flying-guinea-pig

[flying-guinea-pig]

A professional exorcist, but with the attitude of a professional pet handler. A demon whisperer, if you will. Just showing up to places that have a ghost problem, figuring out what the creature's problem is, and then just... give them chew toys, usually. The girl whose soul is trapped in your cellar is scared and bored in there, of course she'll rush at you and shriek every time you try to go in there. Ease her into human interaction, leave the door open sometimes and talk to her until she gets used to you.

Yeah the thing clawing on your walls is a bear spirit. Yeah a bear was slaughtered on the spot of this house incorrectly in the 1800s or something. Yeah performing the proper rites now won't make it go away, it's already used to your trash - bears are creatures of habit. Just do these little rituals to appease it every once in a while. In the good news, the ghost bear will keep the living bears off your trash. Yeah bears have a lot of reverence to their dead.

Oh, "poltergeist" is an outdated term, we don't use it anymore. It was used as a kind of a blanket explanation for a whole bunch of different phenomena that couldn't be explained otherwise. What you have here is an undiagnosed autistic child who's also on psychic spectrum. Yeah no there's actually significant overlap between the two. Here's where to find resources on how to better accomodate your kid, the furniture should stop exploding on its own once you've figured out a better way to communicate so they don't get overstimulated.

This house right here is just build on a demon area. No yeah the mysterious scripts you found carved in the stone that your house's foundation was built on literally just say "DEMON AREA DO NOT BUILD". They don't live here, it's just like an ant road. Except the ants are the size of a truck and immaterial. No you can't redirect the demon highway, you gotta move. You built a house on top of a stone that literally says "DO NOT BUILD". I get that you didn't know it at the time, but you do know now, so if you choose to stay, that's a you problem.

#printers are haunted

[flying-guinea-pig]

A professional exorcist, but with the attitude of a professional pet handler. A demon whisperer, if you will. Just showing up to places that have a ghost problem, figuring out what the creature's problem is, and then just... give them chew toys, usually. The girl whose soul is trapped in your cellar is scared and bored in there, of course she'll rush at you and shriek every time you try to go in there. Ease her into human interaction, leave the door open sometimes and talk to her until she gets used to you.

Yeah the thing clawing on your walls is a bear spirit. Yeah a bear was slaughtered on the spot of this house incorrectly in the 1800s or something. Yeah performing the proper rites now won't make it go away, it's already used to your trash - bears are creatures of habit. Just do these little rituals to appease it every once in a while. In the good news, the ghost bear will keep the living bears off your trash. Yeah bears have a lot of reverence to their dead.

Oh, "poltergeist" is an outdated term, we don't use it anymore. It was used as a kind of a blanket explanation for a whole bunch of different phenomena that couldn't be explained otherwise. What you have here is an undiagnosed autistic child who's also on psychic spectrum. Yeah no there's actually significant overlap between the two. Here's where to find resources on how to better accomodate your kid, the furniture should stop exploding on its own once you've figured out a better way to communicate so they don't get overstimulated.

This house right here is just build on a demon area. No yeah the mysterious scripts you found carved in the stone that your house's foundation was built on literally just say "DEMON AREA DO NOT BUILD". They don't live here, it's just like an ant road. Except the ants are the size of a truck and immaterial. No you can't redirect the demon highway, you gotta move. You built a house on top of a stone that literally says "DO NOT BUILD". I get that you didn't know it at the time, but you do know now, so if you choose to stay, that's a you problem.

#this would fit for transcendence au #tau

[flying-guinea-pig]

It’s like this…

You’re fourteen and you’re reading Larry Niven’s “The Protector” because it’s your father’s favorite book and you like your father and you think he has good taste and the creature on the cover of the book looks interesting and you want to know what it’s about. And in it the female character does something better than the male character - because she’s been doing it her whole life and he’s only just learned - and he gets mad that she’s better at it than him. And you don’t understand why he would be mad about that, because, logically, she’d be better at it than him. She’s done it more. And he’s got a picture of a woman painted on the inside of his spacesuit, like a pinup girl, and it bothers you.

