ask-the-villain-squad

[ask-the-villain-squad]

Bowser: Tamatoa! Do I have a “dad bod” or a “father figure”?!

Tamatoa: *bursts out laughing* Wait- Wait what?!

#villian squad #bowser #tamatoa #incorrect quotes #source: tiktok

[ask-the-villain-squad]

Bowser: Stuck in an elevator because Twoey decided to jump.

Everyone: Fucking mint!

Bowser: Pythor’s had three panic attacks in ten minutes.

Everyone: Fucking mint!

Bowser: Jake hasn’t said a thing since we got stuck.

Everyone: Fucking mint!

Bowser: Tamatoa has been immature and yelling the whole time.

Everyone: Fucking mint!

Bowser: Indominus has just been listening to music.

Everyone: Fucking mint!

Indominus: Bowser has to pee so bad he might get a bladder infection.

Everyone: Fucking mint!

Bowser: And Bill’s the one we’re gonna blame because he’s a minority.

Bill: Hey-!

Everyone: Fucking mint!

#audrey ii #bill cipher #bowser #pythor #rattlesnake jake #tamatoa #indominus rex #source: tiktok #villian squad #incorrect quotes

[ask-the-villain-squad]

There is a pile of flowers, letters, and "Get Well" cards on a table, which seem to have come from Ninjago. Some of them are by the Serpentine Generals, while others were sent by the Ninja. A few stick out to Pythor, as they appear to have come from a certain Lloyd Garmadon.

Jake: I’m gonna kill that oversized nacho for giving away yer location. But, aren’t ya gonna open em?

Pythor:…no

Jake: Why not?

Pythor: Because…I’ve tried to reconnect with Skales, Acidicus, Fangtom, and Skalidor for years but always met with coldness.

Pythor: And I can’t even get near the Ninja’s base without something being thrown at me or them “accidentally” talking bad about me.

Pythor: Yet the moment my gems almost crack because of someone’s insensitive prank they suddenly want to make amends.

Jake: Oh…I see. Well, I’m not gonna force ya but maybe at least open the one from that Lloyd kid? He is the one who’s the least aggressive towards ya, especially considering how many times ya help him out.

Pythor: I’ll…think about it.

Jake: Alright. *kisses him* Get some sleep, I’ll be here to take ya home in the morning.

Pythor: Alright, goodnight Jacob. *kisses him back*

Jake: *slides tail under his chin before leaving*

Pythor: *watches him leave before picking up Lloyd’s letter and frowning at it*

#villian squad #pythor #rattlesnake jake #ask blog #answered

[ask-the-villain-squad]

Oh good Pythor, you're finally awake. What? Something about your brother being an undead skeleton? Pythor, that never happened.

You hit your head hard on a corner of a table after fainting from eating snake soup, and have been in a coma for about a week. You were lucky that Twoey called for an ambulance the moment you fell unconscious; you actually fractured your skull, but fortunately your brain wasn't damaged. We bandaged your head after the surgery, and we've been monitoring your recovery. You'll be here for about 2-3 more weeks so that your body can fully heal. After that, you'll be sent home with a caretaker for about 2-3 more months to monitor your progress.

Now I have to go. There's someone who come to visit. A certian Jake.

Jake: *busts through door* Pythor! Pyth, yer awake!

Pythor: Ugh Jacob…?…my head…

Jake: Ya alright?

Pythor: Yeah…*rubs head* just a weird dream…my head gem didn’t crack, did it?

Jake: Why the hell else do ya think it’s wrapped up?

Pythor: WHAT?!

Jake: Hey! Relax will ya? The crack wasn’t bad, if it was ya would’ve been out for a lot longer. Or worse…

Pythor: Hey hey, look at me. I’m fine. *kisses his cheek*

Jake: Yeah…ya are. Just hurry up and get better so ya can get outta here already. *kisses him*

Pythor: *giggles* I’ll try.

*camera flash*

Bill: Oh shoot, forgot about the flash-!

Jake: CIPHER!

Bill: TIME TO RUN!

Jake: I OUTTA PUMP YER GUTS FULL OF LEAD!

Pythor: *facepalm*

#villian squad #ask blog #pythor #rattlesnake jake #bill cipher #answered

[ask-the-villain-squad]

So um... hey Jake. I don't mean you to interrupt this but, how was your 'brother' doing back there on the Town of Dirt and the citizens there too?

Jake: Oh Rango? Eh he’s alright last I checked. We’ve actually been sending letters to each other ever since I moved over here. It’s been kinda nice actually. Don’t tell him I said that.

Jake: As for the rest of dirt, from what Rango tells me, it’s fine. Though knowing him, I’m not exactly what’s the truth or what’s another one of his stories.

#villian squad #ask blog #rattlesnake jake

[ask-the-villain-squad]

What do you mean “Who’s Dipper and Mabel?” They’re Ford’s great nephew and niece, Pine Tree and Shooting Star?

Bill: First of all; Who’s Ford? Second of all; What kinda names are those?

#bill cipher #villian squad #ask blog

[ask-the-villain-squad]

*the undead Anacondrai looks at the locked door nervously*

*Pythor attempts to open the door, but finds it locked*

Pythor:…Twoey.

Twoey: Y-Yes?

Pythor: Why is my door locked?

Twoey: Uh…I don’t know…?

#audrey ii #pythor #villian squad #ask blog

[ask-the-villain-squad]

*hears Pythor before seeing Twoey slam the door shut*

*silently locks the door before going to eat the sandwich*

*proceeds to put the whole beef sandwich in his mouth, which disappears in his gullet as he swallows*

*silently* "Man this beef sandwich is good.*

Pythor: *hears him* Is…is there someone in there?

