#yellow for my leo bc the first thing that stands out to me from the design are the golden marks of his mask and those are his conection to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

windsweptlassie · 3 years

Text

On Love

So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners:

Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible

Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything

Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.

El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh

Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college

A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited

Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me

Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love

to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:

Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.

H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour

Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart

Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet

O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D

to beautiful quotes:

Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN

Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)

Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things

Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mary: "Love is watching someone die."

Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"

Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"

V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?

Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!

Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka

Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention

to practices of love:

Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro

A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.

L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.

Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)

Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift

Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.

Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random

Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror

to crushes and potential loves:

Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.

Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine

Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants

Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else

Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes

Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still

Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me

to the trials of love:

Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk

Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it

Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.

Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love

L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start

Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him

Sean: Good luck it dont exist

Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3

13: I don’t know anymore

M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol

to beloved characters:

Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension

Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love

to advice and prose:

Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...

Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.

Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love

H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love

Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures

Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others

to the small, the simple, and the sweet:

Ireal: Poems

O: Flowers

Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.

Ad: we love LOVE

A: <3

Isak: small things

H: intense

Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away

S: her

E: <3

Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^

Catboy: wholesome

J: i love love so much it hurts

Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3

Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great

Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring

M: i love love

to food!

Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!

Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?

and animals too <3

Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!

96: raccoons ????

DJ Big Penis: cats

:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,

I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.

#on love #love files #uquiz #mine #shut up queenie #long post

74 notes · View notes

astro-break · 3 years

Text

Did I spend 3 hours cataloging the new MV outfits instead of studying? Yes. Please don’t question it. Everything is under the cut because its long, there’s really bad quality screenshots, and i went ham on the data analysis :)

General points: - There are three types of outfits in the set. Tucked, Untucked, and Half tucked shirts. Pants are the same as far as I can tell

- All of this is speculative and is in no way fact. Please take the data with a grain of salt, I am horrendous at math and can’t count for shit

- Belts and shoes are reflective and go Kira Kira during lives. Subaru goes crazy over them and has probably already stolen them all

Units

Trickstar - Orange Shoes

Hokuto - Tucked Shirt | Subaru - Untucked Shirt | Mao - Half Tucked Shirt | Makoto - Untucked Shirt

Fine - Peach Shoes

Eichi - Tucked Shirt | Wataru - Untucked Shirt | Yuzuru - Tucked Shirt | Tori - Half Tucked Shirt

Ryuseitai - Red Shoes

Chiaki - Untucked Shirt | Kanata - Tucked Shirt | Tetora - Half Tucked Shirt | Shinobu - Untucked Shirt | Midori - Tucked Shirt

Alkaloid - Teal Shoes

Hiiro - Untucked Shirt | Aira - Untucked Shirt | Tatsumi - Tucked Shirt | Mayoi - Tucked Shirt

Eden - Grey Shoes

Nagisa - Untucked Shirt | Hiyori - Untucked Shirt | Ibara - Untucked Shirt | Jun - Untucked Shirt

2wink - Pink Shoes

Hinata - Half Tucked Shirt | Yuuta - Half Tucked Shirt

Valkyrie - Burgundy Shoes

Shu - Tucked Shirt | Mika - Half Tucked Shirt

Crazy:B - Yellow Shoes

Rinne - Half Tucked Shirt | HiMERU - Tucked Shirt | Kohaku - Tucked Shirt | Niki - Half Tucked Shirt

Undead - Purple Shoes

Rei - Tucked Shirt | Kaoru - Tucked Shirt | Koga - Half Tucked Shirt | Adonis - Half Tucked Shirt

Akatsuki - Burgundy Shoes

Keito - Tucked Shirt | Kuro - Untucked Shirt | Souma - Untucked Shirt

Ra*bits - Teal Shoes

Nazuna - Untucked Shirt | Tomoya - Untucked Shirt | Hajime - Untucked Shirt | Tenma - Untucked Shirt

Knights - Dark Blue Shoes

Leo - Tucked Shirt | Sena - Tucked Shirt | Ritsu - Tucked Shirt | Arashi - Tucked Shirt | Tsukasa - Tucked Shirt

Switch - Green Shoes

Natsume - Tucked Shirt | Tsumugi - Tucked Shirt | Sora - Half Tucked Shirt

MaM - Grey Shoes

Madara - Untucked Shirt

(Do you really need a screenshot? Hes been in like. 90% of the other ones :p)

Jin & Akiomi

Jin - Burgundy Shoes, Untucked Shirt | Akiomi - Dark Blue Shoes, Tucked Shirt

Data:

In General - 51 Idols

Tucked Shirts (41%) - 21 Idols | Untucked Shirts (37%) - 19 Idols | Half Tucked Shirts (22%) - 11 Idols

StarPro - 17 Idols

Tucked Shirts (41%) - 7 Idols | Untucked Shirts (41%) - 7 Idols | Half Tucked Shirts (18%) - 3 Idols

CosPro - 12 Idols

Tucked Shirts (25%) - 3 Idols | Untucked Shirts (33%) - 4 Idols | Half Tucked Shirts (42%) - 5 Idols

RyLin - 11 Idols

Tucked Shirts (27%) - 3 Idols | Untucked Shirts (54%) - 6 Idols | Half Tucked Shirts (19%) - 2 Idols

NewDi - 9 Idols

Tucked Shirts (77%) - 7 Idols | Untucked Shirts (11%) - 1 Idol | Half Tucked Shirts (12%) - 1 Idol

(26%) 4/15 Units ([25%] 4/16 if you count Double Face) have members wearing the same shirt. These units are:

Eden (Untucked), 2wink (Half Tucked), Ra*bits (Untucked), and Knights (Tucked)

(53%) 8/15 Units had the same colored shoes. These units are:

Alkaloid & Ra*bits: Teal Shoes

Valkyrie & Akatsuki & Jin: Burgundy Shoes

Eden & MaM: Grey Shoes

Knights & Akiomi: Dark Blue Shoes

Mini Analysis (that eventually turned into a not so mini analysis)

I think that each character wearing their shirts slightly differently is actually super interesting and shows a little bit of personality for them. Loose shirts are more boyish and athletic, youthful and fun while tucked in shirts give off a more refined and put together appearance. Half tucked just looks lazy in my opinion but also has the best of both worlds, a casual kind of formality.

StarPro having a more or less equal amount of Idols wearing their shirts in all three ways is pretty interesting and really emphasizes the amount of freedom these idols are given based on their agency. It also speaks to how free StarPro units are in relation to other agencies since they are the sole agency without any units who match each other’s shirt wearing tendencies. Everyone’s just kind of everywhere with each unit doing their own thing. Its interesting to note that the only unit in StarPro that doesn’t have all three styles of shirt wearing is Alkaloid. In Mayoi’s own words, Alkaloid is “a newbie who has just made his debut”. Because of they’re new I suspect that they haven’t branched out very much, sticking to the tried and true traditions of idol work that dictates that uniformity with minor deviations is the best for unit outfits. You can totally see it in how they’ve separated themselves into two neat groups: Hiiro with Aira and Tatsumi with Mayoi (yes shippers you can go feral over this fact).

Contrasting StarPro, CosPro has the highest amount of units with matching shirt styles. Eden makes sense since Ibara probably wants the face of the company to look uniform so he made them all wear their shirts the same. Though the decision to leave them untucked leaves me questioning a few things. Do they want to seem more approachable? I guessed before actually seeing the outfits that Eden would either have half tucked or fully tucked shirts mostly because they’re a unit who prioritizes appearances. Having that put together air definitely fits Eden (or at least Adam). 2wink wasn’t a surprise tho. They’re generally a more uniform unit being twins and all. Though again, a bit miffed about the choice for half tucked shirts. While I will freely admit that I don’t read very many Eden or 2wink stories nor have I interacted with them very much, I do think there is merit in being able to understand design choices at a glance. If a 2winkP or an EdenP would like to hazard a guess as to why these two units have shirt wearing styles that doesn’t really fit with my preconceived notions of them please do tell me. But other than that, CosPro is generally really uniform with each unit being more or less balanced. Valkyrie as always has a really strong sense of aesthetics and pairing the half tucked shirt with the tucked shirt was a very good call. Crazy:B, like Alkaloid, is neatly separated into two groups: Rinne with Niki and Kohaku with HiMERU (more shipping fodder for you shippers :p). But contrary to Alkaloid who’s following more conventional idol ideas, i feel like Crazy:B was instructed by Ibara to dress like that. Both to promote the image of unity within CosPro but also to piss Rinne off ww.

I really don’t have much to say on RyLin since I generally don’t like any of the units affiliated with it. I really sorry but I’m pretty indifferent about Ra*bits and Akatsuki. I do have Opinions TM about Undead but that’s for another day. But for now, I will say that Ra*bits all having untucked shirts is very cute and very Ra*bits. The picture perfect image of youth and energy!

Thanks to Knights basically dominating the board with their five person unit all with tucked in pants, the data was skewed way to much into the tucked shirts area wwww. Even if Natsume and Tsumugi didn’t have tucked shirts it would still be the majority wwwww. In all seriousness, tucked in pants is 100% a Knights look and i am living for it. They look so noble even in converse and casual wear. I think Mama having an untucked shirt is also super cute and makes him a lot more huggable. (please refer to the Ra*bits screenshot, its very cute the height difference) Even Sora’s half tucked look is very boyish a cute, very Sora. Honestly each of the agencies’ personalities shone through even through these simple clothes and honestly did a better job of giving me each unit’s personalities at a glance than those 5th Ani outfits did.

Also I have no idea why some units share shoe colors its just a fun thing to point out. Yes I’m pretentious and say burgundy instead of dark red. Shut up. I like burgundy :p

Extra Notes

- None of these bitches are straight, they’re wearing Converse with cuffed pants! Look me in the face and tell me that wearing converse with cuffed pants is a straight thing. Thats right, you can’t.

- The stage was Knights’ Silent Oath bc it’s a stage with 5 people, has nice lighting, and has multiple parts where I can get all 5 people with a large window of time. Also I can stand listening to Silent Oath 12 times while taking screenshots. The other option was Suisei Halation but I found Silent Oath first :p

- This came from me noticing that Rei had purple converse shoes and laughing my ass off about it before going to check out the other units and spiraling from there

- As I was cataloguing this, I made a mental list of who in Enstars deserves to have fangs on their model and who actually does. I’m not posting that today but if you’re interested....

- None of this was edited. None of it.