But you’re fourteen and you don’t know how to put this into words.

And then you’re fifteen and you’re reading “Orphans of the Sky” because it’s by a famous sci-fi author and it’s about a lost generation ship and how cool is that?!? but the women on the ship aren’t given a name until they’re married and you spend more time wondering what people call those women up until their marriage than you do focusing on the rest of the story. Even though this tidbit of information has nothing to do with the plot line of the story and is only brought up once in passing.

But it’s a random thing to get worked up about in an otherwise all right book.

Then you’re sixteen and you read “Dune” because your brother gave it to you for Christmas and it’s one of those books you have to read to earn your geek card. You spend an entire afternoon arguing over who is the main character - Paul or Jessica. And the more you contend Jessica, the more he says Paul, and you can’t make him see how the real hero is her. And you love Chani cause she’s tough and good with a knife, but at the end of the day, her killing Paul’s challengers is just a way to degrade them because those weenies lost to a girl.

Then you’re seventeen and you don’t want to read “Stranger in a Strange Land” after the first seventy pages because something about it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth. All of this talk of water-brothers. You can’t even pin it down.

And then you’re eighteen and you’ve given up on classic sci-fi, but that doesn’t stop your brother or your father from trying to get you to read more.

Even when you bring them the books and bring them the passages and show them how the authors didn’t treat women like people.

Your brother says, “Well, that was because of the time it was written in.”

You get all worked up because these men couldn’t imagine a world in which women were equal, in which women were empowered and intelligent and literate and capable. 

You tell him - this, this is science fiction. This is all about imagining the world that could be and they couldn’t stand back long enough and dare to imagine how, not only technology would grow in time, but society would grow. 

But he blows you off because he can’t understand how it feels to be fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen and desperately wanting to like the books your father likes, because your father has good taste, and being unable to, because most of those books tell you that you’re not a full person in ways that are too subtle to put into words. It’s all cognitive dissonance: a little like a song played a bit out of tempo - enough that you recognize it’s off, but not enough to pin down what exactly is wrong.

And then one day you’re twenty-two and studying sociology and some kind teacher finally gives you the words to explain all those little feelings that built and penned around inside of you for years.

It’s like the world clicking into place. 

And that’s something your brother never had to struggle with.

[flying-guinea-pig]

Hey! Are you the author of So You Want to be a Demonologist? I was wondering if I could get permission to make a fan animation. Your fics are great :)

Sorry for the late reply (is it late? I can't tell since there's no date on these asks) but of course you can! And thanks :)

#transcendence au #so you want to be a demonologist

[flying-guinea-pig]

Would you be cool with people making reincarnations of your OCs from the So You Want To Be A Demonologst series? I just wanted to make sure you’d be fine with that because I have a story idea

I have no clue when this ask was sent since I haven't checked tumblr in... too long, but here's a blanket permission to play around with them! The best part of Transcendence AU is how many artists and authors have added to it, so go nuts and create :)

#transcendence au #so you want to be a demonologist

[flying-guinea-pig]

I.... I'm so amazed and flattered and look how beautiful this looks!

Two weekends of work later, and I've finally finished my hardcover version of @flying-guinea-pig's So You Want To Be A Demonologist! I've never bound a book before, so this was definitely a new experience for me, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out!

[flying-guinea-pig]

Hank and His Supernatural Mafia, 10/10

Oh hey it’s only been 8 years since I last updated. Previous chapters here. I’ll do a longer note eventually but for now thank you @toothpastecanyon for the prompt that turned into the final chapter, and @marypsue for everything, as always.

—-

The most dangerous man in Portland sat in an uncomfortable seat in a Greyhound station. In the past he would have been walking around, looking out the windows, getting endless rounds of bad free coffee…

But it had only been a few months since he had left the hospital and his shattered knee was still tender, still healing towards… not what it used to be, but better than where he was at now.

It was a weird liminal space, being newly disabled. He was out of the hospital with the initial shock fading, and his new, permanent reality settling in-

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Next to Hank sat the most dangerous man in North America.

