#~and i frankly don't have the patience to deal with it anymore~
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I think I've seen this film before (and I didn't like the ending)
Read it on AO3
Both Robin and Steve know that Dustin shipped them. Hard. He was the first one to actually acknowledge how awesome Steve was, and how much of a badass Robin was, so obviously, he was the most insistent on getting them together. The fact that Robin and Steve spent all of their time together, had internal jokes, teased each other constantly, Steve drove her around, had dinner at Robin's a few times a week and, practically shared the same braincell, hadn't definitely helped for Dustin's annoying dynamic to spread to the party. Soon, everyone else was dropping hints about when they were going to publicly announce that they were a couple.
It's something Robin dealt with also at home. Steve didn't lie when he proudly said "parents love me, I'm a catch," because Robin's parents actually do love him. They also seemed eager for their daughter to tell them that they were dating.
Her parents are something she can deal with on her own, but after two apocalypses together, and frankly quite bored of the same joke over and over again, Robin started noticing something in Steve. And see, Robin has a lot of great qualities, but if there's something above all that, it's that she's wicked smart.
So, she started paying attention to their tease, trying to understand why this dynamic was now affecting his very much platonic soulmate out of the sudden, and she fully understood a new layer of Steve.
And fucking hated it.
Although they shared almost everything, she didn't go straight to Steve to talk about it; she knew him well enough to know beforehand not to press him into talking about something he wasn't ready to share yet, even with her.
So the next time they teased them (soon enough, because, c'mon, get new material, bozos) she dropped the smile and asked them, begged them to just stop. It wasn't funny anymore, if it ever was.
And their stupid kids were, well, kids, and also stupid, and didn't pick up. So they continued to tease them, and Robin's patience started to grow thin. But she kept repeating to herself: they're kids, they're just kids, they're dumb by default. So she kept asking them to please, please, drop it.
And see, she can deal with stupid kids, but she drew the line on inconsiderate shitheads (and after two years of saying no, Robin reconsidered their idiocy; they were being plain mean now). So, when Dustin pried about how boring it was that they kept their relationship a secret, in front of the whole gang, again, Robin snapped.
"Who is it, Dustin?" Robin asked, curious expression.
"Who is what?"
"Who are you crushing on, me or Steve?"
"What the hell, Robin? I don't have a crush on any of you!" Dustin said, almost offended. "What's wrong with you?"
"You see, Dusty-bun, after a year and a half of prying non-stop about how crazy is that we are not sucking face and absolutely not believing it, my guesses are that you consider that one of us is so painfully irresistible that we must be obviously lying when we tell you that we are not together. So, cut the jealous crap and please tell me whose name you whisper at night, huh? Is it me or Steve? I'm dying of curiosity here."
Dustin's cheeks went bright pink almost instantly. There was a brief silence in which Robin appreciated their faces with a smug smirk. Some of them were gapping, some holding a laughter. Nancy looked away with a tight smile. Eddie's face was priceless, he stopped whatever he was doing to attentively watch the upcoming scene. Only Steve looked really annoyed.
"What? Ew, gross. I don't whisper your name at night-"
"Steve's, then?"
"No! Robin, what's wrong with you!"
"Oh my god, look at you, you're blushing! You must definitely like him! Oh, is it both?"
"I don't like him , or you! I've got a girlfriend!"
"You're so red, Dustin. I just—I guess I just don't believe you."
Robin's smile grew wider when the rest of the party started picking on Dustin, too.
"I am just saying that you two are really close, there's obviously a vibe between you two, and it's fine! I don't know why you keep denying it. Even I can feel your electricity!" Dustin looked at Steve, who raised his eyebrows, clearly upset. "Is it because his ex is here? Nancy's over it—"
"Please, don't drag me into this."
"—and what you just implied is disgusting!"
And at this point of Dustin's rambling, her smile went off.
"Which part is disgusting, exactly?"
"That—That I think of you at night or whatever!" Dustin shouted, all dramatic.
"I mean, that's pretty disgusting," Lucas added.
"So, you don't have dirty thoughts, like, ever," Eddie muted, holding a mischievous smile.
"Why would I have dirty thoughts about them?"
"I don't know, why would we have dirty thoughts about each other?"
"Can we just stop saying 'dirty thoughts'?" Mike asked, grossed out.
"Because it's a cliché!" Dustin yelled, standing in front of her, suddenly, and completely ignoring Mike. "It's bound to happen! You're always in Steve's orbit, and you're getting pretty defensive about this, you must have a reason to—"
"To what? To not be jumping on his dick right now?"
At the mention of Steve's dick, the whole gang reacted. The youngest pulled disgusting faces, but clearly amused by the turn of this conversation. Eddie was no longer hiding how much fun this was, and he was giving his full attention. Nancy looked around, cheeks pink, not really knowing how to react. Steve, though, was mortified.
After the fuzz of complaints and comments stopped, Robin spoke again.
"I have a reason, though."
Steve looked at her.
"Robin-"
"And the reason is I don't like him that way, and he doesn't like me that way, and that should be enough. And begging you to stop just once should be also enough for you to be respectful about it, but you're not. It's beyond annoying now, it's hurtful, Dustin."
She spoke softer now, and stood from her spot.
Steve muttered "fuck this," and left the room. Eddie followed him. There was a charged silence after that.
"I know you maybe don't see it, but you are implying all the time that there's no other reason for us to be friends if it is not to get in each other's pants, like we have nothing else to offer. And maybe it is not my place to say, but Steve has spent the last few years trying to prove himself right all the time, and he cares about what you think because he loves you. So much. And he's not gonna tell you this, like, in a million years, and I'm breaking an unspoken vow of best friend here telling you, and I'll atone for it later, but if you keep going on with this crap he won't ever stop feeling worthless of being anyone's friend if there's nothing to get out of it."
"Robin, you know that's not what I mean." Dustin's voice was apologetic, sad.
"I know, but we asked you to stop, and you're not letting this go. This is not a riddle you have to figure out, this is just—"
Robin thought that maybe it was the moment for her to come out. If she told everyone now that she was a lesbian, they would drop it for good. She'd been thinking about it for a while now, but she didn't want to do it like this. It just didn't feel right. It wasn't.
Nancy was gazing at her with a knowing look, lips pursed. Robin didn't really tell Nancy about herself, but she seemed to understand. She was smart like that.
"Besides, I am—"
"Right. You're right," Nance stepped in. They shared a look, and Robin briefly smiled. "I think you owe them an apology."
Dustin looked bewildered. The kids were silent. Robin could read in their faces that they never thought about it this way. It took a few seconds for Dustin to recover, and Robin could swear she saw his eyes getting glassy.
"I'm sorry," Dustin said, low voice. "I'm going to—I'm going to talk to Steve."
Dustin left. Shortly after, the rest of the kids followed him, leaving Robin and Nancy alone.
"Steve is lucky to have you," Nancy said, with a soft smile, looking her straight in the eye. Robin felt her cheeks flush red. She looked down.
"I'm the lucky one, here," Robin said. "Thank you. For... for stopping me."
And then Robin's world crashed, because Nancy cupped her cheek, softly, and pressed a small kiss on the cheek.
"I've got your back."
With a smile and candid eyes, Nancy left the room, and Robin let herself fall where she was previously sitting, sighing dramatically.
She needed to talk to Steve.
Right now.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
#stranger things#fic#ficlet#stranger things fic#robin buckley#steve harrington#stobin#dustin#ronance#nancy
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Panphobia (unfinished)
Seeing @mine-sara-sp active reminded me that I have literally NEVER finished that companion fic for Was It Worth It. Frankly I don't think I can finish it? Hermitcraft s6 was really really long ago and I don't remember the events of that season anymore + I fell off of Hermitcraft due to school.
