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#you’d think he wouldn’t be that person because his personality is so sarcastic and a little like mean/teasing in like sweet way
enluv · 11 months
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having a friend that you can go to and they can automatically make your day better is so refreshing and i hope everyone finds that person for them because they’re an essential person in life
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lovebugism · 2 months
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I love your writing <3 I saw “he so likes her” on the enemies to lovers but I so saw it pairing with the “me? I wouldn’t say I was flirting.” On the denial of feelings list. Eddie absolutely oblivious to the heart eyes he’s making as he pulls his hair in front of his face while chatting together
ty angel! hope you like it :D — eddie munson visits you at work every day, but not because he likes you (enemies to lovers-ish, fluff, 1.1k)
You hear Eddie before you see him. The clinking of his silver rings, the swishing of his leather jacket, the thudding of his worn sneakers. His musky cologne swaddles you in a cloud of his subtle scent before he’s even there. You’re smiling about it all before you mean to.
Crouched in the X-rated section of Family Video, you restock the vulgar printed tapes and glance up at the boy towering over you. Eddie’s smiling, too — perhaps bigger than he realizes.
“Don’t tell me you came all this way to keep me company, Munson,” you tease with narrowed eyes.
“No,” the boy scoffs, a little less than convincing. He props his shoulder against the metal shelf and crosses his arms over his chest. “I have much better things to do with my Friday nights. Trust me.”
Your knees creak in protest when you rise to stand before him. You cross your arms to resemble his stance and try to be normal about your forearms brushing his. “Do you?” you lilt, obviously sarcastic.
“Yeah,” he nods with a crooked smile on his pretty pink mouth. “I could give you their names.”
“Spare me,” you scoff, rolling your eyes and spinning on your heel. Eddie follows you like a lost puppy to the front counter. “You know, if you’re gonna flirt with me, maybe try not to mention other girls. I think that’s, like, rule number one.”
Eddie’s face swirls at your words. The cartoonish look of confusion makes you smile as you round the checkout station. He forces a chuckle and props his elbows on the countertop, leaning over it in a desperate attempt to be closer to you.
“There are no—” he starts, then cuts himself off. There are no other girls, he’d say if he weren’t a total coward. But, for the sake of keeping his cards to his chest, he settles on, “—I’m not flirting with you.”
Your brow arches in a playful look of inquiry. “No?”
Eddie almost caves, then. It’s almost like you want him to say yes — to admit that he’s been flirting with you this whole time because he’s loved you since the moment he met you. It would be the truth, anyway. One that he’s spent over a year shying from.
“No,” he echoes and shakes his wild head, surprising himself with his own self-control. “No, I’m— We’re just— We’re having a conversation. ‘Cause, you know, we’re friends. I guess.”
His face scrunches like there’s something sour on his tongue. He doesn’t even like the taste of his own words. 
You squint. “Do all of your friendly conversations typically include making heart eyes at the other person?” you joke with a poorly held-back grin.
Eddie falters for a moment, knowing he’s long been found out. He decides to lie anyway. Dig the hole deeper, as it were. “Yeah, actually,” he nods. “You’ve seen the way I look at Steve, haven’t you?”
You laugh before you mean to. The sunshine sound sputters up your throat and out of your mouth before you can stop it. Eddie must not realize how he often looks at Steve The Hair Harrington — with softly squinted eyes and gently furrowed brows — like he can never quite understand what the fuck the boy is talking about. 
“Right,” you nod, still giggling.
Eddie smiles at the pretty sound. The spearmint breath of your laughter fans across his cheek at the close proximity — one which neither of you seems eager to part from. “Yeah, so… Don’t let it go to your head, alright? There’s no flirting here.”
So you drove twenty minutes across town in a half-broken-down van to have a serious conversation? you’d ask if you felt like going around in circles.
Instead, you just nod. “Noted...”
“Now, tell me,” he starts, tilting his pretty head until his curls bunch at his shoulder. “What should me and my number of escapades watch for the evening? You know, as the resident expert and all?”
You laugh at the absurdity of his question. “I don’t know. Just— choose something,” you murmur unenthusiastically.
“I want you to choose for me,” he pouts.
“Why?” you retort, leaning against the counter to lessen the cavernous distance. 
The sudden closeness has a very obvious effect on the boy across from you. His adam’s apple bobs as his tongue darts across his bottom lip. You’re close enough to kiss now. He can almost taste you.
“So you can play it as background noise and think of me while you and this very fictitious person make out on your couch?”
“Well… I’ll probably be thinking about you either way, so…” Eddie answers when his senses return to him, shrugging with a stupid, lopsided grin. “Whether you recommend something or not doesn’t really matter.”
The look he gives you makes your stomach whirl. His eyes, made of melted chocolate, get all squishy at the edges when he looks at you. Something warm and fond swims in his gaze, speckles along his flushed cheeks, and sparkles in his smile. It’s so stupidly sincere for a boy who can’t seem to take anything seriously. The notion all but stabs you in the chest.
“You’re doing it again, you know?” you tease.
His fluffy brows pinch together. “Doing what?”
“The heart eyes thing.”
“There is no thing!” he insists with a loud, boyish laugh. “I’m just— I’m just looking at you! Is that a crime?”
“Just sayin’,” you singsong with an absentminded shrug.
Your gaze glimmers with knowing and something close to adoration as it flits up and down his form. Eddie squirms beneath your prying eyes. His ringed hands rise to his hair, gathering the untamed curls and hiding his blushing face behind them. 
“Here,” he mumbles behind his palms and chestnut locks. “Is this better for you?”
You giggle at his antics, slightly grieving his pretty face. “Much,” you nod despite yourself.
Steve and Robin watch the strange encounter from afar. They peer over the Action/Adventure aisle they’re supposed to be restocking — equal parts distracted and nosey. The boy’s scruffy face twists as he watches Eddie try hopelessly to flirt with you. “This is disgusting,” he murmurs under his breath.
“Do you think he knows?” Robin laughs, deep and gritty, as she stands on the tips of her toes to see over the metal shelf.
“Knows what?”
“That he’s obsessed with her?”
“Hell no! Look at him—” Steve scoffs, jutting his chin to the wild-haired boy across the room. 
Eddie’s got his rings all tangled in his hair now. His cheeks glow red as you help unknot the silver jewelry from his curls. He’s visibly embarrassed, but he can’t stop beaming at you. It’s borderline gag-worthy.
“—He’s got no fucking clue.”
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pandorxxx · 11 months
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Another man’s treasure
Neteyam x omatikayan fem reader (all aged up)
Warnings: cursing, oral (reader receiving), p in v, multiple orgasms, neteyam having a size kink, neteyam being “Mr. Steal yo girl” kinda, creampie, marking, scenting.
Listen to Mr. Steal yo girl by Trey Songz for the best experience 😊
Synopsis: You wanted lo’ak, and it was no secret. However, you were scared to talk to him. When you went to Neteyam for help, he made it known that lo’ak wouldn’t be interested in you because of your abnormal (among navi) size. But you soon realized, that what one brother didn’t like, the other one loved…
🔞mdni🔞
“Cant you find something else to do? I don’t have time for this today.” Neteyam chuckled, pushing leaves out of his path as he went to fulfill his duties. This was becoming an everyday thing almost. You’d follow Neteyam into the forest as he did his daily chores just to bug him about the same old shit.
You had a huge crush on lo’ak, and since you and Neteyam were…somewhat friends, you decided that the only way to get in good with lo’ak was with the help of Neteyam. Although he wasn’t much help.
“Neteyam come onnnn. I’ll leave you alone if you talk to lo’ak for me.” You whined, running behind him to keep up with his long strides. You were alittle younger than both of them, but that didn’t stop you from trying. Also, you were alittle smaller than the average female Navi, so you got made fun of sometimes. But you had a “Fuck you” mentality when it came to bullies, you couldn’t care less.
“Why don’t you talk to him, huh? Why are you bugging me about it? I’ve got shit to do y/n.” He spoke calmly, making sure to hold the leaves down for you to walk through. He was such a gentlemen without even trying.
“You know him better than I do. I just figured you could help me out…TEYAM!” You shouted his name, making him halt in his tracks with an irritated sigh. He turn to you, walking alittle closer.
“Y/n please. I don’t have time to get in the middle of this shit. And plus, I personally don’t think that lo’ak would go for this.” Neteyam confessed.
“And why do you think that? I’m pretty, no?” You asked with a hint of aggression, eyebrow cocked as you awaited an answer. He chuckled, crossing his arms.
“You’re very pretty. But you know that’s not what I meant.” He shook his head. Your eyes narrowed, picking up on what he was insinuating.
“Well what DID you mean, Neteyam?” You asked, anger radiating off of your skin. He eyed your small frame up and down in curiosity.
“Fuck, don’t make me say it. It’s very obvious.” He ran his hand through his braids with a loud chuckle. You were now visibly angry, tail swaying high in defense as you clutched your bow. Although you were smaller, you were one of the best warriors here. Some would even say better than the mighty warrior himself, so he knew you meant business.
With a loud sigh, he finally fessed up. “Y/n…you’re tiny as fuck.” He nodded with a sarcastic grin.
“Neteyam, what does that have to do with anything? Huh?” You asked with heavy aggression, shifting your body weight to one hip.
“If I were lo’ak. I wouldn’t even wanna touch you. Might break your little ass.” He joked, however you didn’t find it funny whatsoever.
“Fuck you. I can take any male in this clan, you and lo’ak INCLUDED. Size means NOTHING!” You snapped, poking his chest angrily as you peered up at him. He let out a loud laugh, placing his large hands on your shoulders.
“I promise you, and I mean this in the most humble way possible. You cannot take me, y/n.” He spoke passive aggressively, his tone becoming alittle serious.
“Neteyam, check my fucking stats. I’d have you crying when I’m done.” You growled, smacking his hands off of your shoulders. It was no secret that you’d been with other males before, what girl hadn’t? Though small, you knew exactly how to please a man. And men just like Neteyam would underestimate you all the time…until they got their feel.
“Oh y/n, please. I’ve heard about you, trust me. But I’m a REAL man. Those little boys you’ve been with have NOTHING on me. You hear me? NOTHING!” He growled, jaw clenching in restraint. You laughed in his face, taking a step back to scan his body from head to toe.
“Oh, ok there big boy. Calm down. Did lil ole’ me get under the mighty warriors skin?” You mocked. Neteyam was a man of great restraint, but you were really pressing his buttons today. He let out a deep sigh, before chuckling to himself.
“Don’t make me ruin you for lo’ak.” Was all he said, in that deep tone of his. The one that meant business. The one that created a pool of your own slick in your loincloth. The one that made you shift back and forth experimentally, trying to find some sort of friction.
“A lot of open ended sentences today. Tell me what that’s supposed to mean.” You commanded, arms crossed as you took a step forward.
“You know what it means, don’t act so innocent y/n. And DONT challenge me. I’ll snap you like a twig.” He trailed off, eyeing you up and down. You laughed in his face again, at his sudden sexual advances. It was always lo’ak for you, but Neteyam was just as hot, if not hotter. He was stronger, taller, sexier, and a lot more mature.
“So do it. You have nothing but space and opportunity to show me. If I’m being honest, this sounds like a bunch of bs. I can’t take you seriously in this light, Neteyam. You’re always so uptight.” You teased, hoping that it would make him angry enough to take you, right here…right now. But he quickly caught on to your antics. He stepped closer, until your plump breast met his stomach. Peering down at you with a crooked grin.
“Oh, I don’t know y/n. You’re too small to ride this ride. I don’t wanna hurt you. You’re better off finding lo’ak. He’s more your speed.” He nodded.
“But the things I’d do to you…it’s unspeakable.” He whispered, running his large hand down your torso, all the way to the band of your loincloth. You bit your lip, directing your attention to the scene.
“Tell me about it, I’m all ears.” You spoke sensually, eyes meeting his once again. “Well first…I’d rip this fucking loincloth off of your hips.” He spoke, simultaneously ripping your cloth off. You gasped, finding your balance again from the unexpected force.
“Then…I’d turn you around, and bend you over.” He spoke. His tone low and full of lust as he spun you around, bending you over into a 90 degree angle. Your hands immediately finding refuge on the bark of the tree infront of you. You let out a little giggle as you turned your head to look back at him, waiting for his next move.
“Mmmhm.” he groaned, smacking your ass as he watched your arousal leak out of you like a stream. You let out a small whimper at the impact, so desperate for more.
He kneeled down behind you, coming face to face with your dripping cunt. He licked his lips before diving in. His calloused hands holding your cheeks opened as he devoured you whole.
“G-God, Neteyam!” You whimpered, digging your nails into the bark. He didn’t say anything else to you, didn’t even bother coming up for air. All you could hear was nasally gulps, and squelching sounds followed by low hums of satisfaction from him.
You could feel his tongue flicking, sucking, and gnawing on your sensitive clit before licking all the way up to your ass, giving it a small peck. And then he would go back to work on you. Your legs were starting to shake as your whines increased in volume.
“I-Im sooo close.” You spoke in exhaustion from holding yourself up. He hummed in response, wiggling his head as you used the flat of his tongue to taste you completely. This in turn, sending you over the edge. Without much warning, you released into his mouth. You tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but his strong hands held you in place as he lapped up your juices. All of your essence dripping down his jaw and neck.
“This pussy tastes like heaven, baby.” He chuckled, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before standing to his full height behind you.
“I want you to stay juuust like this for me. Think you can do that?” He asked as he untied his loincloth from around his his gently. You nodded in response, feeling his tip graze past your slit on the way up to slap his stomach.
He grabbed his cock, using the tip to play with your clit. “Mmm…” You hum, leaning your cheek against the bark as you watched him with desperate eyes.
With little to no warning, just a devilish smirk, he slide into you slowly. His cock was stretching you out more than you’d ever been, yet it felt like the perfect fit once he bottomed out. You let out a series of loud whimpers once you felt his tip probing at your cervix. That was a feeling you’d never had before.
“I know, baby. I know…” he moaned, thrusting into you slowly to get you used to his size. His large hands trailed all the way up your back, giving it a light rub before finding their way to the back of your neck.
“You’re s-sooo big!” You whined, knuckles turning white from the grip you had on the bark infront of you. He didn’t know what it was about your cries that turned him on so much. Maybe it was the fact that you were a tough girl, and seeing you so helpless at the hands of him made his head spin.
And as much as he loved to make fun of how small you were, he secretly loved it. The comparison of you to him had him aroused from the start. He was a relatively big guy, very strong, and muscular from his endless training. And although you were a warrior too, you simply didn’t look like one. You were very fragile…delicate to him. And he loved that he could have his way with you.
“Mhm, keep talking.” He growled, now picking up the pace. His warm sack smacking against your sensitive clit, creating the right amount of friction. On top of the constant pounding to your sweet-spot. You couldn’t even form a complete thought at this point. The pleasure was consuming you. And at that point, you realized that you’d never had sex like this. Neteyam had proven to you why he was the better choice.
“I-I can’t even….I-I d-don’t- FUUUCK!” You rambled. So flustered that you couldn’t even form a coherent sentence. He let out a breathily chuckle, rutting into you like he’d never see you again.
“Ok! ok! ok! I-I can’t take this shit. y-you’re killing me, Teyam!” You whined, eyes rolling to the back of your head. You were on the verge of such an intense orgasm, unlike anything you’d felt before. It was becoming too much for you to handle.
“But you’re so fucking close, baby. I can feel the way you’re squeezing me, sucking me in. I thought you could take me?” He spoke in a condescending tone, the same devilish grin plastered across his face as he watched your plump ass ripple with every thrust.
“I-I can’t take you! I CANT!” You whimpered, tears blurring your vision. He slowed down for you, just alittle, but not nearly as much as you needed. You began to gnaw at the bark in desperation, just trying to find some relief from your incoming orgasm.
“And why can’t you take me? I wanna hear this shit.” He spoke in a low tone, shifting his hands to your hips for more leverage. He began to thrust into you slow and deep, nearly knocking the wind out of you with every stroke.
Oh, how he loved this. He knew why you couldn’t, he just wanted to hear you say it. Hear you tell him how strong, and how big he was. It was an ego boost for him, and to have you completely drunk off of his cock was a huge turn on.
“Mmm t-oooo big. Way t-too big!” You spoke deliriously, legs beginning to shake as that knot in your stomach started to unravel. Your walls clenched around him before releasing your essence. You let out a series of loud moans, just like music to his ears.
“Thaaats right, baby. Cum on this big dick.” He moaned, smacking your ass with his bottom lip in between his teeth. His cock began to twitch Inside of you, signaling that he was about to cum. So instead, he pulled out of you quickly with a loud groan. He held your hips in place so that you wouldn’t fall as he caught his breath.
“Fuck.” He whispered under his breath. You managed to turn around in his embrace, leaning your back against the bark of the tree lazily.
“Y-You didn’t-“ you began, before he lifted his finger to silence you. “Don’t worry about me. I just wanted to give you alittle taste. I don’t wanna hurt you.” He confessed, planting a soft kiss on your forehead.
“What if I want you to hurt me?” You spat, bringing him flush to you by his hips. He cocked an eyebrow in confusion, but mostly curiosity.
“Give me your all, Neteyam. Give me everything, please. Even if we have to go at it all fucking night. I want more than a taste.” You spoke sensually, wrapping your arms around his waist before planting a kiss on his chest.
“Fuck, don’t talk like that. Please.” He chuckled, rubbing your arms lovingly as he stared down into your desperate eyes.
“And what about lo’ak, huh? I thought you had a thing for him an hour ago.” He asked playfully, already knowing that lo’ak was the farthest thing from your mind at this point.
“I want you now. Is that a crime?” You asked, not even letting him answer the question before you stood on your tippy toes, engaging in a passionate kiss with him. His hand found the back of your head, gripping your hair to deepen the kiss. The other hand snaking around to lift you up, pinning you to the tree behind you. You immediately wrapped your legs around his waist, and your arms around his neck.
“Mmm, take this off.” He spoke between kisses, referring to your top. You backed away from him slightly, leaning all the way back on the bark. He watched you intently, as you began to untie your revealing top. It popped open with the last knot, revealing your plump breasts. And just like a man, he licked his lips as his eyes locked to your chest.
“Fuuuck me.” He groaned before attacking your nipples. Gently gnawing at them to create love bites, and running his warm tongue around your areola. He nuzzled his head in your chest with low groans of satisfaction as he scented you. Everyone would know who you belonged to from here on out.
Without warning, he lifted you up by your ass, and slammed you down on his cock. You both moaning in unison. He immediately set a merciless rhythm, impaling you over and over again roughly.
“Oh great mother, yessss!” You praised, squeezing your eyes shut as your voice rippled through the forest due to his unbearable pace.
“Mmm, keep screaming like that.” He demanded, thrusting into you harder, knocking the air out of your lungs with every stroke. There wasn’t much else you could say, you were completely silenced.
“I-I..” you stuttered, eyes rolling to the back of your head. You let your head find refuge on the bark behind you, revealing your unscathed neck to Neteyam…big mistake for such a territorial male like himself.
He bent down to your neck, taking a deep breath before flashing his fangs. He grazed your skin, sending shivers down your spine. Without anymore hesitation, he bit down on your neck gently. Still hard enough to leave a mark.
“Oh my-“ you started, your head going completely limp on the bark behind you. You could feel another orgasm building deep in your stomach.
“B-Baby, Im so close. Sooo so close!” He moaned, watching your breast bounce from his hard thrusts. He was slowly loosing it, and he couldn’t contain himself much longer. He could feel his stomach muscles tense repeatedly, which is something that’s never happened to him. Beads of sweat began to roll off of his frowned forehead. His mouth was slightly agape, low whimpers falling from his lips. And at that moment, he realized he’d never had sex like this.
“FUCK!” He growled, his hand slapping against the bark behind you as he bounced you on his cock quickly.
“Give it to me, pleaseeee!” You screamed, wrapping your arms around his neck tightly, leaning your head on his shoulder. Your body began to tremble in his arms as your toes curled. You couldn’t hold it anymore. Your peak was nearing quickly.
“Ladies first. Cum on this dick again, baby.” He whispered in your ear, kissing the lobe gently. The act alone sending you over the edge. Your eyes rolled back, jaw slack as you released on him for the second time. Loud squelching sounds filling the forest as his cream coated cock slid in and out of you. He could feel your walls contracting around him, and he just couldn’t hold it any longer. “Ohhh, shit! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He chanted, releasing his seed deep into your empty womb with a loud groan.
“Don’t be sorry, I-I wanted it. Juuust like that!” You whined, rolling your hips into his to bury his seed deeper into your tight cunt. You both took a few minutes to catch your breaths before he pulled out slowly.
“Mmmhm…” He hummed, watching his excess cum drip to the ground beneath you. For a moment, you two stared at each other in awe, completely whipped by one another.
He had his mind made up, and it seemed as though you had changed yours. Neteyam was the only man you wanted from now on….
Taglist: @number1gal @loak-bae @tiredmamaissy @neytirishottie @terrorthewolf @lethargicluv @reyzzsostellar @m0nst3rfk3r @agelsully @jakescumdump @wekiamo @st-cass @cleardonutangelwagon @tsireqas @satanlovedays @afro-hispwriter @urfavgirlmakenna @fanboyluvr @iameatingmyhair @secretflowerobservation @violet-19999 @xreadersstuff @sweetllamaparadise @lia-nath @sullymenrhot @dotheyevenknowmars @xdbluesky @slay-nt @domino-x3-blog @ladylovegood-69 @itssomeonereading @sweetirilly @skxawngmia @j-jinxee @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @cumikering @pxndorasdream @itsaleidasworld @atxxokirina @yeletta @blueslxt-primary @eywascall @valeriearriana37484 @avatarsslut @bee782916 @atxxokirina @taylormarieee @sweethoneycn @dollyloomis @luvv4j4ybe11
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bookyeom · 4 months
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pairing: s.coups x reader word count: 4.8k warnings: a couple of swears i think, kissing, people being bad friends and treating reader badly :(, a tiny bit of poor self-esteem on reader's end but not much, seungcheol gets a lil mad at one point but it's nothing crazy
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Author's Note: this fic is part of the Thirteen Valentines event, but can be read as a standalone! also, i would suggest listening to the song listed below to get a feel for the vibe of the fic, but it's not necessary.
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pov by ariana grande
i wanna love me the way that you love me for all of my pretty, and all of my ugly too i'd love to see me from your point of view cause nobody ever loved me like you do
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You feel like you’ve been subject to an intervention.
You’d come over to pick up a sweater you’d left at Jeonghan’s, and now you’re sitting on his couch while both him and Soonyoung stare at you, arms crossed. You have the distinct feeling that you’re being judged. 
“You’re here early,” Jeonghan finally says, and you immediately don’t like the tone of his voice. 
“Yeah,” you say, slowly. “Junseok couldn’t make it last minute, so I just came straight here.” You don’t miss the look that passes between Jeonghan and Soonyoung, and you inwardly groan in preparation when you realize what’s about to come.
”Wow, he canceled?” Soonyoung says, sarcastic as ever.
“We’re so surprised,” Jeonghan follows, and you roll your eyes. 
“Things happen,” you try, but your friends don’t even flinch. 
“Yeah, they always seem to happen with him in particular, especially when you guys have plans. Poor guy.” 
“Come on. Stop.”
Jeonghan smacks you on the arm, and you yelp. “He’s such a dick, Y/N. Break up with him.”
“We’re not dating! I’ve told you a million times that we’re just friends.”
“Does the fact that you’re just friends justify how he treats you?” Soonyoung asks, and that hits you, hard. Your shoulders slump, and Soonyoung sits next to you on the couch.
“He’s just forgetful,” you murmur, but even as you say the words, you don’t really believe them yourself. 
“Hoshi is the most scatterbrained person I’ve ever met,” Jeonghan points out, “and even he remembers plans.”
The man in question appears offended for a brief moment, before quickly brightening up at the end of Jeonghan’s statement. “Yeah,” he nods solemnly in agreement. “I sometimes forget my sentences half way through. If I can remember making plans with my friends, so can he.”
You remain silent. You know they’re right, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
“You know who else never cancels on you, at least not without a solid explanation?”
You know where this is going, but you’re definitely going to pretend that you don’t. “Joshua? Seokmin? Love those guys. Truly the most loyal companions and —“
“Seungcheol not only sticks to plans, he also makes them with you first,” Jeonghan continues on, interrupting you, not even batting an eye as he ignores your pouting. 
“And he’d probably rather poke his own eye out than cancel on you,” Hoshi supplies.
“He’s my friend,” you protest weakly. “Do you mean you guys wouldn’t gauge an eye out on my behalf?”
“No,” the two men opposite you answer at the same time, and you sink back into your seat with a huff. 
“DK would,” you mumble.
