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cataclysmus · 5 hours
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cataclysmus · 6 hours
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“I highly doubt that…. Explain.”
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"It has been quite a vhile since I've been around."
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cataclysmus · 7 hours
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“Oh. You’re alive.”
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"It has been quite a vhile since I've been around."
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cataclysmus · 12 hours
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“…Is that so?”
Seven or eight days unconscious…. It was difficult to imagine, and Alexei didn’t even seem in the right headspace to fully comprehend the real weight behind that number, simply continuing to blink ever so slowly as he watched the other.
Oddly enough, it took the outward mention of a drink for Alexei to even register his own thirst, and even still, once more he failed to recognize the severity of the feeling. It seemed that delirium would do that to a person.
His gaze lazily followed the other as he stood from his chair, light breaths unsteady and slow.
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“What happened…?” He finally uttered the question that plagued him since the moment he opened his eyes, unknowingly revealing just how little he currently remembered of their situation.
“Where are we now…?”
Those tired crimson eyes could hardly keep up with Raven, even just the small movement of him sitting up in his chair proving to be just a bit much to follow; yet he managed to lock back in on that expression of his once he was still again. He wasn’t used to seeing so much emotion in those eyes that had once looked so dead… but it felt impossible to decipher all of the complexities behind them now.
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“You were worried…?” He managed out in a whisper, that much having appeared clear to him… even if it was still shocking. It was that naive innocence behind his eyes, and the long withheld sighs that he finally let loose that gave him away more than any words could.
“…I’m sorry.” For what he was apologizing, he couldn’t say. It simply felt right. Necessary, even, as he slowly glanced the other up and down.
“You look… exhausted.” Alexei’s brows would furrow as he scanned him over once and again,
“Have… you been eating and sleeping well…?”
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cataclysmus · 1 day
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Those tired crimson eyes could hardly keep up with Raven, even just the small movement of him sitting up in his chair proving to be just a bit much to follow; yet he managed to lock back in on that expression of his once he was still again. He wasn’t used to seeing so much emotion in those eyes that had once looked so dead… but it felt impossible to decipher all of the complexities behind them now.
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“You were worried…?” He managed out in a whisper, that much having appeared clear to him… even if it was still shocking. It was that naive innocence behind his eyes, and the long withheld sighs that he finally let loose that gave him away more than any words could.
“…I’m sorry.” For what he was apologizing, he couldn’t say. It simply felt right. Necessary, even, as he slowly glanced the other up and down.
“You look… exhausted.” Alexei’s brows would furrow as he scanned him over once and again,
“Have… you been eating and sleeping well…?”
First, it was just a single finger that would twitch against the sheets below. Hours later, both eyelids would begin to flick about. Raven, deep in a sleep of his own, albeit a far more temporary one, had missed both signs indicating that the man before him may soon wake.
Another hour would pass, another twitch of a muscle, just a quick jolt of a hand, barely even an inch off the mattress, yet still it was the most movement Alexei’s body had experienced in several days.
Just one hour more, and at last the eyes that had remained closed for far too many nights would strain open, heavy as though they weighed several pounds.
Everything felt just a bit fuzzy— most of all, his head; a jumble of incoherent thoughts he couldn’t yet decipher.
This room didn’t look familiar. Not now, anyway, disoriented as he was. Even now, it was his first instinct to investigate, yet he couldn’t so much as lift his head from the pillow, plagued by the most awful sensation of vertigo for even making the attempt.
It was just then that his blurred gaze would come to a focus on the figure before him, however, and the mere presence of that person was enough to ground him in reality long enough that he could ascertain the situation at last. His mind was still waking— and he didn’t know that he could remember what led him here… but if he was watching over him like this, it surely meant he’d gotten into some kind of trouble. …Perhaps he’d remember soon. Either way…
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“Schwann…?” Alexei’s voice was hardly audible, eyes closing and reopening so slowly, one would think he was just that close to losing consciousness again, but instead, his fingers would twitch as he managed to lift his hand from his side; a hand that so naturally found itself brushing that messy black hair from the other’s face in an attempt to get a better look at him.
