAMOUCHE/WANDERER X FEM READER﹚

An: IM GETTING IMPATIENT TO POST THIS ONE SO ILL POST THIS RQ BEFR I GOT BUSY

Tw: 3.3 SCARAMOUCHE LORE SPOILERS, used pronouns in 3rd POV: they/them/you, cursing , another day another ginger slander/J DONT ATTACK ME PLS一

"ma'am are you sure you want a room this large-" "Did i stutter?" You send a threatening glare to the man while he nervously gulp "I-it cost 5,4000 (i def did not guess frfr) along with the items" You look over ur bank acc; feeling hesitant but still its for you best kitten right?

"fine, I'll take it." Just like that they start working on Kuni's new room which is pretty large for his size.. buy its okay atleast he got WAY TOO MUCH space to explore

"[Name] can you be fr right now?" Yoimiya sweatdrop while you're at the couch being proud parent that Kuni learned how to stand in 3 second "Yes Yoimiya I am being for real" you smiled before showering Kuni with your affection

"A LARGE ROOM JUST FOR A 3 SECOND STAND?? sigh this cat is very special yeah?" She also sat down beside you before noticing the amount of changes in your house

Before your house dont have toys around, a bowl at the floor, a sack of cat foods etc. 'thats a different breed there..'

Yoimiya looks over you who was busy pampering your kitten before asking the same question again "Are you sure you wanna pay that high just for...yk Kuni"

"He deserve everything in the world. If he got hurt i wont hesitate to hunt them^^"

"oh my fucking god."

"Kuni! Where are you, its time for bath!" You called out playing as if you dont see him at the very corner of your house; sulking

"there you are!" You pick him up before heading towards the bathroom and give him the most relaxing bath that no kitten could ever have(/j). Making a bubble bath you scoop some before putting it to his forehead as a hat... (ITS CUTE. FIGHT IF DISAGREE 👿)

You giggled before taking a picture of him having a bubble hat and grumpy looks and finish his bath and drying him up.

---

"Can i PLEASE bring him? I'll make sure he won't hurt anyone" You plead at your(girlfriends) friends to let them bring your kitten to your hangout "Cmon [Name]! We only hangout for like 3 times a week and we rarely spend time with each other!" Hu tao frowned but even you guys hangout yesterday it felt like a month to them

You frowned before looking at Kuni who's sleeping peacefully at his cat tree wiping small tears in the corner of your eyes "but look at him! He look so lonely if i left him alone yk.."

"Why not hire someone to babysit him?" You grinned at Ayaka's idea before contacting someone to take care of your little (demon) angel Kuni while you we're gone

"WHY ME?! OUT OF ALL PEOPLE WHY." Childe sobbed at the fact his life is gonna be in danger for the next 20 hrs of his life "Don't worry this is your chance to befriend with him! Im sure he wouldn't hurt you unlike last time^^" and just like that you left with your girlfriends while Childe look at Kuni who's now awake and preparing his evil plans to make Childe living in hell.

Childe was chilling at the living room watching some movies on the TV until he heard a glass getting shattered on the floor. He look at the counter to see Kuni glaring at him before signaling him to put food at his container. Childe only rolls his eyes as he continues watching..which made your cat wanna scratch him again

"why should i give you food when you scratch me last time 😒"

It didn't take that long for Kuni to jump high and landed on Childe's stomach and Childe felt like his organs are getting destroyed.

"YOU LITTLE一" Kuni showed him his sharp nails meaning if Childe continue his words he wont hesitate to scratch him; damaging his face.

Childe gulp before going to the kitchen and put some cat food at Kuni's container "I wanna go home..." The ginger walked to the door and tried to open it but...

It was locked.

Childe felt the whole world is against him. He wanna get out of the house and leave Kuni alone! "What did i do to deserve this.."

"You not giving me food."

Childe flinch at the voice and look around to see a small person; with indigo hair and eyes. Childe was completely confused.

First Kuni is a little demon cat(for him) AND NOW HE'S HUMAN??

"WHO ARE YOU?!"

"the demon under your bed." Kuni answered grinning at the poor ginger "I KNEW IT! YOU LITTLE DEMON MAKING MY LIFE GO HELL!"

Kuni rolled his eyes and walk to the kitchen grabbing some sweets at the shelf ignoring Childe's presence. Childe grab his phone and instantly contacting you to tell that your kitten is officially now a human!

You felt your phone ring so you picked it up

"hello childe?"

"COMEHOMENOWYOURCATISAFUCKINGHUMAN"

"Can you PLEASE speak slower?"

"YOUR CAT IS A H一"

and after that the call ended, you just shrugged before continuing to eat your food

It took 30 mins to Childe to calm down before talking to Kuni who introduced himself as Scaramouche. "So like you can be a cat around [Name]...?" "Dumbhead i can turn into cat whenever i want, but for now ill stay hidden because I don't wanna be ended up on the streets again" Scaramouche frowned while Childe look at him with pure confusion

"You're lucky [Name] loves you so much that they bought you your OWN room" he sigh for the 69th time while Scaramouche sat back "i told you they're secretly Kylie Jenner"

"if your previous owners are kylie jenner then why did you ended up on a box?💀"

"WE DONT TALK ABOUT MY PAST."

An: Y'ALL IM SORRY IF THERES NOT MUCH OF SPOILING KUNI😞😞 IM REALLY RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS(just like ur bank acc)

Taglist: @thetwinkims @sunsethw4 @etherisy @kunikuzushicandegrademefr @Heiijoxz @eliciana @naritecs @kkazuyass @itztaki @makilovescofi

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physalian · 2 months

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Tackling Characters with Mental Health Issues (or, ‘Write What you Know’)

**Trigger warning for this entire post**

This is completely off the cuff and unplanned but here we go. I just read a book that POV switches between its two romantic leads. One of these leads was intended to be written with a severe case of generalized anxiety. I have confirmation from the author that it’s not an author-insert. This character was entirely based on research, not experience.

Without putting them on blast, because they really did try…. While ‘neurodivergent’ or ‘mental health disorder’ isn’t a protected class, it should still fit squarely under other topics you shouldn’t write about if you don’t experience it with a massive asterisk.

TL;DR: If you yourself aren’t part of X minority or suffer Z physical or mental disability, you should not be barred from writing characters with those traits. ***HOWEVER*** writing these characters struggling, suffering, or overcoming this given trait in a pro-cis, straight, white, neurotypical, able-bodied America is not yours to touch.

This suffering isn’t your story to profit off of, when you didn’t actually suffer any of it.

I cannot remember who said it and I am absolutely paraphrasing but for example: White authors can and should include characters of color (and I am a White author). White authors should *not* write about a character of color as their protagonist experiencing bigotry, discrimination, hate crimes, and all that hardship, at the hands of white society. It’s just not your story to tell, and all the research in the world will never give you the lived experience you need to do it justice.

Like, you can write about the concept of slavery existing in a fantasy novel. Or sci-fi. Or some Alternate Universe historical fiction. You cannot write about the American slave trade like you lived it and still suffer the ramifications of it when you didn’t, especially when it is the thesis of your entire book.

Anyone remember that awful Amazon movie, My Policeman? Based on a book written by a straight, white woman whose straight female lead took an entire narrative to whine about how she was jilted by her gay husband and his gay lover who she got arrested and institutionalized so she could keep her husband… and never told them? With the predatory 3rd love interest and the whole ‘liar revealed’ and… yeah. That one.

Unless you do the work very few authors are willing to do, with permission and encouragement and a backing from whatever minority you’re writing about and their stamp of approval that you knocked it out of the park, just don’t. Save yourself the headache.

—

As I read this book, and this entire character’s arc is about her mental health, for 100k words… why would you *want* to take on that responsibility? Why would you want to take on all that extra research, all the stress of making sure you get it right, all the costs of hiring sensitivity readers and the risk of your character falling apart with readers who do fit these traits?

Characters with mental health problems are very, very tricky to get right for one massive reason: Accurately depicting many disorders and anxieties means your character can come across as extremely unlikeable, uncompelling, confusing, and frustrating. These characters won’t make logical choices or arguments, they’re likely to self-sabotage, contradict themselves, argue in circles, and die on molehills they think are mountains. This is just what anxiety does to people in the real world. We are not always compelling protagonists, and we don’t always get happy endings.

Writing illogical characters takes a lot of practice if you yourself are not an illogical thinker and if you’re writing half a book elbow-deep in 3rd person limited, intimately trying to describe how this disorder impacts their daily life, you, my friend, have so much more work cut out for you than you anticipated.

So why?

It got very sticky very quickly when the message I took away from the book was “character A can love away character B’s anxiety” and that just… it’s just not how it works. That is a very dangerous mindset to have, for both parties involved.

Character A does not exist to “fix” Character B, nor should A exist to be B’s therapist.

Making A B’s “medicine” can encourage some dangerous codependency. Especially if they break up, B backslides and spirals, and A takes on guilt for not being there anymore, as if any of this is A’s fault.

It says that ‘curing’ anxiety just takes a little romance. Which. No. B has to love themselves, first, before they’re able to love anyone else or let anyone else love them.

It got stickier when the author accidentally wrote a trauma-induced ace who wanted to start liking sex to please her partner and not for her own peace of mind (with internalized self-hate for her anxieties around sex as if not liking it after a traumatic experience isn't completely justified), as if she wasn’t good enough with the boundaries she had. And the narrative backed it up because she was *cured* after a couple rounds in the sheets—I worked really hard on my Ace character guide to help stop people from doing this.

Had Character A accepted these boundaries B had, and these two come to a creative compromise around intimacy that B does like, it would have been so much healthier. B liked making out, just not being the 'recieving' partner, while A chose to die on a 'if we can't have the sex I want, I can't be in a romance with you' hill and it just broke my heart for B. B wasn't being picky. B was traumatized.

The worst thing you can do to your ace character is a) reinforce the idea that they’ve failed as a human because they don’t like sex and b) reinforce the idea that they “just haven’t found the right person yet” and this narrative hit both in the bullseye.

The author wasn’t trying to write an ace, I can tell, but aceness aside “good sex is the best cure to your sexual trauma” is… also, not great? If you yourself didn’t experience this? The point of all of this was clearly to attempt exposure therapy, it just got so bogged down with other problems that the nuance necessary to stick the landing was completely lost.

If this was fantasy, like Twilight, with Bella’s dangerous codependency on Edward in New Moon, mental health is not the point of that book. The author didn’t set out on a mission to provide respectful representation of depression and healthy relationship goals. It’s toxic as hell, but it also takes a backseat to the actual story and the audience who loves those books couldn’t care less about how toxic it is.

The books aren’t about Bella overcoming her depression. They’re about sparkly vampires and the dangers of… teen pregnancy?

It got even *stickier* when the character revealed she’d apparently been in therapy for a decade and a half, only for her therapist to shrug and go ‘I guess you’re stuck with it’ while her mental health issue became a physical health issue, because she should have had a crippling eating disorder that the narrative didn't at all take seriously.

Why would you want the stress of writing this?

—

I am not at all saying you can’t write anxious characters if you yourself are not anxious. But make that an ingredient of the pie and not the entire pie, yeah?

Ask yourself why you’re doing this. The fundamental argument of that book seemed to be “anxiety can be loved away” and from the very first page, it was doomed. That was the book’s thesis. The entire story hinged on the success of this depiction.

I can’t even be mad, because it wasn’t intended to be harmful, but it inadvertently reaffirmed so many dangerous and incorrect assumptions and stereotypes about mental health. Good intentions historically do not guarantee good results.

