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thebeesareback · 2 hours
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women in art: ophelia
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thebeesareback · 14 hours
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OK so Aegon is a total shit, BUT Luke and Jace had it coming by stabbing Aemond in the eye and then publicly mocking him
I’m still stuck with Aegon immediately rolling with whatever chaos Aemond unleashed at the dinner and slamming Lucerys’ head into the table. Look at his smile. He 100% has been in several bar fights before
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thebeesareback · 3 days
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My overriding feeling watching them is that what I'm watching is a perfectly happy couple on Bargain Hunt.
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thebeesareback · 5 days
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Just saw an advert for halal cat food
I'm not at all religious but I fucking love it when people include their pets in their ceremonies. I just saw a cat dressed up (and looking 🔥🔥) in little Iftar outfits. Remember that tweet about the Jewish household who got their cat an advent calendar because, well, who are they to tell the cat she has to be Jewish? I've seen videos of people taking a huge variety of animals to be blessed by the pope, all looking incredibly befuddled. And the cats who love their owners' prayer mats? So they have to have their own? Incredible
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thebeesareback · 5 days
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Good Omens, political and social satire
We all love Good Omens.
One of the things, though, which was missing from the TV adaptations was the hilarious, Douglas Adams-esque vignettes. I would have loved to see some updates about modern life, although the '90s snapshots are still funny and relevant. Given the presence of corporate mergers, lack of communication between managers, owners and workers, and a recent (and well publicised) problem with a commercial transportation device whose quality suddenly dipped when they merged with a more cutthroat company, I thought I should remind everyone of this.
Several thousand miles away, at almost the same moment as Anathema was staring at her spirals, the pleasure cruiser Morbilli was aground in three hundred fathoms of water.
For Captain Vincent, this was just another problem. For example, he knew he should contact the owners, but he never knew from day to day -or from hour to hour, in this computerized world-actually who the current owners were.
Computers, that was the bloody trouble. The ship's papers were computerized and it could switch to the most currently advantageous flag of convenience in microseconds. Its navigation had been computerized as well, constantly updating its position by satellites. Captain Vincent had explained patiently to the owners, whoever they were, that several hundred square meters of steel plating and a barrel of rivets would be a better investment, and had been informed that his recommendation did not accord with current cost/benefit flow predictions.
Captain Vincent strongly suspected that despite all its electronics the ship was worth more sunk than afloat, and would probably go down as the most perfectly pinpointed wreck in nautical history.
By inference, this also meant that he was more valuable dead than alive.
He sat at his desk quietly leafing through International Maritime Codes, whose six hundred pages contained brief yet pregnant messages designed to transmit the news of every conceivable nautical eventuality across the world with the minimum of confusion and, above all, cost.
What he wanted to say was this: Was sailing SSW at position 33°N 47° 72'W. First Mate, who you may recall was appointed in New Guinea against my wishes and is probably a head-hunter, indicated by signs that something was amiss. It appears that quite a vast expanse of seabed has risen up in the night. It contains a large number of buildings, many of which appeared pyramid-like in structure. We are aground in the courtyard of one of these. There are some rather unpleasant statues. Amiable old men in long robes and diving helmets have come aboard the ship and are mingling happily with the passengers, who think we organized this. Please advise.
His questing finger moved slowly down the page, and stopped. Good old International Codes.
They'd been devised eighty years before, but the men in those days had really thought hard about the kind of perils that might possibly be encountered on the deep.
He picked up his pen and wrote down: "XXXV QVVX."
Translated, it meant: "Have found Lost Continent of Atlantis. High Priest has just won quoits contest."
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thebeesareback · 6 days
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Ding dong, the king is dead: the murder of Joffrey Baratheon.
Nobody felt sad when Joffrey died. Not even his mum, really, she was mostly angry and upset about the prophecy. Here's a hot take, though: I don't think he should have been murdered.
Gasp.
Look, he was a total evil shit and he sucked. I'm not disputing that. I'm not even going to argue that he was, what, 13 or 14 and therefore too young to be given power or really held responsible for his actions.
