batbrainrot

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Diana, looking into the camera as Bruce and Clark have yet another couples' argument in front of the entire JLA.

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"but what would brucie wear?" you all ask in unison.

well. i don't think bruce would go as far as wearing a corset or something, but he'd still find a way to serve absurd amounts of cunt. i imagine something like this dior bc of course he'd wear haute couture. simple, but very mother of him.

if he did decide to wear a corset (aka his kids harassed him into it), this mcqueen is the one. same concept as the other: nothing too out there but still out of his comfort zone enough to drive everybody completely insane.

steph would definitely vouch for something campier("IT'S RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE, BRUCE. STEP. UP.), but ultimately they found middle ground. she'll try harder next time tho.

a particular hc of mine is that brucie wayne DEFINITELY was a guest judge on rupaul's drag race at some point (probably more than once too).

like just imagine the chaos of brucie being the guest on snatch game and just straight up flirting with ru the entire time. him giving the most genuine compliments to the queens, and being super sweet while giving constructive criticism to the ones who flopped. they flirt with him, he flirts back. he's absolutely flabbergasted watching the lip sync battle. "not even my eldest son who's an actual acrobat could do what you just did", he smiles. he's devasted when a queen gets eliminated. everyone loves brucie. everyone wants brucie. twitter is on fire.

#i need one of you talented little angels out there to draw this like asap #i can't get it out of my head!!!!!! #brucie wayne is for the gays and the girls and we need more of him

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a particular hc of mine is that brucie wayne DEFINITELY was a guest judge on rupaul's drag race at some point (probably more than once too).

like just imagine the chaos of brucie being the guest on snatch game and just straight up flirting with ru the entire time. him giving the most genuine compliments to the queens, and being super sweet while giving constructive criticism to the ones who flopped. they flirt with him, he flirts back. he's absolutely flabbergasted watching the lip sync battle. "not even my eldest son who's an actual acrobat could do what you just did", he smiles. he's devasted when a queen gets eliminated. everyone loves brucie. everyone wants brucie. think jeff goldbloom but a million times better. twitter is on fire.

#his kids being harassed on social media bc their dad is the hottest man on earth #batman #brucie wayne #hc #headcanon #random

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More things from my day as batfam incorrect quotes:

Dick: You wanna know what I've never been able to wrap my head around?

Tim: Long poles?

Dick: The fact that- ..what?

Tim: I just feel like a head would be too thick and clonky to really get all the way up and around it if it's like a super tall pole, heads ain't flexible like that.

Dick: How does your head go to places like this?

Tim: I just explained that is not possible.

Dick: No, I meant like your train of thought.

Tim: Oh my thought process isn't a train, it's actually the 1998 batmobile.

Dick: Of course it is.

Tim: What's your vehicle of thought?

Dick: Why would I have an answer to that?

Tim: Come on, you've thought about it, I know you have.

Dick: ...

Dick: The original turtle van from the 1987 tmnt cartoon.

Tim: I knew it.

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Jason: You’re toast!

Stephanie: Oh yeah? You and what toaster?

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can i have this headcanon that when Dick was growing out his hair and Jason was already in the family, that maybe Dick really loved to comb Jason's curly hair? and vice versa???

"Aww. I love your curls, Little Wing. It makes you more precious." Dick commented when he combed young Jason's hair one night after patrol.

Dick tried to make this a daily occurance, but it was hard as sometimes he was away from Jason. and there were those arguments with Bruce that led to hurtful words and doubts. but Dick tried his best to be there for Jason.

"Shuut uuup, Dickface." Young Jason huffed, but blushing and trying to hide his smile from his big brother. "And don't call me Little Wing. I'm not little."

Dick gave a soft laugh at that. "Sure, whatever you say."

it didn't matter how many times young Jason complained that he didn't want Dick to take care of his hair or call him that endearment, but Dick knew that his younger brother secretly loved it.

"Now, it's my turn!" Young Jason would happily comb Dick's long hair and he wished he would have a hair like his big brother.

Dick would answer, "If you have a long, curly hair, you would look like a prince."

"Shuut uuup, Dick." Young Jason muttered behind Dick as he hid his growing smile. "Aren't you the prince here?"

Dick smiled lovingly at his reply.

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Gentle persuasion

A veeeeeery loose sequel to this (x)

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Tim, after having a mental breakdown literally 10 seconds ago: ....wanna hear facts about whales?

Bruce: I don't have a parenting book for this-

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magic trick

(the baby on board sticker would hypothetically make people drive more carefully around her) (thus allowing a bit of lenience on her driving abilities) (please don’t play hayday while driving)

masterlist

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Dick: why didn't you bring your partner to dinner tonight, Jay?

Jason, playing dumb: no idea what you're talking about, Dickhead

Dick: oh come on, I know you're dating someone!

Steph: what, you think Jason has game??? get real

-later-

Steph: oh, I know Jason's dating Roy. he's not slick about hiding it. I just thought it was funny to gaslight Dick

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AGENT 37 and BLACK OAK in GRAYSON #1

#why can't gay people just flirt normally like what the fuck fo you mean 'you fight like jazz' #NOW KISS

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Every Nightwing Comic Ever: “I’ve been a lot of things in my life: Sidekick. Vigilante. Acrobat. Son. Boy Wonder. Titan. Flying Grayson. Cop. Spy. Detective. Circus Owner. Mayor’s Assistant. Bartender. Model. Mentor. Leader. Fitness Instructor. Stripper. Tax Evader. University Student. Tiger King. Y2K Survivor. Jesse McCartney. Anesthesiologist. Activia Spokemans. Bernie Supporter. Chimney Sweep. Twitch Streamer. Midwife. HPV Positive. But tonight I’m just....NIGHTWING ”

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i think the batfam would have their own ways to show approval of timbern, and red hood's way of welcoming bernard is to give him a gun. just to be safe, u know.

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Kori observing human couples and then looking at her and Dick and wondering if he doesn’t like that they don’t fit the human couple gender roles.

Then she finds out he is very much loving the fact she can throw him like a rag doll and that he fits into her shirts.

#i miss them sm bro

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yall fw talia?

#oh i fw her big time #LOOK HOW GORGEOUS!!!

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Dick: Steph, what is my one rule!? Steph: You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows? Dick: My other one rule. Steph: Flaxseed relieves upset stomach? Dick: My other one rule. Steph: Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Bruce invites you to something stupid? Dick: My other one rule. Steph: College girls sprint to third base and stay there? Dick: My other one rule. Steph: New is always better? Dick: NEW IS ALWAYS BETTER!

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Bruce: *wears dark gray*

Alfred: I see you’re breaking out the spring colors.