If you do not suffer from anxiety, you are still allowed to write a character who experiences it (Or OCD, specific phobias, BPD, what have you). I tip my hat to anyone willing to do all the work to get it right because those are all tall orders, but you aren’t blacklisted from these characters.

But with any minority, anyone who isn’t “cis, straight, white, male, neurotypical, and able-bodied” write a character who is also X, instead of an X stereotype, who happens to be your character.

#writing advice #writing resources #writing tips #writing tools #writing a book #writeblr #writing #character design #character development #mental health #mental health in media #anxiety disorder #anxiety #write what you know

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voidify333 · 7 months

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I will preface by saying I’m not in the Mario fandom, I have not watched the movie, I have never even finished any of the games

But I did read (and unironically enjoy) a few bowuigi fics when that was the meme of the day, and I currently have Our Flag Means Death on the brain, and I’ve been watching a lot of SMM2 YouTube lately which has apparently given me Mario imagery on the brain because a semi-coherent concept came to me in a dream last night and I spun it around in my head refining it for the whole morning and now I’m dropping it here to hand off to the fandom

The concept of the dream: Bowser throws a big party with the vibe of “sorry for being a tyrant and all that stuff hahaha can we be friends”, and he means it but everyone kind of suspects it’s insincere, with a similar vibe to the opening scene of OFMD s2e5

But for something to really mirror that scene someone needs to be stede. So then I thought, what if Luigi is stede in this analogy

And actually, likening Bowser to Ed creates a potentially really interesting angle on the character for fic purposes. The fics I saw while browsing the tag seemed to tend to either have it be “oh yeah everyone has forgiven him or will forgive him with time”, or have him be a total monster as a conduit for the fic to be dead dove do not eat. But Ed provides a 3rd path, a character who has genuinely hurt people who are under no obligation to forgive him, and yet is a person and you want to see him find a joyful life

Also something something his fearsome reputation precedes him and has kind of locked him into a life of doing villain shit

Idk, is this anything???

#super mario #bowuigi #bowser #king koopa #ofmd #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #ofmd season 2 spoilers

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t1oui · 5 months

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ok hear me out. after the war lily and james realize they're just good friends and the pressure of nearly being killed by the darkest wizard of their time sort of... sped things up for them. so they decide to break up and co-parent harry, and harry is chill with it b/c james lets him ride brooms whenever ("don't tell your mum") and lily lets harry cheer on teams that aren't puddlemere ("don't tell prongs").

and then one day harry says goodbye to his mum and goes to james's and starts sprinting up the stairs to tell james about this movie lily took him to see in a muggle theater when... why is regulus black, the professional quidditch player, in his house??

and eventually (it takes a while, harry got james's (un)observant genes) harry realizes jegulus is happening BEFORE HIS VERY EYES. and he ships it, definitely not just for the free puddlemere tickets.

lily begins spending more time with the lovegoods and their daughter luna, and eventually she takes harry to stay with them, too. so harry starts talking to luna about jegulus and luna just nods appreciatively like "yeah i know" bc she knows EVERYTHING and then one day they're walking in the meadow by luna's house and luna just randomly says "i saw our parents kissing" and harry is like WHAT

so it turns out while harry was busy watching his jegulus ship sail lily was getting... close with the lovegood parents. harry is surprised at first but then is chill with it and he and luna decide that their parents kissing means they are siblings. when they get back to the house and find lily, pandora, and xeno just sitting around chatting and being generally cute & fluffy they just announce that they're siblings now and their parents are trying to hold back laughs while saying like "yeah, yes, okay, you are"

but lily, who has been gushing to james about her partners while he gushes about reg, forgot to tell james about this development. so next week when harry comes over and starts talking about luna james immediately owls lily to be like "hey since when did harry have a sister?? should i know about this??" and lily, reg, and pandora collectively lose their shit b/c of course james found out about luna and harry deciding to be related via harry's neurodivergent stream of consciousness.

so then when they go to hogwarts it's the golden trio + neville (b/c i said so) and luna, who is Probably a Seer™️. also luna is good friends with cho and cedric b/c i said so (this happens during harry's 4th year and luna's 3rd).

also nuna exists (B/C I SAID SO). neville still took ginny to the yule ball (platonic soulmates fr), but neville ended up dancing more with luna, who went alone. he also gives her his shoes when hers get stolen.

nobody really knows about luna and harry being siblings since people don't really know about jegulus or xenopandalily, but this does not stop harry from giving nev a Protective Older Brother™️talk behind the greenhouses. nev respects harry and is also terrified of him b/c of this.

everybody lives, nobody dies, and they all live happily ever after. (and harry may or may not kiss cedric at some point. cho and luna may or may not definitely have a betting pool on whether they will.)

i will probably write more random drabbles for this idea, if not a whole fic or two when i have the time, b/c i adore it and i adore sibling!luna&harry.

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liquidstar · 18 days

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🔥🔥🔥🔥

For drinks, fandom, character design, and uh free choice for whatever you feel like bestie

Ok for drinks, I've actually been thinking about this all day- I saw a poll that said something like “have you ever been to a house party (with alcohol; no family parties)” and, well, maybe op meant it as two separate points of clarity but… it's normal to drink at family parties? Right? Ik it's totally not the point of the poll, but I've never been to a family party where there weren't drinks. Why would there not be drinks???? There should be drinks. Those don't have to be mutually exclusive.

I realize that you were probably asking me about drink preference opinions. I don't have any strong unpopular ones. My grandpa makes a mean moonshine though. We have it at family parties, you see.

TBH whenever I’m at parties, family or otherwise, or just at the club or a restaurant, my drink of choice is usually just “bring me something with 2 or 3 shots of vodka idk im just trying to get drunk.” im going somewhere this week that has once rejected my id bc i look young, so this time i’m bringing my whole passport. I think it’s at my parents house but i will get it. And so help me god i am going to drink this time. Thats not even an unpopular opinion just a personal grievance lol

For fandom…. My unpopular opinion is that actually it’s best to just get into stuff a couple years after the peak popularity. I know some ppl feel like they missed out, but I think it’s better. You don’t have to deal with The Fandom People, but theres still stuff to engage with, and still a following of fewer dedicated ppl who weren’t just riding a fandom hypetrain. It’s more chill. Like, I am so sorry, but rn it’s dungeon meshi. I was really enjoying it at first, but the fandom made me wanna stop, at least for now. Mostly because I dislike the way people in it seem to look down on other works within the same medium, and that also does the work itself a discredit. But yeah, I wanna try to get back into it, but I need people to, like, relax first. Thats also why im able to peacefully enjoy rezero on tumblr, where theres like 12 ppl into it, so i dont have to deal w the annoying nerdboy fans who just talk abt "waifus" (its funny that my issues are "too pretentious" and "not pretentious enough" lol)

My 3rd unpopular opinion is that fart jokes can be kinda funny but they have to be done well. im fresh off the heels of watching a movie with the kids, so thats why im thinking abt this. You can't just throw it in randomly it's about timing. And it has to know it's stupid. I think the key is it has to know it's stupid. BUT NOT GROSS. gross on its own its nothing. Adventure Time and Regular Show understand. Very deep opinions only here

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bunbunbillion · 27 days

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THE BUNBUNBILLION Q1 2024 MEDIA THREAD EXTRAVAGANZA

i've been recording everything i consume for the past few months to do a media thread at the end of every quarter. and now april is over... so its time to talk about stuff!! forever!!!!!!

01/13 - Homestuck (Re-Read)

I finished re-reading Homestuck for the... 4th? 5th time? I've lost count. It's a good way to start the year though. This time around I read it with my girlfriend, who you should give all of your money too (@yinkybaginky), and it was very fun to see someones reaction to it for the first time. She knew literally nothing about Homestuck, not even what a Vriska Serket was. A truly great experience, especially thanks in part to the Unofficial Homestuck Collection. I'll probably have more to see about Homestuck in depth on a later date, so I won't bog down this post with that. It's my favorite piece of media ever, and that's all there is really to say on the matter.

01/24-01/25 - The Trolls Movies

I've been surrounded by gay people who love Trolls for the past like 5 years so I finally decided to give them a watch on a whim with my girlfriend, after catching some of the first movie in a streamers server.

They were fun! I really don't think I have much to say on them. They're kids movies, sure, but they're also just very visually great and made me go "yeah you know what some of those old pop songs WERE pretty good". I think when it came to stories I liked the first one the most just because I liked the Bergen's a lot, I thought their whole world was very well designed and all that. Don't have the most care for Branch, and Poppy is OK as a protagonist, but otherwise I had more fun with the other characters. Creature design is absolutely excellent and is what stood out to me the most of anything, though. The animation in the 3rd movie is also top notch, I really do want to see the series continue. If they do, I like the third movies approach of finding a niche to make "the thing" for the whole movie, it's a fun way of doing stuff.

We thought this shot was really funny.

1/20 - Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio

I was gonna watch this when it came out awhiiile ago, but just put it off forever. I saw Jacob Geller had uploaded a new video about Pinocchio, which talked about the movie and was like. Man. I wanna watch that video. Guess I'll go watch this entire movie. So I hopped into VC with Netflix on and just watched it.

It was Fucking Good!!!!!!!!!!! Every good thing you've heard about the movie is absolutely true. Do yourself a favor and just watch it. That being said, I also don't have too much to say about it! It's been a few months and it hasn't totally stuck around in my head, but that just means I get to rewatch it sometime, and I can look forward to that. It mostly made me want to watch more stop motion movies.

If I were to highlight anything, its that I love to make the movie all about death. Pinocchio as a story seems to constantly get turned into this thing all about freedom and living and how great life is and all that, but this movie completely nailed that yea. Pinocchio works so much better as a movie about death. A puppet living on a blessing against the laws of nature being used as a vessel to explore acceptance of death. It's really great.

the demons are such baddies btw

01/29 - Earthbound USA

Not the game, but the documentary put together by Jazzy Benson through Fangamer. It was absolutely fantastic. Easily my favorite game documentary I've ever watched... Because it's not really about the game.

To put into words, because I imagine 90% of people reading (not including the people I watched it with) haven't seen it or even heard of it, Earthbound USA is a documentary about specifically starmen.net and Earthbounds western fanbase.

The doc highlights basically every aspect of Earthbound in the west. They talk to the people who translated the game, who made the marketing campaign, the fans who bought the game day one, the translator of the MOTHER 3 fan translation, they talk about Earthbound Zero, about the virtual console releases, the quest to get MOTHER 3 officially localized and every single defeat that came with it, I mean Shigesato Itoi is just here too. It's everything you could ask for all combined with home videos from the early 2000s, an outstanding soundtrack that gives me goosebumps from Robbie Benson, it's just... So good.

I bought the DVD for the movie and streamed that to my friends, which you can get here on Fangamer, whenever they plan on restocking it at least. Or, you can watch it on streaming services listed on their website! If your a MOTHER fan, I'd say this is like, essential viewing. It may as well be official with how good it is.

01/29 - A Brief Retrospective of The Simpsons' Golden Age

I finished this the same day. I recorded this mostly as a joke, but hey if your insane and have watched every single Simpsons episode like me and want whats basically a Simpsons Summary Podcast, I recommend this 11-hour video.

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02/06 - MOTHER

A week later I couldn't get Earthbound USA out of my head, so I decided to finally sit down and go where no MOTHER fan has gone before. To the first game in the series.

It was really really good. Like, man, I don't know why I slept on it so long just because it was an NES RPG. Ok, I mean, I know why I did, it's because it's a NES RPG, but still.