- I really should have been studying ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ time well wasted

#ensemble stars #enstars #outfit analysis #my post #long post #analysis

13 notes · View notes

monbeauloup · 3 years

Note

my love language is quality time, words of reassurance. i'm enfp-t, scorpio, hufflepuff, i'm french muslim pansexual nonbinary they/he/she, i use any pronouns but this is the order i prefer. i have long curly light brown hair, almond shaped hazel eyes and a few beauty marks on my face. i'm 163cm/5'4ft. i have a wide smile with dimples. i'm chubby and will start a diet for myself and only myself. my favourite colours are lavender (or most shades of purple like russian violet and midnight purple), green sage, canary yellow, light grey blue and brick red. i'm open minded, would defend anyone i think is being right but judged. i really hate unfairness even in the littlest things, as well as toxicity in any form, it triggers me. i'm a people pleaser. i'm an affectionate person. i show my love to my friends by making fun of them (i never cross the line though) or of myself. i am funny and creative. if I can make someone laugh even if i have to embarrass myself in the process i get really happy. i am clumsy (trip on air and hit myself against furniture constantly also almost drop anything i hold). i'm sarcastic and humorous. i often quote vine or audios on tiktok i find funny. i am basically a walking meme i guess. i have a funny laugh and laugh a lot. i am a happy person. i can be loud one moment and suddenly really calm. i am an ambivert. i'm stubborn but patient. i'm sensitive and prefer to talk things out, i'm pretty calm but can get scary when annoyed or really angry. my biggest pet peeve is when people talk to me but when someone will try to get their attention they will right away go to talk to them as if i wasn’t talking in the first place and what i was saying is meaningless, so when people interrupt me and don’t listen to me. i have this habit of cracking my bones constantly, it relaxes me.

i am always listening to music with earphones, dancing and making choreographies. i enjoy listening to kpop. i like to write and when i do i like to put in as many details as possible. i have two cats. i like learning languages, i can speak french, english fluently, italian and spanish moderately and i'm starting to learn korean seriously. i dress in multiple aesthetics. i own 'quirky' earrings. i like makeup. i want to experience a lot with my hair, i would love to bleach and dye it in multiple colours. i believe that family doesn't necessarily mean blood for personal reasons and from experience. i am the kind of person who likes to do multiple things though i often stop something and never or later finish it. i'm overly confident yet extremely self-conscious. i often need reassurance because of trauma i have and trust issues with my family with transphobia and homophobia. my favourite series are alice in borderland and the umbrella academy. i like animes. i get scared easily but laugh and scream when i get scared. i speak with my hands a lot and i am really expressive. i use the finger guns too much and the word period too haha. i zone out a lot and talk to myself constantly. i would like to become an english teacher and still dance in the future. the perfect date would be either chilling in my apartment, going out to the amusement park or a picnic. i get slightly shy when i first meet someone but warm up to them fast. i get shy with people who are interested in me romantically even if i knew them for a while.

~*~

i ship you with dorcas meadowes! ♡

power couple.

leo and scorpio. when you put these two together sparks will inevitably fly.

you met for the first time, while she was on her way to the great hall and you bumped straight into her.

having been writing, you weren’t watching where you were going and bumped into her on complete accident.

she sweetly assures you, that everything’s fine and that she’s glad, you didn’t hurt yourself.

you meet again through a mutual friend and she asks you out.

having a lovely picnic at the black lake, while the sun is beaming down.

you’re both the happiest when you’re together. never ending laughs, glistening eyes and smiles.

same sense of humor and sarcasm.

when she asked you to be her partner, she follows it up with “should i call you my partner? significant other? do you have a personal preference?”

the black lake is your favorite place. just you and her slowly stepping down to the soft murmur of the water, the smell of flowers, picnics, braiding each other's hair and just spending some quality time together.

“i have something for you,” she says and holds out her hand, revealing a large shell. the spirals are perfectly formed and colored in lavender and all possible shades of purple. “a gift,” she continues.

you take the shell, fingertips brushing against dorcas' palm as you do. “thank you” you say. “it's beautiful.”

gestures like that to show you how much she cares.

deep talks about everything there is in life. she’s the one who understands, listens and gives you lot of reassurance.

feels like she needs to protect you and be with you always.

you dye each other’s hair with spells you found in a book from the library.

the magic seemed to flow fairly naturally, quite instantly beginning to yank at your hair, slowly recoloring it.

being bilingual and interested in languages, she loves that you’re french.

“what means doe (her nickname) in french, love?”

from that moment on, you're calling her "ma biche" and she gets all teary eyed.

the ESFJ / ENFP-T match is an interesting one.

attracted to each other's warmth, sensitivity and kindness to each other’s needs.

many subjects to discuss, a common sensibility, humanity and a very big envy to share and talk.

invites you to dance parties in the gryffindor common room and she regularly comes over for the monthly hufflepuff sleepover and helps you loot the kitchen for midnight snacks.

when she looks at you, she really looks at you.

always makes sure to make you feel you have her full attention.

loyal to a fault. she will stand by you until the very end and she'll do the same with what she believes in.

you both have a soft spot for the younger black brother regulus and make it your personal mission to befriend him.

“he always looks so sad y/n, his eyes hold so much pain.. is he okay? i mean obviously not, but is he good?”

like the gryffindor she is, she finally takes up the courage and approaches him, with you at her side.

taking the right approach being slow and letting him set the pace.

you three slowly become friends, even though you have a closer connection to him than dorcas.

his smile was something remarkably extraordinary to you bc you had not seen him reveal much emotion since the very beginning.

it feels as if some deeper connection has been established now - a closer one and it made you return his smile.

right now, the world seems okay. every moment, you love and support the people close to you.

⊱ ──── ˗ˏˋ✧*♡*✧´ˎ˗ ────⊰

for the lovely @chishiyas-backstory ! 💫✨

thank you for your request. it was a genuine pleasure to write this for you!!

#dorcas meadowes #marauders era #shipping request #harry potter

1 note · View note

sistersofthemoonn · 5 years

Text

howdy, y’all!! @sourcherryscones tagged me to do this fun thing woohoo thx

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people

nicknames: feel like i’ve answered this a lot of times lmao. wil, willie, mijntje, willa, mina, plus more

zodiac: leo sun, pisces moon and idk what my rising is?? gemini or smthn?

height: 6’/182cm

last movie i saw: the highwaymen on netflix!!

last thing i googled: the definition of something for my econ exam today

favorite musician: rn im in luv w lucy dacus, but my all time favs are the districts and hippo campus

song stuck in my head: juniper by katy kirby and don’t swerve by annie dirusso

other blogs: @morningsoaked, @fuckingpapercut, and @renownedorders are the ones im using most atm

following: 662 which is surprisingly lower than i thought but i’ve unfollowed so many blogs oops

followers: 415

do i get asks: sometimes!! send more yall it’s FUN

amount of sleep: usually 8 hours

lucky number: 8

what am i wearing: black mom jeans, orange old skool vans, this shirt i embroidered, a huge beige cardigan, and my usual necklaces, rings, and earrings

dream job: ever since i was little i’ve wanted to be a fashion designer and i still would love to be one lmao

dream trip: i want to go to bilbao again so fucking bad. im hopefully going with my mom after finals!!

favorite food: my sister’s spinach risotto <3 she’s a great cook!!

instruments: guitar and uke! i have a soprano uke and a baritone (baritone is my fav)

languages: my first language is english and i speak fluent dutch and (almost) fluent spanish

favorite songs: get ready for a long list!! defeated by bad suns, love in the 4th dimension by the big moon, silver streets by BOY, cold cold cold by cage the elephant, wrung out and hanging (on west coast time) by the districts, airplane by the districts, 4th and roebling by the districts, boyish by hippo campus, traveler by hippo campus, why even try by hippo campus, on call by kings of leon, sister by the japanese house, like a child hiding behind your tombstone by slothrust, the couch incident by slothrust, you by the 1976, and i think this list is getting too long but i could go on and on and on....

random fact: i love birds so much. somehow everyone knows this about me and it’s GREAT bc my friends took me to a bird zoo and another friend gave me a bird vase... amazing i love my friends

aesthetic: if u wanna know my aesthetic then just look at my room. old furniture that’s been painted pink or yellow. dried flowers in empty wine or gin bottles. walls covered in post cards, pictures, posters, and lil memories like gum packaging from 5 years ago and a wrist band from a festival i went to with my sister. an ‘I ❤️ GIRLS’ mug my brother gave me. empty perfume bottles. gold jewelry hanging from a jewelry stand i stole from my mom. a dish on my side table with all my rings and earrings.

im supposed to tage 21 ppl but. im lazy. sooo :) im tagging @starsham @iamacleanfrog @oldrecordplayer @warmglowed @kissontheeyelid have fun !!

#about me #i love getting tagged in these!!#tag game

4 notes · View notes

coolandspicy · 6 years

Text

Lost Fantasia recap

This is crazy long so i’ll put it under the cut!

Pre concert they play most of VIXX’s mvs on the big screens which is fun. (Super Hero and Rock Ur Body are suspiciously absent lol)

About 5 minutes before concert start time there’s this super loud count down...but after a few seconds it fades into a song? It scared me both nights tho lol!

1st Vcr - its all in black and white, people walking around in animal masks, and we see the members one by one, frozen in place seemingly?

The big curtain falls and the members are lowered from the raised platform while intense music plays

They’re wearing these sparkly Silver zigzag jackets and matching pants, they get into formation to perform and the first song is Odd Sense! It starts awesome with really cool lighting (all the lightsticks turn red) but a few seconds in the backing vocals totally cut so its just vixx singing live and the music is a bit quieter, they keep going a little longer but then suddenly the whole song cuts and Hakyeon apologizes and asks if they can start again. The lights go off and the members exit the stage.

We ended up waiting about a full hour for the technical issues to be resolved and the atmosphere was super tense; starlights were so upset and they were kind of cursing at jellyfish? At one point they chanted for an apology 😅I was seriously worried that if the problem wasn’t resolved something terrible would happen...

But the concert finally resumed and the members appeared exactly were they had been when the music cut; they performed Odd Sense, followed by Escape (during the the “run away” part starlights were even louder than ravi) and then Silence!

1st Talk session: first the members apologized again for the issues and Hakyeon asks for starlights to give them strength/energy by still cheering loudly. They go on to talk about hair colors; Hongbin has purple hair (at fans request!) Leo has blond instead of silver bc he couldn’t take any more bleach, Ravi dyed his hair to be the same color as Hyuk? Hakyeon pokes Ravi insistently waiting for Ravi to talk about his gray highlights (Ravi ignores him for a while but then finally they acknowledge Hakyeon^^)

The next song is Fantasy, after which the members disappear but Ravi stays (he took his jacket off and has the white shirt and black harness on) and does a mini solo performance (I’m calling these solos ‘mini’ bc they’re really not quite as long as the usual solo performances we see?) Ravi performs with female back up dancers and then at the end walks back upstage where the other members are waiting ( and also wearing the White shirts, black pants + harnesses)

They perform Into the void, while seated/standing with these two props shaped like some kind of rocks. After the song the members walk down stage (Leo, Ravi and Hakyeon go to the middle; Hyuk and Hongbin go all the way to the left side of the stage; and Ken goes all the way to the right) they perform Six feet under — its so hype live, I really loved it!!

2nd talk: Hakyeon complements Ravi’s performance, and asks Ravi shoot hearts to each floor/section of the audience. Then they ask what song starlights would like to see next, because the audience is not really in sync (some people are asking Leo to shoot hearts also) Leo shoots a powerful heart before they start Trigger. This choreo oh my god!! Everything from running gun hands down their long legs, the members circling round Hakyeon poised to shoot + and the killer moment: Ravi grips Ken from behind and shoots towards the audience 👀

Then they do Beautiful killer (with even more gunhands) and descend into the stage

2nd Vcr: solo scenes!

Ravi is in the rain holding an umbrella, but the then he drops it and just lets the water soak through his jacket, then he takes of the jacket and his shirt is all wet and see though;; he throws the jacket at the audience/camera and disappears!

Hyuk has an aesthetic scene in a phone booth & with the ground covered in rose petals?? He steps out and holds a blue potion and disappears when the rose petals fall around him

At an aesthetically neon bar Hakyeon surveys the scene, looking #opulent. He considers different wines but then he snaps his fingers and a bottle of champagne appears. He pours a glass, holds it close to smell the aroma, and tosses it in our face, causing him to disappear.

