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i am going to start a collection

if you have any other posts of this kind please send them to me

update: this one thanks to @iputmcytsintohydraulicpress (great url, by the way)

this one courtesy of @catamaurrr-star

#so true king

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everyone on r/aita is doing polyamory so wrong and i think they could learn something from tommyinnit. I'm not going to say hes doing it any better but he is being really funny about it

#i'm not even gonna lie. #this... this might be what gets me back into mcyt #oh god #i mean i've kept watching ranboo for a while but like --

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idk if im actually bi or nit but i have an 8 am class tomorrow cant worry about that

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This is more punk than the whole of punk history.

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This pandemic is really proving that government has the means to solve all problems they just choose not to

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the problem with having an evil mastermind manipulator oc is that i am not particularly good at being any of those things

#my “lifehack” for writing characters smarter that me is just working backwards #basically: instead of creating a problem and figuring out how to solve it #you begin with the solution and then create the problems around it

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regional differences

“oh hey,” she said, “it’s a really touristy area, but since you’re gonna be passing through anyway, you might as well stop by pier 29, see the dragons. also, there’s a—”

“hold on,” i said. “i knew your city had mountains, but. dragons? uh, actual living dragons?”

“dude, it’s not a big deal. they’re there all the time. of course they’re majestic and everything, but they’re loud and cranky and mostly they lie around eating garbage. now and then the city council will talk about trying to make them roost somewhere else, but—”

“dragons,” i repeated. i knew it was making me sound like a rube, but it was a lot to take in. “you live in a city that has dragons.”

“no, it’s cool, we used to go see them when i was a little kid. it’s worth doing. but that whole area is mostly dragon-themed gift shops, and the commercialization is kind of a bummer. also, sometimes a dragon will melt somebody’s car and it’s a whole problem.”

“fairytale-style, giant scaly fire-breathing dragons.”

“honestly, i forget other cities don’t have them?” she said. “there’s a few other sites on the west coast where they gather. portland calls them wyverns, but that’s a portland thing.”

“chicago’s got, like, bunnies and songbirds,” i told her, “but otherwise it’s just your typical vermin. pigeons, rats, sphinxes—”

“sphinxes? what the hell.”

“oh, yeah, they nest in the el tunnels. sometimes a fucking sphinx will flap down out of nowhere, bring the whole train to a halt until the front car answers a riddle.”

“that sounds exciting,” she said.

“it’s the worst. your train winds up being twenty minutes late, and you just have to hang out hoping somebody up there read their mythology. there’s supposed to be a program where the conductors get trained in riddling, but i don’t know. rahm emmanuel keeps saying it’s not a budget priority.”

“huh,” she said. “guess the grass is always greener and all that. but on some level, it’s nice to remember that even with all these big box stores, the country still has some variety left in it.”

“yeah, did you know that in rhode island they call water fountains ‘bubblers’?” i said.

“whoa, seriously?”

“i read it somewhere. crazy, right?”

“crazy.”

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this guy's beef got old enough to have geology

#i enjoy the banana references #“bananas unlucky for fishing” absolutely fair i think i should try this hack

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Absolutely captivated by this very specific type of image

#same vibes as sufjan stevens' song-naming convention but only slightly less homosexual

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#rocks

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i believe in the inherent goodness of people

#obsessed with the first gif.................. #idk why

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i think we can all agree it's a bit of a missed opportunity electronics don't have a "milk socket" you could plug some sort of milk battery into, which would slowly disperse milk into the body of the machine, possibly ruining it.

#it's posts like this that make me return here #where the fuck else would you get a sentence like this?? #pure unadulterated madness

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What if we had a plagiarism scandal here on tumblr, kinda annoyed at the youtubies having all the fun

#lmao

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What if we had a plagiarism scandal here on tumblr, kinda annoyed at the youtubies having all the fun

#hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #hbomb #as an avid hbomberguy fan i can attest to the fact that i watched that shit seventeen minutes after it came out #truly internet history

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Meeeee