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erinysceidae · 4 months

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Instead of art, today we have the accompanying pages for this picture. Which, I realize now, neglects the ring she was given. But, at least I got the correct hand missing this time.

Anyway, the beginning of Chapter 7. (Note, this has been partially self-edited, but not peer reviewed, so I apologize for any errors. It is a work in progress.)

Chapter 7 - The Meaning of Failure

Magda collapsed into the large, soft chair and turned her gaze out the window, the sky was just beginning to tinge orange of sunset. The clouds churned, turning rosy pink and soft lavender. It was Lina’s favorite color.

She turned her back to the window and hugged her knees. Cecily was bustling in the kitchen. Magda closed her eye and focused on the smell of butter and sage.

“Long day?”

His hollow voice was familiar by now, so she didn’t bother to open her eye. “Yes,” she replied. “I am genuinely spent. I have used so much magic today. Juniper and Laurel wanted to test the volume of my focus. We’re still not sure, we ran out of space before I ran out of energy.”

“Ran out of space?”

“We started by infusing focus into herbs, but we ran out of herbs. So, we harvested the herbs and tried to grow more— magicking a plant to grow is pretty energy intense, and can affect a plant lifespan, so we could only do it once. Even then, we harvested the garden a second time and I could have done more, but Juniper was running out of containers for the herbs,” Magda said gesturing vaguely. “You were right though. I exhausted myself physically well before my focus burned low. Even now, I can feel there is more within, but I—“

She interrupted herself with a yawn.

“Excuse me. That’s why Cecily is cooking something. I don’t think I could make it to the tavern, not to mention back. Talking to you is the only thing keeping me awake.”

“Should I go? Let you nap?”

“No, I’m glad for the company,” she said.

The chair creaked slightly, and she opened her eye just a crack. Arms crossed over the back of the chair, chin resting on his hands, The Owl loomed over her but his presence was calming. “I suppose we must keep you awake until dinner. So… go on. Tell me about your busy day.”

Magda smirked, and again rested her eye. “Well,” she began, “I was awoken by sweet Cecily bringing me yet more clothes from Sassy. I could wear a different thing each day for a week and never double up. Fitted pants, flowing pants, short pants and full pants that are practically a skirt by any other name! Blouses with billowing sleeves, with sleeves that laced up snugly and sleeves with slits, tunics with belts and tops with no sleeves at all! Is it proper to bare ones shoulders like that?”

“Shoulders? I suppose there might be some that find it scandalous, but I can’t imagine how.”

“I don’t know how anyone dresses themself everyday. I felt overwhelmed by choice. I nearly put on my clothes from yesterday, but Cecily had already taken them away, so I choose a top and bottom at random and thankfully no one has questioned my choices yet.”

The chair shifted as The Owl leaned over and glanced at her better. “Looks like suitable clothing to me.”

“My mistake was in not choosing a bodice or vest, so I had to have Cecily tie a ribbon around it and wear it like a necklace,” she said, lifting the ribbon from her neck and displaying the knife at the end.

“You needn’t tie it to you,” The Owl said.

“Well, I did,” she said. “My first chore, not counting having to dress, was to go see Sassy and give her the majiril. That was easy. But then she wanted to know if I’d eaten yet, and next thing I knew I was in the tavern for breakfast. Everyone was there— everyone but you.”

“Did you expect me to be there?”

“No, no… but… everyone was there,” Magda said quietly, “Lina was there.”

The Owl groaned sympathetically.

“She was in a chair with wheels, being pushed by a beastkin almost identical to Cecily. I’ve seen a lot of them around town, they’re Galleta’s children too, right?”

“Yes, her husband looks like a black wolf. I’m not sure what his exact lineage is, but when asked Galleta says he’s a fey church dog,” The Owl said, tapping his fingers on the back of the chair. “She laughs when she says it, but she laughs at a lot of serious things.”

“Hmm. Lina was eating with Madam Francesca. Laughing. Smiling. She was her lovely, charming self. She’s always been outgoing and friendly, afraid of no one. I suppose I’m glad that she’s happy.”

The Owl scoffed, “why?”

She opened her eye to scowl at him. “Because… because for my whole life she was my only friend. Just because that has changed doesn’t mean I wish her ill.”

“You’re too kind,” he said chidingly.

“Thank you,” she snipped. “I wish her well, but I do not I want to see her, either. I ate what I could quickly and excused myself. Knowing what I know now, I might not have left in such a hurry. I knew the next chore would be unpleasant, but I was not prepared.”

“Oh?” He asked.

She nodded, then lifted her eyepatch. “Ceridwn and Narrow took measurements. It didn’t hurt, not really, but having a strange new hole in one’s face probed and prodded is… unpleasant.”