Leo appears draped in sheer tapestry, wearing a blindfold(?) which he takes off. Then he just, rolls around pressing into the mattress and stuff, and disappears (I can’t describe this okay, he was a hoe and that’s all you need to know)

Ken walks into a room with bathtub & candles, he looks seductively at the candles and drips some wax into the bath water. Then he blows out one of the candles and disappears

Hongbin is in the forest at night, surrounded by mist, he disappears in the mist

Finally the screen says simply “What exists is the scent of the soul”

Hongbin appears in red and does a mini solo with female back up dancers,

The members appear in formation for Scentist, wearing red fringed jackets with no undershirts — also Ravi’s has a cut out in the back 👀

During Scentist lots of mist stuff came out, idk if it was actually scented but it looked cool!

Members descend into stage again, but Leo reappeared to do his mini solo with two male back up dancers, they grind on the floor and other things;; priming us for the next performance Circle. There are mic stands and the 6 people standing behind them are clearly intimately familiar with sin

3rd Talk: mostly they talk about the performances they just did, especially Hongbin and Leo’s solo parts, move on to the next song

They perform My Valentine (who knew chairs were actually the sexiest prop possible) Love Me Do is next, and the members disappear at the end, but Hyuk reappears to do mini solo reprise of Love Me Do with male back up dancers

3rd Vcr: all the members are together at a cute bar; eating drinking, reacting to vixx old stages and music videos. They talk about their memories and Hyuk gets emotional 😭

Ken rises from the stage, sings a beautiful mini solo ballad. He’s wearing all white with a long, sparkly blue coat

The VCR screens fill with constellations, and six boxes appear in the back. The members appear one by one to sing their parts of the ballad medley (which includes On A Cold Night, 닮아, 12345, Bad Bye, and maybe more?) wearing the same outfits as Ken. When members appear their box lights up and the screen behind them has their birthstone (Same as from Shangri-la birthstone version!)

The members reappear but sitting on the stage and this time they sing Us Now, near the end of the song Starlights on the second floor do their prepared event -- they hold up sheets of paper that are either yellow or blue. Together it spells out 우린 영원을 믿어 (We believe you forever) I think its especially powerful not only because it was unexpected but because of the difficulty starting the concert today. After all, isn’t that always how it’s been for VIXX? So many struggles since the beginning but they’ve worked so hard to prove themselves to us; I know I would never leave them for anything.

4th Talk: they talk about how surprising the event was, and after getting over the surprise joke around about how Starlights were bickering whenever someone was unsure/about to put their paper down. Hakyeon talks about how funny he thinks Starlights are when they accidentally make mistakes, the confusion over the fanchant for My Valentine is especially funny to him. He asks Starlights to keep confidently making mistakes ^^

They take off the jackets and perform Chained up (This is a song that I have so much fun seeing live? Its never my favorite to listen with headphones, but on a huge stage oh my god!!) The follow up with Black out, and then the members walk off but Hakyeon stays. When the lights go back on he is surrounded by female back up dancers and has blood dripping down his chest. He does a really intense dance to scary music with lots of creepy smiles and scary expressions throughout.

The members reappear and they perform Hyde altogether (it’s made even better by the fact that Hakyeon still has blood on his clothes!)

5th Talk: Hakyeon exits (to change) and 5VIXX discuss the previous performances, and how tired they are. Leo especially looks like he’s so tired ^^; Hyuk says something about being able to keep going and he does the leg popping part from the Hyde choreo; the stage directors give him some flames to go with his leg pops which encourages him to do a bunch; the other members scold him saying he’ll burn the whole place down. Hakyeon comes back freshly changed and talks about his performance -- he asks if it was scary (we all answer 네!!!! as always but slightly unsure lol bc we’re not sure if we should say that our beloved leader was scary lol) He says that means he succeeded ^^ Then he tells us it’s time for the last stage and we all whine but Hakyeon shushes us.

They perform Desperate (how we’re all feeling at this point lol) Then they disappear and male dancers appear in the outfits from the Wind of Starlight performance. The members enter wearing silk cloaks decorated with red flowers to perform Shangri-la.

After the members disappear, Starlights cheer 사랑해 (while the overhead logo pulsates like its charging lol) until VIXX returns to perform Milky Way. They enter in the second floor carrying balloons with the letters of their stage names. Then they do Navy And Shining Gold, after which Hakyeon says its time to go but Starlights insist (One more time!) and they start doing Heaven (which of course means doing it a bunch of times lol) the boys were super cute, running, jumping, pouring water on each other lol. Hakyeon sat down and took some selfies with fans phones

After many runs, they finally said it was time to go and for everyone to go back safely, and lots of other sweet things

The end credits was a behind the scenes video with Good Day as the bgm (which means every song on EaudeVixx was featured ^^)

I’ll forever be jealous of Starlights on the second floor but ultimately I feel so grateful to have had this opportunity and I thank VIXX and Starlights both for making Lost Fantasia the best concert possible!

#talks #lost fantasia #vixx #concert recap

28 notes · View notes

spectrumscribe · 7 years

Note

Can you tell me more about your tmnt crystal gems au? Like gem placement, headcanons, just whatever you feel like sharing! I really loved the fusion posts and I've been thinking about the AU a lot I lowkey (highkey) want to draw some fan art whenever you get around to telling us about the designs a bit! You're super talented keep up the awesome work!!

Hello! It took a while to get back to this bc I hadn’t quiteworked out the gems for everyone. I have now, though! Because you reminded meto, lmao. also if anyone wants to get technical about the meanings or whateverof the gems I picked please don’t, I’m a lowly fic writer and did minimalresearch and don’t care to get super deep about things, thanks.

Alright, so I wrote that one ficlet a while back about Donnieand April, and they were the only two I had for sure down with what gems theywere. (I’ll recap them tho, in case folks missed it.)

Donnie = Purple Pearl.(because of reasons.) Gem placement is his forehead.

April = Yellow(or was it gold?) Tourmaline. Gem placement is her hip.

Raph = Pyrope.Gem placement is the back of his right hand.

Leo = Blue Iolite.Gem placement is between his shoulder blades.

Mikey = Jasper.(like, similar to canon Jasper, but smol like Amethyst ended up.) Gem placementis his chest, also like Amethyst.

Casey =(tentatively, may change if I feel like it) Onyx. Gem placement is his leftpalm.

Splinter = Fireagate. Gem placement is the same as Mikey’s.

They essentially move from planet to planet once the whole crew is together and have interstellar travel once again, staying outside the range of the crumbling empire’s reach, but mostly hang out on one specific planet that’s got very little sentient life on it. Very relaxing for a collection of people who really need to calm down sometimes. except Casey who is raring to go any time all the time and needs to be stopped

And here’s some descriptions and stuff, because hell yes I’d love fanart pls and thank you:

Donnie: He is thelankiest fuckin Pearl you will ever meet, tall as hell and kind of maybeashamed of that. Like, garnet type tall or something. Red eyes, which stand outweirdly against his color scheme. He’s this pastel purple nightmare, and has along gauzy see-through skirt type deal with shorts underneath; you know, pearltype chic. Long hair, usually in a braid that goes to his midback. Coloring….Uh, probably pale purple for the shorts and shirt, lavender purple for theskirt, and dark purple for his shoes. They are ballet shoes. He will break yournose with said shoes if you antagonize him.

April: On theshort side, not overly big but pretty thick regardless. She was designed for war after all, not forcourt regality. Standard pants plus sleeveless shirt dealio. Something close toJasper’s in SU canon, but more yellow/orange color scheme. Her hair is likeTMNT canon, and her eyes are blue. (which has ~significance~ for reasons.)

Raph: short,stocky, power house build. Taller than Mikey by a small margin. Light reds anddark reds are his color scheme, with black boots. Hair is short and dark andspiky on top, p close to being a mohawk. Green eyes, bc it’s my AU I can dowhat I want. (his reason for being ‘wrong’ or whatever shall be revealedlater.)

Leo: a slimmerbuild than Raph, more appealing to the upper castes to look at and be around. (It’sall about appearances with court gems)He’s designed for both combat andaesthetic, would’ve been a high class guard, maybe even captain of said guard.(except the whole desolation of the empire happened and that didn’t work out) Darkblue and darker blue for his hair and skin, and purpley toned light blue forhis clothing; plus black shoes. Navy blueeyes obvs speaking, and I imagine his hair to be very short. Close croppeddealio. (similarly to Raph, his reason for ‘wrongness’ will be revealed later)

Mikey: evenshorter than Raph, and the same type of power house build. Basically has thesame color scheme and Jasper in SU canon, though his hair is less flowy andmore curly. Kind of coily? If that makes sense. Blue eyes obvs, but other thanthat he resembles canon Jasper/Amethyst strongly. (y’all can probably guess hisbackstory already)

Splinter: tol. Holyfuck so tol. He was a general of sorts in the empire, and a very high rankingone at that. Body type is like his canon ratdad self, and his robe dealtranslates into this AU too. Honestly he just looks a lot like Hamato Yoshi didas a human. Same sort of dark red color scheme too. (bleh, boring, on to thenext one who is not)

Casey: skinnymotherfucker, about the same height as Donnie, and the most ‘metal’ gem to haveever come into existence. His clothing is a mess of whites and greys and black,mostly because he ended up coming out of the ground… kind of wrong? His gem hasa shard of foreign material in it, so while he’s still perfectly good in afight, he’s not entirely a gem and thus didn’t stick to the physical design hewas supposed to. He also popped out of the ground without a lick of knowledgeabout the empire, or gems, or even who the hell he was, so he never took thename Onyx. He’s always just been Casey, and he was raised up with verydifferent ideals than what other gems got.

Anyways. Bandanna boy looks like this scruffy skinny thing, andtends to change his outfit every time he regenerates. (which is often. because he’sCasey and he is always getting intotrouble.) dark grey skin, and black hair, etc. Canon him, but worse, because he can regenerate himselfand his weapons as many times as hewants. Cue endless chaos.

—-

Uh, as for headcanons, I guess I’ll give an assortment ofrandom things I have in my head about this AU:

-Donnie doesn’t like sleeping. He says it feels weird and isuncomfortable with being unaware of his surroundings.

-Casey and Mikey are the only ones who eat food regularly. Everyoneelse either partakes on few occasions, or outright refuses because it’s gross.

-Leo has a vintage collection of sci-fi comics and books,and adores them, despite having… actually lived a sci-fi adventure… literallyhis whole life…

-how each of the boys, and then April, took their new nameshad to do with the books and bizarre timekeeping policies that came from adistant planet that Splinter found at one point and became taken with.

-Raph keeps pets, but not often, since he outlives them alland it feels like they die too quickly to make the pain worth it.

-when they found him, Mikey hadn’t ever met another gem. It was…an experience. For everyone involved.

-the first time Donnie met Leo and Raph, he kicked Raph hardenough he fell down a cliff. Then Leo too. That was also an experience foreveryone involved.

-gardening is a hobby everyone eventually gets involved in.Since the planet they spend the most time on is mostly uninhabited, they cancreate enormous gardens and come back in a few years to see how things haveprogressed. The perks of living extremely long lives, am I right?

-fusion is an iffy subject at first, because everyone isstill shaking off the old social ideals of the empire, but eventually itbecomes a very regular occurrence. The first ones to fuse are Leo and Mikey,because of a dire situation. I haven’t decided their fusion gem quite yet, but I’llget to it.

-no one is sure why Casey’s weapon is a hockey stick, or… all that clear on what that really is… but thatdoesn’t stop Casey from using it in battle. And during their down time. Andpretty much constantly.