“Yeah, but — bless his stupid ass — he’d do that for any of us,” Hoshi points out. “Seungcheol, on the other hand, thought it was funny to lock me out of the bathroom when I was hungover and needed to throw up last Saturday morning.” 
“Okay, but Cheol told me that you spilled a bottle of vodka all over his new laptop while you were drunk and tried to cover it up,” you counter. Hoshi opens his mouth to retort, but Jeonghan cuts him off. 
“Last week, he canceled lunch with Mingyu and I just because he didn’t want to get out of bed.”
“He had an exam the night before!” you protest, quickly jumping to Seungcheol’s defense in his absence. “For a really hard class, too! He was telling me about it when he came over to study.” The two men stare back at you pointedly, and you feel your cheeks flush. “What?”
“Nothing,” Jeonghan simply smiles, and it unsettles you. “Just that I’ve known Seungcheol for three years and I’ve never, not even once, seen him willingly study with someone else. He always talks about needing to focus alone.”
You feel a blush creeping up your neck, and try valiantly to hide it with your turtleneck sweater. “Maybe you guys are just annoying.”
“Or maybe he’s in love with you,” Soonyoung pipes up, a wide grin on his face, and you let out a whine. 
“Stop,” you plead as the two of them high-five. 
“You and Seungcheol are so annoying. If we’re talking about good ‘friends’,” Jeonghan puts quotation marks in the air around the word as he says it, “he should be at the top of your list. That man cares about you so much it’s kind of sickening.”
”Are you saying you don't care about me?”
You’re trying to change the subject, and Jeonghan knows it. He glares at you. “We care about you enough to try and knock some sense into you, don’t we?”
“I’m leaving,” you announce, pushing yourself off the sofa, sweater in hand. 
“Hey,” Jeonghan calls out as you pass through the threshold. “Can you take this, too?” He appears a second later as you’re tying your shoes, holding out a pair of socks. You raise an eyebrow in question. “They’re Cheol’s,” he explains. “I can almost guarantee you’re going to see him before I do.”
“How do you know that, Jeonghan?” 
“When are you guys hanging out next?”
You squint at your friend for a moment, before you begrudgingly take the socks from his hand. “Tomorrow morning,” you murmur. You pointedly ignore Jeonghan’s laughter as you all but slam the door behind you. 
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“How was yesterday?”
“Hm?” You hum through a mouthful of food, glancing back up at Seungcheol. 
You’re sitting across from him at your favourite cafe. It had been silent since your food arrived and you’d both shut up to shovel food into your mouths, so you’re surprised when he speaks up. You also have no idea what he’s referring to.
“You hung out with Junseok last night, right?” Seungcheol asks, and you wince.
“Oh,” you manage. “No, we didn’t end up getting together.”
Seungcheol doesn’t hesitate, clicking his tongue as he brings his coffee mug up to his lips. “Asshole.”
“Cheol.”
“What? He’s an asshole.” He sets his coffee down again, elbows on the table as he runs a hand through his hair and asks, “Did he cancel, or did you?”
You look back down at your food. “He did.”
Seungcheol simply nods, crossing his arms as he leans against the back of the booth. You’re reminded again of just how big his arms have gotten lately, and you try to shake the thoughts before your gaze lingers just a bit too long. “Of course he did.”
“He’s trying,” you mumble miserably, knowing it sounds lame, even to yourself. “He’s getting better at following through.”
The man in front of you raises his eyebrows. “Is he?”
“You’re being a dick.”
“I’m just telling the truth.” Seungcheol shrugs. “Why do you even like him?”
“I don’t like him like that anymore,” you mutter. “I haven't for a while. It was a dumb crush, Cheol, you know that. We’re friends now.”
Seungcheol scoffs. “Okay, well, I’m your friend too. And as your friend, I’m telling you – he’s an asshole.”
This time, you don’t offer a rebuttal. You fall silent, pushing the eggs around on your plate. You can feel Seungcheol watching you, and you can practically hear his defenses lowering the longer you stay quiet. Usually, you can keep up with his banter and sass, but you know he can tell that you’re actually upset now. You’re tired of arguing. Deep down, you know he’s right, and you don’t have it in you to meet his gaze.
“Somebody who cares about you wouldn’t do stuff like that, friend or otherwise,” he finally speaks again, his voice softer now. “I know it sucks… but sometimes, it really is that simple.”
“Yeah,” is all you say. 
“Hey.”
You make yourself look at him again, offering him as much of a smile as you can. 
He smiles back, soft. “People care about you, okay?” 
You nod. The longer he looks at you, the more you start to feel that electric current, that low buzzing that seems to take over your entire body whenever Seungcheol is close. Jeonghan’s words linger in the back of your mind as he finally looks away, breaking the tension between the two of you.
That man cares about you so much it’s kind of sickening.
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You hate how downright… silly you feel.
”He promised he’d make it this time,” you sniffle, and Seokmin squeezes you tighter into his side. “He even booked the tickets. Why would you book the tickets and then cancel on the day of?”
“Once a liar, always a liar,” Jeonghan calls out from his kitchen. 
“Once an asshole, always an asshole,” Seungcheol agrees. He’s leaning against the doorframe that separates the kitchen from the living room, and you don’t know why it hurts a little that he hasn’t tried to comfort you at all since you walked in. His comment only serves to upset you more, and you glare at him.
“Are you happy?”
Seungcheol blinks in surprise, turning back to you from where he was watching Jeonghan in the kitchen. “What?”
”Are you happy that you’re right? Do you feel good about it, Cheol?” You can feel Seokmin pat your shoulder comfortingly, but it doesn’t help — you’re annoyed now.
”What are you even talking about, Y/N?”
“You’re right — he’s an asshole. You’re right. You love being right, don’t you?”
The silence is almost palpable. Jeonghan has stopped moving in the kitchen, Seokmin is frozen next to you, and you can cut the tension in the room with a knife. Seokmin slowly moves to stand up, heading into the kitchen with Jeonghan, leaving the two of you alone.
“It’s not about being right,” Seungcheol finally says, and you avoid his gaze when he joins you on the couch. “All I care about is the fact that he should treat you better.”
Seungcheol’s tone leaves no room for argument, and you can feel your shoulders sag. You know that he’s right — and you hate it. 
“I know,” you admit, and all of your misplaced anger drains from you in seconds. “I know he should,” you repeat, feeling your remaining defenses start to crumble. “So why won’t he?” 
You say the last words so quietly that you’re surprised anyone hears you, but you know that at least Seungcheol has when his shoulders fall. You hear him inhale a breath, but you speak again before he gets a chance to say anything.
“I just don’t understand why I’m not worth the effort.” You can hear your voice crack, followed by silence, and then — you break. The tears are falling before you can stop them. You feel the couch shift as Seungcheol turns. Whatever hesitation he’d had about comforting you before seems to ease up as his hand finds your knee and gives it a gentle squeeze. You’re grateful, but you still can’t look at him.
“What about the people who do treat you well?” His tone is softer now, but you can tell he’s still upset by the tone of his voice. You don’t have a chance to answer before he speaks again. “I could tell you a million times how great I think you are, I could make a thousand plans to hang out, I could go on and on about how much I like being around you… but nothing will change until you figure out a way to believe me. I—“ He clears his throat. “We— care about you so much. All of us. We should be the people that matter.”
“But what did I do wrong? With him?”
Seungcheol’s hand on your thigh is gone in a flash. He stands up, and you miss his warmth immediately. “I don’t know what else to say,” he says, voice low. He’s angry, you can tell, but he would never admit to it. 
You want to apologize, desperate to bring him back to you, but you’re frozen. 
“I’m going to head out.” He doesn’t say anything more, doesn’t look back at you. Jeonghan and Seokmin appear from the kitchen, but no one says anything except for a ‘drive safe’, and then he’s gone.
It’s silent for a moment, and then you say, “I fucked up.”
To your surprise, Jeonghan doesn’t scold or tease you. He doesn’t even agree. Seokmin disappears back into the kitchen to tend to the food Jeonghan was cooking, but Jeonghan himself joins you on the couch with a sigh.
“Listen,” Jeonghan starts. “You and I are similar — we always tend to focus on the people that don’t care. We want to be loved, so when someone doesn’t put in as much effort as us, we feel like we have to figure out why. We want to know what we did wrong, even though we didn’t do anything wrong at all. We forget that there are tons of people that love us a lot already. I love you, for example.” Jeonghan pinches your thigh affectionately, before he juts his thumb in the direction of your front door. ”Or what about that guy? The one who just left my apartment, pissed, because you let someone make you question your worth? He cares about you without thinking twice. For him, it’s effortless. You’re worth it, and you’ve never had to prove that to us. You just are, and always have been.”
You’re officially crying now. You know you’ve really upset Seungcheol, and you know your friends are all right. You know it, you know they love you and you love them, but why don’t you believe that you deserve it?
“I should go home,” you say softly, but your hand squeezes Jeonghan’s in acknowledgement, in a quiet thanks.
“I won’t say anything else except for this,” Jeonghan says gently. “I know you think Cheol is worth it, too. Being with someone doesn’t always have to feel like effort.” He shrugs. “Sometimes, it’s effortless.”
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You spend the next week thinking, and thinking, and thinking, until the ball drops and you finally just do it. You block Junseok on every social media, you delete his number, and you’re proud of yourself for it. You don’t message your friends back very much throughout the week. Seungcheol in particular has been radio silent, but you suppose you deserve that. You don’t reach out first, instead taking the time to process everything that’s happened, to process everything you’re feeling — and not just about Junseok. 
You know that Seungcheol has always meant a little bit more to you than anyone else. Now, you’re wondering why you’ve never done anything about it — and you’re also wondering just how long you’ve been blind to the fact that Seungcheol most likely, almost definitely, likes you back. 
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Y/N [5:36pm]: early Galentines dinner at my place this Sunday at 7?
You receive an almost immediate thumbs up from Seokmin and Soonyoung.
Hannie [5:43pm]: yaaaaas
Wonu [5:44pm]: might be a bit late but I’ll be there 
Kwanie [5:52pm]: NOOOOO I’m busy :(
Kwanie [5:52pm]: galentines?? WITHOUT ME????? UNBELIEVABLE
You smile at that, texting Seungkwan a private apology in a separate chat. Your heart jumps in your chest when you receive another notification, and you’re filled with relief so quick and intense that it feels like you’ve been doused in water.
Cheollie [5:58pm]: I’ll be there. Cheollie [5:58pm]: need help setting up?
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You hug Seungcheol the second he walks through your door. He reciprocates, and you feel relieved and anxious and warm and fuzzy all at once.
Now, a half hour has passed, and neither of you have mentioned what happened the week before. He tells you about his week at work, and you hate the small talk but you know it’s all just the road back into the familiar ease of your friendship — so you participate. It’s only when you’ve finished getting ready for dinner, Valentine’s Day decorations and lights all strung up and ready to go, that he speaks up again. You’re preparing tea for the two of you when he catches you entirely off guard. 
“Will Junseok be joining us tonight?”
You can feel your shoulders tense up. You can tell that it pains him to say it, but you also know he’s the brave one for even bringing it up. You take a deep breath. 
“He’s not coming tonight, or any other night, actually.”
Seungcheol seems surprised as he hands you a mug from the cupboard before grabbing one for himself. “Oh. I’m sorry.”
You shrug. “It’s okay. I’m fine, really.”
Seungcheol’s eyes follow you as you move across the kitchen to the kettle, pausing before speaking again. “I can tell.”
You turn back to him as you click the kettle on to boil, an eyebrow raised in his direction. “Was that sarcastic?”
The man smiles as he shakes his head. “No, I mean it. You seem happier than...” He trails off, but you both know what he’s thinking: than when I saw you last.
“I am,” you reply honestly, and it’s silent again for a moment before you both start to speak at the same time.
“Listen, I–”
“Hey, Cheol–”
You can feel warmth start to spread through you when he begins to laugh at your clumsiness — it had only been a week, but you’d missed that. You’d missed him. 
“You first,” you offer, and he nods.
“I’m sorry that I was frustrated when I left the other day,” he says, and you tilt your head in surprise at his apology. He shrugs before continuing, “I shouldn’t have left like that… but in my defense, I didn’t know you’d disappear for a week.” He’s joking, and you smile a bit at that.
“I’m the one who should be sorry, Cheol.” He joins you at the counter and you begin to pour hot water into both mugs, eyes focused on the task at hand, but you can feel him next to you. It suddenly all feels so intimate, the way you’re making tea for him the way he likes it without him saying a word, the way he watches you move around in your kitchen as if he does it every day. 
You turn to hand him his tea and when your eyes meet his, you feel a flush begin to creep up your neck to find him already looking back.
“I mean it,” you say softly, and he hums in response, eyebrows raising as he takes a sip and waits for you to continue. “I really am sorry for not being around the last couple of weeks.” You hop up onto the counter, legs dangling off of it as you wait for your tea to cool. 
Seungcheol sets his mug down on the counter and sends you a soft smile, one shoulder lifting in a shrug. “It’s okay. I get it.”
You nod, looking down, and pick at a thread on your jeans. “Thanks,” you say quietly, but he knows you’re not finished speaking. His eyes don’t leave your face, and his fingers still grip onto the handle of his mug as he waits, ever patient, for you to gather your thoughts. “I’m still sorry, though. I was just so overwhelmed and didn’t want to deal with it, so I let everything build up to a breaking point.”
“I promise it’s okay,” Seungcheol repeats. He’s being genuine — you can hear it in his voice. Your eyes meet his again, and you almost wish they hadn’t because you have more to say, and you might lose all of the courage left in you if he keeps looking at you like that. 
“Just… Just let me explain,” you request quietly, and he nods again. “I… I guess I just needed a bit of time to myself. To figure out what’s important to me.” You pause, choosing your next words carefully. “To figure out who is important to me.” 
You can feel your cheeks flush as you finish. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you this whole time, and you think your heart is in your throat now as he continues to gaze at you.
“Yeah?” 
Does he understand what you’re implying? Your eyes move to land on the dark strand of hair that’s fallen into his eyes. You suddenly feel a desperate need to reach out, to brush his hair back, to touch it. To touch him. Would he let you? Does he want that, too?
“Yeah,” you finally repeat, your quiet voice matching his as you meet his gaze again.
He moves then, slowly, almost as if he’s worried he’ll scare you off, shifting closer and reaching across your legs to set his mug in the sink. Your breath catches in your throat as he straightens back up in front of you, his now-empty hand falling to the counter beside your thigh. He’s standing right in front of you, caging you in between his arms, and you can’t look away.
“And what’s the verdict?” Comes his question, dark eyes searching yours.
“That I should start to focus more on the people that show me they care. Because those are the ones that I care about the most, too.” 
The tension in the air is palpable. 
Then his fingers gently, tentatively, brush against yours where they rest on the counter. He doesn’t do anything more, testing the waters, and it takes everything in you not to shiver. His gaze falls to your mouth, and you hold your breath — then he looks down and away from you, his eyes squeezing shut, and the moment is lost.
“Cheol?” You say carefully, desperate to get him to look at you again. He hums in response, but he doesn’t look up. You don’t know what he’s thinking, but you feel like if you don’t say what you want to say right now, you never will. “Thank you.”
That seems to get his attention as he lifts his head to meet your gaze once more. You can tell he’s surprised as he murmurs, “For what?”
“For being here.” You’re not sure if that’s what you meant to say, or how you meant to say it, because it sounds far too simple for how you feel about the man in front of you. And then he smiles.
“Of course,” comes his reply. You watch as his smile grows and he says, “I was told there would be free beer.”
You blink at him for a moment, processing — and then you let out a single, surprised laugh. You feel some sense of relief wash over you as the tension between you breaks a little, as everything around you seems to soften. You feel a little bit like you’re glowing from the inside out, warm and fuzzy like the pink heart-shaped lights strung up around your apartment, and you wonder if he feels it, too. You’re starting to think that maybe he does.
“Cheol,” you say, and you offhandedly wonder why you’re saying his name so much. He grows serious again, but the lighter air between the pair of you gives you just enough confidence to continue. “I don’t just mean today,” you elaborate, your voice soft. You feel vulnerable now, even more than before, your eyes falling to your lap. “You’re always there when I need you, and even sometimes when I think that I don’t.” Seungcheol laughs quietly at that. “It means a lot to me.”
He doesn’t hesitate. “You mean a lot to me.” 
When you look up, you find him gazing back, and you abruptly realize that he’s moved even closer. The fingers that were playing with yours move up to your waist, and your entire body reacts to the warmth of his palm. 
“Is this okay?” He murmurs, a quiet question that threatens to overwhelm you. He’s making sure that you want this just as much as he does. It sends a shiver down your spine.
“More than okay,” you affirm. His mouth lifts at the sides, dimples just peeking through. Again, you think that there’s something more that you wanted to say, but your breath is caught in your throat and he’s just so… beautiful.
“I…” He trails off, and you watch as his eyebrows furrow. You’re desperate to be even closer as you wait, closing the final space between you to press your forehead to his. “It was so hard not talking to you this week,” is what finally he says, and though he hasn’t said much, you think you understand. 
I missed you. That’s what he’s trying to say.
You desperately want to communicate to him that you won’t leave him like that again, that you don’t plan on going anywhere, that the last seven days away from him sucked just as much for you. In a bold move, you ease your legs apart, leaving room for him to stand between them. Your calf moves to hook behind his knee, tapping against him in a silent request for him to come even closer. You hope he understands — that you want him close like this, that you missed him more than you think he realizes.
He seems to understand you just fine.
He easily fills the space you made for him, his chest nearly flush against yours now. He gives your waist a gentle squeeze, and you inhale a shaky breath as he brushes his nose against yours. Your hands have found his shoulders, grasping onto the material of his sweater, and his eyes fall shut.
The same, pesky strand of hair is falling into his eyes again, and you’re pretty certain that given your current position, you’re allowed to do something about it now. So you do, lifting a hand to gently brush it back and over his forehead, gaze following the movement. His eyes open at the touch, and a whisper of your name brings you back to him. 
The moment you lock eyes again, he’s leaning forward to capture your mouth with his. 
Your hand falls from his forehead to his bicep as you gasp into the kiss, as you try and process. When you do, when you realize what’s finally happening, you can’t get enough. You’re pulling him in so close that you feel a bit feral, your fingers pressing into his arms, his back, one hand finding its way to the hair at the nape of his neck. You can tell he’s not faring much better than you as he chases your lips relentlessly, as he pulls you into him so close that you can’t feel anything but him. 
When you finally need to breathe, your hands find his face. You pull back, eyes taking him in as he lets out a breath, like he can’t believe what’s just happened, either. He looks at you, and you look back, and you have no idea what to say or do — until suddenly, you’re beaming. You can’t help it as you pull him back in for one long, slow kiss, grin wide against his mouth, your hand moving again to the back of his neck. He’s smiling, too — your favourite smile of his, the one that’s completely, entirely genuine — and when he pulls away only to bury his face in your neck this time, you can feel the smile against your skin.
“Fuck, I’m in love with you.”
It’s quiet, whispered against your skin, but you hear it. Your fingers pause their trail up and down his back. You move his face back up to look at him, your eyes searching his, desperate to know if you heard him right. “Cheol?”
He kisses you again, once, twice, so slow and soft that it makes your head spin. “I love you,” he says, breathless against your lips. He waits for you as you let it sink in, his hands firm on your waist, eyes boring into yours so you know that he means it. 
You believe him.
“I love you too,” you whisper, foreheads moving to rest against each other once more. “I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t be. It’s okay.”
He pulls you into his chest, and you can feel just how fast his heart is beating. You’re certain that yours isn’t doing much better.
“I do have a question though,” he says after a few moments pass, and you hum, urging him to go on. “You said you were going to spend more time with the people that care about you, right?” 
You move back to look at him and tilt your head in question. “Yes?”
“I’m guessing that includes Jeonghan and Hoshi and the boys,” Seungcheol muses, and you nod, your eyebrows raising. Then he pouts, and you sputter out a laugh.
“What’s that face for? They’re your friends, too!”
Seungcheol huffs. “Yes, but if you meant that you’re going to kiss them like that, too, then –”
You clap a hand over his mouth. “Ew!”
The man in front of you has a shit-eating grin on his face now, and you remove your hand. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”
“Trust me,” you shudder, “you’re the only one I’ve ever thought about kissing.”
“You’ve thought about it, huh?”
You look up at him, smacking his chest. “Shut up!”
“Don’t worry, I’ve thought about it too.” When he moves to kiss you again, you stop him with a hand on his chest. “Speaking of our friends,” you tease, “they’re literally going to be here any second. You have permission to kiss me as much as you want to later, okay?”
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A/N: here it is! The first of our Thirteen Valentines. I have to be honest, I got a little carried away with this one... I'll put out a full disclaimer that not all of the fics will be this long! Seungcheol has a solid grip on me and I couldn't do anything about it, you guys.
Please please please reblog if you can to spread the word, and check out the Thirteen Valentines masterlist! If you want to be added to the taglist, send me a message :)
Taglist: @waldau @wqnwoos @tae-bebe @gyuminusone @savventeen @eoieopda
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ponderingmoonlight · 12 days
Text
Realizing your true feelings for Gojo after he stands up for you
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Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader
Word Count: 1,4k
Synopsis: You told yourself countless times that you aren't able to like Gojo Satoru, that he is nothing but a jerk. Until he stands up for you, until he shows you what he really thinks of you...
Warnings: literally wrote this in my break at work so don't come for me lol, fluff fluff fluff, reader getting insulted
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Oh, how much you hate the way basically everyone looks at you. Well, not technically you, to be exact. It’s rather the person walking next to you who drowns in attention every time you are forced to go out together.
Not that you’d understand the hype. Gojo Satoru, the blessed one, the honored one, the strongest fucking jujutsu sorcerer of your lifetime.
“What’s wrong? Feeling left out, (y/n)?”
And probably the biggest pain in your ass.
“You’re such a whore for attention it hurts”, you bite back while rolling your shaded eyes the way you always do the second he opens his mouth.
His laughter vibrates through your body, annoys you to the core. When will this madness finally come to an end? When will they finally begin to send you onto missions with Geto, Yu or fuck, even Nanami? Why on earth does it always have to be him?
“Caught me there I guess. But it’s not my fault that I’m easy to look at. Not like you.”
You force yourself to take a deep breath in and out, to calm your tingling nerves and stop your fist from twitching. That fucker has some really good nerves. Only the sound of his name next to you simply drives you insane, let alone his stupid comments and oh too annoying voice. Is there really anything good on Gojo Satoru, something you might like?
“I hate you”, you hiss through gritted teeth.
“Aww, don’t be like that, (y/n). We both know that isn’t true”, he purrs, ready to grab your shoulder when you yank away.
“I’ll break your fucking nose if you touch me, jerk.”
“I’d love to see you try, princess.”
“I’ve never seen you around here.”
The sudden soft female voice that interrupts your rambling catches you off guard.
There she stands, an undeniable beauty with curves in just the right places and blonde hair that looks like strands of gold. The bluest eyes, the most breathtaking smile. And of course, her gaze is fixated on Satoru.
“That’s because it’s my first time here. After all, my eyes definitely wouldn’t have miss someone like you”, he replies with that cheeky grin you know oh too well, the cheeky grin that makes your blood boil in an instant.
Really? This is probably the worst time to start a flirty conversation. You were sent here to detect a special grade curse, to save this damned city from getting scorched. But he? He has nothing but her blonde hair and delicate smile in his pea brain
“Don’t you think that this isn’t the right time for a conversation like that?”, you mumble irritably.
“We’re just having a little talk. Who are you, his girlfriend? I highly doubt that. A girl like you would never have a chance with a guy like him.”
You have to blink a few times when her sugary voice spits at you with pure venom.
It shouldn’t bother you. Why would it? Gojo is the last person walking on earth you’d be in a relationship with, the last person who would ever want you. You, with your average looks. You, being a grade 2 sorcerer who has nothing special to offer. You, who never actually allowed herself to like Gojo. You, who is nothing compared to the woman standing in front of you.
Then why do her words feel like a knife in your heart? Why are you standing there like an idiot, sunglasses barely covering your pain? Why does his presence next to you suddenly sting so badly?
“Pretty disgusting words for someone with that face. Do you really think the world belongs to you because you look good? Let me tell you something: Apart from being hot, (y/n) is also unremarkable smart, astute and sarcastic. Someone as simple-minded as you should better avoid me. Now get lost, will you?”
What.
On.
Earth.
Did Gojo Satoru really stand up for you? No, did Gojo Satoru just call you “hot, unremarkable smart, astute and sarcastic”? Your heart almost beats out of your chest, pounding so roughly against your ribcage that you feel like fainting any given minute. A cruel storm of butterflies almost causes your guts to turn, makes you see stars. Are you dreaming, maybe? This can’t be reality. It’s impossible that-
“Hey, are you okay? I hope you don’t trust that stinky girl”, Gojo speaks out softly.
