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ghostfacelol · 2 years

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A WARNING AGAINST AGGRAVATETHEAXE

To preface, last time I interacted with her, she was using pretty much any pronouns, mostly he/she. For the sake of clarity and because nobody else I'll be mentioning (aside from myself) uses she/her, these are the pronouns I'll be using in reference to this person.

Here I go by Ichabod, but for the sake of credibility I'll admit that if you know me from slasher Tumblr, you'd know me as Razz. My former urls are 06-13-1946 and preyslaydisplay. The information following is why those blogs disappeared, and at the end of this I'll be including a folder of screenshots that I can't fit into this post.

Trigger warnings for: grooming, predation, ableism, racism.

Updated 08/08/22 to atone for misinformation.

Main Text:

I met aggravatetheaxe, or Jill/Jack, around June of 2021. I was freshly 19 and just getting into slashers and stuff, and had been invited to a server of my then-mutual's (now-friend's) creation. Among the people I interacted with was JJ. I started reading her fic on her blog, and began to admire her intensely. She seemed like the paragon of creativity to me, and I wanted very badly to be friends. When I started garnering her attention I felt ridiculously special. This feeling would only grow, and in the long run kept me from seeing all of the red flags she put on full display.

The first sign should have been the way she would constantly bring up being a recovering abuser, as if this quality somehow meant she was qualified to speak about mental health and discrimination. Most of us -- myself, and three other friends -- bought into it and sung her praises. Oh, JJ, you're so brave for finally putting effort into being a decent human being. Even though, as I've realized now, she wasn't.

The next red flag for me should have been the way she attacked anyone who disagreed with her, or even said something that she didn't think to be true. I remember one particular instance where my friend -- the one who started the server we met on, who I'll be referring to as B -- was talking about how irritating it is to try to find clothing that fits when you're fat, and mentioned that he gets some of his stuff tailored. JJ, who is also fat, decided to chime in and declare that "that's not how being fat works." As if she was the authority. This prosecution towards B only continued, too. He would go offline, or just not talk in the server for days to weeks, and JJ took federal issue with this. She would say things like "we care about him so much, why doesn't he care about us back," implying that just because B has a life and doesn't spend every second of it online, he's somehow denying "us" what "we" deserve.

[ID: Screenshots of B's explanation: "Don't forget the main reason I didn't talk to anyone [in the private server] was because of Jill and Jill alone. Jill creeped me the fuck out and I refused to even be in the same presence as them." End ID.]

This constant criticism was what caused the biggest drama within our friend group at the time. I believe it was in August of 2021 that Jill and her long-time partner DT brought G into their relationship as a third. However, after about three months of this, G started noticing the red flags that the rest of us were blind to. It all came to a head when JJ brought up all that criticism of B again, directly to G (a patented Jill twist to the "me-or-him" abuse separation tactic). G had had enough of Jill making up accusations towards him -- B is family to them. Essentially their baby brother -- and was scared, seeing how similar Jill's behavior was to their abusive father's. So they broke the relationship off.

Jill immediately flew to us to self-flaggelate and put on enough of an emotional show to convince us that G was the bad guy, and that it was all B's fault too. She called G "pretentious" for being vocally proud of their Mexican heritage (they'd struggled with their heritage for years and had just recently been able to find pride in it), and said that she felt like "G was trying to turn her into the big bad white person" by making jokes about Mexican racial slurs (to restate: G is Mexican). There were a lot of white tears. R -- the youngest of our group -- was almost instantly in G's DMs attacking them for having broken it off with Jill and DT. Later, Jill came to my DMs specifically to cry and agonize, saying "I must still be an abuser, everybody leaves me, I'm so terrible." In my naïvety, I reassured her that this wasn't the case.

[ID: A testimony from B's partner on Jill's behavior, recounting an instance in which B was frustrated that a 16 year old girl was making uncomfortable advances on him in his server and DMs. "I deadass had a fucking panic attack and left the server when I saw [Jill] attacking B and literally making everyone else mad at him, too, during the [16 year old] situation; when she was making him uncomfortable. I had the same fucking shit happen to me when I was in a group, and a guy who was 15 made innapropriate advances towards me and made me wildly fucking uncomfortable. Just because I was 18 and he was younger I was so fucking scared no one would believe me. This mf literally masturbated to me while I was asleep on VC." End ID.]

This all happened in a server we'd made separate from B's, for just the small friend group (cult) we'd accumulated. In this server, JJ took the sexual atmosphere that they'd been cultivating in the nsfw channels of B's server to a whole new level. G was the only one even nearing Jill's (26) age bracket, while I, and the two other most active people there were 19, 19 and freshly 18. Despite this, Jill would regularly encourage us to send nudes for the sake of "body positivity," and the majority of interaction between everyone in this server was extremely sexual in nature, mostly through intense self-insert roleplay. She actively encouraged an autistic 19 year old's porn addiction and fed into it with more of said ERP.

To approach the subject of my boyfriend, Dae: he saw the signs before anybody else did. I would send him screenshots from the cult server, and it got to the point that he joined the cult server just to scary-dog Jill into getting off my ass, because he didn't like how sexual she was being towards me. The moment he joined Jill referred to me out of nowhere as "the server bicycle." I was terrified that Dae would take this to mean I was cheating on him, but thankfully he was too smart for that.