-Donnie gets reunited with an old, dear friend at somepoint. It’s an important reunion, since this person helped him find theconfidence to own himself, and belong to no one.

-April’s past is something she keeps hidden for a longwhile, until they find a ship that has information in its mainframe about her,and what she was designed to do…

-sleeping piles happen multiple times, okay? Even if somemembers of the pile don’t actually sleep during it.

—-

That’s about it for now. I should get back to this AU, sincea lot of it is really wholesome and full of friendship things, and a lot moreof it is about insecurities and hidden pasts and self-image issues. All things Iadore. :3c

87 notes · View notes

hongbab · 7 years

Text

The Songbird - Wonshik snorts, half a smile quirking the left corner of his mouth upwards, but a beat later it dies down and he looks up with sadness in his eyes. “Please, don’t hurt Jaehwan,” he says quietly. “He’s not the one at fault.” (Leo/Ken, pg-13, 5622)

a/n: written for this prompt. this is probably not what you had in mind, anon, but i hope you’ll still like it;;

It’s 2.36am and Taekwoon is still sitting in front of his computer with his elbows on his desk, his fingers buried under his hair as he holds his forehead in his palms.

Everyone else from the department has already gone home and he should have done so as well, but instead, he keeps staring at the blaring monitor with the browser open at the intranet home page. He doesn’t know how to start this. Or, more like, he can’t start it without having to crawl out of his skin.

When Hakyeon called him into his office, Taekwoon thought he might want to praise him for single-handedly catching the head of that lowly gang of drug smugglers, maybe even tell him to take a few days off as a reward. And Hakyeon praised him, told him he was his best man, and his eyes were sparkling, a happy but nervous smile plastered on his face. However, he didn’t give Taekwoon any rewards, but—and he looked troubled when he did this—gave him a new case that most detectives had failed to solve thus far.

“You are our only hope,” Hakyeon said, sliding a file towards Taekwoon on the desk. “He’s a fucking phantom and everyone’s so lost.”

So, for the last three hours, Taekwoon has been sitting behind his computer with the file open in front of him, pictures and screenshots and handwritten notes and printed pages all scattered around, the name ‘Songbird’ repeated on every single piece of paper. This is torture and he’s already cringing so hard.

He has solved so many cases during his career: from criminal possession of weapons through mysterious deaths to some mafia-level shit, and now he’s been assigned this. He hates it more than anything before.

Maybe he’ll just start tonight, proceed until the point his colleagues have been unable to move on from, and say he can’t do it.

The Songbird’s website is entitled—surprise, surprise—‘Songbird’ and it’s pretty much just a blank index page with a high-resolution picture of some kind of bird* with the weirdest reddish-yellowish-orange feathers—the ends of which look like locks of red hair—and yellow and green head that Taekwoon has ever seen (he hasn’t seen a great many kinds of birds in his life). He clicks the image and a welcoming page pops up, asking him to either sign up or sign in.

This is it. This is where he should stop.

Taekwoon lets out a sigh and clicks the sign up button which directs him to a page that asks for his e-mail address, name, gender, the date of his birth, and the details of his credit card. How can this person be so fucking obvious.

He digs out the expired credit card Hakyeon handed him with the documents from under the pile of papers and types up the numbers, filling in the form entirely with fake personal data. He clicks the confirmation link in the e-mail he receives in his—again—fake inbox, and on the new page that pops up the title reads, ‘Welcome to Paradise’, a text box appearing underneath and asking him to write a letter to the owner of the site about how he found them, what he wants from them, and what he wishes to do to them.

Taekwoon lets his head fall on the desk and the pain in his forehead grounds him enough not to start screaming in frustration.

When the mobile phone next to his hand pings with a new text, Taekwoon almost falls off his chair in surprise.

It’s been four days since he signed up to the Songbird’s website and two days since the Songbird sent him a message in which he thanked Taekwoon for signing up and asked for his Kakao ID so they could chat there. The message was full of unnecessary emojis and tildes, and ended with an “xoxo, your Songbird”, forcing Taekwoon to stifle a hysterical laugh.

He gulps down some of his now cold latte to calm himself and takes the cheap, bad quality smartphone—a tool he was given to execute the investigation—into his hand, swiping up with a clammy finger to unlock the screen.

~Songbird~ hi Leo~~

He squints at the cheesy alias he’s chosen to use (if this person is a Songbird, Taekwoon might as well be something big and scary that would eat a fucking bird for dessert), and looks around in the office to see if someone is looking. Sanghyuk, on his right, is immersed in a video of weird game characters instead of actually working, so he takes a deep breath and replies.

Leo hi

~Songbird~ is something wrong? :^(

Leo no, why do you think something’s wrong?

~Songbird~ just the simple hi :/ i hope my message didn’t upset you, i was actually so surprised by your emotional letter~ hehe

Leo oh I was just… ugh I might have got a little carried away with that letter

~Songbird~ it’s okay it was really cute :3 i really liked the part where you wrote you’d like to take me out for a nice dinner and kiss me goodnight afterwards^^ you seem so sweet ♥

Leo thank you

~Songbird~ are you by any chance replying to me in such short sentences bc you’re shy? haha

Taekwoon puts the phone on the desk and drags his hands over his face, hating how his stomach is in knots from this whole thing. He’s never been a good communicator, neither has he been good at texting people in a smooth way, especially not if he was supposed to sound flirty. Maybe this is the point where he should hand the phone over to Sanghyuk to dig into the Songbird's ID specifications, or maybe he should just drop the phone into the toilet, possibly attempt to drown himself in the sink afterwards, but he sniffles instead and drinks the rest of his awful latte before taking the phone into his hands again.

Leo I’m not very good at texting people talking to you like this makes me a little flustered

~Songbird~ OMG so cute!! u don’t need to be flustered sweetheart you’re doing great! :) would it be better if i sent u a kiss?

Taekwoon all but chokes on his own saliva and Sanghyuk glances at him from the corner of his eye, ignoring him anew and going back to his video when Taekwoon stops coughing. His fingers are trembling on the screen when he types up his answer.

Leo I giess *guess

More than a minute passes without a new text and Taekwoon feels all the blood leaving his body to creep up into his cheeks, making him blush furiously. He shakes his legs nervously under the desk and his heart is going crazy and he’s just so fucking angry with himself for being such an anxious piece of shit—he might even be a little excited and it just makes him all the more annoyed.

~Songbird~ sent a video

The small clip shows a pair of pretty, plush and very pink lips that are pursed and they get as close to the camera as possible, a very loud smacking sound coming from the speakers of the phone. Taekwoon mutes the damn thing as fast as his jittery fingers let him, and when he looks back down at the screen, he sees the lips parting, revealing snow white teeth as the Songbird smiles sweetly.

And Taekwoon is mesmerized.

He replays the video three times, trying to imagine how the Songbird looks like, but he’s lost and all he can think of is that genuine smile and the little air kiss.

His legs stop shaking.

~Songbird~ better now?^^

Leo it was cute

~Songbird~ honestly you’re so adorable~~ I hope you’d still wanna kiss me after that dinner date

Leo yeah, I would your lips are pretty

~Songbird~ aww thanks i gtg now but i’ll get back to you soon sweet dreams honey ♥

Leo good night

Another night ends with Taekwoon headbutting his desk.

“Here.”

Taekwoon turns away from the document he’s typing up and glances at the mobile device on his desk, Sanghyuk letting go of it as he plops down in his chair. There’s a devilish smirk on his face that Taekwoon knows means something awful, his eyes already narrowing before Sanghyuk would say anything more.

“Have you found him?”

“I found an IP address, but that doesn’t mean much,” Sanghyuk says, leaning back in his chair. “But first—”

“I said no questions,” Taekwoon grumbles. “You’ve read the whole thing, haven’t you?”

“Read it, watched the video and all,” Sanghyuk replies and his smirk turns into a full grin. “You have such a way with words.”

“Shut up,” Taekwoon scoffs. “I need to get him to trust me. And I told you not to read it.”

“Yeah, well, that’s why I read it. He must have some very low standards if he thinks you’re cute, but anyways, what we now know is that the device he uses belongs to a certain Mr Kim Wonshik.”

“Which means that his real name is Kim Wonshik, right?”

“Maybe,” Sanghyuk shrugs. “He might have stolen it or something. But if I were you—and thankfully, I’m not—” Taekwoon sends him a death glare here, “I’d start off by digging up some info about this Wonshik guy and ask him if he knows anything about your little birdie. Or, if he is your little birdie.”

“He’s not my— oh, fuck off.”

Sanghyuk sniggers and turns back to his computer.

~Songbird~ sent a photo

Taekwoon snatches the phone away from the edge of his desk before Sanghyuk could touch it first, standing up to walk away so he wouldn’t have to deal with the nerdy brat’s examining stare as he opens the photo.

His breath catches in his throat when the picture finally loads and Taekwoon's back hits the wall of the empty corridor as he sways a little. It’s an almost full-body photograph and the person in it is wearing a black, silk-like bathrobe, the thin, shiny material sticking to a frail-looking body, the light enhancing every curve and edge underneath. The hem of the robe bunches just under the boy’s hip bones, leaving a pair of smooth, pale thighs visible, a large part of the Songbird’s chest also uncovered. He’s apparently lying on a bed, and Taekwoon notices a never before seen part of his face: a prominent nose above the plump lips which he has already seen at least twenty times in the video.

The Songbird is pouting.

~Songbird~ it’s such a lazy morning what are you doing sweetie?

Leo working

~Songbird~ oh you poor thing :( and what do you do?

Taekwoon takes a deep breath and writes down what comes to his mind first.

Leo I’m a lawyer

~Songbird~ !!! sounds exciting tbh i wish you were here now

Taekwoon slides down against the wall and crouches, his knees too weak to keep him upright any longer. He swallows around a lump in his throat.

Leo why?

~Songbird~ i’m bored and lonely :(

Leo do you think I’d be entertaining enough to make you feel less bored?

After some thinking, he adds a spiritless

haha

~Songbird~ well i have a few ideas about how we could pass time~~ not sure if i should tell you abt them at this point you still seem a little nervous :D

Leo I’m a little nervous but I mean you can tell me if you want

~Songbird~ first you could play with my hair bc i really like that^^ and then maybe we could kiss some hehe and if u feel up to it we could get rid of my bathrobe andddd i’ll let u know abt the rest if we can meet up sometime ♥

Taekwoon feels his limbs going numb, but despite the feeling, he springs up from the floor and locks the phone, putting it into his pocket as he starts striding towards the bathroom. He opens the tap and tries to stand as far away from the counter as possible so his crotch won’t brush against it, making everything happening down there a lot worse, and splashes icy water into his face, tapping it into his cheeks to calm himself. When he looks up into the mirror with some water drops running down his skin, he sees dark shadows under his eyes, his skin looks almost grey and there’s a flush across his cheeks, and he has a few more crow’s feet now than the last time he looked at himself for real.

He really needs to take a few days off and preferably get laid on those days, too, because withdrawing from any kind of intimacy with others has been taking a toll on him and now he’s hard just thinking about a naked stranger whose face he hasn’t even seen yet. How sick is he…

He also needs to see the Songbird behind bars as soon as possible.

When he storms back to his desk, Sanghyuk blinks up at him curiously, leaning into his personal space to peer at his monitor screen.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I’m going to find Kim Wonshik.”

“And why are you so upset about this plan of yours?” Sanghyuk arches an eyebrow. “Did something happen?”

“Don’t talk to me now,” Taekwoon snarls.