This game really highlights everything that went into its two sequels to make them so good, and has so many little unique novelties about it that make it just so so memorable. The music, the writing, the places you go, it's just... So, so good. I still think the best way to get into MOTHER is to start with Earthbound, just due to how approachable it is, but if you like it and/or MOTHER 3, do not sleep on MOTHER/Earthbound Beginnings. It's just so good.

Probably use an emulator with rewind or save-states though.

i'll be fine with not hearing magicants music anymore though

02/17 - Yakuza Kiwami 2

I started this game probably years ago, and never got that far. Yakuza 0 is definitely one of my favorite games ever, and I was kind of mixed on Yakuza Kiwami, but I was enjoying the start of Kiwami 2 for sure.

How did I feel by the end?

I mean it's not BAD, per say, it's just... Not very good, either. The gameplay never really felt like it evolved much, the writing really felt like it never picked up and just kept ADDING stuff, but at least the side quests were probably the absolute best the series has given me so far. That definitely saved it for me, but man the story. It just wasn't very good.

I had a lot more thoughts after playing it, but I think think in the end it just comes down to;

Ryuji did not get nearly enough time to shine to be an impactful villian

The bastard cop was a character I was given no reason to care for, and the focus put on him did not feel earned in any way

Kiryu really did not feel that involved with everything going on

Sayama did not get nearly enough agency in this story

As for the twists, I didn't like how many there were at first, but I think by the end there were just so many twists I was like. Yeah nvm this is so fucking stupid it owns. So good on them for that!

I don't think I'll ever replay the main story for this game, but I will absolutely come back to those side quests, they're so good I don't want to spoil a single one. I am also really enjoying Yakuza 3 so far, so that's a we might just be back regardless.

the selfie feature is really funny. you really feel like your some 40 year old dad.

02/22 - Pokemon Scarlet and Violet: The Hidden Treasures of Area Zero - Epilogue

I have a lot of thoughts on Pokemon Scarlet & Violet. I am a HUGE Pokemon freak, like omega huge freak levels of such. I will claw and bite tooth and nail defending Sword and Shield any fucking day of the week. I think Scarlet and Violet are like, painfully mid games in such a disheartening way. I still enjoyed a lot of it, but man it's so held back by... everything, really.

And the DLC fixed I'd say about none of it. In fact, I'd go as far to say the 2 DLC stories only highlight and strengthen every single problem scarvi has as a game and it disheartens me, so, so so much. Unlike the Sword and Shield epilogues, which expanded upon the best parts of the game and experimented with brand new formats as prep for the next generation, scarvi kinda just does. Nothing. It's more Scarlet and Violet, slime grease and all.

Kitakami is... Ok, I guess? It's an exceptionally uninteresting region with absolutely no landmarks that stand out in my mind. The story in it is pretty subpar, it's a really annoying kind of "player has no control over a misunderstanding" narrative in a really obnoxious way and by god I'll say it I never really get a reason to care about Kieran. He's not bad by any means, I mean he's just a kid, but really I don't feel like I'd ever call him a friend. The story with the Loyal Three and Ogrepon is really cute though, I do love that they completely flipped the story of Momotaro on its head in such a fun and unique way.

Blueberry Academy I was looking forward to much more, thinking that while Kitakami was really rushed and pretty bad, it must mean more resources were just put towards the second DLC. I was pretty wrong, it was basically just as under baked... But also still better, regardless. They introduce a lot of characters you won't really remember with this DLC, and it feels weird because it feels like there SHOULD be more to these characters, but it's all confined to a pretty short campaign.

The story is pretty ok, and I like what they did with Kieran here, but the second you beat him in the champion fight the story like, immediately halts the breaks and everything stops mattering. I really thought Drayton might've been set up as an interesting antagonist, someone subtly bullying Kieran and egging on how he is, but in the end he's just a well meaning friend who's just eccentric. All the other trainers basically disappear as well, and Kieran reverts back to how he was before all this for the most part. Then the story with Terapagos has to happen, and you get the return to Area Zero, except with your new friends you've barely built bonds with and Briar instead.

Similar to Drayton, I thought Briar might've been getting set up to be a bit fucked up. She's pretty obsessed with Area Zero and proving that Heath was right, and that feels like obvious easy set up for a villain right? Obsession is kind of the text book villain motive, especially in a series like Pokemon. But, no, like Drayton, Briar is actually exactly as she seems, and there's nothing underneath.

Unfortunetly, Area Zero itself was also not as interesting on revisit. I imagine it was the far lower budget, but it ends up mostly just being a very basic crystal-cave environment, without that really fascinating hollow-earth vibe Area Zero has in the base game. You're also mostly just traveling alone going on fetch quests to beat mini-boss Pokemon to open up gates, so that feeling of traveling an unknown place with friends is also completely lost. In the end, Terapagos isn't much of a character at all, like Ogrepon (or Miraidon/Koraidon) are, and is just kinda There. I'm sure the anime is doing a lot more with them, given they're a main character, but man they are NOTHING in this game and it's really disappointing with how incredibly hyped up they are.

In the end though, the thing I really came out loving with the second DLC was something I didn't actually know about until after finishing the epilogue, which was the brief interaction with the Professor in Kitakami once you have Terapagos. I won't spoil it, I'd recommend going to the crystal lake in Kitakami with Terapagos in your party to see it, but it was a moment where I was really like... Damn. This story really could've been something special.

NOW WITH ALL THAT OUT OF THE WAY, it was the Epilogue that I beat this year, which acts both as a bonus to the DLC, and a Mythical Pokemon event similar to ones from the DS games. And, I gotta say.

It's easily the best thing in the entire DLC, bar none.

Despite just being a revisit to Kitakami, the Epilogue is not only better written then both of the DLC chapters, but actually shows that promise for future games like the SWSH DLC did years ago. I had a smile on my face basically the entire time.

First off, hanging out with the three friends again after they basically disappear once you beat the game is so incredibly refreshing. Just having them over to your house is the first time in a Pokemon game I've actually felt that like... Oh, I'm a kid hanging out with my friends, kind of feeling. That original inspiration the Pokemon series had was just completely captured with that, and I love it, and it continues through the entire DLC. On top of that, the DLC does a lot of very small things with its cutscenes that I felt were really missing from the main game that actually completely caught me off guard. Seamless transition between overworld cutscenes, cinematic cutscenes, and battles mainly. It feels like Pokemon games have always struggled with taking you out of the story for loading screens or transitions or letting the player wander off or something. It's hard to immerse, but with this DLC just through the most simple methods they really catch you off guard with the cutscene framing and battle starts in a way I absolutely adore, especially since your with your friends who can actually Talk for you too. Helps that all of the writing is just really funny too, I had such a good time.

Overall, I think this is where I want the Pokemon series to go. The segment of Area Zero where you travel with all your friends already stood out to a lot of people, but didn't have the most writing to back it up. Similarly, this DLC has all of the writing, but it can feel like you aren't actually traveling with your friends, as they don't follow you. I think having a Pokemon game where you travel directly with other people in a bit of a party is the way to go with expanding on Pokemon as a series, and this DLC combined with base scarvi really proves How it can work. It makes me so excited to see where we can go from here, and I can only hope they learned from all these mistakes.

wow i had a fucking lot to say about scarlet and violet dlc and i didnt even mention this thing. whatever.

02/26 - Splatoon 3: Side Order

Funny story, I actually beat Splatoon 3 on a friends copy, but on my own switch, so when this DLC came out I ended up buying an entire new copy of Splatoon 3, with DLC, and an already completed save file. So was the DLC worth 80 bucks? I mean, no, not at all, but it was extremely good!!

It came out while I was out of town with my girlfriend, so we had a lot of fun playing it together, and I think it's just overall a genius idea for a Splatoon mode. It makes me like, viscerally crave an even bigger Splatoon roguelike, but I'm also like an extreme roguelike freak. The story was super cute (my big "I <3 PEARLINA" shirt notwithstanding) and basically everything it introduces is great. I haven't actually beaten the Agent 8 locker yet, because I'm Bad At Splatoon </3, but I everything else was just so good.

im actually extremely biased, btw

02/27 - Ponyo (Rewatch)

I rewatched Ponyo with my girlfriend while I was over for the first time since I was a wee little amoeba. It was so fucking cute!!!! I really do love Ghibli movies a lot. I don't think there's a lot I can say about Ponyo, per say, at least not as much as other Ghibli movies I love like Spirited Away (my fave movie evarr), but I think this movie combined with like. Finding Nemo, Animal Jam, and going to the Houston Aquarium combined are probably why I love marine biology so much now.

02/29 - Death Note

The anime, to be specific, for the first time. Yeah, I can see why this became such a big thing with fujoshis. I get it, I understand now. I'm sorry L, I didn't know your game.

Death Note is overall both an anime of its time, and an absolute classic you should be watching. It's engaging, it's dramatic, it's funny, and there's so many points where your just like "damn are they gonna bone" about the two characters the authors 100% had no intention to be seen in that way.

It's only real problems come from the authors also having no fucking clue what to do with women in the story, and making pretty annoyingly shallow characters that get sidelined really hard. The final arc is also a bit head scratching, but it makes for good drama, so I can't really complain, even if I remember a lot less of it. Great show, great ending. Where's my Misa & Rem yuri manga series.

he really is just fucking jeff the killer huh

02/29 - Promare

Watched this with my girlfriend on a whim, cus we wanted to watch a movie together. I've been a very lowkey TRIGGER studios fan since I was a kid, watching Kill la Kill when I was way too young to be watching shows that crazy boobed, but it did definitely contribute to my transgender-ness, so you can't fault it there (you can fault it for a lot of other things though). No matter what though, when TRIGGER just randomly came out with a full feature length movie released in theaters, I was pretty interested. Which is why I didn't watch it for years.

After watching it though? Yea, that was really fun. It's not much in the way of story, very basic Minority Allegory story I think, but it's all to make way for extremely crazy action scenes and homages to all their favorite mecha anime, which like, yea props they did a great job. Character design is extremely fun, environments are super colorful, animation is what you'd expect from TRIGGER (good), and there's a lot of man tits this time around. I recommend it!

03/04 - 2001: A Space Odyssey

I'll be so fucking honest I watched this on my phone on a plane ride and I don't fucking know anything that happened. I think it was good?? I think it made sense??? I really wanted to fall asleep but I really wanted to watch the movie. It felt like it was simultaneously 4 hours long and 30 minutes. I think I should probably watch it again. I don't know why I chose to watch it on a plane. But hey, I did!

watching this shit while half awake on a dark plane felt like i was in another fucking dimension. what the hell happened

03/08 - Fortnite Chapter 5: Season 1

Hey Fortnite, I play that game! Sometimes.

I've been pretty consistently "playing" Fortnite since Chapter 2: Season 5, and I do really like the game. I love the gameplay, I love all the stupid crossovers, I loved the story, it was just a really fun time!

Well, up until like half way through Chapter 3 at least. The problem with Fortnite is that, no matter what, in the end of the day, it's still owned by Epic Games, and that means at some point, shits gonna get sloppy. I won't go over my whole history with how I feel Fortnites been on a decline since Chapter 3, but I can at least say i was pretty fucking checked out most of Chapter 4. I really didn't like it.

So, coming back on for Chapter 5? Oh shit this game is actually fun I forgot. Played a shit ton that season, actually finished the main battle pass for once, had so much fun with all the new things they added, it really feels like Fortnites back.