“Nah, just woolgathering. This was a good visit dad.”

Lees verder

#transcendence au #hank and his supernatural mafia

[flying-guinea-pig]

I'm screaming! Adams looks so DONE with Alcor's shenanigans (in all of these lol), the little pixelated Alvie, the bodycam, the symbol in the background, Alcor's shirt!

I'm also impressed with how your art style progressed, wow. The amount of added detail and the lighting!

The first one deserves love too, though! Alcor's expression is so smug hahaha

Back in 2017 I drew fanart for @flying-guinea-pig ‘s fic Season Finale and now every year starting in 2021 I’ve been redrawing it and this is this year’s attempt :D don’t really know why I never shared them before but hey here it is now ^-^

Also you can see the previous versions of this below the cut (Warning the 1st is about as far from my best work as you can get haha)

~2022~

~2021~

~2017~

#transcendence au #tau #alcor #Elizabeth adams #Alcor virus #al-v #This is so amazing i mean LOOK at the lighting in the last one and #NOT ALCOR shirt lol

[flying-guinea-pig]

it's gonna take a while to get used to this

#transcendence au #alcor the dreambender #Little demon

[flying-guinea-pig]

This was meant to be for Month of Maybel 2022 (Prompt: creativity), but as always I’m super late.

Relativity Falls! The Mystery Shack is a bit different under Mabel’s leadership.

Not pictured: speed knitting, cursed wax minifigs, unicorn blood slime, unicorn hair friendship bracelets, homemade edible glitter, and mabel juice.

Bonus Stans:

#gravity falls #mabel pines #comic #this is a fun au

[flying-guinea-pig]

this is so dumb i’m sorry sjakldjkldf

#gravity falls #lol

[flying-guinea-pig]

Fanart illustration for

Tales of a Dreambender

By Lady_Phenyx

Chapter 42: Apocalypse Averted

"There was a collective pause as The Followers had to attempt to reset their brains at the sight of The Great Alcor lying sprawled in their circle, eyes closed, hair mussed, wearing what appeared to be...a soft, fuzzy robe and...bunny...slippers? Over...pajamas...printed with...little black sheep?"

For @transcendence-au

#transcendence au #fanart #fic illustration

[flying-guinea-pig]

Wow I can’t believe Anime Alcor X Anime Woodsman is canon happy pride everyone

-=-=

Also hello it has been a while. I miss postin tau and comics in general but my current jobs really prevent me from doing personal work without destroying my hand :( so I’ll probs continue with this sketchy style, and I might not be colorin as much. But hopefully I can get back to updating this blog :)

#transcendence au #tau art #alcor the dreambender

[flying-guinea-pig]

You made the Deal-

Now it's finally time for me to collect!

There was conversation in the @transcendence-au discord server about Alcor using a scythe and the cool imagry it could invoke and well. I couldn't resist that opportunity, so voila.

#ngl I'm lowkey in love with this art #transcendence au #alcor the dreambender

[flying-guinea-pig]

talk street magic to me

drawing power from the metro lines

illusionists busking illegally, shimmering lights disintegrating as they run

plant mages tending tiny rooftop and windowbox gardens

elementary school kids learning basic sigils on the playground

wixen taking a while to key into the magic in new cities when they move

alchemists dealing on the side to support their experiments

middle schoolers making friendship talismans and amulets for everyone

numerologists who’ll do your math homework for $5 or divine your fortune for $10

kids mass-texting luck and speed spells when their parties get broken up by the cops

[flying-guinea-pig]

pov u just asked the most powerful demon in history to clean your office in exchange for a bag of gummy worms

(going thru another transcendence au phase by catching up on @flying-guinea-pig's so you want to be a demonologist series)

#transcendence au #Omgg #Art #Tyrone and Thomas #Don't use demons as a cheap cleaning service

[flying-guinea-pig]

Not What He Seems Ch.14

That’s it folk, we’re done here :) AO3 link

Chapter 14 - Family

“Pass the rice.”