How exhausted he looked… the dark bags beneath his eyes evident even as they remained closed. Alexei could only lay there and wonder how long the other had been fretting over him like this. His hand remained there with the utmost gentleness, fingers brushing past his cheek even as his eyes struggled to remain open, one slow blink after the other.
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cataclysmus · 1 day
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[stares you down intensely]
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Alexei squints loudly.
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cataclysmus · 1 day
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Send ♡ to see what my muse thinks of yours
○○○○○ | ATTRACTION ○○○○○ | AFFECTION ○○○○○ | INTEREST ○○○○○ | LOYALTY ○○○○○ | TRUST
LOW | ●●●●● | HIGH
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cataclysmus · 1 day
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♡ — @cataclysmus // well, Raven???? //
●●●●● | ATTRACTION ●●●○○ | AFFECTION ●●○○○ | INTEREST ●●●●○ | LOYALTY ●●●●○ | TRUST
​🇦​​🇹​​🇹​​🇷​​🇦​​🇨​​🇹​​🇮​​🇴​​🇳​ ⦂ world hard tiddy warm soft maybe he didn't want to quite admit it out loud but alexei was an incredibly attractive man and though could pull the most terrifying of expressions, his eyes were like wine. smash. ​🇦​​🇫​​🇫​​🇪​​🇨​​🇹​​🇮​​🇴​​🇳​ ⦂ his affection towards alexei extends far, far back. from being a new knight in casey's brigade looking up to the man who'd brought them together to the bond they created working along side each other. even when that bond had tainted and rotted did raven ever struggle to let go of what was, as it was the last thing held onto that time. maybe the only thing that could save alexei from what he nearly became. ​🇮​​🇳​​🇹​​🇪​​🇷​​🇪​​🇸​​🇹​ ⦂ their interests highly clash, one introverted man dealing with an extrovert, ontop of ravens near self destructive drinking habits. the times he can get raven to sit still, they could both find themselves becoming engaged in the same activity. still sucked at chess though. ​🇱​​🇴​​🇾​​🇦​​🇱​​🇹​​🇾​ ⦂ he was loyal, then he wasn't and then he was again. it was a real bloody back and fourth when it came to raven, especially when alexei had taken that loyalty and put it on a tight leash. he loses a loyal point for what he did to schwann at the end, but raven will still have his back in a way. ​🇹​​🇷​​🇺​​🇸​​🇹​ ⦂ weirdly, his trust is undoubtfully higher than his loyalty. alexei had the means to kill him faster than any human on the planet. even when schwann had stayed behind willingly in baction, it had been more his own choice to be buried away with dein nomos in those ruins. did he believe alexei would still maybe stab him in the back? a bit, yeah, but what's life if you didn't live on the edge. @cataclysmus
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cataclysmus · 2 days
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cataclysmus · 2 days
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♡ — @cataclysmus //well this should be fun and not wholesome at all.//
@cataclysmus
○○○○○ | ATTRACTION ●○○○○ | AFFECTION ●●○○○ | INTEREST ○○○○○ | LOYALTY ●●○○○ | TRUST
Attraction: Not his type. Sorry, Lexi.
Affection: To a point, he has affection. Before everything went down Yuri did at least have some hope of respect for Alexei. Flynn also deeply admired him and for a little while, Yuri really hoped the knights would be set straight by him, but he had his doubt because of how crazy everything was and because knights still got away with so much harmful chaos and nonsense. After everything settled in our Alexei survival verse, he at least has appreciation for the fact that Alexei isn't still insistent that he just "did the right thing", but accepts that he did what he thought was right and acknowledging that it wasn't. If Alexei truly wants to atone, Yuri will give him that chance because the people Yuri dealt with before "like" Alexei didn't care to atone. Their upset at being found out was purely selfish, and their only regret was that their life was in danger. Alexei has potential to go up in the affection section, even if it's going to hard to break into on Yuri's end (especially because the betrayal directly affected Flynn and Raven, so it wasn't just a betrayal that he could've been like oh yeah a knight betraying people what a surprise. It deeply hurt people he loves and that plays a huge role in his stubbornness to forgive).
