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Y/N : Hold the fuck up.
Bucky: Excuse me?
Y/N : I said hold the fuck up.
Bucky:
Y/N : I’m the fuck up, hold me.
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Y/N : Priest kink is definitely a thing and I am afflicted by it.
Bucky: Go to church.
Bucky: WAIT—
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Bucky: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.
Y/N : I will politely decline.
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Bucky : Why would you think any of this was a good idea?
Y/N: Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.
Bucky :
Y/N: I don't know how you keep forgetting this.
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Y/N: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.
Bucky: That's great, Y/N. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.
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Y/N, throwing their head into Bucky's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Bucky, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
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*Y/N comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Bucky’s bedroom.*
Bucky: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?
Y/N: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a husband.
Y/N: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*
Bucky: ...
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Bucky: You have to apologize to them Y/N.
Y/N: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!
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Y/N: Are we fighting or flirting?
Bucky: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-
Y/N: Your point?
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Bucky: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.
Y/N: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.
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Bucky: Can you cut me some slack, Y/N? I’m sort of in love.
Y/N: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.
Bucky: I’m in love with you.
Y/N: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.
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Y/N: This date is boring!
Bucky: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
Y/N: Then why did you invite me?
Bucky: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Bucky, I'll do whatever I want!”
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🤣🤣 nothing says I love you like a bouquet of death 🤣🤣
Y/N: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Bucky: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
Y/N: I don't know, surprise me!
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Y/N: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.
Bucky : Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.
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Y/N: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Bucky: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
Y/N: I don't know, surprise me!
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Bucky : The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.
Y/N: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.
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Bucky : Talk dirty to me~
Y/N: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.
Bucky : Wha-
Y/N: The economy is in shambles.
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