Oh... and there's that LEGO mode... and that rockband mode... and there's racing I guess... I didn't really touch them much but they're neat... They were pushing those modes pretty hard, I hope this isn't a sign of something to come... I'm sure they'll keep up the momentum for the next season right? Battle Royale is totally back, right?

i ended up staying up till like the last day grinding in creative to get this emote. im so glad i can make perfect cell do the bird is the word dance now.

03/12 - King of Crusher

I beat this game over on my twitch, you can catch me live playing obscure games every so often each month!! Check it out and give me money! I said mostly everything I wanted to say about it on stream, but this game was just a really fascinating little art project that was both really frustrating and really funny to play. I really wanna find more little gems like this to play, it's so ODD but fun.

03/15 - Animal Crossing (Movie)

Watched this movie as apart of a movie night with my groupchat and it was adorables so cutes! I don't think there's really anything I COULD say about this movie, but it does really make me wish Nintendo was more willing to make more stuff like it. Just a really well animated fun anime movie that's not trying to be this big thing.

the ending caught me completely off fucking guard though

03/17 - Unpacking

Similar to Animal Crossing, I don't really have a lot to say about this game besides so cutes! The story told through the environment was super adorable and I really do think back to this game a lot in a very emotional way.

That being said, I wish it was a tad longer for how expensive it was, as great as the art was lol

If you can find it on sale though, go play it!!

i was playing with my girlfriend and we ended up interpreting the main character as really hating her boyfriend. my fucking Pig of a husband wont let me put my posters on the wall. my Pigly husband. i need to Kill my Meat Pig of a Husband.

03/17 - Pizza Tower (The Noise Update)

In complete tonal contrast to Unpacking, I beat the Noise Update in Pizza Tower right after. It was, like Pizza Tower, really good, but not without its flaws.

In the time since I've played Pizza Tower, I've reflected a lot on what I love about the game and what I honestly don't care much for. I've been playing demos since the very first public one, and I've loved watching it evolve, but if there's one bit of context I've gotten that shapes how I look at the game, it's that the games creator has a really big issue with having a lot of ideas for stuff, and not really thinking about how they fit in together.

Pizza Tower is like, a REALLY good game, don't get me wrong. The movement is borderline perfect, the level design is consistently fun and flows well, the graphics are unmatched in how expressive they are, the music is some of my fave from the entire medium, but if there's one thing really holding back Pizza Tower it's that lack of focus, and I think you can boil that down to the core game design of levels.

Pizza Tower is easy to compare to Wario Land, given that's its primary inspiration, but I think it's much more akin to Sonic, which is also a major inspiration for it. The problem is, it definitely tries to apply Wario Lands brand of "wario can be anything" to sonics "levels can be anything". Sonic levels are all about super quick flashy levels you can blast through, each one having a gimmick unique to the level that you learn, master, and then use throughout the multiple zones. On the other end, Wario Land presents you with these large winding interior-like levels that you slowly (or somewhat quickly in the case of entries like WL4), navigate and solve puzzles throughout for treasure, with your main solution typically landing on how Wario himself can be controlled using various gimmicks unique to him. Your presented a gimmick, and then you remember that gimmick for the future so you can use it to solve a future puzzle. In many ways, these two games can almost feel like the opposite kind of game, only linked by being sidescrolling platformers where you can bust through walls. Pizza Tower, despite that, tries to be both, and in many ways succeeds, but cant avoid the problems that inherently comes with trying to be these two very polar ends.

Basically, I just feel theres a lot of really forgettable levels and an overall problem with gimmicks getting absolutely no chance to be explored so you can never really be rewarded in basic play for mastering a gimmick, other then replaying a level multiple times. I think less gimmicks but more places to use the same ones would be really great.

Talking about the Noise update specifically, it was just a fun retake on the main game, and made for a fun replay after not playing Pizza Tower for about a year since release. I find it really fascinating how even after changing how the entire game controls, the levels still work with minimal changes. I'm looking forward to see if they decide to change it any more in the future, and I hope whatever comes after Pizza Tower can be a much more focused experience.

03/17 - Hiveswap Act 1 (Replay)

See; Homestuck Reread. Been here a billion times, here to show my girl this time. I'll probably scream about this one later. <3

03/20 - Rescue Shot

See; King of Crusher. Another stream game! This one I liked even more, though I Really wish I had a lightgun (or could fix the mouse controls on my emulator). Incredibly adorable game with insanely good music, check out the VOD if your interested!

03/25 - Super Mario Bros. (1993)

I feel like in recent time, people have been hyping up this movie as like, secretly a really good film that people only hate because it's not a Mario movie. I'll be real, after watching it for the first time, I don't see it at all, I think this is just an incredibly funny bad movie.

Beyond not being Mario, which really doesn't matter at all, it kind of just felt like a fever dream of a script. Things kept HAPPENING there wasn't a single second to break I felt like I was in a nightmare hell dimension being blasted with insane plot beats and I couldn't keep track of anything. Without the Mario branding this would be like 10x LESS comprehensible, but good lord.

Maybe this is like, an arthouse film, and I need to watch it 12 more times and be high at least half those times, but idk I think it might actually be bad guys. Big Bertha a baddie though.

03/29 - The Croods

Another movie night with friends, we got the PRIVILEGE of watching The Croods. I saw it once when I was a kid, but I didn't really remember anything about it other then there was a character named Grug.

I now realize that the reason I remember this character is because this movie literally lied and he's the main character. It really tries to set up that the conventionally attractive main teenage girl is the protagonist but no this movie is 100% about Grug and it's so fucking Particular. Why pretend it's not about him when he becomes our sole point of view for half the film? Why pretend its about the teenage girl when she basically doesn't have any dialogue for the last 25% of the movie? What is this movie trying to say, politically? This movies a thinker. I think its a bigger thinker then 2001, honestly.

04/12 - Police Story

The first Jackie Chan movie I've ever seen and damn what a fucking good one to start with. Insanely entertaining, incredibly funny, and just a really great film! I don't think I have much else to say about it other then gush about each and every scene and how well made it is, but it really makes me wish we could get movies like this more. Just a practical effect wonderland where the main guy is just having fun with people on set. It's great.

hes kind of a babygirl

04/13 - Con Air

Actually the first time I've seen this movie, surprisingly, given my attachment to the media that has essentially co-opted this film. It wasn't good, like at all, but it was very very entertaining with friends. I didn't expect it to get so much into like, weird racism stuff?? Characters just keep appearing and getting named it's so fucking weird. What was the deal with Steve Buscemi's character, I feel like scenes were cut or something. Nick Cage was incredibly funny as the lead. It's the thing you watch with friends on 4/13, what else can I say.

why did he do this

04/19 - The Princess Bride

Honestly, I thought this one was a rewatch when we put it on in the GC, but I think I just remembered watching clips of it or seeing half of it on TV as a kid, so I'll just consider this a first time watch. It's really good! Just a fun simple movie full of extremely witty jokes. It's kind of like watching a Simpsons episode for the first time and getting to a part where they say something and you go "oh i've heard this quoted like a fucking million times, i get it now". If you haven't seen this movie, whattarya doin, go watch it!

i feel like were it not for andre being basically irreplaceable we would have a netflix reboot about these three right now. maybe that does exist already.

04/21 - PokeRogue

Half this thread is Pokemon and as I already said, I'm a roguelike freak. This game is like crack for me. That being said it's just alright. I think I'll be willing to judge it more once it's more finished and not just Pokemon in the most barebones form imaginable, coding wise. It's the basis for an extremely addicting game, and I plan on sinking even more hours into it soon. Extra points for using PMD music as well <3

im only just now finding out the rival is gendered. hey cunts let me play as a girl and get the girl rival or you hate me ok?

04/22 - The Mask (2023)

Now you may be wondering, The Mask? The movie from ten TRILLION years ago staring the homunculi known only as Jim Carrey? You'd be a fool to assume this. I am talking instead about Connor O' Malley's current best work, THAT The Mask.

There's not much I want to say about it, because I just think it's good, but if there's one thing I can say it's that Joker (2019) should be fucking embarrassed in how hard it was stood up by this short film.

Content warning for pretty heavy themes and a lot of crass jokes.

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04/23 - Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) & Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) (Rewatch)

In preparation for the Knuckles show (which I still haven't finished), I decided it'd be nice to rewatch these two films for the first time. I haven't seen the first one since I watched it for the first time before Sonic 2, and I haven't seen Sonic 2 since I saw it at an early screening. What do I think of them now in retrospect?

Yeah, not very good films. Very fun! But damn, yea wow, I think with enough time to look back on them, there's a lot I really don't care for in them, and I'm not just talking about the human scenes.

I've been having a lot of conversations about adaptations lately, so I'll mostly summarize my thoughts here. In making an adaptation, your one mission in my eyes is maintaining what made the original loved. Not good, because that's not really a quantifiable thing. Not faithfully, because I feel you can make a good adaptation without being faithful. All you need to truly keep is the Reason people came to that piece of media originally, in my eyes. Whether that means going as hard as you can with something like The Last of Us, which essentially 1 to 1 recreates an entire video game, or be much more out there like with One Piece (Netflix), which essentially tells the same story but with wildly different circumstance and aesthetic.

The Sonic movies, in my eyes, simply don't capture that. In the first movie alone, Sonic and Eggman are essentially our only ties to the games, which is fine as long as they can nail them right, right? And, as many before me have really pointed out, no they don't really at all. Sonic isn't really like Sonic at all, he's a much younger, innocent, and hyperactive "version" of the character, and I say version in quotations because I don't really feel like with those adjectives removed he'd be all that similar to Sonic still. This is basically a new character, and that's fine, but I'd be hard pressed to say it captures what brought people to Sonic. Similarly, Eggman is very much not really similar to any iteration to Eggman at all (except maybe AoSTH?) A lot of people love Jim Carrey Eggman, and I totally get why, but man he really has never clicked with me. I think I like canon Eggman too much to let go, it's over for me.

But I'm sure anyone who's been around Sonic long enough has heard a trillion complaints about the first movie. In rewatching the second movie, I found that it moved way faster then I remembered, and just had way less.. character? Tails is so incredibly shoehorned in, which is a common complaint, but it really felt like at times Sonic was too?

In Sonic games, Sonic isn't exactly a character we put ourselves in the shoes of. Sonic is like this cool older brother we're just along with for the ride. If anything we insert ourselves (as kids) in Tails' shoes. Sonic doesn't really have an internal monologue, nor does he really tend to need a big shonen arc to overcome in his games. He's very much this vessel to explore other characters, to see how people respond to his brash and cocky personality. In that way, Sonic works really well, but can struggle really hard when he's placed all alone. He needs people to not only bounce off of, but to do the emotional side of the story in his stead. With the Sonic movies, we get this very very diffrent form of Sonic being put into this scenarios the canon Sonic wouldn't typiclaly find himself in, and see how he acts. It can work for original stories, because it's basically an original character, but that's the struggle with Sonic 2, and I worry Sonic 3 as well. They aren't fully original stories. Sonic 2 is a loose adaptation of Sonic 3 in most ways, with Knuckles being the true second character, and Tails being mostly to the side. Knuckles acts basically perfectly, like yea that's Knuckles, no notes there outside of maybe not taking his heritage seriously enough, but that's him. So how do you write this movie sonic into this adaptation with a Knuckles whos playing it basically straight like the games? Well... I mean, you kind of just... You, don't, really? Sonic is really just There sometimes, to say quips and to move the story forward. With exception to the scene where he's having a feeling jam with Knux, which I like, Sonic is very much Just There, and it feels really odd. In the games, this works because of his aforementioned status as this guy your along with for the ride, a dude whos too cool to even be the protagonist, but Sonic Movie Sonic IS the protagonist. He's meek and still learning and is far from the asshole we know in the games and comics, but implanted into a games storyline, he just doesn't have much he can do. He can't be that too cool guy that let's his friends do the talking, because he's already been set up as this superhero esque main guy who needs to learn a lesson by the end of the film, or overcome some kind of arc. It's just all odd in retrospect, and I really wonder how they're gonna tackle it in Sonic 3, especially without all the characters that make Sonic Adventure 2s gears go.

i also couldnt stop staring at his teeth in the movie. i really dont like the teeth idk why im just now noticing them.