Interest: If Alexei could really be the type of person he used to be again, then Yuri would like to see that. Right now he isn't sure where Alexei will go, or if he'll just wallow in guilt. Both Raven and Flynn seemed to see something in Alexei that Yuri didn't, and he wants to trust their opinions on what Alexei used to be/could be again, but he's skeptical. He accepts Alexei wanting to atone, and he's interested in getting to know the Alexei that people used to know, but the main barrier is that he's interested in a ghost of Alexei that he can't be sure will be revived. He'll give him the chance, but he's not holding out on expectations.
Loyalty: At the moment, none. It's possible he might gain some along the way, but at the moment, he doesn't feel any sense of loyalty toward him.
Trust: It exists, but mainly because he knows Alexei has enough guilt to act on some things. It's low because he isn't entirely sure what he can trust Alexei with, but if people close to him believe Alexei can come back from everything, he'll give him a chance. If we also consider it from a post thread perspective, Alexei did risk himself to save Yuri's life. Trust exists, but Alexei is in the works.
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cataclysmus · 2 days
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💬 + Alexei, I heard ur mom gay.
“If my mother were ‘gay’, as you so crudely put it, then how do you suspect she conceived me? Your argument is flawed and therefore baseless.”
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Owned.
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cataclysmus · 2 days
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💬 "Soooo, Lexi... is it true you got drunk at a bar and kissed Raven?"
“I was not drunk. I was dragged to that bar against my will and had barely even a drink.” Was Alexei once again getting caught up in the wrong details? Apparently.
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“And Yuri? Do not call me ‘Lexi’ again.”
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cataclysmus · 2 days
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First, it was just a single finger that would twitch against the sheets below. Hours later, both eyelids would begin to flick about. Raven, deep in a sleep of his own, albeit a far more temporary one, had missed both signs indicating that the man before him may soon wake.
Another hour would pass, another twitch of a muscle, just a quick jolt of a hand, barely even an inch off the mattress, yet still it was the most movement Alexei’s body had experienced in several days.
Just one hour more, and at last the eyes that had remained closed for far too many nights would strain open, heavy as though they weighed several pounds.
Everything felt just a bit fuzzy— most of all, his head; a jumble of incoherent thoughts he couldn’t yet decipher.
This room didn’t look familiar. Not now, anyway, disoriented as he was. Even now, it was his first instinct to investigate, yet he couldn’t so much as lift his head from the pillow, plagued by the most awful sensation of vertigo for even making the attempt.
It was just then that his blurred gaze would come to a focus on the figure before him, however, and the mere presence of that person was enough to ground him in reality long enough that he could ascertain the situation at last. His mind was still waking— and he didn’t know that he could remember what led him here… but if he was watching over him like this, it surely meant he’d gotten into some kind of trouble. …Perhaps he’d remember soon. Either way…
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“Schwann…?” Alexei’s voice was hardly audible, eyes closing and reopening so slowly, one would think he was just that close to losing consciousness again, but instead, his fingers would twitch as he managed to lift his hand from his side; a hand that so naturally found itself brushing that messy black hair from the other’s face in an attempt to get a better look at him.
How exhausted he looked… the dark bags beneath his eyes evident even as they remained closed. Alexei could only lay there and wonder how long the other had been fretting over him like this. His hand remained there with the utmost gentleness, fingers brushing past his cheek even as his eyes struggled to remain open, one slow blink after the other.
Alexei’s expression twitched the very second Raven opened his mouth, shouting with such an uncharacteristically booming voice. He could have sworn the life was yelled back into him, just then.