“That doesn’t hurt?” He said, reaching and, with a gentle touch, caressing her cheek. She turned her face so he could see.

“It aches sometimes, but major injuries can linger,” she said, putting the patch back down. “But, at least I got a bunch of other spells and ideas from Ceridwn. Including the one that means no more messy visits from ladyhood, so hooray. Magic is amazing and Matron Ana was a fool for fighting against it.”

The Owl genuinely laughed.

“I’m happy for you,” he said, patting her on the head tenderly.

“So am I,” Magda said, smiling. “Narrow and I left the clinic, so she could show me my new hand. It should be ready tomorrow. It’s… amazing.”

She held her arms up and looked at them. There was a small bronze ring on her pinky. She flexed her hand, then closed her eye again.

“I don’t have to worry about breaking this one. It’s got bones made of metal that will be reinforced by my focus. I’ll control it with my mind, it’s really something wonderful. Over the skeleton there’s this leather glove, and it’s really pretty, with these polished bands and shining guards… did you know Narrow went back to the temple after we’d come back from it?”

“Yes, she told me about that. She said she scavenged what could.”

“She did. She… she got the bell. She actually retrieved the temple bell,” Magda said, tears blurring her vision. “It was bent out of shape, and had no where to belong. The temple has all but collapsed. But she got the bell, she brought it home. She gave it life again. All the decorations and fasteners on the glove are made from the bell’s bronze.”

“She did not tell me that.”

Magda raised her hand and gazed at the bronze ring on her hand, “she says there’s a special magic in holy items. It may help me, but even if it doesn’t it feels nice to have a piece of the temple with me.”

“The temple meant a lot to you.”

“It was my home. It was all I knew, and it gave me purpose,” she said softly. “I believe in order. Order is peace, reason and life.”

“Yet here you are, choosing to be in the midst of all this chaos,” The Owl mused.

“Oh, yes. Order without chaos is unchanging, devoid of life. Chaos without order is nonsense, devoid of definition. One is meaningless without the other; they give each other purpose.”

“That’s very poetic,” The Owl mused, letting his hand slip off her silky hair and dangle beside her.

“I would like to be poetic,” she mused, lifting her hand and batting at his fingertips with her own. “I did practice my letters while I was with Laurel and Juniper. Laurel gave me a practice book. It is for very small children, but I have no room to be embarrassed when I am the one who can not read.”

“I am sure you will pick it up quickly,” he said.

There was a subtle clink as Cecily set a tray down on the table. She glanced up at The Owl, and tilted her head. She gestured to him, pressing her open hands back to palm.

“I don’t know if you could call us that,” The Owl admitted.

“Oh, this looks lovely,” Magda said, sitting up and stretching. The tray had seasoned rice, curled sausage, and roasted yellow squash. “Call us what?”

“She asked if we were close,” he explained. “I don’t really know how to be close. How to have a friend. I don’t know if I want one. There is still a looming chance of failure.”

Magda fumbled with her utensils, trying clumsily to cut the sausage one handed. “You willfully cling to being a stubborn, scared little boy.”

“I am not… “ he faltered, grasping at straws, “little,” he said pathetically.

Cecily took the fork from Magda and held her hand out for the knife, then began cutting Magda’s food.

“A little boy who would cut out his heart to save himself the pain of it breaking,” Magda scoffed.

She turned her head and looked back, looking up at The Owl who was still leaning on her chair, still staring at her with dying ember eyes.

“Lechuza. I will not be afraid. I will not cut out my heart. You must face pain, tame it and accept it. Only then will it begin to heal.”

This close, she could see the movement of his covered face, and heard the soft inhale as he failed to find his words.

She reached up toward him.

He stilled, but did not move away.

A single finger brushed his chin. He held his breath and closed his eyes— the distant fire disappearing. She waited to see if he would draw away from her, like a timid beast.

With a shuddering breath, he opened one eye, then the other. Sparks in the void, a light to follow through the darkness. Slowly, so slowly, he leaned just a little closer. She cupped his cheek and smiled.

“You’re safe. I have you. I do not want to hurt you. I don’t want you to hurt at all. But that’s a castle in the sky, isn’t it? So… when you’re ready to face the pain, I’ll be here.”

Lifting his hand, he placed it over hers and pressed his face against her palm for just a heartbeat more.

“Here, in this moment in time. Even when this is just a distant memory, I will be here. Save this moment in your heart, and find strength in it. Push away the thought of failure.”

“I think… I need to tell you what failure really means,” he said, drawing away from her. “But I worry it will scare you.”

“I told you, I am not afraid.”

“Maybe you should be,” he said, coming around the chair and sitting on the floor beside it. “Eat first.”

