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#silver #silver place #laura

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You have roots inside of me.

#moth

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#laura

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#moth #you're destroying me

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hahahaha. I need to send my phone for repairs so I'm getting every file off it (I don't trust cloud backups) and there was something that was just taking the Absolute Longest for No Reason. anyways it's the video mentioned here! it is 6.5gb because I guess it had to be recorded in hd on this phone or some shit lmfao. but I am keeping it because I have yet again lost access to my memories so ✌️

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@ninotbh

#moth #feels like I have to force you to care

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yesterday I found out about yet another friend dying by suicide. he only got married last year. massive crazy wedding with stupidly expensive hired cars. I say that as a positive because if you can afford it why the fuck not. and now he's gone just like that.

#this is someone I've known since I was 12 and I am now 24 #I feel sick and numb and nothing and everything #I feel so so fucking terrible for his wife. to have to be going through that is unimaginable.

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new layout new me. anyway

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Art by Eldar Akmanaev

#Richey #bcd #ohhhhh my god #new icon for sure #or header #or both

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to have one of the kids abused alongside you kill himself nearly 6 years ago. to find out recently that the other kid has attempted 3x this year so far. to feel like you should be the same that you shouldn't be alive that you should trigger yourself repeatedly until you can't cope with being alive anymore and just finish this shit for real this time.

to have the one fucking person who knows a Fraction of what you've gone through because you trusted him That much suddenly stop speaking to you after being close for over 5 years. to have him refuse to tell you why

I want to talk to someone but no one fucking understands. no one truly gets what is in my head I want to throw up

#how the fuck #do I deal with this #tw scd #I guess

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I want to talk to someone but no one fucking understands. no one truly gets what is in my head I want to throw up

#emeto

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paranoia

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not coping. at a breaking point actually. how do I do this how do I fucking do this

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What becomes of this purity?

Journal Entries / Motion (1/?)

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i regret you all the time

#feeling this rn #which is Weird

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physically i am at work but mentally the 8 year old version of myself is stuck crying in a dark room