Raven was infuriated, and had every right to be, jumping from one thought to the next without missing a beat, and without losing any of his fire… that was until he paused a moment, and right then, it felt as though Raven had made the sudden decision to bear his soul before him.
“I didn't want t' lose the last friend i had from that time!”
…The last friend? …Since when had he—?
He hadn’t realized until several seconds after Raven had finished speaking that his jaw was left ever slightly agape, lips moving silently as if wishing to speak words his mind hadn’t even the time to process. But finally he would find himself, compose himself, and with a testing glance he managed a smile.
“If I did wish to die here… would you even let me…?”
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There was a hesitance, long enough that it served as an answer in and of itself, even after Raven answered with a quick
“If that’s what you want”,
It was evident how it made him feel. Even if Raven was truly willing to let him see his death through… it wasn’t something he wanted, and Alexei couldn’t bear to put that weight on his shoulders.
“…How childish you still are, to consider me a friend. Surely you realize… this is not how friends ought to treat each other.” If friends were what they were… then Alexei had been a truly terrible one. Perhaps the worst friend to ever live.
“….You’ve still so much to learn… it’s baffling… how foolish you are.” Alexei choked in the midst of a soft chuckle, vision fading white for a split second.
“If there’s anything I’m least worthy of… it’s…”
Your friendship?
Your respect?
You…?
There was no telling how he’d intended to finish the thought, for he so quickly brushed past it.
“…Forget it… It’s just a relief, to finally hear you talk about yourself like this… to hear you accept that you’re alive… that you’re human.” Alexei was able to focus just long enough to really, truly smile at the other, even as his hand clutched desperately at his wounds, temperature declining further and further.
“…I don’t want to die… not when you’re finally starting to live.” It was uncertain whether the tear that dripped down his cheek was caused by the pain, the exhaustion, or by the very topic at hand. He’d been too dazed to notice it himself.
“I… wouldn’t be… able… to…”
White.
All he could see was white.
“…To—“
Alexei, no longer able to hold up his own head, slumped back against that tree in a mere instant, hands falling stiff at his sides as his breathing grew faint.
…At the very least, he was thankful he hadn’t had to die alone.
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cataclysmus · 3 days
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Alexei’s expression twitched the very second Raven opened his mouth, shouting with such an uncharacteristically booming voice. He could have sworn the life was yelled back into him, just then.
Raven was infuriated, and had every right to be, jumping from one thought to the next without missing a beat, and without losing any of his fire… that was until he paused a moment, and right then, it felt as though Raven had made the sudden decision to bear his soul before him.
“I didn't want t' lose the last friend i had from that time!”
…The last friend? …Since when had he—?
He hadn’t realized until several seconds after Raven had finished speaking that his jaw was left ever slightly agape, lips moving silently as if wishing to speak words his mind hadn’t even the time to process. But finally he would find himself, compose himself, and with a testing glance he managed a smile.
“If I did wish to die here… would you even let me…?”
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There was a hesitance, long enough that it served as an answer in and of itself, even after Raven answered with a quick
“If that’s what you want”,
It was evident how it made him feel. Even if Raven was truly willing to let him see his death through… it wasn’t something he wanted, and Alexei couldn’t bear to put that weight on his shoulders.
“…How childish you still are, to consider me a friend. Surely you realize… this is not how friends ought to treat each other.” If friends were what they were… then Alexei had been a truly terrible one. Perhaps the worst friend to ever live.
“….You’ve still so much to learn… it’s baffling… how foolish you are.” Alexei choked in the midst of a soft chuckle, vision fading white for a split second.
“If there’s anything I’m least worthy of… it’s…”
Your friendship?
Your respect?
You…?
There was no telling how he’d intended to finish the thought, for he so quickly brushed past it.
“…Forget it… It’s just a relief, to finally hear you talk about yourself like this… to hear you accept that you’re alive… that you’re human.” Alexei was able to focus just long enough to really, truly smile at the other, even as his hand clutched desperately at his wounds, temperature declining further and further.