That doesn't mean I can't post what I did write 4 years ago for the redstone update dream! Quick sparknotes of my plans:
I didn't want Doc to be a generic "oh no he's violent and aggressive booo" thing, so I wrote him as becoming paranoid instead! Still allows him to be violent but adds a layer of psychological buildup and struggle
It was going to follow similar events to Was It Worth It and include Doc's reactions this time
This includes stuff like discovering the Stock Exchange had been gutted, and trying to mine more redstone, and having those events just fuel the paranoia more
Yes the paranoia is absolutely the excuse I have for fics where Doc attacks Grian
Since Was It Worth It deliberately became REALLY FOGGY about time towards the end, I was going to add a general timeline. I think? The idea was that it took a week for Doc to realize and then panic about Ren's disappearance, Xisuma would teleport them both and TFC (last to see Ren) to Ren's location, and then Ren takes a month? or two? to fully recover
Specifically Ren is the last to recover because he's a stubborn dog man and actually hid A LOT of redstone in his time mining across both spawn and 1.14 lands, and is additionally too stubborn to tell anyone where the redstone was (duty bound dog man please) so Doc has to deal with watching Grian and Scar recover while his man is still unconscious in bed. Not fun for him
ehhh I think that's most of what was planned before shit happened and I fell off? yeah it is ANGSTY
But all I managed to write was a very short beginning portion and I wanted to post it anyways so here you go!
Redstone update dream AU belongs to @mine-sara-sp, recommended to read Was It Worth It first (a lot worse in tws btw)
TWs: intrusive thoughts, paranoia
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It started small, like everything did.
What if you misplaced the plans for the pillager farm?
That particular thought sent him into a flurry of limbs as he tore through his current home-hole. His thoughts whispered traitorous words, that he had left it on a ledge, the wind must've taken it, blew it into a lava lake, and he'd have to write his plans all over again. That he wouldn't remember the entirety of the design and that his plans were now ruined for good.
It was a great weight off his shoulders when he found the plans folded safely in his chest monster, right where he had left it.
Did you leave it there in the first place? Are you sure?
He sighed, picking up the piece of paper and unfolding it, revealing his grand plans.
It's so easy to tear paper with those claws of yours.
He decided it would be better to commit his plans into a book. Or maybe two or three. Just in case.
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The whispers didn't stop there.
He's hiding something. He probably stole something of yours again.
He narrowed his one working eye, his other cybernetic one flashing red in his paranoia. Grian shuffled under his scrutiny, giving him a mischievous little grin. "What's up Doc?"
That shuffle, he's hiding something. It has nothing to do with how hard you are glaring at the prankster, red eye ominously hard.
“What’s up?” he rumbled lowly, the words echoing in his chest. “What’s up?”
The pesky bird held up his hands in surrender, taking a step back. He’s hiding something. “Woah, calm down, it’s just a greeting man! When were you so uptight? Well, not counting Area 77 and all that...”
He growled, cutting off the sky-loving man before he could ramble the day away. He would ramble the day away, wasting your time. “Why are you here.” The sentence was more a demand than a question, his patience worn thin from the whispering shadows around.
“C’mon man, can’t a hermit just want to check in on another hermit?”
(unfinished rest of fic)
#that one redstone update dream#rand.writ#Im not gonna maintag anything because of how old and unfinished this is lmao#cant believe I still had it somewhere#who knows#maybe I will finish it someday#but not for awhile#ay yo sara remember I said I wanted to revive this au? yeah this was what I was struggling to get out#trigger tagssss#paranoia#intrusive thoughts#ough I havent trigger tagged properly on tumblr in awhile#cccc is just canon-typical [insert trigger here]#I am SLACKING damn#me out here digging up my old works
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i aint much for venting here but this irked me and happened like 10 seconds ago so lemme just
someone in my ff14 raid group that I made, who I outright founded the group with, left the group a while back because of differences in opinion on loot (they were being greedy and very stupid and made a huge scene)
i chalked it up to them just not being a good fit for the group anymore. they left willingly and I thought that was where it would be, but then next time I try to talk to them they're "taking a step back" and went so far as to cut off contact with me and everyone else
needless to say I was pretty fucking hurt by this because I wasn't even given a chance to tell them how that wasn't necessary and we could hang out like normal. but whatever, I accepted that maybe they were right and they needed that.
however. not even a month later and they are in my DMs again and are like "[x] person says hi!" and I've seen this kind of scenario before. I don't have the patience for it and I don't deserve to be treated that way either
you don't fucking cut contact with me outright and make a whole show of it just to come fucking crawling back. you fucked it up. thats deadass not my problem and frankly I don't have room for you fucking shit up like that in my life, I'm a busy ass dude and I have so much else I need to be focusing on. I don't have time to deal with your greedy, selfish ass doing whatever you god damn please followed by burying your head in the sand when things don't go your way you absolute toxic fucking whore
it is literally so easy to be friends with me. you literally can be friends with me and never speak to me ever and we're still friends. if you think we should stop being friends? you can totally just cut off contact. BUT, if you change your mind at the drop of a hat, I will not allow you to drag my feelings around just because you can't make up your mind. you have my friendship until you don't and there's no getting it back after that, go suck a fucking egg asshole
it actually really fucking hurts when people leave without word, but thats their prerogative. but when they try to come back? yeah no thanks buddy good luck finding some other fucking loser other than me this one has no room for you
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😔 What are some of their worries/insecurities about being a parent? How do they deal with this?
Parenting Style Headcanons Meme
Oh I'm laughing at this. His worry/insecurity about being a parent literally just is being a parent. He knows he's utterly utterly terrible at it and not at all made for it, that's why he never wanted to be one in the first place. I think despite all he'd actually love to have proper time and patience for it and that he would very much like to be a very caring and emotionally available one just like his mom was, but the problem is that he's too much like his dad and just very incapable of all that despite wanting it. Hence why he never wanted it. His way of dealing with it always was not being a parent.
But in our verse and some of my post canon hcs he's obviously trying regardless by simply being there and showing interest now, and not just in the good things like her photography and art, but also in the bad things, such as letting her talk about all the issues his previous complete ignorance of her has caused, letting her rant and worse and just genuinely showing that he's remorseful and trying his very best with the little capabilities he has to offer in that department. And what I really admire is that he's not making it about himself at all. He doesn't defend his previous behavior and actions, he knows she's right and validates her feelings. He's stubborn as hell, but not with her, quite frankly, with her he's actually super subdued. It's funny in a way. He's exactly like his dad was with him, and he's only just now really understanding that that lack of a connection between him and his dad had nothing to do with either of them not caring about the other. They both did and that a lot, they were just utterly clumsy and incapable of showing it the way Lance's/Kiara's mom can with their kids. So despite it all, I do think he's dealing with it in the best way possible now. By still trying as much as he can, even if compared to other more capable parents, it makes him look like a shit person. Which I don't think he is anymore in regards to her, especially when you compare it to how he handled everything prior his disappearance. Also in our verse, he isn't beyond just utterly fucking destroying someone's life, both literally and/or metaphorically, if they hurt her in anyway.
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Are you sure you don't like squippy?
Yes. She is too willing to defend the rest of the Bad Batch, and has recently taken issue with me attempting to help other SQUiPs. Frankly, I do not have the patience to deal with her anymore.
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Project Gamma Sigma will be moving... again. A "small" announcement.
I know not that many people know of my project, Project Gamma Sigma, to begin with, but for those that do have some interest in it, it'll be moving from Blogspot/Blogger (whatever the damn thing is called). How soon, I'm not sure. Where? That's almost a secret for now. Shh.
