destler

[destler]

the managers' plotline: we need a safety pin to solve the mystery of how the opera ghost keeps stealing our money!

christine's plotline:

[destler]

okay gonna be cringe for a moment and confess that the urge to make a joker account is so tempting rn because i've been watching that FUCKING TRAILER FOR 4 DAYS STRAIGHT

#god my DC heart #IT IS SO #SO BIG RN #god that trailer is so #amazing #it makes me wanna cry #the first time i watched it i was smiling all day #THEY PUT SOOO MUCH COCAINE IN THAT TRAILER #AND I SNORTED ALL OF IT

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user @destler logging in once every full moon

#hi girlies

[destler]

I WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING WHERE ERIK FUCKING DIES

#DO NOT ASK #I WANNA CRY OKAY #I WANNA TRY WITH WRITING I WANNA DO TENSE AND DIFFICULT #I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NOT BEEN CHALLENGING MYSELF RECENTLY

[destler]

@swede

"I don't know if I can forgive you."

The unfortunate way of not being taught love is that you must learn how to express love by yourself.

Erik's form of love was based on cruelty and revenge. 

The attachment that the woman felt towards Raoul de Chagny was, in his mind, the truest form of betrayal. It was not the removal of his mask, the act that made the woman flee so quickly, that caused him such great amounts of pain. It was how just moments after she found herself with the sweet boy from her childhood, the one who wasn't cursed with his countenance. 

"My devotion for you, Christine Daaé, is eternal! My love, as cursed and horrid as you may find it to be, does not fall ill into the simple conundrum of morality!"

The composer insists, his long, bony hands reaching out for her. 

"Not even God himself could take me away from his most precious creation! I hold no limits because of you, my dear, I shall do everything for you. Do not forgive me, but instead embrace my acts of love!"

#swede #♖writing/the final threshold

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charlie be active challenge

#OKAY SO LISTEN #when i had covid i literally got so much shit late #not only from work but also from uni #so we are #DOING OUR BEST AND WE ARE CONGRATULATING CHARLIE FOR THEIR EFFORTS #i am doing my best

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@hiraethpariah

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I'm scared of losing you."

The Opera Populaire has long gone silent as each person settles into the realm of dreams. Yet he, ever the nocturnal creature, did not settle on these pleasantries, but on others. The warm presence of wine settles in his stomach, making him docile at the hands of the beast. They both reside in the space under the Opera, sharing the small sofa they had snuck into their space. 

Night had been filled with drunk laughs and soft words, occasionally broken by a reassuring silence. 

Now, with a wine glass in hand, Erik sits up at the words of his companion, ones that had never been directed to him. 

They're simple, they're young and delicate, yet they carry such a great weight to them. Both fear and love are such complicated matters, two emotions which are deeply engraved in ones brain. 

"We fear that when we finally have something good we will lose it," he says gently, placing their hand onto the creature's cheek, "The fear of happiness, the fear of love. If I am to leave you one day, for whatever reason, all I ask is for you not to cry for far too long. Yet for now, I am by your side and am content as such."

#hiraethparia #♖writing/the final threshold #think i'm getting back into the rhythm #also is this kind of sad #yes #so #sorry beasty #ily tho

[destler]

not now kitten daddy is terrorizing the paris opera house

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computer!! how to deal with imposter syndrome without actually working through it? quickest route, no therapy

[destler]

there is a form of universal pain about life. there's the knowledge that life is short, but at the same time, extremely long. it's easy to take advantage of it, and to ruin it at the same time. we are all predisposed to something, whether it be wealth, happiness, difficulty, or any form of abstinence.

erik was born with harsh limits, ones that would never be able to make him enjoy life as the "normal" person would be able to. there's no fight for it, it's superficial, it's not something that he can work through, it's built-in and it's inherited by something unknown. the absence of beauty and love, the knowledge that affection is just an extension of cruelty.

so with all of this pain and difficulty, there's guilt. the guilt that you hate the most precious thing someone can hold, the guilt that you even have life. that's what erik has, that's all he knows.

#i've been feeling #weird aksjhcaiuyef #if you can't tell #having a lot of thoughts rn

[destler]

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀— raoul, chapter xii, apollo's lyre.

miscellaneous edits. non-roleplay blogs, please dni. mutuals with a tag may reblog.

#thank you mademoiselle #<3333

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i just watched fleabag do NOT hit me up rn

#it will pass... #i love you... #how DARE YOU #do this to me #i have to start watching more series it's what keeps me inspired #AND ALSO RIGHT AFTER I STARTED READING DEVILS???? #crazy #wow i really set myself up here huh

[destler]

update on this!! i'm having trouble finding high quality pictures of him, there are only a few from what i've found :(

okay i'm probably switching my face claim to john martin guys cause like smash

also his voice is fucking INSANE I LOVE HIM

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dude i think it's fucking insane you americans don't eat goiaba as much as we do. CRAZY ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.