04/25 - Pseudoregalia

Knocked this game off my backlog and I'm really happy I did! Beat the game with all the time trials done and I really do love it. I want to call it the perfect length, but really I think it was just a bit too short and I hope we can get more content in the future, I'm definitely itching for more levels and maybe even more time trials.

I can't think of much else to say about the game. I don't think I picked up on the story much at all, I'll probably have to ask my girlfriend about it sometime, but it's not exactly a big part of the game. The music was absolutely fantastic, and I adore all of the costumes for the main character. I like her design, for many obvious reasons.

For further criticism besides length though, combat feels pretty useless. There's really no point in the game where I ever feel like I have to or even SHOULD fight, and the final boss ends up losing a lot of impact because of it. Enemies just become a hazard in navigating the world in a way that isn't particularly fun. Similarly, there were a few upgrades that had maybe one use ever and I don't even know why they're there. I think this game could benefit a lot from playing even harder into it's all too obvious inspirations and just getting a bunch of RPG mechanics and more RPG inspired elements in here. Give me Symphony of the Bunny-Cat-Goatgirl, full on.

I also watched madagascar 2 with friends, but i don't even feel like counting it. watch this fucked up compressed video instead.

THAT'S IT FOR Q1 2024!! I'm really trying to look at a lot this year, and I hope to have EVEN MORE TO TALK ABOUT in 4 months! maybe ill do it even earlier because damn this was a fucking lot to write. If you read this far thank you, I'll be sending you a giant mettalic muscular butler sir in the mail as thanks.

#bunny post #2024 media thread #Youtube

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munchflix · 7 months

Text

MUNCHFLIX - FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S

IMDB BLURB: A troubled security guard begins working at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. During his first night on the job, he realizes that the night shift won't be so easy to get through. Pretty soon he will unveil what actually happened at Freddy's.

WARNINGS: It's pg-13 dude.

RATING: It's not horror, but it is FNAF.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER:

Munch: SO it's time for us to watch Five Nights at Freddy's. I previewed this last night but Biscuits refused to watch it until now.

Biscuits: I don't have any tequila, I'm sad about this. I do have whiskey.

M: I unfortunately must remain sober. Everyone seems to love this movie, I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm just a curmudgeon.

B: Dude it's five freddys at night. It's like that wojack meme of them pointing at freddy. It's him, the fredbear from the night. By the way this movie was announced 8 YEARS AGO. A time when I was still invested in FNAF lore.

M: I admit to knowing a fair amount of FNAF lore myself, but it kinda ends after the 3rd game because I stopped caring. Oh yeah the movie.

B: What's happening?

M: A security guard is going through some shit. It's incredibly dark. You can almost tell what's happening. He's gonna get his face eaten off by a freddy head. As is par. To make you think this is a horror movie.

B: The new Saw movie looks great! Bold choice to do a crossover with Five Nights at Freddy's.

M: I do like the look of things. They did a good job of recreating the pizzeria in all it's glory, it's very accurate.

B: Blumhouse because of course it is.

M: The opening animations an obvious nod to the games. There are SO many.

B: I like the funky synth music. It's no Toreador March, but….Josh Hutcherson has emerged from a decade of irrelevancy! Formerly known for his critically acclaimed role in Trapped In An Island with Josh Hutcherson.

There make be snakes!

M: He's a decent dude, he should have had the fame that Jennifer Lawrence had. Josh, I mean MIKE, has a sister he has to take care of and he's a security guard at…some mall. Doesn't matter. He's into dreams.

B: He hasn't aged a day, he's just acquired some facial hair. Now he's chasing some kid and his dad, he thinks he just witnessed a child abduction but actually…

M: He just beat the shit out of some dude for no reason. And now the employment department!

B: This is the kind of discrimination single dads face on a daily basis, Josh.

M: And now Matthew Lilliard, who is COMPLETELY SQUANDERED in this movie. He has never put less than 1000 percent cunt into every role and they wasted him.

B: Two months at a job? Me too, Josh.

M: His uh…job counselor is kinda sus.

B: Listen bud you have limited job options, join the club.

M: Are you suggesting we get a job at the FNAF pizzeria?

B: I wish all job counselors were this honest. The hours are bad, the pay is awful…

M: They keep not saying his last name which I guess is supposed to be a twist so we think he's Mike Afton but the twist is he's Mike Schmidt. No spoilers tho.

B: The twist is he's Michael Myers! He has a weird little sister and she does creepy things.

M: Possibly psychic. Very sixth sense going on here. Mike has a bit of a pill problem and somehow can go to sleep listening to the most annoying bird sounds in all existence. ASMR you're trapped in an aviary.

B: I remember this part of the FNAF lore. Where he has a little brother who gets kidnapped. Is this canon? I think they made this up for the movie.

M: It's not.

B: Why does he have a child?

M: It's his sister.

B: So his parents just popped out another one 20 years later???

M: Sure, why not. And now the awful Aunt and the best character in this whole movie. DOUG the lawyer. I love him. She wants custody of the sister, Abby. Mike doesn't want this. He's kind of a jerk about it though.

Doug is the most relatable character in the movie tbh

B: There has to be some sort of like…inciting factor. We gotta have some reason why he's gotta work at five nights at fredericks. He's gotta keep custody of his sister. Finally, Five Nights at Freddys is in the Five Nights at Freddy's movie. If I'm in the movie theater with my five year old son, he doesn't care about Josh Hutcherson! He wants to see the funny guy from the youtube video!!

M: Well TOO BAD! Because there's a lot more Josh Hutcherson than Freddy's.

B: What year is it?? It's implied to still be the 80's but the place is all closed down and they have an old looking tv? They gotta keep it ambiguous or people would start talking about the bite of 87 or whatever.

M: There are so many easter eggs. The celebrate poster from the game, the fucking desk fan, the training video, I could go on and on.

B: This training video is def 80's. This technology existed in the 80's btw, the government was just hiding it from everyone. Actually they're alive because ghosts and not lithium batteries but…What a great analog horror video. I'm subscribing to this channel.

M: Balloon boy jump scare! Nothing ever happens on night 1 though. So Mike is just gonna take a walky and then take a nap.

B: I can almost see anything in this fucking movie! It's so dark! It's like watching a Zack Snyder movie. Maybe in a theater it would look better...?

M: I really think it's just the fucking death of film lighting period. I do think the animatronics look good. They look really damn good.

B: They looked kinda crap in the trailer. Sleempy Mike. Now he's having more PTSD nightmares about his brother getting kidnapped.

M: But wait! There's more chilluns! In his dream, as is normal.

B: We're the children from the FNAF who got murdered.

M: You are correct. 6 am reference! Time to go home. Mike isn't paying his babysitter.

B: It's nice to have a girl who will watch his sister for free. I assumed they died in cancer/plane crash. Sparky's is a reference. That's MatPat.

M: The babysitter is sus. And her other friend and the evil aunt are having lunch while conspiring against Mike. I love Doug.

B: So the Aunt is like…the villian…the antagonist character?

M: I mean…sort of. It's possible she's in cahoots with Afton on some level but it's never confirmed. Back at home Mike is being a terrible parent again and Abby wants to go to FNAF world with him but this is a really bad idea. Now…if you were a criminal….and you wanted to make Mike look bad, when would you go trash the place?

B: When he's there.

M: Thank you. Mike is asleep again.

B: Thanks Blumhouse I can almost see what's going on in the movie. How many times are we gonna see sweaty Josh running around in a forest in this movie?

M: You have no idea. He's dreaming of the FNAF kids again because he thinks they know where his brother is. One of them cuts him and he bleeds IRL.

B: Wow I was scare.

M: And now there's a cop at the door. As is also normal and part of the FNAF canon.

B: Vanessa is a reference.

M: That's not a reference, that's part of the canon! Because why not.

B: They had to put some shit from security breach in here cos it's the new one.

M: Vanessa suspiciously knows a lot and isn't giving us any info why.

B: Mike, just Mike. No last name.

M: Vanessa is here to give us some EXPOSITION. Because fuck show don't tell!

B: It's great that all these arcade machines are still plugged in after 10, 20 years.

M: This part made me have Chuck E Cheese flashbacks.

A powerful bear...named Frederick Entertainment Fazbear

B: Playing covers of popular songs was a big thing in these types of restaurants.

M: Something something some kids went missing.

B: Back in the 80's!! Could you please tell me what fucking year it is??? This motherfucker is listening to a cassette player so unless he's some kind of hipster? I hated that scene btw. Go away I hate you.

M: Unfortunately she will be here so much more.

B: So the criminals are breaking in…after he's left???

M: Yes!

B: Even if you wanted to frame him, the CCTV footage is gonna tell them when you were there! But okay I guess?? Oh there's still money in the arcade machine? It's not like they empty those every day.

M: I love the random older man who's just hanging out with these teenaged criminals.

B: He's been bustin up abandoned buildings since back in the 80's!

M: One of them finds Chica's cupcake and it does a spooky and then Chica does a spooky. Almost all the violence happens offscreen because….pg13.

B: They couldn't make this an R rated movie because it's Five Nights at Freddy's. The people who grew up with it are all adults now but the target audience remains basically the same.

M: Bonnie does a spooky.

B: I literally can't see anything in that shot! Also appreciate the attempt to get away with a huge bag of COINS, the heaviest and least valuable denomination of money you can get. You might have 50 bucks MAX in quarters.

Also Bonnie. he's cool.

M: The point is that they're all getting murdered. Offscreen. Very darkly. And yet they did not even try to bother Mike.

B: Mike left!

M: It's been two nights he's been there though!

B: Okay…I guess.

M: Freddy bites Max the babysitter completely in half. But we only see the shadow.

B: We get Plato's allegory of the cave violence! We never get to see it directly.

Also Sparky the Dog. he's cool.

M: Back at home Abby draws more pictures and Mike Mike's all over the place while she magically finds the custody papers.

B: They're watching public domain cartoons.

M: From the 80's. Vanessa shows up at their house to tell them that someone broke into the pizzeria. She found Mike's pills.

B: The year is killing me, is it the 90's??? Early 00s maybe? If it was the 10's everyone would be on their smart phones. Is this really criminal negligence?? He didn't lock the doors to this ABANDONED BUILDING!!!?? IT'S ABANDONED!!!

M: Now Mike is gonna exposit all over Vanessa about how he takes the pills to try and remember the dream of when his brother was taken in a lucid dream every night. He's very talented to have the same dream every night.

B: I really hate Vanessa, she's completely insufferable.

M: I agree. Also can I take a moment to talk about how fucking SLOW this is. The pacing is awful.

B: I don't give a shit. I don't care about your dreams. Shut up. I'm here with my 10 year old who wanted to see the funny Fazbear on the screen and he's ASLEEP right now! That wasn't even english on the walkie talkie, when cops talk on those they don't just go GNWEUIFHB98FHNWIEFNEI

M: Your son is now 10???