#lechuza #Magdalene #write every day

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erinysceidae · 4 months

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🎮 HEY I WANNA MAKE A GAME! 🎮

Yeah I getcha. I was once like you. Pure and naive. Great news. I AM STILL PURE AND NAIVE, GAME DEV IS FUN! But where to start?

To start, here are a couple of entry level softwares you can use! source: I just made a game called In Stars and Time and people are asking me how to start making vidy gaems. Now, without further ado:

SOFTWARES AND ENGINES FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO CODE!!!

Ren'py (and also a link to it if you click here do it): THE visual novel software. Comic artists, look no further ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It has great documentation! It has a bunch of plugins and UI stuff and assets for you to buy! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) You can also port your game to a BUNCH of consoles! ✨Cons: None really <3 Some games to look at: Doki Doki Literature Club, Bad End Theater, Butterfly Soup

Twine: Great for text-based games! GREAT FOR WRITERS WHO DONT WANNA DRAW!!!!!!!!! (but you can draw if you want) ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's versatile! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) ✨Cons: You can add pictures, but it's a pain. Some games to look at: The Uncle Who Works For Nintendo, Queers In love At The End of The World, Escape Velocity

Bitsy: Little topdown games! ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's (somewhat) intuitive! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! You can make everything in it, from text to sprites to code! Those games sure are small! ✨Cons: Those games sure are small. This is to make THE simplest game. Barely any animation for your sprites, can barely fit a line of text in there. But honestly, the restrictions are refreshing! Some games to look at: honestly I haven't played that many bitsy games because i am a fake gamer. The picture above is from Under A Star Called Sun though and that looks so pretty

RPGMaker: To make RPGs! LIKE ME!!!!! NOTE: I recommend getting the latest version if you can, but all have their pros and cons. You can get a better idea by looking at this post. ✨Pros: Literally everything you need to make an RPG. Has a tutorial inside the software itself that will teach you the basics. Pretty simple to understand, even if you have no coding experience! Also I made a post helping you out with RPGMaker right here! ✨Cons: Some stuff can be hard to figure out. Also, the latest version is expensive. Get it on sale! Some games to look at: Ib, Hylics, In Stars and Time (hehe. I made it)

engine.lol: collage worlds! it is relatively new so I don't know much about it, but it seems fascinating. picture is from Garden! NOTE: There's a bunch of smaller engines to find out there. Just yesterday I found out there's an Idle Game Maker made by the Cookie Clicker creator. Isn't life wonderful?

✨more advice under the cut. this is Long ok✨

ENGINES I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND THEY SEEM HARD BUT ALSO GIVE IT A TRY I GUESS!!!! :

Unity and Unreal: I don't know anything about those! That looks hard to learn! But indie devs use them! It seems expensive! Follow your dreams though! Don't ask me how!

GameMaker: Wuh I just don't know anything about it either! I just know it's now free if your game is non-commercial (aka, you're not selling it), and Undertale was made on it! It seems good! You probably need some coding experience though!!!

Godot: Man I know even less about this one. Heard good things though!

BUNCHA RANDOM ADVICE!!!!

-Make something small first! Try making simple: a character is in a room, and exits the room. The character can look around, decide to take an item with them, can leave, and maybe the door is locked and you have to find the key. Figuring out how to code something like that, whether it is as a fully text-based game or as an RPGMaker map, should be a good start to figure out how your software of choice works!

-After that, if you have an idea, try first to make the simplest version of that idea. For my timeloop RPG, my simplest version was two rooms: first room you can walk in, second room with the King, where a cutscene automatically plays and the battle starts, you immediately die, and loop back to the first room, with the text from this point on reflecting this change. I think I also added a loop counter. This helped me figure out the most important thing: Can This Game Be Made? After that, the rest is just fun stuff. So if you want to make a dating sim, try and figure out how to add choices, and how to have affection points go up and down depending on your choices! If you want to make a platformer, figure out how to make your character move and jump and how to create a simple level! If you just want to make a kinetic visual novel with no choices, figure out how to add text, and how to add portraits! You'll be surprised at how powerful you'll feel after having figured even those simple things out.

-If you have a programming problem or just get confused, never underestimate the power of asking Google! You most likely won't be the only person asking this question, and you will learn some useful tips! If you are powerful enough, you can even… Ask people??? On forums??? Not me though.

-Yeah I know you probably want to make Your Big Idea RIGHT NOW but please. Make a smaller prototype first. You need to get that experience. Trust me.

-If you are not a womanthing of many skills like me, you might realize you need help. Maybe you need an artist, or a programmer. So! Game jams on itch.io are a great way to get to work and meet other game devs that have different strengths! Or ask around! Maybe your artist friend secretly always wanted to draw for a game. Ask! Collaborate! Have fun!!!

I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye

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