To elaborate...
THE "WHERE DO WE BEGIN" OF IT ALL...
This project had originally started, technically, on Facebook as part of some short stories I'd write in the notes (a feature that doesn't even exist anymore). For a very short time, bits of Gamma Sigma existed on a separate Tumblr blog. That didn't seem to offer me enough flexibility with text formatting (which is an important aspect of how I write the story, due to how I can emphasize certain things, and it's just my style so shh), so I moved everything (pretty much re-making it entirely) on Blogger/Blogspot (I'll just call it Blogspot). So Gamma Sigma has had many locations, but none that are, at this particular moment, a proper "home".
THE "I THOUGHT IT'S GOOD ENOUGH" PART...
For a while, I'd believed Blogspot to be a decent-enough home for the project, and a few years had passed without much to worry about. Blogspot seemed easy enough to deal with, even with its flaws that I desperately tried to find workarounds for... whenever I could. And for a while, those workarounds sorta worked. I was even surprised that they worked for as long as they did, thinking about it now...
However...
OOPS! ALL BROKEN!
(AKA, THE BORING "I'M ANGRY" PART).
Yesterday, I found out that some of my modifications to the theme's code refused to function in any capacity (as in, the less-convenient default options force-replaced whatever was in the code previously, for what reason I don't know). Even the button that would allow me to undo any "recent changes" to the code, only showed the preview having the intended features, but the saved version wouldn't reflect any of the changes (I even checked on different browsers and that includes my phone's web browsers - the intended feature wasn't there, it just got disintegrated along with my patience for this shit).
At that point I'd come to a conclusion... I've had enough. I feel like I lack control over the very shell of what holds YEARS worth of my creative work, and I'm not putting up with it anymore. My project deserves a better home.
I'd already considered moving the project elsewhere, many times, but this brought my frustration to a boil. Numbered page navigation was no longer an option, as massively convenient as it had been during the time when it worked. Now it's just a "MORE POSTS" button. Click it, it takes you to the next page, at the top of the page, scroll down, click it, and the cycle repeats a few more times; if I find it frustrating, I can't imagine that many people would want to go looking for my oldest posts that way either (and the best part, obviously, is the part where Blogspot doesn't offer an option to change that in any way by default, which is why I had to modify the code itself to begin with; if I can't modify the code to my liking, why even give me the option to do so?!).
To make it even more annoying: The pre-existing "Archive" function barely helps the convenience of this, and, frankly, I'm tired of trying to negotiate my way around the lack of options for something like this.
A VAGABOND PROJECT; VISION, STRUGGLES, GOALS AND OTHER STUFF...
I know very little about building things right in the code (especially with very little or even nothing to start with), but if I can figure out the basics and make a skeleton of something work to my advantage, I'll make it work sooner than I'll realize. I've surprised myself in the past, and I'm sure I can create something that'll serve as a home to my project, permanently.
Moving Gamma Sigma would allow me to add features that, I'm sure, wouldn't work (or would quickly break) on Blogspot. One feature would allow me to make some of my entries more "immersive" - being able to play a specific audio track when opening specific entries, for example. Other things would, of course, include improved page navigation, secret pages, and potentially other fun little (maybe interactive) things, that would be relevant to the Gamma Sigma story in some way.
I know it sounds ambitious, especially for somebody who's never done something of this scope before, but I won't know if I don't try, and I'm passionate enough about my project to put in the effort to give it a home it'll thrive in.
A LITTLE OFF-TOPIC, BUT IT KIND OF HAS A REASON TO BE HERE...
On top of the frustrations regarding Blogger, I'd wanted to move away from using Google products/services/etc. for a while, and Blogspot, as it is, being owned by Google, would have to be one of the things I'd have to deal with at some point, inevitably. So that, too, helped me make my decision to move the project - the option to keep the project alive long-term.
I've also been planning to move away from using Google stuff in general, due to how unreliable their product lifespans can be... But that, alone, isn't my only goal; I don't exactly trust Google... And on that matter...
I plan on moving away from using Microsoft's products as well, and that eventually will include the operating system, Windows, itself. I've already been experimenting with using Linux, and the only reason I hadn't moved entirely, is because I still need to work out some issues regarding some windows-only programs and whether they'll work properly in Linux, through whatever means are available to me. If I can make them work, then it's bye-bye Microsoft.
I just value privacy and having a choice in how the system behaves. I value having control over what I do on my own computer. When using an OS is a matter of "letting 3rd parties have some of my personal data", on a PAID operating system no less, I'd think it's too fucking far.
But back to what's at hand...
CONCLUSION OR WHATEVER. OH YEAH ALSO A GAMMA SIGMA HIATUS, THAT TOO...
This was a long "announcement" (with some extra yelling), but I'll update it if something comes up (like, if I finish the migration process or if I decide on something else to add, Idk). I have no clue as to how long it'll take, but this basically forces me to put off posting any newer entries until further notice. Or unless I feel like it, I guess? Still, a hiatus is a hiatus, and I know it already took like a year for me to write the newest entry, but don't worry about that, shhHh,,,
OH AND ONE MORE THING...
It's possible I'll be changing the name of the project itself. As to what it'll be, I'm still not sure, but again, I'll make an update about it once I figure it out I guess.
Thanks for reading.
Sorry for stealing your time for this.
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ANYWAY
i’m finally done w high school... forever.... picked up my diploma 2day and returned the borrowed cap+gown and thats it. like i dont have to go back.
SO i’ll probs start to be a little more active for a while- i was stressed the FUCK out recently bc my mom pressured me into participating in the graduation ceremony bc her mom (my grandma) was kicking up a fuss that i didn’t wanna walk across the stupid stage
like i’m mad and upset and also all out of fucks to give at the same time but my grandma is a manipulative/exhausting/stressful-ass woman to interact with and my mom basically made me do it to stop grandma from crying at her about it
and then the whole thing made ME super stressed and mad because i was doing this thing that i ABSOLUTELY DIDN’T WANT TO DO because of my grandparents who have been absolutely draining/an active problem in my life for YEARS and i was too anxious + upset to even go to my town’s pride day which was a really fuckin big thing for me
and i was basically crying in the lobby of the convention center where all the graduates were waiting to get through the metal detectors bc pride was still happening literally across the river and in the park and i could have just dropped my cap and gown and ditched and run across the bridge to join pride and like...
i COULDVE because i’m a fucking adult and i can make my own choices and decide what’s important for myself but also i knew that my mom and my grandparents wouldve made my life a living HELL if i did that even if my dad and brother would have been on my side
bc my mom is still seeking her mom’s approval even though the woman is almost definitely a literal narcissist and can’t even seem to make up her mind about what would win her approval in the first place, and even though the past several years have been all about me getting more independent and deciding what to do with my own life and making my own choices and all that crap i have to knowingly fuck up my own life and what’s important to me because my fucking grandparents wanted to see me wearing a disposable tablecloth-material rectangle on my head and body and receive an empty photo holder from a woman i’ve never met who was actively crying and even actually tried to hug me
(i saw her moving in and immediately stepped back; my dad said it was hilarious to watch so like... thats one good thing i guess...)
instead of going out and celebrating the fact that i’m a girl who loves girls and remembering all the people like me and who supported people like me who sacrificed so much to get us to the point where i can dress up in ridiculous frilly outfits and go out and celebrate being a girl-loving girl, and i have to give that up because they’re old and lowkey dying like... cool. tight.
i hate to sound insensitive but i honestly find both of them really damn toxic and i just feel like bowing to their demands (or manipulative whiny bullshit) regardless of the circumstances is just weaving me and my whole family (especially my mom) deeper into their web of crazy and
i’m honestly kinda fucking worried about my mom and her relationship with my grandma. i know that having a narcissistic mom can do a number on kids and my mom is so fucking strong and cool and awesome and i think she can do so much and already HAS done so much
but when it comes to her mom she has this attitude where she’s like ‘i don’t care about what she thinks, i think she’s crazy and exhausting and i live my life how i want’
but i can tell that she really DOES care what she thinks. especially when it comes to what grandma thinks about me and my brothers’ lives/upbringings/etc.