“…I don’t want to die… not when you’re finally starting to live.” It was uncertain whether the tear that dripped down his cheek was caused by the pain, the exhaustion, or by the very topic at hand. He’d been too dazed to notice it himself.
“I… wouldn’t be… able… to…”
White.
All he could see was white.
“…To—“
Alexei, no longer able to hold up his own head, slumped back against that tree in a mere instant, hands falling stiff at his sides as his breathing grew faint.
…At the very least, he was thankful he hadn’t had to die alone.
Each disembodied cry from beyond the darkness only further outlined the dangers outside the city's barrier that Alexei had so stubbornly ignored. It was a grounding revelation, to be sure, to realize that all it might take was one hungry wolf to tear him limb from limb, in the state he found himself in now. Blood leaked from his wound, pooling along the ground below, staining his clothes and the tree he leaned against.
Every second that ticked by was a second closer to death… His vision blurred, limbs growing cold and head hanging low as his heart fell into a slowed rhythm. He was confident he would die here alone… yet it was Raven’s voice that cut through the night and lulled him from his daze.
Was Alexei really so pathetic that he’d gone and conjured up a hallucination now?
…No. Alexei wasn’t that far gone. He could tell this was the real Raven, who’d been just stubborn enough himself to follow after him.
It was an odd feeling, seeing him here now, hearing that familiar, almost comforting voice, a feeling he could have sworn was that of relief; perhaps merely because it would have been far too pitiful, dying here alone. Or perhaps it was something else. Nevertheless, it was a surprise.
Raven had been out like a light. Not one of Alexei’s attempts to stir him from his slumber had ended in success, and it had been several hours since he’d departed from that safe house. How exactly had Raven managed to catch up to him? Had he really been that slow? …Or; Alexei glanced down, his weak, half lidded gaze noting the blood soaked ground surrounding him; had he just been sitting here, bleeding out for that long?
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“You hopeless fool. You’re the lunatic…. Why would you come for me…?” It felt out of place, the small smile that sat upon his lips as he scolded the other. Why was he smiling, exactly? It didn’t suit him at all.
“I made my choice… as you wanted.” Alexei couldn’t help but dwell on words spoken the day prior, words Raven, on the other hand, had likely already forgotten, given they’d merely been spoken in the heat of the moment. To Alexei, however, they held far more weight.
“…What difference should it make to you? It’s no longer… your obligation to serve me. You were… nothing more than a puppet to me from the beginning, and now… you’re no longer even that. You’re no longer Schwann… and thus no longer mine. There’s nothing left… connecting the two of us to each other.” Oh. He couldn’t even feel his arms anymore. What an odd feeling.
“…At least allow me to turn myself in… with some dignity left intact… if you’ve any respect left for me at all.” Alexei choked out, his voice quiet and raspy, nothing like the serious, commanding tone Raven had grown so familiar to. Who was he even kidding…? There was no turning himself in anymore. He was going to die here, but he was too out of it to even see that much.
“I don’t wish to run from judgment any longer.”
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cataclysmus · 3 days
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cataclysmus · 3 days
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Each disembodied cry from beyond the darkness only further outlined the dangers outside the city's barrier that Alexei had so stubbornly ignored. It was a grounding revelation, to be sure, to realize that all it might take was one hungry wolf to tear him limb from limb, in the state he found himself in now. Blood leaked from his wound, pooling along the ground below, staining his clothes and the tree he leaned against.
Every second that ticked by was a second closer to death… His vision blurred, limbs growing cold and head hanging low as his heart fell into a slowed rhythm. He was confident he would die here alone… yet it was Raven’s voice that cut through the night and lulled him from his daze.
Was Alexei really so pathetic that he’d gone and conjured up a hallucination now?
…No. Alexei wasn’t that far gone. He could tell this was the real Raven, who’d been just stubborn enough himself to follow after him.