You can sense the way he eyes you up and down through his sunglasses, the little pout on his face revealing that he’s truly worried. Is that really the boy who teases you until you lose your mind completely? God, how much you hate him, how much you want to punch him into his stupid perfect face.
You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding. But what is that little part of your brain that almost dies in excitement, then? What are those strange butterflies that never invaded you since you joined Jujutsu High?
“Hey, look at me.”
Your eyes dart upwards, get greeted by his bright blue orbs that look down at you in a seriousness you’ve never seen before.
“Tell me you don’t believe her.”
“She said nothing I don’t already know”, you reply dryly.
He shakes his head, still staring down at you with furrowed eyebrows. Who is this guy? What are those feelings? Why aren’t you able to look away like you always do? Gojo is only playing with you the way he does constantly. His bright blue orbs aren’t to be trust and you know it.
“I would choose you a hundred times before someone like her, (y/n).”
It’s like all life drained from your body, blank eyes staring at him in shock. This really has to be a dream. When was the last time Gojo has been nice to you? Probably never. He constantly teases you, drives you inane, makes you mad, makes you regret your decision to come to Jujutsu High and also…
Makes you feel save, makes you feel good about yourself, makes you feel affection.
Affection? For Gojo?
“I…I have to go”, you blurt out so abruptly that you almost trip over your own feet while trying to haste away.
He’s only picking on you like he always does. Gojo Satoru, considering a romantic relationship with you? You huff out loud, cheeks redden by the sheer thought of the dumb look you gave him. You aren’t better than the girls you despise so much, after all. He truly managed to wrap you around his finger like everyone else, even though you told yourself over and over to hate him.
What a pathetic jerk you are.
You spin around so fast you almost fall over, only to get caught in a pair of strong arms.
“You don’t believe me”, Gojo notes while keeping you in place.
“Why would I?”, you press out, not daring to look at him once again.
You need to get away from this cursed place, away from the honored one. It’s time to go back to normal, back to hating him with all your heart. Because this is all he is, right? Gojo Satoru is nothing but your rival…right?
“Maybe I can convince you with something else.”
Just when you’re about to protest and freeing yourself, he pulls you even closer and presses his lips against yours.
Time stands still, the lenses of your sunglasses pressing so violently against Gojo’s skin that they crack.
This.
This is the stuff your wildest dreams are made of, a dream you didn’t even allow yourself to think about. If there’s one thing that always seemed impossible to you, it was this. Why would you ever be more than Gojo’s rival, what is the purpose of seeing anything apart from a pain in the ass in him?
This right here.
Out of instinct, you wrap your arms around him as well, pull him closer and closer, take in his delicious scent. The sheer feeling of his lips collapsing into yours leaves you breathless, makes your lungs ache in the urge for air.
Until he lets go of you while panting hard, now glowing eyes fixated on you so intimidating that you feel yourself blushing.
“Believing me know?”
“You stained my sunglasses”, you breathe out mindlessly.
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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 3 months
Text
Can You Feel My Heart - GF!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader
This was a request I got over a month ago, and the person that asked for it was very detailed in the things they wanted, and I didn't want to give away the entire fic before anyone read it lmao. If you're the one that requested it, I hope you like it! It's definitely a bigger one, 5.9k words🙃
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I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim
This contains SMUT - Minors DNI
Summary: You were supposed to die in Tara and Sam's apartment, but you never showed. When he tries to finish the job, he realizes that he can't hurt you, and you help him decided to save the rest of your friends.
Contains: Dryhumping? Oral - m & f receiving, p in v, fingering. Nothing too crazy, Ethan's an inexperienced virgin for the most part in this.
A/N: Deadass want to write something where reader makes Ethan cum in his pants💀
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Ethan knew he couldn’t do what his family asked when it came to hurting you, but after hours of Quinn telling Ethan that you’d never want him, and that you would never see him as anything more than a pathetic loser, he’d channeled enough rage towards you to hopefully do the job he was asked to do.
When he popped out of Quinn’s closet that night and killed her flavor of the week, the adrenaline was already pumping through his veins. When he went out to the main area of the apartment, he searched for you. He thought back to the text you sent him about being bummed that he had econ and couldn’t join you and the rest of the friend group, so he knew this was where you were supposed to be. He didn’t let you not being there throw everything off, it just meant Anika had to die before it was originally planned.
He met with his dad before he had to show up at the crime scene and play the roll of the grieving father to explain how everything actually played out.
“She wasn’t there?!” Wayne yelled, as Ethan nodded, his breathing still heavy from all the running to get away from the apartment before anyone had a chance to see him. “Fuck, I thought you had this all planned out!”
“I’m sorry,” Ethan said, “She was supposed to be there. I guess she changed her mind.”
“You’re going to finish the job though, right?” Wayne asked, knowing how much convincing it took to get Ethan to want to kill you in the first place.
“Yeah, I’ll take care of it. I know tomorrow’s supposed to be the end of all this, but I have her schedule memorized. I’ll just break into her apartment before she get’s home from class, kill her, and I’ll meet you at the theater,” he said, as Wayne nodded in approval.
“I knew you wouldn’t let me down.”
The next day, you went to class. You’d heard about another attack but had no idea it was Anika and Quinn. With you backing out of coming over to Tara and Sam’s last minute before the attacks happened, your friends couldn’t help but wonder if you could’ve been the one that caused her death. You were the last person they’d suspect, but they thought it was a little strange.
Finally, Tara called you when you were walking back home after your morning classes.
“Hey, sorry I didn’t come over last night. I was so tired,” you said, as soon as you answered the phone.
“It’s a good thing you didn’t,” Tara said. You immediately heard the sadness in her voice.
“Wait, what happened?” you asked, before you heard Mindy yelling at Tara for calling you in the background. “Tara, what’s going on?”
“The killer came to the apartment last night…Quinn and Anika are dead,” she said, as you were walking through your front door.
“Oh my god,” you said, bracing yourself against the doorway as you took in the news she just told you. “Is Mindy okay?” you asked as you started to get emotional. You weren’t the closest to Anika yet, but you were getting there. You loved her sweet yet sarcastic personality, and you’d recently started to get to know her better from the study sessions with her and Ethan.
“No, not really,” Tara sighed, “Were you really home last night? I hate to ask you because I don’t think you’d do anything like this…but you saying you weren’t coming over last minute was a little suspicious.”
You were taken aback by her accusations, and were about to respond, when you heard the beeping that someone else was calling you. You felt annoyed as you saw the unknown number, quickly declining it before you responded to Tara.
“Tara, I promise you I was at home. I was so tired after class yesterday,” you got out, before you started to get another unknown number call, “Fuck, someone keeps calling me. I’ll text you in a little bit. We’ll figure out who’s doing this.”
“Okay, be safe,” she said, before you ended the call and answered whoever kept calling you.
“Hello?” you asked, the irritation in your voice obvious as you heard a chuckle on the other end of the call.
“I thought you were just going to keep ignoring me.”
You immediately recognized the voice. You’d heard it several times before in the Stab movies, and started to think this was some kind of sick prank.
“Who is this?” you asked, walking towards your kitchen, “Because this isn’t funny.”
“Oh, you sweet, dumb thing,” the person responded, a hint of laughter still in their voice. “I think this is hilarious. You’re all alone in your apartment, no one to save you…”
You tensed up as you glanced around the areas of your apartment that you could see from the kitchen, before inching your way towards the drawer that contained the knives.
“Don’t even think about it,” the voice said, the realization that whoever this was could see you in that moment setting in.
“Who the fuck is this?” you asked, your voice a little shaky as your anxiety kicked in.
“Aww, are you scared?” the voice cooed, “Because you should be.”
That’s when you saw the masked figure darting towards you from your bedroom. You tried to make a run for the front door, but Ghostface was hot on your heels. The knife was shoved in your direction in attempts to slow you down, but the knife penetrated the wood of your door. The killer struggled for a few seconds as they tried to get the knife out, giving you the smallest amount of time to get away from them.
You ran to your living room, searching for anything you could use to help you defend yourself, when you noticed that Ghostface had joined you in the room, holding the knife up as they stared at you.
“Why are you doing this?” you cried. Seeing you like this had Ethan feeling so guilty, but Quinn’s words kept replaying in his head. He didn’t say anything as he charged towards you again. You tried to fight him off, but you were quickly overpowered by him.
He threw you to the ground before he straddled your body. You kept trying to fight, refusing to just give up, even though this person was a lot stronger than you. Both of Ghostface’s hands were wrapped around his knife as they held it over their head, your life literally flashing before your eyes as you waited for it all to be over.
Ethan hesitated, though. The fear in your eyes, your tear-soaked cheeks, and the sobs slipping past your lips were something he knew would haunt him if he went through with this.
“I’m so sorry,” you heard, recognizing the voice as the knife was lowered and clanked on the floor beside you. “I can’t do this to you.”
“Ethan?!” you choked out, gaining enough strength to shove him off you. You used your hands and feet to back yourself closer to the wall, pulling yourself up by the windowsill as he sat on the floor. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
“I don’t know,” he cried, pulling the mask over his head and throwing it in frustration. “I can’t do anything right.”
You eyed him as you stood against the wall, watching him cry. You were so shaken up and furious, but you couldn’t help but wonder how Ethan ended up in this position. He was this shy, sweet person that you enjoyed spending time with, and maybe it was your personal feelings towards him, but you felt bad for him.
You walked over to where the knife was, kicking it to the other side of the room under your tv stand. If he had a change of heart and decided he wanted to kill you, you knew him trying to fish that out would give you enough time to escape.
“What the fuck, Ethan?” you sighed, standing beside him as he still sat in his place on the floor. “Why?”
He just kept crying, so ashamed of himself that he got roped into his dad’s plan in the first place. He felt sick, and not just mentally. He was fighting his nausea as you finally crouched down beside him.
“Talk to me,” you said, as he finally looked up at you. He looked scared, his pupils huge as his chin quivered.
“My family is behind all this,” he said, jumping up off the floor as you hesitantly stood up. “Fuck, they’re gonna kill me.”
You started to get nervous all over again as he paced the floor. His hands were shaking, and you couldn’t tell if it was out of fear or anger, but you stepped as far away from him as you could.
“I don’t even understand why you were a part of this in the first place. You didn’t have anything to do with Richie dying,” he ranted, before pausing for a second, “Are you close to your parents?”
You just stared at him, unsure of what to say. This wasn’t the Ethan you knew, and his erratic behavior had a huge lump in your throat.
“I bet your parents love you. I bet they’d never treat you the way my dad treats me,” he said, after you didn’t answer him. “I bet they never make you feel like you’re worthless.”
“You’re not worthless,” you said softly, his head snapping in your direction. You hesitated before speaking again. “Your family is doing this because of Richie? How is he a part of this?”
Ethan stepped towards you, as you backed even further against the wall. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
You shook your head as you looked at him, “You just tried to kill me, Ethan…I’m terrified of you right now.”
“Fuck,” he said, tearing up again. “Richie was my brother. I know you heard the story about Sam stabbing him and slitting his throat,” Ethan paused, you nodded for him to continue, “My dad and sister wanted revenge. I didn’t want to do any of this.”
“Then why did you?” you questioned, as he wiped tears from his cheeks.
“Because my dad told me that it would finally make him proud of me for something…and he said he’d just kill me too if I didn’t help with all this.”
You started to relax against the wall a little as you processed everything. This wasn’t about him wanting to hurt you or anyone else, he just wanted to be loved by the one person that should’ve loved him regardless. He was broken, and even though the voice inside your head kept screaming that you were stupid for wanting to comfort him, your huge heart was breaking for him.
“Ethan,” you said, slowly stepping towards him, “Everything will be okay.”
“No it won’t!” he yelled, making you jump, “Shit, I’m sorry,” he said, noticing that he’d scared you again. He started to speak in a softer tone, “My dad is a fucking detective…even if I try to run away from all of this, he’d just find me.”
You stood there in silence for a few seconds as the realization hit you, “Detective Bailey?” you asked, as he nodded.
“Quinn is a part of this, too. She’s my sister.”
“Ethan…Quinn died last night. This isn’t making sense,” you said, as he scoffed.
“She’s not dead…I wish she was, though. I fucking hate her.”
You both stood in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds heard in the room was his heavy breathing and the occasional sob he’d let out…and the pounding in your chest but you were sure only you could hear that.
“I know you probably hate me right now, and I’m so sorry that I scared you like that. You didn’t deserve it,” he finally said, his eyes connecting with yours. “I’d rather my own life be over than take yours.”
“Your life isn’t over,” you said, as he started to awkwardly laugh.
“It is, though. I still helped with this. I’m going to spend the rest of my life in prison.”
“Not if you stop all this. You can still do the right thing,” you said, his eyes growing wide at your suggestion. “I’m the only person that knows…I won’t say anything.”
He looked at you in disbelief, unsure if you were serious or if you just had a really good poker face.
“I do have another question, though,” you said, walking closer towards him, until he was right in front of you. “Why didn’t you kill me?”
You wanted to pull him into a hug. You wanted him to feel like he was cared about. But you really needed to know why he changed his mind last minute before you did anything.
“I uhm…” he said, trailing off as he tried to find the right words to say, “I really like you, You’re just so sweet, and you’re always showing interest in the things I like, even if you don’t understand it. Quinn tried to make me hate you enough to do it, but I couldn’t.”
“So…Quinn tried to convince you to kill me?” you asked, a little confused. You’d spent plenty of time with her at Sam and Tara’s. You now knew that her kindness towards you was all an act, but you didn’t understand why she thought you needed to die.
“Yeah, she knew how I felt about you,” he said, glancing at the floor as his cheeks started to turn a rosy pink. “She said you’d never want to be with me. That doesn’t matter, though. That wasn’t a good enough reason for me to finish the job.”
“Is that all I am to you? A job?” you half-joked, as he started to smile, looking back up at you.
“Not at all.”
You both just stared at each other as he started to calm down. His eyes were red from all the crying, the guilt for even trying to hurt you painted on his face, but you still grabbed his hands and pulled him close to you.
“It’s going to be okay, Ethan. I’ll help you get through this,” you said, as your hands comfortingly ran over his back. He relaxed into your touch, but he was still a little shocked that you didn’t hate him at that moment.
“Are you okay?” he softly asked, “I know I slammed you on the floor pretty hard.”
“I’m still pissed at you, but I’m okay,” you said, as you started to pull away. He held onto you tighter, not wanting to let you go just yet. “Ethan,” you said sternly, “We need to talk about something else.”
“Sorry…you have no idea how long it’s been since I’ve had affection like this,” he mumbled against you, before pulling away. “I’m really fucked up, aren’t I?”
“I might be a little fucked up, too. I want to make you feel better after you tried to kill me,” you said, as he shook his head.
“You’re not fucked up, you’re perfect.”
You grabbed his gloved hand and led him over to the couch. He realized that he was still wearing the robe and pulled it off, tossing it on the floor before he sat down beside you. Your eyes connected with his as you slid the gloves off his hands and threw them on top of the robe.
“I know your family has their plans, but we need to save the rest of our friends,” you said, his heart pounding when you said the word ‘we’.
“No, you can’t help. I can’t let anything happen to you. I’ll take care of it,” he said, as your hands still held onto his. He looked down at them, before looking back up at you. “You mean a lot to me, even if you don’t feel the same way I do.”
You smirked at him as your thumbs rubbed against the top of his hands, “I never said I didn’t feel the same way you do.”
The tension was building up as you just looked at each other. He wasn’t the most experienced, and you knew that, so you decided to make the first move. You leaned in and gently kissed him before you pulled away. He had a sweet smile on his lips, his cheeks pink, but he wanted more.
He gained a little confidence, leaning forward to kiss you. It wasn’t a simple peck like yours was, as his lips needily moved against yours. Your head was spinning as he pushed you back on the couch, his body hovering over yours as you ran your tongue across his bottom lip. He gasped at the feeling, giving you the opportunity to slip your tongue in his mouth. He didn’t know what to do at first, but soon enough, his tongue was moving with yours.
After a few minutes, he pulled away so you could both catch your breath. He was panting on top of you, a small gasp slipping out of your mouth as he adjusted his hips to get more comfortable in his place between your legs.
You started to get a little lost in thought, wondering if you were crazy. You didn’t expect to be making out with Ethan after he held a knife over you and scared you more than you’d ever been, but it just felt right.
You grabbed his shirt and pulled him back down to kiss you. The grip you had on his shirt relaxed, your fingertips gently running down his chest. He started to tense up a little when your hands reached his stomach, a small groan slipping into your mouth at the feeling. He didn’t pull away from you, the kiss only getting more intense as he started to grind against you.
“Fuck,” you mumbled against him, before nudging him back. “My bed is a lot more comfortable…just saying.”
“Okay,” he said, trying to catch his breath.
After both of you stood up, you could see how hard he was in his jeans. He subtly tried to cover it with his free hand, his other hand laced with yours as you led him to your room.
It got a lot harder for him to hide it once you pushed him back on your bed. You glanced at it before you straddled him, his cheeks turning pink, yet again.
“You keep blushing,” you said, as you started to roll your hips. “Is this okay?”
“Yes,” he spat out, so quickly that you started to giggle. “Please don’t stop.”
Your hips kept moving as he placed his hands on them, pulling you closer to him. You gasped at the friction it was giving your clit, your panties getting more soaked by the second. He was starting to groan, his mouth falling open as his eyes fluttered shut.
“Okay, we need to stop,” he said, his breathing heavy as his eyes snapped open. “You’re going to make me cum in my pants.”
“Would you rather cum in my mouth?” you asked, your eyes looking deep into his. He didn’t know what to say, because he was so embarrassed that just you grinding against him was enough to almost bring him over the edge. He knew the second you put him in your mouth, he’d cum on the spot. You could tell he was nervous, his hands feeling a little shaky as he held onto you. “It’s okay, baby. We can stop.”
“No, I want to…I just don’t want you to be disappointed,” he sighed, turning his eyes away from your gaze. “Whatever we do, I know I won’t last long.”
“Ethan, I know you’re a virgin. I don’t expect you to last long.” He started to get flustered, hating the fact that his inexperience was so obvious. “It’s okay. If you want me to make you feel good, I will.”
“Shit,” he mumbled, “Okay, we can do it.”
You smirked as you slid off him and started to unbutton his jeans. He lifted his hips as you slid them down a little, the wet spot on his boxers from his precum making your mouth water even more than it already was. He sharply inhaled the second you grabbed his cock out of his boxers, his hips jolting forward at the simple action.
“Relax, baby,” you said softly as you leaned down to take him in your mouth.
You were trying to tease him a little, just swirling your tongue against his tip, when his hips jerked forward again. His cock hit the back of your throat, making you gag around him.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he whined, his chest heaving at the feeling, “I didn’t mean to do that.”
You just kept gagging around him, intentionally making your mouth more wet for him before you started to bob your head. His hands tightly gripped your comforter as you sucked, the feeling better than he could’ve ever imagined. He was trying so hard to hold back, but you made it impossible for him. His groans turned to whimpers as you started to stroke what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You knew he was close when he started to babble, only recognizing the words ‘Perfect’ and ‘So good’.
His hips started to rut forward again, his legs shaking as one of his hands went to your hair. He tightly gripped it as the feeling washed over him, his salty cum filling your mouth. After his hips stopped thrusting, you swallowed and slid him out of your mouth.
You sat there for a minute after you pulled away, watching him fully come back down from his high. He felt your gaze on him as he slowly opened his eyes and smiled at you.
“That was…fuck,” he sighed, pulling you closer to him. “Can we do that again sometime?”
“I hope so,” you said, as you started to think about what Ethan had to do. “When is everything else supposed to happen, like with the Ghostface stuff?”
You sat up a little to look at him as you waited for his answer. “Shit, if I’m going to stop it, I need to get to the theater,” he sighed, pulling his boxers and jeans back over his hips. “Can we finish this later?”
“Of course,” you said, fully sitting up on your bed. “I want to come with you.”
“No, I’m not losing the girl I’m in love with,” he said, jumping off the bed and landing on his feet. He paused when he realized what he said. “I guess you know how I really feel in case I don’t make it out of this alive.”
“I’m not staying here and worrying about you all night,” you said, sliding off your bed. “Do you know the theater well?”
“Yeah, but you’re not coming!” He was starting to get irritated, but he knew with your persistence that you were coming with him whether he liked it or not. “You could get killed, babe. I can’t keep you safe and take down dad and Quinn at the same time.”
“If they already think I’m dead, don’t you think that would be helpful?” you asked, “I’ll get our friends out before anything happens to them.”
“Fuck, okay. But we need to leave right now.”
You were hoping you could catch your friends before they made it inside the theater, but you peaked around the side of the building as soon as they were going in.
“There’s a back way, just let me scope it out for Quinn first,” he said, as the two of you walked around the old theater. He slid the robe back on and covered his face with the mask before he turned to look at you. “Wait here,” he said, before he opened the door and walked inside.
You were outside for a while before you heard screaming and Ethan’s voice booming on the other side of the door. You didn’t know what was going on, you even started to think that he’d decided to go through with the original plan, after all. You screamed once the masked figure walked out, the bloody knife in their hand.
“It’s okay, babe. It’s me,” he said, reaching for your hand. You hesitantly took his hand in yours as he led you inside, noticing a huge pool of blood on the floor.
“Is that…Quinn?” you asked, noticing the body hunched over in the corner.
“Yeah, we don’t have much time. Dad will be here soon,” he said, leading you down the hallway towards the museum-like display.
You bumped into Chad and Tara when you came around a corner. They both froze when they saw you, your hand still in Ethan’s.
“It was you?” Tara asked, as your eyes went wide, realizing how this all looked.
“No, but we need to get you guys the fuck out of here,” you said, motioning for Tara to come with you. They both stood in their spot as Chad glanced around, looking for something Tara could defend herself with as he tried to take down the masked person. “I’m fucking serious! We have to go!”
“Please just listen to her,” Ethan said, as Chad and Tara looked at each other. “I know how this looks, but you need to go with her. I’ll get Sam and Kirby out next.”
“Why should we trust you?” Chad asked, as Ethan lifted the mask off.
“I’m trying to do the right thing…and it’ll all be for nothing if you don’t go with her. Please, my dad’s on his way,” he sighed, as Chad hesitantly nodded.
“We can both take her if this is bullshit,” Chad whispered to Tara as she nodded. “You’re going to get Sam and Kirby?” he asked, as Ethan nodded. “Fuck, let’s go.”
You led them down the hall as Ethan made his way into the theater to search for the other two. Once you got closer to where Quinn was, you warned them.
“Try not to freak out, but there’s a body around the corner,” you said, noticing the blood spreading across the hall.
“What the fuck is going on?” Chad finally asked, “Whoa, who is that?”
You turned to face them, the confusion on their faces obvious when they noticed the red hair.
“That’s Quinn, she never died. Detective Bailey is in on this,” you said, before trying to think of the best way to explain Ethan without telling them his involvement. “Ethan is Quinn’s brother. He figured all this out today, and he wanted to stop it.”
“Oh,” was all Tara said, as you led them out the back door.
The three of you waited outside for a while. Tara was starting to freak out, the concern for her sister’s safety made her want to go back inside.
“Where the fuck are they?” Chad asked, as he heard Sam start to yell for Tara from the front entrance.
You ran around to the front of the building, panic setting in when you saw Sam and Kirby, but no Ethan.
“What happened?” you asked, peaking around them, hoping to see him walk out behind them.
“We didn’t believe Ethan at first…until he started to fight Detective Bailey,” Sam said, noticing the sadness in your eyes as your thoughts ran wild. “He’s okay, he’s in the ambulance over there.”
“Oh my god,” you said, running over to him. He smiled at you as you crawled into the back, your anxiety fading once you saw he was okay. “I forgot to tell you something earlier,” you said, sitting down beside him. You leaned in to kiss him, mumbling “I love you, too,” against his lips before you pulled away.
You were soon joined in the back by a paramedic, who was looking over a huge gash on Ethan’s arm that you didn’t see before, the blood unnoticeable with the black robe he was still wearing.
“Oh shit,” you said, looking at it. “How hurt are you?”
“This is it,” he said with a smile, before wincing at the numbing medication being injected into his arm. “That burns.”
You were shocked after he was all stitched up and one of the new detectives on the case said he was good to go, but that he’d just need to come down to the police station the next day. Ethan looked over to you, silently thanking you for keeping your word and not ratting him out. You knew he was wrong for doing what he did to Anika, but it was so easy for it to be pinned on his dead dad.
“Thank you, Ethan,” Sam said, as he hopped out of the back of the ambulance. “We’re going back to our apartment. You guys want to come?”
