clausmotherthree

[clausmotherthree]

Team Fortress 2 Mercenary Ages - given all of the canon information we know!

Scout - 27

In the TF2 Comic “The Naked and the Dead,” Spy (Scout’s biological father) states that Scout was conceived 27 years ago, making Scout 27. This is the only 100% confirmed age.

Soldier - mid 40s to early 50s

It’s stated in Soldier’s description that he attempted to join the army during WWII. If we assume Soldier was a young adult when he attempted to enlist, he would now be in his mid 40s to early 50s during the events of TF2.

Pyro - unknown

There is very little information out there on Pyro. It would be impossible for me to accurately identify their age.

Demoman - mid 30s

The only information I have in regards to demoman’s age comes from a line his mother says in the book “Valve Presents Volume 1: The Sacrifice and Other Steam-Powered Stories” in which Demo’s mother remarks: “No demoman worth his Sulfur ever had an eye in his head past thirty!” Which means Demo is most likely somewhere in his 30s.

Heavy - mid 40s to early 50s

In the update comic “Meet the Director,” it is revealed that Heavy was sent to a North Siberian Gulag in September 1941 alongside his mother and sisters. Heavy also canonically has a PhD in Russian literature, as revealed through his dialogue in the game ‘Poker Night at the Inventory.’ It would take around 9 years to obtain that PhD, meaning- depending on if he obtained the degree before or after 1941, he would be either in his mid 40s or early 50s.

Engineer - early to mid 30s

Engineer designed and built the Sentry under contract from TF industries in 1965, with him also spending 10 years in the West Texas oil fields- assuming Engineer was 18 before this date, he would be in his early to mid 30s during the events of TF2.

Medic - late 30s to early 40s

Medic’s description explicitly states that he was “Raised in Stuttgart, Germany during an era when the Hippocratic oath had been downgraded to an optional Hippocratic suggestion,” This implies that Medic was brought up during, or just before, WWII. The word ‘raised’ heavily implies the Medic to still be in adolescence during this era, making him surprisingly younger than expected, with him being around his late 30s to very early 40s during Team Fortress 2.

Sniper - early 30s

In the Team Fortress 2 comic ‘Blood in the Water’, Miss Pauling directly states that New Zealand sunk 40 years ago- in the same comic, Sniper is shown as a baby in a flashback, 10 years after New Zealand sunk. This makes Sniper out to be 30 or 31 in the TF2 present.

Spy - unknown, estimated early-mid 50s

Given Spy’s secretive nature, it’s difficult to deduct how old he is. However, since he has a 27 year old son, it’s likely that he is in his mid 50s. There is a single comic panel (Found in ‘Unhappy Returns’) depicting Spy’s hair to have a grey tint to it, further emphasising this fact.

#feel free to let me know of any mistakes ive made/anything ive missed #there’s a lot of debate about the merc’s ages #especially given all the retconns and contradictory evidence within tf2 #so i tried my hardest to stick solely to 100% canon tf2 material instead of common headcanon and popular fanmade materal #i didnt include any community info (i.e the track terroriser) as im trying to only reference completely canon material #ok Cool hope u all enjoy #tf2 #team fortress 2 #team fortress two #medic tf2 #scout tf2 #sniper tf2 #pyro tf2 #demoman tf2 #heavy tf2 #spy tf2 #engineer tf2 #soldier tf2

[clausmotherthree]

We gonna ignore Archimedes perched on Sasha?

[clausmotherthree]

#wallace pizza….

[clausmotherthree]

MOBILLACE NATION WE WOOOOON

#im so happy he finally has a voice… oh mein gott mobiles in the show #spto #scott pilgrim takes off #wallace wells #mobile #mobillace #Scott pilgrim

[clausmotherthree]

very normal about scott pilgrim takes off

#it was so good #follow me on tha gram #scott pilgrim

[clausmotherthree]

ouuurgggggg cube that ate a lemon

[clausmotherthree]

I feel like a deer that’s been hit by a car and left to die almost everyday of my life btw

[clausmotherthree]

#adventure time #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #video

[clausmotherthree]

#ice king

[clausmotherthree]

so i've been on this site for a hot minute and i've always operated on the idea that if you're here long enough you'll end up with at least one popular text post but uh, maybe that's not true? so, i wanna know

#that one fucking drawing

[clausmotherthree]

how everyone looked at simon when he was being a nerd about the ship of theseus

[clausmotherthree]

[clausmotherthree]

not my whoville ass eating roast beast

[clausmotherthree]

Simon Petrikov is the character ever because he manages to exist on all sides of the tumblr sexyman spectrum

[clausmotherthree]

You guys are Jeff the killing me

[clausmotherthree]

*sweating, whole body shaking while I stare at a google doc* would he fucking say that????

#ME EXPERIUENCE

[clausmotherthree]

redraw