dragonagitator

[dragonagitator]

I expect that they talked about all the crazy shit that happened at work that day.

Look at how much all of us have to say to each other about all the crazy shit that happened at their workplace, and it's not even happening to us. They're the ones living it!

besides the fact that the chase/cameron relationship and marriage arc is ridiculous for multiple reasons i'm like girl. what did they even talk about?? they literally have nothing in common except for the fact that they're both blonde and pretty

#chase #robert chase #cameron #allison cameron #house #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md

[dragonagitator]

He’s raised Catholic, he’s a massive whore, he fell in love with a nun, he has mommy and daddy issues, he thinks his boss is god. He wants to fuck god maybe? He’s incredible at bowling, he can hypnotise people, he’s extremely emotional and empathetic, sometimes he literally feels nothing, he killed a dictator, he’s into BDSM, he got paralysed, he claims he’s brooding and mysterious but trauma dumps on EVERYONE at any given moment, he is literally ‘the prodigal son’

He is the moment

#he's my precious baby boy and i'm so proud of him #chase #robert chase #house #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md

[dragonagitator]

these tags killed me:

#he's my precious baby boy and i'm so proud of him #chase #robert chase #house #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md

[dragonagitator]

my proposals for 2024 house md plots

kpop stan slash koreaboo is believed to have deadly cancerous lesions in her lungs before house bursts in at the eleventh hour to declare she's been poisoned by a rare toxic fungus found only in the korean peninsula, which she consumed via contaminated haitai grape candies

a young gamer develops a severe illness which is impossible to diagnose until he confesses to chase that he drank an e-girl's bathwater which he purchased on onlyfans, contracting a bacterial infection

a lamp otherkin gets tungsten poisoning from their collection of antique edison lightbulbs

several college students' lungs are filled with microplastics and the fellows are sent to every vape and weed shop near campus to find out what caused it (high nicotine blue raspberry disposable)

the entire princeton polycule commune comes down with a mysterious illness. foreman insists that the diagnostic team treat them all for std's and send them home. one of the nurses (also a member of the polycule) tells kutner about her landlord cutting corners, leading house to realize that they were all exposed to toxic low-cost paint at a recent orgy

a millionaire's car crash is blamed on his malfunctioning tesla cybertruck but house is not so sure. they discover the man shows signs of lowered brain capacity and, after an mri, the fellows discover lesions on the millionaire's brain and treat him for cancer. he gets worse. house is at his wit's end and cannot figure out what is wrong. after looking at the millionaire's grindset tiktok, house realizes his brain capacity isn't actually affected and he's just an idiot. the lesions are because he has also contracted an infection from onlyfans bathwater.

#OH MY GOD #these are brilliant #i'm fucking dying #house #house md #hatecrimes md #hate crimes md

[dragonagitator]

positive affirmations for the day: i would intrigue doctor house so much with my mystery symptoms and he would insult me in so many different ways

#samesies #house #house md #hatecrimes md #hate crimes md #greg house #gregory house

[dragonagitator]

"House, are you feeling okay? You've hardly touched Wilson's food."

#out-of-context fanfic lines #house #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #greg house #gregory house

[dragonagitator]

So many of the newer House MD fans are shocked by House's casual racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. remarks and microagressions, and all I can think is... did y'all forget that House is literally a Baby Boomer?

I know that you are seeing a 45-year-old man on your screen, but you should not expect Xennial values and behaviors from that man because the show is 20 years old. House was born in 1959. He would be 65 now.

So yeah, next time House shocks you by saying something offensive or making a joke that really didn't age well, just think "okay boomer" and move on. No need to twist yourself up in knots trying to analyze or explain it away -- his generation was just Like That.

#house #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #generation gap #boomers #baby boomers

[dragonagitator]

he’s a critical care doctor. he killed a dictator. he’s house’s successor. his password is PASSWORD.

