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fxwkes · 8 months
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I heard someone call barbie disappointingly heterosexual and I've never disagreed with anything more strongly in my life
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fxwkes · 8 months
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It's the 1st of September, you know what that means
It's halloween baby!
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fxwkes · 1 year
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fxwkes · 1 year
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Hogwarts houses not as your defining trait but the way you survived your childhood — the way you coped with your trauma.
Ravenclaw is the book you buried your nose in as you put one foot in front of the other. They are the children who stayed under the bed with flashlights to catch the monster under the bed. They are the children who came to believe themselves to be monsters. Ravenclaw is a room where you store all the things you try to forget. It’s spending years trying to think your way out of that room. Its knowing the world is a vicious place and finding wonder in it anyways.
Slytherin is keeping your head down and your eyes open. It’s blood in your mouth and venom on your tongue. Slytherin is being sharp and precise and deadly as a snake because there’s no other way to survive. It’s knowing there’s no space for you in this world unless you’re willing to carve it out. They are the children who learned to bide their time. To wait for the perfect moment to strike. To go in for the kill. Slytherin is knowing there is no justice in this world unless you make it.
Gryffindor is a tightly clenched fist to keep your hands from shaking. Its children who used to hide under the bed. Children who swore they’d never let anyone make them afraid again. Gryffindor is raised eyebrows and hackles. It’s children who know fear like a second skin. They wrap themselves in it like a home. Gryffindor is digging your toes into the earth and widening your stance. It’s matching the lions predatory gaze with a challenge of your own and clenching your jaw so it doesn’t tremble.
Hufflepuff is a pair of trembling hands that hold on tight. It’s knowing that caring leads to betrayal and deciding to care anyways. It’s tear stains and heart strings boldly on display. It’s knowing life isn’t fair but choosing to try anyway. They are the children that know the world is cruel. They are the children that love it anyway.
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fxwkes · 1 year
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ravenclaw head cannons:
were called "gifted" as kids but now everyone's caught up and they're stuck with unnecessarily high standards because everyone still thinks they're "smarter"
know multiple languages, but none of them fully
they pull the most obscure facts out of NOWHERe, and that's usually how they attempt breaking an awkward silence (it often gets more awkward)
they love hoarding stationary to never use and end up with that One Trusty Pen
spend hours organizing all their tests, due dates, etc., but it's all gone to waste by the end of the year and their organization is bothering the Slytherins for the due dates
all the houses hold a prank competition every year and it's always a Ravenclaw / Slytherin duo that wins. the teachers still don't know what hit them.
the biggest procrastinators
remember the most random complicated facts and formulas but forget the word "fingernails"
on tests,, either speeds through the easy questions and gets them all wrong but cracks the bonus question with twelve seconds to spare
OR answers everything right but leaves the bonus incomplete after staring at it and going through the 5 stages of grief in 2 minutes. they take up the test with a Slytherin after who looks at them and reveals the answer was super easy
the actual Ravenclaw motto is "caffeine will solve anything"
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fxwkes · 1 year
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Ravenclaw: Someone should take me out
Hufflepuff: Do you mean on a date?
Slytherin: Or by an assassin?
Ravenclaw: Either one... Surprise me
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fxwkes · 1 year
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fxwkes · 1 year
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yes all my favorite characters are desperate to be loved. no i don’t think that says anything about me
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fxwkes · 1 year
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the 5 love languages are:
- Sharing a blunt
- All forms of cooking
- Being incredibly stupid on purpose
- Collaborative hating
- Ignoring things
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fxwkes · 1 year
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fxwkes · 1 year
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*at the door to the selkie convention* good evening, ladies—allow me to take your coats
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fxwkes · 1 year
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fxwkes · 1 year
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any size titty is lit
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fxwkes · 1 year
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his sadboy eyes and lack of wanting to save himself has bewitched me body and soul
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fxwkes · 1 year
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i was not made for hookup culture. love me for an eternity or do not touch me at all
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fxwkes · 1 year
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im soft, sleepy, n snuggly…….truly the full package 
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fxwkes · 1 year
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we could sit in a car for 2 hours and talk about life, and that’s a date right there.
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