B: Shut up! I don't even have a son!

M: We are halfway through.

B: I do not understand. What even is gonna happen.

M: So Mike is gonna take Abby to work at FNAF but I gotta stop for a minute because…people DIED in there. Did Vanessa find the bodies? Are the bodies still there? Did someone clean them up? She didn't even mention that to Mike????

B: Who called the police to report the break in?

M: If they did, did only Vanessa show up??

B: Is Vanessa even really a police officer?

Vanessa is lookin pretty SUS. (that's still a funy joek in 2023, rite?)

M: That's a very good question! Mike is just like, you're gonna sleep and I'm gonna watch the monitors and this is a totally safe idea. Abby is well known to behave.

B: I'm sure nothing bad will happen.

M: I guess he's gonna clean up. If he was Nick Cage this would've been done forever ago.

B: He's gotta stop and have a cola and play pinball.

M: Actually, he's gonna nap! Because that's the responsible thing to do!

B: All the excitement from the FNAF games you love like DARK ROOMS! NAPPING! AND OFFSCREEN MURDER! Well I guess that last one is fair.

M: So of corpse, Abby wakes up and fucks off. But it's cool because of reasons.

B: Bro…is this the only way we could convey the story of the missing kids…80 sequences of Mike in the woods? A lot of the people watching this already know all this. This review makes it sound like I just hate FNAF and that's not really the truth.

M: I don't hate FNAF at all, but this movie is so utterly middling. We're halfway through and 90 percent of the movie has been Mike dreaming. But now he's out there and the animatronics are all there and alive and playing with Abby.

B: He's gonna fight Freddy with a chair.

M: Just like in the games. They're well known to be friendly to children.

B: Abby is a special psychic child.

M: Mike is wigging just a bit as anyone would.

B: I mean in real life they're wired to the stage so…yeah.

M: Freddy is still looking at Mike like, you're on thin fuckin' ice.

B: Wow this movie is jam packed with chills and thrills and I am on the edge of my seat right now. To quote Arin Hanson, "Just…something happen, PLEASE!"

M: I mean some dudes got killed but...

B: I couldn't even see it happening! Hey Abby wtf is going on btw.

M: Her friends she's been drawing all movie are apparently the FNAF kids because of course they are. How she knows them???

B: You'd better start believing in ghost stories Mister Hutcherson…

M: Mike is like hey remember our dead brother who died ages before you were born? You drew him getting kidnapped, so…explain. Was it the boy from my dreams? Oh it was?

B: Trying to use her psychic powers to solve a crime but all they talk about is a yellow rabbit. Exploit your sister to resolve your own personal trauma. I don't see this going well.

M: Back with Vanessa who is at FNAF for some fucking reason, Mike and Abby show up and Mike is like hey did you think to mention that there are ghost kids possessing the robots? And now they're gonna build a fucking fort. The animatronics too. This is a real thing that is happening.

B: How does something like that even right itself….?

M: I have no idea. I don't know why Mike is suddenly on board with all this. I would not be under there with them.

Everyone's just vibin' :)

B: Mike is finally asking questions he should have been asking a long time ago. Vanessa explains the springlocks because that will obviously be important later. And Vanessa, who was like YEAH FORT is now like HOW DARE YOU BRING ABBY HERE.

M: Who the hell are you Vanessa, that's something you should've asked like forever ago. Abby tries to strum Bonnie's geetar and gets minorly electrocuted but it's no big.

B: Oh my GOD. Sorry Abby, I'm kind of an asshole.

M: So now he's gonna do an even bigger asshole thing and call Aunty Shrew to come babysit and possibly you know…take custody of his sister so he can keep napping. Abby is not happy. The Pharmacist is the second best person in this movie.

B: He's doing dream magic because.. it's…you know. He couldn't just do this at night.

M: It is night.

B: It was just morning!

M: It took a really long time at the pharmacy okay. And now for the UMPTEENTH TIME, trapped in a dream forest with Josh Hutcherson.

B: But whyyyyyyy.

M: The ghost children are like, hey give us Abby and you can dream about your dead brother. And he's like OKAY. Mike kinda is an asshole. He immediately changes his mind but that's not how a deal with the devil works. The kids run around him uh…slicing him up for some reason.

B: And now he's in the saw trap where the first security guy presumably died.

M: Good thing it's slow moving. But he gets out becaus he's the protagonist.

B: Okay so…the bodies are still here. There's some gore. That's your PG-13 right there.

M: In the super secret room nobody can ever find but two people have now stumbled into. Back with evil Auntie, Abby is hiding in her room and Freddy is just there.

B: Frederick is in the house. You somehow didn't hear him enter even though he must weigh a ton. Like as much as a small car. He's murdered Auntie Jane.

M: And now the chillest taxi driver on earth who is somehow fine giving a ride across town to a small child and a giant animatronic.

I gifed the animatronics because they're the most interesting thing on screen but trust me, these gifs severly overstate how much they are in the movie.

B: How does Freddy even fit in a human sized car?

M: I don't know.

B: Vanessa is tending to Mike's wounds. She conveniently found him. They tried to kill him. Yeah…they do that. Why did you just leave the bodies there Vanessa? And why haven't they started to decay?

M: Vanessa is still not telling us shit. But Mike tells her that he said yes to giving Abby to them and she tells him they're gonna make her like him.

B: In the movie a lot of things aren't very clear. Vanessa tells us that the bodies of the dead kids are in the animatronics.

M: Like…how would people NOT NOTICE. But this is canon.

B: How does Vanessa know all this?

M: She tells us about AFTON.

B: The man behind the slaughter. The purple fellow. Okay, that's not canon that he's her father?

M: Hell if I know, I stopped following lore well before Vanessa showed up. Also somehow Afton killed Mike's brother.

B: Where did he put Garrett's body?? That's like SIX children now, are there six kids in each animatronic??

M: Vanessa's master plan is to taser the animtronics that are somehow being controlled by ghost children who are being controlled by William Afton. But she's not gonna go with Mike because Afton is her dad and stuff.

B: Let's fix that with a controlled shock. It's a good thing it's taking Abby a long time to get murdered.

M: Freddy considers murder and then reconsiders. Abby is being taken by Chica to the back room to be put into a device that looks suspiciously like the Baby animatronic. Meanwhile Mike is tasering Freddy and Bonnie.

B: I never understood what Chica did in the band anyway. Backup vocals? There's no way they could feasibly be playing this music with just one guitar. My suspension of disbelief is totally destroyed, Mister Fredbear. Don't you need to re-arm a taser?

M: Yep. But he gets Abby.

B: You've been an idiot about most things, Mike. To be fair. You should go.

M: The cupcake looks silly attacking but I do like it's design. I actually like the animatronics a lot and it would kick ass if they were like…

B: IN THE MOVIE!! For more than like 20 minutes of screen time in this two hour long movie.

M: See also, Matthew Lilliard. They squandered all the best parts of this movie. In favor of an hour of dream sequences. Abby and Mike again get separated but she hides in the ball pit and now….the best part of the movie. Golden Bonnie is here. Who is also Afton but no spoilers.

B: Me in the Dashcon ballpit.

M: Vanessa shows up 20 minutes late to the party with uh…nothing. I do love the way they did the whole golden bonnie thing. Though I'm really unsure about how he's controlling them? Vanessa apparently has a gun.

B: You're gonna shoot your undead father with a gun? Oh he's alive!

M: For now. He is also the job counselor. To absolutely nobody's suprise. (editor's note: biscuits did not at all realize this while watching the movie) She shoots daddy but somehow that isn't enough to activate the springlocks. Afton stabs his own daughter as Abby frantically draws pictures to show the other kids that he's really the bad guy. Afton gets all springlock failed and they drag him off into the back room.

B: Well canonically all this happened a really long time ago, but the movie doesn't care about the timeline. I always come back, yeah, way too many fucking times, bro.

M: And now everything is great and Abby is happy and Mike looks exactly the same.

B: The pacing is…so weird.

M: They stop by the hospital to see Vanessa and set up a sequel!

B: Well I mean if there's one thing FNAF really loves, it's sequels. This movie is so boring. Can we visit my dead friends some time? NO.

M: laughs Yeah, no.

B: Okay, movie SAVED by using the Living Tombstone. I'm amazed that they got the license for this.

M: I laughed out loud, I fucking loved it. It's the best thing. Oh Jim Henson's creature shop worked on the puppets, that explains why they looked so good. Final thoughts?

B: It's just…really lame. There's a couple cool scenes and some cool stuff at the end but the rest of the movie isn't worth it. There's so much rich lore, SO much lore, and a rich universe that they had an infinite well of stuff to draw on, but they made up this whole other plot about Josh Hutcherson's family problems and it's just…lame.

M: I just really feel like it's takes itself way too seriously.

B: Like terminally ill seriously.

M: And they squandered all the best parts of FNAF. The animatronics should have been the FOCUS. Not the dream sequences. Afton should have been a MUCH bigger part of this. There was so much cool stuff they could have done but it's not about that. All the little easter eggs for the fans are great but ultimately…pointless.

B: And again, isn't this supposed to be for the fans? For people who already love FNAF? But it's not really.

M: I grok that in order to reach a wider audience you gotta kinda do that but

B: The FNAF fandom is MASSIVE! The majority of it is just like…Trapped in Freddy Fazbears with Josh Hutcherson.

M: Fair.

B: And like…if you like the movie that's fine. For me it's just kinda meh. It's not something I would watch again on purpose. It just made me wanna watch Willy's Wonderland again. Not worth the 8 year wait time.

M: 8 years…and this is what you came up with?? 8 years and Doug was the best part of the movie? I don't hate it. I don't love it. I'm a fan of the FNAF games, I just feel like it's a massive missed opportunity and that people need to remember how to light a fucking film. I'm tired of Hollywood just giving us the most banal experience possible for whatever reason.

Munch and Biscuits out, yo.

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie review #munchflix #movie review #william afton #josh hutcherson #fnaf spoilers #steve raglan #matthew lillard

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14muffinz · 2 years

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12 & 18 TMNT Leonardo shower thought I had.

bolding the beginning of each paragraph so you know which leo i’m talking about

I hope I’m not getting something wrong i haven’t watched the later 2012 seasons

12!Leo has been the leader from the start. To him, it’s his duty. His role. This only becomes more relevant when his father dies and he is now the new leader of his entire clan. He sees himself as the only one fit for the role, and has a tendency to not listen to his brothers until the last second, just because he is the oldest and the leader, both of which are things that he was assigned by Splinter to be, and once they may not have felt like cold hard fact.

12!Leo is still just a happy kid at his core, but it’s become buried under his responsibility and trauma and the fact that his childish side sometimes can’t show itself due to the fact his voice doesn’t always work. He feels like there’s no point in asking his brothers to help carry the burden, in his eyes he’s the only one fit for it, anyways.

Then there’s 18!Leo. He’s the 3rd youngest (I hc Don as the older twin, fuck off) and was appointed leader after the need for one had seemingly dissapeared. He doesn’t want to be the team lead, doesn’t think he should be, either. That’s always been Raph’s job as big brother, in his eyes. Yeah, he can make good plans and can take a commanding tone when he needs to, and maybe he’s good at motivating his siblings, but those are all things that he could do as the face man, and there wasn’t any reason why he had to take that from Raph, because Raph couldn’t be the face man, now he was just another teammate, and Leo hated that he’d done that to his big brother, forced or not.