“Rude.”

Taekwoon can’t exactly say he’s prepared for meeting the Songbird just now, but he stands in front of a door with a hand raised to it and ready to knock. He doesn’t really know what he’s going to do if the Songbird is the one who opens the door for him, and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do if it’s someone else.

So many years of being a detective and now he’s nervous about meeting a civilian.

He knocks on the door and waits, the knob turning after a few moments.

“Um, hi,” the guy standing in the doorway says, looking confused.

He is not the Songbird and Taekwoon is a hundred percent sure about it; he’s looked at the Songbird’s almost full-body selfie enough times to memorise his apparent proportions, his skin tone, the fragility etched into all of his visible body parts. The person in front of him is tall and lean-bodied and has a tattoo peeking from the collar of his tank top and Taekwoon almost heaves a sigh when he notices it.

“Detective Jung Taekwoon,” he announces, holding up his badge. “I’d like to have a few words with you.”

The guy goes pale, but steps aside and lets Taekwoon into his small studio flat, shuffling to the couch to fetch his slippers.

“Are you Kim Wonshik?” Taekwoon asks, looking around the place so he doesn’t have to look the guy in the eye, still feeling wrong-footed from the whole thing just because the Songbird is involved.

“Yeah,” the man says and Taekwoon closes his eyes for a moment in relief. “What’s going on?”

“Do you know the Songbird?” Taekwoon inquires then, pocketing his hands so he won’t fidget so obviously.

“Song— what,” Wonshik looks even more confused, standing in the middle of his flat in a pair of basketball shorts and a white tank top. He scratches the back of his head awkwardly. “Do you mean Jaehwan?”

“Jaehwan?” Taekwoon arches an eyebrow, his head snapping to Wonshik curiously.

“Ah, you don’t— oh,” Wonshik deflates and if possible, even more blood leaves his cheeks. “I— you might not be talking about him.”

“Has a website through which he recruits people he can trick for money by selling his body?” Taekwoon asks with a little bit of acid to it, and the blood returns to Wonshik's cheeks at that, turning it red.

“Listen, he’s not—”

“Do you know anything about his current whereabouts?”

“I don’t,” Wonshik says firmly and it’s true; Taekwoon sees the sincerity in his eyes and maybe some… sadness, too. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t tell anybody.”

“Yes, well,” Taekwoon snorts, “that would earn you a few years in jail and not in the same cell with him. Just saying. Anyways, he’s got a phone number that is supposed to be yours. Did you possibly give him a device to use?”

Wonshik opens his mouth and then promptly closes it. He makes a face as he asks, “Okay, can I get a lawyer at this point?”

“You could,” Taekwoon replies a little impatiently. “But I don’t think you want to go into the process just yet; you’ll have enough time for that later. So?”

“Do you want me to tell you how I’m connected to him?” Wonshik squints. “Like, everything?”

“By all means, yes.”

“Alright, well—” Wonshik's bottom hovers above a chair and he motions towards the one closer to Taekwoon, although a little hesitatingly. “Sit down, if you want.”

“Thank you.”

Taekwoon pulls out the chair and sits, lacing his fingers on the table top.

“So,” Wonshik clears his throat, “I’d actually heard about Jaehwan's site from a friend and—”

“Who is that friend?”

Wonshik furrows his brow in judgement, his facial expression turning dark. Taekwoon doesn’t budge, but he can feel how much he’s annoying Wonshik.

“His name is Hongbin, Lee Hongbin,” Wonshik replies with a small sigh. “I’m not sure how he knows Jaehwan but I think he said something about some high school they attended together? So, I was, like, really under the weather and I’d been like that for a while at that point and Hongbin suggested I try meeting with Jaehwan.” He pauses, shutting his eyes for a second. “Jaehwan and I, we talked a lot through e-mails, it was a bit like online friendship at first, but then I… I don’t know, I kind of started to feel something for him. We met up after a while and talked a lot and started meeting each other from time to time.” He glances up at Taekwoon, his face flushed again. “I just really liked Jaehwan and um, well, he said he didn’t like me like that, but he still wanted to be friends with me, though it was difficult because of his… circumstances. I gave him my old phone because he once mentioned how much more comfortable it would be to talk to people by using a smartphone instead of e-mailing each other.”

“Are you saying he’s been operating a website which actually brings him a lot of money, but there was a time when he didn’t have a phone?” Taekwoon asks, disbelieving.

“The website is not his and he said he can’t have a phone because it’s dangerous,” Wonshik says, now obviously concerned that he’s saying too much. He averts his eyes. “The whole thing is totally different from how you see it.”

“Care to share how it’s different?”

Wonshik leans back in his chair, his face haggard like he has aged 20 years during their conversation. He looks broken and now it’s Taekwoon who feels confused.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Wonshik mumbles. “It’s— it’s just not my business to talk about, you know? I’ve never really been involved in the story apart from being Jaehwan's… friend, or whatever.”

“Are you currently in contact with Jaehwan?”

“No,” Wonshik shakes his head. “He’s not allowed to contact me.”

“What do you mean ‘not allowed’?”

Wonshik makes a wailing noise.

“Can we please stop now?”

“Alright,” Taekwoon takes a deep breath and stands up. “Thank you for your contribution, though; you’ve been a great help. Here’s my contact if you happen to remember something you wouldn’t like to keep to yourself.”

Wonshik slowly reaches out for the business card Taekwoon is offering him, turning it around between his fingers, looking at it, but probably not actually seeing it.

“Are you a real cop?” he asks, blinking up at Taekwoon.

“I am,” Taekwoon nods. “I have a gun and all.”

Wonshik snorts, half a smile quirking the left corner of his mouth upwards, but a beat later it dies down and he looks up with sadness in his eyes.

“Please, don’t hurt Jaehwan,” he says quietly. “He’s not the one at fault.”

Leo hey

~Songbird~ oh hello~ what’s up?

Leo I’ve been thinking and I wanted to ask you if we could meet

~Songbird~ finally haha ofc we can sweetie when would u like to meet?

Leo maybe tonight? if possible?

~Songbird~ sure^^ can u come to the hotel i’m staying at?

No one can really accuse Taekwoon of not trying his best as he parks his car in front of the four-star hotel and turns the rear-view mirror towards himself, examining his own face. He looks like he normally does, really; poker face and a cutting glance, his mouth a tight line. He did spend a little more time combing his hair than he usually does and he also took a shower because he felt like he needed it, and it’s not like he’s dressed fancy in just a T-shirt and a pair of jeans with his favourite sneakers, though the extra sprinkle of cologne might have been too much. He runs a hand over his face, trying to make his stupid heart understand that this is work, this is not a date and if everything goes well, he’ll leave this place with Jaehwan sitting in the back with a pair of handcuffs around his wrists, and then he’ll have some paperwork to do at the station. He’ll be in bed by midnight, content and happy and tomorrow Hakyeon will tell him he’s getting a bonus for doing an excellent job on this case.

It’s going to be okay. This is going to work out.

Taekwoon tries very hard to keep his composure as he tells the receptionist he’s there to visit the guest in room 524 and gets the assent, his legs feeling heavy as they carry him into the lift.

Jaehwan sent him a picture earlier, of himself, clad in only an oversized white T-shirt and what must have been the hem of his briefs peeking, pale thighs and pink knees and muscular calves all on display. He asked Taekwoon if he thought that shirt was okay for tonight and Taekwoon remembers the mirror selfie now as he throws his head back against the unforgiving metal wall, closing his eyes.

It’s going to have to be okay.

The door to room 524 opens after his second knock and Taekwoon freezes up immediately.

It’s Jaehwan standing in the doorway; he can tell not only from the T-shirt he’s already seen in the selfie but also from the broad shoulders and small waist, from the shapely legs covered by the black fabric of a pair of trousers. And Jaehwan's face is beautiful; his eyes two sparkling, almond shaped gemstones above the perfect curve of his nose, his lips plump and red even like this, when he’s not pouting. His hair is a honey brown colour and looks silky with his fringe pushed back from his forehead but a tiny lock is hanging there still, like it didn’t want to be restrained by hair spray. Taekwoon feels his jaw drop slightly.

"Hi," Jaehwan says in the most pleasant voice Taekwoon has ever heard, a wide, somewhat crooked smile spreading on his lips and the slightest of dimples appearing on the two sides of his cheeks. "Come in."

Taekwoon blinks a few to clear his head, though he doesn't succeed. He steps into the hotel room that looks quite cool considering it's only a four-star hotel, the furniture simple and the bedsheets crisp and white. He doesn't know how to proceed.

Jaehwan closes the door and pads to him with his naked feet, standing in front of him with a gentle smile on his face. Taekwoon feels a blush spreading over the bridge of his nose.

"I—" he starts without a clear plan about what he really wants to say. "I— I'm—"

"Ssh," Jaehwan whispers and then laughs, cupping Taekwoon's cheeks in his hands. "It's going to be alright. You're here now."

Taekwoon's heart skips a beat and returns to its job at full speed as Jaehwan pulls him in and presses his lips against his own, kissing him slowly, sweetly. It only registers in the back of Taekwoon's mind that he shouldn't go into it, the end of his train of thought just slipping out of his grasp, leaving him helpless and defenceless in the face of Jaehwan's citrusy perfume and the softness of his lips, the warmth of his mouth, and his bony fingers in Taekwoon's hair.

Jaehwan's waist is small but just the right size in Taekwoon's hold and he feels himself melt against the boy, Jaehwan swallowing a quiet mewl when it escapes his throat.

He doesn't want to stop this.

Jaehwan pulls away after too little time, a hand resting on the side of Taekwoon's neck, his thumb touching his pulse point. He looks like a peach blossom, Taekwoon thinks, his lips even redder and his cheeks tinted with a somewhat dark shade of pink, eyes fluttering as he looks at Taekwoon.

"You're different from how I imagined," Jaehwan says, tilting his head to the side. "A lot more handsome."

Taekwoon blinks a few in embarrassment, suddenly too aware of the hands on him, of his hands on Jaehwan. He pulls back entirely.

"Uh, can we talk?" he asks.

You know, I'm actually here to arrest you—honestly, what the fuck is he doing.

"Talk?" Jaehwan asks and glances away into a corner. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Jaehwan, I—"

Jaehwan stills entirely, pricking up his pointy ears, the dismay clearly visible on his face as he starts breathing faster, his lips parting.

“Let’s go to the bar,” he says urgently, and a moment later he’s grabbing Taekwoon's wrist, tugging him out of the room and almost running through the corridor.

They stop in a corner just by the fire exit and Jaehwan—as small as he looks—pushes at Taekwoon's shoulders, making him fall against the wall with a yelp.

“I thought we were going to the bar?” Taekwoon mumbles.

“No,” Jaehwan replies, furrowing his brow. “We just had to get out of there. Who are you? How do you know my name?”

“Wonshik,” Taekwoon says. Jaehwan's pretty eyes narrow and he seems to puff up a little. “And I’ll tell you who I am if you tell me why we had to get out of the room.”

“It’s bugged so he’ll know if you want to hurt me,” Jaehwan jabbers and that doesn’t serve with too much information. “You’re a cop, aren’t you?”

It feels like someone has just poured a bucket of ice water over his head and Taekwoon feels himself tense up. Jaehwan doesn’t seem to be particularly surprised anymore, nor does he look scared with his hands keeping Taekwoon's shoulders pinned to the wall; all he looks is angry and disappointed and hurt. And for some reason, Taekwoon feels ashamed.