I just think that killing him was, strategically, a bad idea. Joffrey had an heir, and with him dead, Tommen just hopped up on the throne and asked for a kitten. He'd certainly make a better king than Joffrey, mostly due to the lack of bloodlust, and the Tyrells find him pretty easy to control. He'll listen to their advice, be kind to Margery, and he's so young that the Tyrells can install their allies on the small council before he can do anything.
So, Tommen, fine. But Tommen is going to die. Nobody knows aside from Cersei, admittedly, but it's certainly possible that he could pass in a variety of ways. The incest genes might get him, he could be assassinated, or perhaps he'd be executed. Westeros is a war! Kings die! I mean, in the main series so far, we've lost Robert Baratheon, Renley Baratheon, Viseries Targareon, Rob Stark, Baelon Greyjoy, Oberyn Martell and Quentin Martell. Royal blood doesn't keep you safe. And who is Tommen's heir?
Well. I can think of three answers, and none of them work too well. There's Stannis. Currently in open rebellion, lost up in the North, wildly unpopular because he sucks, he's affiliated with human sacrifice and because his forces killed a bunch of people attacking King's Landing. Not ideal. Next, there's Robert's cousins. I can't think of any, and that lack of name recognition is going to cause some problems. I think there was a female cousin who was a widow and Robert fucked? Oh, Robert. Also, if you're looking for the dead king's cousins, second cousins, and possibly cousins removed, you're stretching too far. Let's give up on that plan. Finally, there's Dany. Last legitimate Targ! Her family was killed and despised. None of the nobility want her. Plus, she's a little girl who is currently incredibly far from Westeros. Nobody wants a woman on the throne, because then other women might start thinking that they are humans who deserve rights and respect. Bleugh.
I guess there's Myrcella. Perhaps the Tyrells could marry her to Willas and compromise by giving their children the Baratheon surname. Cersei would lay an egg. That's probably the most likely, actually! Of course, she may have been swapped on the journey to Dorne, she's far away, she's in obvious danger and she's doomed. We know Tommen and Myrcella are going to die, but we don't know the order yet.
My point is, having a young king with no heirs is simply a bad idea. Ask Rob Stark!
Here's what I think the Tyrells should have done:
Marry Joffrey to Margery. Trust Tywin to keep him in line, make sure there are plenty of Tyrells around. Get Margery to (ew) fuck his brains out. She'll have at least one kid before Joffrey is old enough to rule by himself. Then, a few weeks before he turns 18, murder him. You could even do it at his birthday party, if you want the wow factor. Install Mace as the regent, then maybe Tommen, until little Joffrey junior is old enough to be on the throne. You could even marry Tommen to one of Margery's cousins to keep him in line. That way, there's always an heir and the Tyrell blood is always going to be mixed in and on the throne. It keeps things stable! Joffrey sucks, but he only really has power if Tywin and the small council give it to him.
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thebeesareback · 7 days
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Just spotted Charlotte Ritchie as an extra in Gossip Girl (series 1, The Blair Bitch Project). Wonder if she hung out with Penn Badgely on set...
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thebeesareback · 7 days
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Tell me something which isn't currently in style, but you still love. I'll start:
Stacked, artfully mismatched bracelets
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thebeesareback · 8 days
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It's kinda funny that the right wing media/social media makes such a big deal about the word "woke". I'm a left wing millennial woman and I heard the term a few times in 2016 or so? Mostly through fuckin' Brooklyn Nine-Nine and the odd think-peice, and I kinda went, huh. I appreciate being socially conscious and treating people with consideration and respect. I guess this is approximately what I'm aiming for. And then, to be honest, I continued to live my life. I try to be aware of my privilege and assorted issues and just make sure I'm doing what I can to make the world a better place. I didn't consciously start or stop using the word "woke".
And now, there seems to be this whole wave of right wing rhetoric who are proudly "anti-woke". They refuse to use the preferred pronouns for trans people and they say stuff like "all lives matter" and, if they're politicians, will cheerfully back laws and policies which they claim are "anti-woke". It's just very strange to me. Because woke, as a term, never meant that much to me, but they seem totally obsessed with it? For me, there's a certain unpleasant logic: if being woke means that you care about things - racism, for example - then to be anti-woke, you have to not care about racism. And politicians wouldn't say that, so they've found a fun little workaround.
