dhampyre
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This is my more personal blog where I don't reblog as much...
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Lol. I'm reading my own blog and can see that I seem like a mean and angry woman. But I'm not. I just use this blog to rant. I'm actually excited about graduating. My board exam is on Saturday. Hope I pass!
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I just wish Indian men would stop swiping right on me. I don't think most of them are serious. Especially if they're Hindu/religious. I already know it's probably going to be an issue. Some of them actually seem like good matches, but I'm not setting myself up to be hurt again.
I follow the Blindian Project and stumbled on this beautiful couple, Rajen and Afiya. 😍 They're flipping beautiful!
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Race doesn't matter. Culture doesn't matter. Having shared values is what matters! They love each other and race/culture didn't stop them from finding happiness together. I hope whoever in their lives doesn't support their relationship will either learn to accept it or just leave them alone. I am so sick of racism and discrimination. Love is love. I want to be in a beautiful and loving relationship. But I've lost hope.
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Another Indian guy swiped right on me. I decided I'm not going to date another Indian man. Most of them still have regressive mindsets and are very anti-black, even if they grew up abroad! I'm just not setting myself up to be hurt again. I think a lot of Indian men actually do like black women, but they're just too brainwashed by their culture and most are too cowardly to stand up for those women when their families start acting up. Can't do it.
I just saw a video suggested to me on YouTube entitled India: A Country that Doesn't Like Women. They have a real problem within their own culture alone with how they treat women. So why would they treat women of other races and cultures any differently?
It's sad because I would not have any hesitancy dating an Indian guy if I didn't have such a shitty experience the one time that I did. People assume that if they grow up abroad, that they'll be more "modern" or more open minded. But it's not so. I've read so many stories of these men dating women for years and then dumping them to go have an arranged marriage. Even if you're an Indian woman, you're not safe, as they do the same damn thing to their own women!🤦🏽♀️ I'm also reminded of the horror story of Sparkle Rai. These people truly don't like black people. Some of them get crazy about it. They hate us and it's sad. They love to copy black culture from the music and style to the manner of speaking (AAVE), but they still look down on us. I'm so over it.
This guy looks fine, but I am not willing to set myself up to be hurt again. So I have to swipe left.
It's suspicious that Facebook Dating is actually showing me people who liked me now--like multiple people every day. It wasn't doing that before. I think it is now because I actually swiped right on a couple of people and actually messaged them, which I usually don't do. I think they purposely don't show you people who swiped right on you unless you swipe right on more people and message them. I really think most dating sites do the same thing.😏
Anyway, I've given up on men and I have no expectations. I'm doing my hobbies and taking care of me. One of my friends posted this and I love it because it resonates with me and my philosophy!
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This!
For men who dislike women posting how bad other men are online...an EXCELLENT REPLY!
I saw this posted by OkCupidSexcapades and just had to re-post it. I have had men confront me about posting emails, although they have no names, from men that have been assholes and rude to me as well as worse. I have unsolicited hate emails about my profile online. I have had men approach me as if I was nothing more than a gutter snipe or a slut here to service them. I have had men go from saying I am so pretty and they want a date to calling me every vile thing they can think of when I reply back that I am not interested. When I am told that posting these makes ‘all men’ look bad and women start hating ‘all men’, I reply that it doesn’t. I am trying to show them what women go through online. They may not be that kind of guy, but there are tons of these kinds of men out there and we have to face them every time we wake up it seems. Well, this post and reply are one of the BEST replies I have ever seen, so I am sharing it now.
Anonymous asked:
I’m a guy who’s earnestly looking for someone on Okcupid. Blogs like this make me so angry because I’m not like these men and your blog turns girls off of online dating so they never even give me a chance
OkCupidSexcapades answered:
I honestly do understand your frustration, but it is misplaced. The problem isn’t with women who are vocal about their bad experiences with men; it is with men who treat women badly. If lots of people had a bad experience with a restaurant and posted it about it on Yelp, you wouldn't blame the customers for sharing their experience, you would expect the restaurant to improve.
It’s the same idea here: Women don’t have a responsibility to keep it to themselves when men treat them badly, men as a whole have a responsibility to improve. If you actually aren't like these men, then you should be encouraging the men you know to treat women better or, at the very least, you should be reading through these blogs so you can better understand what it’s like to be a woman in the dating world, but you definitely should not be blaming women.