And then the movie happens, and 18!Leo realized that oh fuck, he hadn’t been made the leader. He’d been acting like it this whole time. His father had just removed the burden that came with the word leader, and gave it to someone who didn’t also carry the weight of being an older brother. The reason Leo was the leader was because Raph needed to not be the leader. Any of them could take on the leader role, and the only difference it would make is that someone else would have the worse mental health.

18!Leo knows that he can ask his siblings to take the burden, and he knows that they’d do it without a second thought, but he doesn’t want to. His big brother deserves a break, and Casey & Mikey sure as hell don’t want to lead the team. April doesn’t have time to be their leader, she’s in college now. Cassandra is too busy to be the leader, plus she’d probably say something about clan laws that means Splinter is technically the leader, even though he isn’t. And Donnie wouldn’t get anything done as leader because Raph and Leo would be constantly turning down his plans due to them being too violent. So, by Leo logic, this means that he deserves to carry the burden of being the leader, and hides the weight of it under well timed puns.

Now, put all of this into a crossover scenario.

12!Leo looks at his counterpart and he sees the kid that he never got to be. He thinks of a joke and then a few moments later, his alternate is saying it, and even if he had perfect vocal cords, Leo would have held it in. It’s... he’s not sure if he’s happy there’s a version of himself like this out there, or if he finds the kid annoying.

18!Leo sees what he wants to be, what he has to be, because he’s the leader now, and he hates that his ston-y alternate gets to slide into the role so easily.

So, the Leo’s hate eachother.

12 goes on a tangent in the dusty Rise dojo about how much he hates his alternate, most of the things being lies he’s telling himself.

And then 18 walks in, silent, maskless, and shaking. He goes over to a shrine, one with no photos, and the only thing that tells anything of who it’s for being the words Anata wa hitori ja nai. He kneels before it, the others lapsing into silence as they realise the kid had completely missed them, and watch as 18 begins to sob, begging for her to tell him what he did wrong.

And as his sobs die off, the kid clears his throat and says breathily “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you in time, Oroku Karai.”

And as 18 walks out of the room with a stone cold expression, they all realise at once that maybe, the Leo’s are more similar than they thought.

I couldn’t resist writing this out I’m sorry.

Check reblogs! There’s now a fluffy pt. 2

#tmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #hamato leonardo #leonardo tmnt #rise leo #tmnt 2012 #tmnt crossover #Z rambles #rottmnt #ninja turtles

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bluiex · 1 year

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Just so yall know- this all stemmed from me simping over Finnick again after binge watching all of the HG movies today

Scarian Hunger Games AU!

So! In how the books/movies go, Grian would be Katniss in this scenario, living in District 12. The Mockingjay, symbol of the rebellion against the capital in this Hunger Games universe.

He'd be the one to go instead of Pearl (his sister who was chosen but Grian volunteered in her steed), the other pick will be Big B. Going along with the first book/movie: they play up being "Star crossed lovers" like Peeta, Big B is actually in love with Grian.. by the end of it when they are the two alive they stage that suicide deal with the berries until the announcers like "Congratulations, our winners of the 74th Hunger games!" yada yada- causes the uprising

So moving onto the 2nd book/movie, 75th annual HGs- the president(who i think I might make Evil Xisuma) makes it so past winners are the ones who go into this one (cuz ykno gotta kill Grian, the person who made the districts rebel again) Grian and Big B would’ve been the 2nd and 3rd only winners of District 12 (idk who I wanna be the first winner) MEANING they're both going to be forced into the 75th HG (cuz big b would refuse to let the first winner go) now this is where it will get into my own little idea of how it'll go cuz this is where Scar comes into play! He's a past winner, from 10yrs ago! (What me making him to be like Finnick?? who would've thunk it!!)

Grian and Scar see each other for the first time in the starting ceremony thingy where each victor rides the chariots down the thingy for all of the ppl to see and the president welcoming them or w/e.. Scar would be wearing the same thing finnick was in the film (as seen here) So ykno, imagine that as Scar, scars and scitties galore, waltzing up to Grian. ofc Grian is like wow- this man is attractive.

Scar is apart of the rebellion, so is the new games master (who rigged this whole HG like in the book/movie)(who i have no idea who to make that as yet, could be Bdubs, i think thatd be funny) and it's Scar's job to keep Grian alive (BigB helps cuz he is in on it as well) and befriend him, become allies-- Mumbo is gonna be there too (he'd be like Beetee from the book/movies) and also befriend them inside the arena uwu ANYWAYS While getting to know one another the whole week before the games start, training and all that jazz.. Grian starts falling for Scar and same goes for Scar to Grian! So when they get into the games their love blossoms further but ofc they cant show it cuz the world thinks Big B and Grian are together!! DRAMA!! (ofc bigB doesnt care, he's over Grian) anyways yeah itd be tense and stuff until they escape the arena, Grian barely making it out alive

basically, they get to District 13, the rebellion is in full swing lol Grian the face of it as "the mockingjay"

i think i'll make Tango be like who Johanna is in HG.. I think he'd fit her fiery angry self lol

some Scar angst (like finnicks wowie so original) Victors, who are seen as desirable, are sold off to people after winning.. Those people can do whatever they please to that Victor they bought time with. So you can imagine what he has been through. He uses that after awhile though, to gain information about a lot of things. and is a big asset to the rebellion cuz of it.

also also Scar would be around 30ish in this and Grian 20 (this is my au the ages are different *rattles the bars of my cage*)

#scarian hunger games au #scarian #long post #bluie rambles #yes i copy pasted this from Space on discord who I word vomited all of this too LMAO

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plantwithoutplot · 8 months

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Hi you've mention before you had to study fanfiction in college and had to write two essays on Howl's Moving Castle, if it's not to personal, can you tell us what did you study in college?

Hey!! No problem at all, I loved my studies in university so it's always a pleasure to talk about it 👐

I have a Double Degree in French Modern Literature & English literature (+ culture/some history, but mostly focused on the UK and US), as well as a Master Degree in Fiction (studied most of its forms + how it is produced in an industrial world like ours, through creative and more theoretical classes, though my focus was more on literature/tv shows/movies/video games) (*´▽`*)❀

About the fan fiction thing, well, I've had three thesis to write during my last 3 years of college?

1) A 25 pages only thesis where I attempted to understand how Fan Fiction might be a renewal of the XIXth's Roman Feuilleton (serial literature that appeared thanks to the industrialization and that was published weekly/monthly in popular journals, think of Dickens, Victor Hugo, etc)

2) A 50 pages only thesis about Fan Fiction as an obscure genre in the literary world, where I question not why or who creates fan fictions (something that has already been studied for 30 years) but HOW. Whichs means questions how people write? How do they select what to write about? How do so many communities can identify a fic's content in one glance through its tags, even when they are quite obscure? What about the story structures of fan fictions? Why the repetitiveness? For what purpose? So... Yeah. 50 pages of picking literary analysis techniques we already have to study fan fiction as a genre, the same way we do we literally any other genre, with one less theorical part by analysis an actual fan fiction

3) A 50 pages only thesis about a creative project + 50 pages of presemtation of the project itself. I am... A huge horror fan, ok? SO as a creator who also loves fantastic and fantasy I wondered about something. Would it be possible to create AND make last a possible world based/centered around the horror genre? You know how in fantasy you explore a world where EVERYTHING is a consequence of the magic/fantasy elements? Ehat if we did that with horror? Where EVERYTHING, at its core, is a product of the horror genre? Where everything, everyone, every element of the universe is out to get you ― how do you survive? CAN you do more than just survive in such a world? Can it expand and keep growing through fan headcanons and ideas and grow more and more, like fantasy's possible worlds do??

Okay that was already a lot, congrats if you read so far 🫡🫡

About Howl's Moving Castle!

During my 3rd year in university, I had a class about Gender Studies and we had to pick a Ghibli movie to study and analyze. I picked Howl's Moving Castle, and tried to explain how the movie reverses gender expectations through the use of stereotypical fairy tales tropes.

Then during my 5th year in university, I had a class on Road Movies. Don't ask me why but my high-off-of-allergy-meds ass had a weird af epiphany and picked this movie.

The first essay is in french but i recently summed its main points for @newbieineverything so I can share it if you want! And the second essay was in english so I do have the whole thing, or just the bullet points if you'd rather have a summed up version 🤔🤔

If you want more info on those, don't hesitate to say it in comments/reblogs/dm and I will share it on the post! ٩(๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)و🪇

#Aslinn answers #aslinn rambles #howl's moving castle #Fan fiction #Lots of words i'm sorry 🤣🤣🤣#I loved research and honestly had i actually been good at it i'd have loved to go for a PhD

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nekoma-not-lee · 2 years

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Day 21 - Haunted House

CC!Tubbo & CC!Ranboo/CC!Tommy PLATONIC

Triggers - Swearing, mentions of scary stuff

Note - I went to a haunted house a year or two back, and there were like 3 of them at the place, I got inspiration from that experience for the scary bits, now on to the fic <3

“AAAAAHHHH SHIT!” Tommy screamed as hands were grabbing at him on both sides of the small tunnel. Tubbo and Ranboo were right behind him, though appearing not as openly scared as Tommy was. Of course they knew that the actors were allowed to touch you like that, but of course they had regulations for that. That was the first time Tommy’s soul left his body, in the first haunted house of the night.

“AAAAHHHH FUCK!” Tommy jumped back as a zombie in a lab coat jumped out at them, not actually touching them. Tubbo and Ranboo jumped and yelled a little bit in surprise, but not as loud as Tommy. Of course they knew Tommy wasn’t the best with scary things, especially if it’s in real life. But when they got home, they would figure out a way to make sure Tommy can still sleep at night. That was the second time Tommy’s soul left his body, as they exited the second haunted house.

“AAAAAAHHHHH NONONONONONONO!” Tommy screamed as the 3 of them ran out of the final haunted house. Two creepy clowns chased after them and then stopped as they made it out. That was by far the scariest part of the whole trip, as Tommy’s soul left his body for the 3rd and final time that night. “Tommy, are you alright?” Ranboo questioned, gently, afraid if he asked even a little bit too harsh, he might scare him away. Tommy shakily nodded, “Y-yeah, you know me, I’m fine.” Tubbo tilted his head, “Tommy…you know if you didn’t want to, we didn’t have to go through all of them…and if you didn’t wanna go into any of them, that would’ve been okay too! You know we would rather do something all 3 of us together, and it matters to us that you’re okay,” he said, sincerely, meaning every word of it.

If Tommy wasn’t comfortable doing a haunted house, they’d find something else to do that they’d all enjoy. “Tommy nodded again, “I know, but I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t want to, you know I’m not the best with scary stuff, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want anything to do with scary stuff.” Tubbo and Ranboo nodded, and then Ranboo spoke first, “Are you sure you’re okay though?” Tommy nodded, “Yeah, let’s just go home and watch a movie or something.” And so the trio went home and put on Nightmare Before Christmas, as Ranboo and Tubbo didn’t want Tommy to get scared anymore by a spooky movie. Besides, they all liked this movie anyways. Tommy was currently sandwiched in the middle of Ranboo and Tubbo. He was leaning on Ranboo while Tubbo was leaning on Tommy.

Tubbo was mindlessly playing with Tommy’s hands, tracing at his palms. Tubbo then noticed Tommy’s fingers twitching every so often, and looked up at Tommy to see a repressed smile on his face. Tubbo realized that he was unintentionally tickling him, and smiled, moving one of his hands to poke Ranboo’s arm. The man in question looked over to see Tubbo giving him a look he knew all to well. Ranboo smiled and tightened his hold on Tommy, while slowly starting to trace up and down his sides. Tommy stiffened and shook with repressed giggles, “T-Tubbo, Rahanboo, that tihickles…” Ranboo and Tubbo smiled, and Tubbo spoke, “Thanks for letting us know, bossman!”