“Listen,” Taekwoon starts, “what you’re doing is illegal and—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Jaehwan rolls his eyes. “You were playing so well, I wouldn’t have thought— fucking Wonshik.”

“Okay, so, um,” Taekwoon straightens and forces Jaehwan's hands off his shoulders and instead, takes his wrists in his grasp. “I think it’ll be best if I take you to the station now.”

“No!” Jaehwan cries out, apparently shocked by his own volume. He shakes Taekwoon's hands off his wrists. “Don’t you understand? I’m not the one you should be after.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve tricked twenty-three people for money in the last few months; I’m pretty sure you’re the one I should be after,” Taekwoon replies, now getting angry.

“Has Wonshik told you about Hongbin?” Jaehwan asks, his eyes strangely wide like he’s afraid of the name.

“He said he’d heard of you from him.” Taekwoon knits his eyebrows. “Does he have anything to do with this whole thing?”

“Does he— oh my God,” Jaehwan goes pale and as he falls silent, Taekwoon can hear the vibration of his phone in the pocket of his trousers. Jaehwan fishes it out, closing his eyes for a second and taking a deep breath as he looks at the screen, swiping to take the call. “Hey. No, it’s nothing. We just needed something to make the atmosphere less tense,” Jaehwan chuckles and he’s putting up a perfect act until his eyes wander up to Taekwoon's face and he bites his lower lip. “You want to come here? Ah, but we haven’t— I’m not… I’m not in danger, Hongbin,” his voice goes low and he almost whispers, “I don’t think you should come here.”

Taekwoon feels his hands ball up into fists, the confusion irking him more than anything. He wants Jaehwan to stop talking on the phone and explain everything, to untangle this mess in his head, and also—he slaps himself mentally at this—maybe to kiss some more. Fuck everything.

“Okay,” Jaehwan says dejectedly. “I love you, too.”

That’s a nice little figurative kick in the gut.

Jaehwan ends the call and lowers his head, and he looks so tiny as he keeps staring at the floor.

“He’s coming here,” Jaehwan sighs and looks up at Taekwoon with tears shining in his eyes. “This is all your fault and I… I don’t want to betray him, but I’m so tired.”

“Do you… that is… do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

“I don’t really have a choice, now do I?” Jaehwan laughs hollowly and then he plops down on the floor. Taekwoon follows him down there and sits, watching as Jaehwan plays with a loose thread of his sock. “You’ll probably think I’m crazy and that this is unreal, but… so, the thing is that Hongbin had come up with this idea about half a year ago, I think? That we could make money with… well, me, because he said that a lot of men think I’m pretty?” He pauses.

“You’re really pretty,” Taekwoon says before he could think twice and then averts his eyes, a blush creeping up on his neck. Jaehwan snorts.

“I hate that you’re still so sweet when I’m making a confession that’s probably going to get me in jail,” he says. “But anyways, the point is that we’d set up that site and he’s not doing it… in such an immoral way? He only takes the money of those I agree to meet up with and as soon as he gets the confirmation from me that the guy has shown up, we charge their card. Your money has probably already been taken, actually.”

“I used an expired card,” Taekwoon mumbles.

Jaehwan laughs and this time it’s a happy one. He glances up at Taekwoon and says, “You’re not playing fair either.”

“Yeah, but I have legal permission for that,” Taekwoon replies and that makes Jaehwan chuckle again, the sound of it making a bunch of crazy butterflies swarm in Taekwoon’s stomach. “Are you, by any chance, you know… together? You said you loved him, too.”

That apparently saddens Jaehwan and his shoulders sag, his fingers trembling in the air and he stops playing with the thread.

“He really watches out for me and keeps me safe. It did start out like… dating, but I’ve been…” a deep breath, “I’ve got so tired of being used, because… I actually needed to… sometimes do service so those people I met up with could spread the word about this whole thing and we could get more guests and more money, but I didn’t have to do it every time. I’m just… I’m scared of getting out.”

“Scared?” Taekwoon asks. “Is he… threatening you or something?”

“No, of course not,” Jaehwan shakes his head. “I just… I knew there’d be trouble and I’m scared of… the consequences. For both of us.”

“I’m sorry,” Taekwoon says and he knows how empty it sounds even if he feels close to angry tears from the whole situation. He has never before felt this strongly that he wanted to just disappear, he’s never wanted to jump into a different universe and start a new life from scratch as much as he does now. He doesn’t want to be Jung Taekwoon; he wants to be that funny-looking bellboy down the hall.

“There’s really nothing to do, right?”

Jaehwan exhales shakily and his eyes are huge and full of worry, sorrow, and regret. Taekwoon takes his fingers from his crossed ankles and holds his cold hands in his palms, lets Jaehwan bury his face into the crook of his neck, his lips quivering against Taekwoon's skin.

Jaehwan wilts in Taekwoon's hold like a small flower that suddenly got picked out of the soil and left under the piercing sun to die.

The last time detective Jung Taekwoon sees his Songbird it’s in his cage.

Jaehwan has dark shadows contouring his glassy eyes and his skin is almost grey, his shoulder blades visible even under his shirt as if his wings have got torn out, leaving only the stubs there.

Taekwoon touches two fingers to the metal bars, tries to get closer to Jaehwan who is sitting in the corner, only half facing him, hugging his knobby knees to his chest.

Taekwoon wants to tell him he’ll get him out of there as soon as he can, he wants to tell him how he has already given his badge back, how he has already quit just so he can help, but Jaehwan doesn’t seem like he wants to hear any of those.

Taekwoon let him out of his prison only to lock him up in an entirely different way.

The Songbird can’t be free.

*it’s a raggiana bird-of-paradise

#vixx #leo #ken #keo #rating: pg13 #req #au #angst

18 notes · View notes

sogasogaso · 7 years

Text

q&a tag!!

tagged by @jeonghhan my favorite grandma/older sister figure i love u vivi :’)

RULES: ANSWER THE QUESTIONS IN A NEW POST AND TAG BLOGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

taggin: @imaginal @canarybees @keith-koganes @amynelsons @lights-standing-bi @linknealtrash @producedbyjhope @softneil @mei-lingere @danshine @i-am-become-the-dark @ufocafe @mythologisation

nickname: soga

gender: female

height: 4′11.. sigh

time right now: 9:48PM (guess who’s not doing homework...)

last thing i googled: Mindy Gledhill (I just discovered her music thanks to @catnippackets!! thank you so much!! it’s so bright and cheery and bouncy i love it)

favorite bands: seventeen, fun., monsta x, akmu, triple h, gorrilaz, alabama shakes, red velvet, new politics, the neighbourhood, arctic monkeys, queen, oh wonder, imagine dragons, paramore, gfriend, scott bradlee’s postmodern jukebox (does that count? is that a band?), us the duo, day6, mother mother, pentagon and many many many more ghjghjdf

favorite solo artists: CONAN GRAY, mitski, dodie, dean, hosier tbh, zico, declan mckenna (MY BOY!!!!) , ed sheeran, beyonce, adele, missy elliott, tom odell, and many more again i really love music

song stuck in your head: the adventure time version of francis forever by mitski... olivia olson’s voice knocks me out

last movie watched: wonder woman!! it was so great aaaaa

last tv show watched: oh man it’s jeopardy lmao

when did you create your blog: it’s been like... 3 years? i think? jeez

what kind of stuff do you post: what a question!! honestly i don’t really know anymore this blog is an amalgamation of things i like. fandom stuff, be it book, movie, show, musician, or band, things i find funny, music, slight politics, pride stuff. stuff.

when did your blog reach its peak: he what

do you have any other blogs: no:((

do you get asks regularly: i usually get asks after i make my own posts/do ask games/talk to people but if we’re just chilling it’s all sporadic. all my followers are cryptids.

why did you chose your url: i am my url

following: I’M SCREAMING BC VIV IS FOLLOWING 45 PEOPLE AND I’M OUT HERE FOLLOWING 415 PEOPLE

posts: 28,444 lol it’s been a while.

hogwarts house: ravenclaw, or hufflepuff (huffleclaw)

pokémon team: i know it’s been awhile since pokemon go, but like... i’ll still fight people on why instinct is the best team

favorite colors: i gravitate towards blues (usually aquas), but i also really like baby pink, egg yellow, and red (my second favorite color)

lucky numbers: 3, 7, 12

favorite characters: oh jeez ok team voltron (esp. lance) from voltron: the last defender, nico diangelo, percy jackson, leo valdez, piper mclean, and sally jackson from the percy jackson/heroes of olympus series, team avatar (THIS INCLUDES SUKI) and uncle iroh from avatar: the last airbender, aristotle and dante from aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe, the golden trio, professor mcgonagall, luna lovegood, and all the weasleys from the harry potter series, the baudelaire children from a series of unfortunate events, all the kids in the stranger things series, lapis lazuli, steven universe, pearl, connie, and lars from steven universe, marceline, finn, princess bubblegum, and BMO from adventure time, and many many MANY more. i just have a lot of love to give hoo boy

what are you wearing right now: an extremely oversized blue t-shirt that was free from my mom’s work and soccer shorts

how many blankets do you sleep with: in the winter it’s around 3-4 but right now it’s 1-2

dream job: SCREAMS it’s being a biochemist or a wildlife biologist, OR a botanist if i could be either one day i’d cry;;; i’d also like to have a cafe/bookstore when i get older

dream trip: backpacking europe or visiting my cousins in japan for the first time!!

#tagged #friend tag #soga says

6 notes · View notes

corkcitylibraries · 3 years

Text

Book Review: Andy Lee and Niall Kelly’s Fighter

by Dr. Sorcha Fogarty

Boxing has been around since at least 688 BC, when the ancient Greeks made it into an Olympic game, but its modern history has often been controversial. To quote Joe Frazier, the first boxer to beat Muhammad Ali, “Boxing is the only sport you can get your brain shook, your money took and your name in the undertaker book.” Many deem the sport barbaric, but it is not for this blog post to decry or defend boxing, especially having read the extraordinary story of Andy Lee.

Far from an expert on Boxing, I came across this book completely by accident, and I’m glad I did. The book was shortlisted for the An Post Irish Book Awards Bord Gáis Energy Sports Book of the Year Award upon its publication in 2018, and it also made the long list for the William Hill sports book prize. The idiom “Don’t judge a book by its cover” doesn’t apply here. Almost everything you need to know about Fighter, and about Andy Lee, can be discerned from the cover of this book. Lee is, by all accounts, victorious, as the photo clearly shows. However, there is no triumphant swagger, no showy display of supremacy. Moreover, looking closely at the cover, we see that the face of the opponent has been obscured, as Lee himself states,

“I went out of my way to have the face changed because I didn’t want him to have to see it,” he says. “He doesn’t deserve that, it wouldn’t be right. It could easily be me lying on the floor. And this could be him writing a book about the career he went on to have. And if somebody did that to me, if someone put me on the cover like that, I’d be going mad.”

So the idea is that it’s a boxer, just a fighter who took a punch. It’s not him. That’s not that point of it. We went over the cover a lot of times. It’s a great photograph and it tells the story.

Regarding Lee’s personality, nothing could be more revealing: “If you look at me walking away, I’m not celebrating wildly or anything. I’ve been in a battle and that one punch could have finished me for the night just as it finished him. I’m just as hurt as he is – the difference is that he is on the ground.” You would be hard-pressed to find a negative description of Andy Lee. From the press to the public, he has consistently been described as a gentleman, a true role model, with the Irish sports website Pundit Arena summing him up best, 'Lee was a good fighter but he’s an even better human being.' In a business where showmen and blowhards prevail, Lee, as one critic has noted, was always the most decent guy in the room. In his case, he disproves Nietzsche who said, “He who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself.”