You and Ethan exchanged your glances as he took your hand in his.
“No, I think we’re going to…uh, hang out?” he said, like it was a question. It made you giggle as Chad curiously eyed him. He stopped Ethan before the two of you walked away, discreetly pulling a condom out of his wallet.
“Just in case you need it,” he said, as Ethan nodded and slid it into the front pocket of his jeans.
“Thanks, dude.”
Once you made it back to your apartment, you couldn’t figure out if you were with the same nervous Ethan from earlier in the day. He had you out of your clothes in minutes, your bare back against the plush comforter as he trailed kisses down your stomach. His hands were inching up your thighs as he pushed them apart.
He moved lower, groaning at the sight of your soaked pussy before he started to place gently kitten licks to your clit. You started to moan as his tongue moved faster, your hand tangling in his curls to encourage him, as if your moaning wasn’t already doing that enough. Once he moved his tongue a little lower and swirled it inside of you, your hips involuntarily jolted, much like his did earlier in the day. When your hips kept moving, he pinned them down with his free hand as he kept lapping at the wetness dripping out of you.
“Shit, Ethan,” you moaned, which only made him go faster.
His mouth worked you closer to the edge when he pulled away. You whined at the loss of contact, knowing how close you were getting to your orgasm. He wasn’t going to let it slip away, instead using his fingers and curving them inside you.
“Right there,” you whimpered once he brushed his fingers over the spongy spot inside of you.
His fingers firmly pressed as they moved, his tongue moving back up to lick fat stripes across your swollen clit. The orgasm you were so close to having was quickly approaching again, your hips still trying to buck against him as he struggled to hold them down. Your vision was getting hazier by the second, your whimpers getting louder as your legs started to shake.
“Fuck, I’m cumming,” you whined, as your pussy started contracting around his fingers.
He pulled his mouth away from your clit to have a better view of your face as his fingers slowed inside of you. You were a panting mess as you came back down, your eyes hooded as your hands reached for him.
“Don’t take this wrong because that was amazing, but that wasn’t what I expected,” you said, your breathing still labored as he snuggled up beside you. “I didn’t really have to tell you what to do at all.”
He started to laugh to himself as his hand reached over to run along your naked body, “I guess it just came to me. I knew moaning meant I was doing something right.”
“You did everything right, fuck,” you sighed, feeling his hand run over one of your breasts, gently pinching your nipple between his fingers. “No pressure, but if you want to have sex, we can.”
“Seriously?” he asked, sitting up a little to look at you.
“Yeah, I know you already have a condom,” you said, running your hand over the pocket of his jeans. “Chad should really be a little less obvious.”
“He just wanted me to be prepared,” he sighed, sliding the condom out of his pocket.
He crawled off the bed to take his jeans off. You started to giggle as he climbed back up, the tent in his boxers obvious as he sat on his knees and looked at you.
“Those have to come off, too,” you said, as he started to blush. His hesitance made you roll your eyes as you sat up and leaned over, shimmying his boxers down his hips. “You have nothing to be self-conscious about,” you said, as his cock stood at attention right in front of your face.
You grabbed the condom off the bed beside you and opened it. He intently watched you as you rolled it on his length, the feeling making his breath hitch in his throat.
“Please don’t hate me if this doesn’t last long,” he said, as he got settled between your legs.
“No pressure,” you assured him, as he started to push inside of you, stretching your walls.
He took it slow, at first. His hands teasingly roamed the areas of your body he could reach, the tickling feeling only building your anticipation up even more. Once he got through the initial fear of cumming too quickly, he started to move a little faster. His bottom lip was in between his teeth as he looked down at you, your tits jiggling with each thrust. He held on to one of them as his other hand went to your hip, holding you in place as his thrusts sped up.
He started to groan as he fucked into you, his cheeks red as his mouth hung open. You could tell he was trying to hold back, his mind somewhere else as he tried to distract himself. You moved one of your hands to your clit, rubbing quick circles as your other hand grabbed onto his arm.
“Baby,” you moaned out, as he started to focus on you again. “Go a little faster, I’m close.”
“Shit,” he groaned, snapping his hips into yours. You started to move your hips to meet his thrusts, the feeling of the tip of your cock repeatedly hitting your g-spot had you teetering on the edge.
You let out a loud moan as the euphoric feeling washed over you, your skin tingling as your pussy clenched him. His eyes started to flutter as his thrusts started to falter, a whimper slipping past his lips as he started to fill the tip of the condom. He stilled inside of you as you just kept tightening around him, his head hanging as he caught his breath.
“God, babe,” he said, sliding out of you. “I just want to stay inside you all the time.”
You giggled at him as he laid down beside you. “Is it that good?”
“You have no fucking idea.”
You were starting to get some post-nut clarity as you laid your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. He’d killed three people in one day and tried to kill you. You were still so proud of him for saving the rest of the people you cared about, even if he had his little psychotic tendencies. You made a mental note to bring up therapy to him once the investigation was over, knowing he needed to work through the daddy issues he ultimately had after years of neglect. You knew that you were going to be by his side the whole way, not wanting him to feel like he didn’t matter ever again.
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kayjayjwrites · 2 months
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Like Bugs in a Rug: Chapter Two
(Previous Chapter)
Summary: Azriel Shadowsinger, mysterious pretty boy extraordinaire himself, was head over heels in love with you for years. Everyone in the room could see it, except for you of course. A series of connected one-shots.
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Chapter Word Count: 7,500 Chapter Song Inspo: Obey - Bring Me The Horizon
Chapter Content Warnings: hurt/comfort, angst kinda, eventual fluff, anxiety/panic attack, vomit (nothing graphic), Rhysand being an ass, Nesta x Reader friendship, Rhysand slander lol,  AFAB Reader, Reader (You), fluff, some details about Reader's appearance but overall vague, canon plot spoilers as this is canon compliant-ish Note: So is this fluff? Debatable. But there is still plenty of Az fluff in it, you just got to work for it a little more this time. You don’t need to read the first chapter to understand what’s going on here, but they are connected!
XxXx
It took almost three years of employment with the Inner Circle for you to personally encounter the ‘Night Triumphant’ persona. You were not impressed. The most serious you’d seen your cousin was ‘High Lord Rhysand’, the fierce leader, but even that was limited to political business outside of Velaris. More so than not, it was just Rhys, your fun loving, sarcastic friend who so happened to wield an enormous amount of power. 
The male sitting at his work desk was not your ‘Rhys’. Hell this wasn’t even High Lord Rhysand. The Night Triumphant held eye contact with you, gaze calculated and stern. You studied the authority in his expression, his mouth drawn into a tight line. Staring him down right back, you waited for the facade to break and reveal the male you had come to know as family. You searched his face for the guy who would rather face Amarantha again than put you in such a precarious situation. The very situation that plagued you with consistent nightmares since you left Hewn City.
You did not find that male.
Your gaze flitted to Mor, her body draped in a leather armchair off to the side, hoping to find a trace of humor in her expression. She tried to look nonchalant, but there was a sharp edge to her that betrayed her own trepidation.
Nesta stood an arm’s length away from you, uncharacteristically quiet in the wake of your High Lord’s orders. She seemed as if she was waiting to see who would escalate things first. Rhysand had summoned the three of you to his office to brief everyone on an upcoming…obligation. He prefaced the meeting by saying that he knew it wasn’t an ideal assignment. He wasn’t asking if you wanted to do it, it was non negotiable. 
In two months time, you, Nesta, and Mor would be answering a summons to Hewn City. Kier had been requesting a personal audience with you for the last year. Mor and Rhysand could no longer postpone it, as you were a Night Court Courtier afterall.
Still, you did not want to believe that Rhys would ask this of you. “You’re kidding, right? This isn’t very funny, Rhysand.”
“I know you can tell that I am not joking.” His flinty tone brook no argument.
Any hope of reasoning with the Night Triumphant withered away. He summoned you to his office well aware that you wouldn’t take kindly to being sent back. Here you’d been thinking Rhysand understood your trauma best, having been held captive and used while Under the Mountain. 
It appeared that you had misjudged him.
Just as you were about to say as much, Mor spoke up for the first time since the meeting started. “Kier threatened mutiny at the last Council meeting. At first he demanded a private audience, even after I informed him of our bargain. When we still refused to send you by yourself despite his threats, he agreed on these terms. You and Nesta because you’re a team, and me because I oversee The Court of Nightmares anyway. He couldn’t argue with that logic.”
You felt like you were going to be sick. After 300 years of being nothing but a tool for your father, the idea of seeing Kier’s face again so soon had your lunch sitting heavy in your stomach. It was inevitable, he thought you were loyal to him, his spy on the inside. You had zero idea how you were going to handle a reunion with him, simply thinking about it made you short of breath.
Your nights were plagued with stress dreams about what it would be like to return to your old home. You avoided stewing on the topic during your waking hours. The inevitability of it all often sent you spiraling, you couldn’t ghost Kier forever, but you thought you had more time. There was no fucking way you were ready. “I can’t do this,” You said, “give me any other assignment, and I’ll do it. Just not this.”
“You can,” Rhysand enunciated each word, slow and deliberate, like he wasn’t sure you would understand him, “and you will.” 
Oh hell no. You did not uproot your entire life to be spoken to like that. “Do not speak to me like a child, Rhysand–”
“Then stop acting like one,” he scolded, like you were the one being unreasonable, “this is your duty to your court, what I pay you to do. If you won’t do what needs to be done to protect your court then we don’t have a place for you here.”
Rhysand’s words hit like a blow. Your sharp intake of breath was echoed by both Nesta and Mor, but you couldn’t see them, they might as well have not been there, your world shrinking down to Rhysand as he regarded you coldly.
“So what will it be?” He addressed you, leaning forward over his desk, leering, “will you do as your High Lord asks of you, or will you be resigning today?” He pressured.
Your hands fisted, ire rising up so fast it made your eyes sting with unshed tears. If you got kicked out of Velaris you’d undoubtedly end up back in Hewn City. And you couldn’t let that happen, not after you finally got a taste of freedom.
Rhysand may like to believe himself better than Kier, but how was this any different from how Kier treated you? Was this your destiny? Undeserving of kindness unless you proved your worth? 
What about you made people forget that you were a living, breathing being? Just like everyone else in the room, you had feelings that mattered, and hopes for your future. You’d been stripped of your freewill for the first three centuries of your life. It was a wonder that you hadn’t gone mad.
Were you only allowed a taste of freedom? Was that Rhysand’s plan all along? Get you hooked on life in Velaris then dangle it in front of you like you were a simple mule, your freedom the carrot held just out of reach.
It made your blood boil.
“My apologies.” You sneered at him, gone was the meek, conditioned wallflower. You meant all the disrespect. In a dramatic flourish you bowed low to Rhysand, making sure he saw your contempt for him when he met your gaze.
 You maintained direct eye contact as you hissed harsh sarcasm at him, “I am at your disposal, High Lord.”
Rhysand’s eyes flared with something dark and aggressive. Time slowed, a pulse of his power cresting over you in a suffocating wave, a preview of how oppressive he could make it if he so wished. Dread replaced your anger, the confidence you’d displayed moments ago dissipating. You struggled to not show how he had shaken you, and by some miracle, you stood your ground. Still, he could probably hear your heart pounding from where he sat.
Amidst the theatrics, your own power had not been so keen on backing down. It had coiled around you like a viper ready to strike, protective, as Rhysand’s prowling darkness prodded your boundaries. 
This version of Rhysand left you stricken, unable to reconcile the egregious behavior with the male you’d had breakfast with just that morning. It felt like his power was tearing you in half, and he wasn’t even exerting himself. He looked bored.
Did you escape the clutches of one villain, only to run into the hands of another? Were you really that foolish?
Mor stepped into your field of vision, mouthing something at you. You hadn’t realized your ears were ringing until the shrill noise faded enough for you to hear her calling your name. The frantic quality of her voice snapped you out of whatever daze Rhysand’s power had cast on you.
Right. Nesta and Mor had witnessed that entire thing. You’d forgotten about their presence in the heat of the moment, your attention tunnel visioned on Rhysand. He had humiliated you in front of some of the most important people in your life. The only thing that could have made it worse was if Azriel had been there too.
Intense embarrassment flooded you, a seed of distrust taking root deep in your heart. You felt so stupid, thinking you could trust Rhysand and his Inner Circle. Mor was still trying to get your attention, but you stared right past her, looking at Rhysand like you hated him.
Hell. Maybe you did.
Mor called your name once more with urgency, moving closer to you, half turned so she hadn’t given her back to her High Lord, but solely focused on you. “It’s the best we could do without inciting a civil war.” She tried to clarify, emphasizing on the ‘we’ as she gestured between herself and Rhysand. 
“You have to know we wouldn’t put you in this position if we had any other choice. I personally promised I would never leave you alone in that city again, and there is nothing our father can say or do to make me break that promise to you. We will do this together.”
Rhysand’s power had receded, but you could still feel it loitering like a watchdog. Something you’d never imagined Rhys doing to you before the meeting. He’d always spun such pretty promises about your future in Velaris, and you believed him.
And now Mor was doing the same exact thing. More pretty promises, but no proof of her intentions to follow through with them. 
Mor’s shoulders visibly sagged, “If you don’t believe me, then look.” She pleaded, offering her mind up for you to read.
You physically recoiled at her suggestion. “I will do no such thing!” You spat back in disgust, “You are my sister, this is supposed to be my family. I will not taint our relationship with my powers in a moment of weakness. You may not return the same respect, but I refuse to surround myself with people I can’t trust without rummaging around their mind for their truths first.”
Unlike some males went unsaid as you fumbled to tone it down for Mor. Your problem was not with her, and she didn’t deserve your harsh words. “I can’t…I won’t….I–”
Frustrated with yourself, you took a steadying breath, emotion burning behind your eyes. Despite your best effort to keep composed, your voice quivered, “I will not be like our father.”
The room was stunned silent, Mor regarded you with sadness, lips parting to respond, but then pursing closed in a tight line.
Rhysand was the one to break the silence. His power dispersed as he leaned back in his chair, acting like he hadn’t just wound you up tight enough to fracture you into pieces.
“So you accept the assignment then?” He inquired, brushing nonexistent lint from the cuff of his dress shirt.
His lack of remorse irked you. Did he not think he could have handled the situation better? Was this how he treated everyone in the Inner Circle? The list of things you wanted clarification on kept growing, so instead you settled on, “Yes.” 
“I’m glad we could come to an agreement then.” He drawled, “We will go over details and strategy another time, when we are all more composed.”
You wanted to punch him in his goddamn face.
“For now, this meeting is dismissed.”
As soon as he finished speaking you stormed out of his office, nearly colliding with Nesta in your haste to get away from Rhysand. Originally you were going to visit the library after the meeting. Nesta had suggested a book for you to read, and you wanted to read it so you had something to talk to her about. But you were too worked up to do that now, you needed to get out of there. 
You didn’t care where you ended up, so long as you put as much distance between you and Rhysand as possible.
XxXx
By step 174 your blurry vision cleared a smidge, too out of breath to cry for the moment. You didn’t have anyone to help you leave The House of Wind, so you took to the 10,000 stairs with the expectation of someone eventually coming to find you. There was no way in hell you’d actually be able to reach the bottom. You began the descent down the spiraling staircase so fast It was a marvel that you didn’t trip.
Any time you slowed down Rhysand’s words would play on loop in your head. The only way to drown it out was to pick up the pace, the exertion elevating your heart rate enough for it to overpower that nasty voice in the back of your head. If you ran fast enough the only thing you could concentrate on was counting the steps you took.
239 steps down, and you had no choice but to slow down to a more reasonable pace. It was a warm day, and you were getting dizzy. The last thing you wanted to do was pass out. In a desperate attempt to keep your mind occupied as you caught your breath you focused on the breeze cooling the sweat beading up on your forehead. You listened to the slap of your bare feet on the smooth, sun-warmed stone. You thought of the color of the sandals you left behind at the very top of the stairs. You pondered on which step you’d discarded your blouse on after it began to cling to your sweaty skin.
Your guess was step 148.
You hit the first landing platform at step 250, slowing to a walk as you panted, hands propped against your hips as you counted your next few steps. Woozy, you let your eyes fall closed for a moment, but the image of Kier sitting in his throne room beckoning you forward flashed across your mind. You flinched so hard you accidentally opened your eyes looking directly into the sun.
It felt like your head had a heartbeat of its own, vision blotching from the brightness. You didn’t know how your day could get any more bleak as you rapidly blinked the disorienting dots away. Glimpses of The Court of Nightmares throne room lurking behind every blink, Kier looked more like Rhysand each time you closed your eyes.
It made your stomach lurch, and you whimpered around a dry heave.
A particularly strong gust of wind ruffled through your hair, and you can almost hear Azriel’s voice reminding you to focus on your other senses. Your mind can lie to you, but it’s much harder for all your senses to be tricked at the same time.
The sunlight, the ever-present wind, the sound of birds, the smell of fresh air. Let nature ground you. 
It just wasn’t enough. You’d only paused for a few moments, but your chest began to feel too tight for your lungs, anxiety squeezing the air out of you before you could properly inhale it. Two months. Just two measly months to figure out what the hell you were going to say to Kier–to your mom, after you’d gone no contact for almost 3 years. Two months to not be petrified of somehow getting trapped down there again.
So you continued down the stairs, pushing yourself harder. 
251. 252. 253. Counting them like Azriel had taught you.
It had been after your first dinner with the Inner Circle at the House of Wind. Mor was a little too tipsy to winnow home safely, so the both of you decided it best to share a guest room. You were feeling antsy, Mor having fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
The House of Wind was so different from Hewn City. Cozy and surprisingly casual in decor, but it was carved out of the side of a mountain. With the curtains drawn, in the dark quiet of the night, it almost felt like your bedroom in The Court of Nightmares.
You had thought a glass of water would do you some good, help you settle enough to get some rest. So you set out for the kitchen, taking care to walk quietly so as to not wake anyone. The hallway led to a flight of stairs, which brought you to more hallways that seemed to stretch on, and on, and on. The homey decor fell away, your balance wobbling with the sudden onset of vertigo. Closing your eyes didn’t help, dizzy and disoriented, everything felt like it was tipped on its axis. You couldn’t place where you were, where you were going, just that you were alone. Fear flooded your senses, and you swore you smelled the dank air of the streets of Hewn City like you were still there.
Azriel found you slumped against the wall on shaky legs, your pulse pounding so hard in your ears you couldn’t hear what he was saying to you. The touch of his rough hands on your bare arms was soothing enough to bring you back to yourself. You weren’t walking the streets of Hewn City. You weren’t alone. Azriel had you.
Each inhale had still felt like you were gulping in freezing cold water, your breath coming in irregular gasps. You thought you were going to die in that hallway, suffocating on fucking air.
Azriel took you to the training grounds on the rooftop of all places. You can still remember the brightness of the full moon that night as he coached you through breathing exercises. Then, coaxed you into walking laps with him around the perimeter of the huge training grounds. He counted each step aloud with you until you had calmed enough to tell him what the hell had happened.
And that was how you and the Shadowsinger bonded over Claustrophobia. An unfortunate thing to have in common, an even more unfortunate first thing to find you had in common.
In the moments after you’d come down from your panic attack you wanted to svirel up and fade away, so thoroughly embarrassed. But now, you thanked The Mother for sending Azriel to find you that night.
It was those same coping skills that led you to working out your anxiety after the meeting. 290 steps away from The House of Wind, and you were sure your legs were going to give out if you kept pushing yourself. You came to a slow stop, soles of both your feet planted on the same stair. Lulling your head back so your face was to the cloudless sky, you closed your eyes and pictured that moment with Azriel. Instead of Kier morphing into Rhysand, you saw Azriel walking laps with you around the moonlit training grounds.
You basked in the breeze against your face, your anger and fear still roiling in your stomach, but no longer all consuming. The relief was short lived, a concentrated pang of despair reared its ugly head, raw hurt so overwhelming it chased the warm memories with Azriel away. It made you so tired, so emotionally drained you felt it in the marrow of your bones. You wanted to just let go, collapse in a heap and never get up again.
Yet, by some stroke of willpower, you remained on your feet. You hadn’t warmed up before taking on the stairs, and you could already feel soreness settling into your muscles. Gingerly you sat yourself down on the steps, resting your elbows on your thighs as you rubbed your hands over your face, spreading fresh tears across the top of your cheeks.
If you won’t do what needs to be done to protect your court then we don’t have a place for you here. Rhysand’s words burned the part of you that had always suspected as much. There was this nasty little voice that lived in the back of your head. It would mock you when you were too content in calling this place home.
You wondered if that voice would start to sound like Rhysand.
The thought broke your heart a little bit more. You wanted so badly to make him proud, to earn your place in the Inner Circle, prove that they hadn’t made a mistake taking you in. The worst part was that you thought you were doing good. Not that you’d believed yourself to be one of them, you were still so new, but you thought…you thought…
You don’t know what you fucking thought.
Curling into yourself, your knees tucked in close to your chest, you made yourself as small as possible. The full body trembling made your sobs shaky, your entire being wobbled from the weight of your failure, your naivety. This was what you got for wanting to do it the right way. You’d never built relationships without relying on your powers to sniff out their loyalty beforehand, never truly trusted on your own violation.
Your father always thought it was a stupid risk to take when you could know for sure. You thought it was an awfully lonely way to live, to never trust fully. Perhaps you’d been wrong.
This was what you get, you silly girl. Kier’s voice taunted from the back of your mind. Or was that Rhysand’s voice? Did the difference even matter anymore? 
The telltale sound of approaching footsteps closed in on you from behind, you couldn’t tell who it was, all you could smell was the salt of your own tears. Maybe it was one of them coming to take you out of your misery, maybe Rhysand took your display in his office as a sign of disloyalty.
The killing blow never came, so you glanced up to see Nesta taking a seat next to you. The last person you expected to come looking for you if you were being honest.
She didn’t look at you right away, which you appreciated. You were humiliated enough without her seeing you wiping your own snot on your forearm. Her icy stare was focused on the view, the only indication that she had run to catch up with you, a few fly away hairs having been jostled loose from her braids.
“You were pretty hard to catch up to, you know,” She leaned back, supporting her weight on her hands against the step behind her, “for someone who doesn’t regularly train, at least.”
Her attempt at humor, which earlier in the day would have made you indignant, fell flat. Instead inciting a new wave of tears to fall past your lash line. You dropped your head lower to hide it from her, but it did little to smother the sound of your quivering breath.
She didn’t try again, and her presence grew awkward when you didn’t try either, but she stayed next to you regardless.
When it became apparent that she would stay by your side unless you sent her away, you found your words. “What if I can’t do it,” You croaked out, voice absolutely wrecked, “Face my father, return underground? What if I can’t do what’s expected of me? What if it’s too much, too soon? What if I lose everything because I’m not strong enough.” Will never be strong enough.
“Then we will figure it out,” Nesta answered without hesitation, “Together.”
You are alone. That damned voice insisted.
“But Rhysand said–”
“I know what Rhysand said.” Nesta hissed, and you startled, your bloodshot eyes meeting hers for the first time since she arrived. She looked pissed, lips pursed in a scowl as if the High Lord was right in front of her. “Rhysand is an insensitive jackass. He won’t send you away because you messed up one job.”
“How can you know that?” You whispered, already knowing that she couldn’t know for sure. 
“Because I’ve pissed him off by doing far worse, and I’m still here.”
You shook your head at her reasoning, not good enough, she can’t know for sure. “You're his mate’s sister, and Cassian’s mate. He can’t exile you.”
“And you're The Morrigan’s sister, and his own cousin.” Nesta deadpanned. “You’re not going to get exiled over a visit to The Court of Nightmares.”
“How can you possibly know that?!” You shouted, one of your hands clutching the fabric of your sweat soaked chest binding as your heart ached. Frantic to believe her, but knowing that you just couldn’t.
“Because Rhysand hates me, we barely tolerate each other on good days. He once threatened to banish me to the human continent,” she rebuked, hands flying about as she grew impassioned, “He loves you. He’s just an overpowered ass on a power trip. You questioned his authority and it hurt his fragile little ego. And even if he was stupid enough to try to cast you out, the rest of the Inner Circle would never let that happen.”
Your nerves were fucking shot. Whatever remained of your bravado frayed with every hagrid breath, it was impossible to stay focused. It was like your powers were waiting for you to be distracted, taking the opportunity to thrash against your mental shields. You didn’t know if it was skill keeping your powers in check, or dumb luck.
Your headache spread across your temples, sharp pain panging behind your eyes. You were already so tired, but the tears would not stop coming. That damned voice, still whispering its poison, adding to the agony. Nesta can’t know for sure, but you could if you just gave in.