Tubbo’s fingers found his hips and started pinching lightly at them, while Ranboo pinched at Tommy’s ribs. Tommy squealed, bursting into happy giggles, “Wahahahait! Nohohoho thahahat’s wohohohorse!” Ranboo mentally awed at the giggles he produced, “Really? Does this make it better?” Ranboo’s fingers moved to spider around Tommy’s stomach while Tubbo reached back to pinch at his knees, causing a shriek to erupt from Tommy’s throat, and for him to burst into loud, squeaky laughter, “NONONOHOHOHO THAHAHAT’S WOHOHOHORSE! NOHOHOT THEHEHERE- TUHUHUHUBBOHOHOHO!”

Tommy shrieked as Tubbo’s fingers started scratching at the backs of Tommy’s knees. Tubbo grinned, “Yes, bossman? What’s up?” Tubbo acted oblivious to the situation, yet continued to swirl his fingers at the backs of Tommy’s knees. Ranboo chuckled, blowing a short raspberry on the back of Tommy’s neck, causing a squeal to emerge from Tommy, “RAHAHAHAN! NOHOHOHO RAHAHASPBEHEHERRIHIHIES!” “No raspberries? But you love raspberries,” Ranboo teased, while Tubbo blew a short raspberry on Tommy’s tummy. “TUHUHUHUBS?! NOHOHOT YOHOHOU TOHOHOO!”

They realized that Tommy was quickly reaching his limit, and decided to do one big finale. Tubbo blew a long raspberry on Tommy’s stomach, shaking his head to spread the vibrations, while Ranboo blew many tiny raspberries on Tommy’s neck. Tommy’s laughter went silent for a few seconds, and then came back in full force, “OHOHOKAHAHAY EHEHENOHOHOHOUGH! PLEHEHESE IHIHIT’S SOHOHO BAHAHAD!” Tubbo and Ranboo instantly stopped as soon as they heard ‘enough’ leave Tommy’s mouth. They quickly rubbed the ghost tickles away, pulling Tommy into a big cuddle pile. Tommy yawned and closed his eyes, letting out a quiet, “Thanks…” and then falling asleep. The beeduo smiled, “Anytime, Tommy.”

#tickletober 2022 #day 21 haunted house #neko’s fics #dsmp tickle #dsmp #dream smp tickle #dream smp #lee!tommy #lee!tommyinnit #cc!tommy #cc!tommyinnit #ler!tubbo #cc!tubbo #ler!ranboo #cc!ranboo

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switchyfox · 2 years

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in case you're open to Eddie Munsons requests 👉👈 maybe Reader and Eddie are drinking/smoking together and Eddie finds out that R becomes super affectionate when high/drunk? and Eddie just being super amused by it. no pressure tho :3

Thank you for the request, I loved it!! This is the first I decided to fill in, so it's my first time writing for Eddie. I hope you'll like it anon!

Eddie Munson x male!reader (drinking/smoking together - fluff)

You can read it on Ao3 here.

1.7k words - 3rd person - reader uses he/him pronouns - set before the events of season 4

“Hey, you’re still coming tonight, right?”

Y/n never promised that he would be there, but with Eddie looking expectantly at him like this... there was no way he could say no to these pleading, soft brown eyes. Besides, he was a little excited to enjoy an evening with Eddie and his friends. They had only started to hang around together a few weeks ago; Eddie had approached him during lunch break and asked if he wanted to help him set up a DnD campaign. Y/n had been a little reluctant, but he soon found out that Eddie could be very persuasive. That, and the guy just kept rubbing him the right way, shooting compliments about his art and writing (that he had noticed during their classes together and extra scholar projects displayed around school through the years). Eddie sounded so excited at the idea of sharing a hobby, and y/n desperately needed this kind of friend, so he accepted. They had been spending time together developing ideas for the campaign ever since then, but they hadn’t had any occasion to just chill together outside school yet.

“Yeah, count me in. I'll bring a six-pack.”

Eddie pumped his fists in victory, a broad smile plastered on his face.

“Awesome! Jeff and Gareth can’t wait to meet you.” His attitude changed to serious in a matter of seconds. “Just remember, no matter how hard they push, don’t drop any info on the campaign. It is crucial.”

His interlocutor nodded.

“Roger that. My lips are sealed.”

This earned him another smile from Eddie, along with a pat on the shoulder.

“Great. See you tonight then.” With that, he bowed before leaving towards his car, a grin on his face.

***

The night was going well. Just as Eddie expected, his playmates had jumped on the occasion to try and get information from y/n as soon as he had arrived. The latter had held his ground through the evening better than expected, and the two nerds had stopped trying to get him to spill the beans hours ago now.

Gareth had claimed the armchair to the left as soon as he had entered the trailer in the early evening, Y/n was currently sitting on the floor with his back resting against the empty side of the couch and Jeff was comfortably seated on the far-right end of it. They were discussing the upcoming Aliens movie; all were hoping to be able to watch it in the theatre. Maybe they would go together. Eddie had just left his spot on the sofa to fetch them another tape to play, they had all agreed to change to something calm after they finished the last Black Sabbath album. They had already drunk their way through two six-packs, shared a couple of joints, and they were all getting a little drowsy.

Some chill classic rock tunes started playing from Eddie’s room, and when he came back to the living room, the conversation between his friends was still ongoing.

“Actually, I think the Xenomorph is even more fuckable than Ripley. She’s hot and badass, don’t get me wrong, but have you seen this thing? Made me all flustered every time it came on screen in the first movie.” Y/n slurred, doing his best not to laugh at his own thoughts.

“Wow dude, that’s gross.” replied Jeff.

Gareth tried to think of it for a second and his face contorted in disgust.

“I don’t even want to imagine how the whole sex thing would work.”

That’s when y/n burst into laughter.

“I’m only kidding guys, it is kinda gross. I mean, imagine if... ok ok, I’ll stop here.” He shut himself up by taking a long sip of his beer, amused.

Eddie couldn’t take his eyes away from y/n. He knew he had been developing a bit of a crush on the boy, but to see him so relaxed, buzzed from the alcohol, the music and the weed... He couldn’t help but think he was the most handsome guy he had ever laid his eyes upon. No matter how unappealing whatever y/d just said might have been for anyone else, Eddie was not bothered in the slightest. He was glad that his friend was enjoying himself without the usual anxiety weighing on him, enough to share whatever silly thought was coming to his mind.

As the conversation died down, Jeff got up and announced he needed to take a trip to the toilets. The three other nerds nodded lazily in acknowledgment. Eddie walked around the table in the middle of the room, picked up a joint that had been left there for later, and took over Jeff’s spot on the sofa. He lit up the cigarette, staring at y/n from where he was, and he put a hand on his shoulder as he took a puff. The boy turned to face him, and he exhaled the smoke.

“It’s your chance to get a much more comfortable place to sit down for the rest of the night. C’mon.”

He noticed the faintest sign of embarrassment on his friend’s face when he stood up, not so steadily. Eddie patted the spot to his left and y/n pushed the hesitation aside, plopping down next to him. Eddie smiled and threw his left arm on the back of the couch, handing the cigarette to his friend with his other hand. Y/n borrowed the cigarette from him and took a puff of his own, eyes closing for a few seconds as he held his breath in. When he exhaled, he handed the weed back to Eddie. He didn’t bother asking Gareth, as he had already stated that he wouldn’t smoke anything tonight.

All three of them were now sitting in pleasant silence, if only for the soft music coming from the distant bedroom. They were all getting dozy, and y/n wriggled into a comfier position, snuggling a little closer into Eddie’s side, and he found himself drawing patterns with his fingertip on the leg of the metalhead.

“You feeling good, y/n?” he asked, a little surprised. He had never seen him show signs of enjoying this kind of intimacy, not with him, not with anyone else back at school.

“Mmh-mh, very good. You’re so... warm and comfy...” he mumbled.

Eddie was a little taken aback but amused. He enjoyed this version of y/n. Actually, he was enjoying being snuggled next to him nearly as much. Taking another puff, he moved the hand that was resting on the couch to y/n’s back, rubbing it softly. The boy nearly purred at that. Eddie chuckled.

“Someone’s in a mood, mh?” he asked teasingly.

“Sorry, I’m just... it feels so good, I don’t think you’ll ever get me to move away from here.”

Y/n reached out for the joint, softly grasping Eddie’s wrist. But instead of simply taking the cigarette from his grasp, he covered Eddie’s hand with his own and brought them to his face to take a hit.

Eddie’s breath caught up in his throat when he could feel his friend’s lips brushing against his fingers.

Y/n exhaled and he realized Eddie had stopped petting his back. His other hand was still hanging in the air where y/n had been holding it. A little concerned, he angled his head to stare back at him.

His face looked a little flushed. He looked cute, y/n thought. And with his plush lips slightly parted, he looked so… kissable. Without even realizing it, y/n's tongue peeked out to wet his lips.

This seemed to break the spell, as Eddie broke out of his stupor and averted his gaze, taking one last hit of the joint before crushing the nub in the ashtray. He had to bend over to reach it on the low table, and y/n took advantage of the movement to sit up a little more properly, still very close to his friend. As Eddie straightened his back, y/n ran his fingers along the spine. He could feel his muscles tense slightly at the touch, but all the tension seemed to release off his body when he reached his nape.

“Can I touch your hair dude? It looks so soft…”

Eddie chuckled. Y/n was really full of surprises tonight. He turned his head to face him.

“Only if you let me mess up yours later.”

Y/n pretended to think it over, humming lowly. He didn’t give a clear answer before his fingers skimmed through the thick, dark locks and started to massage the crown of Eddie’s head. Eddie’s eyelids fluttered. The presence of y/n by his side was comforting, and the gentle movement of his fingers was making his head tingle in the best way.

“Feels good?” y/n finally asked.

“Never better. I think I won’t let you move away from here even if you try.”

At this moment, Jeff walked back into the room, yawning.

“It was a really great evening guys but I’m gonna head back now. Anyone needs a ride?”

Gareth perked up at the offer, he was nearly falling asleep.

“Uh yeah, I think I’m too tired to walk back all the way home.”

Jeff turned his attention to y/n while Gareth mustered the motivation to leave the surprisingly comfortable armchair and gather his belongings.

“What about you? Want me to drop you off?”

Y/n didn’t answer the question, instead he turned to look quizzically at Eddie. He wanted to know if he was welcome to stay the night, he didn’t exactly feel like leaving now. Eddie picked up on that.

“I think I’ll keep him here a little longer. Want to talk through a few ideas for the campaign before I forget them.”

“Well then, it was really great to finally spend some time with you dude, you should hang around with us more often! I can’t wait to see what you both come up with for our party.”

“I’ll definitely do, it was a lot of fun. Thanks for inviting me in the first place guys.”

“Don’t mention it, you’re welcome to hang out with us anytime. You’re part of the group now.”

Eddie was glad that they all got along so well so fast.

***

A few minutes later, after everyone had bid their goodbye, the two friends were gone. Y/n was still snuggled up against Eddie, playing with his hair while the guitarist traced lines on his back.

“You’re really not gonna move, mh?”

Y/n shook his head, yawning.

“No way. I guess I’m just gonna pass out on top of you and you’ll have to deal with it.”

“I guess I could handle that.”

#x male reader #male reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x reader #my text

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