Gentlemen, no one 'owes’ you sex online or offline. If it was YOUR daughter/sister you wouldn’t like men approaching them with their penis hanging out and saying “give me a bj’ or “wanna f*ck” I am sure you would KILL that guy. Many men joke that they wish they were women and they would be down at the docks every day looking for sex. In reality you would not because you wouldn’t like being treated like nothing more than a piece of shit. When women like sex we are called whores not studs. Even when we are not looking for sex, maybe we just want a friend, it seems so many men just have one thing in the back of their mind, how can I get her in bed? IT GETS TIRESOME AND LAME to be seen as nothing more than a hole to be used. If YOU were seen as nothing more than a wallet and no one wanted to talk to you or do anything with you other than take your money you would be pissed off SO quickly and you would speak out about it.
Before you condemn women you think are giving you a difficult time trying to find a partner by posting these types of blogs keep in mind that it isn’t us with the problem. Re-read that post and think of that restaurant that you would be grateful someone told you it had bad food and you don’t want to go there. Realize that you as men CAN help by making the asshole men learn to behave in a more respectable way rather than telling women to shut up and take it. You wouldn’t tell your daughters or sisters to just take it, so why do that to us? Try to understand what it is like to have this crap in our lives every day online and offline and realize it isn’t so fun.
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I've been on dating apps for years and had not much success. The quality of men on these sites is terrible. But I guess I've put so much effort into my profile that I was invited to The League, which is apparently an elite dating service for professionals looking for like-minded professionals. I was logging into okcupid and it came up. I thought it was fake at first, but it's actually legit. You have to either pay for membership or wait to be approved. I refuse to pay for online dating. Lol. So I'm just going to wait. I don't have any hope because it's extremely rare that I ever meet anyone I'm attracted to--let alone anyone I'm attracted to who is ACTUALLY a good person. I've essentially given up on finding love because my experiences have been so fucking horrible. And I'm ok with it because I see how men act and how they treat their girlfriends and wives. Women are happier and healthier when single and child-free anyway. And that's probably how I'm going to be my whole life. Men have done nothing but hurt me and let me all the way down and I don't want any more pain in my life. At any rate, I'm bored sometimes and want to go on dates just for fun sometimes. I don't think this app will lead anywhere but I like the premise of it...
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It cracks me up that Indian men stay trying to hit on me! I'm sorry but no. Been there, done that. Most Indian men are slaves to their moms. I'm not dealing with that again. Asian people hate black people and I'm so over it.
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I got a message yesterday from someone I swiped right on a while ago. He seems really nice. He’s handsome and vegan. He doesn’t live near me. We have both been on the site for years. I just think it’s hard for everyone. And it doesn’t even matter how attractive you are or how good of a person you are or how much you have going for yourself or how much you have to offer. None of that makes it easier. There are just not enough good options out there. Quality men are damn near impossible to find. Whenever I go on these apps and start swiping, I see again how shitty the options are. I feel disappointed, but it also reminds me that there are just hardly any good options and I’d rather be single than settle.
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I'm watching YouTube videos about decentering men. I used to wish I had a boyfriend or husband. They always disappoint me. So I stopped caring about that. I'm actually finding myself not really wanting to even date anymore. I am excited about my future. I'm excited about my career, getting my dream home, and doing my hobbies. I don't see a man in my future and I'm actually ok with it. We don't need men to be happy. And most of them are revealing themselves to be horrible people. I'm tired of men's misogyny. Most of them are rude, nasty, and do not respect women. They're getting left behind. And I don't feel sorry for them. Just live your best life and do things to make yourself happy. Any man worth entertaining will only make your life better. If a man doesn't bring you peace and add value to your life, do not deal with him! I love seeing women just enjoying their lives without worrying about men. We can be happy and thrive without the attention of men. Nothing but goddess energy!😄💃🏾✨️
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I dreamt about one of my co-residents last night. He's nice and attractive. But he has a girlfriend and I don't want to date anyone I work with anyway. He's friendly so I'm not going to assume he's interested in me. But when he started, he shook my hand (which I didn't think was necessary at the time because we had already met). He hugged me when we had a resident outing recently. He always greets me. I wish I could find someone who is attractive, intelligent, and a good person. Men usually let me down. And most are rude, nasty, and don't respect women. I know I'm better off single. But I am often lonely. I wish for romantic love. But I'm not going to hold my breath.