You looked Nesta over, her relaxed body language at odds with the determined fire in her eyes. She left herself wide open, she wouldn’t even know if you read her. You’d be in control, your fate wouldn’t be left up to a gamble.
Nesta tried to meet your gaze, and you squeezed your eyes shut, turning away from her. It was impossible for you to think with her piercing stare studying you. What reason did Nesta even have to care about what happened to you? She didn’t say shit while Rhysand was ripping your world apart, and yet she showed up here? To do what exactly?
There was a dull ringing in your ears as your power surged against your restraint, and maybe you screamed, maybe you didn’t. Your fingers went up into your hair, fisting at your roots as you pulled, rocking yourself back and forth because it would be so easy.
And maybe if you gave in, that stupid voice would stop.
Nesta called your name, “I wouldn’t let Rhysand kick you out of Velaris.”
The cry you let out sounded almost feral. “I don’t know that!” .
“No, you don’t,” Nesta acquiesced, “but do you trust me?”
Did you trust Nesta? The question cut you into you like the edge of a knife, your heart answering with a resounding yes.
Wow, did you want that to be true. But that sinister voice oozed like an oil slick in the back of your head. Will you do as your High Lord asks of you, or will you be resigning today? You had trusted Rhysand too.
Even if Nesta wanted you here, did you think she would disobey her High Lord for you? You didn’t know, not for sure. Your power reared up again, and your head pounded at the onslaught. That oily voice so loud it was all you could hear. You could know.
“I-I don’t know.” You stammered, stomach churning into grotesque knots.
“Do you trust yourself?” Nesta continued her line of questioning.
That answer came to you quick, no, and it had you lurching forward, your balance lost as you scraped your knees sliding down a couple stairs. You wretched, violent heaves as your stomach emptied out on the stairs in front of you.
No. You didn’t trust yourself.
“There was a time where I didn’t trust myself either.” It was like you weren’t barfing up your guts right in front of her, Nesta spoke with such calm. “Didn’t let anyone close enough to trust, even myself, I didn’t know how.”
You wretched again, your hair getting in the way. Gentle fingers gathered the stray pieces that had fallen from your updo. You hadn’t heard her move over to you, but she was there, steadying you as you struggled through a bout of dry heaving. If you weren’t so miserable, the tenderness coming from Nesta would have shocked the hell out of you.
Her free hand rubbed soothing circles into your back as she continued her tale. “I hated myself,” Nesta confided, voice raspy with emotion, “so much that I drank myself stupid every night to escape the darkness of my own thoughts.”
Now, the random heart to heart did shock you.
Three years of trying to connect with the enigma that was Nesta Archeon. Three years of getting redirected when you asked something too deep. The most you got out of Nesta was what she liked to read, so you picked up reading just to have a reason to approach her outside of assignments. Three years of one sided heart to hearts, evaded personal questions, and turned down sleepover invitations.
And she decided that now was the proper time to trauma dump on you? While you were half dressed, ugly crying with vomit in your hair?
What a baffling female. The confusion helped you relax, so surprised you were by Nesta’s sudden urge to share. Her hand kept a slow, steady rhythm as she continued to rub gentle circles onto your back, you hadn’t realized how tensed you’d been until muscles you didn’t even know you had started going lax. 
Whatever Nesta was doing, it was working. So you basked in the comfort her touch provided and listened.
“Someone taught me how to acknowledge those thoughts and let them go. To breathe, and still everything else in my mind, and let my mind think those things, but to not dwell, because that dark self loathing didn’t define me.”
The dark self loathing didn’t define you. Her words chipped at something that had been left festering for far too long. Had that been it all along, that terrible voice in the back of your head, had it been self loathing?
“Give yourself permission to feel, acknowledge it, and let it go.”
And it was so liberating, giving a name to what had been festering under your skin. Hate. Disgust. Cowardice. You cried, but not the agonized, tortured type of wails that had crippled you moments ago. This was a release, the type of ugly cry you do when something you didn’t know was broken starts to heal.
You hated yourself. And that was okay, because as you waited for that awful voice to mock you, it never did. You hated yourself, wept so hard you thought your eyes were going to fall out of your skull, but you had never felt lighter.
Nesta found your hand, gentle at first as if giving you time to pull away. Then she held onto you like the simple touch could convey what you were worth to her. “You are the rock against which the surf crashes. Nothing can break you.” She whispered, but the words resonated like she had shouted them at you.
The smile started as a small twitch at the corners of your mouth, but you knew Nesta saw it all the same. You searched for that dreadful voice, waited for it to speak something dreadful, but the quip never came. The smile that bloomed on your cheeks was wide with astonish.
You couldn’t believe it, after 300+ years of letting that nasty voice ruin you, there was peace. In its place was something new and bright.
Hope.
XxXx
The sound of beating wings announced the arrival of Cassian and Azriel a moment before the weight of their landing sent vibrations through the hard stone of the staircase. The two hulking Illyrian warriors made quick work of the walk up the stairs, their casual conversation trailing off once they were within earshot of you and Nesta.
“Ness!” Cassian’s voice boomed in greeting, cheery and boisterous, “I see why you asked for me to bring Azriel now. Here I thought you were acting on your ‘secret’ fantasies finally. The location left something to be desired, but I wasn’t going to be picky.”
Nesta sat shoulder to shoulder with you, so close, you felt her stiffen at Cassian’s offbeat comment. If you weren’t so drained, you’d be cross with her for summoning more witnesses, but the idea of having to walk back up all those steps upset you far more. The adrenaline high from your anxiety had long worn off, and without its numbing effect, you weren’t sure if you could even stand without your legs wobbling.
Nesta sighed, deep and long suffering, but affectionate nonetheless. “Your inability to read the room will always astound me.”
“Good thing we’re outside, there is no–” Cassian’s breath hitched, now close enough to get a good look at your downcast expression, haggard appearance, and odd attire. You were careful to keep your emotions under control, unwilling to let anyone in the Inner Circle see you in such a vulnerable state. Years of cautious composer, wasted, all because of a meeting that lasted less than 30 minutes. You expected disapproval, your emotions had only been met with ridicule in the past, but the apparent emotions flying across Cassian’s face were anything but cold.
Worry. Guilt. Unease. Cassian’s emotions were so boldly displayed, you didn’t need your powers to disconcert them.
Cassian paused in his ascent as he looked you over for injury, but Azriel closed the distance in the time it took you to blind away the tingle of the latest round of tears. Their concern was almost palatable, and being shown that type of care felt too good to be real. 
These males had no reason to care so much, Nesta had no tangible reason to care so much. You were so… you, so replaceable and plain. You breathed through the thought, let it roll over you, maybe that was why they cared so much, because you are you. It had never occurred to you that you were someone worth caring for. Not when your own father never cared. Certainly not after Rhysand gave you the ultimatum to get useful or get out.
You are the rock against which the surf crashes. Nothing can break you. Nesta’s words repeated in your head, sending a zing of determination down your spine. 
“What happened? Are you hurt?” Azriel crouched down, his chest siphon reflecting the late afternoon sun. His questions made you feel queasy, but his presence soothed over you like a balm. This male simultaneously was the person you worried about disappointing most, and the person you felt most safe being vulnerable around.
Unlike with Nesta, you didn’t struggle with facing Azriel. He was inspecting the grime covered scrapes on your bare toes. “Where are your shoes?” He asked you, puzzled as he then took note of your sweat soaked bra, “and your shirt?”
A dark look passed over him, if his shadows could withstand the direct sunlight, you were sure they’d be writhing around you. He spoke your name like a whispered prayer, desperate. His gloved hands hesitated as he reached out to cup your face, only smoothing his thumbs over your cheeks when you didn’t jerk away, “please look at me,” and you did, meeting his amber eyes as he wiped remnant tear stains from your cheeks, “Did someone try to hurt you?”
You knew what he meant, but your explanation caught in your throat. A brief moment of shame overwhelmed you, because here you were blubbering over some harsh words from your High Lord, when people suffered far worse fates than your own every day. Azriel began to tense, an icy cold rage taking form as he mistook your silence as an affirmative.
You shook your head ‘no’, hating the troubling turmoil you had unintentionally sowed in him. His shoulders sagged, the sign of his relief so slight, many would have missed it. It was all it took for the remaining threads of your thin composure to snap.
Azriel all but scooped you into his arms as tears blurred your vision, and you crumbled into him, no further prompting needed. He held you so tight, it was like he was trying to hold all your pieces together for you. His wings flared to keep his balance, and maybe later you’d feel sheepish about almost tipping him backwards down those unforgiving stairs, but you relished in the comfort his strength brought you.
“I-I was–It was–” You couldn’t string the sentence together, “We were…I was–” you tried again but your breathing was off, your thoughts all jumbled, and Blessed Mother, you couldn’t do it again. Any words you’d thought about trying to say morphed into sobs, barely audible, but you couldn’t hide the way your body shook with them.
“Rhysand happened.” Nesta asserted, sparing what was left of your dignity by cutting off your senseless stuttering. She summarized the meeting, but touched on the major points that had triggered your anxiety. She was gentle with the recollection of your part in the meeting, scathingly critical of Rhysand. 
“When I left Rhysand’s office, The Morrigan was getting in his face, and as much as I would have loved to see how that went down, it felt wrong to not check in with you.” Nesta explained like she was coming clean, “ I asked the house where you were.”
It was about as close to an apology you’d ever get from Nesta. You knew from experience that Nesta took her time warming to people, preferring to mind her business and stay out of Inner Circle drama. Once she’d made an offhand comment about being the center of the drama enough to last her the rest of her fae lifetime.
Keeping your head rested on Azriel’s shoulder, you turned your face to the side so your voice was less muffled, “Thank you,” your words carried on the wind, paper thin, frail, but so heartfelt, “for following me.”
Nesta didn’t respond, and you didn’t dare look at her out of fear of getting weepy again. But you felt it all the same, a shift in the relationship between the two of you. Like a bridge branching out, a new understanding solidified in place, and you knew Nesta had felt it too.
You shifted in Azriel’s arms, intending on testing your strength, but his arms tensed to keep you in place. In one graceful movement that had your head spinning, Azriel stood up right, adjusting to support your weight in a bridal hold.
“How about we get you home and clean you up?” Azriel suggested, loud enough for the others to hear, but the question aimed at you.
Home. As in the apartment you shared with Mor. He had called Velaris your home.
Your heart gave a painful throb, all choked up again at the sentiment. Going home sounded like the most splendid thing in the whole world in that moment. You didn’t want to think about Rhysand or Hewn City anymore, you wanted to go home so much it hurt.
There was some rustling, Cassian coming to stand near Nesta. “Wanna race me back up to the house?” His words were muffled as if his lips were pressed into the crown of Nesta’s head. “Winner gets head.”
The swift resounding slap Cassian received almost made things seem normal.
“Are you two good?” Nesta ignored Cassian’s taunting, and you nodded at the same time Azriel responded with, “Yes, I’ve got her.”
A beat passed in silence, all four of you waiting to see if anyone added anything else. Then rapid footsteps took off up the stairs, and you popped your head up from the crook near Azriel’s underarm to see Nesta sprinting up the stairs.
“Hey!” Cassian bellowed, charging after her, “cheaters never prosper, Nesta!”
“Prove it, you overgrown bat!”
If you weren’t about ready to pass out from exhaustion, you would have laughed at their antics. Azriel was watching them, an unguarded fondness in his hazel eyes you rarely got to see. The two of you stayed like that, Azriel watching his friends, you committing his soft expression to memory. By the time Azriel glanced down to you, Cassian had overtaken Nesta’s lead, their figures dots in the distance.
You were a melted puddle of female in his arms, all tension and stress slipping from your muscles as your eyelids drooped. Try as you might, you couldn’t keep your eyes open for another second. Paranoia nagged at you, fear of what you’d see when you finally rested your eyes.
Nothing. Blissful darkness. Peace.
“I’m going to take off now. Loop your arms around my neck and hold on tight, okay? Once we get up high enough, the rest of the flight will be smooth.”
You did as you were told, any other time you would have been a nervous wreck, but you didn’t have it in you to fret. You’d always winnowed with someone, even learning how to land the drop through the wards when Mor winnowed with you to the House of Wind. You’d thought no one had noticed how you avoided the topic, but surprise surprise, Azriel had noticed.
The thought of being up that high in the sky and dropped sure made your pulse spike. Growing up in an Underground City meant your feet were always planted on the ground. So maybe it wasn’t a stretch to claim that you weren’t a fan of heights, you’d never flown with anyone before, but it would make a lot of damn sense.
Your musing was cut short. Azriel launched straight up into the sky, powerful wings effortlessly gaining momentum and speed. You clung to him, hands clasped together around his neck in a death grip, screaming bloody murder the entire ascend. Although you would deny it if anyone asked.
Things evened out once Azriel felt he was high enough, setting a leisure pace towards what you assumed to be the direction of Mor’s apartment. Your eyes were squeezed shut, wind whipping your hair out of what was left of your updo, tossing it across your face.
You must have been quite the sight, if the amusement in Azriel’s voice was any indication. “Are you going to look at the view?”
Your hair was a disheveled mess across your face, the wind burned your already sore eyes when you tried to pry them open. “Even if I wanted to, I can’t keep my eyes open,” It was probably beautiful, but you didn’t want to push your luck, you’d had enough panic attacks for the day, “Luckily, I don’t want to.”
He chuckled. “Next time then.”
Blame it on the fatigue, but you found yourself nodding in agreement. Something you may come to regret when he urges you to fly with him instead of winnowing the next time you travel together.
But maybe it won’t be so bad, if Azriel was the one carrying you. With your eyes closed, ear pressed to his chest, his steady heartbeat lulled the residual tension and anxiety away until all you felt was the security of his arms. You could almost forget that you were hundreds of feet off the ground.
In Azriel’s care, it was easy to relax, he wouldn’t let anything bad happen. It was in that half dozing state, snuggled up as close as you could get to him, that your sleepy mind realized moments like these were the ones you wanted to remember.
Ultimately, Rhysand’s nasty words were a small part of your day. The majority of your time was spent with Nesta, bonding with her in a way you’d never managed previously. Something that would have never happened if Rhysand hadn’t been a dick.
Yeah. You’d much rather remember the day as the Nesta heart-to-heart incident. Or the first time you flew with Azriel.
Drifting into a deeper sleep, you dreamt of the way Cassian’s laughter echoed with joy as he chased after Nesta up the stairs. You dreamt of soaring through the clouds with Azriel, the same fondness you’d seen in his eyes for Cassian and Nesta, but aimed at you.
It may take you the rest of your life, but you would replace all the trauma muddying up your memories with new memories you wanted to remember. New memories filled with laughter, affection, trust, and adventure.
One day at a time. 
Rhysand could go pound sand though.
XxXx
Previous Chapter / Bonus: Chapter 2.5 / Next Chapter (coming soon)
A/N: Don't worry the next part is going to be more like the first chapter. There will be like two more chapters sprinkled in that have a more serious tone, but the rest will be fluff, drama, and tomfoolery a plenty. Stay tuned for cheeky Cassian in the next update!!
Tag List: @f4iry-bell @jediknightjana @microwaveallthedemons @olive-main
@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @5onedirection5
@brieflyclassymortal @hauntedstudentobservationus
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reiding-writing · 3 months
Note
i LOVE your angsts
you can write something about the reader and spencer being apart after a conflict, being childish and sarcastic towards each other afterwards, and then, one of the cases ends in an explosion and, or, fire in which one of the two is trapped and alone, and the other takes risks to save him
who knows, maybe one of the two in the hospital is still delirious and asking to marry the other? anyway, you choose
basically two idiots in love and proud who can't bear the thought of losing each other
thanks 🥺🫶🏻
commitment [ s.r ]
You love Spencer Reid more than anything in the world, but committing to someone for life was not something to be considered lightly. A life or death situation might speed up the decision process a little.
spencer reid x gn!reader || angst || 4.0k ll masterlist!!
WARNINGS: commitment issues, fire, major character injury, miscommunication, happy ending
a/n: happy 29th of february? is that something to be celebrated? anyway, kinda took this one on a rollercoaster ride, enjoy :)
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Spencer Reid wanted a family.
He wanted to get married, have 2.5 kids and live in a house with two cars and a white picket fence.
But he didn’t just want that with anybody, he wanted that with you.
You weren’t sure.
You loved Spencer with your whole heart, you really did, but after your parents’ failed marriage and your negative experiences with romantic relationships in the past, the fact that you’d even been in a committed relationship with Spencer for the last four years was an achievement in itself.
You’d talked about it a few times, but you’d always come to opposite decisions. Spencer wanted to settle down with you, and you were afraid to do so.
Your most recent conversation on the subject ended less as a conversation and more as an argument.
“So you don’t really love me then?” You could see the betrayal in his eyes at you again shutting down the idea, his tone carrying more upsetness than accusation.
“No Spencer of course I love you what are you talking about?” You can feel yourself nearing tears at his question. He was quite literally the person you loved most in the world, and to have him shut down your feelings because you didn’t see eye to eye with him broke your heart.
You spent the next few days staying with Garcia.
You tried to not let your disagreement with Spencer influence your work, but the fact that you wouldn’t so much as spare a glance at each other during office hours tipped off the rest of the team about your situation immediately.
“So,” Morgan leaned his hip against the counter of the kitchenette as you fixed yourself a cup of coffee, neglecting Spencer’s mug on the shelf instead of making both cups at once like you’d usually do.
“So?” You raise an eyebrow at his incomplete sentence.
“What’s going on between you and pretty boy?”
You sigh before he even finishes the question. “It’s nothing for you to worry about,”
“Your lover’s quarrel is ruining the vibes, it is most definitely something for me to worry about,” You roll your eyes at his response. Trust Morgan to find the most unserious way to express his concern for the two of you.
Logically you knew it was because he wanted to tread lightly, but that didn’t make it any less eye-roll inducing.
“So,” He leans forwards a little. “What’s going on? Did you disagree on whether Star Trek or Star Wars was better or something?”
You give him a deadpan stare and he immediately surrenders, raising up his hands as he concedes.
“What else do you have to argue about? You guys are like the most boring couple I know,” Morgan shrugs nonchalantly, and you halt the stirring of your teaspoon in your drink.
Boring? You weren’t boring. Were you? Did Spencer think you were boring? Did he think your relationship was boring? Maybe he only wanted to tie the knot in the hope that it would ‘reignite the spark’ or whatever people said.
“Hey.” Morgan snapped his fingers in front of your face, effectively pulling you out of your internal spiral.
“Hm?”
“I asked if it was serious, Garcia told me you’ve been staying with her the last few days,”
Curse Garcia and Morgan’s no filter relationship.
“Everything’s fine, we both just need time to cool off,”
“You’re sure?”
You have to consciously suppress a sigh at his continued questioning. Morgan was great, but god did he push.
“Yes Morgan, everything’s fine,” You spoke with enough conviction that you managed to convince him of your truth, although whether you believed it yourself was another question.
“Good, because if you two ever broke up I’m pretty sure the whole team would fall apart,” His tone tells you his joking, as does his expression as he leaves you to your coffee, but your brain isn’t as kind as to just let the comment fly over your head, and you’re sent into another spiral as you make your way back over to your desk.
Do the whole team really think of your relationship with Spencer as a vital part of its inner workings? What if it really didn’t work out? What would happen then?
Would the whole team fall into chaos?
You didn’t want to break off your relationship with Spencer. But what if it did happen?
Your thoughts leak into your body language, your shoulders tense as you sit down and your eyes not quite focused on the papers on your desk.
It didn’t help that Spencer sat directly opposite you either. It was like the world was trying to rub your conflict in your face every time you saw his hair in your peripheral vision.
You could feel his eyes boring into the top of your head, but you knew he wouldn’t say anything. It was one of the faults in his character, and yours you suppose, because even if he did ask you what was wrong you’d probably blow him off anyway.
The tension between the two of you was enough for Emily and Morgan to share a glance across the bullpen to each other, although they didn’t have enough time to corner you into asking what was actually going on as Hotch called the team into the conference room.
The silent feud between the two of you continued into the meeting, sitting on opposite ends of the table like you were two negative magnets being forced away from each other by an insurmountable pressure.
It was a little silly you think, to be so removed from each other after a single argument, but when Spencer put his foot down about something, he held his ground under any circumstance.
And so the two of you were destined to lie in a stalemate, sat seething in silent frustration with each other until one of you eventually caved under the pressure.
It wasn’t going to happen.
It was another fault of the two of you. You were both too damn stubborn for your own good, and it was beginning to affect your ability to work together.
You were supposed to be two sides of the same coin. Two gears intertwined and seamlessly rolling off of each other in perfect unison. Instead, you couldn’t even decide on the importance of a half-burned diary found at the scene of the last scene you’d arrived at, the fourth building set ablaze in Fallon in the last five days.
“This guy is clearly dealing with marital struggles, that could be our trigger,”
Of course he had marital struggles, because you couldn’t escape your own issues even when you were two-thousand miles across the country.
“We don’t even know if that diary belongs to our unsub,” You sigh exasperatedly as you slump back in your chair.
“It was a grocery store. Who brings a diary to a grocery store unless it’s something extremely important to them? It has to belong to our unsub.”
“Spencer-”
“You know that I’m more likely to be right about this,”
You can’t help but scoff at his statement, discarding your coffee mug on the round table and causing small brown droplets to coat the surface of the wood from the force. “You’re really pulling the intelligence card? Seriously?”
“Why shouldn’t I?” Spencer shrugs his shoulders with a furrowed expression. “My intelligence is what got me here and it’s telling me that this diary belongs to our unsub,”
“And my experience is telling me that you’re fixating on this goddamn diary instead of looking for things that could be actually useful to finding this guy because you want to feel sorry for yourself by living through his struggles.” You gesture exasperatedly to the book in his hands, becoming increasingly frustrated with Spencer’s attitude towards you.
He might be smart, but you had almost half a decade on him in terms of experience. He had zero right to speak to you like that mid-feud or not.
“You’re angry at me, I get it. Don’t let it cloud your judgement.” You push yourself up from the table with a scowl, leaving your chair pushed out as you exit the station with the door slamming shut behind you.
“You’re sure this is the right place?” Morgan furrows his eyebrows as you approach the house, clearly run-down and looking as though no-one had lived in it in several years.
“I’m sure,” Spencer gave a determined nod as he un-holstered his gun, following the team into the house to sweep it for the suspect.
Despite your argument about the importance of the diary, Spencer had continues to fixate on it completely, leading to a partial name that Garcia had managed to identify and ultimately the house you were now running into.
You feel under-appreciated sometimes. Hotch always ended up going with Spencer’s choices, experience didn’t matter. It was like he had a tattoo across his forehead that read ‘I’m always right’ and everyone else took it as law.
But you’re not going to disobey direct orders, even if you did want to throw all of Spencer’s favourite books into a filled bathtub and watch him mourn over the ruined pages.
“Clear!”
You sweep the house room by room, you, Hotch, and Emily in charge of the ground floor whilst Morgan and Spencer went upstairs.
It was a complete ghost house. There was no electricity, no running water, smashed windows and moulded wallpaper, the furniture looked decades old and above all it just smelled horrific, a mix of leaking waste pipes and faulty gas lines. Were you seriously supposed to believe someone was living here?
“All clear up here,” Morgan emerged at the top of the stairwell with a shrug. “We got nothing,”
“Of course we don’t,” You mutter the words to yourself with a roll of your eyes, silently confirming your own victory at the obvious lack of human presence in the house Spencer was so sure belonged to the unsub.
“Alright, regroup outside,” Hotch called up to the two, gaining a nod from Morgan as he went to retrieve Spencer and bring him down as you exited the building.
“Nothing?” JJ tilted her head slightly as the three of you emerged, met with Emily shaking her head with a slightly awkward expression as she met your gaze.
“Nope, gross, but nothing,”
“Gross is right, it smelled like shit in there-” You clear your throat into your elbow like you’d managed to infest your lungs from the smell.
“Where’s Spence and Morgan?” You shrug your shoulders at JJ’s question heading back to the SUV to grab a bottle of water.
“Knowing Reid he’ll be over-analysing something,” Emily chuckles slightly, patting JJ on the shoulder as she follows you past her. “Morgan’ll get bored soon enough,”
“Are we going or what?” You call out from where you’re leaning against the car, water bottle being waved around in your hand as you gesture your impatience.
“Morgan and Reid are-” Emily stops as she spots Morgan walking out of the front door. “—Reid is still inside,”
“Of course he is,” You grumble to yourself with a roll of your eyes.
“He’s refusing to leave until he’s found something,” Morgan shrugs as he reaches Hotch’s side. “He’s adamant that there’s something to be found in there,”
“God seriously?” You groan out your words as you rejoin the group. “It’s an abandoned shit hole, there’s nothing to be found—”
A loud crash from the house interrupts your complaint.
Loud crashes are never good.
