ciao-itsurmom

[ciao-itsurmom]

Me when I starve, consume enormous amounts of caffeine, and vape until I'm light headed

[ciao-itsurmom]

lol i just started seeing someone new and they were like “can I pick you up?”

“i mean you can but i might just kill myself after hahahahaha”

#thinspo #edtumblr #a stumble #edmemes #ed

[ciao-itsurmom]

i’ve had this account for 4 years and I just learned what waif meant 😶🤦🏻‍♀️

#thinspo #edtumblr #edmemes #ed #anatumblr #notprojustusehashtags

[ciao-itsurmom]

update on coffee: so to wean myself off of creamer I’m just going to gradually put less ml of creamer in until i (hopefully) get used to blacker coffee :)

#edtumblr #edmemes #anatumblr #thinspo

[ciao-itsurmom]

one of the worst things about eds is the constant inner conflict between the rational and the irrational part of your mind.

i want people to notice that i'm unwell, but at the same time i don't want people to bother me. i want to be free, but at the same time i don't want to let my ed go. i feel like i need to be hospitalized to prove that my ed is serious, but at the same time i don't want to end up in hospital. i want to reach my ugw, but i know that if i do reach it, i'll be forced to gain all the weight back so there's no point in doing so.

living with an eating disorder means living with a constant war in your mind, this shit is exhausting as fuck.

[ciao-itsurmom]

Losing weight youve already lost before hurts like a bitch

[ciao-itsurmom]

how do y’all drink coffee without creamer? i’ve been drinking with creamer for years even at my lw and wish I could cut the cals out :(((

#thinspo #edtumblr #ed

[ciao-itsurmom]

anyone else go through periods of like... normalness and then suddenly things get dramatically worse for a few weeks and then go back to normal-ish? it makes me feel rlly invalidated and like im faking this whole thing smh

[ciao-itsurmom]

me: *fasts for days*

*excessively works out*

*gets dizzy/lightheaded*

*is exhausted in the middle of the day*

*cries when food is offered*

everyone I know : doing great girly😊💖💕✨keep it up🤪 🤪

me:

[ciao-itsurmom]

[ciao-itsurmom]

Something I made while dealing with my own stuff and hoping drawing this would pick me up somehow. Maybe it worked.

FT my cat. His name is Mischief

[ciao-itsurmom]

i’ve come to realize that you can display every single symptom of an eating disorder and if you aren’t skinny it won’t matter

[ciao-itsurmom]

homecoming is coming up in three weeks you know what that means lmao

#thinspo #edmemes #ed tingz

[ciao-itsurmom]

I love when my boyfriend showers at my house cause I get to lean against the door and hear him quietly scream

[ciao-itsurmom]

It's not a hatred of my own body, nor is it disgust with what has become of me; physically. Some days I yearn to be muscled over, strong, so no one can hurt me ever again and so I can do amazing athletic feats. No, it isn't a particular disgust with my body. It's the accomplishment, productivity, control. I've barely dipped my toes back into this illness and already I've been more productive in a week than what I've been in months. This mindset encourages grit, no excuses, strength. On the days I indulge in the image of it, I let go of the want for physical strength and idealize skin and bones. How awful am I, to romantacize what kills people everyday? I'm awful, but I'm self sufficient, I'm capable again. Almost giddy. I'll be cruel and disgusting if it means I get to be this way again.

8/4/2021

[ciao-itsurmom]

“i don’t care,” i say, caringly, as i care deeply

[ciao-itsurmom]

My Favourite Channels

01. Baggyjeans 3

- low cal recipe videos, restriction vlogs

02. ILikePotatoes

- binge vlogs

03. ella sephy

- restriction/diet vlogs, a few funny ed related videos

04. crybaby eats

weight loss journey, binge vlogs, recovery journey

05. peachy tin

- aesthetic vlogs, binge vlogs

06. l0velys0da

- restriction vlogs

07. luneats

- restriction vlogs, low cal recipes

08. MelissaBug

- binge vlogs, weight loss journey

09. provalonely

- restriction vlogs, binge vlogs

10. 하리야 hariya

- diet vlogs, weight loss tips

11. Suzie Ann

- weight loss journey, diet tips, weight loss tips, low cal recipes

12. little snowflake

- restriction vlogs

13. ophelia laus

- binge vlogs, recovery journey

14. 담지의기록 Damji

weight loss journey, healthy recipes, workout vlogs