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artbycharl · 2 years

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shoutout to the simon snow series for being the only book series that has baz as a character

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artbycharl · 2 years

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"Hey can I test out using a new name/set of pronouns with you" is a bigger honor than the Nobel Peace Prize

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artbycharl · 2 years

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Re: Simon’s Unlabeled Sexuality

I was looking at this hilarious but heartfelt comic of the scene where Simon and Baz discuss Simon having slept with Agatha in the context of trying to figure out his sexual preferences (I have Shared Thoughts about this already, but I feel like I can say more things in a more organized manner this time) so anyway, the more I look at this the more convinced I am that it sheds light into 2 things

1. Why the apparently “obvious” labels are confusing for Simon.

It would be easy to look at things at a surface level and go “well, Simon had a gf then a bf so surely he must bi or pan” (and I’m not gonna go against anyone who hc him as that!). If I’m not misremembering, Baz brings up the question to help Simon figure out if he feels attraction towards women, which makes sense. For a lot of people, sexual attraction and sex go hand in hand –but they don’t have to! There’s a distinction, and there’s people perfectly capable of having sex (and enjoy the sensations etc) without experiencing sexual attraction for the person they’re with.

When Baz asks whether the sex was good (for Simon) Simon is dismissive and tries to change the subject. He goes “it was fine, it was sex” (I mean, imagine having sex with someone, asking them if they had a good time and they answer like this… it doesn’t sound negative, but would you think they actually enjoyed themselves? I know I wouldn’t lol). Then, Simon decides to open up and confesses that he doesn’t know if he was actually attracted to her, and Baz insists that “surely having sex means you were attracted to her” (again going with sexual attraction=sex, which is true for a lot of people, but isn’t always the case). It’s especially revealing to me that Simon answers “I thought I was! I thought I was going to marry her!” in the same breath, because it’s a sentence about being wrong. Simon thought he was going to marry Agatha, but he didn’t. He thought he was attracted to her, but… he wasn’t. Maybe he actually wasn’t. (The confusion it’s understandable, Simon did find her very beautiful, but being able to see or even appreciating beauty it’s not the same as feeling sexual attraction. It could go hand in hand! But again, it doesn’t have to).

In his own words, everything about Simon’s relationship with Agatha was just going through the motions, including trying out sex, which is supposed to be something at least somewhat passionate (they probably only took that step because of Teenage Curiosity in the first place). Simon (and also likely Agatha, since she’s Simon’s mirror) only did things because he thought he was supposed to. It was probably like going through the “Things Traditional Heroes Do With The Damsel In Distress Trophy Love Interest Because These Stories Tell You You Aren’t Complete Without A Typical Straight Romance” check-list with no particular stakes or attachment.

Either way, thinking about having sex with a girl he thought he was attracted to is not answering the question or whether or not he’s attracted to girls for him. He wonders, “what does that mean?” (that he had sex with a girl? what does that mean for him? for his sexuality?) and follows “we were just going through the motions” (which is like… the most unsexy way to describe having had sex, seriously, it makes me lean even more into there not being actual attraction on either side… did they have a little manual they were reading from step by step when they did it? gosh does it sound mechanical).

So, what does it mean? Well, it means that shit it’s confusing as hell, that’s what. It means that figuring out who we are, and what we want, and what we actually feel can be really fucking hard, and some times looking for answers just leaves us with more questions. And that’s perfectly fine! It’s normal. Some shit can remain a mystery, as a treat. Simon can wear a rainbow in the pride parade and not worry his handsome little head full of cute little curls about choosing any specific flags as far as I’m concerned.

2. It further highlights how strong his (sexual) feelings for Baz are

In this same book, the are many ways and instances where Simon looks at Baz and, in the words written the legendary Prince, he goes “Nothing Compares 2 U” [cues the saxo solo]

When Simon says that he never looked at Agatha and thought “how will I ever be big enough to hold my feelings for this person?” it’s obvious that he’s comparing it to what he feels for Baz. He goes from following the manual of “the fuck are couples supposed to do when they are together” comfortable in not really feeling shit, to feeling so much he doesn’t know what to with himself. That’s what Baz does to him, which is part of what scared him before they started communicating –there’s no manual for when you’re feeling all the feelings, you have to figure it out yourself, that one. Nothing mechanical about it. Simon loves him so much (like he has never loved before, like he will never love anyone else, he’s the love of all his lifes), and in the same line, he desires him so much, he feels like there’s just not enough of himself to contain it all.

There’s also a contrasts in Baz asking “was it (good?)” about his past sexual experience and Simon being like “well, it sure was a thing I did” but in scenes of closeness with Baz, Simon’s constantly going “it’s so good” and “I’ll make it so good for him”. Hell, there’s a scene in this book where Baz simply looks at him through his lashes that gets Simon so hot and bothered and “it’s so good” that he wants to smash his head against a wall lmao

Unlabeled Horny Simon Rights! it’s what I’m saying.

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artbycharl · 2 years

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I've been thinking a lot about queerness lately and I keep getting stuck on how deeply I want it to be normal. I want little girls to come home excitedly telling their parents about a pretty new girl in school that they have a crush on. I want young boys to have their first kiss with another boy and be able to tell their friends about it. I want them to be impressed and slap him on the back and say congrats. I want to bring home a woman to my family and have my father give her that whole fake threatening, "you better be good to my daughter" speech before offering her a handshake and a beer. I want people everywhere in the world to be able to hold hands in the street and not even think twice about it, not have to feel afraid, not have to feel like they're making a statement. I want so desperately for the world to catch up with something that so many of us already understand as normal. I don't want to be merely tolerated, and I wish pride wasn't necessary. I wish that having confidence in myself wasn't a revolutionary act.

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artbycharl · 2 years

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Heartstopper parallels

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artbycharl · 2 years

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ive been on tumblr almost eight years and i still dont know what homestuck was. was it a tv show? a comic book? a web series? i dont know and if you tell me i’ll block you immediately

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artbycharl · 2 years

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how do people make consistent art like i love him but i. scared ill never be able to do this again

#charliesdoodles #snowbaz #the simon snow trilogy #baz pitch #rainbow rowell #simon snow #snowbaz fanart #carry on fanart #co/ws #awtwb #fanart

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artbycharl · 2 years

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Currently obsessed with the Simon Snow trilogy and couldn’t help but doodle a BUNCH of Simons and Bazes. This batch is based on Carry On, the first book in the series :)

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artbycharl · 2 years

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