Neither is the bright orange flicker of light you can see through the front door. Definitely not when you’re working an arson case and Spencer Reid is still inside the house.
It’s like all the hours of you pondering how best to make Spencer suffer for his actions completely disappear as soon as the flames are in sight.
You couldn’t be angry at Spencer if he was dead.
The way the wooden beams of the door frame collapsed under the heat really cemented that thought in your mind.
“Spencer—”
Your attempt at running inside is promptly stopped by an outstretched arm that collides against your waist, winding you slightly and causing your expression to turn from fear to anger at the person who’d interrupted your attempt to vacate Spencer from the building.
“What are you doing?!” You push Morgan’s arm away from you harshly as you attempt to bypass him, but you don’t even get two steps forward before his arm is again blocking you from running into the burning building. “Get off me!”
“You can’t just run into a fire-” You continue to struggle against Morgan’s grip as he pleads his case to you, causing his voice to strain from the exertion of trying to keep you in one place.
“Morgan if you don’t let me go right now I swear to god-” Morgan withstands your threats with his strength, and you’re becoming increasingly resentful at just how much effort he’d gone through to stay physically fit.
“The fire department are on their way-” JJ’s voice is soaked in concern as she speaks, both hands clenched tightly around her phone as she stares into the open door of the house and the yellow-orange light that is quickly enveloping anything visible inside it. “They’re four minutes out,”
“Four minutes isn’t fast enough-”
“Hey-” Morgan continues to struggle against your writhing, planting both of his hands firmly against your shoulders and shaking them slightly in attempt to get your attention. “He’s going to be fine.” The uncertainty in his gaze tells you the opposite.
By the time you hear the sirens of fire engines rounding the street-corner, you don’t have the mental energy to feel relieved. All you can do is stare into the raging inferno that encapsulates the entire ground floor of the house and pray desperately that it didn’t manage to climb up the stairs. You know you’re being too optimistic.
You barely compute the obvious when a stretcher is prepared in front of the entrance, only coming to when you hear a worried gasp emanate from Emily at your side as Spencer is laid down on it after being recovered from the house’s master bedroom, very clearly unconscious and less clearly still breathing.
“Breathing is shallow, pulse is weak, we need to get him on oxygen,” The EMTs converse between themselves as they rush the stretcher into the fire ambulance, leaving you and your team to stand idly on the sidelines as both the fire and Spencer are taken care of by the firefighters on the scene.
You pace the waiting room on your heels, the sharp contact of your feet on the marbled floor leaving small shock waves to shoot up your legs as you walk. You couldn’t just sit down, you weren’t going to relax in a chair whilst the love of your life was possibly dying of asphyxiation. You were worried, terrified, and you had to release that nervous energy somehow.
If Spencer was here right now you’re sure he’d reprimand you for your nervous habit, rattling on about how heel-striking is dangerous for the health of your legs as it compresses your entire weight into a single point that can have bad impacts on your bones. Thinking about it just makes you feel worse, making you pace more and ultimately creating a self-fulfilling cycle where the more you thought about what he’d say the worse your actions would get.
At least you were actually in the hospital waiting and not back in the station waiting for a call. God knows you’d be more of a burden to the rest of the team than a help right now.
“Visitors for… Spencer Reid?” The nurse checks the clipboard in her hands as she speaks, and the second you hear the first syllable of his name you’re diverting your pacing to walk straight up to the nurse’s side.
“He’s awake but dreary, and he’s refusing any medication to help with the pain in his esophagus,” The nurse explains his conditions to you as she leads you down the hallway, shrugging her shoulders slightly at the mention of his refusal of pain medication.
“He can’t take narcotics, do you have any substitutes? NSAIDs?”
The nurse nods slightly at your explanation, checking her clipboard once more as she stops you at a wooden door. “I’ll have a look and see what I can find,”
“Thank you,” You give her a small nod and a smile as she leaves you at the door, suddenly even more nervous than you were in the waiting room. Not only was Spencer now in recovery for smoke inhalation and minor burns, the last ‘conversation’ the two of you had was an argument. A stupid, petty argument because you were both stubborn assholes who couldn’t agree to disagree on anything.
What if he didn’t want to see you? You were probably the last person he wanted at his bedside right now after everything that’d happened. Maybe you shouldn’t go in and see him.
Your hand is already opening the door. Okay, well, too late to second guess things now.
“Hey Spencer…” Your voice is barely a whisper as you enter the room, door shutting seamlessly behind you as you walk towards his hospital bed, fingers ringing together as a work around to release all of the nervous tension in your body without bursting into tears. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I ate a campfire-”
His words are enough to break the small tension between you, and you laugh softly in a mix of relief and worry. At least he was alright enough to be able to speak properly. The burn on his arm looked pretty bad though.
“You look like you ate a campfire,” You approach his hospital bed slowly, taking a seat on the plastic chair at his side and gazing over him with an entirely pitiful look in your eyes.
“I’m okay…” It was like he could read your mind, then again your sure that most people would be able to see how distraught you were right now, but Spencer was always the first to notice, and he languishly reached his hand out to rest against your knee.
You started crying the minute his fingers made contact with your slacks.
“I’m so sorry-” It felt a little silly to be crying in front of someone who’d just been trapped in a burning building and was probably experiencing an insane amount of pain from the lack of medication, but emotions don’t always follow logical boundaries. “I’ve been so- horrible to you and you didn’t deserve it at all-”
You’re sure you look like an absolute mess by now, tears staining your cheeks from your crying, a blotchy complexion from your stress, wrinkled clothes and ruined hair from constantly messing with them to try and find a release for all of your anxiety, but the way Spencer looks at you would have you assuming you’d stepped right off a runway.
“You don’t have anything to apologise for,”
“But-”
“Nothing.” Spencer shakes his head to the best of his ability as he shuts down your rebuttal, and he shifts his hand upwards to lie over your two hands clasped in your lap. “I shouldn’t have tried to pressure you into something that you’re not ready for, that was my fault, and for that I’m the one who needs to be saying sorry,”
“No I get it-”
“I made you uncomfortable and upset and that was never my intention,” Spencer continues to cut off your attempts to speak, something he’d usually rather die than do to you - or anyone for that matter - but deemed a necessity to stop you from lumping all of the blame on yourself when you had done nothing more than establish a boundary. A boundary that Spencer didn’t respect.
“I love you, and I want to spend every waking hour I have in your presence, I want to sleep with you in my arms and wake with you by my side. I want to experience every up and down with you and keep you safe and loved at every instance,” Spencer gives your hand a small squeeze as he looks at you, your reflection in his eyes one of pure beauty and perfection. “I didn’t do that for you in our last disagreement, and I can only hope that you’ll forgive me and allow me to make up for that moving forward,”
Spencer’s fingers ghost over the back of your hand, pressing small circles into the dips between your fingers and gently massaging your skin. “I want to do nothing more than love you, and a piece of paper and a pair of rings won’t change that either way.”
You swear that you melt with every word that leaves the boy’s mouth, and if he wasn’t currently hospital bound you’d smother his face in kisses until he couldn’t breathe anymore.
In respect for his condition you turn you affections to his hand instead, holding it up to your face and pressing deft kisses against the curve of each of his knuckles, silent tears still sliding down your cheeks. Tears of a different trajectory this time, filled no longer with guilt and frustration and instead replaced with the realisation of just how much you mean to Spencer Reid.
“I love you so much,” Your lips brush the back of his hand as you speak, his fingers dampening with the lingering moisture of your tears as you hold his hand like it’s the only thing anchoring you to the earth. “So much.”
The smile that breaks out on Spencer’s face could cure any ailment in your mind within seconds. “I love you too,”
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watchmegetobsessed · 11 months
Text
THE FINAL SHOW
A/N: last night was a rollercoaster of emotions and i still can't believe love on tour is over, but it will always have a special place in my heart. one thing is for sure, im sill here and i will continue writing for this amazing human until he returns onto the stage where he belongs.
WORD COUNT: 2.6k
SUMMARY: You made a promise in the beginning of Love On Tour and now it's catching up with you and though your heart wants you to keep your word, you know it's not that easy, because it's about your boss, the person who matters the most to you.
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You should have learned by now that Harry Styles never forgets.
He remembers every birthday, anniversary, every story anyone tells him, he remembers fans he has interacted with and he is extremely good with names. It’s definitely one thing you admire about him.
But know this tiny detail about him did not teach you to watch what you say around him, because he will recite your words even years later.
It’s been an on and off tango between the two of you for a long time. As his assistant, you’ve been dancing on the line of being professional and jumping into his bed whenever he does as so much as looking at you with those stupid, gorgeous eyes. He is your job, you keep telling that to yourself, but deep down you know he is more than just that.
He is… everything.
It would be easier if he only saw you as his assistant, but that’s not the case. Just how you caught those certain feelings, Harry has shown interest towards you, on several occasions, flirting with you bluntly, asking you out every possible chance.
And each time, when you turned down, a voice in your head screamed at you, but your rationality has been stronger so far and it hasn’t let you take that leap that would change everything forever.
Now, back to his immaculate memory.
You’d been working for him for over a year when the first European leg of Love On Tour was about to start, the residency shows were set to be announced and along with the South American, Australian and Asian dates and another full European leg was in the planning phase. Tour was looking endless and everyone on the team was joking that there won’t be a final show of Love On Tour.
Following another meeting in Harry’s LA home you were hanging out by his pool, something that happened quite often, because he liked to share what he had with the people around him. The sun was setting and you both had several glasses of wine, so the business talk has been long forgotten when you ordered food for the two of you.
You were in the shallow, lounge area of the pool where you could sit in the water and you were enjoying a hamburger while he was swimming around, watching you. You caught him looking right in the middle of a huge bite.
“What?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at him as he swam closer with a grin on his face.
“You look amazing.”
You snorted out loud, mouth full and probably smelling like onions.
“I’m sure I do,” you sarcastically said. “Is this what turns you on? Chewing and onion smell?”
“No. It’s you.”
You stopped and gave him a suspicious look. He moved over and sat beside you.
“You turn me on, Y/N,” he added, when you didn’t say anything, just leisurely staring back at you, as if he hadn’t just overstepped a major boundary between boss and employee.
“Harry, stop,” you mumbled, putting the remainder of your burger to the plate at the edge of the pool.
“What? You started it with guessing what turns me on.”
“It was just a joke!”
“Okay, and I told you the truth.”
“You definitely shouldn’t be saying shit like that to me.”
“Too late, already did, so I think we could take it even further,” he shrugged and you couldn’t hold back a laugh.
“Oh, you are something else, Harry Styles, you know that?”
“That didn’t sound like a no to me,” he grinned, moving just a tad bit closer, but still respecting your private space. “I really want to kiss you, Y/N,” he bluntly added and you knew it was the wine talking from him, sober Harry wouldn’t have said those words out loud, but it didn’t fail to make you feel dizzy and weak.
“That’s not gonna happen now,” you shook your head.
“Okay, if not now, then when?”
“You are so annoying,” you laughed again. “You know what? You can kiss me when Love On Tour officially ends,” you joked.
It was a genuine joke. Anyone would have known you didn’t mean it, but it was Harry you said it to and the moment the words left your mouth they burned into his memories forever.
“Alright then,” he simply said, splashed you and then swam away.
That was the beginning of 2022. You slept off the wine and though you never forgot you said it, you didn’t keep track of the promise you initially made.
Harry did, however.
Not one day went by without him thinking about those words and it was the only reason he was looking forward for the very last show of Love On Tour.
He’s been acting weird, probably since about Vienna. With two weeks until the end of tour and his break, your workload hasn’t gotten less so you couldn’t really care about his weirdness, but when you’re out for dinner in Barcelona with the band and some other crew members and two rounds of drinks have been consumed already, you finally acknowledge the change.
“Hey, you alright?” You poke your elbow into his side, stealing a fry from his plate. Shrugging, he pushes the plate closer to you.
“Just thinking.”
“About what?” you ask, snacking on his leftover fries.
“The end of tour.”
Freezing you instantly remember to that one conversation in his pool. You peek at him and find him already looking at you with a gaze that burns right into your heart. Clearing your throat you turn back to the fries and pretend like you don’t remember the promise you made.
“Just two more weeks and you’re free.”
“That’s not how I see it.”
“Mmm,” you hum, but don’t dare to look at him. You can feel his eyes on the side of your face, but luckily, before he could bring up anything specific Mitch call out his name from across the table and you’re relieved. For now.
It’s almost midnight when you all head back to the hotel and you and Harry somehow end up at the back of the group. The elevator is too full for the two of you to get in as well, so you wait for another round. While you’re still ignoring to look at him, he is very much only looking at you, it feels like.
The elevator returns and you get inside, but Harry pushes the button for the top floor.
“Hey, that’s—“
“I want to show you something,” he hold up a hand.
The top of the hotel has a rooftop bar with an amazing view of the city, the perfect grid of the streets, it’s breathtaking.
“I knew you would like it,” he smiles, leaning against the railing next to you, with his back towards the view, as if he was way more interested in seeing you than the city.
“Because you know me so well,” you chuckle softly.
“I do,” he answers quietly. “We have only four more shows.”
“Mhm,” you nod, eyes glued to the view in front of you.
“The final show of Love On Tour is in ten days.”
“I’m glad you keep track of the shows so well, I feel like I’m not even needed anymore,” you joke with a chuckle, but when you finally look at him you know why he is bringing all of these up.
“Do you remember what you promised would happen when the last show finally comes?”
“Harry…”
“You do,” he simply says. “I know you as someone who keeps her word.”
“It’s… Harry, that was never a promise, I was just joking!”
“None of it is a joke to me, Y/N.”
You roll your eyes, but hate the effect his words have on you. Like your whole inside is on fire, begging to just give in finally, to end this years long game and act on the feelings you’ve been pushing down so hard all this time.
Sighing you cross your arms over your chest. You want to make fun out of it again and say that it was all just about a kiss, but you know, you both know that it would never stop at one kiss, that it’s bigger than that and it would consume you fully if you let your walls down.
“This seems like a big mistake,” you tell him honestly. “What if it goes wrong and… I lose my job… and you.”
Your voice breaks at the end and you can’t look him in the eyes. You’ve spent endless nights thinking about what would happen if you gave in and it all went downhill. Your job might be the last thing on the list of worries, what really scares you is to imagine a version of your life without him because.
It would break you.
“Being scared of the wrong outcome will keep you away from the best things in your life, Y/N.”
“Did you just call yourself the best thing in my life?” you try to joke, but he just gives you a look.
“Don’t think about the what ifs, if you get there, you’ll figure it out. You always do. We always do.”
“This is not that simple,” you shake your head. “You know it’s not that simple.”
“But it is,” he chuckles, but you keep shaking your head. “Figuring out my feelings has never been this simple.”
There’s a heartbeat of silence when not even you know whether you’re about to give in or not and for a split second it actually feels like you’re breaking, but something pulls you back last minute.
“No. And we should be heading back, you have a show tomorrow. You need to get some rest.”
You step away from the railing and start walking back, but when you notice that he’s not coming you turn around and see him staring at the city this time. Opening your mouth you’re about to call out for him, but then change your mind and let him be, walking back to your room.
When you see him again in the morning he doesn’t bring it up again and you’re convinced he won’t bring your promise up again.
The last show has everyone all over the place, you’ve been running around since about six in the morning, picking up people, making sure the hotel check-ins go smoothly and everything is exactly how it should be. The day feels like a whole week, but the excitement and bittersweet sadness that’s been wrapped around everyone is what keeps you up on your feet still.
But the real weight of the last show hits the moment it finally starts.
This is the time when you have nothing to do so you watch Harry perform every night, meaning that this is the 169th time you’re seeing him take the stage and perform just as perfectly as he did at the first, the fiftieth and one hundredth show. He always gives his absolute most. Not just at his shows, but in his life as well. That’s one of the million reasons you fell for him.
Medicine has everyone dying, all 100 thousand people out there and then Harry starts giving his speech that’s extra long this time, talking about how grateful he is for everything, for his fans, his friends and family and it’s one big emotional mess and you can’t help but cry a bit as well, watching from the side.
“The last two years of my life, the last two years of this tour has been the greatest experience I could ever ask for…”
“I see it, the love, in how it’s affected all the people around me, continue to affect people. It does not end with this tour.”
“I love you, thank you so much.”
Screaming rolls over the crowd as an answer and you expect him to go on with starting As It Was, but then he starts talking again.
“There is one more thing I want to say tonight. I have learned and experienced so much in the past years. I will be forever thankful for the memories we’ve made.”
There. He said we, he switched up his narrative. That’s how you know he is not talking to the crowd. He is talking to you.
“If this is it, if it never goes beyond this, I would live a happy life. With you forever in my heart. But if we ever take it further, if we ever take the risk and reach for the stars and we might fall… just know that I will always be here for you. You can never lose me. No matter what. I love you.”
You suck on your breath, covering your mouth with your hand as you stare at him stand in the middle of the stage, staring out ahead of him, the crowd screaming for him, oblivious to the one sided conversation that just happened between you and him.
As It Was starts and the show carries on towards the end, but you’re still frozen in that moment and when the show ends and you watch Harry drop to his knees on the stage, you know things will never be the same.
Backstage is like a tornado once the show is over, the band walks off the stage and Harry is following right behind with Lloyd by his side, but when he sees you standing still in the middle of the madness, he drops out of the conversation right away and stops a few feet away from you, letting you decide where to go now.
“You promise?” you breathe out, your throat closing up. “You promise I will never lose you?”
“I thought that was clear by now, Y/N,” he replies, his chest still rapidly rising and falling. “But if you need me to actually say it, I will. You will never lose me, no matter what. It will always be you and me and I know you’re scared, but I’m—“
He doesn’t get to finish, because you’re already throwing yourself into his arms and kissing him.
It doesn’t matter that the whole crew bursts out into screaming and whistling, that you’re giving a second show with the way you get lost in each other, because in your little bubble it’s just you and Harry and everything that’s been building between the two of you.
Every joke, every teasing comment, all the stolen looks and suppressed feeling that was never acted on is now free, they all burst out of your chest and into the electricity that’s snaking around you as you keep taking more and more of him, hungry to make up for the past years.
The clapping dies down when you finally pull back, forehead resting against his, his hands holding you so tight as if he was afraid you might run away any moment.
“You kept your promise. I knew you were trusty, Y/N Y/L/N,” he chuckles, pecking your lips softly again as you laugh at his words, finally opening your eyes to look at him.
“Actually I feel like I kissed you. I promised you could kiss me, so technically—“
“Shut up, you’re already getting on my nerves,” he laughs, kissing you over and over again, so your promise is actually fulfilled. “Can’t wait for you to do that every day for the rest of my life.”
“I thought that was part of my job too, have I not been doing that?” you tease, lips moving against his as you speak.
“You have, but you can take it to a whole new level now,” he laughs, pulling you against him before letting you go and popping the bubble, though his hand never lets go of yours, not while everyone congratulates him, not when the final show celebrations start and not when he pulls you into his hotel room to end this journey of Love On Tour with you by his side, but also start a new chapter.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
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nanawritesit · 5 months
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Jungkook Imagine: Taking Care of Him When He Gets Sick From Playing with Bam in the Rain
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a/n: i think i might have accidentally deleted the actual request for this when i was cleaning out my ask box, but i know for a FACT it was requested 😤 it’s been on on my to do list for a while now, and i miss him sm rn, so here it is :)
TW: sick!jungkook, it’s just a cold but he’s kinda whiny, living together, mentions of food
—————
“Jeon Jungkook, you get back here right now!” you screeched from the back porch steps. It was pouring down rain and chilly, but you were safely tucked under an awning with one of your boyfriend’s sweatshirts on.
“Don’t worry, honey!” he yelled back, chasing his pet doberman all around the backyard. “Bam loves the rain!”
“It’s not Bam I’m worried about!” you retorted. “You’re not wearing a coat or hat, and you’re gonna get sick!”
“I’m not going to get sick!” he argued, putting his hands on his hips sassily. “Don’t worry about me! Just go back inside, I’ll be there in a bit. I just want to make sure Bam gets some exercise in.”
You rolled your eyes and turned back around to walk into your shared apartment. Songie and Paengie, your other two greyhounds, cocked their heads at you as you entered the living room.
“Kids, your daddy is an idiot.” you sighed, petting their heads.
—————
“Ugghhhh….” you heard your boyfriend moan from his bedroom.
You laughed to yourself as you finished preparing his soup. Oh how you loved being right.
Picking up the bowl and a big glass of water, you made your way down the hall to where he laid in his bed, bundled up in a million blankets.
“There’s my beautiful nurse…” he beamed with a crooked smile when he looked up and saw you. All three dogs perked up from their places on the bed, looking at you with wide eyes.
You gave him a warm smile and sat down on the bed next to him. “I made you some chicken noodle soup. And here’s some water, you’ll need to stay hydrated.”
“You’re the best, baby.” he pouted affectionately, sitting up to take the bowl from you. He winced as he did so. “Ah, it hurts to move…”
“Your muscles are just weaker because your body’s trying to fight off the infection.” you explained with a small smile.
“Is that why I’ve been so tired?” he asked, eyes sparkling innocently. You would think he’d never been sick before.
You nodded in confirmation. “You’ll need to get lots of rest to get better.”
He blew on a spoonful of the soup, then ate it slowly. His eyes squinted shut at the warmth and comfort of the meal. “This is so good. Literally the best thing you’ve ever cooked for me.”
You scoffed dramatically. “Ouch, thanks darling.” you grumbled sarcastically.
“No, I didn’t mean it like that!” he pleaded, reaching for your hand. “I just meant that it’s really touching that you’d take the time to make me soup while I’m sick!”
“I know, baby.” you shushed him, brushing some of his hair back. “I was just teasing.”
He breathed a sigh of relief, going back to his soup. “That isn’t a very nice thing to do to a sick person.”
“Well, if you had listened to your partner, you wouldn’t be sick right now.” you quipped back, a satisfied smirk on your face.
“Yeah, you’re right…” he sighed in defeat. “I definitely learned my lesson.”
You grinned triumphantly. “Good boy. Have you been feeling any better?”
“Not really. My throat still hurts and my nose is runny.” he complained. “But having you take care of me makes me feel a bit better.”
You smiled, squeezing his hand. “It’s no trouble. I’m not heartless after all. Hearing you admit I was right is reward enough.”
He chuckled at your cheekiness. “If I wasn’t so sick right now, I’d kiss you.”
“Awh…” you pouted, rubbing his thigh comfortingly. “When you’re better you can give me the biggest kiss in the world.”
“That’s all the motivation I need.” he grinned hopefully.
“Alright then, finish your soup and water and go straight back to bed.” you instructed, ruffling his hair a bit before you stood up to leave. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Yes, nurse.” he replied, giving you a theatrical salute.
You chuckled, then leaned forward to give him a quick kiss on the forehead.
“I love you, Y/N.” he whimpered as you opened the door.
You turned around momentarily to smile at him. “I love you too, baby. I hope you feel better soon.”
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lovepookie · 5 months
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♡︎ how enha would ask for a kiss!
♡︎ disclaimer: i am passive-aggressive and sarcastic, so please know im joking!! also i love these men lets bfr 😔
♡︎ warnings: cursing, kissing, suggestive in jake’s and kind of in jay’s?, please lmk if i missed anything!
heeseung ༉‧₊˚.
hmmm okay heeseung! the devil himself. 😣
i think it’d be un-natural for him to ask for a kiss,, like he’d easily just lean in with a smile and kiss you—and you’d let him!
but, I feel like if he does ask beforehand, it’s because he’s doing it on purpose to catch you off gaurd.
like if Jay meticulously thinks about asking before doing so,, this dude would just do it out of nowhere
like simply because you two are having fun type shit.
you’re mid laugh and he’d just stare at you like….my god…that’s the love of my life. :((
“Oh my god, you’re so stupid!” You’d laugh out, hitting him on his shoulder because he sent you a cheesy grin after saying something really idiotic LMAO
he’d grab your hand as you hit him and wouldn’t let it go, urging you closer so you don’t get away
he’d watch you smile and analyze the way your balled fist feels gainst him when you hit him playfully——and he most definitely see’s the way the sides of your eyes crinkle in happiness.
he’s just blown away 🥹
he prolly has a ~this person is all mine~ type of mindset.