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thebeesareback · 8 days
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Apparently people are thirsting over the ghoul from Fallout? This line is said without a flash of humour, btw
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thebeesareback · 9 days
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Had a go at some Taskmaster x The Onion headlines, inspired by these posts 1, 2, from the original mastermind @pandaroboto
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thebeesareback · 10 days
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One thing which I think gets overlooked in the discourse surrounding TSH is how much Charles changes through the story. Before Bunny's murder, he and Camilla seem to be the heart of the group. They are sweet to each other, welcoming to Richard, and just generally seem much better adjusted and kind. Charles is vocal about the fact that even considering killing Bunny is awful, and I think he is pretty consistently against it. Yes, Charles is an alcoholic, but given the company he keeps and the trauma of losing his parents, it's hardly surprising. I don't think I ever got the sense of him being a mean drunk, just someone who struggles to deal with his daily reality and needs a form of escapism and a coping mechanism - albeit an unhealthy one.
The murder of Bunny and the fact that he's much more involved with the police, and starts (understandably) to hate Henry is, I think, what really turns him to the dark side. None of the main characters are good people, and all are made worse by the events of the book. Charles' arc, though, is arguably the darkest, most severe, and most noticeable. Perhaps it's the guilt, or having to interact with Bunny's family, or just the fact that nothing he does will ever be as bad as killing a trusted friend. Why would you care about being an ass when you're a murderer?
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thebeesareback · 12 days
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Frederick, the potato king
I am not a monarchist. I do, however, occassionally look at monarchs and think, huh, they seem pretty cool. Meet Frederick the Great.
Frederick ruled Prussia from 1712 to 1786. During this time he:
was woken up by a cannon each morning, because his father wanted him to be a military leader
wrote "Anti-Machiavel", a rebuttal to Machiavelli's The Prince
was gay
married a woman to keep his father happy, then separated from her, gave her a palace and visited her once a year for her birthday
was friends with Voltaire
was king of Prussia but wrote exclusively in French. Frederick was a bit of a Francophile, mostly because his dad hated the place
introduced potatoes and turnips to Prussia, and was known as "Der Kartoffelkönig". Potatoes were initially unpopular, so Frederick had them planted and guarded so they looked expensive and desirable. However, the guards were told to let people steal the potatoes
his head was permanently tilted to one side because he spent so long playing his flute
opened the first veterinary school in Prussia
gave everyone free entry to the opera
sheltered Jean-Jacques Rousseau
was bad at spelling (a relatable icon) (also, he was writing in French, and French spelling is even more ridiculous than English)
drank eight cups of coffee each day, mixed with mustard and peppercorns. The cannon alarm clock was discontinued after his father died, so I guess eight cups of coffee would probably be just as effective for waking one up
his lasts words were "cover the dog, he's shivering".
wanted to be buried with his greyhounds. This didn't happen, but now he had a nice gravestone and people leave potatoes there
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thebeesareback · 16 days
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Libraries are the fucking best. You can just go there. And sit. And read. And do other stuff but I'm reading atm so that's my example. And it's free.
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thebeesareback · 17 days
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I'm not at all religious but I fucking love it when people include their pets in their ceremonies. I just saw a cat dressed up (and looking 🔥🔥) in little Iftar outfits. Remember that tweet about the Jewish household who got their cat an advent calendar because, well, who are they to tell the cat she has to be Jewish? I've seen videos of people taking a huge variety of animals to be blessed by the pope, all looking incredibly befuddled. And the cats who love their owners' prayer mats? So they have to have their own? Incredible
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thebeesareback · 18 days
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People criticise the citizens of Troy for just wheeling in a big wooden horse and then being suprised when soldiers jumped out and killed them, but they forget that the one guy who said it was a bad idea was promptly eaten by a sea snake
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thebeesareback · 23 days
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Tag yourself I’m the “Overdressed and Underappreciated”. Artist : http://www.mattadrian.com/ 
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