It was an odd feeling, seeing him here now, hearing that familiar, almost comforting voice, a feeling he could have sworn was that of relief; perhaps merely because it would have been far too pitiful, dying here alone. Or perhaps it was something else. Nevertheless, it was a surprise.
Raven had been out like a light. Not one of Alexei’s attempts to stir him from his slumber had ended in success, and it had been several hours since he’d departed from that safe house. How exactly had Raven managed to catch up to him? Had he really been that slow? …Or; Alexei glanced down, his weak, half lidded gaze noting the blood soaked ground surrounding him; had he just been sitting here, bleeding out for that long?
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“You hopeless fool. You’re the lunatic…. Why would you come for me…?” It felt out of place, the small smile that sat upon his lips as he scolded the other. Why was he smiling, exactly? It didn’t suit him at all.
“I made my choice… as you wanted.” Alexei couldn’t help but dwell on words spoken the day prior, words Raven, on the other hand, had likely already forgotten, given they’d merely been spoken in the heat of the moment. To Alexei, however, they held far more weight.
“…What difference should it make to you? It’s no longer… your obligation to serve me. You were… nothing more than a puppet to me from the beginning, and now… you’re no longer even that. You’re no longer Schwann… and thus no longer mine. There’s nothing left… connecting the two of us to each other.” Oh. He couldn’t even feel his arms anymore. What an odd feeling.
“…At least allow me to turn myself in… with some dignity left intact… if you’ve any respect left for me at all.” Alexei choked out, his voice quiet and raspy, nothing like the serious, commanding tone Raven had grown so familiar to. Who was he even kidding…? There was no turning himself in anymore. He was going to die here, but he was too out of it to even see that much.
“I don’t wish to run from judgment any longer.”
The trek to Heliord was about as treacherous as Alexei had foreseen. With his body still a terrible aching mess, the distance he was able to cover was cut drastically in half, the howls and cooing of creatures of the night making it all the more apparent just how late it had grown.
He should have been to Heliord by now, yet he was almost entirely out of breath before making it even half of the way there. Perhaps it was a mistake that Alexei would push himself to continue moving onward, for a sudden shock of pain struck along his wound, forcing a deep grunt out of him as he lurched over in pain, managing to find support against a nearby tree.
The monsters that lurked about seemed all too eager to jump on his first show of weakness, for all too suddenly it was two of them that were leaping from the shadows. A quick gasp escaped him as he swiftly turned around, sword swinging down at one and failing to do anything more than create a bigger opening for the other.
That single mistake was what allowed the lingering monster to close what little distance was protecting him from them, moving so quickly he hadn’t even the time to identify the creature before a sharp pain resonated throughout the entirety of his torso. Crimson eyes shot open wide, the panic coursing through him leading him to slice clean through flesh without even thinking about it— leaving him surrounded by the severed bits and pieces of two carcasses.
Alexei would look around, vision blurring quickly, but verifying there were no more monsters in sight before his trembling hand moved to his chest, then back up in his field of vision, revealing the dark color that now drenched his hands. The moment his adrenaline died, he was on his knees, breath heavy and fast as he pulled himself up against that same tree he’d leaned upon earlier.
Dammit… Alexei would glance down again at his bloodied hands, sword dropped beside him, and slowly close his eyes. He’d intended to get to Heliord quickly, before Raven even had a chance of noticing he was missing, but… he wondered if it would be okay to just close his eyes for a minute or two, at least. He was far too exhausted and in far too much pain to consider the consequences now.
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A light chuckle escaped him, lips pulling upward into a weak smile as he considered what Raven might say if he saw him in this state now. Surely he’d chide him for how much of a fool he’d been, and didn’t he deserve it? Had he just waited until morning, he wouldn’t be bleeding out against a damn tree in the dead of night like this. …But perhaps this was fine too.
“Forgive me for this, Schwann….”
If this was how the world deemed it fit for him to pay for his crimes… then so be it.
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cataclysmus · 4 days
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Send 💬 + a rumor and my muse will react to it.
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