“I want you to kiss me.” He’d say out of nowhere.,,,
LIKE!! it’s a command or something,, not even a question! 😧
bcs, he’s not trying to make it sound cliche and ask lmfaooo!
also he hasn’t had enough time to think about it, he just talks out his first thoughts🤕… damn….
but you’d sit there all taken aback and shocked, still trying to retrieve your hand from him 😵‍💫
and he smiles with this pretty teasing smile,,
all happy because he has you flustered like he always does :(((
“What? You don’t want to kiss me?” He asks, head tilting.
and you hit him again
over and over with your fists
“Lee Heeseung! Stop fucking around!” LMFAOOO
and he’d laugh, and laugh and laugh.
then he’d pull you near, clutching your fists and pulling you close
then his pretty lips are still smiling when they touch yours
all light and teasing…
and you’re still fighting him 💀💀
see! so he’d only ask on the basis to make you flustered, but most of the time he doesn’t really think before he kisses you;; he just does it!
jay ༉‧₊˚.
nerd
would probably do a lot of self reflection before ever asking directly for a kiss…
he also strikes me as a dude who would just pull you in naturally instead of asking really…
but!! let’s say he’s asking lol
He’d definitely do the stare at your left eye
lips
then back up to your right eye type of mechanism 😎
he’s so cool! (i’m trying to act like i’m not phased but in reality jay has me in a chokehold)
anyways,,
he’d really set the moment n shît, maybe there’s a couple candles lit,, maybe you two were having dinner and then he followed you to the kitchen to set the dishes in the sink, soft smiles and racing hearts pounding in each of your chests.
he’d definitely set it up nice and throughout the whole dinner he’d been staring at your lips but missed every opportunity given to kiss you bcs of the way you stared into his eyes and down his soul lmao!!
you made him nervous too okay!!
but suddenly, now that you’ve set the dishes down and turned to leave, he’s entrapping you between the kitchen island and his arms.
would definitely use the “can i kiss you?” line.
yet,, it’s mumbled underneath his breathe for only you two to hear and it totally defeats the purpose because he’s already leaning in, pushing your hair out of your face, all with that jaw of his tilting
you know,,
his 🔪 jaw
and as soon as your lips touch, the nerves are gone and bro is a little too confident
🫥
the kiss is all slow and a bit drawn out and long…you taste the minty gum he just disgarded a few minutes ago…
yeah! this is THAT type of kiss
that’s the only way he’d ask imo…
it’s like he’s asking because you know he knows it’s not a regular normal one he’s asking for 🤭
the vibes just have to be right.
wheeew :((
jake ༉‧₊˚.
AUR KAY!
i feel like any chance he gets to kiss you, he’d ask you before-hand all smooth n shît 🙄
it’s actually upsetting because he knows it does shit to you lmao
and he ALWAYS! asks for one when he feels attracted to you in some way :(
for instance; maybe you’d been trying things on from your latest shopping spree and are currently showing him the outfits one by one
this particular one you just showed him would show you and your figure off just right and boy!!! he would be a heated mess !
hands all over you—no time to think
your bodies are pulled very close together just how he likes it…
and he’d go;
“can i have a kiss? or two? or three??” whilst staring down into your eyes. 😣
and you fall for it everytime!
“yes. yes, you may….”
and his lips are on yours
and-and-and! he he hums into your mouth in satisfaction through the kiss….😧
fuck him.
anyways the energy created in the studio would be for baby making is all I’m saying.
but besides this he also asks in wholesome cute times too !
it’s like he doesn’t have any shame almost—or like he takes pride in asking and initiating things.
like imagine y’all laughing together after a continued stream of jokes that you guys take turns layering with more jokes
and he turns to you, intertwining your hand’s with his pretty upturned smile, his bottom lip falling out from between his teeth as he calms down from laughing
“You-…You make me so happy…I really want to kiss you right now.” He’d say, staring over at you.
⚰️.
AND YOU’D LET HIM!! OFC U WOULD BECAUSE I WOULD TOO :((
sickening.
sunghoon ༉‧₊˚.
well well well 😈
you see, our dear hoonies pride would never allow him to ask for a kiss or any type of affection outright,,
he’d only do that once he’s frustrated by you not intituating things after a couple hints here and there.
so let the games commence ☠️🤡
bro would already have pink in his cheeks when he’d clear his throat like the wimp he is,, trying to gather your attention and let you know he wants your affection
pero (but) you already know him already!
you’d smirk and continue to go about your day whilst scrolling on your phone,, acting as if you don’t know what he wants LMAOO
bro would mess with the hem of your shirt or shamelessly crawl his fingers into yours in a non-invasive way so as to not take your full attention in one go because he’s scared you’ll figure him and his needy tsundere self out
jokes on him,, you know exactly wtf he’s doing LMFAOO
he’d continue to clear his throat, getting closer and closer to you before you’d finally utter some words to help him out;
“hoon? you need something?” you’d ask, eyes taking a moment to look at him for the first time in ages.
he’d blush and shoot you a frown,, embarrassed to even get to this point.
“no, not really…do you want to like…do something?” he’d ask.
by this time he’d see the teasing smile make its way onto your face and would groan out in feisty frustration.
“oh my god, you know I want your attention and a kiss…why are you putting me through- a-all of this!?” he’d grumble, throwing your hand away to your side as he walks away LMAOO
poor kid 🥹
you’d laugh and run after him, hands going behind his head/neck and bringing him down to your level, your lips finally connecting.
he’d blush but his stubbornness for your affection wouldn’t allow himself to pull away,,, and THEN his hands would confidently make their way to your sides finally.
see,,,
he just needs a lil ~push~ is all ! ☝️
help the boy out!! 😭
sunoo ༉‧₊˚.
mkay, so I think sunoo is a sweet and cute uwu baby…and I think the way he asks for a kiss would be the same :((
but tell me why!?!?
i think he’d be kind of smooth with it…
like
y’all are in the same room, maybe you’re on the bed with him, his head in your lap as he stares up at you with his honey brown eyes…
you know! THOSE PRETTY EYES 😞
a smile on full display as u play with his hair
and he just stares at you,, taking you in with love :(
then at one point he notices your lip gloss.
“y/n?”
“mhm?”
“your gloss looks really pretty…can I try it?”
and you’re like 😊 😧 😳
because oh man I think he’s flirting!
and he laughs at you as you go pink…
y’all are so cute :(
but he’s not going to stop there—he still hasn’t retrieved his kiss ‼️
“…you’re so cute…can I have a kiss?” he’d ask through a smile, deciding to just be straightforward with it. he’s not going to get anywhere without being direct—by the looks of your flustered state anyways lol!
and you’d nod,, not wanting to utter any words in fear that you’d say the wrong thing lmao
you’d just lean down and peck his pretty lips.
it’s quick!
but sunoo is more than satisfied—and when you pull away he’s pursing his lips to spread the gloss you left behind on them and then he watches as you go even redder :(
he’s picking up too much from his hyungs mayhaps 😟
((the office camera pans to you sitting in a corner,, an absolute blushing mess))
jungwon ༉‧₊˚.
this duuuudeeee
okay hear me out!
i don’t think wonnie ever makes advances first
like the others definitely will,, but he strikes me as he’d never
no matter how much he’d want to
like he’d have to be really serious for him to do it lmao!
i think instead,,, it’d be like you’re already leaning in,, maybe it’s a soft moment and y’all are just laying in bed or on the couch cuddling
because jungwon strikes me as a kid who would never actively do PDA,, but when you are alone he’d cling onto you and follow you around, hands to his sides and his chin on your shoulder from behind
or like he’d play with your hands
OR! hear me out!
bro would put you in headlocks just to be closer to you in a funny way
💀💀💀 jsjsj
that’d be so funny lmao
anyways back to the purpose of this whole thing,,
wonnie would be the little spoon until he turns around because you started to speak on something funny that he wants to hear you say again or sum
so he spins around, your arms still around his waist
like the baby girl he is ☝️😌
and he’s just smiling that ugly scary ass smile
and your faces are so close
so when you go quiet after a giggle and glance at his lips
HE SEE’S IT ALL!
and you’re probably already leaning in but haven’t got the guts to fully go for it
so he’d say some shit like
“are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 😭
LIKE? SHUT UP LMAOO
it makes you laugh msksksksj
and he giggles back too :((
then you’re leaning in for him and muah! 🥹
so u see….
he’d never ask,,; but would instead say some dumb shit to kind of insinuate he wants a kiss
another example;
*gets really close to you*
*small silence*
“you want to kiss me, don’t you?” he’d say teasingly
JSJSJSJS MF?
even tho he got close first??
….
fuck off. :(
niki ༉‧₊˚.
sjsj
okay so…
we got riki up…
this kid….🫥
tbh I think if he wants a kiss, he would never ask out loud.
would probably do some type of gesture or something to get your attention and lead you on to kiss him lmao
for example ☝️
he’d walk up to wherever you’re sat, lean over and just get real close to you,, then he’ll proceed to tilt his head and tap his cheek.😒
tap tap…
with that playful smirk of his smh.
now this is all fun and games..so you roll your eyes but kiss his cheek nonetheless..
then this guy! 😠
he’ll tap his other cheek.
so—
muah.
that one gets a kiss too.
he giggles as you stare at him because you’ve done this enough times to know exactly what he wants next.
his pointer finger goes to his lips, and for a second you see his cheeky beauty…the mole on his chin doing no favors for his pretty playful self.
so you decide to give him the kiss of a lifetime bcs HE should be embarrassed!
not you!!! 😣
you confidently grab both sides of his face in your hands and you let the kiss you plant on his lips last a little longer than a peck.
when you pull away he’s still got that cheeky smile,, but now he’s all red in the face and neck and proceeds to scurry off.
brat! 🙄
(we love niki in this household!)
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2024 © lovepookie
♡ ︎please do not plagarize, repost, copy or translate any of my works. thank you.
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melzula · 6 months
Text
Someone Else
pairings: Zuko x Princess!reader, Zuko x Mai
notes: i was writing smoke and shadow when i realized i should probably give more insight to zuko and mai’s relationship in the fire lilies universe before i delved into the story. also someone requested i cover their conversation on boiling rock so here it is :)
summary: Zuko is forced to confront his past
~ part of the fire lilies series ~
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As Zuko struggled against the hold of the calloused prison guards who were dragging him away to whatever punishment awaited him, he couldn’t help but think of y/n.
He remembered the way she’d struggled against the crystals that held her and his uncle captive in the catacombs and how she’d urged him to go on without her to help the Avatar. Her eyes had sparkled beautifully in the light, and it had been the last time she had looked upon him with love and care. Now when she looked at him, her eyes were cold and void of any love for him. They looked upon him with anger and resentment, and he knew he deserved it. He deserved every last bit of her animosity.
Growing closer to the open cell, Zuko began to contemplate the possibility of Sokka’s plan failing. He feared he may never get to see y/n again and make things right, apologize to her for the hurt and anguish he’d caused, and she’d spend the rest of her life hating him for what he’d done. The chance of never returning to his Princess seemed a far worse fate than anything the warden had planned for him on Boiling Rock.
The guards finally toss the Prince into the cell, his body colliding harshly with the floor.
“I didn’t do anything wrong!” Zuko protests with a groan before pulling himself up onto the sole chair in the room.
“Come on, Zuko,” a voice chides harshly, its owner carefully emerging from the shadows, “we all know that’s a lie.”
“Mai?” Zuko utters in surprise, his stomach immediately twisting itself into knots. Guilt creeps in his gut at the sight of her, and he dreads the conversation he knows is coming. He’d hoped he’d never have to face her again, but it seemed fate had other plans.
“How did you know I was here?”
“Because I know you so well,” she replies sarcastically, her cold glare never leaving his slumped figure on the chair.
“But how-“
“The warden’s my uncle, you idiot,” Mai chides. Her features soften for a moment as she reaches into her robes, the heartbreak and betrayal overpowering her anger for a moment. However, her wrath returns as she presents Zuko with his own letter. “The truth is, I guess I don’t know you.”
Zuko is silent, his eyes guiltily scanning over the scroll. Perhaps it had been wrong of him to end their relationship in such a way, but she probably wouldn’t have let him live to see another day if he’d looked her in the face and told her there was someone else. How can you look the girl you’ve known since you were children in the eyes and tell her you’d only used her to get over your previous girlfriend?
“All I get is a letter?” She scoffs indignantly. “You couldn’t even look me in the eyes to tell me you were leaving me for someone else?! You couldn’t even leave me my dignity and rip my heart out in person?”
“I didn’t mean to-“ Zuko begins to say, but this only seems to anger her further.
“You didn’t mean to?!” Mai retorts before unfurling the scroll to read the letter aloud. “‘Dear Mai, I’m sorry that you have to find out this way, but I’m leaving.’”
“Stop!” He interjects, subtle irritation clear in his tone and his features. “This isn’t about you.”
“Right,” Mai drawls dully. “It was never about me. It was always about her.”
“Mai-“
“You told me she never meant anything to you, but that was a lie, wasn’t it?” She insists, and Zuko’s silence only infuriates her more. “Wasn’t it?”
“…It was,” he relents quietly, his guilty eyes finally meeting her stern gaze. “But this isn’t about her or you. This is about the Fire Nation.”
“Thanks Zuko, that makes feel all better,” Mai replies dryly before harshly tossing the scroll at his head.
Rubbing the spot where the paper had made contact, the Prince rises from his seat and looks at his ex with an empathetic gaze. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Then why did you do it? Were you just dating me to get over her? Was any of it real, or did you just pretend I was her while we were together to make yourself feel better?”
“You have to understand I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way,” Zuko pleads earnestly, guilt clear upon his face. “It was never my intention to break your heart. I thought being with you would help me feel at home again, and in a way it did. You were familiar, someone I cared about. I thought maybe with time…”
“Did you ever even love me?!” She cries angrily. The truth was ugly, and the tightness in her chest was suffocating. How was she supposed to react to the news that she’d been used by the boy she’d been in love with since she was a young girl? She thought she’d finally won his heart only to learn none of it had been real.
Zuko remains silent, and that’s enough of an answer for her.
“You know, you two deserve each other,” she spits harshly, her words like venom. “A selfish Prince and a selfish Princess. I guess I know what you see in her now.”
“Don’t speak about her that way,” Zuko snaps. Mai laughs bitterly in return.
“I hope she’s not stupid enough to take you back. I hope she breaks your heart the way you broke mine,” she utters quietly. “You deserve it.”
“It’s not like that,” he argues, “I didn’t leave just for her. I have to do this to save my country.”
“Save it?” She repeats incredulously. “You’re betraying your country. Joining the Avatar and going after the South’s water bending Princess? You’re a traitor.”
“That’s not how I see it,” Zuko rebuts firmly. A tense silence fills the room as Mai indignantly crosses her arms over her chest and turns her body away from him. “And I hope you’ll see it that way too.”
“I won’t let you fool me again,” she replies coldly. Though her exterior is hard and angry, her heart is crumbling inside. Mai desperately wanted to know why she hadn’t been enough for Zuko. Why couldn’t he love her the way he’d loved the Princess? What did y/n have that she didn’t? Why her? Why not me?
Their conversation is cut short by the prison guard sent to protect Mai from the ongoing riot, and Zuko uses the opportunity to escape the cell and lock it from the outside. Though he’s free from captivity, he finds himself frozen in place by the girl’s gaze. Her eyes are full of wrath, but they shine with tears that refuse to fall. Locking into her intense stare, the guilt begins to creep up on him again. He’ll never be able to undo the hurt he’s caused her, but he hopes that maybe one day she’ll be able to forgive him.
Breaking away from her gaze, Zuko rushes towards the courtyard to join Sokka and Suki in their escape plan. Mai’s heartbroken eyes still haunt him, but the image is soon replaced with that of y/n’s. Unlike Mai, her eyes had been full of sadness when she’d been met with his betrayal in Ba Sing Se. She hadn’t been angry, she’d been disappointed, and that had felt worse.
His legs urged him to run faster now, his motivation to return home to his Princess stronger than ever.
Zuko was going to make things right, he had to. And he hoped she’d give him the chance.
~~~~~
| atla tags: @sirkekselord @chronic-daydreamer @niktwazny303
| zuko tags: @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @taeeemin
| fire lilies tags: @titaniafire @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @xapham @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch
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lovebugism · 3 months
Note
hi!! shy!reader with eddie and love confession???
ty for requesting xoxo — eddie tells you he (doesn't) have a crush on you at a party (shy!fem!r, friends to lovers, 0.8k)
The local freak is greeted with thunderous applause.
Eddie’s late, fashionably so. His hair is wild, his eyes are smudged black, and his smile is lopsided. He makes the rounds across the dimly lit living room, acknowledging just about everyone he sees, and gets handed a drink along the way.
You feel strangely honored when he decides to settle next to you.
He plops down on the couch beside you — where you’ve been alone for some minutes now — with enough vigor to jostle the cushions below you. He doesn’t bother to leave anything more than an inch of space between your thighs. He throws his arm over the back of the couch and flashes a crooked pink smile your way.
“Hi,” Eddie greets, all cool as he sips from the plastic cup in his ringed hand.
Your face burns with his attention. You duck your gaze to your lap and fight back a too-big smile. “Hi.”
“How’s it going?”
“Fine,” you hum, peering sweetly beneath your lashes. “You?”
“Awful,” he quips. Then he beams. “Until now, anyway. ‘Cause I missed you.”
His words set your skin ablaze — you think you’d burn him if he touched you just now. Your chest swirls with the billowing flames. You couldn’t hide your giddy smile if you tried. “Missed you, too, Eds.”
The boy huffs. He rolls his eyes, hardly serious, as he says, “I bet you say that to all the boys.”
You shoot him a half-hearted glare, too pretty to be threatening. “There are no other boys, Eddie,” you murmur, visibly shy because he knows that. It’s why he’s smiling so damn big. 
“Good,” he hums with a lazy grin, letting the tension between you linger for a moment. He brings the cup to his mouth for another taste of bitter alcohol. It shines on his rosy lips before he licks it away. After a second or so of silence, he confesses, “‘Cause I kinda like having you all to myself.”
A weird ache settles behind your ribcage. “I bet you say that to all the girls,” you murmur with an averted gaze, anxious hands fidgeting with the solo cup you hold between them. It’s a joke — mostly — but it comes out more serious than you mean it to.
Eddie scoffs. “There are no other girls. You’re the only person in Indiana willing to give a freak a chance, turns out.”
“Is that why you’re sitting here?” you squint, still impossibly sheepish. “Because I’m the only one who’ll give you a chance?”
“I’m sitting here ‘cause you’re the only person in Hawkins I can stand for more than five minutes,” he answers without missing a beat. Then he tilts his cheek to his shoulder and smirks. “So you having a big, fat crush on me was just fate.”
Feeling seen and half-embarrassed, you turn away. “I don’t have a crush on you.”
“Oh. Right,” Eddie says with a slow, sarcastic nod. “The same way, I don’t have a crush on you either, right?”
And it’s so like the both of you — to confess something so deep by not confessing at all.
His grin widens when you roll your eyes. He knocks his leather-clad shoulder against yours but doesn’t try to move away. Still leaning against you, he continues. “Then it might also make you feel better to know that I haven’t been in love with you since tenth grade, either.”
You peek at him, just barely. “Really?”
“Yeah,” he nods. “And, you know what? I actually want other girls lookin’ at me.”
“Do you?” you hum and face him fully. 
With your chin to your shoulder, Eddie’s much closer than you thought he’d be. Your noses are mere inches apart. You can smell the whiskey-mint-nicotine concoction on his breath. The proximity makes your head swim.
“‘Cause I don’t see you at all,” he jokes with a dramatic inflection, obviously teasing.
The rest of the world is invisible when I’m with you, he’d say if he weren’t such a coward. It could be falling apart right now, and I wouldn’t even know it.
“Not even a little bit?” you press, lips quirked in a shy smile.
He shakes his head. The wild strands of his hair tickle your jaw. “Not at all,” he answers and prays you understand him in his sarcasm.
You purse your glossed lips to the side of your mouth and turn away from him again. Your cheeks feel on fire as you duck your gaze to the hardly-sipped cup in your lap. “Well, that sucks,” you quip after a few moments of silence. “I thought we had something going here.”
The boy scoffs. He drops his arm from the back of the couch to wrap more fully around your shoulders. The musky scent of his cologne swaddles you the same way his touch does.
“Oh, c’mon,” he croons with a lazy smile. “You know you can’t deny our chemistry.”
Your eyes narrow at him. “Didn’t you fail chemistry?”
His lips jut in a soft pout. “I don’t see how that’s—”
“Twice?”
You bite back a grin when he glares playfully at you — the roles now sufficiently reversed.
“Stop being mean. I’m already in love with you,” he grouses with a feigned pout scrunching his flushed features. “Now you’re just rubbing it in.”
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ellecdc · 3 months
Note
We need dating remus lupin general headcanons with YOUR wonderful writing. Please. 🫶🏻
I don't know if this is my best work - but hopefully this is what you were looking for. Thanks for being here with me &lt;3
Dating Remus Lupin Headcanons
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This man was completely oblivious to the draw he had on other people – including you. His quiet, sarcastic, mischievous but kind persona meant he had a lot of admirers that he never did anything about 
I fully believe Remus Lupin was the biggest flirt without necessarily realizing it (or if he did realize it, it wasn’t a conscious action - he really didn’t mean to be flirty, he just was)
Also don’t believe he knew how fuckin’ hot he was: denim jackets, oversized cardigans and knitted jumpers, converse, beanies - like he always looked so comfortable and casual but so put together despite of it?
Stealing his clothes is actually a dream of mine – his denim jacket with patches sewed on and a hole or two????? Need it
Curling up in one of his sweaters and warm socks by the fire? Fuckin’ hell 
His friends knew better than to ever try to (outwardly) set him up with anyone since he was so damn stubborn, so they would just happen to be in the library at the same time as you [the person they’d seen him bantering with in class time and time again] and also just happen to say hey and decide to catch up with you and then also just happen to sit at your table since they were already standing here talking to you anyway.
Forced library dates that neither of you really realized were dates, courtesy of his friends 
Remus caught on after a little while what his friends were trying to do, but didn’t mention anything in case you hadn’t realized yourself; he wouldn’t want to embarrass you
And welcome to the one thing we all sort of hate about Remus Lupin: he of course believed nothing would/could/should ever come about between the two of you
I believe him to be somewhat flighty – the second he realizes he’s falling for you, or, God forbid, realizes you’re falling for him – he hightails it 
Not for long though, I really don’t see James Potter letting him get away with that (Remus is stubborn so he gets ‘his way’ for at least a little before James forces the two of your out of your mutual misery)
I think you guys would grow closer and closer without ever actually saying anything about it:
Sitting beside each other would turn into leaning against one another
Leaning against one another would become the odd cuddle session 
Walking together to class would turn into a gentle hand on the small of your back guiding you through the castle (but also to keep you close) [this is that mentioned unknowingly flirty side] 
Hand on the small of your back would turn into his arm around your shoulder or your hand in his 
And he would prefer it this way, afraid that saying anything would make it too real (flighty), or, that you would deny having feelings for him and that would hurt in an entirely different way
You tried to be okay with it – to pretend that you were satisfied with whatever Remus was willing to give you because, come on, he was one of the most popular boys in school, he was the most well-liked Marauder, he was super smart and a powerful wizard, and he was so sweet to you.
But after a while, you couldn’t deny how much this unspoken space between you was weighing on you – particularly the somewhat routine periods where he’d completely shut you out
Was it you? Had you done something? 
Was he seeing someone else?
Were you just imaging this whole ‘thing’ between you?
He’d get increasingly agitated – almost like he simultaneously wanted you closer to him and further away from him; you’d never know how to help him in these moments
He’d speak more sharply to you, spoke less in general, and downplayed your friendship/relationship when other people would comment on it 
“We’re not even that close, we just study together sometimes” you head him say to Marlene McKinnon
“It’s not like that” he told Benjy Fenwick when he asked if you two were dating 
“She’s just a friend.” He’d said to Sirius, and that one hurt because why would he lie to his best friend? And what about you made it so difficult to see you as more than a friend?
Maybe you really had completely imagined the whole thing in your mind? Maybe he really didn’t care for you at all.
You began to pull away – less study dates, more excuses as to why you couldn’t meet up after class, sitting with Lily or Mary at quidditch games instead, staying at Hogwarts on Hogsmeade weekends – anything to avoid having to face the friend that you quickly realized you were halfway in love with who never even gave you a second thought
He did give you a second thought, though – in fact, he gave you a first thought as well as a third, fourth, fifth and sixth
“Do you think I did something to offend Y/N?” He asked James and Sirius one day – the two exchanged a knowing look 
“Why do you ask?” James asked with a smirk
“I think she might be avoiding me.”
“Does that bother you, Moons?”
Remus scoffed “of course it bothers me”
“I thought she was just a friend?” Sirius taunted
“Sod off...”
Remus couldn’t ignore it anymore – you weren’t just a friend. Never could be in his mind, he doubts. He would be your friend for the rest of your life if that’s all you ever wanted from him – but he’d probably always hold a candle for you; that’s why this divot you seemed to be carving between you two hurt like hell
He decides to do something very un-Remus like and face this head on (thoughts and prayers)
“Hey Y/N” he said gently as he approached your table in the library 
You seemed surprised at seeing him and started packing your things up
“Oh, hi Remus...” and the lack of your usual ‘hey Rem’ furthered his suspicions. “I was just finishing up, actually.”