“Say please.”

“Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

“I don’t know which scares me more,” Brad mused. “When you look murderous or when you try to make that puppy-face.”

Maria threw a pea at him in retaliation. Eduardo passed her the rice, since Brad was too busy ducking and laughing.

The apartment was filled with the greasy, mouthwatering scent of takeout. Elisha had put on some upbeat background music. Outside a spring storm tapped on the windows, but inside it was warm and cosy.

Thomas sat back in his chair, surrounded by the familiar teasing and joking, and couldn’t help but relax. Something inside of him that hadn’t felt quite right ever since that night was finally thawing. 

On the other side of the table was Tyrone, poking at his food and listening to the easy conversation around him. He must have felt Thomas’ gaze, because he looked up and smiled.

Twelve, Thomas thought, remembering this afternoon and what Tyrone had told him. Twelve, and at the same time centuries old. How difficult that must be. How painful to see everyone you cared about grow old, while you never really could. 

(“You were just a kid.”

“Bill Cipher didn’t care,” Dipper Pines had said.)

“- no way you can. Come on, prove me wrong.”

“Okay dude, be ready to be amazed!” Eduardo shoved his chair back and took off his shoes. 

When his socks followed, Elisha cleared her throat. “Could you move this to the couch?”

“What exactly are we doing? I wasn’t paying attention,” Thomas admitted.

Tyrone seemed distracted as well. He had barely touched his food. This wasn’t the first time Thomas noticed how human he looked. Only this time he knew it wasn’t just a disguise, but more of a might-have-been. A human soul turned into a demon, a demon’s soul released into the human reincarnation cycle in return… It still sounded crazy.

(“Evergreen,” Thomas had said, as puzzle pieces slipped into place. “I get it now. Very clever.”)

“Eddy claims he can use chopsticks with his feet,” Brad said.

“A useful and rare talent, I’m sure,” Elisha said, visibly amused despite herself. “But not one for the table we are all using to eat.”

“I’m moving, I’m moving,” Eduardo said. “Got an extra pair of chopsticks?”

Maria put down a single dumpling on the coffee table with an air of ceremony. “Go ahead.”

(“My twin sister. She was the original Mizar. And I know she’s still around, her soul at least – but I miss her,” Dipper Pines had said, shrinking down into himself until he was small, and so very young. “I can’t expect every reincarnation to be the same. They’re all Mizar. But they’re not all Mabel.”)

“It’s never going to work,” Brad said. “I don’t believe – what the heck? How are you doing this?”

“I have skills, dude,” Eduardo said, chewing on the dumpling. He swallowed it. “Tadaah!”

Maria whooped. Thomas laughed, and Elisha shook her head with a smile.

“You’re all ridiculous,” his fiancée said.

“It’s not that difficult.” Eduardo slipped the chopsticks from between his toes and sat back upright. “Want to try?”

“How about you, Tyrone?” Maria teased. “I bet you can’t.”

“Pff, of course I can. I just don’t feel the need to prove it.”

Brad glanced at him, and his uneaten plate of food. “You’re awfully quiet tonight.”

“Yeah, well,” Tyrone said, with a wry smile. “Nearly getting my friends killed dampens the mood somewhat.”

“That’s no reason to mope around,” Maria claimed. “Everything worked out fine, right?”

“I’m just glad it wasn’t you after all.” Brad made a face. “I was kinda worried about your weird PMS thing.”

“What exactly do you mean by that?” Elisha said, with a rather dry look at Brad.

“He means the whole Beast-and-Star theory,” Thomas saved Brad from his fiancée.

Which wasn’t right, he realised. They claimed Alcor had two faces – and maybe he did. But there was a third face, the one that loved candy and adventures and games. Not the destructive demon, not the fire-wreathed saviour. Just a child that never got to grow up.

“I don’t have a ‘weird PMS thing’!”

“Sure, whatever. Let’s just all be glad we’re alive and leave it at that.”

“Ugh.”