...idk i really just don’t think it’s healthy for her or anybody to do what they want
i know they’re old and my grandma’s health is deteriorating rapidly and i know they’re my mom’s parents but....
maybe because i’m a level removed from the situation i feel like i can see what my mom can’t/doesn’t want to see and i have no tolerance for their bee-ess anymore
...the point is i’m gonna try to be a lil more active now; i can feel my muse juuuust barely starting to bud again after the long period where all my energy was channeled into just. pure survival of the end of public education and all the running around and nonsense that that entailed
#{I'll Be Your Lucky Girl; mun tag}#wow that got.... long#guess i just have a lot of feelings about this huh#my family is complicateeeeeeeeeed#usually i see/talk to ppl who have tough relationships w their parents#like in group therapy/support groups/the 'boarding school' i lived in for a while#and also online#and at school#meanwhile im over here like.... no my parents are still married/grossly in love#and theyre both cool and fun and smart#obviously sometimes we fight but ultimately were all friends/love each other#its actually my GRANDPARENTS that i cant fuckin stand#like baking cookies and goin to dinky little local fairs+carnivals who????#i only know STRESS and MANIPULATION and MARTYR-COMPLEX CRYING THAT 'MY GRANDDAUGHTER DOESN'T LIKE ME'#and CONSTANT SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER#like these 2 people only exist to verbally abuse each other#~and i frankly don't have the patience to deal with it anymore~#i b 21 years old ffs#and from now on now that im out of the k-12 garbage system i wanna focus on me and help myself heal/build a life/healthy outlook#that the aforementioned garbage education system never allowed me#~and giving in to such blatant manipulation isn't fuckin gonna help me do that~#....ok im done
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hopelessly devoted
zhongli & gn!reader
1.3k words • ~10 min. read
summary: in an effort to earn more money, zhongli had sacrificed much of his personal time to go to work for weeks and frankly, you were getting very tired of the solitude. in a blur of emotion, you decide to confront him about it.
warnings: slight mention of cheating, lil bit of angst but i promise it gets better
notes: yes the title is based off of the song and what about it?? also formatting is so annoying oh my godjfjf
DAYS IN LIYUE WERE INEXPLICABLY BORING as of late. It seemed like every day consisted of waking up, eating, occupying myself with small and seemingly meaningless tasks, then sleeping and doing it all over again. Life was usually much more entertaining and enjoyable with Zhongli, but for the past few weeks, he had been busy nonstop with work at the funeral parlor. He would wake up early and come home so late that our usual afternoon strolls, dinner dates, and cuddle sessions were practically nonexistent now. I could tell he was exhausted of working these extra hours and I even urged him to take it easy, but he insisted that he had to keep working.
"[Y/N]," he had told me weeks ago before taking up the extra hours, "I will not allow this opportunity to slip away. Imagine all the lavish robes, divine meals, and antiques that you can possibly dream of being within your reach at all times. It is rare for the parlor to strike such an extravagant deal with the Guild. So a few weeks of extra work for a lifetime of luxury... is that not a life that you wish for us to have?"
"I just don't understand how those kinds of riches can possibly come from the Guild,” I sighed, "Are you sure you really can't tell me the details of this?"
"Have patience, my love," he leaned down to kiss my forehead, "It will all make sense in due time."
For the past six weeks, it never made sense. Instead, each day seemed to get lonelier and lonelier, the hours and weeks blending together and becoming mere fuzzy memories. I often wondered when it would all start to make sense. I was tired of the world feeling so empty and bland without the spark of joy in my life constantly being away from home and ignoring my pleads for him to take a break.
“It breaks my heart to see you like this, dear," Zhongli returned home in the extremely early hours of the morning and caught me staring out the window, watching the stars sparkle in the night sky. "Why do you insist on waiting for me to get home instead of getting the rest you deserve?"
“The rest I deserve?" I sighed. I didn't bother turning to face him. "Zhongli, how about the rest you deserve? How long does this have to continue? I truly haven't felt this lonely in my entire life."
Zhongli's exasperation oozed into his low, resonant voice. "Just a little while longer, my love."
“You say that every week."
“And I mean it this time," his figure appeared from the corner of my eye and slumped down in the vacant space next to me on the bed. "The deal is finally coming to a close."
"Deal?" my eyebrows raised at this sudden new information as he had kept me in the dark this entire time, "Don’t lie to me. I thought the entire reason you were working was because of the deal with the Guild."
“I fear that I have said too much," his face instantly turned into one of regret. He lifted a hand up to massage his temple. "Please do not fret, dearest. You do not need to worry about anything."
"Zhongli, I really need you to stop hiding things from me," I felt tears slowly surface without warning, "You have no idea how much it hurts to be left here all alone without knowing what you're doing.”
He was uncharacteristically silent, just sitting there with his eyes closed, massaging his forehead. He let out a deep sigh, clearly tired. I felt bad for confronting him now, but it was now or never.
“Please tell me... is there someone else? Is that it? Am I not good enough that you have to use work as an excuse not to see me? If you are then I wish you could just tell me the truth instead of tugging me along on a stri-“
He suddenly cut me off by connecting his lips with mine. He kissed me slowly, reaching his gloved hand to my face and caressing his thumb over my cheek. My eyes fluttered shut at his touch, savoring the rare moments that we were both awake at the same time to share a kiss. He kissed me deeply, gently, and lovingly. I was so deprived of him that it made my heart ache to finally taste his lips again. Or maybe the heartache was from the thought of him using those same, soft lips to kiss someone else.
Maybe I was wrong. I surely hoped I was wrong.
“You are the love of my life, [Y/N]. If there are any doubts of my loyalty to you, let go of them immediately. There is no one else other than you and me. I only dedicate myself to strenuous work for our future to be prosperous. I am doing this for us, and us alone.”
Tears travelled down my cheek as he slowly pulled his face away a few inches. Tracing his thumb over my bottom lip, I stared at the way the moonlight highlighted his stoic expression. His exhaustion split my heart apart. This entire situation split me apart.
“Please forgive me when I say my work is confidential. Though, I assure you I am not keeping any significant secrets from you. I deeply hope you understand.”
I dipped my head down in disappointment just for him to lift my chin up with a gentle grip. He stared into my eyes for a moment before speaking again.
"What can I do to distract you from your solitude, dear?" he gently whispered then began planting small kisses around my face. “You are my priority. I will take care of whatever it is you want from me.”
"Then take a break for one day," I watched as he initially sighed in instant rejection, "Fine, then half a day. Please, Zhongli – half a day. You could go to work then come back home early. Just please... I can’t be alone anymore. I can’t take it.”
He thought for a moment, his amber eyes piercing through mine. The silence made more tears run down my face, which he responded to by planting more small kisses on my fragile, trembling lips.
"If half a day will not fully satisfy you, I will call off my entire day tomorrow.”
“Zhongli, I said half a day would be fine-“
“You deserve more than just ‘fine,’” he politely interrupted. “It has already been decided.”
I softly chuckled in relief and gently buried my head into his neck, his arms immediately pulling me into a warm embrace to seal the space between us.