Thus began Jill's targeting of Dae once she figured out he wouldn't brown-nose like the rest of us did. That he wasn't going to let her control him. Any time he spoke in the cult server, whether it be a joke or his beliefs, Jill would try to start an argument. He would provide proper life advice instead of just encouraging us to steep in negative emotions, and JJ hated that. Dae ended up losing his father to COVID shortly after joining the server, and so a lot of his trauma ended up being shared. Instead of acknowledging that some people grow up in different, dangerous environments, JJ would try to silence and attack him for telling us about how he had to defend himself and others physically from violent queerphobia and antisemitism. When Dae shared how he was regularly harassed both physically and with homophobic and antisemitic slurs, and had to physically fight to defend himself, Jill said that he was glorifying violence and trying to sound cool. When he said that he wished those Nazi teenagers would have gotten more than just a slap on the wrist for quite literally trying to kill him, Jill excused it with a "they were just kids."

All of this came to light for me around the time that I'd attempted to make my own server, as I was pulling away from interests I shared with Jill and the others, and wanted to branch out to meet my own needs. Jill had joined it because she "wanted to learn about my interests" (read: wanted to keep tabs on me), but was never active after the first day she joined. I was still active here and there in the cult server, and had taken private issue with a random post I'd seen on Tumblr. I sent it in the server with a joking "kill yourself" type of quip in response to it. JJ was right on my ass, clutching her purse and asking if I was feeling okay. That I'm sweeter than that, that her darling widdle baby Razzy would never make a "kill yourself" joke. This caught me entirely off guard. It was only later that I put together how much she routinely infantilized me. For lack of patience in describing this revelation: Jill routinely preys on autistic people. DT, who she groomed, is autistic. The other 19 year old in the cult server is autistic. R is autistic. G is autistic. I am autistic. Jill is not. When those of us who are autistic were discussing how important it is for us to have each other, and how much easier it is to exist around other autistics, Jill cut in with "I feel safer around autistic people, frowny face." She infantilized me, she infantilizes her partner, she sees autistic people as gullible and useable, and the easiest people to manipulate, especially if she presents herself as respectful and supportive of us by using her autistic partner -- who she calls ableist slurs for funnies -- as a cover.

[ID: A screenshot of a post by snapsicle, reblogged by Jill. It says "(normal voice) haha bye guys, have a good rest of your day, haha, i hope you had fun, see you later. (immediately drops mask) (autistic voice) finally i can say youtube poop words without people asking about it, i hope she made lotsa spaghetti." Jill tagged it with "I'm not autistic, but same." End ID.] If it's not for you, it's not about you!

Shortly following this event -- and when I say shortly, I mean about five minutes later -- Jill popped her head into my server and took the first and easiest foothold she could. My boyfriend had made a distateful joke, and she called him out on it. That's not the problem. He apologized, straight up. Didn't explain why he'd made the joke in the first place because he didn't want to try to justify his mistake or beat himself up for forgiveness, and he said as much. He stated that it was a shitty joke, and he was sorry.

Jill didn't like that.

She kept at it, harping on him, until someone else piled on and started slinging nasty insults. I'd made a server for adults because I expected adults to be able to handle themselves maturely and learn from each other. But as we all know, once shit goes downhill like that, there's no salvaging it. So I nuked the server.

A minute later and I got a DM from JJ. (And I'm sorry I don't have the energy to transcribe these, there's a lot and this is a taxing thing to write about.)

She immediately began piling the blame on Dae, using the joke as justification for her long-time hatred of him. Throughout this entire DM she spends her time trying to subtly convince me that Dae -- the man who's built me up, taught me extremely important and healing life skills, and been nothing but sweet to me since I met him -- was a bad influence on me. Which is, you know, a little fucked up on the front of trying to get in the way of people's relationships; not to mention that I'm autistic, and Dae is bipolar, and the way Jill treated us was very much in line with "poor defenseless little autistic" being used by the "big scary vitriolic unstable bipolar." Calls him vitriolic, straight up. Just continuing to prove how ableist her treatment of the people around her is. She also tried to use my patron deity against me. Which just pisses me off.

"Regardless, I hope you know the way I feel about him doesn't reflect on you at all. I love you so naturally I will always think you deserve better, even if he wasn't the way he is."

The way he is? This entire conversation consisted of Jill trying to convince me that my boyfriend is abusive. Like, look at that. Shit.

After all that closed down, I agonized for days over what I should do. I knew there was something wrong, but I couldn't tell what. I came partially to the correct conclusion after a day or two, and wrote a very long, heartfelt message to tell Jill, who I'd put so much trust and love into, how much she'd hurt me and that I was ending our friendship. I wasn't dramatic about it, I didn't make a fuss, and I thought that was it.

But a tiger doesn't change its stripes. Jill shit-talked me the same way she shit-talked G. Saying she didn't deserve what I'd said, and that she's done making friends in younger age ranges because they're so immature (read: don't put up her abuse), and that "how dare you call ME abusive when YOUR boyfriend likes to go on and on about --" *checks the writing on my hand* "-- the violent trauma he endured living in a red state as a trans queer Jewish man."

I told her that was shitty, and blocked her. Haven't spoken to her since.

In conclusion, I've written all of this out not for the sake of telling a sob story, but (as it says in the title) as a warning, and to come out about all the abuse my friends and I have endured under her.

This person is a manipulative, ableist, racist predator, and very good at convincing people that she isn't. Please keep yourselves safe.

If you'd like more screenshots and evidence, please feel free to visit this archive. Hopefully it's cohesive enough. And thank you for taking the time to read this.

#reblog this version as it's been updated #< prev tags

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