#he's my precious baby boy and i'm so proud of him #chase #robert chase #house #house md #hatecrimes md #hate crimes md

[dragonagitator]

I thought of another reason why House MD is seeing a huge resurgence in popularity 20 years later: We're just meaner now.

Back in 2004, House MD was a show about "what if the greatest doctor in the world was also the biggest asshole in the world?" The things he said to other people were presented as if they were the most shockingly insensitive things those people had ever heard in their lives.

Whereas in 2024, House MD feels more like a show about "what if Reddit was a person?"

His particular type of meanness is way more mainstream now than it was back then.

That's why I don't feel like I'm pulling a Mary Sue by writing my author self-insert OC as generally unbothered by House's remarks and occasionally even laying him out with her retorts. She's been on the internet since she was 12, so whatever nasty thing House just said, she probably used to read at least half-a-dozen nastier things every day before breakfast.

She'll also come armed with the crowdsourced toolkit of best practices for shutting down Boomer bullshit that Millennials and Zoomers have come up with over the years. And yes, at some point, she will deploy the air horn.

(Wilson, bursting in: "What the hell was that?!" OC: "Operant conditioning with negative stimuli." Wilson: "...what?" OC: "We're learning how to be normal around black people instead of constantly committing microaggressions." House: "I can fire you, you know." OC: "Oh, really? Let's go down to HR right now. Let's go tell them about how you want to fire me for trying to make you stop saying racist things to your direct report. Let's see how that conversation goes for you." House: *glowers* OC: "Also, firing me is not the threat you seem to think it is. I can just go back into accounting and double my salary, whereas you'll never find another department secretary willing to put up with your shit ever again." Wilson: *suppressed cackling* Cameron & Foreman: *shocked* Chase: *wishing he'd brought popcorn* House: *furious but maybe also a little aroused?*)

#house #house md #hatecrimes md #hate crimes md #writing fanfiction

[dragonagitator]

One of the more interesting time-travel-related wrinkles I've been thinking about a lot for my House MD isekai fanfic is about how both House and the author self-insert OC will be 45 years old, but House is a Boomer and my OC is a time-travelling Xennial / geriatric Millennial. (While most demographers would place me in Gen X, culturally I've always been much closer to Millennials -- being raised by a software engineer meant I've always had a home computer, and have been on the internet since I was 12 -- and I'll be writing my OC like that too.)

So there's going to be a weird dynamic where they'll have all the usual Boomer/Millennial generation gap issues despite being the exact same age. That's going to be a lot of fun to write (my OC will be introducing the phrase "okay boomer" to the team's toolkit for dealing with House's microaggressions), especially when the slow burn starts heating up.

Boomers were the last generation to be raised with the norms "you HAVE to get married" and "it's normal to hate your spouse" and thus they tend have a lot of really awful beliefs about love, romantic relationships, marriage, etc. that younger generations find super weird and sad. You can track this generational attitude change pretty closely in comedy and television. "I hate my wife" jokes used to be a staple for stand-up comedians, but you almost never hear them anymore because modern audiences don't find them relatable or funny. The "spouses who hate each other" trope used to be incredibly common in sitcoms, but now you usually only see it in dramas where everyone is awful anyway. Even cop shows and other murder mysteries are having fewer and fewer "the spouse did it" culprits.

House's cynicism about love and marriage is pretty typical for his generation. For a guy who prides himself on rejecting social programming, he actually absorbed almost all the standard Boomer norms about marriage except the very last one -- he believes, like most Boomers, that marriage is awful, it is normal to hate your spouse, etc., and his only deviation from the norm is deciding "well then I just won't get married."

My OC pointing out that it's possible to simply... marry someone you actually like... might be the first time he really hears and absorbs something like that coming from someone whom he can't just write off as young, naive, inexperienced, etc. I'm happily married IRL and my OC will have been happily married back in her own timeline, too. (One of the reasons the slow burn will be so slow is that she'll be grieving her husband for a while.) So she actually objectively knows more about it than he does and will not hesitate to rub that in his face.