Twoey: NO! I-I mean, no of course not! Maybe you’re just…hearing things…?

Pythor:…Twoey move.

Twoey: Uh…why-

Pythor: *grabs him* Move.

Twoey: Ow OW! Watch the vines Pythor! Alright fine, but if you faint again I better not get beaten up by Jake or yelled at!

Pythor: Deal.

#audrey ii #pythor #villain squad #ask blog

[ask-the-villain-squad]

Hey Bill, do you ever regret what you did to Dipper and Mabel? Do you wish you could be friends with them?

Bill: Uh Dipper and Mabel….? Who are… Hey Bowser?

Bowser: Yeah?

Bill: Do we know any Dipper and Mabel?

Bowser: No, I don’t think so.

Bill: Yeah sorry, I don’t know who that is. If I did, maybe I would like to be friends with them.

#villain squad #bill cipher #bowser #ask blog

[ask-the-villain-squad]

So this is a question to all of you...

"If you were a human, what was your first thing to do?"

Bowser: If I was a human…I would probably be more or less the same.

Tamatoa: It would be a lot easier to pick up and collect certain things without my claws!

Indominus: I would probably find the ones who mistreated me and beat them up in ways I never could as I am now.

Pythor: I think…I think I would go back to Ninjago and help Lloyd with that “Serpentine rights” movement. He one of the only humans helping out with that.

Jake: I would most likely be more or less the same as well.

Twoey: I would start a singing career without worrying about people being scared of me. Wait…would I still have a taste for human…?

Bill: I’ve seen enough of those weird drawings to know I don’t want that.

#villian squad #audrey ii #bill cipher #bowser #pythor #rattlesnake jake #indominus rex #tamatoa #ask blog

[ask-the-villain-squad]

*gets the beef sandwich and water*

*whispering* "Thanks, Twoey."

*quietly goes back into Pythor's room before turning around*

*whispering* "Twoey, are you ok? You don't look so good."

Twoey: Yeah I’m fine, don’t worry. I’m just a little allergic to beef so the smell alone makes me a little nauseous-

Pythor: Twoey.

Twoey: GAH! *slams door* Oh! He-Hey Pythor! What’s up…?

Pythor: One; Why are you in front of my room? Two; Who are you talking to? You’re acting very suspicious, even for you.

Twoey: Uh…well…you see

#villian squad #audrey ii #pythor #ask blog

[ask-the-villain-squad]

*Pythor's brother leans his head to see Pythor before looking back at Twoey*

"Yeah, maybe your right. Though I'm still both starving and thirsty."

Twoey: Alright just stay here and out of sight, I’ll grab something for you. *walks away*

Twoey: What the hell do skeletons eat…?

Pythor: What was that?

Twoey: N-Nothing! Just thinking about this joke Bill told me earlier!

Bill: Joke? I never-

Jake: *smacks him*

Bill: OW! Oh-oh yeah! That one. The answer was spare ribs, Twoey.

Twoey: Yep! That’s the one!

Pythor: Ok…?

Twoey: *grabs water and sandwich* Welp, I’m just gonna take this and go, bye!

Pythor: Was Twoey acting a little strange to anyone?

Bowser: Strange? Strange how?

Pythor: Well for starters, he’s allergic to beef and he took a sandwich with beef on it.

#villian squad #ask blog #audrey ii #bill cipher #bowser #pythor #rattlesnake jake

[ask-the-villain-squad]

Ayo Pyth and Jake, who tops? :>

Jake: Me normally, but Pythor’s a switch.

Pythor: *covering face* Why did we have to get a question like this…?

#villian squad #ask blog #pythor #rattlesnake jake

[ask-the-villain-squad]

(Pythor's undead brother wakes up; he proceeds to have a small panic attack when sees Pythor gone before recollecting himself)

"It's ok, he probably woke up and got something to eat and drink. I should get up and get something too."

(He got up and went into the "living room" to get some food.)

Twoey: *grabs him with vines* Whoa whoa whoa, what do you think you’re doing? I know you wanna see Pythor and all but he just recovered from fainting. You can’t just walk in there all “hey what’s for breakfast?” it’ll make him faint again.

#villian squad #audrey ii #ask blog #pythor

[ask-the-villain-squad]

Twoey, I wish you and Seymour be best friends rather than be enemies of each other if you don't mind.

I admit that your voice sounds beautiful even if you are a human, everybody will die (just don't think the word 'MURDER').

Twoey: Um ok, I just realized I’ve never actually said this but, I’m not the original Audrey II

Twoey: Long story but technically I’m the second Audrey II, I sprouted from the original’s ashes with most of their memories but not all of them. All I really remember about my past life is Seymour taking care of me before I started getting admittedly too demanding and he started getting of me. I don’t remember too much besides Seymour feeding and talking to me.

Twoey: Honestly, I would like to be Seymour’s friend, but I’m pretty sure he would come after me with an axe before I could explain myself.

Twoey: Oh and thanks for the compliment, I appreciate it!

#villian squad #ask blog #audrey ii

[ask-the-villain-squad]

The Anacondria skeleton doesn't answer nor move, though the end of it's tail does flick around from time to time.

Pythor: Rodrigo, stop growling at it. *picks Rodrigo up* Come on, let’s go downstairs

#villian squad #ask blog #pythor

[ask-the-villain-squad]

Oh the skeleton?

Yeah,that just your brother who somehow came back from the dead as a reanimated skeleton

Pythor:…

Pythor: You are so lucky I’m already out of faints. I need some tea…

#villian squad #ask blog #pythor