He planted several soft kisses on my head, his fingers caressing my back. I glanced at his face for a moment to see that a tear had rolled down his cheek as well. A sob escaped my throat as I watched the face of a calm and collected man attempt to hold back tears, but failing. The strong façade he always managed to uphold was now broken in front of me.
We didn’t need words to communicate our shared stress and yearning for each other. So we sat in there in silence, bathing in the moonlight as quiet tears stained our collars. His melancholic eyes and tensed jawline shot arrows through my heart.
It hurt when I couldn’t see him for weeks. It hurt even more when I could see he was in the same amount of pain I was in. It was silly to accuse him of treating me poorly when all he wanted to do was guarantee our happiness together.
My heart sunk into the earth’s core. And that’s when he broke the silence once more.
“Never doubt my dedication to you, my love. There is, and never will be, anything that will change how much I love you. I love you more than I can put into words. Please remember that no matter how long we are apart, I promise I will love and cherish you, and only you, even beyond our final moments together. And that is a promise I intend to keep forever.”
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Sanzu haruchiyo yandere alphabet.
Affection. How do they show their affection and what intention can they stay?
Some days he doesn't let go of you, there are other days he doesn't even look at you
Blood. What mess are they willing to do for their darling?
There's no limit, don't be surprised if your coworker who asked you out is gone the next day and the list goes on.
Cruelty. how would they treat their loved ones once they kidnapped them?
He'd try to be nice if you cross the line he's not afraid to use violence
Honey .from the kidnapping would they do something against your will?
Probably a tattoo he is possessive to him you are his and only from and you and others have to be aware of it all the time
expose how much of their heart do they carry to their darling how much do they open up around you?
Hardly anything unless he's stoned so he can talk more at least he would talk about how annoying coworkers are or mikey and mucho's betrayal
To fight. how would they feel if their loved ones fought back?
Frankly, he was already expecting that, he's not even disappointed anymore.
Play. is this all fun for them do they think it's fun to try to see you escape?
He lets you try to escape every now and then because he likes to punish you.
Hell. What would be your sweetheart's worst experience with him?
High, he ties you to the bed and gives you so much medicine that you forget your own name.
Ideas. What kind of future do they have for their sweetheart and them?
He doesn't have anything for him as long as it's just the two of you
movies. On a scale of 1 to 10, which cement is it and how does it deal with it?
100/10 depends on his mood he can shoot whoever is making him jealous if it is an object he will take you away if it is mikey he will just wait until he gets home and fuck you until you pass out
Kisses How does he act around his darling?
As already said he is unpredictable but in general he doesn't know his side for anything unless it's a bonten emergency.
Love letters what would they do to woo their sweetheart?
Flowers bags shoes dresses your boss's eyes because he was looking at you too much there is no limit anything he thinks you will like or that reminds him of you
Masks are their different colors drastically different do they act around others?
No he would never show you his true feelings
Naughty how would he punish his loved ones?
It will depend on what you do he can cut you because he likes to see you cry and lose consciousness because of lack of blood he can drug you he can fuck you with a gun to your head
Oppression how many rights would they take away from their loved ones?
You can't even look out the window without him by your side
Patience. which patient is he?
1/10 maybe 2 if he's sober which is rare
To give up. if your sweetheart dies or you end up with success how would they react?
If you manage to escape I hope it's to a fortress or something because no he will never give up finding you now if you die which is humanly impossible because you are always being watched he wouldn't find someone else he could fuck someone like you but he would kill her later
Regret. Do they feel guilty or sorry when they kidnap their sweetheart?
Not ever in his head you are his then why regret it you should thank him like who would treat you so well and would love you as much as he does everything he does is for your good
stigma. what brought this side of him (childhood, trauma, curiosity, etc.)
You were probably kind to him and didn't look at him badly or with disgust because of his scars.
cry. how would he feel if his sweetheart screaming crying or isolating himself?
he would leave unless it lingers as much as he likes to see you in such a state he would get angry because for him you are crying for no reason if you want to cry cry but he will give you a reason
Single. would they do normal yandere things?
no he is much worse
vice. what fanciness can your darling exploit to escape?
there's no way you can escape unless he wants to because he wants to show you how bad your life is without him he would do anything to make it as miserable as possible to the point where you yourself came and begged him for forgiveness or he just would punish him depends on his mood
End of wit. do they hurt your loved ones?
yea
Xoanon. how far would they go to catch them?
he probably watched you for at least 1 year maybe less just until he knew everything about you then he would try to win you over or he'll go straight kidnap you for him no matter the methods you were made one for the other and it was just a matter of time until you see this
yearn to what extent do they bid for each other until they catch them?
no he has no limit
Zenith. Will they break your darling?
definitely yes the damage done will depend on how long it took you to submit to it
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10. 11. 16. 20.
10. Top three favourite fic tropes.
how do I answer angst for every single one 🤩 sike let’s see I do love whump (hurt/comfort may fall into this category for me but there’s usually not much comfort because I’m shit at finishing my series and so it’s just hurt before the happy ending WHOOPS).
gotta have me some angst smut oooooof that is a top tier trope right there. it’s so fun to be so mad. at. the. other. person. but. also. why. am. I. so. attracted. to. you. FUCK let’s fuck. (this typically goes hand in hand with the “enemies” to lovers type deal which yes but I do like a pit stop or at least a backtrack to friends then lovers again).
and finally, the love is requited they’re just idiots is gold. the angst that can be woven in is chefs kiss give me all of it forever and ever.
11. Three tropes that are fine but overrated.
literally any AU ever 💀 i'll probably get canceled over this take but AUs are overrated imo - other people can write them, that's fine. you will rarely see me write a true AU, if you look closely enough it's just a bit of canon divergence typically lmao the reason i like the characters are usually tied to the universe they live in
there. was. only. one. bed. like don't get me wrong, this one is fun but also it's just meh. people hype it up and idk feels overdone. i only want it if it's chock full of angst like helnik in SaB.
another one that might get me shunned is secret relationship. idk like it’s just always fluffy and that’s so far from my vibes, we don’t mesh. people love it (& fake dating which isn’t as overrated ig) but well, it’s fine. not my cuppa.
16. Are one-shots really underrated?
Ok so imma say yes, absolutely. And then I’m gonna rant about it.
I feel like there’s been this shift across the world of fanfic that has created this idolization of long multichaptered (or series) fics and a sort of shame/inadequacy impressed upon those writers who stick with one-shots, short or long. It’s always “omg will you continue this” and “when’s the next chapter” and “could you do a part two.” Like sometimes, sometimes a fic doesn’t have to hit 100k or 10k or even 1k to be complete. There can be beauty in less is more, leaving a universe “open” is not some cardinal sin that one-shot authors should repent for because we didn’t feel the need to suck it dry. This is not to say multichap or longer series are bad!!! God I have a couple of my own lmao. Just that not every fic has to be that. A well-written, flowing prose that intertwines with an intriguing plot in less than 2k that ends there and ends well- whether open to interpretation or tied with a bow- is like hitting the goddamn jackpot for me. I honestly don’t read fic much at all anymore because I quite simply do not have the time to read these 10k+ individual chapters that people feel the need to write (imo that pressure has been arbitrarily placed on us as the “ability” to write these long ass fics is deemed “better” or “stronger” than shorter one-shots). I am far more impressed when a writer can blow me away with 500 words and I’ve run the gamut of emotions and reeling for more but also know I am perfectly capable of envisioning what that more is in my head.
Once again, absolutely nothing against writers of novels people call multichap fics, in awe that you have the patience tbh 😂 but do I think the concept of a one-shot and leaving it at a one-shot is underrated? Yes a thousand freaking percent, yes. And that’s not just the I have a wip list out my ass that I now wish were just one shots in me talking 💀 lmao
20. Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you?