“Have I done something to upset you?” He blurted suddenly. His assertiveness threw you off kilter – was he...talking? About feelings? You paused in your haste to pack your things
“No?” you said in the form of a question – you knew he picked up on it when the space between his eyebrows dwindled 
“Are you sure? I just feel like you’ve been avoiding me lately.”
You were starting to get frustrated. “What do you want, Remus?” You asked sharply. He winced.
“I just miss you, is all.” He admitted quietly as he played with a fray on his sweater between his tantalizingly long fingers.
“What exactly about me do you miss, Remus? You have plenty of friends; I hardly see how Sirius, James or Peter can’t fill the same role.”
He guffaws – actually guffawed! The bastard. “What are you on about?”
“What are you on about, Lupin? I’m tired; I’m tired of being called a friend while you keep me closer. I’m tired of feeling like I’m being played by arguably the most important person in my life. I’m fucking exhausted – so tell me exactly what you’re ‘on about’ Remus, and make it count because I’m done.”
“No! No, not done; don’t be done.”
“What do you want, Remus.” You whispered dismally. 
“You.” He whispered back
“Don’t fuck with me, Lupin.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle at you a little bit. “I’m not. I’m not, I swear it – I’m sorry if you’ve felt played by me. I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel anything but loved because... because I do – I love you.”
“Love me?”
“Love you. So much.” He professed as he dared to step closer to you. When you didn’t seem entirely averse to his proximity, he moved to close the gap – enveloping you in a long-needed hug. “I’m sorry.” He apologized again.
“You should be” you murmured petulantly from his chest.
He chuckled and pressed his lips to the top of your head “let me make it up to you?”
And he did – you spent that evening on the astronomy tower, enjoying the view of the stars as they melted into the forbidden forest along the horizon and the rest of the Hogwarts grounds – and he told you his secret, that he was a werewolf
You were the first person he willingly told – James, Sirius, and Peter just figured it out on their own and there was no hiding from them
You were the first person he chose to let in – so uncharacteristic of the lycanthrope, but that just went to show how serious he was about making it up to you and garnering your trust
This changed everything 
There was no more pushing you away near full moons, in fact – he got nearly downright territorial 
No one else was allowed to sit beside you – that was Remus’ spot
He was irritable and snappy with everyone, but instinctively melted at the sight of you
“I can’t believe we survived Moony all these years without Y/N – she’s like a sedative” Peter muttered as he picked up the cards Remus had thrown at him in a fit during their game of exploding snap. There was no sign of that Moony now – smiling down at you as you sat curled up in his lap like he had nowhere else he’d rather be
I believe Remus was the king of trinkets – his dorm was littered with little bits and bobs he found that he thought were cool/interesting
He started gifting you little things once you began dating 
An enamel pin that made him think of you 
A small pewter wolf 
A cool rock that he thought looked like the colour of your eyes (you didn’t see it, but who were you to argue?) 
Little themed snow globes
Flowers he found on his walks 
Pretty beads/crystals 
Tealight candle holders 
The ribbon from a box of chocolates he got from his mum that he thought you would like
Acts. Of. Service. This man didn’t come from money, the way he saw his dad spoiling his mum was through his actions – so this caring attitude came super naturally to him 
Fixing up your tea/coffee the way you like before you’ve even thought about it 
Carrying your bags/books for you 
“Your shoe’s untied, dovey. Give ‘er here.” He said as he patted his thigh for you to place your foot so he could tie it for you
If you got sick/under the weather, he’d totally do your homework for you (his friends have done the same for him due to the moons – pay it forward)
I think he’d be so soft and needy after a moon – just melt into whatever love and care you’re willing to show him; give you complete control and take care of him.
It may have been super hard to get Remus to give love a chance – but once you got it, you were stuck with him because he was not going anywhere 
Loyal to a fault 
He’s so afraid of losing good things that he’s willing (and desperate) to do anything and everything he can to keep it [i.e., you]
Thankfully, you make it very easy to do <3 
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myslutwritings · 9 months
Note
BLINKS. Ok so laikkkk. You know how Muzan has that fake wife? IMAGINE LIKE um reader or whatever the fuck it’s called?! FINDING OUT and she’s just standing infront of Muzan Like 🧍🏻‍♀️yo wtf. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE
YES THIS MAKES SENSE! thank you for requesting😭😭
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➤ Fem!Reader finding out about Muzan’s fake wife
➤ SFW headcanons (not proof read)
Muzan kibutsuji x Fem!reader
warnings: kinda angsty also reader does not take shit from men (💀💀)
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Man oh man.
Livid would be an understatement..
Muzan knows you can be scary.
After all, you’re one of those women who doesn’t take shit from men, you’re fiercely independent, you petrify the demon king himself with your audacious and captivating personality.
It was one of the things that attracted this walking menace towards you in the first place.
Now, Muzan does love you, so do not overthink and assume he actually loves his little false wife.
Oh, he couldn’t give a shit about her. But fake wife or not, you’d still consider it cheating.
In hindsight, he knew it was wrong but that didn’t stop him.
Anyway, that thought of you finding out his secret always loomed in the back of his mind.
However, he brushes this off, foolishly thinking this isn’t a humongous deal and you wouldn’t find out.
My god, he couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s embarrassing really..
No one knows how on god mother earth you found out but that night when Muzan returns home you confront him about it immediately. You aren’t going to sugar coat this for him nor pretend like you didn’t catch him in the act? pfft, only pussies do that.
But to be blunt you probably found out because you caught him kissing her in the entertainment district
“Oh, welcome home, dear! Now, do you mind telling me about your second wife? Or am i the second wife?”
Muzan’s response is silence at first. That being the dead giveaway.
You’re honestly just confused, like he already has you?? Why does he need to have this lil side hoe??
Deep down, you’re honestly hurt but you do a pretty damn good job at covering it up with that sarcastic smile of yours.
Meanwhile, Muzan denies it.
This only adds more fuel to the fire.
LIKE YOU CAN FEEL YOIR BLOOD BOILING.
No way he just lied to your face.
I mean, yeah, Muzan is a malicious demon at the end of the day so of course his interpretation on the human population is going to be fucked up on so many levels.
Thinks all humans are naive and incredibly stupid.
Besides you of course.
But the man isn’t a brainless amateur either he knows you’re different from the rest. Another reason why he actually has romantic feelings towards you.
Anyway, since you’re a girl boss, you obviously call him out on his bullshit lies and it provokes full blown fight between y’all.
You try to fight back tears, all these feelings are too much for you to bare.
You’re honestly crying because of how damn frustrating it is.
It’s also important to add Muzan has never witnessed you cry.
Feels guilty now but doesn’t dare to express it.
You manage to soothe your nerves down and continuously debunk the situation.
In the end, you have him backed up into a corner.
Then you proceed to reveal how you found out.
Muzan realizes that he can no longer escape this situation nor lie to you any longer.
Admitting his defeat, he confesses how he obtains a fake wife but doesn’t even feel anything towards her.
Muzan reassures you that he only has eyes for you, only feels these feelings towards you, assures you that he and his fake wife have nothing serious and that he only uses her to blend in with humanity.
You hear him out, listening to his explanation but then ask why he couldn’t just use you to blend in??
His response is that he desires to keep you safe and secured, if the slayers knew you were his weak point they’d definitely kill you so there is his explanation for cheating.
Bro just doesn’t want to lose you. Witnessing your murder would be his demise.
You calm down entirely, however, you aren’t 100% okay with him having a fake wife.
So you just give him an out.
Like, “it’s either her or me” you express in a very sharp tone to show how serious you are about this.
Of course he chooses you, after all, he always would.
Dislikes how you posses this much control over him. Your dominate nature doesn’t sit right with him.
But kudos to you!! He murdered divorced said wife and now there are no more issues. But you still are upset with him even awhile after that. Yeah, you aren’t going to move past it too quickly and because he’s such a manipulative narcissist your guard is always up around him.
But i mean who can blame you? You’re dating the demon king after all.
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THIS WAS LOW-KEY ENJOYABLE TO WRITE!? i hope it meets your expectations and i hope this made sense! I’m working on multiple requests right now but this one was easier and faster to write due to it only being one character.
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hxjikonn · 1 year
Text
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Double Life Lie
Pairing: Baji Keisuke x Fem! Reader
Synopsis: Baji keeps his gang member life from his friend (also tutor) because she think he’s just a normal student who struggles with his studies, how long can he keep this double life from you?
Heads up: Very long and not proofread. Light cursing and name calling ahead!
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“So if Y is a number…and X is also a number…why are looking for X?” Baji asked. “We’re looking for X’s value…” you explained but he just stared at you “We’re looking for X’s NUMBER Keisuke…” you cleared if to him. “Why the hell would you look for your Ex’s number?” He joked, you groaned but also laughed a bit. You playfully pushed him “FOCUS!” You half yelled and he laughed at your frustration as well.
“Alright Alright…I’ll try to look for X’s number geez, who knew you had to play Sherlock Holmes in math.” He retorts sarcastically, “Who knew not all guys with glasses aren’t smart” you joked back, “Hey it’s not our fault we have bad eye sight, ya guys just like throwin’ stereotypes.” He shrugs, “Can I try them on??” You reached to take his glasses but your hand a swiped away…
“Uh no…I can find X without em, get ‘yer own” he rolls his eyes and starts trying to solve the equation infront of him, you shrugged it off “Fine geez, I’ll go get us a drink, you finish finding X” you laughed and walked out his bedroom. When you did though he sighed in relief, you almost found out his glasses were fake.
The Baji Keisuke you come know is a scrawny looking nerd who wasn’t really the sharpest in academics despite how he appears to be. He still needed help with his academics, AND HE NEEDED A LOT OF IT. When you were assigned to tutor him, he looked like he wouldn’t be trouble, after all whenever you’d see delinquents trying to pick a fight with him. He always avoided them instead and went about his business.
When you started tutoring him, you weren’t frustrated and angry when he made mistakes, you found it endearing how he’d start guessing answers based on your expression, and he’d crack jokes left and right whenever he felt like you were getting stressed with him. You liked Baji Keisuke, your friends even thought it was cute that you had a type on nerdy guys.
Baji liked you too, at first he thought you were one of those smarty pants that suck up to teachers in class, the type to remind the teacher of homework just before the class ended. But you weren’t, you were nice to him, patient even though he makes a lot of mistakes, you always listened to him when he goes in a tangent about animals, and gosh you’re were really pretty.
What he made him fall deeper into the rabbit hole though was when you defended him from thugs trying to pick a fight with him, he was close to taking his disguise off and showing those shitheads who they shouldn’t mess with. But to his surprise you jumped in and told those guys to leave him alone. You’re hands were shaking, but you still toughen up to protect him despite it being none of your business.
After that incident, you two went to sit down and eat ice cream at a parking lot, and you told him how ‘guys like that annoyed you’ and how you hated them so much. That’s why he never told you…he never told you that he was part of a gang, he never told you that he also picked fights sometimes, he never told you that the person infront of you is fake and that he was infact a well known delinquent.
He was scared you’d stop hanging out with him and that you’d hate him, so he kept up the act, and still is, he even dragged his mom into it. Though he did had to admit to his mom that he had a crush on you before she agreed to hide his double life from you. He also doesn’t tell Mikey and the others about you, only Chifuyu (because he saw you two hanging out one time).
You returned to his room with snacks and drinks, as you already were munching on a cookie. You settled it on the table and it was only then when Baji looked up from his notebook. Meeting your eyes. You raised an eyebrow at him as he was just staring at you. “Helloooo? Did math finally break you??” You jested and laughed as you sat down next to him and looked at his still unfinished equation.
You frowned “Maybe you need fuel, here, eat this.” and shoved a cookie in his mouth, he almost choked on it, and it made you giggle, smiling at him apologetically “Hey! Are you trying to kill me or somethin’?” He spat out the cookie, “sorry, you just looked stupid” you teased as you laugh at him. He laughed along with you and bit into the cookie.
“You know…if you still don’t get it, we can just continue tomorrow, we can just do what you like!” You offered, he sent you a questioning look “Wow really? The strict tutor Y/n is okay with me not finishing the equation?? What’s the occasion?” He said as he chewed on his cookie.
You shrugged, “I just don’t want you to avoid me like the plague ‘cuz I’m too strict” you laughed and poked a hole in your juice box. He laughed too, and thought of a place to go to, “How about we go to the parking lot where ya saved my ass from getting skinned?” He suggested, you looked at him, playful confusion lingered in your stare “Why there??? It’s just an empty parking lot” you chuckled
“Listen if you come with, I’ll snatch a shopping cart and push you around on it? Deal?” He negotiated, hoping you’d agree, that’s the only place where he could hangout with you and not get recognized as it was far from where Toman roams around. You smiled and teasingly poke his cheek “woahhhh you’re really gonna ‘snatch’ a shopping cart?? Didn’t peg you as a Bad boy Kei” you laughed and stood up to grab your jacket.
“Oh if you only knew” he quietly mumbled, finding it funny and nerve wrecking at the same time, you turned around hearing him mumble something “Huh?” You asked, “I said Go put on your shoes!” He pushes you out the door. You both say bye to his mom and went to that parking lot. Once you got there Baji went to buy you two ice cream so you can sit down and eat for awhile.
“Oh get me a—“ “I know.” He cut off already knowing your favorite flavor, “Want me to go grab you somethin’ else? Those chips you like maybe?” You could only shake your head as your heart did backflips, he remembers these little things about you, “Alright, don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back” he pinches your cheek and leaves to go to the convince store.
It’s been a while since he left now, and you were getting worried acknowledging the fact that this was the place where he got mugged the first time too. You stood up and went to go look for him, marching to the convince store, you saw a guy grabbing him by the collar and swung him to the ground. His glasses got knocked off his face and the guy’s friends stepped on it, breaking it.
You were furious, so you grabbed a rock and was about to throw it at them, when Baji stood up and punched the guy’s face. This took you alot by surprise, especially when he started beating them up, one by one. The expression on his face was something new to you, it was terrifying.
His glasses were broken on the floor, but he could see well, he always had told you he needed them, he lied. He said he hated fighting, but he was beating them up like they were nothing, he told you he never had the strength to do all that, he lied. He was smiling while he beats the life out the guys, but he said he never enjoyed violence, he lied.
You dropped the rock you were holding as tears glossed your vision, and that made him stop what he was doing, looking up at you, still having the blood thirsty glare in his eyes. You shuffled back, shaking and afraid of this person in front of you. You couldn’t even recognize him.
His gaze softened seeing look on your face, then his eyes widened realizing what you had witnessed. He went to approach you, as the gang of delinquents ran away in fear from him. You were about to aswell. “Shit….Y/n…” he called out to you, his voice was the same, but he didn’t look the same, he didn’t act the same.
“You lied?” You asked, voice cracking in disappointment. He could only look down, guilty, he did lie. “So…who was the person I was friends with all this time? The guy who needed glasses to see, the guy who loves talking about animals and takes cares of his cat, the guy that cracks dumb jokes all the time? Was he really you? Or were you just playing some sort of character…” hurt was the only emotion evident in your voice as you asked him those questions
“He’s me Y/n…I’m still me.” He defended, “Really? How can you see me and those other three guys you beat up earlier then? You’re not wearing glasses?” You chuckled sarcastically, tears sliding down you face. “The only thing I lied about is the things I needed to lie about so I wouldn’t….” He trails off, “so I wouldn’t lose you.” He confesses.
You shook your head, not finding it in yourself to believe him. You turned around and started walking away, “I care about you, A lot…” he yells, in desperate attempt to make you stay. You broke “How can I ever believe anything you tell me again??? How can I be sure this isn’t another act huh??” You yelled back, breaking down in sobs and sniffles.
He froze, he realized he broke something, he broke your trust, he couldn’t say anything, “Bye Baji.” His name left your lips like a curse, he only watched as you left in tears, he went back home that day, remembering how scared and hurt you looked, he couldn’t sleep and went to school the next day without rest. He waited for by the school gate like usual, hoping that you would’ve cooled off by now and maybe he could explain.
He didn’t bother putting on his disguise too, it was pointless, he waited, and waited, and waited, but you never came to school, for an entire week in fact. “Damn you messed up that bad huh?” Chifuyu said while eating his yakisoba, Baji huffed, he was annoyed, but Chifuyu was right, he did mess up that bad. “shut the fuck up or I’ll beat ‘yer ass until I feel better” he taunted, he’d never actually do it, Chifuyu was his best friend.
Chifuyu passed him the yakisoba, “how ‘bout you eat this until you feel better instead.” He offered, This was Baji’s favorite, but for the first time he refused it, “dont wanna, I don’t feel like eatin’” he said pushing it back to Chifuyu. “So you don’t feel like sleeping yesterday, now you don’t feel like eating? Damn tell me when you don’t feel like living next so I can call Mikey to beat some sense into you” he says putting down the yakisoba. He was worried about Baji.
“Just go talk to her dude…” Chifuyu nudges at Baji, “Great idea, why don��t I just go talk to her when she doesn’t even come to school!” He cheered sarcastically, “No dumbass I meant, go to her house…” Chifuyu says, “Ya really think she’d wanna talk to me? If you do then ‘yer dumber than me” Baji chuckled. “You really think she doesn’t want you to try instead of staying here moping like a teenage girl who got her heart broken? Come on Baji-san, Y/n always pushed you to try harder…” he says. “She must be confused and have a lot of questions right now, why don’t you go and answer them?” He adds and eats the yakisoba
Baji sighed and thought about it, Chifuyu was right. He wasn’t even trying to do anything to fix this mess, he puts on his school blazer and stands up “Fine. But ya gotta cover for me” he says, Chifuyu looked up, sending him a silent ‘huh?’ As his mouth was full of yakisoba “I’m skippin’ class, if the teacher asks you make up a good excuse aight?” He ruffles Chifuyu’s hair and walks away, Chifuyu groaned but at least he wasn’t getting sad sack baji for another week.
Baji snuck out of the school gates, motorcycling his way to your house, but when he got there, he was just frozen in front of your door, sweating bullets, hands shaking, he didn’t know how you’d react, and he was scared that you’d just shut the door in his face. So he waited a couple more hours just hanging out in your front lawn, contemplating, procrastinating.
He was leaning on his motorcycle and whilst he thinks, thoughts and inner voices going in and out of his head that he didn’t even notice dark clouds were above his head, he only snapped out of it when heavy raindrops fell on wet, damping his hair and clothes a bit. If this isn’t a sign from god that he should go through with this he doesn’t know what is.
He runs to your front door and knocks, he was already drenched when your mom answered the door, “Oh dear! Keisuke is that you?? What are you doing out in the rain like this?? Come in hurry!” Your mom practically yanks him inside. She gives him dry clothes that he’s left here from one of your sleepovers. As Baji dries his hair and thank her, she asks something “new look? Boy you kids sure like changing styles these days” she laughs
He laughs halfheartedly, feeling guilty that even your mom fell for his lies, “Actually…Mrs. L/n, I have something I want you know..” he starts, Your mom sits down patiently listening to him as he tells her the truth. Baji thought he’d be kicked out immediately when he finished, but your mom only smiled at him. “You’ll be good to Y/n wont you?” She asks, Baji eagerly nods, he’d never let anything bad happen to you because of his gang stuff. “Then I have no reason to be mad at you, and I’m sure she’ll understand too…” she pats his back and smiles at him.
“Is she here?” He asks, your mom nodded, “upstairs in her room, she hasn’t eaten yet, maybe you could take her lunch up to her for me?” Your mom suggested. Baji nodded, and took your lunch up to your room, he was nervous but better now than never. He knocks and your door flew open, as you were expecting your mom.
“Sorry mom…I forgot lunch-“ you stared up at him in shock. “What are you doing here?” You ask, fixing yourself a bit, Baji felt his chest tightened with guilt, your hair was disheveled, eyes puffy and cheek swollen probably from all the crying, your voice was tired and hoarse, “What’s it look like? Your food ain’t gonna walk up here itself?” He tried joking, but you teared your gaze away from him, and was about to shut the door.
He stops the door from shutting with his foot, and when he did he placed down the tray on the drawer near your door, “Wait.” He pleaded, “I just need to tell you something okay?” He said holding on to the door knob, “Sorry I don’t talk to strangers” you spat out, with hatred. He felt it sting, much more than any punch he’s ever received. But he can’t just leave you with that image of him, he at least wanted you to know that he didn’t lie about everything.
“I’m Baji Keisuke…I’m a high school student, and I’m in gang called Toman.” He starts introducing himself, you found it bitterly funny, thinking he’s still trying to make jokes, you wanted to shut the door but his foot was in the way, you were mad but you didn’t want to hurt him, so you let him continue. “I’m the first division captain in toman, and I dressed up like a poindexter cuz I didn’t want my mom to cry anymore cuz I keep getting into fights, I lied about the glasses, I lied about not being a delinquent, and I lied that I was a pacifist .” He continues on.
Your grip on your doorknob softened, when you heard this, you never knew this. You opened the door fully this time, as if giving him a silent confirmation that you’ll listen to what he has to say. You had your arms crossed still not meeting him in the eyes. “ but I didn’t lie about liking animals and wanting to own a pet shop one day, I didn’t lie about being stupid too, unfortunately.” He joked and chuckled lightly
“I like riding my motorcycle with my friends, I like training in the dojo with Mikey, I like sharing yakisoba with Chifuyu and…I really like this girl…” he trails off, looking at you. Slowly walking near you, so you wont freak out “She’s always patient with me, she always listens, she’s kind, she’s smart, funny, brave, and god she’s pretty…” he was only a few inches away from you now, you felt heat crawl up your cheeks, still not looking him in the eyes.
“I care about her a whole lot, but I hurt her, I messed up really bad…And I wanted to apologize for being a lying jerk.” He says, slowly crouching down to meet your gaze, “ Y/n…’m sorry, I was just scared you’d stop hanging out with me when you found out I was a delinquent too…” he explains. “If you think that I’m mad at you cuz you’re a delinquent, than I underestimated your dumbface…” you said trying to hold back tears.
“I’m mad cuz you hid things from me, you hid the things you liked to do, you’d avoid places you liked going to, you avoided your friends whenever you’re with me…” you looked at him, “I want to get to know Baji Keisuke not some other version of him. It’s not fair that I don’t even know the guy I like…” you confessed as tears your fell, he closes the gap between you two and hugged you.
He missed you, a lot. He’d probably cling on to you twice as much to make up for the week he didn’t get to see you. “I’m sorry…Promise I’ll be honest from now on okay? So stop cryin’” he cresses you hair, once you calmed down, you pulled away and pulled on his hair lightly.
“Ah! What was that for??” He yelped in pain, his hand coming up to touch the top of his head while his other rested on your waist. “For not pushing me around the shopping cart and beating up guys instead…” you said, wiping your cheeks with your sleeve. He chuckled and kissed your cheek “I could give you a ride around town on my motorcycle instead?” He offered, resting his forehead on yours.
“Mkay…” you quietly mumbled, tired and still sniffling, he suddenly stands up and carries you like you weigh nothing to him, “Alright c’mere, let’s get some rest first…” he walks in your room and shuts the door behind him with his foot. He gently puts you down your bed and rested beside you.
You were still looking at him, surprised. “What? Did ya really think I was paper weight with noodle arms?” He asked cocking an eyebrow at you. “Not my fault you wore that blazer that covered everything.” You shrugged, he smirked and pulled you closer to him.
“Well if you wanna see I could show ya, just say the word pretty girl” he whispers near you ear making you flustered, shooting him a glare “wipe that smirk off you dumbface…” you said before pushing away and turning your back on him trying to hide the blush painted across your face. You hear him laugh, and suddenly you were pulled back closer to him.
Your back against his chest, you felt him breathe, you smelled his cologne, your heart was about to pounce out of your chest, he knows “you better get loads of rest dollface, you’re not gonna hear the end of me teasin’ you when we wake up later” he said teasingly, you tsked and pinched his arm that was draped on your waist. “Kei…I swear, I’m gonna send you home if you don’t quit it” you taunted at him.
“Alright alright! I’ll stop…” he declared defeat…maybe?, “for now…” he mumbles and nuzzled his face into your hair, you rolled your eyes and laughed a little, soon you let the tiredness in you, and his warmth cradle you to sleep. Turning around to face him and peck his lip before you closed your eyes
He was glad you didn’t see, he was redder than you.
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A/N: FIRST TOKYO REV FIC!!! AAAAA THIS WAS LONGGG I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS!! DID NOT PROOFREAD THIS I’M SORRY LOL🥹♥︎
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