fennecfox2121

[fennecfox2121]

As a Wrecker girly this shit was way too intense but i'm happy regardless

#tbb #A HAPPY ENDING? IN SW?

[fennecfox2121]

There is this fear, rightfully so, that people on the aro spectrum have about being second to their friends once their friends get into romantic relationships.

Yes, 100% that is a valid and very real fear.

I’m going to talk about how that fear manifests for me (us) as aro individual who has had romantic relationships (mostly poor examples).

-irl friends of tumblr if you read this all the way through just bare with me. I am processing because I am sick therefore unable to used work to distract myself from my thoughts-

Leif (as the one who dates™️)

I have always prioritize friends over anything else. Mostly because the household we grew up in rejected friendships, so me being me I was like fuck you I am going to make friends. Definitely easier said than done.

Anyway, without getting into too much detail, I was in a “romantic relationship” by the definition I guess. Because my fear of making my friends feel like they are second to any romantic partner I could have, I have a rule that anyone who decides to date me needs to be my friend first. I have this rule because my friends are my world and in order to be a part of that world a potential partner would basically yknow experience it.

I don’t talk about my last “romantic relationship” much because it was a fucking shit show. Also because I broke that rule. The thing about unmasked Leify is that he is really stubborn. He doesn’t budge and will stick by what he believes in. Unless that belief is called into question or should I say twisted to make it seem like I am doing something harmful when I am in fact not.

I bring this up because there are people out there who will make you think that making your friends a priority is a bad thing. They will try to force the idea that your romantic partner should be the most important thing in your life. Don’t let them trick you.

Having a close bond with your friends does not make you a cheater. Wanting to spend time with your friends doesn’t make you a cheater. Making your friendships a priority in your life doesn’t make you a cheater.

At the end of the day, if a person is really for you it won’t feel like they are getting in the way. It won’t feel like you have to choose between them or your friends. It won’t make you question your values that you stand by.

Manipulative people will make you believe that your partner needs to be your *everything*

Anyone who tells you this is incorrect. ESPECIALLY, if you are on the aroace spectrum. Decentering romance even if you are in a romantic relationship is okay.

What do you mean?

There isn’t a right way to have a romantic relationship. Love of any kind isn’t something that can be contained. It is literally a concept created to be spread and transform and heal.

I have someone who I am romantically interested in. Like actually this time. The difference for me is that she doesn’t make it a choice. She knows that I am down horrendous for my friends in the way that *I* show it. Just as I flirted with her when we started our friendship, I still flirt with my friends. I let them know that they are loved and appreciated and they are the hottest people alive because they are my friends and my friends are beautiful. This is not an issue because the person I am romantically interested is willing to understand that in my life my friends mean the world to me. She knows that there is a space for her too because she is also my friend. We’ve known each other for 4 months and it only took her like 2 (probably less) to grasp the concept that me prioritizing my friendships doesn’t mean that she has any less value to me.

Why? Because she knows how much my friends mean to me and instead of getting upset, guilt tripping me or any crazy shit like that she simply worked from a place of understanding. Which is exactly what made me fall for her in the first place.

If you are in a romantic relationship and your partner makes you choose between them or your friends. Run away. Because there is a person out there, if you are interested in looking (we didn’t look lmao this wasn’t planned but I am glad it happened), who will take you as you are. Even if you’re like me and you have a friendship wall and you treat your friends as if y’all are in a 20 year long marriage-or sometimes a divorced couple with shared custody-

They will still love you as you are.

-from a demiromantic (sex is okay as long as you can listen to me explain the lore behind Resident Evil uncharted while making a painting for you (demisexual))

Make your friends a priority. Dump that emotionally manipulative asshole. You’ll thank me for it later

#THIS #The sheer differehce in happiness I feel between my first relationship and my current one #dude from first relationship literally made fun of my friends and siblings all the time???

[fennecfox2121]

Open tags

Thank you @fangirl-couch-potato for tagging me to do this picrew!

No pressure tagging @brekker-by-brekkerr, @aintinacage, @dean-belongs-with-lisa, @achromaticerebus, @likea-black-widow-baby and @redwidow616!

[fennecfox2121]

had to get this out of my head, hope it helps someone!

[fennecfox2121]

learning that people want you in their lives is a skill you can develop if it does not come naturally

#note to self

[fennecfox2121]

reblog this to remind the person you reblogged it from that theyre loved

[fennecfox2121]

#love live

[fennecfox2121]

i have a leaf blanket :D

open tags

Picrew Tag Game!

I was tagged by @odeblr to cattify myself using this picrew! Thank you so much, Ezra :)

The blue spots represent the streaks of blue I currently have in my hair! The glasses on my cat self are almost identical to my real ones, so I couldn't not use them :)

I will tag @jongside, @faceglitchsworld, @solaysa, @snoos-tattoos, @seohosincerely, @toxicrevolver, @luvrli, @shadow-of-tea-and-tea, @littlebookworm69, @asoulsreverie and @chronosik only if you want! As always, if you see this and would like to do it too, feel more than welcome!

[fennecfox2121]

#AAAA I WOULD DIE FOR THEM #especially alinua #aurora comic

[fennecfox2121]

your mistakes do not define you. the trajectory of your life is not ruined because of one slip up. keep going. do not let this moment fester in your mind forever. it can be easy to keep analyzing your mistakes and wondering where you went wrong. but fight the voices that tell you that you could have done better. you are trying your best 🌱☀️

[fennecfox2121]

why does college have to college

#No more grad school for me #lol

[fennecfox2121]

GET HUGGED YALL

(Everyone who reads this post)

This is the Tumblr hug 🫂🤍 Please pass it on to 5 mutuals to brighten someone’s day!

@yourlocalbreadenthusiast @edendahsnek @m3ll0m0chi @bbsundae @cyberixaa @kittydragondraws @jinxedtext @hybridcrows @absolute-solver

And lastly, @sk3tchyy42 , youuuuuu

(I probably did miss some mutuals, MUTUALS OR NOT COME HERE FOR A HUG)

[fennecfox2121]

Look at you:

Celebrating Christmas no matter how hard the year has been.

Celebrating the success of getting through difficult times.

Celebrating yourself, your growth and healing process from traumas.

Despite the year, you are pushing forward.

[fennecfox2121]

If you advocate for mental health awareness, but joke about things like intrusive thoughts and schizophrenia, think it’s disgusting and lazy when people who are depressed can’t do things like showering or cleaning their room, use terms like “narcissistic abuse”, and believe that having ASPD, BPD, or NPD makes someone a bad person, you are not a mental health advocate. You don’t actually care about helping people or de-stigmatizing mental illness, you just want to make yourself feel like you do. You can’t pick and choose what disorders and symptoms are acceptable, and which ones make someone a bad person. Either you support everyone, or you support no one.

and if you’re neurodivergent/mentally ill and you do any of those things, you are part of the problem. there’s no such thing as “good/moral” disorders, or “bad/immoral” disorders. We all need to have each other’s backs.

[fennecfox2121]

Star foxes - original paintings are available in my shop

#me and my bf fr

[fennecfox2121]

tagging anyone who wants to worm :3

Tagged by @austin-the-creechur to make. a worm picrew, I tag...anyone who'd like to make one!

[fennecfox2121]

parchment; favorite book?

melody; favorite artists?

uhhhhh i dont know for either of those I like everything and i am indecisive 👍