A former Irish Olympian boxer, former world champion, freshly retired in early 2018 with a record of 35 wins from 39 pro fights, Andy Lee’s Fighter is the quintessential story of a young boy on the margins of society who made it to the top. Lee competed from 2006 to 2017, held the WBO middleweight title from 2014 to 2015, and in doing so became the first member of the travelling community to win a major world title. Lee was born in London to Irish Traveller parents in 1984 who returned to Limerick in 1998. The book shows how he had to deal with bullying when he was in school, where the other kids would sing at him, “We all live in a yellow caravan, a yellow caravan, a yellow caravan...” He left school at 13, even though he was bright enough to get into the top class when he started secondary school. His determination to stay true to himself, despite the suffocating “rules” of the Travelling Community which, among them, forbids relationships between people from the settled and travelling communities, saw him bring a settled girl home to meet his father, who had forbidden Lee to do so. Lee, however, was a formidable judge of character, and knew that his father and the settled girl, now his wife, the musician, writer and actor Maud Lee, would hit it off, and he was right. Fighter is not just an account of a boxer’s career. It is also a love story. Lee spends much time on his relationship with Maud in the book, and it is obvious that the two share an incredibly close bond. He recalls the early days of meeting Maud,

“I know we’re from different worlds, that this isn’t how it works. I know that bright, brilliant, educated young women from South County Dublin who have the world at their feet don’t end up with a gypsy boxer from Limerick via London who left school at 13. She must know it too, but she doesn’t care. I tell her everything honestly, about my life, my heritage, my family, anything that she would want to know.”

As regards his Gypsy heritage, Lee neither defines himself by it, nor does he eschew it. As he says, “It’s not something I’ve ever really shouted about but it’s not something I ever shied away from either. I am who I am – I don’t have to be singing from the rooftops. I’m not a campaigner in any sense. I could be. But I only represent myself. Maybe I could have some impact.” Generally, Traveller kids leave education after primary school in order to learn ‘traditional skills’ at home. For boys, this means trades such as bricklaying or tree-cutting, as well as learning to do odd jobs. Meanwhile, the girls must learn how to clean to impeccable standards, as well as how to cook and to care for younger siblings. Once the eldest daughter has left school, Traveller mums take a step back and leave her in charge. Lee’s journey shows that an alternate route is possible, and this is something he did hope his book might be able to achieve, as he states in an interview,

“And maybe it’ll be some way for a young Traveller or Gypsy to change how they think as well if they read it. Maybe they will get a sense that they have more options than they think they do in life. Because it is a very restricted life. I say it in the book – you are brought up in a world where you have two choices, you have a world of crime or a world of work from a young age. That’s basically it when you’re a kid in that world. You don’t know much beyond it.”

Although things are changing, with more children in the Travelling community staying in school, and going on to earn degrees at University, the customs and traditions of the Travelling community are difficult to overcome, and many stay within the rigid confines of these customs.

For Lee, boxing was the route to a different life, and his family stayed firmly by his side throughout. The book describes his first workout in the Kronk Gym in Detroit, when he steps into the ring to the call of “fresh meat, fresh meat” and, respect earned, steps out to the comment that “This white boy can box”. Under the tutelage of Emanuel Steward, who trained 41 world champions throughout his career, in 2014, following 18 straight unanswered punches, Lee defeated Korobov to claim the world title, the first time since 1934 that an Irish fighter earned such a victor on US soil. The book chronicles the relationship between Lee and Steward, the years that Lee lived in the Steward family house, how the two drifted apart and then, finally, the poignant deathbed reconciliation as Steward passed away in 2012. The book gives captivating insights into the relationship between the two men. Lee learned a great deal from Steward; as Lee recounts, it seems that Steward’s mastery was in the little details. He instructed Lee how to put sellotape on his laces and protective cup so they didn’t come loose or fall down during a fight. Instead of putting Vaseline on his face, Steward told Lee to apply cocoa butter, “Everyone laughs at me when they hear that,” says Lee, “but I don’t get cut anymore.”

The book contains a host of fascinating anecdotes, glimpses into Lee’s private world, as he describes the Christmas Eve in Dublin after just signing his pro contract, with himself and Maud on George’s Street where they “stop at the ATM as the crowds rush on around us. I enter my pin code and the two of us stand, staring at the balance on the screen.” Also, when preparing for that redemptive night in Las Vegas in the ring with Korobov, Lee tells us how he constantly wrote in his notebook – law of attraction style - “I will become world champion.” His descriptions of his time in the ring are also captivating. As Lee acknowledges himself, in boxing, defeats are often much more interesting than victories. Unsurprisingly, the story of his first two defeats and the shattering impact they have on his career progression are fascinating. He showcases his resilience as he twice rebuilt his career, losing his 15th pro-fight and then the title fight against Julio Cesar Chavez Junior in El Paso. It is his win over John Jackson that forced me onto YouTube, amazed at how Lee, seemingly on course for defeat, at the mercy of Jackson, up against the ropes, comes back to deliver one of the greatest knockouts in boxing history.

Lee’s story is a compelling insight into the thoughts of a boxer who made it to the top without the need to exude brash arrogance. On 20 February 2018, Lee confirmed his retirement from boxing on Irish radio station Newstalk, on the Off The Ball sports programme, citing responsibilities as a father for why he had chosen to retire, “I got out having achieved what I wanted and having secured my future to a certain extent – not that I’m set for life or anything but I can go out for a Chinese on a Saturday and not worry about it.”

Ultimately, Fighter is intense, emotional and funny, and Lee’s humility and honesty make the book an engrossing and inspirational read. The universally acknowledged “lovely guy” most definitely refutes the common aphorism, based on a quote from 1946 by another famous sportsman, American baseball player, manager and coach Leo Durocher, “Nice guys finish last”.

Available now on Borrowbox

Sources

https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/roles-with-the-punches-andy-lee-uncovered-1.3680689

https://www.paveepoint.ie/traveller-culture-and-identity/

https://www.irishexaminer.com/sport/arid-20320916.html

#corkcitylibraries #sportswriting #boxing

0 notes

bluegrowlmon · 5 years

Note

hoping this might take yr mind off some of the anxiety so, what do u think other smt protags (besides demi obvs nd u kno who) wud look like as fiends?

Thank you Demi You know just what to say to snap me out of a slump

Idk if this will answer your question satisfactorily but itll be. Something. Ive thought about this too much too often. Just a lot of rambling. (Wont go into Nanashi bc he already kind of is one? A demi-demi fiend)

For consistency’s sake in this im defining a fiend as some kind of human demon fusion.

Im sorry this took so long

Kazuya – kazuya my man my treasure. I’ve thought about this a lot, so I’ll use this as a chance to link up to my ‘demon from the start’ AU. In the opening of smt 1 kazuya and yuji are taken to a hospital where weird experiments are being conducted. They both break out in like 2 minutes and leave but I kinda thought ‘hey what if they didn’t break out in time and went through terrible demon fusion experiments?’

Ive got 2 cohabitating versions in my head. So version 1, He kind of looks like an electronic ghost? Idk if you remember when I talked about this 500 years ago. Grey, barely visible, fuzzy around the edges, when he does talk its like someone talking through a broken radio. Idk sort of like the idea of someone isolated getting lost in computers and technology but on a literal level. Makes doing anything pretty difficult but on the upside maybe if someone else wears the comp he can, possess it? I just made him rotom dangit

Version 2 is just straight up monster version, sort of like I wrote him in that one fic where he got cursed but more, werewolf-y, scraggly hair, maybe spikes on his back and filmed over eyes, sort of all white like the alexander nina chimera in fma? A lot of this demon form I made to parallel that chimera actually, not in terms of body shape (kazuya can still stand and wear clothes) but the unnerving factor, the inherent wrongness and fear it inspired in others.

a very unhappy pained werewolf, bc the thing I would (will? If I write it) is that the fusion was done improperly, so its not as seamless as takeshi’s fusion was. Kazuya hands are more claw than hand, so using the comp is more difficult, but even more pressing is that the fusion screwed up his throat, so demon negotiation is hard, and its that much harder to explain who he is to a future full of very anxious trigger happy humans who probably wouldn’t listen to him at the best of times.

Flynn – For some reason I always associate Flynn with birds? Mostly diurnal raptors, ever since I first started playing smt iv in 2016. I have no idea why.

I think Flynn kind of has a canon fiend, or at least semi-divine form when he fused with Vishnu in smt iv a? but this is where I put my bad thoughts so disregarding that

Ive had this dumb idea for a long time (pre-smt iv a) of Flynn being like a bird-demon type fusion, with talons, sharp fingernails, maybe some patches of softer short feathers on his arms and legs, and wings (idk from what, prob red-tailed hawk). Idk how it’d happen, I thought some kind of curse, he’s probably pissed off enough deities to warrant it. theyre big enough to let him fly, if he ever tried

In his case the change is noticeable but almost entirely hide-able. So for Flynn, in a neutral route that depends on so much on what outsiders think about you, he has to get through while hiding his new demonic nature from Hunters and people in Tokyo in general (also the samurai too probably) who’d turn on him if they knew what he was. So doing every mission, working himself to the bone endlessly with his nails constantly filed short and wings tied down tightly until the pain almost makes him sick. Fun!

DS1 (these headings have no consistence) – ds1 kazuya has a fairly canon demon version I think, but ill throw down my hc anyway – King of Demons route he can usually make himself look how he wants, but default he’s got horns, bat wings, fangs, and keeps the cape I see him in sometimes. I think it suits him. If he hugs someone (Atsuro) he uses his wings too without thinking, so it’s a very warm all-enveloping hug

Ds2 – if Hibiki goes alcor route, I think his outward appearance would kind of change to reflect his new nature. To other humans he mostly looks the same, but sometimes in stressed moments/pre-battle his eyes turn totally blue like Leo Watch’s in Kekkai Sensen. Hibiki’s battle form (the way alcor turns into a giant cube) looks like a white glowing abstract rabbit (like the rabbit on the moon get it?)

Smt if – this is vague bc I only played 30 minutes of the game and don’t know anything about it. You know how when you die in the game you get a guardian spirit? HC that the player character is actually a guardian spirit demon possessing the corpse of a student that died in the attack trying to find someone to, guardian over? They look mostly normal, except not, really dying when theyre killed? They just get back up, taking horrible wounds. Only clues about their demons nature are a grey pallor to their skin and red eyes.

Persona - and now the vaguest of all. What would a fiend even look like in persona, in a world that (usually) doesn’t have demons? I have no idea but I like to think if any human fused with a shadow they’d look mostly normal in the real world except for eyes that turn yellow at dramatic moments, and then in whatever alternate world the game has their human skin starts falling off and they take increasingly abstract and freaky shapes depending on whatever emotional turmoil/teen angst they’re going through. (also slightly ties into a hc for that fic i will also never write where philemon and myarly reincarnate as humans)

Im sorry for all of this

#smt #ask #i hope this was what you meant?#Anonymous

0 notes

yumenosakiacademy · 5 years

Text

metr0con 2019 friday diary

Cosplayed/breakfast/snack: same as thursday diary

For future me only. preferred that you dont read this, thanks.