LOL well. I rarely if ever write two fics simultaneously, that sounds way too confusing for me. I will occasionally hop from one idea to another and frankly that’s happened way more because I can’t seem to finish and publish a single gd fic lately. But typically, I work on a fic by itself and then move on—not necessarily finish the entire series (see above) but I can’t work on two fics truly at the same time. Currently nothing is working for me though so, rip 🥹
talk dirty writer asks with me
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Filly Headcannons because I frankly don't wanna draw these all out:
-Filly began to express her gender around 8 years old. So she's on puberty blockers for now.
-Her hair is now blond instead of brown. Her hair isn't has bright as her mother's but it is pretty blond. She usually let's her hair fall into her face despite Angela's attempt at the opposite.
-She usually wears overalls and t-shirts. She likes it when Dwight sews cute little designs on it. She tries to help but her hands are a bit too shakey to for now. She does sew a bit when she's older.
-She acts like a tomboy but don't call her that it upsets her. She's a sporty girl. A cowgirl if you will.
-She would most likely have other younger siblings but I really don't want to design them
-Im gonna rewrite the baseball thing with Karate because it just makes more sense.
-She has very big emotions usually doesn't express them in the most appropriate manner. Like using her words instead of lashing out or expressing her emotions in a safe way.
-She has a huge interest in unicorns. Once she realized unicorns aren't real and got upset because she thought she couldn't enjoy them anymore. Dwight had to explain things don't need to be factual or real for her to enjoy them. She draws alot of unicorns. Sometimes they're flying with wings, sometimes they're stabbing knights with their horn and eating their faces.
-She doesn't make friends easily. She doesn't really want to. She just wants to do her own thing by herself and be left alone. Turns out that's not how life works. She's very shy. Not in a "cute" way more of a 😐 kind of way. She does start to make a couple of maybe friends. She also is kinda forced to live with other younger siblings in her house so she kinda had to deal.
-She'll pour her soul out about Unicorns to her parents [and Oscar of course.] but towards strangers she's super quiet.
-She likes Mose. Most just makes the silliest faces at her. Once she just kinda latched onto his leg. Then had to be told about personal space.
-She's got a wild imagination and when she sets her mind to do something she does everything to do it. She's very competitive and likes to be good at the things she does.
-She was a little frustrated with the social aspect of her Karate classes but once she understood what they expected it was fine. She's aggressive but needs to work on her patience with katta and such. Once she practiced a katta form outside for hours before Angela had to physically stop her and tell her to take a break.
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Hey there @takethethirdoption ! ~
I love the concept of your request, especially because I feel it's sooooo accurate for them !
No problem for your previous one ~ I'm glad you enjoy it !
Zoro :
• He really doesn't know how to deal with his feelings for you, so he's basically an everlasting sassy boy
• You are usually pissed by his daily angry teasing and you always think he likes to play with your feelings because he must certainly know you really like this idiot
• He seems nervous today when he asks you to follow him for a little talk, but you are a bit suspicious
• After a few nasty comments, he abruptly drops he loves you from the bottom of his heart and he can't keep it for himself anymore
• Both of you don't speak for a while, and you are waiting for his sarcastic comment
• He crosses his arm because he feels very anxious and unconfident now, yet you think it's just his way to show you once again that he's goofing around
• "For fuck's sake Zoro, this is not funny anymore! Stop doing that! Don't tell people you love them just for fun! It's a big deal!"
• He raises an eyebrow ; this is really not what he was hoping for
• Since his world is collapsing under his feet, he needs a way out and starts to yell at you that you are a neurotic
• You roll your eyes because THIS IS ENOUGH. Your heart is pounding against your chest, your stomach hurts you when he's around and he still PLAYS with your feelings, so you just want to leave and you're doing it
• He abruptly grabs your shoulder and drags you back with all his strength just to plant a kiss on your lips, in the most angrily yet passionnate way possible
• You just can't believe it but you start to smile, kissing him back ; this man is really bad when it comes to love
Law :
• He always, ALWAYS, teasing you with the most sarcastic comments ever and it hurts like hell
• You don't really feel comfortable when you try to have a conversation with him, because you always seem to bother him
• He thinks it's the perfect timing for him to confess his love when he spots you alone and studying on the deck
• He seems tense as hell and asks you to follow him
• He doesn't speak all the way long until you eventually reach his lab
• You feel your heart falling in your guts as you already anticipating a really nasty time ; perhaps he'd ask you to leave his crew because the two of you didn't really "clicked"
• He starts to confess about his love, but his face remain painful, twisted. His love confession sounds more like a reproach and slowly, you lose your patience
• He's keeping a poker face as you beging to shout at the top of your voice and he clenches his fist, listening silently to your fervent complain
• "There are other way to ask me to leave your damn crew than playing with someone's feeling! You are seriously twisted ! I can't fucking DEAL WITH IT! I hope you had a greaaaat time making me feel like I'm a sh—
• He kisses you right in the middle of your sentence, eyes closed, his forearm pulling you against his chest
• You blink and look back at his face, your cheeks burning as his own are slightly pinker than usual
• "You're seriously impossible" he snaps as he doesn't look at you, but you know he's truly sincere for once
Ace :
• That boy is a merciless boy when it comes to tease you
• He thinks you seriously understand that he's truly into you, but frankly, he's a disaster
• He always checks on wathever you are doing, making comments about how this is not right, and how you can improve this, and you really can't handle it anymore
• You like him though, but it doesn't feel mutual, since he tries to avoid you anytime he can
• His crewmates are making comments whenever he's around you, yet he always abruptly answers them to fuck off, because "there's nothing I like about /name/ anyway", you're just one of his crewmate
• It hurts like hell, and you often need to spend some time alone but today, Ace comes to meet you
• He puts his hat on the barrier and starts to speak casually with you
• You are frankly wary, arms crossed around your chest, waiting for another hurtful comment
• He looks at you with some sorry eyes, and as you remain confused, he starts to speak about the way he has tried to hide his love for you, and how you have become someone so important for him
• He stares at you, and then furrowed his eyebrows, because clearly things are a bit tensed right now, and you don't seem so happy
• You sigh, unable to answer, your vision a bit blurry ; once again he's making fun of you and you just can't handle it
• He really doesn't get your reaction, so he tries to circle your jaw, tenderly, but you have this flinch that makes him understands he really acted like a dick with you
• His eyes are not lying though, so you dig in them, trying to find an answer
• He seems so different right now, you really want to give him a shot
• He smiles, and then confesses again, until you eventually believe him, jumping in his arms because wow... you crave it
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Stray Dogs and Tiger Cubs (pt.13)
Read it on AO3 from the start
Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs
Characters: Chuuya, Dazai, Mori.
Summary: Ah, yes, one of those other chapters/scenes I’ve been looking forward to getting out there! And just in time for Father’s Day, too.
...
It'd been unnerving enough, seeing Dazai turn all of that anger that he'd not even been sure Dazai had even been capable of, let alone the hatred in his eyes that'd been there for just a few seconds too long, long enough he wasn't about to forget any time soon, and if that was bad, then somehow, seeing his ex-partner just collapsed like that as if after all the emotion had been used up it'd just drained out of him, was even worse.
Dazai was- they were on opposite sides now, didn't he get he wasn't supposed to do that anymore?
Then again, it was Dazai he was talking about here.
A Dazai who'd somehow... picked up a kid he cared about enough to get as pissed off as Chuuya had seen him get just a few moments ago.