#goiaba is guava btw #i just need to eat it rn #ordered some and now i'm gonna be so happy

[destler]

🐝  *  ―  𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  why did you have to leave me?  ❜ ❛  how could you do this to me?  ❜ ❛  i trusted you!  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry, but i can't do this anymore.  ❜ ❛  do you even care how much you hurt me?  ❜ ❛  i'll never stop fighting for us, no matter what.  ❜ ❛  i don't know if i can forgive you.  ❜ ❛  i never thought i'd feel so alone, even when you're right here.  ❜ ❛  please don't go, i can't handle losing you too.  ❜ ❛  you were the one person i thought i could always count on. why did you have to let me down?  ❜ ❛  did you ever even care about us? about me?  ❜ ❛  i wish i could hate you for what you've done, but i can't.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to play games with my feelings?  ❜ ❛  i never thought saying goodbye would hurt this much.  ❜ ❛  every time i close my eyes, all i see is the pain you've caused.  ❜ ❛  why do you insist on tearing us apart when we could be so happy together?  ❜ ❛  i'm tired of pretending everything's okay when it's clearly not.  ❜ ❛  i don't even know who you are anymore.  ❜ ❛  i need you to understand how much you mean to me.  ❜ ❛  i'm scared of losing you, but i'm even more scared of losing myself.  ❜ ❛  why won't you let me in? what are you so afraid of?  ❜ ❛  you were my world, and now everything is falling apart.  ❜ ❛  how am i supposed to trust anyone after what you've done?  ❜ ❛  i can't go through this heartache again.  ❜ ❛  why did you leave without saying goodbye?  ❜ ❛  how could you say something like that to me?  ❜ ❛  you've always had a way of making me feel worthless.  ❜ ❛  don't you dare walk away from me when i'm talking to you.  ❜ ❛  please, just tell me the truth, even if it hurts. i can handle it.  ❜ ❛  i don't know how to fix what's broken between us anymore.  ❜ ❛  you're not the person i fell in love with anymore.  ❜ ❛  just hold me and tell me everything will be okay, even if it's a lie.  ❜ ❛  i trusted you, and you betrayed me.  ❜ ❛  i never meant to hurt you, it was never my intention.  ❜ ❛  i've given you everything, and it's still not enough.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to make everything about you?  ❜ ❛  why did you do it? why did you betray me like that?  ❜ ❛  i miss you ... more than words can say.  ❜ ❛  you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'm scared of losing you.  ❜ ❛  i'll always be here for you, no matter what. just please don't shut me out.  ❜

[destler]

okay i'm probably switching my face claim to john martin guys cause like smash

also his voice is fucking INSANE I LOVE HIM

#music of the night...

[destler]

Anytime I see people who say 'Erik should have gotten Chirstine!' I always let out such a loud sigh because they are completely missing the point of the book.

The tradgedy is not, and never has been, the fact that The Phantom didn't get Christine, it's the fact that he never got to be human.

Erik, as a character, is so insanely full of love and yearning and that is exactly what leads people to sympathise with him; to lead them to the point of 'if he got the girl everything would be fine'. He's poetic with his suffering and expresses his truama in a obsessive and borderline psychopathic way in order to deal with it and get what he wants. To have what he never had; real affection. To be kissed without his masked chucked at his face.

To be looked at with fondness instead of fear.

Leroux's whole point with the character of The Phantom isn't that he's another man who deserved the girl, his point was how real life literature Others are treated. Erik is both The Hunchback of Notre Dame's Quasimodo and Jane Eyre's Bertha Mason. Both, of which, despite the fact they don't conform to societal standards, still deserve to be treated as humans.

Erik deserves to be treated like a human despite his deformity, despite his otherness that has literally forced him into the basement of an Opera House he helped build; to be loved like any human wants love. Everybody in that book demonises him for such a human feeling and that is the point. That is the metaphorical kick to the chest.

Further, rounding back around to the 'if he got the girl everything would be fine'. If Erik got Christine, he wouldn't learn that the fact he murdered multiple people to get there, that he threatened to blow up half of Paris, that he tricked a young girl into believing he was her dead father, was wrong. If he got what he wanted, with no consequences, then it wouldn't teach Erik anything, because he would never learn what real affection would be like.

That's why, at the end of the book, where Christine shows him genuine love, willingly, he absolutely crumbles because he realises that is what it means to be human. To feel human; pure love given of someone's own accord.

To love is to be changed, as the poets' say, and that's exactly what it does to him.