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dculater · 2 months
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funniest 'Jason Todd comes back as red hood and starts talking to the bats without telling that he is, in fact, Jason Todd' trope is where Red Hood starts becoming minorly friendly with the bats and lets slip that Jason Todd is indeed still alive, but not that he is him.
now this can result in multiple outcomes, however i think the funniest possible version is the version where while Dick is bemoaning about the loss of his little brother and how great Jason is and how he wants to talk to him again, and without a second of hesitation Red Hood just nods his head and goes 'oh yeah, hottest robin by far, too. sexy as shit, that guy is.'
this results in the entire bat family fully believing that Jason Todd was somehow revived and taken to the LOA where he met and fell in love with this murderous assassin known as Red Hood, and the two are currently in a relationship.
Jason, petty and pissed at his family, decides: holy shit that's funny. and he goes along with it, meaning there are multiple occasions where we get interactions such as
Batman, brooding on a rooftop: the second Robin... he has always had such a big heart.
Red Hood, cartwheeling in the background: big dick too, godDAMN
Batman: i am begging you to stop.
---
Nightwing: you're DATING my little brother? AND YOU WONT LET US TALK TO HIM?
Red Hood, full of shit: he's too busy visiting venues for our wedding next autumn. and before you ask, no, you're not invited.
Nightwing:
Batman: you mean to tell me, you're marrying my son, and you won't allow us to be at the wedding?
Red Hood: Jason's decision.
Batman:
Red Hood: Green Arrow's walking him down the isle
Batman: ok thats it-
---
Red Robin: so is your fiance happy about all this crime lord murder stuff?!
Red Hood: my future trophy husband understands that if he's going to be able to sit and look pretty for me, then I need to bring home some serious cash, now stop interrupting my work.
Red Robin:
Red Hood:
Red Hood: for real tho, Jason's so hot-
Red Robin: STOP IT
bonus scene:
Dick: Damian, did you know about this?
Damian, hasn't been paying attention: know about what?
Dick: Jason's engaged to Red Hood!
Damian:
Damian, knows full well Jason is full of shit because he grew up with the guy in the league:
Damian: hes what now
Jason in the background: *violently gesturing death threats*
Damian:
Damian: yes. i'll be travelling home in the fall to be the flower boy. I believe Todd has already picked out my suit.
Dick:
that christmas, Bruce Wayne receives a card with an obviously photoshopped Red Hood that's got his arm around Jason's shoulders, who also has a photoshopped wedding dress on. Damian is stood in front of them, a 'just married' banner in his hands, looking very much like he was paid to be there.
Dick never forgives Jason for making him think that Alfred was invited to the wedding and he wasn't.
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dculater · 5 months
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based on this
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dculater · 6 months
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Yes. Yes I do need that today.
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Perhaps the power went out for a little while at the Manor…
Perhaps it’s snowing real bad and they got stuck there for a while…
Perhaps Alfred’s making hot coco…
Who’s to say…
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dculater · 6 months
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- Dan Mora, NYCC 2023
Source
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dculater · 1 year
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Jason nO-
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dculater · 1 year
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Damian: Why do you need another?!
Bruce, adopting Duke: He needs a home.
~ two weeks later ~
Bruce: Why do you need another?
Damian, holding a chicken: She needs a home!
Jason: Do they realize-
Tim: No, they don’t.
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dculater · 1 year
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rip the bat boys 💀
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dculater · 2 years
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The thought that Brucie Wayne and Batman being two completely separate entities that Bruce can code switch between has consumed me especially with the idea that he mixes the two together on occasion to fuck with people
~~~~~~~~~
*Batman and Superman searching a dressing room*
Superman: What about this thing, it looks suspicious?
Batman *full Batman voice*: That’s an eyelash curler darling
~~~~~~~~
*OG JLA revealing identities to newbies*
Green Arrow: Your turn Bats, who are you?
Batman having decided to fuck with him walking up to him cocking his hip putting one hand on his chest and in full Brucie Wayne mode: C’mon Ollie-Dollie you know who I am. We dated 💕
Green Arrow (internally): Modem noise
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently revealed identities with Clark and Brucie being at the same party
Brucie: oh howdy 🤠 cowboy, fancy meeting you at this shindig
Clark *flustered* (internally): he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman…
~~~~~~~~~
*Bruce getting a call during a JLA meeting*
Brucie: Oh! hello dear, yes of course I’m coming to your party I’ll see you later 😘
Batman: Our security measures need to be increased due to the number of criminals currently attempting to follow heroes to their base of operations
JLA *experiencing whiplash*: what.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*undercover Brucie and members of the JLA at a party*
Bruce *pretending to be drunk wandering over to the flash*: excuse moi but can I get your attention for just a momento😊
Flash *completely disconnecting Bruce and bats*: yeah uh sure sir are you alright
Batman *quiet but deep Batman voice*: there’s an assassin in the rafters
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dculater · 2 years
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dculater · 2 years
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DOODLES FROM DISCORD Alright, the people have spoken, Tim gets to have a hug too
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dculater · 2 years
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dculater · 2 years
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dculater · 2 years
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Jason: What’s the fifth amendment?
Tim: Due process
Jason: Not bad. Dick, what’s the eighth letter of the alphabet?
Dick: G?
Jason: No.
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dculater · 2 years
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Tim: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Jason: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Dick: Smad.
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dculater · 2 years
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Tim: So are we flirting right now?
Jason: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU
Tim: That doesn’t answer my question
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dculater · 2 years
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Dick: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...
Steph: You would eat yourself?
Dick: I wouldn’t even question it.
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dculater · 2 years
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Dick: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Jason: Stop romanticizing the past.
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