The same kid the mafia was after right now, which meant there'd probably be hell to pay if anything happened to him, and given who was in charge of that particular mission-
With half an eye still on Dazai, who still hasn't moved, Chuuya's hand darts into his jacket for his phone. It's a risky move - more because of Dazai's position than anything - but given the situation, it's not one he can put off.
He could have attempted to call Higuchi, or Akutagawa himself, but they'd fluff about and stutter their way through their explanations, and he really doesn't have the patience for that right now.
In the space of a few rings, he wonders if it's a bad time, if he's going to have to wait, and how the hell he's going to explain the mess in the first place, not to mention whether it's already too late.
He'd seen that look in Dazai's eyes. Whatever he was up to now, he hadn't changed that much from the Dazai Chuuya had known four years back - push him far enough, and he'd still bring down entire organisations just because they'd made an enemy of him. And right now, if the slippery bastard didn't die first - not that Chuuya wasn't tempted - that'd be the mafia. All of it.
"Ah, Chuuya-kun. I trust all is well?"
"Boss." Dazai's eyes snapped open. Chuuya held up a hand. "There's an issue," he said, talking to the point and as if he didn't have Dazai glaring daggers at him.
"Oh? I'll take the liberty of assuming it's not something you're capable of dealing with by yourself...?"
"Someone," he said, "is trying to make a mockery of the organisation."
"Explain."
The boss' tone slipped from it being a social call from a trusted associate, to pure business - at the same time as Dazai's glaring eyes widening again, as he caught on to the idea of what Chuuya was aiming at.
Good. The last thing he needed was Dazai making things more complicated than they had to be, right now.
"The weretiger we've got that bounty on. I just got new intel from a reliable source - when they gave us the info to get him, they only put down that he was a 'dangerous ability user', right? Young, but dangerous."
"Chuuya-kun."
"The kid's eight, boss."
There's a moment in which he almost can't hear anything, though the faint sound of Elise calling for the Boss' attention was enough to say the line hadn't gone dead.
"...and just how reliable is this source of yours? Any ulterior motives, perhaps?"
Dazai's expression had shifted into a steady frown, but it didn't take much to remember brown eyes boring into him as his knife had still been a close threat.
Just don't hurt the kids, you said, Chuuya remembered. I did it mostly for Atsushi-kun, Dazai had said.
There was no getting around it, there was something new in Dazai's eyes that hadn't been there the last time Chuuya had seen him. Who even knew if it'd ever been there before, but-
"I think the kid is the motive."
"An interesting proposal. Very well, in which case... since you have already made yourself involved in the matter, you can see to it that the information is verified personally. Oh, and - do take your informant with you? The last thing we need is someone with that sort of grudge loose in the building. If he's telling the truth, then we can take things from there. And if this is a ploy, then - you know what to do, don't you?"
"Right. Understood, sir."
The call terminated, the tone beeping in his ear.
There was something unsettling about the idea of the Boss having already figured out who he was talking about, though at least him realising Dazai was free was probably more to do with not everyone being so quick to forget that this was Dazai they were dealing with. Slippery bastard had picked locks for years, and that wasn't the sort of skill you just forgot because you were working for the other side.
Chuuya sighed. Things had started out so well, and now?
Ugh, this sucked.
"Oi. Shitty Dazai." The piece of shit himself straightened up, leaning away from the wall he'd been holding up. "Looks like you're coming with me."
"Oh? Aren't I supposed to be waiting for my execution, then?"
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" The weirdly blank look Dazai got frankly unnerved him. "But no. Boss wants confirmation. You'd better not be lying, or you won't be able to pick your way out so easily next time."
"Chuuya! So you do care!"
"That's a warning that if you're taking advantage, I'll be the one to kill you myself, idiot!"
From his place looking back from the top of the stairs, he could see Dazai with his hands behind his head, pouting.
"Mean, mean... offering me such a thing. It's a shame. But if you do it now, you'd just make poor Atsushi-chan cry."
Chuuya blinked, trying to make sense of any of that, and failing.
"Make... him cry?" he asked, unsure if he even wanted the answer to the only part of it he even felt like getting an answer to.
"Well, of course!" As if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. As if this wasn't possibly some weird-ass plot of his- "Atsushi's gotten pretty attached to me, after all! Just the other day, he started calling me 'Da-san'!"
Chuuya wheezed, trying not to choke on his laughter too much at the idea of some poor kid looking at Dazai like that - and then again at the fact that Dazai wasn't following that up with some just kidding comment.
On any other person that'd make the situation make more sense, not less, but here it just-
"What the fuck, Dazai? You're the last person I'd trust with a kid!"
"....you're hardly the first to say that either, you know."
"That doesn't make it any better."
Neither did the fact that even if they were headed out, it was both of them, and he'd be taking Dazai with him, not just leaving him behind to rot. He really could have done with having a chance to clear his head, without the source of his headache following behind him like this.
...
AN:
Two points from the chapter that could be abridged/omake'd:
Chuuya: Ok so boss, it looks like the kid's not eighteen, he's eight, and-<br />
Mori: Excuse me the fuck, I think I just misheard. What???
and,
Chuuya: ...I've just got that specific feeling you get when your dad knows you're talking with your ex again, and I'm feeling vaguely mortified, and if it weren't for my duty I'd like to either pummel said ex some more, or let the earth swallow me up.
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right? i'm also partial to all variations of earl grey but english breakfast is like 11/10 always 😍 oh yeah no we don't have a/c at all.. i have a fan in my room but that really does fuck all to help and i have to say the thought that you just causally have a/c in your home is so weird to me and also makes me incredibly jealous you can't imagine 😅 i really don't deal well with heat so these past few weeks have been so fucking stressful especially bc they took tea from me (1/7)
(2/7) oh yes agreed if those lines really saved i found a girl for me and also it just sounds fun 🙈 yes it is the dog one honestly i love these kind of videos 😅 and i watched false confidence now and. perhaps i really love him. and maybe that video made me cry just a little. honestly thank you so much for introducing me to noah kahan i just love his music so much. & right? she has so many like overly specific and honest things in her songs that just make so much sense and just hit differently
(3/7) do you know anxiety by her? bc that's also one of those songs for me too 🙈 i'll definitely listen to more thomas rhett bc i really love his style of writing about adoring his wife 😅 and i have a playlist for all your recs so it's okay that you keep going i'm just gonna add it all and work my way through depending on my mood. really interested to hear more!!
(4/7) whaaaat. okay did not realise that was alex and now i feel bad. i have to admit trash pop is a pretty good description for that sound but it is still a very nice sound 😅 oh love!! you did rec me dear winter and turning out before 🙈 i love them and ajr! i just don't like this one song (i've been listening to sober up, weak, karma and i'm not famous sooooo much and technically bang as well but i somehow forgot to download it so i haven't actively heard it in a bit)
(5/7) that's okay 🙈 & alright thank you will listen to these recs first i think bc i really liked fletcher's vibe and it's the only one i haven't heard a complete song of. also very sorry you can't see her anymore it sounds like a great lineup :/ okay so listen i tried to make this as coherent as possible i hope i managed: i adore music so much. honestly can't put my love for music into words so i completely understand what you mean when you describe sharing music as intimate.
(6/7) bc well it can be just about liking the sound of sth but it can also be hey look at this song that ripped my heart out (maybe this is a iydk reference we might never know) and then people go and ignore it or say sth mean and it just fucking sucks. so yeah i get it and will thus always take time to listen to your recs and tell you what i think. i truly feel so honoured every time you take the time to rec me things bc it's really kinda putting yourself out there and i appreciate it a lot.