“There was a challenge given,” Maria reminded them, a glint in her eyes. “How about it, Tyrone? I bet you can’t pick up that dumpling with chopsticks, without using your hands.”

“Fine, challenge accepted. Get me those chopsticks.”

“Let’s make it interesting, shall we? If you succeed, you get my dessert. But if you fail, you owe me a little favour.”

“I take back what I said, this is your scariest expression,” Brad said. “Maria, scheming.”

“A favour, huh?” Tyrone grinned, back in his element. “You have something particular in mind, then?”

“Yep,” Maria said, matching his mischievous energy with her own wide grin. “Just your help with some little adjustments on my motorbike. Sentient vehicles are all the rage, after all.”

“Oh Stars,” Thomas groaned. This was a horrible idea. 

“Deal!” Tyrone said, brightly. He snapped his fingers, and the chopsticks floated through the air, delivering the dumpling to his mouth before helpfully moving Maria’s banana fritters to his own plate. “Thanks for the free dessert!”

“Hey now, that’s cheating!” Maria laughed.

Tyrone only shrugged and returned to his plate, where he finally started eating with his usual enthusiasm. “What did you expect? I am a demon.”

(“I was a normal twelve-year old, with a twin sister, Mabel,” Dipper Pines had said. “One summer our parents shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods…”)

-----

There was a girl, opening a door. She had soft brown eyes and thick curls. Her shirt depicted a cartoony image of a cactus in sunglasses and had a truly ridiculous pun on it.

Elisha swallowed her fashion advice and smiled. “Amy Wethers? My name is Elisha McKenzie. I’m here on behalf of a mutual friend. Messy hair, short, tends to float when he gets excited?”

“Oh,” the girl said, leaning against the side of the door. Wary, but not completely unapproachable. “I’m familiar. Why did he send you?”

“Just to talk,” Elisha said. “You probably have a lot of questions and I know for a fact that Alcor can take some time to get used to. I also know some little tricks to get him out of your hair when he gets too annoying. Can I come in?”

------

Back in the Mindscape, there was a place called the Midway Bar. It was the place demons visited to relax, to socialise, and occasionally make deals. 

There was an empty table in the corner. A moment ago it had been occupied, now it was empty. This may have something to do with the large pair of curled horns currently stuck in its surface.

“I’m not here to fight,” Alcor said, the horns still vibrating slightly from the force with which they had been rammed into the table. A drop of sulphurous demon blood sizzled on the wood. “Just redecorating a little. That’s fine, isn’t it?”

The Bartender was frowning in his direction. The low-level demons that had fled to the edges of the room stayed there, wary. Each of them wondering if they could run, and for how long.

“Can’t fight inside the Midway Bar, right?” Alcor added. “I promised the Bartender. I’m playing nice, see? But I’m not promising the same if you leave. Come on, let’s have a talk. I have some deals to offer. To low-levels only, though. Limited time offer! You don’t wanna miss it!” 

The Bartender sighed, but went back to cleaning glasses.

Alcor’s burning eyes found the nearest demon. “Come a bit closer, don’t make me yell at you.”

“Eep!” said the Skeleton Bug. She turned one eyestalk towards the exit, another towards the Bartender. A third remained fixed on Alcor, whose shape was still coated in little flecks of demon blood, of several different colours. 

Behind her, those lucky bastards who weren’t the focus of Alcor’s attention slipped out. 

Alcor beckoned them closer. Itpolec, halfway through climbing through a window, suddenly thought better of it and hid underneath a table.

Asopiel pulled herself together, her storm clouds thickening. “You’re not going to destroy us?”

“That depends. You have two choices. One of them is this,” Alcor said, and shoved a densely written parchment in front of their trembling eyestalks and other assorted sensory organs. ‘Oregon University Safe Summons List’ it said, on top of the document.

The Skeleton Bug swallowed. “And… the other choice?”

Alcor smiled. Or showed his teeth, at least, all several rows of them. “The other is me.”

 ~The End~

#transcendence au #fic: not what he seems #alcor the dreambender #thomas strange #the demonology gang #elisha mckenzie #various demons