It won't be enough to completely change his views (the Boomer brainwashing is strong), but he'll be slightly less resentful about it when the two of them have to get married to avoid being forced to testify against each other in court.

(House and my OC are going to commit SO MANY CRIMES, you guys. One of the ways I'm working through the "this kinda feels like cheating" discomfort of being happily married IRL but shipping my author self-insert OC with another man is by making my story a bit of a cautionary tale about what I might get up to without my IRL husband's good influence and constant admonishments of "no murder!" My OC is going to commit AT LEAST three murders in her efforts to change the timeline.)

#house #house md #hatecrimes md #hate crimes md #boomers #millennials #generation gap #time travel problems #writing fanfiction

[dragonagitator]

idea: a lazy historian with a time machine.

they are tired of having to catalog all these battles and figure out where they were fought and who died in them and what strategies were used so they go back in time and prevent the war from happening.

they go back and stop poisonings and such so that the monarchs will have long uneventful reigns.

yeah, we learned a whole lot about roman life because of how much of it was preserved when mt. Vesuvius exploded, but who cares about that? we've got a time machine now. no volcano day, Pompeii was never destroyed. No artifacts we have to dig out from under 12 feet of ash, no bodies preserved as empty cavities we can fill with plaster of paris, it's too much fucking work.

we could study a bunch of different accounts and research random architects showing up a decade later who for some reason know latin, but you know what'd make the mystery of what happened to the princes in the tower much easier to solve? if they never got put there in the first place.

Who shot JFK? NO ONE, BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T STOP ASKING ABOUT IT.

Their spouse works for the National Transportation Safety Board. You know what's the easiest plane crash to investigate? one that didn't happen.

#time travel #timeless #garcia flynn #lucy preston

[dragonagitator]

RIP Dr. Gregory House, you would have thrived in 2020s internet culture. You were already an unhinged memelord before we even had a term for it, and anyone who could make paper printouts go viral would have definitely done numbers online.

#house #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #greg house #gregory house

[dragonagitator]

spending an hour looking for an appropriate pic to go with my "I need House bites to live" joke has really given me a new appreciation for Hugh Laurie sticking things in his mouth

Need someone to write a house x reader fic based off that new hozier song about to drop too sweet

Like imagine omg

#house #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #greg house #gregory house #hugh laurie #oral fixation

[dragonagitator]

the best part of writing my self-indulgent author self-insert House MD isekai fanfic is thinking up lines for my OC like "Dr. Foreman is the closest thing this department has to a well-adjusted functioning adult. I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up running this whole hospital someday."

one of the main reasons i self-ship House/me is because we both have an unholy love for subtly verbally screwing with everyone around us at all times regardless of whether anyone else ever picks up on it

i'm not nearly as smart as him, but there's definitely some "whatever the fuck is wrong with him is wrong with me to" going on

#i amuse myself #house #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #foreman #eric foreman

[dragonagitator]

people like to talk about how Tumblr doesn't have a user‐profiling content-pushing algorithm like on other social media sites, but I am definitely feeling some sort of profiled right now

#wilson #james wilson #house #house md #hatecrimes md #hate crimes md #hornyposting #robert sean leonard

[dragonagitator]

most accurate description of Dr. Gregory House

#house #house md #greg house #gregory house #hatecrimes md #hate crimes md

[dragonagitator]

there is no heterosexual explanation for House having so many bisexuality jokes just queued up and ready to go like he did

my favorite fan theory / headcanon about House's sexual orientation is that he is a closeted and deeply repressed bisexual who used to occasionally have sex with other men before he met Wilson but has only had sex with women since then because he's lost interest in all other men except Wilson

you know that was the highlight of his day

#house #house md #greg house #gregory house #thirteen #remy hadley #remy thirteen hadley #bisexual house #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md