(7/7) oh and also bc i truly love and cherish all the stuff you introduced me to like i'm really, really thankful for your music so yeah i love you a lot for this as well ❤ - fiancee
putting a cut cos long winded asks call for long winded answers NOT that i dont love them because I DO
dude im so sorry about the a/c thing like i genuinely am........fuckin crime whoever thought to do that to you guys
THANK ME??? THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO NOAH KAHAN EVEN THOUGH I WAS ANNOYING AS HELL ABOUT HIM fiancee you mean more to me than words can say thats all moving on i love you
yeah!! anxiety is a good song maybe not like My Favorite but frankly is there a bad julia michaels song. if so i have yet to find it. however do you know what a time. she did that one with niall which i personally think is very sexy of her <3 julia michaels can and will do it all
YOU MADE A PLAYLIST OF MY RECS.......STOP IM GOING TO CRY I REALLY AM fiancee...........................you are testing my emotional patience tonight i really might cry that is so cute and thoughtful and . JUST. also while listening to it in the car today i discovered like an absolute idiot that the album life changes is from is called. you guessed it. life changes. SO. anyway im not rec’ing ANY more thomas rhett songs unless you explicitly ask because maybe im in love w his whole discography and would die for him but thats nobody’s business but my own
yeah it really is........like i dont know whats making that wicked sound at the beginning of thanks i hate it i think its just a super distorted guitar but i LOVE it
GSKFLGMKDFJ did i really rec u those two songs before.......WELL IM NOTHING IF NOT CONSISTENT and obsessive ok that is fair i did kind of jump to conclusions there but anyway while we’re here promise this is the only real rec im adding to the list but three-thirty by ajr although i do feel like ive already given you this rec??? but that one just fucking decks me every day of my life so anyway. yeah
hitting myself in the face fiancee what the fuck did i do to deserve you. how’d i win the fucking lottery on this one. like. just. i just . im all outta words im just love you so very much and i really really cherish you and this relationship we have and our friendship and the . mutualism of the song recs??? i love you a metric fuckton dude that is a promise
#JESUSSSSSS#STOP MAKN ME CRY IN THE END OF THESE#fiancee anon#now i have remember you young stuck in my head#i literally made a whole fucking new playlist today just bc i listened to remember you young and had a really specific emotion#the playlist is named after a lyric from a parachute song#and interestingly enough i cant remember#OH THATS A LIE the song is called. ocean? i believe#the lyric is. i hope i never learn an easy way to miss you#and before you ask: no i have absolutely no idea what other songs can go on it#im PRETTY sure the vibe is like. fond bittersweet nostalgia#like the song is ABOUT nostalgia though. it doesnt cause ME nostalgia#like remember you young is a song about nostalgia#maybe the playlist shoulda just been called that#although i actually think i follow one of calum's playlists and it's called nostalgia#so thatd be confusing#also my friend is in a BAND called nostalgia#lots of nostalgia goin around doesnt look like a word anymore#anyway#anonymous#ask#answered
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honestly i don't get why people are losing faith in bellarke, it just seems so obvious to me that that's the story they're telling, just slow burn. and i'm not a crazy obsessed shipper, or looking at it with shipper goggles. i'm pretty casual about it, which is i guess why i dont get so worked up about things that the fandom does. i've actually blacklisted the bellarke tags just cause so much negative shit was coming up and it was draining. fandom needs to chill.
I feel you. It’s REALLY hard to deal with. And I am a hard core Bellarke shipper, but in general, I’m not a shipper. It’s just not the way I interact with stories.
I love the show and want to enjoy it and a lot of the negativity towards The 100, Bellarke and Clarke is, frankly, harshing my buzz.
And not to NOT be extra about it, but I like my belarke buzz and I’m keeping it.
I’m focusing on the posts that are still positive about the show, clarke and Bellarke. And I’m not answering anymore doom and gloom “bellarke is over clarke is evil i don’t trust the writers” asks. I’m not going to argue with anyone else about how they’re wrong or they should believe, I’m just going to continue stating my point of view and supporting those I agree with.
I’ve long passed being casual, so I have to own up to that, but I did NOT come here to hate on my favorite show/ship/characters. I love it and that’s what I’m having fun with here. Having patience with the story being told and letting myself GO with whatever they are doing, even if it’s not what I particularly would like to see, is part of that.
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Hello! I have an autistic character who interacts often with a group of people (none of who are autistic and while they're friendly, they're not friends). She has a very intense interest in a certain area, and often rambles about it to the others. However, they don't share her interest and often have to tell her to stop talking about it because they need to work. How do I represent this without being rude to people who do have these intense interests in certain things? Thank you! :)
Being told to stop infodumping is never a pleasant thing. Getting all that information out just feels so good, like stimming with words, and we can feel a compulsion to get out every detail, and feel unfinished or incomplete if interrupted. However, most of us know that it’s not pleasant or interesting for those around us sometimes, and are used to being asked to stop. How this works will depend on the relationship between the people. Someone who knows she is autistic and can’t help wanting to infodump might be more patient and let her go on for a long time, maybe not even really listening, just letting her talk and letting her know it’s okay to do so, which will help her a great deal. People she doesn’t know are more likely to not understand why she won’t shut up and be more direct and less understanding, rolling their eyes and saying “alright, alright, enough already!” or even “shut up!” or “take a hint! no one cares!” This reaction is, frankly, understandable, but still frustrating for the autistic character, who isn’t doing anything wrong and needs this release.
In a situation where either the understanding listeners’ patience is all used up, or they have something else they need to do or talk about, they can find polite ways to ask her to stop. It might not be easy! Even when we see that others don’t want to listen anymore, some of us can still feel compelled to keep going until we get it all out. Sort of like being asked to stop crying or laughing when you’re not done yet. But if she can see that they mean well and really just can’t continue listening, she can cut herself off and save it for later, or talk to an imaginary friend, or herself, or find someone else who’s more interested in listening. As long as the people are polite and understanding, explain that they’re sorry to interrupt her but they really are running out of time for this other thing, and can we finish this conversation a bit later?, the autistic character can do her best to accommodate them (autistic people do spend quite a lot of our energy accommodating allistic people, after all). But she will have that “unfinished” feeling which she will have to deal with somehow.
It’s not necessarily rude to inform someone that those around them don’t share their interest, and to ask them to compromise. Especially if people are willing to listen at least sometimes - even though they’re not interested at all - that shows an understanding and compassion. If this is something that happens often, they can work out a system where the autistic person will have infodumping time, but try not to get into that topic during other times. Or perhaps even more helpful is to help them find someone who *is* interested in that topic, an audience that will be really pleased to hear all she has to say. The internet is great for this. You can talk to people all over the world, find clubs in your local area, etc.
It should also be noted that although we sometimes have a compulsion to infodump no matter what, we greatly prefer sharing with people who are actually interested, or, best of all, inspiring interest in those around us. Sometimes I just can’t stop even though I can see that others aren’t interested, but it doesn’t feel so nice. The best situation is when I can share this information with someone and see them take an interest for the first time - their eyes light up as they discover this truly interesting thing they didn’t know about before. If someone shows no interest whatsoever, and every time I bring up that topic, I see them preparing to tolerate it rather than listening interestedly, I will probably stop bringing up that topic with them eventually. If I can’t find any topic of conversation that we both find interesting, I may even start to avoid them altogether and try to find someone else to talk to who shares my interest. Failing that, I may spend more time alone, share this information with interested people online, etc. As a result, I have only a few very close friends and don’t spend a lot of time being social with real-life people, which has its pros and cons which will probably have to wait for another post. Just keep in mind that if your character is consistently asked to stop talking about something, she probably will stop bringing it up, or even stop talking altogether out of a feeling that no one values what she says and she has no common ground with the others.
I hope this helps. Happy writing!
-Mod Aira
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