Okay so we arrived at like, 10:23 or abt that time so i had some time before my first panel so i just kinda walked around. i dont think anything happened around that time, sorry. my memory of today is a lil bit hazy at parts. but while on the escalator, i looked over at registration n saw creeper print and a yellow crown n the person rly looked like king gavin n i openly Gasped but i couldnt get to them obviously but i was like gjhnsmjgh hh.

then, i went to the yoi panel! uhm.. not much to comment on for this panel, sorry. there was a viktor, yuri, and yurio! i remember there was a personality swap ask and for part of the panel, they all had switched jackets because of a dare.

next was the oh-shc panel! the honey was rly cute n gave a lot of hugs to a lot of the audience members n they were such sute hugs gjhnsm.. like the ones where u semi-leap at a person n hug em w slight movement it was so cute. kyoya said his entire budget book he brought was all for tamaki’s expenses and tamaki proposed to haruhi as a dare but earlier in the panel he was imagining outloud him n haruhi’s wedding gjhnsm

after that, i couldve went to the grav!ity falls panel or the bn-ha one, but since the bn-ha one was in the same room as the previous two, i just decided to stay in my seat for that one. the todoroki n kirishima came in late w starbucks which todoroki says was paid for by endeavor bc he had his dad’s credit card n he actually gave out 2 fake paper credit cards to ppl. aizawa got asked what the dumbest thing he’s gotten asked by one of his students n he said it was “whats your quirk, aizawa?” n todoroki said “it’s not ‘is mayonaise an instrument’? then there was other stuff n they played Sentences and i suggested the scenario “furry convention” after someone suggested todoroki and izuku. ALSO!!! i won the raffle for a bn-ha poster! it was drawn by the uraraka that was one of the panelists n it looks so good ;w; dunno where im gonna put it.. but as my first fanmade print (that’s not my hs wall scroll, which was officially licensed), ill cherish it.

after that i had time to walk! i saw a bunch of id0lish cosplayers! the id0lish7 ones in the dream journey outfits n the 2 trigger members i saw were in similar outfits? i forgot the name for them. anyway! i saw a gentaro n took their pic n they were like “i hav a dice n ramuda somewhere around here.. we’re fl!ng posse” so i wndered around the dealers room n eventually found the dice n ramuda together n took their pic too! thn i kept wanderin n i!! found the king gavin n i was like “are you cosplaying king gavin” n they were like “yea!” n i was!! so happy!!! n they turned to their friend n they were like “see you shouldve stayed in costume! [turns 2 me] they were mad k!ng ryan up until a lil while ago; they changed” but anyway i took their pic n they were talking abt how it feels kinda odd to come to terms w the fact theyre cosplaying minecraft n how they saw a minecraft person earlier n thought abt talking to them but it’s different bc it’s ach!evement hunter so they dont kno the full picture. i saw a corrin w arei button!! which was exciting. also met a nico who said they were gonna b arashi that day but didnt wanna contour but theyre gonna b her tomorrow!! DURING THIS TIME i also saw an adachi body pillow at an artist’s booth n im.. gjhnskm....... i wanted it...... i later found out it was $60 tho so. ;w; i met a sougo n tamaki n i asked if i could take their pic n they said yea, just give em a sec, n the sougo was like “r u cosplayin tsukasa??” n i said yep n they were like do u wanna b in our mv?” n i thought it was a whole event thing n i was like “oh. id hav to check my schedule i might b busy but” n they were talking abt how we (me, the luka next to them, n the kaito next to luka) would just do like steps to the side by following sougos lead n i was confused n repeated myself but the sougo was like “oh, no no it’s right now” n so i did that w them while the tamaki filmed n unfortunately i 4got to ask their instagrams so idk where the vid is but w/e. the sougo told me abt an id0lish meetup at 5 pm, too, out on the docks.

the h!veswap panel was p funny! an eridan n feferi in the audience were also entertaining, esp during the improve games. i remember someone asked lanque “what r ur fashion tips?” n lanque was like “...Dont Bother” n joey was confused by troll stuff n i asked daraya what her fav punk band was n she was like “we only listen to the grubbles. have u heard em?” n i was like “i.. actually havent heard the full album yet so i guess not?” but as im typing this i think i actually have?/ oops. anyway a lot happened but it’s rly hate so im gonna.... move on. im typing this paragraph last bc i 4got to type it lmao.

a ruby and dia complimented my nails! then i saw a doppo!! they were apparently the reo i took a pic of yesterday. they said their jakurai was still getting ready.

i tried to go to the grav!ty falls party but it was just one girl as mabel making the audience do games for prizes that were rly boring like decoding n stuff so i left after abt 15 minutes n went walking again. i had 2 hrs to walk now.

i went downstairs after walkina round the dealers room n there was!! a bloody banquet rei and koga!!! they were so pretty.. i was intimidated kinda but i managed to approach them n we talked abt rei’s rei itabag n koga’s goro itabag n rei said they once spent $150 dollars in rei merch in one sitting on yahoo auctions whoa. they were rly cool tho! we talked for a few minutes. later, i also saw another hypm!c group of MTR + ramuda n took their pics n the ramuda was like “ur sign omg. wait r u tsukasa??” n i said yep n we got excited abt ES n the jakurai told me theres an ES meetup tomorrow at 1 pm!! unfortunately, i hav a panel (2, actually, but i can only choose 1) that is at that time so idk if ill go... esp since it’ll prob only b a few ppl n im not the type of person to make friends anyway, yknow? ....anyway! the hifumi game me a lil clear heart tin w tiny fake yellow flowers n a piece of paper that said: “thank u, prince/princess! -hifumi [doodle of 2 champagne glasses]” n thats.. so cute. i gave them a lollipop in return. little while later, met another jakurai! i think we also talked abt ens-tars!! cant remember a lot of it tho gomen. then a lil while later, i saw the kakeru cosplayer i had heard abt on twitter! they were manning an art booth. i was like “are you cosplaying kakeru?” n they were like “yea!” n i took their pic n i was like “i didnt think id rly find k!npri cosplayers here aa” n the kakeru went “FINALLY i can use one of these!” n handed me a lil kakeru sticker they drew n i was like “his fumb bg pink jacket.. it makes him look like a Shrimp” n we both laughed n they showed me the k!npri stuff on their table n a joji on the other side of their display that looked like he was behind bars bc the display thingy and a jin hanging from one of the bars. they (the kakeru n the person they were with) were like “we kept seeing you walk by w ur sign n we were like ‘i hope they find leo!’” (both days, bc the other person asked if i was tsukasa yesterday) n i showed them my yug!oh card that’s an obscure reference to a tsukasa cg! n i talked to them a lil bit abt ens-tars but i cant remember a lot gahh!! and while i was standing there, a honoka came up and asked for my photo n i was like “ANOTHER ES FAN??” n i talked to them for a sec n forgot to put up my prop for the photo at first gjhnsm but that was cool!! oh, the honoka also asked me if i liked anzu n i was like “she’s super cute in the anime”

after that i tried to go to the fru!ts basket panel but im only 6 eps in the remake anime n they had almost all the characters n i didnt understand a lot of the questions bc i hadnt seen much of the show so.. then after only a few minutes of q+a they started up trivis so i left n just walked around the dealers room. it was during this time that my crown fell off (SECOND DAY IN A ROW) n i searched the whole dealers room but couldnt find it?? ghh..

ANYWAY i found another ramuda w a jakurai n the ramuda liked my sign too n they were like “ur tsukasa!” n i went yep n they saw the buttons ns tuff on my bag n all my keychains n they were like ‘oh, sry” n i was like “no no, it’s okay, u can go thru all the keychains on my backpack i hav A Lot” n i pointed out chiaki as my best boy n mika as my 2nd fav n they said they cosplay hakaze. at some point, i played drops on my flip phone i think bc ramuda was saying smth pertaining to drops?? mayb not. but i played it n jakurai was like “oh god i hav to hear it hre too..” (in-character, i think) n i spotted another ramud in the distand n asked them to wtch my stuff while i took the ramudas pic so i went over n the person next to them had an arashi plush!e n we both squealed (i think. i did tho, Loudly.)

after this i just wandered n i danced on the dance floor! chacha slide, cupid shuffle, n time warp iirc! def time warp tho. also to some 80s song n some guy not in cosplay spun me around nt ried to swing dance we me but he was completely leading it n i didnt kno what to do!! after that i saw a tumblr/con friend while on my way to the yoi panel!!

then the yoi panel was actually p funny! a lot of questions abt yurio’s parents being viktor and yuri and yuri n viktor slowdanced to an edd sheeran song n otabek showed off their muscles (like, flexed their arms in their tank top) n yuri kept dramatically thwipping open their rainbow fan esp in responses to gay asks. at one point, someone asked abt yaois n a mom who was attending w their preteen or teen child was like “whats yaoi?” n the ppl behind her were like “i dont wanna b the one to do this..” n ppl told the mom n the mom to their teen/preteen kid was like “what are u watching? where? is it okay? is it on tv?” n the kid was responding to ehr questions but i couldnt hear them gjhnsm. yurio did a dance to a song n after that, we all danced to cupid shuffle n wobble n then i stopped but others did the time warp too. oh! also i answered a trivia question right (”who’s yuri’s best friend?” “pichit”) and got an utapr! keychain/strap! it’s reiji in a glitter thing. none of the other stuff there aside from some yoi straps was my fandoms so i saw utapr! n went for it.

then the bnh-a pj party! ...uh. the original panelists never showed up so random bn-ha cosplayers (and their non-cn.ha-cosplaying friends) tred to host the panel but everythign was hectic and loud n unfocused n a wreck but i noticed a ramuda n a hifumi i hadnt taken a pic of yet in the corner of the room (there were no chairs) so i eventually got annoyed/bored n went over to ask for a pic but ended up asking to sit w them (i walked over, put my sign down, n went “i said Fuck leo rights n higumi was like “that chara is familiar..” n i said leo from ES n they were like “oh i watched p 1 of that” n i was like “ep 2, this unday. stan ryuseitai”) n i ended up talking to them abt hypm!c n cosplay stuff n i talked a bit abt ens-tars and we all agreed that stella n papillion Slap on the new album. n ramuda said they were cosplaying as a prom!sed neverland haracter tomorrow n recommended it to me n i was like “oh im watching fru!ts basket rn tho” n the hifumi said they were too n the ramuda was like “do u kno the horse one in fru!ts basket? My Horse Boyfriend....” (the game. i think that was the name) so i showed them the hypm!c ask blog where they draw some of the charcaters as horses n the other characters as cowboys n the ramuda showed me the pics that r on their swear jar (photshopped pics of kinako w long legs in stockings+heels) n id0lish memes n it was all chill!! i played drops for them on my phone too. someone came over n went “if u can type w those nails, ur a god[dess]” n i said i could w Only my nails n they said i was like a god[dess] hehe. the higumi said they should make a tumblr n i heard them muttering “should i put 14 on here?” n ramuda went “well i mean, you Are 14-” n i went “ur 14?” n they nodded n i asked the ramuda how old They were n they said 14 n i was like “oh my god.. yallre babies..... gjhnsmk im 18.” n the ramuda crawled back a bit n they were like “18??” n the hifumi was like “u look so young tho whoa! rly?” n i was like “yea i look p young.. ive been compared to a freshman b4..... n yea i graduated like 2 months ago” n the hifumi was like “congratulations :o”

#A LOT MORE COULD HAV BEEN SPOKEN ABT BUT IT'S LATE N I AHV 2 GET UP EARLY OKAY #con diary

0 notes