fishfraud

[fishfraud]

The Provably Worst Gun for Home Defense

What is provably the WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won't hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it.

This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.

I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.

Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door.

Your feet make a loud "thud" as vou take each 6" step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.

You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times. To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.

With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream.

You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leopuld into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.

You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.

It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear.

The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care.

Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator. You're crying now. The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.

[fishfraud]

[fishfraud]

I can't believe that to make things I have to actually make the things. Ridiculous.

#yes this is about the three inch hole in the sink #I have to put somthing in there #but all my barbies are in the microwave #and its weirdly hard to find barbie limbs now #run on the barbie limb bank #and my burritos been in the microwave for the past 30 min #shitpost

[fishfraud]

[fishfraud]

A contribution to the over-under debate

The debate is almost as old as time- over or under? Not, of course, that anyone would confess to belonging to the latter camp, the position being almost universally reviled, certainly moreso then even the slight defense of pineapple on pizza by despicable degenerates and liberal-minded individuals convinced that as long as they don't have to eat it, the toppings of another's pizza are inconsequential. No, the over under debate is not a fair fight, but more of a beatdown of a defenseless strawman. But progress marches on, and soon even the Over school will be entirely obsolete.

Progress now demands a new, modern method of placing toilet paper. After all, when the toilet paper holder was patented, could the founding fathers of the shithouse have foreseen the girthy rolls now available? Could the immediate descendants of the brave pioneers accustomed to wiping their ass with corncobs and the bits of the sears-roebuck catalog that didn't have the underwear models, could they have appreciated the exquisite and mathematical madness of 17.5 rolls of toilet paper crammed into only 6 rolls?

No, and neither could the 1970's designers of my apartment, who furnished toilet paper holders sadly inadequate to the task of holding the new products of a new and revolutionary age. The massive rolls that wipe the ass of progress must be accommodated. Consider this Ex cathedra-

#literal shitpost #toilet paper #funny tumblr #funny #meme

[fishfraud]

AI is not Pandoras box

Stop the pandora slander

The gods didn't give her any indication about what was in the box, they were just like "don't open it". Girl legitimately thought it was some sick ass jewlery, she didn't even know what evil was. Meanwhile a millionaire named Brett from San Francisco literally put the box to his ear, shook it, went "damn, sounds like a shit ton of evil and misery in here" and then opened it

#pandora #democratizing talent my ass #funny tumblr #artificial intelligence #chatgtp #greek mythology