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I got very angry waiting to pick up my order at Staples. It should've been a quick in and out pick up, but they didn't have enough staff and the people who were there had no idea what they were doing. That aggravated me. And the fact that so many men end up sucking always aggravates me. 😒 But whatever. I'm on the treadmill at the gym. Then I'm going to go home, undo my braids, wash my hair, cook, finish laundry, and review these new wigs I got...
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This guy seems cool. He's educated, not bad looking, and wants an actual real relationship and emotional bond. That's what I wish for. But I'm really hesitant because of what happened with Shawn. Not all Indian guys are mama's boys. Not all Indian people are racist. But the last thing I need is a repeat of Shawn. Damn it! 😔 Should I just delete the message? Should I bother trying to talk to him?
I decided to respond to the message. I'm just going to keep it very casual. And after a few messages, I will ask him: Are you religious? Is your family religious? How often do you talk to your mom? Does your family want you to marry an Indian woman?
It's usually Hindu people who seem to be the most closed minded. And families who call themselves "conservative" are really just colorist, racist, classist, and xenophobic. If the answers to any of those questions is "yes," or if he constantly talks to his mom, then I'll unmatch. Let's see what happens...🤷🏽♀️
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My friend Troy got engaged! I saw it on Facebook just now. I’m happy for him. I just feel sad that I can’t find anyone. Men always let me down. So I don’t really believe it will ever happen for me. The only guys that are interested are guys I don’t like. Most of the time I know I’m probably better off. But I still feel lonely. I wish I didn’t care. I wish I could just be fully content the way I am. Most men are really not that great. So that’s part of the reason I am alone. I’d rather be alone than with someone I’m not genuinely into. It seems like it’s easy to find amazing women. It’s not easy to find an amazing man. Men just keep showing themselves to be horrible people. They keep proving that they can't be trusted with women's hearts. I don’t know what’s wrong with them.
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Woooow. I had paid for 1 week of whatever advanced membership you can get on Tinder so I could see who liked me. Guess who swiped right on me? Shawn! Like why does he do that if he doesn't find me attractive? He's a liar. I want to stop seeing him on dating apps. Why doesn't he go away??
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Got a decent message today from a guy who wasn't horrible. But he's just looking for a hook up.
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I should straight up delete Tinder. I don't even use it. And many people on it are just looking for hookups. Lots of gross men on it shamelessly looking for hookups.🤢
Anyway, I decided to pay for 1 week of the upgraded version just so I could see who the hell liked me. I had like 2000 likes. I find the majority of men to be unattractive. Like, I don't find any of the guys who like me attractive. Looks aren't everything, obviously, but if I'm not attracted to a guy's face, it's just not going to work for me. It reminds me that it's really not surprising that I'm single and I'm really not missing out on anything because the majority of men aren't even attractive--let alone good people--in the first place. Being on newborn and OB rotations makes me wish I had a family. I still don't want kids. But I wish for romantic love and a husband. Then again, I don't want a man to mess me up again. It sucks. I wish I didn't care. I'm most likely never going to find anyone. 🤷🏽♀️
The other day, I overheard the female nurses talking about relationships. Most of them seemed to be against getting married because they did it and it sucked! Lol. So women really aren't missing out on anything by being single. Men get inordinately pissed when women don't want them. And they don't want to do anything to make themselves more desirable to women. I've noticed so much fucking misogyny both on and offline recently. Men absolutely hate the power that women have. It's easy to manipulate men with our sexuality. And that's why they overturned Roe v. Wade and are trying to make it harder for women to have access to birth control and abortion. They absolutely hate women having agency over our own lives and bodies. And they hate the fact that we are statistically happier without them. It's amazing to watch. Lol.
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I always seem to attract guys I don’t like. I am not attracted to them and have nothing in common with them. It’s so frustrating. But I’m probably better off by myself. I wish I had a romantic partner. I wish I had someone to cuddle me and kiss me at night.
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I can't reply because he deleted his account. But I know you're right. I don't even know why I'm still on them. Most men online are garbage.
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