b4g3lbit3s

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How to Take Care of Your First-Mate Who Has No Self-Care Skills 101. 🧜‍♂️🦄

(You cannot tell me that Izzy put an extra pillow under his own leg during the cursed suit try-on scene. I won't believe you. I've had this headcannon since the day S2E5 aired, so I had to draw it into reality! 🧜‍♂️🦄)

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It's what I eat for breakfast don't judge me

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lucius would teach stede how to slut drop and then stede would break his knees doing it

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #lucius spriggs

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I just think it's cute how Ed and Stede just want to spend all their time together, like canonically.

The crew are scrubbing the deck and where are Ed and Stede? Dangling their legs off the side of ship like kids.

No one knows what the plan is or where they are sailing, Ed and Stede are just holed up in the captain's quarters chatting shit all day.

Ed trailing after Stede in that Hessian sack, what ya doing captain? can I come with?

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Stede's lil face as he says "you weren't a dick life's a dick" while 100% knowing he's about to get another kiss for it ough

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co-captain cuddles

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canon-typical edizzy religious themes

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izzy make brain go brrrrrrrrr

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Modern t4t au where Ed and Stede meet at a pride community center and immediately become best friends. Stede's newly out as trans and gay, and Ed's been in the local pride scene for long enough to show him the ropes and appreciate his fresh perspective.

As usual, they're smitten instantly, but it takes Stede forever to work up the nerve to ask him out because it absolutely went over his head that Ed's trans too and he's heard the horror stories about dating cis guys.

They eventually wind up asking each other out at about the same time, and Stede's like "Oh, I was so worried you might not like the trans thing!" And Ed gets really still and quiet.

He kinda goes "Stede. Babe. I taught you how to do your t shots. I filled out your name change paperwork for you. I help you shave."

Stede's like "yeah, you're so nice!" And Ed wordlessly unlocks his phone to show him his wallpaper, which is a selfie of them from last pride where Ed's wearing a trans flag like a cape. And the penny drops.

Stede: I thought you were being supportive

Ed: yeah, of my own damn self, Stede

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guys i might have a girlfriend but i cant tell if she’s joking or not when we talk about dating

#im so fucked #the terror of realizing you might want to be more than just friends #or that you might already be more than friends and just didn’t know

[b4g3lbit3s]

where’s that post that’s like ‘the dentist is always filling my mouth with delicious water and tricking me into thinking i’m getting a nice drink before sucking it back out with their wretched little tube. dishonest behaviour’

that’s an ed teach post now. i’ve decided

[b4g3lbit3s]

ways of a gentleman

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gonna be honest guys, i can’t get with the “izzy is abusive” read. I’m a Ed girly fr he’s my beautiful baby boy but that interpretation feels rly flat compared to the relationship in the show, at least to me. Like in canon we watch two dudes take turns being dogshit to each other until they learn to be their own people and find lives outside of that dynamic and it’s always read more as “unhealthy relationship with a staggering amount of codependency” then straight up abusive from either side. At least that’s the interpretation i prefer bc i find it far more interesting to explore and think about then labeling one side as the bad guy and the other side as the victim. It feels way more complicated then that.

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guys i might have a girlfriend but i cant tell if she’s joking or not when we talk about dating

#WHAT DO I DO #we’ve been best friends for 7 years #we always joke about dating and/or getting married #but romance is so weird for me because im into the idea but its also kind of terrifying #sometimes im into it and sometimes im not so im not even sure id be a good partner #and i dont want to label my love for her as romantic because it is but also isnt #i adore her and she’s a wonderful person and truly just the light of my life #she makes me so stupidly happy all the time and she’s been there for me at my lowest points #BUT I DONT WANT TO LABEL IT AS ROMANTIC BECAUSE THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE VOMITING IN THE BAD WAY #and i am NOT hitting her with the “what are we” 😭 #lgbtq #sapphic #lesbian #good golly gosh #im probs somewhere on the aroace spectrum but i truly do not care enough to use labels #im just saying though #i would treat her SO right if we were dating #like a fucking goddess

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don't let my silence fool you even if im not screaming about stede bonnet im thinking about him

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The thing is I do like (s1) Gentlebeard but occasionally I’ll be jumpscared in a fic with a line like “and Izzy who is rotten to his core and deserved to die kept our two lovers apart” that immediately takes me out of it 🥲

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art garfunkel is such an unfortunate name

#music #simon and garfunkel #art garfunkel